Helping Those Who Hurt: Reaching Out to Your Friends In Need

by H. Norman Wright

What Do You Say to a Friend When...
His child is killed in an accident?
Her husband has filed for divorce?
She is diagnosed with cancer?

Throughout our lifetimes, we'll find ourselves in the uncomfortable position of not knowing what to say to a friend suffering a loss or trauma. But not doing anything brings more harm than good. As Christians, it is not a question of whether or not to help, but how and when to lend a hand. In the newly revised Helping Those Who Hurt, H. Norman Wright offers practical and sensitive ways to help friends suffering a divorce, the loss of a spouse, a diagnosis of cancer, and other traumas. Specific suggestions tell you not only what to do but what not to do.

Norm is not only a licensed therapist and certified trauma specialist, he also suffered loss with the death of his son at a young age. He writes this guide as a person who knows firsthand about helping others through trauma.

144 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2003

About the author

H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and other concerns. He helps couples bring vibrancy to their relationships through counseling, seminars, and more than 90 books, including Before You Say “I Do” and After You Say “I Do.” Norm also reveals insights for spiritual growth, great relationships, and success in devotionals that include Strong to the Core, Quiet Times for Every Parent, and Truly Devoted: What Dogs Teach Us About Life, Love, and Loyalty. www.hnormanwright.com

Reviews

[Heidi Huber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Covers a good range of grief related topics. HIGHLY reccomend eveyone read chapter 2 which covers what NOT to say. It so important to give thought on how to offer help to those suffering around us, it's not easy but can be made easier by reading this book. I would take some inspiration from the examples in chapter 10 but use some wisdom in applying them. I really loved the prayers in chapter 11 and would go back to them. Over all it is fairly easy reading for the topics covered. It is a good first outline and guide to someone who wants to learn more about loss and wants to help their friend/family.

[book girl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very practical book for helping people through a crisis. I especially liked the last 3 chapters on how to write a condolence letter, how to pray with them, and what to do/what not to do. It is an older book so the style is a little old fashioned (when the author refers to his own special needs son who passed away, he used the “r” word) but otherwise it’s very practical and can assist when helping those in dire circumstances.

[Andy Hickman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beneficial read.

H. Norman Wright, Helping Those Who Hurt: Reaching Out to Your Friends in Need (Minneapolis, MN: Bethany Publishing, 2006).

Professional Counsellor Norman Wright believes that one third of his clients need not have seen him if they had of seen a pastor.

Grieving people need non-judgmental assistance in clarifying their grief.

Be prepared to feel hurt when your offers of help are rejected, and do not be overly concerned at a grieving person's spiritual doubts.

What they have experienced is abnormal and so their response is actually quite normal.

Diary writing is a good way to express one's thoughts and feelings if there are none to listen.

- - -

[Kourtney · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the "to-do" and "don't do" lists in the back of this book to be the most helpful parts. Some of the dialogue throughout the chapters seemed redundant to me... I think based on the description, I was expecting something more about how to help those in the immediate aftermath of grief.

[Shiloh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book under the circumstances. I was surprised by some "not to do's" that I have done. But it also has a practical list of helpful things to do.