Marriage at the Crossroads: Couples in Conversation About Discipleship, Gender Roles, Decision Making and Intimacy

by Aida Besancon Spencer, William David Spencer, Steven R. Tracy

Have you ever wondered how egalitarian and complementarian marriages play out differently on a day-to-day level? In this unique book Aída and William Spencer and Steve and Celestia Tracy, two couples from the differing perspectives of egalitarianism and soft complementarianism, share a constructive dialogue about marriage in practice. They cover a variety of topics like marriage discipleship, headship and submission, roles and decision-making, and intimacy in marriage. Also included are responses from three additional cultural North American Hispanic, Korean American and African American. Whether you're still working out your views on marriage or have found an approach you're comfortable with, this book will help you better understand the two perspectives on the ground level. While the theological starting points are different, you may be surprised to see the degree of convergence on practical issues as the dialogue unfolds.

Genres: Marriage, Christian Living

232 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2009

Reviews

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading a book for work still counts for my Goodreads challenge

[Dan White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read on many different levels. This book gives you a rich and multifaceted understanding of the marital experience of a complementary couple, and an egalitarian couple.

I read it with an open mind, I'd like to think. Wanting to understand my own perspective, as well as wanting to understand where friends or just some Christian couples come from, and how they got there. The book sets out various chapters with a perspective from each couple; The Spencers, and the Tracys. They cover often avoided topics such as; headship & submission, marriage roles and decision making, intimacy and gender roles and differences.

No matter which camp you consider yourself sitting, it is vital to understand each other from Genesis all the way to the new testament.

Aside from the viewpoints set out by the Tracys and the Spencer, I also had the privilege of getting a personal and raw insight into two foundationally the same, but structurally different marriages. The personal examples and exploration of actual martial life was so helpful to me. Currently, I am unmarried - so a lot of food for thought.

If I had to summarise a core theme that stood out to me, I'd point out the similarities and shared principles that both couples agreed on. It was so clear that marriage can take different forms, but must remain rooted primarily in a love for Jesus, and an understanding of Him as saviour. Along with an understanding of what it means to serve your husband or wife.

I personally didn't find my mind being swayed, but I would not let that put you off. If anything I'd say I've been able to understand my own perspective more deeply, as well as understanding why I believe the things I do.

Dan.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the more helpful resources I've encountered surrounding the topic of 'Women in Ministry' within Christian circles. It tackles with honesty the application of theology to the practical realities of daily life in relationship. A bit dry and 'scholarly' but so helpful that it earns a five-star rating for content. Two views (egalitarian and soft-complementarian) on four aspects of gender / marriage / ministry: 1) discipleship, 2) headship and submission, 3) marriage roles and decision making, and 4) marriage and intimacy. The two couples who authored the book also invited written perspectives from three additional couples with a variety of ethnic backgrounds. One of those responses was written by a pastor who affirmed this book as a practical resource for the dozens of couples he had counseled over the years.