The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

by Ross Petras, Kathryn Petras

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips,  spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous  and infamous figures past and present -- a  complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth  champions of all time.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Reference, Language

240 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1993

Reviews

[John Yelverton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of these quotes in this book were so bad that it was almost painful to read, yet this book is a great way to put a quick smile on your face when you're down.

[Rosemary Standeven · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an amusing book to dip in and out of, but I had a few problems with the overall presentation. Firstly, although there are some few pages of particular themes, most of the entries are listed alphabetically, with no attempt to bring similar types of entries together. I would have liked to have had a section on political gaffes for instance, instead of having them scattered about. Baseball player Yogi Berra and movie mogul Samuel Goldwyn (both prodigious producers of idiocies) do each get their own section – though not all their quotes in this book can be found in these specific locations.
Secondly, I had a problem with the title “Stupidest”. Yes, Spoonerisms, Malapropisms and general misuse of vocabulary are “stupid”, often funny, and frequently have something to say about the intelligence of the speaker, but other quotes I found more disturbing than stupid:
“I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves” – John Wayne
“We may be finding that in some blacks when [the carotid choke hold] is applied, the veins or arteries do not open up like . . . in normal people” – Los Angeles Police Chief
“It’s easier to thump a faggot than an average Joe. Who cares?” – an LA Police Officer
“Have we gone beyond the bounds of reasonable dishonesty?” – CIA Memo
“I say this a lot, and I probably shouldn’t: the difference between rape and seduction is salesmanship” – Bill Carpenter
“Sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for virtuous women” – Phyllis Schlafly
Can you really describe racism, genocide and sexism as stupid? Hopefully all of these are from a long time ago, and represent attitudes long since buried – but no dates are given.
There is the normal ubiquitous Mathematical ignorance:
“If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty time higher than it should be” – Washington DC Councilman
“The infiltration group was composed of 1/3 males, 1/3 females and 1/3 party officials” – US intelligence Officer
And also a few priceless quotes (though I have no idea who the people are):
“Even Napoleon had his Watergate” – Danny Ozark
“Everyone who is for abortion was at one time a feces” – Peter Grace
“If there’s a pileup, they’ll have to give some of the players artificial insemination” – Curt Goody
I was pleased to see, that amongst all the American quotes, there was room for an infamous Colemanball – courtesy of the inestimable British sports broadcaster, David Coleman:
“Now Juantorena opens his legs – and really shows his class”
And I was just as pleased to see that the USA has its own (Jerry) Coleman.
So, in conclusion: a generally funny read, but some stupidities are just so much more worrying than mere inanities.

[Rose]

Entertaining if not always strictly factual. I think that, had this book been written after the rise of George W, it would have been twice as long. As it is, his dad gets quite a few entries. Foot in mouth disease - keeping it in the family.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very funny book full of misstatements from people you will recognize and others you will not. One of my favorites is from, of course, Yogi Berra. "Mantle can bat left handed because he's amphibious"!!! Good for a laugh or to use for parties or speeches.

[Daniel Widrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm pretty sure half of these quotes are wrong/made up/whatever, but I really don't care, because they're hilaaaaaaaaaarious. I can pretty much flip to any random page, read a couple quotes, and crack up.

[CJ Bowen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious and humbling. Sir Boyle Roche and Yogi Berra were national treasures to their respective nations. Some of the quotations are only funny if you share the liberalish leanings of the compilers, but most of these utterances are indeed laughable.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fundamental for me on so many levels.

[Jeff Guertin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Got this book as a stocking stuffer and found it to be OK. Some of the quotes were rather hilarious, but many were also very underwhelming. Overall the book was a decent pool-side read.

[Peff Packer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very, very funny.

[IfCatsCouldRead · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was not what I hoped it would be. While there were a few funny quotes, most of the book was just boring.

[Rick]

amusing. If people followed me around with a notepad, I am sure that I would make this book too. :)

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reading books like this is a good way to make you feel smarter. I have to say though, I feel like there could have been a lot more Dan Quayle quotes. He could have his own collection of quotes. All in all, enjoyable. It is one of those books that is hard to read over and over, because it is a book of quotes, and not a story.

Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
Publication Date: 1993

[Evelyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of these quotes were quite funny, but many were boring or not too funny. My favorites were from Samuel Goldwyn, Yogi Berra, Dan Quayle and Ronald Reagan. I found a lot of the political and scientific quotes to be just intelligible.

[Tony Hinde · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you read this book in small doses, it's fine. After a while, you'll despair for humanity's future.

It was interesting comparing self-contradictory sudoFruedian slips, like those of Yogi Berra, with the ignorant stupidity of Dan Quayle.

[Bryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious!

[Destiny Sanderson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this would be funny.... so sad that it wasn't

[Dick Pilskog · Rating 2 out of 5]

Forget about it. Pretty good book but the author said it was mentioned in various times I got tired of it. I only read part of the book. Gave up midway from the book.

[Steven Heywood · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hit and miss but there's some fun stuff to be found.

[Zoey Garza · Rating 3 out of 5]

Petras has done it again! While not stunning or captivating this was quite the collection of word bumbles and it got me by when I had brain fog due to the flu. It’s entertaining enough!

[Iscritto Iscritti · Rating 3 out of 5]

The usual just nice book. Of course it's filled with all the stupid things said by republicans and forgets a lot of stupidities said by democrats and all the liberals' nonsenses..

[Jbussen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous, interesting for history/trivia/political lovers and I love BR Readers and that is what this book is. I am in stunned disbelief that none of my conservative friends are in here but there are many conservatives! "but it quickly became obvious that the authors seem to think that only conservative politicians say stupid things. I've read about 75% of it and haven't read one "stupid" thing said by a notable liberal politician (there's probably 1 or 2 in there), but I've read at least 30 "stupid" things said by conservative politicians. There's also plenty of quotes to insult you if you aren't pro environment, etc. The book is a product of our opinionated and divided times. I own several books on quotations, and find the better ones to be more ageless". Truth hurts don't it?

Merged review:

Humorous, interesting for history/trivia/political lovers and I love BR Readers and that is what this book is. I am in stunned disbelief that none of my conservative friends are in here but there are many conservatives! "but it quickly became obvious that the authors seem to think that only conservative politicians say stupid things. I've read about 75% of it and haven't read one "stupid" thing said by a notable liberal politician (there's probably 1 or 2 in there), but I've read at least 30 "stupid" things said by conservative politicians. There's also plenty of quotes to insult you if you aren't pro environment, etc. The book is a product of our opinionated and divided times. I own several books on quotations, and find the better ones to be more ageless". Truth hurts don't it?

[Jacob O'connor · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not the best in the genre, but still mildly amusing.