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The Amazing Conroy #5
Buffalito Destiny
"Makes for a fun read, especially given such a fantastic cast of characters." -BOOKLIST. "Only Lawrence Schoen could blend the Mayan eschaton, nightclub hypnotism, corporate elitism, radical environmentalism, and good old-fashioned slam-bang adventure fiction." - Jay Lake. "Fast-paced and mind-bending." - Karl Schroeder. A former stage hypnotist, the Amazing Conroy really just wants to have a good meal. He's now the wealthy CEO of a company that leases buffalo dogs, alien creatures capable of biting into and devouring nearly anything. When he attempts to implement a solution for cleaning up massive industrial waste sites, Conroy becomes targeted by ecological terrorists who resent the use of alien technology (living or otherwise) to heal the Earth. But kidnapping and the destruction of his corporate headquarters are the least of Conroy's problems. An unknown, telepathic intelligence has begun invading his dreams, warning of geological disasters that hinge on what Conroy does next. Further complicating his life are several groups of aliens, each believing that he has a special destiny to fulfil, though they don't necessarily agree what it is. Accompanied by his pet buffalito, Reggie, Conroy must elude terrorists, confound alien zealots, withstand temporal distortions throughout the former state of Texas, and explore ancient Mayan ruins. His adventures will result in his reunion with a long dead relative, a chance to experience the world's greatest sandwiches, exposure to alien bliss, a battle with a megalomaniac on the slope of an active volcano, and a trip to the asteroid belt for a final face-to-face confrontation with the creature that had been invading his dreams. Somewhere in the midst of it all, he has to find his true destiny.
- GenresScience Fiction
263 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2009
24 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
About the author
Lawrence M. Schoen
129 books233 followersLawrence M. Schoen holds a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology, is a past Astounding, Hugo, and Nebula, nominee, twice won the Cóyotl award for best novel, founded the Klingon Language Institute, and occasionally does work as a hypnotherapist specializing in authors’ issues. He is a chimeric cancer survivor.
His science fiction includes many light and humorous adventures of a space-faring stage hypnotist and his alien animal companion. Other works take a very different tone, exploring aspects of determinism and free will, generally redefining the continua between life and death. Sometimes he blurs the funny and the serious. Lawrence lives near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his wife and their dog.
His science fiction includes many light and humorous adventures of a space-faring stage hypnotist and his alien animal companion. Other works take a very different tone, exploring aspects of determinism and free will, generally redefining the continua between life and death. Sometimes he blurs the funny and the serious. Lawrence lives near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with his wife and their dog.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
June 26, 2014
The writing style reminded me of Robert Asprin. This is as far from hard sci-fi as you can get. It is filled with various psychic powers, biological process that make no sense, and of course super technology.
The politics I perceived rubbed me the wrong way. An "environmentalist" group is cast as the primary antagonist. Their behavior makes no sense other than as fanatical morons to fill the antagonist role so the plot could move forward. Their hypocritical behavior was human supremacist and had nothing to do with environmentalism. The fact that the author decided to call them radical environmentalists bothered me.
If you like Robert Asprin and want to read something he might write if he wrote sci-fi, this is for you. There aren't as many puns, but it had the same feel.
The politics I perceived rubbed me the wrong way. An "environmentalist" group is cast as the primary antagonist. Their behavior makes no sense other than as fanatical morons to fill the antagonist role so the plot could move forward. Their hypocritical behavior was human supremacist and had nothing to do with environmentalism. The fact that the author decided to call them radical environmentalists bothered me.
If you like Robert Asprin and want to read something he might write if he wrote sci-fi, this is for you. There aren't as many puns, but it had the same feel.
January 9, 2013
Fun read. I wasn't sure what to expect, but once I got to a certain point, I just kept turning pages to find out what could possibly happen next. Nice mix of down to earth mundane details (such as the sandwiches!) and boom-boom collisions with implacable terrorists and exotic aliens.
June 8, 2013
Endearing characters in a fast-paced adventure.
October 15, 2024
Wow! This was quite a ride. I really enjoy reading about this character. I guess I am going to look for more books in this series.
March 12, 2019
This didn't go at all like I was expecting from the first couple chapters. All of a sudden we're going from Phule's Company to something a lot more balanced. The protag gets away from danger constantly, but loses something every time he saves his skin. The world of the not-that-distant future is a well crafted one where we see it, and promises of interesting things where we don't. The characters were fleshed out and believable, with no weird behaviors or hard archetypes.
The only thing that grated on my is a personal thing: I'm not a fan of soft predestination. Unerring future sight feels like the author is revealing the plot railroad to the audience.
The only thing that grated on my is a personal thing: I'm not a fan of soft predestination. Unerring future sight feels like the author is revealing the plot railroad to the audience.
January 30, 2019
Excellent story
Excellent story grips you from the first and doesn’t let you go. Conroy and Reggie and a stellar pair and are wonderful characters to read about.
Excellent story grips you from the first and doesn’t let you go. Conroy and Reggie and a stellar pair and are wonderful characters to read about.
August 15, 2011
We meet The Amazing Conroy at the beginning of his career as a stage hypnotist. He’s been stranded on an alien planet after making a delivery as a courier. This situation in and of itself begins to let the reader know about author Lawrence M. Schoen’s talent in combining the mundane with the unexpected. Certainly, I’d never have imagined earning my way around the universe as a stage hypnotist.
The book proper is set in Conroy’s present where he has smuggled an alien life form to Earth. Rarely has an alien been more adorable than the Buffalito Dog, Reggie. He is Conroy’s personal pet and the leader of the rest of the Buffalito pack which forms the foundation of Conroy’s corporation. Conroy has become incredibly wealthy by renting the services of his Buffalitos which literally eat anything and fart oxygen.
At the time we join the story, the Mexican president wants a demonstration of Conroy’s services to convince his government to clean up toxic waste sites. However, this plan is put in jeopardy by an anti-alien, eco-terrorist group with no qualms about using extreme force to achieve their goal of banning aliens and their technology from the earth. To make matters worse, Conroy has been having mysterious dreams which he must decipher in order to fulfill his destiny of keeping the Earth from being destroyed.
These are only a few of the features of this entertaining novel which include the joys of Mexican sandwiches, a huge region of temporal instability in Texas, and a bus tour of Mayan ruins that includes one of the most creative alien races I’ve ever read about.
There is a zany charm about this novel which makes any threats seem less serious, although I was extremely curious about how Conroy was going to fulfill his destiny. The oddest but imaginative elements come together in the most ordinary of ways and somehow all hang together pretty well to form a story that kept me interested.
It helps that I simply love William Coon’s narration although he does occasionally struggle with an accent (the Texan drawl was bravely attempted but not quite right). However, that is the only one that didn’t ring quite true for me. His reading is half the charm of Conroy’s character. This is the first time I’ve heard him use different voices for different characters and I feel sure that I wouldn’t be able to read the actual book without hearing Coon’s narration reading along in my mind’s ear.
The story is not always imaginatively plotted, perhaps because so much else was going on that the author could only juggle so many balls in the air. I was able to peg the main eco-terrorist quite early in the story and hoped against hope (as it turns out) that the author would be able to sacrifice a character necessary to the story’s integrity. However, there were other surprises that I didn’t expect so it isn’t as if the entire plot was obvious.
Buffalito Destiny is a great deal of fun even with a few plot glitches. And I’m ok with that.
The book proper is set in Conroy’s present where he has smuggled an alien life form to Earth. Rarely has an alien been more adorable than the Buffalito Dog, Reggie. He is Conroy’s personal pet and the leader of the rest of the Buffalito pack which forms the foundation of Conroy’s corporation. Conroy has become incredibly wealthy by renting the services of his Buffalitos which literally eat anything and fart oxygen.
At the time we join the story, the Mexican president wants a demonstration of Conroy’s services to convince his government to clean up toxic waste sites. However, this plan is put in jeopardy by an anti-alien, eco-terrorist group with no qualms about using extreme force to achieve their goal of banning aliens and their technology from the earth. To make matters worse, Conroy has been having mysterious dreams which he must decipher in order to fulfill his destiny of keeping the Earth from being destroyed.
These are only a few of the features of this entertaining novel which include the joys of Mexican sandwiches, a huge region of temporal instability in Texas, and a bus tour of Mayan ruins that includes one of the most creative alien races I’ve ever read about.
There is a zany charm about this novel which makes any threats seem less serious, although I was extremely curious about how Conroy was going to fulfill his destiny. The oddest but imaginative elements come together in the most ordinary of ways and somehow all hang together pretty well to form a story that kept me interested.
It helps that I simply love William Coon’s narration although he does occasionally struggle with an accent (the Texan drawl was bravely attempted but not quite right). However, that is the only one that didn’t ring quite true for me. His reading is half the charm of Conroy’s character. This is the first time I’ve heard him use different voices for different characters and I feel sure that I wouldn’t be able to read the actual book without hearing Coon’s narration reading along in my mind’s ear.
The story is not always imaginatively plotted, perhaps because so much else was going on that the author could only juggle so many balls in the air. I was able to peg the main eco-terrorist quite early in the story and hoped against hope (as it turns out) that the author would be able to sacrifice a character necessary to the story’s integrity. However, there were other surprises that I didn’t expect so it isn’t as if the entire plot was obvious.
Buffalito Destiny is a great deal of fun even with a few plot glitches. And I’m ok with that.
October 3, 2019
This is the first Amazing Conroy novel, with a short story collection and three novellas before this. It was fun to follow Conroy in a longer story, and Left-John Mocker is a fun character as well. Here we got to explore more of the future Earth the author created, including a Texas that is basically a disaster area and an isolationist Mexico. I know from other notes from the author that from the first story "Buffalo Dogs," Conroy has had it too good or too easy. Here, he very much does not. I do wish Conroy had had a chance to use his hypnosis skills a bit more (outside of the stage), but it was still fun regardless.
April 26, 2020
Lots of fun
In the tradition of Robert Asprin and Spider Robinson, this lightly humorous science fiction book is great fun. There’s adventure, good food, preposterous coincidences that make perfect sense, and buffalitos. What more do you need? It does help if you’ve read the previous books, but it’s certainly not necessary.
In the tradition of Robert Asprin and Spider Robinson, this lightly humorous science fiction book is great fun. There’s adventure, good food, preposterous coincidences that make perfect sense, and buffalitos. What more do you need? It does help if you’ve read the previous books, but it’s certainly not necessary.
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February 23, 2012Starts of quite fun, but I have the audio book, and I struggle with that format, so I haven't finished. Will give it another go on the way home tonight.
Update: Turns out audio books just don't work for me. Shame. My not finishing the book has nothing to do with the book itself.
Update: Turns out audio books just don't work for me. Shame. My not finishing the book has nothing to do with the book itself.
January 11, 2012
Great plotting, engaging elements. But frustratingly underwritten in parts, with flat characters. I loved the buffalitos and definitely wanted to know what happened in the end. So it claws its way up to three stars.
April 17, 2012
2 and 3/4. The buffalitos are a wonderful invention. The plotting is great but the characters are just barely there.
January 10, 2015
A truly funny book. I loved it. I wish he would write more. I enjoyed the Buffalito books as much as I enjoy Terry Pratchett.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews