The Lexicon of Stupidity

by Kathryn Petras, Kathryn Petras

Look up Religion , and discover this from Paris [The Kaballah] helps you confront your fears. Like, if a girl borrowed my clothes and never gave them back and I saw her wearing them months later, I would confront her.

Or Anatomy , and find sportscaster Jerry Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base!

Or Truth in Government —here’s Senator Alan There are a lot of things that we do that are irrelevant, but that’s what the Senate is for.

Arranged alphabetically, from Accident , Traffic to Zoology , Game Show Contestants’ Knowledge of (and you wouldn’t believe how distorted that knowledge sometimes is), The Lexicon of Stupidity is an overstuffed dictionary of quotes, banalities, actual book titles, holdup notes, menu items, TV listings, and more, each meeting one exacting they’re so jaw-droppingly dumb you can’t help but laugh. It’s the wit of the witless. The comedy of the clueless. The giggly fun of celebrities, athletes, politicians, newscasters, and other pompous types planting a foot (or two) firmly in mouth. And no authors could be more qualified to pull it together than Ross and Kathryn Petras, whose calendar celebrating stupidity— The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said —is a perennial knock-out, with millions of copies sold since its debut in 1995.

It even includes real courtroom

Q. Are you sexually active?
A. No, I just lie there.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Reference, Comedy

400 pages, Paperback

First published May 23, 2005

Reviews

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is like the Darwin Awards, only without all the death. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. Ross and Kathryn Petras have published several collections similar to The Lexicon of Stupidity. The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said was quite honestly one of the most educational books I've ever read. The selections range from the absurdly bold ("Yes, I would defend Hitler. And I would win." - attorney Alan Dershowitz) to the surreal ("What would happen if you melted? You know, you never hear this talked about that much..." - Keanu Reeves) to the historically curious ("Even Napoleon had his Watergate." - Danny Ozark). The Lexicon of Stupidity also includes sections on strange things overheard at libraries ("Why were so many Civil War battles fought on National Park sites?"), dadalicious newspaper headlines ("Renewed Fighting Threatens Peace") and impractical things said during job interviews ("Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"). Unlike The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said, however, this new collection has a broader selection of idiotic quotes and a wider scope of sources. It's much funnier for the adjustment. A hilarious collection.

NC

[Roger · Rating 1 out of 5]

I snagged The Lexicon of Stupidity because I wanted something funny to read I could tackle in small nightly doses. I finally could not stand it anymore though and read the last hundred pages or so in one sitting. I had to because what I thought would be funny had a cumulative effect I did not count on: it totally depressed me.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

An amusing distraction I recommend to anyone who thinks humanity is full of infinite promise. The book brings that population safely back to the reality we all know - there are a few gifted people, a ton of average people, and then, as this book illustrates, there are those who fluidly speak a language of stupidity. To be fair, the book is humorous and some of the speakers are speaking on the spot and are simply tongue tied or misspoke, but their errors make for a few chuckles in this book. Not something for everyone, but not the worst humor book I have read.

[Mike · Rating 2 out of 5]

A funny book of quotes ,divided into sections.All pretty amusing.Everyone says something that doesn't come out right at some point.The funniest stuff comes from the folks "running" our country.Some of the dumbest of the dumb.I'm just getting started on this.I wish I had something like this when I was finding a quote for my year book.If you know anyone that's in high school,get them this book.

[Dark-Draco · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books that you just have to pick up and read. It's full of all the funny things people have said or printed, that makes them look like total idiots. There's court transcipts, sport commentating, newspaper headlines, job interviews - everything and anything under the sun where a gaff can be made. It had me giggling out loud constantly - fantastic!

[Shinaka · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book taught me about the multi-faceted nature of stupidity. For God's sake, stupidity is even alphabetized in the book! Also, if you're still skeptical about reading this, at least pick it up for Bush Sr.'s quote from a speech that includes both "cry for me Argentina" and "Lincoln."

[Paul Penney · Rating 1 out of 5]

Redundant! If you liked earlier books by this author, you've already enjoyed this, because 90% of it is the same old crap, word for word, from earlier books. I feel ripped off having bought it again. Be warned! Most of this, while funny, is not new material.

[Olivia :D · Rating 5 out of 5]

OH.
MY.
GOSH.
BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE AND I AM FOR SERIOUSLY. THIS BOOK IS THE STUFF, MAAN. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING BOOK IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING.

[Kimathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just a fun read, got it for Christmas, made me laugh out loud quite a few times.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humor books are a guilty pleasure of mine, particularly ones re. others' mistakes/idiocy. This one is cute and short, but it lacks the punch to be a favorite.

[Mathias Seiwert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has made me laugh out loud numerous times. Worthwhile book for perusing on an airplane, train, or on the beach soaking up sun. Some parts are crude and inappropriate for younger readers.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick and amusing read with entries on a variety of subjects including Fame, Hard Times, and Gameshow Contestants' Knowledge of Zoology.

[Jimyanni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good for more than a few chuckles, this compendium of misstatements, typos, and all-around stupid answers is amusing, but certainly not more than that. And some of the entries are just dumb, rather than amusingly dumb.

[Tonya · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun book about the ways that people (mis)use their words. A quick read, that will have you laughing.

[Isabel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've got 4 words for this book.

FOOT
IN
MOUTH
DISEASE

🤣🤣🤣

Think before you speak or better yet, just shut up!
Unless you want your blunder/s to be remembered for eternity.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read of some of the stupid things people have said. Really enjoyed the section of things people had actually said during a job interview and the questions some (prospective) employers had actually asked. Great. A little crude in some parts, though, so I took off 1 star.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is hilarious, although a lot of it is from misspellings and misinterpretation than actual stupidity.

[Niki · Rating 5 out of 5]

re-reading this! so funny!

[Evie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As if I needed reminders of how ridiculous humans are, this book lit up my friends with laughter. Just passing it around brought tears to our eyes.

[Judd · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was given this book some years ago as a gift and I figured I would finally get down to reading it. My plan was to hammer it out in an afternoon but it took me nearly a week. Not a glowing endorsement for a humor book but it isn't that bad. This book is a compilation of strange things that people have said. From politicians to athletes to instruction manuals, the brother/sister duo cover topics literally from A to Z.

The authors have written a few books on the topic of people saying stupid things and I'm guessing they've put their kids through college on the publishing royalties. I wasn't very impressed. There were a couple laugh out loud moments but most of the snippets sound like nervous people flubbing a line or someone picking the wrong word that doesn't fit the context of the conversation. In this day and age of Internet media and DVR, it shouldn't be hard to find real mouth diarrhea. To the authors' credit, this book is from 2005 so I can't put contemporary demands on their shoulders. They clearly do their work by compiling 400 pages of quotes but I wasn't blown away. This would be a good book to put on the toilet along with some copies of Sports Illustrated and O so it can be consumed in small, enjoyable doses.