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Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster's Daughter
Yakuza Moon is the shocking, yet intensely moving memoir of 37-year-old Shoko Tendo, who grew up the daughter of a yakuza boss. Tendo lived her life in luxury until the age of six, when her father was sent to prison and her family fell into terrible debt. Bullied by classmates and terrorized at home by a father who became a drunken, violent monster after his release from prison, Tendo rebelled. A regular visitor to nightclubs at the age of 12, she soon became a drug addict and a member of a girl gang. At 15 she was sentenced to eight months in a juvenile detention center.
Adulthood brought big bucks and glamour when Tendo started working as a bar hostess during Japan's booming bubble economy of the nineteen-eighties. But among her many rich and loyal patrons there were also abusive clients, one of whom beat her so badly that her face was left permanently scarred. When her mother died, Tendo plunged into such a deep depression that she tried to commit suicide twice.
Tendo takes us through the bad times with warmth and candor, and gives a moving and inspiring account of how she overcame a lifetime of discrimination and hardship. Getting tattooed, from the base of her neck to the tips of her toes, with a design centered on a geisha with a dagger in her mouth, was an act that empowered her to start making changes in her life. She quit her job as a hostess. On her last day at the bar she looked up at the full moon, a sight she never forgot. The moon became a symbol of her struggle to become whole, and the title of the book she wrote as an epitaph for herself and her family.
Adulthood brought big bucks and glamour when Tendo started working as a bar hostess during Japan's booming bubble economy of the nineteen-eighties. But among her many rich and loyal patrons there were also abusive clients, one of whom beat her so badly that her face was left permanently scarred. When her mother died, Tendo plunged into such a deep depression that she tried to commit suicide twice.
Tendo takes us through the bad times with warmth and candor, and gives a moving and inspiring account of how she overcame a lifetime of discrimination and hardship. Getting tattooed, from the base of her neck to the tips of her toes, with a design centered on a geisha with a dagger in her mouth, was an act that empowered her to start making changes in her life. She quit her job as a hostess. On her last day at the bar she looked up at the full moon, a sight she never forgot. The moon became a symbol of her struggle to become whole, and the title of the book she wrote as an epitaph for herself and her family.
196 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
166 people are currently reading
2958 people want to read
About the author
Shōko Tendō
4 books91 followersWith her dyed-brown long hair and tight designer jeans, Shoko Tendo looks like any other stylish young Japanese woman -- until she removes her shirt to reveal the vivid tattoos covering her back and most of her body. The elaborate dragons, phoenixes and a medieval courtesan with one breast bared and a knife between her teeth are a symbol of Tendo's childhood as the daughter of a "yakuza" gangster and her youth as a drug-using gang member.
The author of "Yakuza Moon," a best-selling memoir just out in English, the 39-year-old Tendo says that police efforts to eradicate the gangsters have merely made them harder to track. "The more the police push, the more the yakuza are simply going underground, making their activities harder to follow than they ever were before".
The author of "Yakuza Moon," a best-selling memoir just out in English, the 39-year-old Tendo says that police efforts to eradicate the gangsters have merely made them harder to track. "The more the police push, the more the yakuza are simply going underground, making their activities harder to follow than they ever were before".
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 435 reviews
January 25, 2023
O autobiografie foarte sincera si impresionanta despre adolescenta, familie, soarta, greutati si dragoste, asa cum a perceput-o fiica unui sef Yakuza din Japonia anilor '70-'80. Am evitat sa spun ca este despre viata de gangster deoarece, asa cum si ceilalti cititori au remarcat, romanul contine destul de putine detalii despre membrii Yakuza, despre obiceiurile si afacerile lor, concentrandu-se mai mult pe viata personala a tinerei. Faptul ca tatal ei era un gangster este amintit mai ales atunci cand aveau greutati din aceasta pricina. Asadar, cei care doresc sa afle mai multe amanunte despre Yakuza trebuie sa citeasca P.S.-ul de la sfarsit sau sa se reorienteze spre alta carte.
Naratiunea se face la persoana intai si aflam ca Shoko Tendo s-a nascut in 1968 in Osaka fiind al treilea copil din cei patru ai unui sef Yakuza. Ei au o situatie materiala excelenta ducand o viata de lux, aceasta in mare parte datorandu-se functiei tatalui. Cand acesta se comporta din ce in ce mai violent si ajunge la inchisoare tanara devine yanki, o rebela cu haine tipatoare, par decolorat care chiuleste de la scoala, se drogheaza, si are un anturaj din ce in ce mai dubios. Este trimisa la scoala de corectie si cand iese isi continua viata dezordonata. Tatal pierde toata averea, trebuie sa renunte la pozitia din Yakuza, creditorii ii hartuiesc, iar fata incepe sa se drogheze serios cu Shabu - un amestec de droguri foarte puternic:
"Nu conta daca ma drogam sau nu - viata mea era tot un cosmar."
Urmeaza relatiile cu diferiti tipi care abuzeaza de ea, o lovesc, o umilesc si o tortureaza. Reuseste sa depaseasca aceasta perioada neagra si se casatoreste cu Taka, un om bun. Ea crede insa ca reprezinta o povara pentru el, atat financiar cat si emotional si divorteaza ca sa devina dama de companie.
Intr-un final renunta la meseria ei de noapte si simtind chemarea se face scriitoare.
P.S.-ul cartii ne ofera detalii pretioase despre Yakuza, de unde a pornit, care este codul lor de onoare, ce inseamna cuvantul, despre ritualul Yubitsume (taierea degetului mic) si alte lucruri interesante.
Mi-a placut comparatia de la pagina 38 a tatalui lui Shoko, care intrebat fiind daca fata lui sa fie trimisa la scoala de corectie sau nu, a spus despre ea ca este ca o minge dezumflata - daca o arunci nu are traiectorie dreapta si nu se va intoarce inapoi. Asadar ii este necesara corectia.
Romanul m-a facut sa ma gandesc ca in viata, in lume, sunt unele "colturi" de o intunecime terifianta. Numai cei care au si ei in interior doza de intuneric necesara pot patrunde in aceste locuri. Unii aleg sa traiasca in "safe-mode" iar altii se lupta corp la corp cu lucrurile intunecate.
P.S. In roman se aminteste de melodia lui Saki Kubota - Ihoujin. Daca sunteti curiosi de cum suna o melodie japoneza din anii '80 atunci puteti sa o cautati. Este gingasa si in acelasi timp melancolica.
Naratiunea se face la persoana intai si aflam ca Shoko Tendo s-a nascut in 1968 in Osaka fiind al treilea copil din cei patru ai unui sef Yakuza. Ei au o situatie materiala excelenta ducand o viata de lux, aceasta in mare parte datorandu-se functiei tatalui. Cand acesta se comporta din ce in ce mai violent si ajunge la inchisoare tanara devine yanki, o rebela cu haine tipatoare, par decolorat care chiuleste de la scoala, se drogheaza, si are un anturaj din ce in ce mai dubios. Este trimisa la scoala de corectie si cand iese isi continua viata dezordonata. Tatal pierde toata averea, trebuie sa renunte la pozitia din Yakuza, creditorii ii hartuiesc, iar fata incepe sa se drogheze serios cu Shabu - un amestec de droguri foarte puternic:
"Nu conta daca ma drogam sau nu - viata mea era tot un cosmar."
Urmeaza relatiile cu diferiti tipi care abuzeaza de ea, o lovesc, o umilesc si o tortureaza. Reuseste sa depaseasca aceasta perioada neagra si se casatoreste cu Taka, un om bun. Ea crede insa ca reprezinta o povara pentru el, atat financiar cat si emotional si divorteaza ca sa devina dama de companie.
Intr-un final renunta la meseria ei de noapte si simtind chemarea se face scriitoare.
P.S.-ul cartii ne ofera detalii pretioase despre Yakuza, de unde a pornit, care este codul lor de onoare, ce inseamna cuvantul, despre ritualul Yubitsume (taierea degetului mic) si alte lucruri interesante.
Mi-a placut comparatia de la pagina 38 a tatalui lui Shoko, care intrebat fiind daca fata lui sa fie trimisa la scoala de corectie sau nu, a spus despre ea ca este ca o minge dezumflata - daca o arunci nu are traiectorie dreapta si nu se va intoarce inapoi. Asadar ii este necesara corectia.
Romanul m-a facut sa ma gandesc ca in viata, in lume, sunt unele "colturi" de o intunecime terifianta. Numai cei care au si ei in interior doza de intuneric necesara pot patrunde in aceste locuri. Unii aleg sa traiasca in "safe-mode" iar altii se lupta corp la corp cu lucrurile intunecate.
P.S. In roman se aminteste de melodia lui Saki Kubota - Ihoujin. Daca sunteti curiosi de cum suna o melodie japoneza din anii '80 atunci puteti sa o cautati. Este gingasa si in acelasi timp melancolica.
June 23, 2013
Under the title of this book is written Memoirs of a Gangster’s Daughter, so I figured I could now understand what a Yakuza is from someone within and, perhaps, I could finally separate fact from myth. However, early on, Tendo makes it clear that this book is about her and not the Yakuza. It would be harmful to the persons to divulge information about them, which she’ll avoid, or to talk about the workings of the Yakuza… right, I’m thinking the title is a marketing gimmick.
This is a first person account of Shoko Tendo who was the daughter of a wealthy Yakuza boss. The early chapters reveal the relationship she had between her emotionally stiff father, her mother who constantly worries and frets over the family, and her rebellious sister who set the example on how to be cool by cutting off classes and hanging out with young gangs – otherwise known as a yanki. There’s little mention of her oldest sibling, her brother, whom also suffers by reputation from being of a Yakuza family and from Tendo’s stunts when she, too, becomes a yanki.
According to her accounts, her father was suffering financial difficulties and falling into debt. With little knowledge offered about the workings of the Yakuza, all I could gather is that if you have money, you’ll be regarded with respect and feared; if you’re loosing money, fellow Yakuza offer you bailouts with outrageous interests that you can’t possibly pay back; if you loose all the burrowed money, you’re in for it because first, the collectors come and harras you to pay up and then, when you can’t make the payments, the hitman comes around. Well I don’t see the logic in any of this. Furthermore, Tendo never shows that her father’s activities were criminal since even she accorded the term Yakuza synonymous to Mafia.
The events and circumstances that are supposed to evoke my sympathy are hard to relate to since Tendo made her own choices knowing what she was getting herself into. Frankly, there was little validity to her ditching school or joining a gang. Then there’s her fall into drug use where she talks about the rush of shooting up and f***ing while high. Or her accounts of physical abuse, which start gradually with her boyfriend who she shoots up with, before it builds up to outbursts of violence where her descriptions conjured the image of her being a human punching bag. The abuse continues with other men, too, even after she ended her drug addiction, and it reads more like a tab on the number of violent encounters than anything with more substance.
The problem with Tendo’s character portrait is that it’s written without depth. At no point does Tendo ever go into the impact such physiacl abuse had on her state of mind or the emotional turmoil it inflicted upon her. At this point, the book lost all credibility to me. The only argument Tendo has to justify her actions such as become a yanki, alomst get gang-raped, use speed and f*** all the time – was that she was Yakuza, an outcast in society, in school, among friends… But what does Yakuza mean?! I’m just supposed to grasp Tendo’s contextual references because she tells me that that’s how things work.
Later on, the book takes a different tone where she doesn’t even need to justify or argue any of her choices. I have to take it at face value that she works as an escort (but is not a prostitute even though men constantly proposition her), she willingly lends money to her gambling brother-in-law because her sister asks her to, she supports her family even though she can barely afford rent… I’m not necessarily saying this isn’t all possible or truthful, but I’m saying that she chose to write about it, so why not make me understand and feel for her?
Suffice it to say, the book came across as more of an account of the hardships of being the daughter of a Yakuza – whatever that means – and the choices a young woman makes as a result of that alone. A thin, non-compelling argument given the extremity of what happens to her while her parents worry and offer her support in the background. Her story could fill a 500 page memoir stuffed with emotional investment and reflection but, instead, it’s 195 pages with scenes and dialogue that read more like a bad thriller.
This is a first person account of Shoko Tendo who was the daughter of a wealthy Yakuza boss. The early chapters reveal the relationship she had between her emotionally stiff father, her mother who constantly worries and frets over the family, and her rebellious sister who set the example on how to be cool by cutting off classes and hanging out with young gangs – otherwise known as a yanki. There’s little mention of her oldest sibling, her brother, whom also suffers by reputation from being of a Yakuza family and from Tendo’s stunts when she, too, becomes a yanki.
According to her accounts, her father was suffering financial difficulties and falling into debt. With little knowledge offered about the workings of the Yakuza, all I could gather is that if you have money, you’ll be regarded with respect and feared; if you’re loosing money, fellow Yakuza offer you bailouts with outrageous interests that you can’t possibly pay back; if you loose all the burrowed money, you’re in for it because first, the collectors come and harras you to pay up and then, when you can’t make the payments, the hitman comes around. Well I don’t see the logic in any of this. Furthermore, Tendo never shows that her father’s activities were criminal since even she accorded the term Yakuza synonymous to Mafia.
The events and circumstances that are supposed to evoke my sympathy are hard to relate to since Tendo made her own choices knowing what she was getting herself into. Frankly, there was little validity to her ditching school or joining a gang. Then there’s her fall into drug use where she talks about the rush of shooting up and f***ing while high. Or her accounts of physical abuse, which start gradually with her boyfriend who she shoots up with, before it builds up to outbursts of violence where her descriptions conjured the image of her being a human punching bag. The abuse continues with other men, too, even after she ended her drug addiction, and it reads more like a tab on the number of violent encounters than anything with more substance.
The problem with Tendo’s character portrait is that it’s written without depth. At no point does Tendo ever go into the impact such physiacl abuse had on her state of mind or the emotional turmoil it inflicted upon her. At this point, the book lost all credibility to me. The only argument Tendo has to justify her actions such as become a yanki, alomst get gang-raped, use speed and f*** all the time – was that she was Yakuza, an outcast in society, in school, among friends… But what does Yakuza mean?! I’m just supposed to grasp Tendo’s contextual references because she tells me that that’s how things work.
Later on, the book takes a different tone where she doesn’t even need to justify or argue any of her choices. I have to take it at face value that she works as an escort (but is not a prostitute even though men constantly proposition her), she willingly lends money to her gambling brother-in-law because her sister asks her to, she supports her family even though she can barely afford rent… I’m not necessarily saying this isn’t all possible or truthful, but I’m saying that she chose to write about it, so why not make me understand and feel for her?
Suffice it to say, the book came across as more of an account of the hardships of being the daughter of a Yakuza – whatever that means – and the choices a young woman makes as a result of that alone. A thin, non-compelling argument given the extremity of what happens to her while her parents worry and offer her support in the background. Her story could fill a 500 page memoir stuffed with emotional investment and reflection but, instead, it’s 195 pages with scenes and dialogue that read more like a bad thriller.
August 19, 2025
This was a very depressing read. It is one bad thing after another with little or no hope. While it is admirable that the author managed to survive the things that she describes in this book, the misfortunes continue up to the publication of this book, and the only hope offered is that the author has set her mind on becoming a writer. Judging by the quality of the writing here, that might also become another difficulty in her life.
Regarding the writing, the main weakness is that the author does not contextualize her experiences. If she had done this, some of the decisions that she made would be more understandable to the readers. For example, at the age of 12 she suddenly becomes a delinquent. For readers, this may feel a bit sudden. There is mention that she was bullied at school because she was from a yakuza family and that her father was abusive, but there are no concrete examples or stories. While I recognize that sharing these experiences could be painful for the author (especially since she has forgiven her father), but it is important for readers to understand the circumstances that motivate actions in memoirs. Without this understanding, it is difficult to get into the mind of the author, so it just becomes a list of unfortunate incidents.
At the end of the book, there is a chapter by writer Manabu Miyazaki, someone who also comes from a yakuza family. In this chapter, he writes about the similarities he noticed between the author's life and his own, and through this analysis is able to point out what life in a yakuza family is like. This chapter provides the context that is missing in the main text of this book. So if you decide to go ahead and read this, this final chapter will help you to end the reading experience on a positive note.
Regarding the writing, the main weakness is that the author does not contextualize her experiences. If she had done this, some of the decisions that she made would be more understandable to the readers. For example, at the age of 12 she suddenly becomes a delinquent. For readers, this may feel a bit sudden. There is mention that she was bullied at school because she was from a yakuza family and that her father was abusive, but there are no concrete examples or stories. While I recognize that sharing these experiences could be painful for the author (especially since she has forgiven her father), but it is important for readers to understand the circumstances that motivate actions in memoirs. Without this understanding, it is difficult to get into the mind of the author, so it just becomes a list of unfortunate incidents.
At the end of the book, there is a chapter by writer Manabu Miyazaki, someone who also comes from a yakuza family. In this chapter, he writes about the similarities he noticed between the author's life and his own, and through this analysis is able to point out what life in a yakuza family is like. This chapter provides the context that is missing in the main text of this book. So if you decide to go ahead and read this, this final chapter will help you to end the reading experience on a positive note.
September 12, 2009
I read this book in one go; considering I have never done that before, it says a lot for the intensity and breathtaking reality of the memoir. Though relatively short, it packs a powerful punch, an amazing debut. I was drawn into her story until I felt I was a part of it. The essence of a good writer is to be able to make that connection between reader and character, and Shoko Tendo has certainly done that. Way out of my usual genres, I was completely absorbed in her heart-wrenching memoir, an emotional roller-coaster told in a straight-forward, no-holds-barred manner. In the version I read, photos and a foreword have been added to the original publication. These contributed to the personality of Shoko.
Unfamiliar as I am with yakuza society (somewhat like a Japanese mafia), this book brought me into lifestyles I knew nothing about; I also learned to see a tattoo as a complete work of art, which in Japan it truly is. These tattoos are full-body canvases, extremely detailed and historical art. Shoko was the middle child in a family of three girls and a boy, her father a yakuza, in a life of plenty. Fearful of her father's rages, bullied at school, discriminated against and insecure, Shoko's lifestyle had already begun to change at the tender age of twelve when her older sister took her to a club and passed her off as 18. The next several years of her life are spent in drugged out sex, used and abused. When all goes wrong at home, her father resigns as a yakuza and is pursued by yakuza loan sharks. Shoko falls into the trap of one man, a former friend of her father. His false promises to help her father with his financial problems and his Jekyll and Hyde personality drags her deep into his net. Misguided in what is expected of her, she sinks deeper and deeper.
Shoko does not try to lecture in her book, but is faithful to her memories. She does not dwell on her situation but writes with an honesty and thoroughness that through her worst times I could feel the disassociation she finally reaches. Intense, poignant, numbed and broken, she lays it all on the line. Her emergence from this darkness is wonderful to read and shows the strength of her true character. This memoir is a real eye-opener of horrendous abuse and the intimidation that denies escape. Exceptionally well-written for a debut. I highly recommend this book.
Unfamiliar as I am with yakuza society (somewhat like a Japanese mafia), this book brought me into lifestyles I knew nothing about; I also learned to see a tattoo as a complete work of art, which in Japan it truly is. These tattoos are full-body canvases, extremely detailed and historical art. Shoko was the middle child in a family of three girls and a boy, her father a yakuza, in a life of plenty. Fearful of her father's rages, bullied at school, discriminated against and insecure, Shoko's lifestyle had already begun to change at the tender age of twelve when her older sister took her to a club and passed her off as 18. The next several years of her life are spent in drugged out sex, used and abused. When all goes wrong at home, her father resigns as a yakuza and is pursued by yakuza loan sharks. Shoko falls into the trap of one man, a former friend of her father. His false promises to help her father with his financial problems and his Jekyll and Hyde personality drags her deep into his net. Misguided in what is expected of her, she sinks deeper and deeper.
Shoko does not try to lecture in her book, but is faithful to her memories. She does not dwell on her situation but writes with an honesty and thoroughness that through her worst times I could feel the disassociation she finally reaches. Intense, poignant, numbed and broken, she lays it all on the line. Her emergence from this darkness is wonderful to read and shows the strength of her true character. This memoir is a real eye-opener of horrendous abuse and the intimidation that denies escape. Exceptionally well-written for a debut. I highly recommend this book.
January 10, 2012
I was really intrigued to read this book- a woman's account of the inner workings of the Yakuza, the first of its kind. Unfortunately perhaps, the memoir doesn't touch so much on the actual Yakuza, but rather Shoko Tendo explains how her father's early affiliation with the syndicate shaped the path of her life. Tendo is shockingly stubborn and proud and the decisions she made were arguably quite terrible but the reader maintains an affection for her- she is unapologetic and blunt. She doesn't glamorize the life of a young yanki nor her trysts with powerful men. She is a woman carved out of fire who has come out the other end scarred (both literally and metaphorically) but strong.
I would also highly recommend this book to anyone who is unfamiliar with a collectivist culture mindset. It is so very different from the individualist culture of North America- some of the decisions Tendo's family makes might seem absurd to someone unfamiliar with a highly collectivist and honour based society such as Japan. Contrary however, from reading Tendo's memoir I gathered a much greater understanding and respect for a culture so different from my own.
I would also highly recommend this book to anyone who is unfamiliar with a collectivist culture mindset. It is so very different from the individualist culture of North America- some of the decisions Tendo's family makes might seem absurd to someone unfamiliar with a highly collectivist and honour based society such as Japan. Contrary however, from reading Tendo's memoir I gathered a much greater understanding and respect for a culture so different from my own.
October 30, 2019
Ha bárki is arra számít, hogy majd jól megismerheti a jakuzák világát egy belsős embertől, nagyon téved. Én is tévedtem. Ez egy kicsit másfajta könyv, arról szól, hogy milyen élete van egy kvázi kívülállónak a jakuzák között. Ő ugye sosem lett jakuza, csak egy hányattatott sorsú fiatal lány egy jakuza családból, aki elszökött otthonról, drogozott, a pasijai agyba-főbe verték, és kellett néhány tragédia, hogy megtalálja az erőszakmentes létezést a továbbiakra.
Remélem, rendben van az élete azóta is, nagyon megkedveltem.
Remélem, rendben van az élete azóta is, nagyon megkedveltem.
March 18, 2018
Boring and shallow. Although Ms. Shoko Tendo had a Yakuza boss for a father, had dated Yakuza and had a tattoo, this book is not about Yakuza life. It is about Ms. Tendo's struggle growing up as a delinquent Yanki and serving as a hostess and dating abusing men as she grew older. A more fitting title would have been "Yanki Moon". The actual memoir could be easily rewritten into less than five pages. The remaining 180 or so pages are filled with cliched dialogues Ms. Tendo has had with friends, foes, and parents throughout her life. It is remarkable how Ms. Tendo was able to recall conversations she has had decades earlier in such vivid detail!
Those vying for an insight into Yakuza life will be disappointed. It is probably those who are interested in what it means to grow delinquent and living poor in Japan would find this book useful.
Those vying for an insight into Yakuza life will be disappointed. It is probably those who are interested in what it means to grow delinquent and living poor in Japan would find this book useful.
July 23, 2020
**Dark True Story With Great Translation**
I think foreigners (myself included) have a tendency to romanticize Japan and its culture and people. Especially when it comes to stories about Yakuza. This dark, horrifying story is a cold reminder that Japanese gangsters are not nice people.
This story should come with a strong trigger warning for drugs, abuse, and assault. The first half was a struggle for me to pick up because things just kept getting worse.
The fact that Yakuza Moon is a true story makes it all the more chilling and the photos at the end of the book are a cold reminder of that.
The translation was, I think, solid. Louise Heal Kawai did a great job reflecting the original meaning in a clear and understandable way that made it feel like it wasn't translated. Her characterization to make each voice distinct was fantastic. There was some narrative parts that felt cold, but I think this comes down to the source text. There were also some English words that I stumbled on but I think that's because of regional differences rather than any fault with the translator.
I think foreigners (myself included) have a tendency to romanticize Japan and its culture and people. Especially when it comes to stories about Yakuza. This dark, horrifying story is a cold reminder that Japanese gangsters are not nice people.
This story should come with a strong trigger warning for drugs, abuse, and assault. The first half was a struggle for me to pick up because things just kept getting worse.
The fact that Yakuza Moon is a true story makes it all the more chilling and the photos at the end of the book are a cold reminder of that.
The translation was, I think, solid. Louise Heal Kawai did a great job reflecting the original meaning in a clear and understandable way that made it feel like it wasn't translated. Her characterization to make each voice distinct was fantastic. There was some narrative parts that felt cold, but I think this comes down to the source text. There were also some English words that I stumbled on but I think that's because of regional differences rather than any fault with the translator.
February 2, 2021
Finished it in one sitting as I could not put the book down. I cried at the part when shoko wrote the last letter to her deceased father and also when she opened up a letter he had written her prior to his death. Very heart wrenching
April 24, 2022
Не съм сигурна с какво точно е толкова скандална тази книга. Може би с това, че е "истина", докато редица други произведения в този стил са просто "художествени"? Оценявам биографичните ѝ елементи, може би ако я бях чела навремето, щях да си кажа "Ехаа, не мога да повярвам, че наистина е било така!"... Но сега подобни разкази са доста по-популярни, отколкото са били през 2007-ма, вероятно. Тендо не казва нищо ново за мен, просто разказът ѝ може да служи за поредното доказателство за живота в семейство на якудза. (Не разбрах, впрочем, защо понякога това беше с главна буква, то е същото като да пишеш мафия с главна буква, или не, ако ти е кеф, но карай... Авторката сама си казва, че езикът ѝ е по-скоро беден, обаче имаме и лек проблем с българския текст на места, който проблем можеше и да го няма.)
Все още ми е трудно да приема поведението на всеки човек в тази книга за логично и нормално. Не само защото културите ни са различни и такива неща, става въпрос за пълната липса на умението им да разсъждават, мисля... И неумението им да живеят дори не е обвързано непременно с наркотиците. Колкото и да мислят "по японски", все трябва да има някаква граница пред глупостта и себеунищожението, някъде.
Все още ми е трудно да приема поведението на всеки човек в тази книга за логично и нормално. Не само защото културите ни са различни и такива неща, става въпрос за пълната липса на умението им да разсъждават, мисля... И неумението им да живеят дори не е обвързано непременно с наркотиците. Колкото и да мислят "по японски", все трябва да има някаква граница пред глупостта и себеунищожението, някъде.
February 7, 2011
The book was pretty good, but it wasn't the greatest book I've read. Shoko had a past where it was sex,drugs, and rock n' roll. Everything ended when her dad got sick, and everything went down hill with her and her family. I think this book reminds me of the waitress by Atmosphere, because there's people that have always had a rough life, and as much and har you work there's never going to a day where you can catch your breath. The ending on the song ends " maybe i should of been a better father to my daughter", which is true in Shoko's postition, because her father should of been more into there family than the gang. At one point I can compare it to my cousin's life because one you get married and your in a gang, not only does your wife marry you she also marries the gang and what it comes along with. This book made it alot clearer of what my cousin goes thru with his crew, and why he wants out or his wife and him are over.
June 6, 2014
Like many have said, the summary to this book is mis-leading. It does not give the reader much insight at all into the Yakuza world, so if you pick it up out of an interest in that subject, you will be disappointed. What you will instead be reading is the story of a woman who's childhood was affected by her father's criminal activities, of the path this warped childhood eventually lead her down, and of the strength she exhibited in righting her life. Although I wasn't impressed with her writing style, I did finish the book and think that Shoko Tendo is an impressive woman. It is a quick read, something you can easily finish in a weekend, so it is worth your time.
December 14, 2008
hidup adalah pilihan. begitu yang sering disebut. kebetulan belakangan saya juga sedang sering ditemani lantunan beberapa lagu dari album james blunt yang salah satunya menyebut sedikit soal itu. ...give me reason but don't give me choice.. cause i'll just make the same mistake...
meracau. tapi sudah bukan hal aneh kalau kita kerap kali dapat mengambil pilihan yang salah. terlepas dari benar salahnya pilihan itu sendiri, saya menganggap 'reasons', pertimbangan, dibalik tiap keputusan akan satu pilihan, jadi suatu hal yang pada akhirnya mematangkan seseorang. terlebih jika keluar dari kejujuran dalam diri si pembuat pilihan itu sendiri. tak peduli seburuk apapun pertimbangannya, jika sudah jujur terhadap dirinya sendiri, dia sudah mengambil bagiannya untuk melangkah 'lebih'. apa kejujuran seseorang dapat dihakimi sebagai sesuatu yang salah atau benar?
bagi saya itu seperti belajar menguji 'kedalaman', prinsip, dan seluruh 'intisari' diri sendiri melalui pertimbangan yang dihasilkan, keputusan yang dibuat, kemudian menjalani konsekuensinya, apapun hasilnya. terlebih saat dihadapkan ke banyak situasi yang diluar kendali atau bahkan jika terdesak dalam kondisi tak punya pilihan. lalu jika ternyata salah? saya rasa di persimpangan jalan berikutnya akan tetap ditemukan pilihan yang kembali harus dibuat. dengan pertimbangan yang sudah lebih matang daripada yang ditemukan di beberapa persimpangan sebelumnya. pada akhirnya, saya tidak akan pernah berhenti memilih.
jadi, kenapa buku ini saya beri rating empat? semata karena alasan personal yang tak dapat saya beberkan disini, ketika menemukan beberapa bagian dari kisah yang ditulis di buku ini, mengingatkan saya akan hidup sendiri. seperti cermin memoar rasanya.
ah. mel jadi mellow. saya memilih jadi mel lagi saja.
meracau. tapi sudah bukan hal aneh kalau kita kerap kali dapat mengambil pilihan yang salah. terlepas dari benar salahnya pilihan itu sendiri, saya menganggap 'reasons', pertimbangan, dibalik tiap keputusan akan satu pilihan, jadi suatu hal yang pada akhirnya mematangkan seseorang. terlebih jika keluar dari kejujuran dalam diri si pembuat pilihan itu sendiri. tak peduli seburuk apapun pertimbangannya, jika sudah jujur terhadap dirinya sendiri, dia sudah mengambil bagiannya untuk melangkah 'lebih'. apa kejujuran seseorang dapat dihakimi sebagai sesuatu yang salah atau benar?
bagi saya itu seperti belajar menguji 'kedalaman', prinsip, dan seluruh 'intisari' diri sendiri melalui pertimbangan yang dihasilkan, keputusan yang dibuat, kemudian menjalani konsekuensinya, apapun hasilnya. terlebih saat dihadapkan ke banyak situasi yang diluar kendali atau bahkan jika terdesak dalam kondisi tak punya pilihan. lalu jika ternyata salah? saya rasa di persimpangan jalan berikutnya akan tetap ditemukan pilihan yang kembali harus dibuat. dengan pertimbangan yang sudah lebih matang daripada yang ditemukan di beberapa persimpangan sebelumnya. pada akhirnya, saya tidak akan pernah berhenti memilih.
jadi, kenapa buku ini saya beri rating empat? semata karena alasan personal yang tak dapat saya beberkan disini, ketika menemukan beberapa bagian dari kisah yang ditulis di buku ini, mengingatkan saya akan hidup sendiri. seperti cermin memoar rasanya.
ah. mel jadi mellow. saya memilih jadi mel lagi saja.
July 19, 2025
Porusza temat yakuzy nie tak bardzo jak się spodziewałem. Jest zarówno o ostracyzmie, wejścia młodej dziewczynki w drogę buntowniczki, o przemocy, mocnych narkotykach, przywiązywaniu do niewłaściwych ludzi, trudnościach życia, stracie, jak i o miłości do rodziny i bliskich, i dążeniu do wyjścia z życiowego dołka. Jest to brudna, zatrważająca zarazem ciepła i wzruszająca książka. Warta uwagi
January 14, 2023
Kenapa orang memutuskan jadi yakuza? Pilihan hidup yang berat. Tidak hanya bagi dirinya sendiri, melainkan juga bagi anak-anak mereka.
Shouko Tendou adalah anak seorang kepala geng yakuza. Saat ia kecil, hidupnya makmur. Tapi jangan sangka ia ditakuti karena merupakan anak yakuza. Para tetangga terus menggunjingkan keluarganya. Saat Shouko bermain di halaman rumah, seorang wanita tiba-tiba datang dan mengatakan padanya bahwa kakak laki-lakinya, Daiki, bukan anak ayahnya. Apa urusannya coba mengatakan hal seperti itu pada anak-anak? Di sekolah, Shouko ditindas. Sepatunya dimasukkan ke tungku dan tiap piket kelas, hanya dia yang harus membersihkan kelas. Shouko menghadapinya seorang diri. Ia tidak pernah bercerita pada orangtuanya dan tidak pernah bolos sekolah. Ia memutuskan tidak peduli pada semua penindasan itu.
Saat kelas 4 SD, ia nyaris diperkosa oleh Mizuguchi, bawahan ayahnya. Itu pun tidak ia ceritakan pada orangtuanya. Mizuguchi lalu ditangkap polisi karena suatu kasus.
Di usianya yang 12 tahun, ia berkenalan dengan kehidupan malam karena diajak kakaknya, Maki. Saat SMP ia menjadi yanki dan mengecat rambut. Dandanannya sebagai yanki membuat anak-anak lain takut dan tidak berani mengerjainya. Kurasa hidup menjadi yanki adalah cara Shouko melindungi dirinya sendiri karena saat masih jadi anak baik, ia justru ditindas. Di geng yanki itulah Shouko mulai mengisap thinner bersama teman-temannya. Dan itu meningkat jadi menggunakan ganja.
Suatu ketika Shouko ditangkap polisi. Ia tidak membawa thinner tapi dalam laporan polisi ditulis ia membawa thinner. Dia hanya membawa aspirin, tapi polisi mengatakan di pengadilan bahwa ia membawa obat-obatan terlarang. Siapa bilang orang Jepang pasti jujur? Akhirnya Shouko dimasukkan ke sekolah anak nakal. Gurunya sampai bingung karena selama di sana Shouko mengerjakan tugasnya dengan baik dan tak ambil pusing pada yang tidak mengerjakan tugasnya. Pada dasarnya Shouko orang yang bertanggung jawab, tapi lingkungan yang ada di sekelilingnya salah. Setelah masa hukumannya selesai ia kembali pada gengnya.
Gara-gara seorang laki-laki bernama Nakauchi yang tiba-tiba masuk ke markas geng, Shouko terpaksa mengonsumsi amfetamin dan jadi ketagihan. Di saat yang sama, keluarganya bangkrut dan terlilit utang karena ayahnya menjadi penjamin bagi kenalannya. Bunga yang ditimpakan ke keluarganya benar-benar mencekik: kenaikan 10 persen dalam sepuluh hari, lalu 50 persen dalam sepuluh hari. Edan. Gara-gara kejadian itu, barang-barang dan rumahnya disita dan ayahnya mundur dari geng yakuza.
Seorang lelaki yang mengaku memberikan utang bagi ayahnya tiba-tiba mendekatinya. Namanya Maejima. Ia juga yakuza. Ia memperkosa Shouko dan menjadikan gadis itu sebagai simpanannya untuk membayar utang-utang ayahnya. Tapi aku menangkap kesan bahwa Maejima berbohong dan kalaupun dia memberi hutang, jumlahnya tak sampai triliunan seperti pengakuannya. Ia hanya menakut-nakuti Shouko yang masih muda. Gara-gara dia Shouko makin terjerumus ke dalam dunia narkoba karena tiap berhubungan seks, Shouko baru bisa terangsang jika disuntik amfetamin. Apa yang terjadi pada Shouko benar-benar digambarkan secara menyakitkan. Maejima tak segan menyiksa dan melecehkan Shouko.
Di saat yang sama, Shouko juga menjadi simpanan bagi seorang lelaki beristri bernama Shin. Dia membelikan Shouko apartemen sehingga untuk sementara gadis itu bisa bebas dari Maejima. Tapi hal itu tak lama. Maejima menemukannya dan menyiksanya lagi. Meski hidupnya sudah rusak, Shouko masih punya sedikit kewarasan. Ia putus dari Shin begitu laki-laki itu udah punya anak.
Maejima kemudian mati karena infeksi paru-paru. Barulah Shouko bisa bebas. Seorang diri ia berusaha lepas dari ketergantungan narkoba.
Untuk menghidupi dirinya, Shouko masuk ke dunia hostess. Dia berkenalan dengan Ito, lelaki yakuza juga. Ito awalnya saja terlihat baik dan begitu lembut saat merawat Shouko yang sedang sakit, tapi ia sama brengseknya dengan Maejima. Shouko kembali terperangkap dalam lingkaran kekerasan seksual. Anehnya setiap Ito minta maaf karena sudah menghajarnya, Shouko selalu luluh dan memaafkannya.
Hidup Shouko baru lebih tenang setelah ia bertemu Takamizu yang juga anggota yakuza. Taka menikahi Shouko. Tapi sebelum mereka menikah, Ito datang dan menghajar serta memerkosa Shouko. Taka lalu menghajar Ito dan keluar dari geng yakuza. Jari kelingkingnya dipotong sebagai konsekuensi.
Meski akhirnya bisa bersama orang yang ia cintai dan mencintainya, hidup Shouko tak langsung tenang begitu saja. Kali ini masalah datang dari Maki, kakaknya yang menikahi anak orang kaya pengangguran dan penjudi bernama Itchan. Gara-gara Itchan Shouko dan Taka jadi harus menanggung utang-utang Maki dan suaminya. Sekeras apa pun mereka bekerja, hasilnya tak pernah cukup. Shouko mulai menderita depresi dan harus minum obat penenang.
Saat ginjalnya bermasalah dan ia divonis harus cuci darah, Shouko nekad bunuh diri dengan menenggak 100 pil obat penenang. Jantungnya berkali-kali berhenti selama perjalanan menuju ruang operasi. Ajaibnya ia selamat, dan otaknya tidak terkena kerusakan permanen yang bisa menyebabkan ia lumpuh seperti prediksi dokter sebelumnya.
Sampai akhirnya ibu Shouko meninggal kena stroke, dan ayahnya meninggal kena kanker. Sebelum ayahnya meninggal, bisa-bisanya Itchan dan orangtuanya datang untuk meminjam uang. Shouko sampai histeris saat ketiga orang itu berani menampakkan muka di tempat upacara pemakaman. Pada akhirnya Maki sadar dan menceraikan Itchan. Ia kemudian mencari pekerjaan sebagai hostess dan menjalani hidup sebagai ibu tunggal.
Membaca buku ini membuat perasaanku jadi campur aduk. Dunia yang dijalani Shouko sejak dia kecil benar-benar dunia yang berbeda dan ratusan kali lipat lebih kelam. Miris melihatnya terus terjebak dari satu hubungan toksik ke satu hubungan toksik lainnya. Dia begitu muda. Tak punya role model yang benar-benar pas karena dia anak yakuza. Ayahnya saja sering pulang dalam kondisi mabuk bersama para hostess. Dan jika sedang mabuk ia suka marah-marah, menghancurkan barang, lalu lupa apa saja yang diperbuatnya begitu sadar. Meski begitu, ketika ayahnya sudah lemah dan sakit-sakitan, Shouko tetap berusaha baik pada ayahnya,
Di sisi lain aku kagum pada Shouko yang masih bisa mempertahankan sikap jujur, seperti saat ia menemukan dompet berisi 180 ribu yen di dekat vending machine rumah sakit. Meski tadinya tergoda untuk memiliki uang itu, ia memilih mengembalikannya ke ruangan perawat, bahkan menolak hadiah uang 30 ribu yen yang diberikan oleh sang pasien pemilik dompet. Sampai akhir pun dia tetap berusaha melindungi Maki dari utang-utang Itchan meski berarti merelakan energi hidupnya diisap. Hidupnya berantakan, tapi ia masih punya hati. Ketika Maki dan Itchan tidak membayar sewa apartemen, ia segera melunasinya karena tak mau tagihannya sampai ke keluarga Shin (apartemen itu tadinya hadiah untuknya dari Shin) dan membuat istri Shin tahu soal keberadaannya. Dia juga pekerja keras dan memiliki kemauan kuat untuk memperbaiki hidupnya. Berat bisa bangkit jika hidupnya sudah terpuruk seperti dirinya. Tapi dia bisa. Dan untuk itu aku benar-benar merasa salut dengan hati gemetar.
Segala kepahitan hidupnya ia tuangkan ke dalam tulisan yang menyentuh. Memperlihatkan sisi lain kehidupan yakuza dilihat dari sudut pandangnya sebagai putri kepala geng. Aku penasaran apakah Shouko punya tulisan lain selain ini. Pada profilnya di buku, ditulis bahwa kini ia bekerja sebagai penulis lepas. Dicari di internet pun yang keluar adalah tentang Yakuza Moon. Dia punya blog atau media sosial nggak, ya?
Dari beberapa situs di internet aku menemukan fotonya sedang menggendong seorang anak perempuan. Postingan di Forum Kaskus menulis bahwa ia memiliki seorang putri dengan seorang fotografer tapi dia kini menjadi ibu tunggal. Postingan ini juga menulis bahwa Shoko menulis buku lanjutan dari Yakuza Moon. Judulnya Full Moon Baby.
Satu lagi yang berkesan dari buku ini. Shouko dengan detail menggambarkan sensasi menyeramkan yang dialami para pecandu narkoba ketika sedang sakaw. Halusinasi panca indranya digambarkan cukup detail. Seperti perasaan kulit yang seperti dirambati banyak serangga, sampai melihat dirinya seolah menjadi pemeran dalam video porno. Dia juga menggambarkan sensasi yang dirasakan oleh orang yang sekujur tubuhnya baru saja ditato. Sungguh sebuah pembelajaran yang langka.
Omong-omong karena buku ini aku baru tahu kalau A.S. Laksana itu juga penerjemah. Apa dia menguasai bahasa Jepang juga, ya? Atau dia menerjemahkannya dari versi Inggris? Hmm....
Beberapa situs yang memuat cerita tentang Shouko. Ternyata di tahun 2013, dia pernah datang ke Jakarta, loh. Aku beneran penasaran sama tulisan-tulisan dia selanjutnya.
https://www.kaskus.co.id/thread/5309e...
http://aghamisme.blogspot.com/2013/11...
https://www.kompas.com/global/read/20...
https://www.merdeka.com/peristiwa/men...
Shouko Tendou adalah anak seorang kepala geng yakuza. Saat ia kecil, hidupnya makmur. Tapi jangan sangka ia ditakuti karena merupakan anak yakuza. Para tetangga terus menggunjingkan keluarganya. Saat Shouko bermain di halaman rumah, seorang wanita tiba-tiba datang dan mengatakan padanya bahwa kakak laki-lakinya, Daiki, bukan anak ayahnya. Apa urusannya coba mengatakan hal seperti itu pada anak-anak? Di sekolah, Shouko ditindas. Sepatunya dimasukkan ke tungku dan tiap piket kelas, hanya dia yang harus membersihkan kelas. Shouko menghadapinya seorang diri. Ia tidak pernah bercerita pada orangtuanya dan tidak pernah bolos sekolah. Ia memutuskan tidak peduli pada semua penindasan itu.
Saat kelas 4 SD, ia nyaris diperkosa oleh Mizuguchi, bawahan ayahnya. Itu pun tidak ia ceritakan pada orangtuanya. Mizuguchi lalu ditangkap polisi karena suatu kasus.
Di usianya yang 12 tahun, ia berkenalan dengan kehidupan malam karena diajak kakaknya, Maki. Saat SMP ia menjadi yanki dan mengecat rambut. Dandanannya sebagai yanki membuat anak-anak lain takut dan tidak berani mengerjainya. Kurasa hidup menjadi yanki adalah cara Shouko melindungi dirinya sendiri karena saat masih jadi anak baik, ia justru ditindas. Di geng yanki itulah Shouko mulai mengisap thinner bersama teman-temannya. Dan itu meningkat jadi menggunakan ganja.
Suatu ketika Shouko ditangkap polisi. Ia tidak membawa thinner tapi dalam laporan polisi ditulis ia membawa thinner. Dia hanya membawa aspirin, tapi polisi mengatakan di pengadilan bahwa ia membawa obat-obatan terlarang. Siapa bilang orang Jepang pasti jujur? Akhirnya Shouko dimasukkan ke sekolah anak nakal. Gurunya sampai bingung karena selama di sana Shouko mengerjakan tugasnya dengan baik dan tak ambil pusing pada yang tidak mengerjakan tugasnya. Pada dasarnya Shouko orang yang bertanggung jawab, tapi lingkungan yang ada di sekelilingnya salah. Setelah masa hukumannya selesai ia kembali pada gengnya.
Gara-gara seorang laki-laki bernama Nakauchi yang tiba-tiba masuk ke markas geng, Shouko terpaksa mengonsumsi amfetamin dan jadi ketagihan. Di saat yang sama, keluarganya bangkrut dan terlilit utang karena ayahnya menjadi penjamin bagi kenalannya. Bunga yang ditimpakan ke keluarganya benar-benar mencekik: kenaikan 10 persen dalam sepuluh hari, lalu 50 persen dalam sepuluh hari. Edan. Gara-gara kejadian itu, barang-barang dan rumahnya disita dan ayahnya mundur dari geng yakuza.
Seorang lelaki yang mengaku memberikan utang bagi ayahnya tiba-tiba mendekatinya. Namanya Maejima. Ia juga yakuza. Ia memperkosa Shouko dan menjadikan gadis itu sebagai simpanannya untuk membayar utang-utang ayahnya. Tapi aku menangkap kesan bahwa Maejima berbohong dan kalaupun dia memberi hutang, jumlahnya tak sampai triliunan seperti pengakuannya. Ia hanya menakut-nakuti Shouko yang masih muda. Gara-gara dia Shouko makin terjerumus ke dalam dunia narkoba karena tiap berhubungan seks, Shouko baru bisa terangsang jika disuntik amfetamin. Apa yang terjadi pada Shouko benar-benar digambarkan secara menyakitkan. Maejima tak segan menyiksa dan melecehkan Shouko.
Di saat yang sama, Shouko juga menjadi simpanan bagi seorang lelaki beristri bernama Shin. Dia membelikan Shouko apartemen sehingga untuk sementara gadis itu bisa bebas dari Maejima. Tapi hal itu tak lama. Maejima menemukannya dan menyiksanya lagi. Meski hidupnya sudah rusak, Shouko masih punya sedikit kewarasan. Ia putus dari Shin begitu laki-laki itu udah punya anak.
Maejima kemudian mati karena infeksi paru-paru. Barulah Shouko bisa bebas. Seorang diri ia berusaha lepas dari ketergantungan narkoba.
Untuk menghidupi dirinya, Shouko masuk ke dunia hostess. Dia berkenalan dengan Ito, lelaki yakuza juga. Ito awalnya saja terlihat baik dan begitu lembut saat merawat Shouko yang sedang sakit, tapi ia sama brengseknya dengan Maejima. Shouko kembali terperangkap dalam lingkaran kekerasan seksual. Anehnya setiap Ito minta maaf karena sudah menghajarnya, Shouko selalu luluh dan memaafkannya.
Hidup Shouko baru lebih tenang setelah ia bertemu Takamizu yang juga anggota yakuza. Taka menikahi Shouko. Tapi sebelum mereka menikah, Ito datang dan menghajar serta memerkosa Shouko. Taka lalu menghajar Ito dan keluar dari geng yakuza. Jari kelingkingnya dipotong sebagai konsekuensi.
Meski akhirnya bisa bersama orang yang ia cintai dan mencintainya, hidup Shouko tak langsung tenang begitu saja. Kali ini masalah datang dari Maki, kakaknya yang menikahi anak orang kaya pengangguran dan penjudi bernama Itchan. Gara-gara Itchan Shouko dan Taka jadi harus menanggung utang-utang Maki dan suaminya. Sekeras apa pun mereka bekerja, hasilnya tak pernah cukup. Shouko mulai menderita depresi dan harus minum obat penenang.
Saat ginjalnya bermasalah dan ia divonis harus cuci darah, Shouko nekad bunuh diri dengan menenggak 100 pil obat penenang. Jantungnya berkali-kali berhenti selama perjalanan menuju ruang operasi. Ajaibnya ia selamat, dan otaknya tidak terkena kerusakan permanen yang bisa menyebabkan ia lumpuh seperti prediksi dokter sebelumnya.
Sampai akhirnya ibu Shouko meninggal kena stroke, dan ayahnya meninggal kena kanker. Sebelum ayahnya meninggal, bisa-bisanya Itchan dan orangtuanya datang untuk meminjam uang. Shouko sampai histeris saat ketiga orang itu berani menampakkan muka di tempat upacara pemakaman. Pada akhirnya Maki sadar dan menceraikan Itchan. Ia kemudian mencari pekerjaan sebagai hostess dan menjalani hidup sebagai ibu tunggal.
Membaca buku ini membuat perasaanku jadi campur aduk. Dunia yang dijalani Shouko sejak dia kecil benar-benar dunia yang berbeda dan ratusan kali lipat lebih kelam. Miris melihatnya terus terjebak dari satu hubungan toksik ke satu hubungan toksik lainnya. Dia begitu muda. Tak punya role model yang benar-benar pas karena dia anak yakuza. Ayahnya saja sering pulang dalam kondisi mabuk bersama para hostess. Dan jika sedang mabuk ia suka marah-marah, menghancurkan barang, lalu lupa apa saja yang diperbuatnya begitu sadar. Meski begitu, ketika ayahnya sudah lemah dan sakit-sakitan, Shouko tetap berusaha baik pada ayahnya,
Di sisi lain aku kagum pada Shouko yang masih bisa mempertahankan sikap jujur, seperti saat ia menemukan dompet berisi 180 ribu yen di dekat vending machine rumah sakit. Meski tadinya tergoda untuk memiliki uang itu, ia memilih mengembalikannya ke ruangan perawat, bahkan menolak hadiah uang 30 ribu yen yang diberikan oleh sang pasien pemilik dompet. Sampai akhir pun dia tetap berusaha melindungi Maki dari utang-utang Itchan meski berarti merelakan energi hidupnya diisap. Hidupnya berantakan, tapi ia masih punya hati. Ketika Maki dan Itchan tidak membayar sewa apartemen, ia segera melunasinya karena tak mau tagihannya sampai ke keluarga Shin (apartemen itu tadinya hadiah untuknya dari Shin) dan membuat istri Shin tahu soal keberadaannya. Dia juga pekerja keras dan memiliki kemauan kuat untuk memperbaiki hidupnya. Berat bisa bangkit jika hidupnya sudah terpuruk seperti dirinya. Tapi dia bisa. Dan untuk itu aku benar-benar merasa salut dengan hati gemetar.
Segala kepahitan hidupnya ia tuangkan ke dalam tulisan yang menyentuh. Memperlihatkan sisi lain kehidupan yakuza dilihat dari sudut pandangnya sebagai putri kepala geng. Aku penasaran apakah Shouko punya tulisan lain selain ini. Pada profilnya di buku, ditulis bahwa kini ia bekerja sebagai penulis lepas. Dicari di internet pun yang keluar adalah tentang Yakuza Moon. Dia punya blog atau media sosial nggak, ya?
Dari beberapa situs di internet aku menemukan fotonya sedang menggendong seorang anak perempuan. Postingan di Forum Kaskus menulis bahwa ia memiliki seorang putri dengan seorang fotografer tapi dia kini menjadi ibu tunggal. Postingan ini juga menulis bahwa Shoko menulis buku lanjutan dari Yakuza Moon. Judulnya Full Moon Baby.
Satu lagi yang berkesan dari buku ini. Shouko dengan detail menggambarkan sensasi menyeramkan yang dialami para pecandu narkoba ketika sedang sakaw. Halusinasi panca indranya digambarkan cukup detail. Seperti perasaan kulit yang seperti dirambati banyak serangga, sampai melihat dirinya seolah menjadi pemeran dalam video porno. Dia juga menggambarkan sensasi yang dirasakan oleh orang yang sekujur tubuhnya baru saja ditato. Sungguh sebuah pembelajaran yang langka.
Omong-omong karena buku ini aku baru tahu kalau A.S. Laksana itu juga penerjemah. Apa dia menguasai bahasa Jepang juga, ya? Atau dia menerjemahkannya dari versi Inggris? Hmm....
Beberapa situs yang memuat cerita tentang Shouko. Ternyata di tahun 2013, dia pernah datang ke Jakarta, loh. Aku beneran penasaran sama tulisan-tulisan dia selanjutnya.
https://www.kaskus.co.id/thread/5309e...
http://aghamisme.blogspot.com/2013/11...
https://www.kompas.com/global/read/20...
https://www.merdeka.com/peristiwa/men...
September 27, 2020
Heartbreaking.
April 27, 2012
A Book Review: Yakuza Moon: Memoirs of a Gangster’s Daughter
By
Imari Jade
Overview:
Born to a wealthy and powerful yakuza boss, Shoko Tendo lived the early years of her life in luxury. However, when she was six, everything changed: her father was jailed, and the family fell into debt. Bullied by her classmates because of her father's activities, and terrorized at home by her father, who became a drunken, violent monster after his release from prison, Tendo rebelled. As a teenager she became a drug addict and a member of a girl gang. At the age of 15 she spent eight months in a juvenile detention center after getting into a fight with another gang.
During Japan's bubble economy of the eighties, Tendo worked as a bar hostess, attracting many rich and loyal customers, and earning money to help her family out of debt. But there were also abusive clients, one of whom beat her so badly that her face was left permanently scarred. Her mother died, plunging Tendo into a depression so deep that she tried to commit suicide.
Somehow, Tendo overcame these tough times. A turning point was getting a full-body tattoo with a design centered on a geisha with a dagger in her mouth, an act that empowered her to change her life. She quit her job as a hostess. On her last day at work, she looked up at the full moon, which became a symbol of her struggle to become whole, and the title of the book she wrote as an epitaph for herself and her family.
The paperback edition of Yakuza Moon features 16-pages of never-before-seen photos of Tendos youth, family, and tattoos, as well as a new foreword by the author, describing her life since the book was first published four years ago.
Review:
Many people would think it strange that I would put such a review on a Young Adult site. No I haven’t lost my mind. This is exactly where this review should be. If there was ever anything written to scare the heck out of young people into doing and living their lives right, this is the book.
Yakuza Moon, The Memoirs of a Gangster’s Daughter was written by Shoko Tendo and from the title I was prepared to blame everything on the father. And then I read the book. The heroine of the story did everything wrong from day one and couldn’t blame her father’s job or lifestyle for her actions. What happens to her is what normally happens to rebellious kids who want to grow up fast and who make bad decisions. I feel this book should be included in junior high and senior high school libraries and be added to a must read list of books for pre-teens and teenagers in school. I’ll also add that parents should read the book too, because even though it was Shoko’s decision to do the things she did, I feel her father was partially responsible for putting his happiness before his children at a time where there were impressionable and needed guidance.
I found the story well written, graphic and truthful. The author did not try to sugarcoat anything that happened to her, nor did she blame her father for her downward spiral. Throughout the book she loved her father unconditionally even though he was a notorious yakuza boss who through his selfishness sent the family into financial despair they never recovered from. I felt sorry for Shoko through most of the story, but after a while you begin to wonder if she was just one of those people who could have changed the outcome of a lot of things that happened to her, but chose not to. I won’t give away any of the story, because I hate when reviewers do this, but I will tell young women, if one man puts his hand on you and brutalizes you, don’t go out and find another one that will do the same thing, And don’t stay with him after he kicks your butt because you love him. Love does not hurt and it sure doesn’t put you in a hospital.
Overall I thought it was a very good book. I would read it again and recommend it.
Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/yakuz...
Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Yakuza-Moon-Mem...
Imari Jade
By
Imari Jade
Overview:
Born to a wealthy and powerful yakuza boss, Shoko Tendo lived the early years of her life in luxury. However, when she was six, everything changed: her father was jailed, and the family fell into debt. Bullied by her classmates because of her father's activities, and terrorized at home by her father, who became a drunken, violent monster after his release from prison, Tendo rebelled. As a teenager she became a drug addict and a member of a girl gang. At the age of 15 she spent eight months in a juvenile detention center after getting into a fight with another gang.
During Japan's bubble economy of the eighties, Tendo worked as a bar hostess, attracting many rich and loyal customers, and earning money to help her family out of debt. But there were also abusive clients, one of whom beat her so badly that her face was left permanently scarred. Her mother died, plunging Tendo into a depression so deep that she tried to commit suicide.
Somehow, Tendo overcame these tough times. A turning point was getting a full-body tattoo with a design centered on a geisha with a dagger in her mouth, an act that empowered her to change her life. She quit her job as a hostess. On her last day at work, she looked up at the full moon, which became a symbol of her struggle to become whole, and the title of the book she wrote as an epitaph for herself and her family.
The paperback edition of Yakuza Moon features 16-pages of never-before-seen photos of Tendos youth, family, and tattoos, as well as a new foreword by the author, describing her life since the book was first published four years ago.
Review:
Many people would think it strange that I would put such a review on a Young Adult site. No I haven’t lost my mind. This is exactly where this review should be. If there was ever anything written to scare the heck out of young people into doing and living their lives right, this is the book.
Yakuza Moon, The Memoirs of a Gangster’s Daughter was written by Shoko Tendo and from the title I was prepared to blame everything on the father. And then I read the book. The heroine of the story did everything wrong from day one and couldn’t blame her father’s job or lifestyle for her actions. What happens to her is what normally happens to rebellious kids who want to grow up fast and who make bad decisions. I feel this book should be included in junior high and senior high school libraries and be added to a must read list of books for pre-teens and teenagers in school. I’ll also add that parents should read the book too, because even though it was Shoko’s decision to do the things she did, I feel her father was partially responsible for putting his happiness before his children at a time where there were impressionable and needed guidance.
I found the story well written, graphic and truthful. The author did not try to sugarcoat anything that happened to her, nor did she blame her father for her downward spiral. Throughout the book she loved her father unconditionally even though he was a notorious yakuza boss who through his selfishness sent the family into financial despair they never recovered from. I felt sorry for Shoko through most of the story, but after a while you begin to wonder if she was just one of those people who could have changed the outcome of a lot of things that happened to her, but chose not to. I won’t give away any of the story, because I hate when reviewers do this, but I will tell young women, if one man puts his hand on you and brutalizes you, don’t go out and find another one that will do the same thing, And don’t stay with him after he kicks your butt because you love him. Love does not hurt and it sure doesn’t put you in a hospital.
Overall I thought it was a very good book. I would read it again and recommend it.
Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/yakuz...
Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Yakuza-Moon-Mem...
Imari Jade
February 11, 2011
This was on my e-book wish list for a few months. The synopsis interested me: a girl growing up with a Yakuza Boss Father and falling into the whole drug scene, loosing everything and coming out a better person in the end.
I gave in and decided to read it yesterday. It was very short, only I think 193 pages, a few pages are pictures. I read it in a few hours.
Though Yakuza is in the title don't expect to read a story regarding the ends and outs of the real Japanese Yakuza. If you want that, I'd recommend Manabu Miyazaki's autobiography, Toppamono. I haven't read it yet but it promises to give a more detailed account of the real Yakuza through the eyes of someone who spent years in the fold.
Yakuza Moon, does show it's readers, in often raw detail, what it's like for a young girl growing up surrounded by gang violence, drug abuse and misogyny. Shoko Tendo, the author and mostly, victim, in her tale, in turns graphically tells of her experiences--"huffing" thinner, being near-raped or raped outright--and at the same time,she skims quickly over whole years of her life. I feel she must have either, thought those years peaceful and uninteresting to the potential reader, or too secret and personal to write about.
In my opinion if you are going to write an autobiography, and claim that it tells some of the worst moments in the life, laying it bare for the world to see, then you should do just that. Censoring yourself does not make a good autobiography. I often would read anecdotes of her life and think,"Why?"
In the end, the books was interesting and at times I found myself not liking Shoko for living up to the cultural and familial expectations, ie, drug use, crime, and getting the crap beat out of her by most of the men in her life. I would have to step back and think that yes, if I was in the those circumstances; born and raised in it, then I might not have been so different.
Shoko, claims that when she finally sees the light; that she doesn't need to be a man's punching bag and that she's worthy of the good things in life, that a full body tattoo (a pretty cool one actually) is her way of embracing and accepting where she comes from, without being a doormat any longer.
I don't totally buy it but I'm not her. There is just a lot of deep and really not so deep, psychological reasons for her actions and it's obviously she doesn't dwell on it and would rather live a rather superficial existance. At least, that's how she presents it to the reader. At one point though, I did feel sorry for her and could relate a great deal, when her Mother dies.
Would I recommend this book? I would, as a stepping stone, into more detailed readings of Yakuza and Crime life in Japan. I wouldn't recommend it as a straight out biography about a fascinating person. It just doesn't quite reach that point.
I gave in and decided to read it yesterday. It was very short, only I think 193 pages, a few pages are pictures. I read it in a few hours.
Though Yakuza is in the title don't expect to read a story regarding the ends and outs of the real Japanese Yakuza. If you want that, I'd recommend Manabu Miyazaki's autobiography, Toppamono. I haven't read it yet but it promises to give a more detailed account of the real Yakuza through the eyes of someone who spent years in the fold.
Yakuza Moon, does show it's readers, in often raw detail, what it's like for a young girl growing up surrounded by gang violence, drug abuse and misogyny. Shoko Tendo, the author and mostly, victim, in her tale, in turns graphically tells of her experiences--"huffing" thinner, being near-raped or raped outright--and at the same time,she skims quickly over whole years of her life. I feel she must have either, thought those years peaceful and uninteresting to the potential reader, or too secret and personal to write about.
In my opinion if you are going to write an autobiography, and claim that it tells some of the worst moments in the life, laying it bare for the world to see, then you should do just that. Censoring yourself does not make a good autobiography. I often would read anecdotes of her life and think,"Why?"
In the end, the books was interesting and at times I found myself not liking Shoko for living up to the cultural and familial expectations, ie, drug use, crime, and getting the crap beat out of her by most of the men in her life. I would have to step back and think that yes, if I was in the those circumstances; born and raised in it, then I might not have been so different.
Shoko, claims that when she finally sees the light; that she doesn't need to be a man's punching bag and that she's worthy of the good things in life, that a full body tattoo (a pretty cool one actually) is her way of embracing and accepting where she comes from, without being a doormat any longer.
I don't totally buy it but I'm not her. There is just a lot of deep and really not so deep, psychological reasons for her actions and it's obviously she doesn't dwell on it and would rather live a rather superficial existance. At least, that's how she presents it to the reader. At one point though, I did feel sorry for her and could relate a great deal, when her Mother dies.
Would I recommend this book? I would, as a stepping stone, into more detailed readings of Yakuza and Crime life in Japan. I wouldn't recommend it as a straight out biography about a fascinating person. It just doesn't quite reach that point.
December 1, 2013
Yakuza Moon/Shoko Tendo 2006
I'm going to err on the side of generosity and give this pretty short, but punchy 3.6 or 3.7 work the full 4.0. to some degree this is a question of rarity of experience, and then the whole "daring bad" rather than "boring good" tradeoff that I explore in the LADY AND THE MONK entry by Pico Iyer. finally if this crsed bluetooth keyboard hopefully doesn't completely joke out.... hmmm... that would be good
so this is the sort of thing. this isn't absolute perfection. Junichiro Sagao's memoirs of a Yakuza were far better, covering sweeps of political history, and eventually being plagrized by bob dylan of all people, and in comparison, Tendo's work seems a bit more insipid. we deal with submissive sexuality, and then there are moments of lyricism, but in the flood of interchangeable yakuza toughs who are our lovers, we don't get some of the good stuff that comes with a boy yakuza-- the actual battles or wars that break out, the real cleverly cooked up criminality, etc.
[blog note here: Japan quiet, quiescent, not so hyped up and jazzed out.... some minor earthquakes/rumbles but nothing huge in the news. the chinese announce an air defense ID zone but nobody cares]
this is a work for people interested in the japanese mafia or who take an interest in female criminality. i'm not sure it's absolutely a must read for general readers, but it does have its moments.
I'm going to err on the side of generosity and give this pretty short, but punchy 3.6 or 3.7 work the full 4.0. to some degree this is a question of rarity of experience, and then the whole "daring bad" rather than "boring good" tradeoff that I explore in the LADY AND THE MONK entry by Pico Iyer. finally if this crsed bluetooth keyboard hopefully doesn't completely joke out.... hmmm... that would be good
so this is the sort of thing. this isn't absolute perfection. Junichiro Sagao's memoirs of a Yakuza were far better, covering sweeps of political history, and eventually being plagrized by bob dylan of all people, and in comparison, Tendo's work seems a bit more insipid. we deal with submissive sexuality, and then there are moments of lyricism, but in the flood of interchangeable yakuza toughs who are our lovers, we don't get some of the good stuff that comes with a boy yakuza-- the actual battles or wars that break out, the real cleverly cooked up criminality, etc.
[blog note here: Japan quiet, quiescent, not so hyped up and jazzed out.... some minor earthquakes/rumbles but nothing huge in the news. the chinese announce an air defense ID zone but nobody cares]
this is a work for people interested in the japanese mafia or who take an interest in female criminality. i'm not sure it's absolutely a must read for general readers, but it does have its moments.
December 9, 2008
Kejujuran, itulah yang dipilih Shoko Tendo untuk melukiskan kisah hidupnya melalui buku ini. Justru dengan kejujuran lah, membuat buku ini begitu mudah untuk dicerna dan dipahami. Bahkan di bagian-bagian yang vulgar atau penuh dengan adegan kekerasan, buku ini tetap seru untuk dinikmati.
Gaya bercerita Tendo-san yang lugas dan apa adanya, membuat kita menarik diri untuk ikut mengalami peristiwa demi peristiwa yang dialami oleh Shoko. Tulisannya yang sederhana dan apa adanya ini, tidak membuat kita merasa iba terhadap sosok Shoko yang berkali-kali ditimpa masalah yang sangat berat, namun membuat kita berdecak kagum atas usahanya yang berhasil keluar dari lilitan masalah, dan kembali bangkit untuk memulai mencari jalan baru.
Saya rasa disinilah letak kekuatan hidup, saat dimana kita jatuh, lalu bangkit dan menegakkan kepala lagi, untuk berjalan lagi mengawali hari-hari baru dalam hidup kita.
Gaya bercerita Tendo-san yang lugas dan apa adanya, membuat kita menarik diri untuk ikut mengalami peristiwa demi peristiwa yang dialami oleh Shoko. Tulisannya yang sederhana dan apa adanya ini, tidak membuat kita merasa iba terhadap sosok Shoko yang berkali-kali ditimpa masalah yang sangat berat, namun membuat kita berdecak kagum atas usahanya yang berhasil keluar dari lilitan masalah, dan kembali bangkit untuk memulai mencari jalan baru.
Saya rasa disinilah letak kekuatan hidup, saat dimana kita jatuh, lalu bangkit dan menegakkan kepala lagi, untuk berjalan lagi mengawali hari-hari baru dalam hidup kita.
April 11, 2009
As reflected in the title, this is a memoir of HER life so don't expect many details about Yakuza mobsters. This book is written in simple English about her experiences as a yanki, female delinquent and gang member. She had to deal with drug addiction, poverty, psychological and sexual abuse, miscarriage, attempted suicide and the deaths of her parents. It was a shocking revelation. It's heart-rending to know she suffered continuous abuse from yakuza men. Some of these men are terrifyingly scary. Seriously. The worst was Ito, one of her clients who became obsessed with her. His obsessive possessive irrational behaviour got so bad that he left her face permanently scarred. Anyway I'm glad to know that she has found her own path at last. Hope she'll live a better life with her photographer partner and 2-year old daughter. Conclusion: Not everyone will enjoy reading this book.
May 15, 2011
Personally I think this has barely anything to do with Yakuza.
Shoko is the daughter of a yakuza-boss, but I couldn't really conclude this from what she wrote about her father.
Just Seems to weak for me.
Tendo made some bad decisions in her life which brought her into problems.
In my opinion quite stupid decisions in drugs, bad boyfriends and this repeats a few times.
Tendo was looking for trouble, gets trouble and therefore this autobiography about her tough life.
Maybe a bitter review from me, about this book, but I expected more profundity.
Shoko is the daughter of a yakuza-boss, but I couldn't really conclude this from what she wrote about her father.
Just Seems to weak for me.
Tendo made some bad decisions in her life which brought her into problems.
In my opinion quite stupid decisions in drugs, bad boyfriends and this repeats a few times.
Tendo was looking for trouble, gets trouble and therefore this autobiography about her tough life.
Maybe a bitter review from me, about this book, but I expected more profundity.
August 17, 2014
I just remembered that I have read this book long long time ago before I even know there's goodreads. haha
I love this book. The true story about Yakuza and their lives told from Yakuza's daughter POV.
You'll see all the secrets bout Yakuza and will know how hard it is when your family is a Yakuza.
There are many heartbreaking moments but there's also heartwarming moment in this book.
If you curious about Yakuza in Japan then you should read this book.
I love this book. The true story about Yakuza and their lives told from Yakuza's daughter POV.
You'll see all the secrets bout Yakuza and will know how hard it is when your family is a Yakuza.
There are many heartbreaking moments but there's also heartwarming moment in this book.
If you curious about Yakuza in Japan then you should read this book.
January 28, 2024
**Trigger warning**
3.8/5
This book speaks a lot about the trauma Shoko went through in her life. If you are sensitive to the topics of addiction, assault, abuse, or suicide I recommend not reading this book.
In the end I rated the writing style and not the story as I don't believe in rating others real life stories. As this was translated I feel I lost some of the emotions and details I wanted in Shoko's story.
As for Shoko, the fact she was able to survive everything she has been through and still foumd a way to be happy and find peace gives me courage. This book was hard to get through due to how close some parts hit to home but I am happy I read it as it gave me strength. I hope Shoko is happy and has found the peace she so desperately deserves.
3.8/5
This book speaks a lot about the trauma Shoko went through in her life. If you are sensitive to the topics of addiction, assault, abuse, or suicide I recommend not reading this book.
In the end I rated the writing style and not the story as I don't believe in rating others real life stories. As this was translated I feel I lost some of the emotions and details I wanted in Shoko's story.
As for Shoko, the fact she was able to survive everything she has been through and still foumd a way to be happy and find peace gives me courage. This book was hard to get through due to how close some parts hit to home but I am happy I read it as it gave me strength. I hope Shoko is happy and has found the peace she so desperately deserves.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 11, 2024
Heartbreaking and utterly poignant !! I could not put it down !!! Not so much about the yakuza life , but rather personal struggles and family ties !! It was simple but straight to the point !! Im floored !!
February 26, 2018
Quick read. Loved it.
July 23, 2020
6/10
December 8, 2021
This book isn’t subtle, the abuse is disturbing and heartbreaking. You don’t learn much about the yakuza as an organisation, but you do get insights into the Japanese hostess world.
October 31, 2018
I actually read the English version of this, translated by Louise Heal. But for some reason I couldn't find it in goodreads. Very informative and heartbreaking.
August 2, 2020
Sedih pas mau ending
Displaying 1 - 30 of 435 reviews