The Danish Way of Raising Teens: What the happiest people in the world know about raising confident, healthy teenagers with character

by Iben Dissing Sandahl

Learn the parenting secrets that make Danish teens the happiest in the world

If you read the bestselling The Danish Way of Parenting, you will have already discovered the secret to the happiest children in the world. Here, co-author and psychotherapist Iben Dissing Sandahl will bring to life the Danish upbringing values that form the basis of raising the happiest, healthiest and most well-adjusted teenagers in the world.

From embracing uniqueness and authenticity, to stressing freedom with responsibility and avoiding ultimatums, The Danish Way of Raising Teens uncovers the ten core principles Danes use to raise their teens and steer them through this challenging, yet exciting, phase.

Reassuring and gentle, this book will help you support your child in this formative time, which is often shrouded in worry, to show a way forward that is packed with hope, positivity and enjoyment.

Genres: Parenting

256 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 26, 2023

About the author

Iben Sandahl is the author of The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids.
She is a professional parenting expert, narrative psychotherapist MPF, family counselor, teacher and speaker. She has more than 20 years of experienced insight into child psychology and education, which in a most natural way anchor the Danish way of practicing parenthood.

Reviews

[Katerina Messi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not a parent, but as a teacher I was interested to know more about the Danish way of parenting and the school system. This book provided me with some insight regarding the above-mentioned matter and even though I tend to be negatively biased towards books with such titles, I learnt some new terms such as the concept of efterskole. I didn't disagree with a lot, however, it tends to be self-regulatory quite often and I prefer more scientific books when it comes to my profession. I understand though that this book is intended to be read by parents and a simpler approach is chosen. I still need to read more about the subject and I am not fully covered, but it was an easy to read introductory book.

[Kayti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some great principles, but it felt a bit too self-congratulatory at parts for me. I also differ from the author when it comes to parenting teens in regard to alcohol and pornography. I don’t consider it inevitable that our teens will engage in either, so she kind of lost me in those sections.

[Martha Ivester · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointing. Poorly structured and very self-referential vs science / fact based. Based on the title, I was hoping for more insights and suggestions as well as pros and cons of the Danish approach to child + teen rearing, but instead this book was way too personal and veered into self-congratulatory and preachiness. I struggled to pull some actionable takeaways based on facts as the author clutters the book with opinion and individual experience without framing it in the macro context.

For example in talking about Danish alcohol culture, she provides some statistics DK vs US/UK, but does not then go deeper into how specifically attitudes are changing and how a parent can empower their teen to resist peer pressure, or give examples of known successful Danish programs like an alcohol contract ... And how that is implemented in a country where you can buy beer and wine at 16. There could have been great lessons for other parents / countries but instead she just talks about her own daughter's experience and her hopes for the future that rates will change.

She covers liberal Danish attitudes towards nudity (ie: in public swimming pools, winter bathing and sauna culture), but doesn't address how positive body image is addressed in the education system or on public tv. She had a great opportunity to lay out suggestions on how parents could instill the more relaxed and body-positive Danish approach to nudity but just moved on to the next topic.

The index of topics was promising, but the specifics were missing and it lacked a clear structure: ie topic, personal story, societal examples, statistics, insights, lessons/takeaways / advice for parents . It was way too opinionated and self-referential and left me frustrated and annoyed since the title promised so much more.

[Abby Crow · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Interacting with your teenagers and fulfilling your adult leadership role is all about communicating your values through your behavior. It is about dialogue and engagement.”

“You are their safe haven, from where they sail every day out on the great sea, which can be quiet or in revolt. Still, they come back when the day is over and need to be refueled mentally and physically with safe background figures that trust in them.”

“Why would it be natural to turn towards your peers as an adolescent? Because that’s on whom you’re going to depend on when you leave home. Often, in the wild, a mammal without an adolescent peer group is as good as dead. So connecting with a peer group can feel like a matter of survival.”

“Parenting is not something we just do, but something we make an effort to learn by continuously acquiring new coping strategies and knowledge.”

[Laura Merryweather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely excellent book. Places beautiful emphasis on how our own baggage - our "extinguished stars" - affect our children and the importance of reigniting them in ourselves and helping our children to do the same and to be themselves rather than who we or anyone else wants them to/thinks they should be.
Even has a beautiful and concise, as well as applied, explanation of the subconscious and personality.
Easy read / listen and easy to take in. Not dumbed down.
My ND brain loved the narration and the way the writer wrote this book.

Highly recommend for any parent and anyone re parenting themselves.

"Nothing in the world is bigger than the love of our children. And they will forever help us turn on our starry sky - if we let them" ❤️

[Diego Atterbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read. Really enjoy the Scandi way and this gave great insight into their parenting philosophies. Better than most self help books which become rather repetitive half way through. This book maintained a steady momentum with fresh content. Thanks Iben

[Gayle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up, not because I need help raising teens, but rather I was interested in what is the Danish way? It reinforced some of my existing thoughts but didn’t provide anything earth shattering.

[C]

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[Clara · Rating 1 out of 5]

The first one was good, but this one went way more subjective. DNF.