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Mr. Darcy #1
Mr. Darcy Steals a Kiss [and Some Other Stuff]
My family is about to be ruined, and the only person who can help me is a burglar whose kisses make me forget my own name.
Elizabeth Bennet
My father is a fraud. There, I’ve confessed it. Jane and I are the only ones who know that he fakes “ancient Greek vases” and sells them to unsuspecting buyers for exorbitant sums to keep our mother in pin money. I don’t even have time for flirtations and courtships like other girls because I’m so worried that someday, he’ll sell one of his fake artifacts to the wrong person.
But I never thought it would go this badly.
His latest brilliant scheme is to sell a "rare and valuable" sculpture to someone whose name starts with “Prince,” (yes, that Prince!). And that’s just the beginning of the trouble. Now, we have a burglar on the loose, a “ladyship” who wants to squeeze into the action, a pompous fool who wants to marry me just to get his hands on my father’s collection, and a royal who will not think any of this is funny.
It’s pretty sad when the most trustworthy person of the whole lot is the burglar.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Things I have never done (until this week):
1. Broken into a house. (But I sort of had permission.)
2. Split my head open. (Totally not my fault.)
3. Pretended to be a burglar. (In my defense, it was to save a lady’s reputation.)
4. Kissed a stranger. (It didn’t affect me at all. Mostly.)
5. Paid a king’s ransom for a sculpture that may or may not be genuine. (I panicked. See above.)
6. Agreed to steal said sculpture to keep my neck out of a noose. (I’ve got nothing.)
7. Kissed a…
Perhaps she’s not a stranger anymore.
Elizabeth Bennet
My father is a fraud. There, I’ve confessed it. Jane and I are the only ones who know that he fakes “ancient Greek vases” and sells them to unsuspecting buyers for exorbitant sums to keep our mother in pin money. I don’t even have time for flirtations and courtships like other girls because I’m so worried that someday, he’ll sell one of his fake artifacts to the wrong person.
But I never thought it would go this badly.
His latest brilliant scheme is to sell a "rare and valuable" sculpture to someone whose name starts with “Prince,” (yes, that Prince!). And that’s just the beginning of the trouble. Now, we have a burglar on the loose, a “ladyship” who wants to squeeze into the action, a pompous fool who wants to marry me just to get his hands on my father’s collection, and a royal who will not think any of this is funny.
It’s pretty sad when the most trustworthy person of the whole lot is the burglar.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Things I have never done (until this week):
1. Broken into a house. (But I sort of had permission.)
2. Split my head open. (Totally not my fault.)
3. Pretended to be a burglar. (In my defense, it was to save a lady’s reputation.)
4. Kissed a stranger. (It didn’t affect me at all. Mostly.)
5. Paid a king’s ransom for a sculpture that may or may not be genuine. (I panicked. See above.)
6. Agreed to steal said sculpture to keep my neck out of a noose. (I’ve got nothing.)
7. Kissed a…
Perhaps she’s not a stranger anymore.
219 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 1, 2022
210 people are currently reading
308 people want to read
About the author
Alix James
59 books128 followersSatisfying romance with a happy ending
Alix James is a best-selling Jane Austen romance author. #janeaustenfan #janeaustenfans #janeaustenfanfiction #mrdarcy #austenadapations #austenvariations
Alix James is a best-selling Jane Austen romance author. #janeaustenfan #janeaustenfans #janeaustenfanfiction #mrdarcy #austenadapations #austenvariations
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 95 reviews
March 15, 2023
There is more than one item being stolen in Hertfordshire. It seems that there is a thief of objects, i.e., silver spoons, who also charms ladies he meets during such activities and gains some physical regard before he leaves.
Then there is Mr. Bennet who, in effect, "steals" from those who purchase his "ancient" Greek vases and now there is a sculpture, which might be headed into the prince's hands. If the prince's experts examine the item and find it is a forgery the whole Bennet family will be disgraced along with whatever is brought down on Mr. Bennet's head.
Mr. Bennet has kept his "hobby" a secret from even most of his family, working in a small cottage apart from the Longbourn house. Elizabeth knows but her pleas that he ceases and desist go ignored.
Now as Bingley prepares to lease Netherfield an inventory of the items within that estate is made. Bingley asks Darcy to help him determine the value of several vases. He doesn't have a key so Darcy climbs in a window but then is forced to hide behind a fire screen when someone enters the house. Elizabeth discovers him and bashes him over the head. She ends up stitching his head. But she assumes he is that "kissing bandit". Yes, along the way he does steal a kiss, but she steals one right back.
Then she desperately turns to him to help her steal back the artifact Papa sold in order to save her family's honor.
Darcy quickly finds himself (as usual) fighting his attraction to Elizabeth and losing. In this tale he soon asks for a courtship and their relationship quickly progresses further. (Although it takes quite a while for Elizabeth to learn who he really is.)
Meanwhile we also have Collins showing up wanting to obtain that sculpture for Lady Catherine. He is planning to marry into the family, not so as to allow the estate to stay within the Bennet family, but to allow him more leverage in buying the artwork.
That sculpture destined for the prince - well, read and discover what happens. Wickham is involved in the story but not in the usual way.
I highly recommend this story.
I received a free copy of this book from the author and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Then there is Mr. Bennet who, in effect, "steals" from those who purchase his "ancient" Greek vases and now there is a sculpture, which might be headed into the prince's hands. If the prince's experts examine the item and find it is a forgery the whole Bennet family will be disgraced along with whatever is brought down on Mr. Bennet's head.
Mr. Bennet has kept his "hobby" a secret from even most of his family, working in a small cottage apart from the Longbourn house. Elizabeth knows but her pleas that he ceases and desist go ignored.
Now as Bingley prepares to lease Netherfield an inventory of the items within that estate is made. Bingley asks Darcy to help him determine the value of several vases. He doesn't have a key so Darcy climbs in a window but then is forced to hide behind a fire screen when someone enters the house. Elizabeth discovers him and bashes him over the head. She ends up stitching his head. But she assumes he is that "kissing bandit". Yes, along the way he does steal a kiss, but she steals one right back.
Then she desperately turns to him to help her steal back the artifact Papa sold in order to save her family's honor.
Darcy quickly finds himself (as usual) fighting his attraction to Elizabeth and losing. In this tale he soon asks for a courtship and their relationship quickly progresses further. (Although it takes quite a while for Elizabeth to learn who he really is.)
Meanwhile we also have Collins showing up wanting to obtain that sculpture for Lady Catherine. He is planning to marry into the family, not so as to allow the estate to stay within the Bennet family, but to allow him more leverage in buying the artwork.
That sculpture destined for the prince - well, read and discover what happens. Wickham is involved in the story but not in the usual way.
I highly recommend this story.
I received a free copy of this book from the author and am voluntarily leaving a review.
December 26, 2022
Yet another excellent, light-hearted addition to the Alix James collection of Pride and Prejudice variations!
Mr. Bennet is a classical antiquity buff who has built a nice little scam business. He creates "genuine" ancient vases, which he either sells through Mr. Gardiner or he displays in Longbourn and allows others to "convince" him to part with. Elizabeth and Jane are both afraid of the potential consequences if he's discovered, but Mr. Bennet is smugly confident he can fool anyone.
Mr. Darcy is the kind of art expert Mr. Bennet should be wary of. At Mr. Bingley's request, he goes to evaluate some vases in the estate his friend will be leasing soon. Elizabeth discovers Darcy in what should be an unoccupied Netherfield and assumes he is the thief who has been stealing from homes around Meryton. When surprised by a woman, the handsome rascal is known to kiss her into a swoon and make his escape. Darcy adapts this persona successfully in order to prevent Miss Elizabeth from discovering who he really is, but he does not get away unscathed.
As absurd as the premise sounds, Ms. James sells it for all it's worth - and then takes it even further. Things lead to a nail-biting (but also wacky) twist when Elizabeth seeks out "William" to steal a statue in London.
So much to enjoy here! Elizabeth somehow manages to injure Darcy whenever they meet (which is frequently). Poor Mr. Bingley is accident-prone too, so you can expect some slapstick-type humor along with the situational silliness. Mr. Collins has a new reason to resist taking no for an answer when he proposes to Elizabeth. Mr. Wickham gets a unique storyline that does not involve Lydia Bennet.
It's short, well-written, clean, fun, and I highly recommend it!
I received a free copy of this book from the author and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Mr. Bennet is a classical antiquity buff who has built a nice little scam business. He creates "genuine" ancient vases, which he either sells through Mr. Gardiner or he displays in Longbourn and allows others to "convince" him to part with. Elizabeth and Jane are both afraid of the potential consequences if he's discovered, but Mr. Bennet is smugly confident he can fool anyone.
Mr. Darcy is the kind of art expert Mr. Bennet should be wary of. At Mr. Bingley's request, he goes to evaluate some vases in the estate his friend will be leasing soon. Elizabeth discovers Darcy in what should be an unoccupied Netherfield and assumes he is the thief who has been stealing from homes around Meryton. When surprised by a woman, the handsome rascal is known to kiss her into a swoon and make his escape. Darcy adapts this persona successfully in order to prevent Miss Elizabeth from discovering who he really is, but he does not get away unscathed.
As absurd as the premise sounds, Ms. James sells it for all it's worth - and then takes it even further. Things lead to a nail-biting (but also wacky) twist when Elizabeth seeks out "William" to steal a statue in London.
So much to enjoy here! Elizabeth somehow manages to injure Darcy whenever they meet (which is frequently). Poor Mr. Bingley is accident-prone too, so you can expect some slapstick-type humor along with the situational silliness. Mr. Collins has a new reason to resist taking no for an answer when he proposes to Elizabeth. Mr. Wickham gets a unique storyline that does not involve Lydia Bennet.
It's short, well-written, clean, fun, and I highly recommend it!
I received a free copy of this book from the author and am voluntarily leaving a review.
January 7, 2023
What an outrageous, hilarious, Oh My Gosh story
>>Rating: mild language, risqué, bawdy, ah, heck, it was a riot
>>Angst Level: benign stress: the kind that makes you sweat wondering what the heck was going to happen next.
>>Health Precautions: DO NOT… I repeat… DO NOT attempt to read this while eating or drinking. This author should be arrested for the attempted murder of her reading audience. Yep, she nearly killed me. If you fail to follow my caveat then have the following precautions on hand.
Defib: if your heart stops beating you can at least be jolted back to the real world. And, I don’t care what they say, it does not tickle. Just saying. I can still hear them yelling “CLEAR” even in my sleep.
Oxygen: certain scenes simply took my breath away. I needed air for sure to simply breathe. Also, I laughed so hard that I lost my breath at times. Breathe people… remember to breathe. I may have cracked a rib… or two.
Sturdy Chair: or lots of pillows around you if you are in bed. You don’t want to fall out laughing or in shock. The floor is not a soft place. I should know, oh, and I found my missing sock.
And for the love of… do not scream out loud in the middle of the night. I know the neighbors think I’m weird enough as it is with lights on at all hours reading. You don’t need the SWAT team knocking down your door. I hope the carpenter arrives soon and can fix that. They made an awful mess. Just saying.
>>Source: ARC from the author with no expectations of a review. The views and opinions expressed are my own. I haven’t decided if I’m grateful or not but I’m buying this. I have to have this in my personal library. I’ll be reading this again. However, I’ll have to wait for the heart monitors and wires to be removed before I can leave the facility. This just about did me in.
“No one has ever looked at me like he does. I doubt anyone ever will.” –Lauren Blakely, 21 Stolen Kisses
What was Alix James thinking, when she thought up this farce? OMG! It was crazy, hilarious, outrageous, marvelous, horrid, scary, shocking, dizzying, lovely, romantic, a scream, and a hoot. In many JAFF stories, Elizabeth is portrayed as a tomboy. It was never more apparent than in this story. It was never mentioned but her response to situations showed her tomboy side to her personality. As a former tomboy, I recognized several of those moves. Fitzwilliam Darcy never… NEVER… had a chance. From the get-go, it was on.
Poor Mr. Bennet… what an eccentric. OMG! ICNPID [I-Could-Not-Put-It-Down]. I still don’t know what I think about him or his wife.
“The robb’d that smiles, steals something from the thief; He robs himself that spends a bootless grief.” –William Shakespeare, Othello
>>Rating: mild language, risqué, bawdy, ah, heck, it was a riot
>>Angst Level: benign stress: the kind that makes you sweat wondering what the heck was going to happen next.
>>Health Precautions: DO NOT… I repeat… DO NOT attempt to read this while eating or drinking. This author should be arrested for the attempted murder of her reading audience. Yep, she nearly killed me. If you fail to follow my caveat then have the following precautions on hand.
Defib: if your heart stops beating you can at least be jolted back to the real world. And, I don’t care what they say, it does not tickle. Just saying. I can still hear them yelling “CLEAR” even in my sleep.
Oxygen: certain scenes simply took my breath away. I needed air for sure to simply breathe. Also, I laughed so hard that I lost my breath at times. Breathe people… remember to breathe. I may have cracked a rib… or two.
Sturdy Chair: or lots of pillows around you if you are in bed. You don’t want to fall out laughing or in shock. The floor is not a soft place. I should know, oh, and I found my missing sock.
And for the love of… do not scream out loud in the middle of the night. I know the neighbors think I’m weird enough as it is with lights on at all hours reading. You don’t need the SWAT team knocking down your door. I hope the carpenter arrives soon and can fix that. They made an awful mess. Just saying.
>>Source: ARC from the author with no expectations of a review. The views and opinions expressed are my own. I haven’t decided if I’m grateful or not but I’m buying this. I have to have this in my personal library. I’ll be reading this again. However, I’ll have to wait for the heart monitors and wires to be removed before I can leave the facility. This just about did me in.
“No one has ever looked at me like he does. I doubt anyone ever will.” –Lauren Blakely, 21 Stolen Kisses
What was Alix James thinking, when she thought up this farce? OMG! It was crazy, hilarious, outrageous, marvelous, horrid, scary, shocking, dizzying, lovely, romantic, a scream, and a hoot. In many JAFF stories, Elizabeth is portrayed as a tomboy. It was never more apparent than in this story. It was never mentioned but her response to situations showed her tomboy side to her personality. As a former tomboy, I recognized several of those moves. Fitzwilliam Darcy never… NEVER… had a chance. From the get-go, it was on.
Poor Mr. Bennet… what an eccentric. OMG! ICNPID [I-Could-Not-Put-It-Down]. I still don’t know what I think about him or his wife.
“The robb’d that smiles, steals something from the thief; He robs himself that spends a bootless grief.” –William Shakespeare, Othello
December 28, 2022
Now this is a romp... and a half!
Darcy becomes a bit of a rogue when in the environs of a certain brown haired minx!
He is trying to do a favor for his uncle the Earl. She is desperate to keep her family from ruin at the hands of her father.
Amidst instant attraction, pithy dialog, hidden identity and the risk of hanging, ODC fall hard for each other.
If you are looking for a fun, entertaining book to fill an afternoon, look no further than this adorable read!
Darcy becomes a bit of a rogue when in the environs of a certain brown haired minx!
He is trying to do a favor for his uncle the Earl. She is desperate to keep her family from ruin at the hands of her father.
Amidst instant attraction, pithy dialog, hidden identity and the risk of hanging, ODC fall hard for each other.
If you are looking for a fun, entertaining book to fill an afternoon, look no further than this adorable read!
December 28, 2022
So fun!
Another brilliant read by Alix James. As every other one of hers I’ve read, this book will thoroughly entertain and delight you. Her portrayals of Elizabeth and Darcy simply put a smile on your face and bring joy to your heart. Don’t miss this must read. Clean, sweet, never disappointing, and highly recommended.
Another brilliant read by Alix James. As every other one of hers I’ve read, this book will thoroughly entertain and delight you. Her portrayals of Elizabeth and Darcy simply put a smile on your face and bring joy to your heart. Don’t miss this must read. Clean, sweet, never disappointing, and highly recommended.
February 19, 2023
I love and highly recommend most of this author's books. This is completely a personal taste preference rating, it's just not my taste in comedy. Too slapstick for me, and also kind of violent humor. I really thought Lizzy could use a tranquilizer.
March 27, 2023
This was a fun and silly adventure with our characters. Reminded me a little of the movie Charade. Carey Grant makes a terribly funny Darcy.
August 25, 2024
4,5 stars
At the beginning I was a bit exceptional about how they were acting but it grew so much on me.
At the beginning I was a bit exceptional about how they were acting but it grew so much on me.
November 19, 2023
Well, to be honest, the story is somewhat improbable, Darcy is a bit OOC and even Elizabeth to some extent. But ....... who cares about all that when you're having this much fun. 5++ stars.
January 17, 2023
3.5 rounded up. Definitely not to be taken seriously, but a fun farcical tale to lighten your day.
January 4, 2023
Starting off the year with a bang! First book of 2023 and what a adventure it was.
What a fun read this was - we're so far from canon and I loved it. Loved the banter between the 2, loved how Jane & Bingley met, even loved quirky Mr. Bennet.
What a fun read this was - we're so far from canon and I loved it. Loved the banter between the 2, loved how Jane & Bingley met, even loved quirky Mr. Bennet.
January 15, 2023
I loved the tone of this story! It was wonderful. I liked the little quips back and forth, and how charming Darcy was and how clever Elizabeth was. Everyone was cheeky in this story and it was a joy to read. Loved it.
September 26, 2023
An outrageous P&P rom com, it bordered on the ridiculous at times, but was still fun to read. Brilliant use of Wickham.
February 2, 2024
Que cosa tan hermosa leí, es tan bonito y tierno 🥰🥰🥰 necesito seguir leyendo más de esta escritora ❤
January 8, 2023
Funny. Loved it.
December 29, 2022
I greatly enjoyed the focus on Elizabeth and Darcy, often together, exchanging quips while learning to trust each other. A huge plus: a strong, confident Elizabeth. Lovely.
April 15, 2023
A little too off for me
Usually, I'm fairly lenient in my reviews and ratings but i had a lot of trouble with this book.
So I think my biggest issue is that the main characters were so off from canon. One of Darcy's core values is that disguise of any kind is his abhorrence but the first thing he does is allow Lizzy to believe he is someone he isnt...and doesn't correct her for at least half the book - she figures it out on her own. Also, another first when the meet is Darcy just kisses her out of nowhere which is very unDarcy. Secondly, Mr. Bennett takes his desire for amusement to the extreme with no regard for how it will impact his family. Every time he came on the page he was just selfish and laughing about everything going on. It was extremely annoying.
Thirdly, the writing felt almost disjointed. I can't quite explain it but reading it wasn't smooth. Transitions felt abrupt and the alternating first person point of view was jarring. You'd forget who was the main person occasionally because both characters were together so often and the POV changed so quickly and abruptly.
Finally, while Lizzy was brave and intelligent the fact that she didn't learn her father's favorite hobby was odd as well as her lack of knowledge on the subject. The Lizzy Bennett from the original would have been by his side up until she decided she didn't want to continue but that wasn't how this happened. Overall, just too off for me.
I gave 3 stars because it was an original storyline that had a solid plot and details. I just don't think it was written as well as some.
Usually, I'm fairly lenient in my reviews and ratings but i had a lot of trouble with this book.
So I think my biggest issue is that the main characters were so off from canon. One of Darcy's core values is that disguise of any kind is his abhorrence but the first thing he does is allow Lizzy to believe he is someone he isnt...and doesn't correct her for at least half the book - she figures it out on her own. Also, another first when the meet is Darcy just kisses her out of nowhere which is very unDarcy. Secondly, Mr. Bennett takes his desire for amusement to the extreme with no regard for how it will impact his family. Every time he came on the page he was just selfish and laughing about everything going on. It was extremely annoying.
Thirdly, the writing felt almost disjointed. I can't quite explain it but reading it wasn't smooth. Transitions felt abrupt and the alternating first person point of view was jarring. You'd forget who was the main person occasionally because both characters were together so often and the POV changed so quickly and abruptly.
Finally, while Lizzy was brave and intelligent the fact that she didn't learn her father's favorite hobby was odd as well as her lack of knowledge on the subject. The Lizzy Bennett from the original would have been by his side up until she decided she didn't want to continue but that wasn't how this happened. Overall, just too off for me.
I gave 3 stars because it was an original storyline that had a solid plot and details. I just don't think it was written as well as some.
February 5, 2024
Algo en ella atraía mi mirada con más fuerza que cualquier obra de arte que hubiera contemplado jamás. Ella era el centro de mi universo, mi exquisita Venus, mi audaz Atenea, y yo no era más que un admirador atónito.💕
--------------------
El señor Darcy se roba un beso🙊
--------------------
✨Fitzwilliam Darcy
Cosas que nunca he hecho (hasta esta semana):
1. Irrumpir en una casa (pero tenía permiso)🫣
2. Abrirme la cabeza. (No fue culpa mía) 3. Fingí ser un ladrón. (En mi defensa, fue para salvar la reputación de una dama)😑
4. Besé a una desconoci🤨da. (No me afectó en absoluto. Casi siempre)
5. Pagué el rescate de un rey por una escultura que podía o no ser auténtica. (Entré en pánico. Véase más arriba)🥲
6. Accedí a robar dicha escultura para evitar que me pusieran la soga al cuello. (No tengo nada)🙈
7. Besé a una...
Quizás ella ya no sea una extraña.🫢
--------------------
¿Es esa una promesa o una amenaza, señorita Elizabeth?🫥👀
»»»»
🗨️Opinión:
Lo ame, jajajaja fue un libro muy divertido y distinto a la trama habitual.
Esta vez el Señor Bennet se dedica a crear esculturas, jarrones y demás para venderlos como "originales" cuando no lo son.
Gracias a esto Darcy se da a la tarea de descubrir la vil mentira, pero en el camino se encontrará a Elizabeth, la cuál hará todo para proteger a su padre. 😂🙊
Comedia, romance, momentos de roncom, de verdad lo disfrute y se lee muy rápido.
Si deseas algo ligero y con un toque de familiaridad, esta historia es para ti 💜💞
Mi calificación es ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
--------------------
El señor Darcy se roba un beso🙊
--------------------
✨Fitzwilliam Darcy
Cosas que nunca he hecho (hasta esta semana):
1. Irrumpir en una casa (pero tenía permiso)🫣
2. Abrirme la cabeza. (No fue culpa mía) 3. Fingí ser un ladrón. (En mi defensa, fue para salvar la reputación de una dama)😑
4. Besé a una desconoci🤨da. (No me afectó en absoluto. Casi siempre)
5. Pagué el rescate de un rey por una escultura que podía o no ser auténtica. (Entré en pánico. Véase más arriba)🥲
6. Accedí a robar dicha escultura para evitar que me pusieran la soga al cuello. (No tengo nada)🙈
7. Besé a una...
Quizás ella ya no sea una extraña.🫢
--------------------
¿Es esa una promesa o una amenaza, señorita Elizabeth?🫥👀
»»»»
🗨️Opinión:
Lo ame, jajajaja fue un libro muy divertido y distinto a la trama habitual.
Esta vez el Señor Bennet se dedica a crear esculturas, jarrones y demás para venderlos como "originales" cuando no lo son.
Gracias a esto Darcy se da a la tarea de descubrir la vil mentira, pero en el camino se encontrará a Elizabeth, la cuál hará todo para proteger a su padre. 😂🙊
Comedia, romance, momentos de roncom, de verdad lo disfrute y se lee muy rápido.
Si deseas algo ligero y con un toque de familiaridad, esta historia es para ti 💜💞
Mi calificación es ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
December 31, 2023
Audiobook 2.5 stars— abandoned at 25%.
This book is definitely amusing and to be fair my less favorable review may be due in part to the poor quality of the audiobook reading. However I’ve read the original Pride and Prejudice several times plus several sequels and parallel retellings. The best ones read like a love letter to the original even as they put forward fresh ideas and stories. …And unfortunately this one doesn’t compare favorably.
While the writing is sometimes laugh out loud funny, it reads like the author has only watched a movie adaptation of the source material. I suspect that the Pride and Prejudice format was just a means to sell a concept that wasn’t otherwise getting traction with publishers. That’s really unfortunate because I think this might actually have been a better story without borrowing another author’s characters.
This book is definitely amusing and to be fair my less favorable review may be due in part to the poor quality of the audiobook reading. However I’ve read the original Pride and Prejudice several times plus several sequels and parallel retellings. The best ones read like a love letter to the original even as they put forward fresh ideas and stories. …And unfortunately this one doesn’t compare favorably.
While the writing is sometimes laugh out loud funny, it reads like the author has only watched a movie adaptation of the source material. I suspect that the Pride and Prejudice format was just a means to sell a concept that wasn’t otherwise getting traction with publishers. That’s really unfortunate because I think this might actually have been a better story without borrowing another author’s characters.
October 13, 2023
Cute read, and I did finish it, but I must be alone in my reaction to the whole premise. Does the author call it a Pride and Prejudice Variation in order to keep character names and situations, maintain relationships, yet totally change personalities; and after all that, escape copyright accusations? I mean come on: Mr. Bennett, the ever- escaping mayhem book addict, forging artifacts? As un-"variation" as the one that portrayed Jane as a well, female dog.
My one satisfaction in this was that Darcy and Elizabeth fell for each other early on, even despite mistaken identity. That was/is a variation, maintaining Elizabeth's inclination to rush to judgement.
My one satisfaction in this was that Darcy and Elizabeth fell for each other early on, even despite mistaken identity. That was/is a variation, maintaining Elizabeth's inclination to rush to judgement.
November 13, 2023
Pride and Prejudice meets How to Steal a Million (one of Audrey Hepburn’s lesser known movies but also one of her best). I decided to read this because the description reminded me of the film and what I discovered was a plot so similar to the Hepburn movie I cannot believe it was unintentional or accidental.
It seems a little shady to me to retell two masterpieces but only give recognition to one.
It’s a cute little story but doesn’t come close to either of its inspirations.
It seems a little shady to me to retell two masterpieces but only give recognition to one.
It’s a cute little story but doesn’t come close to either of its inspirations.
February 10, 2024
Comedia romántica, ligera, corta y fácil de leer.
Cumple con el cometido de entretener y pasar un buen rato.
¿Quién no ama al señor Darcy?😍❤️
Cumple con el cometido de entretener y pasar un buen rato.
¿Quién no ama al señor Darcy?😍❤️
jaff-tbr
March 12, 2025My Library Notes:
Mr. Darcy Steals a Kiss (and Some Other Stuff)
by Alix James
Kindle Edition, 223 pages
Published December 26, 2022 by Winsome Wit Publishing
ASIN: B0BNK2PJJR
My family is about to be ruined, and the only person who can help me is a burglar whose kisses make me forget my own name.
Elizabeth Bennet
My father is a fraud. There, I've confessed it. Jane and I are the only ones who know that he fakes "ancient Greek vases" and sells them to unsuspecting buyers for exorbitant sums to keep our mother in pin money. I don't even have time for flirtations and courtships like other girls because I'm so worried that someday, he'll sell one of his fake artifacts to the wrong person.
But I never thought it would go this badly.
His latest brilliant scheme is to sell a "rare and valuable” sculpture to someone whose name starts with "Prince," (yes, that Prince!). And that's just the beginning of the trouble. Now, we have a burglar on the loose, a "ladyship" who wants to squeeze into the action, a pompous fool who wants to marry me just to get his hands on my father's collection, and a royal who will not think any of this is funny.
It's pretty sad when the most trustworthy person of the whole lot is the burglar.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Things I have never done (until this wee):
1. Broken into a house. (But I sort of had permission.)
2. Split my head open. (Totally not my fault)
3. Pretended to be a burglar. (In my defense, it was to save a lady's reputation.)
4. Kissed a stranger. (It didn't affect me at all. Mostly)
5. Paid a king's ransom for a sculpture that may or may not be genuine. (I panicked. See above.)
6. Agreed to steal said sculpture to keep my neck out of a noose. (I've got nothing)
7. Kissed a...
Perhaps she's not a stranger anymore.
Mr. Darcy Steals a Kiss (and Some Other Stuff)
by Alix James
Kindle Edition, 223 pages
Published December 26, 2022 by Winsome Wit Publishing
ASIN: B0BNK2PJJR
My family is about to be ruined, and the only person who can help me is a burglar whose kisses make me forget my own name.
Elizabeth Bennet
My father is a fraud. There, I've confessed it. Jane and I are the only ones who know that he fakes "ancient Greek vases" and sells them to unsuspecting buyers for exorbitant sums to keep our mother in pin money. I don't even have time for flirtations and courtships like other girls because I'm so worried that someday, he'll sell one of his fake artifacts to the wrong person.
But I never thought it would go this badly.
His latest brilliant scheme is to sell a "rare and valuable” sculpture to someone whose name starts with "Prince," (yes, that Prince!). And that's just the beginning of the trouble. Now, we have a burglar on the loose, a "ladyship" who wants to squeeze into the action, a pompous fool who wants to marry me just to get his hands on my father's collection, and a royal who will not think any of this is funny.
It's pretty sad when the most trustworthy person of the whole lot is the burglar.
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Things I have never done (until this wee):
1. Broken into a house. (But I sort of had permission.)
2. Split my head open. (Totally not my fault)
3. Pretended to be a burglar. (In my defense, it was to save a lady's reputation.)
4. Kissed a stranger. (It didn't affect me at all. Mostly)
5. Paid a king's ransom for a sculpture that may or may not be genuine. (I panicked. See above.)
6. Agreed to steal said sculpture to keep my neck out of a noose. (I've got nothing)
7. Kissed a...
Perhaps she's not a stranger anymore.
Read
May 4, 2024I got 75 pages in when I decided to call it. So content is based on what I got through.
Content:
Language: Mild. I think there was one swear and definitely one use of a crude British word.
Violence: Higher mild. Bloody/broken noses, broken stitched up heads, and blood on clothes depicted.
Sexual: Higher Mild to low moderate. While the kissing that happens is 'clean', there is a fair amount of suggestive language. Ex: there is a statue of Eros and Psyche and they describe it as erotic and that it 'put fantasies' in Lizzie's head. Darcy also talks about Elizabeth's figure and such in suggestive terms and stares at her chest etc.
As lady Catherine would say, "I am most displeased" with this story. I'm not rating it, as I just couldn't finish. But not only was it utterly ridiculous in the set up with Mr. Bennet being some sort of art forging master, but Mr. Darcy is now an expert on ancient antiquities? I could have overlooked that as being funny and whimsical if the entire historical accuracy wasn't thrown out the window and blown down the lane never to be seen again.
The language used isn't period accurate, and the propriety of the times for the classes depicted was taken as a suggestion. I get that this is supposed to be a total fluff and nonsense piece, I was prepared for that, but what really killed it for me was the total butcher of the characters. It would've been better if the author had just done her own random regency characters rather than put this as a Pride and Prejudice variation. Instead of it being entertaining, as so many others seemed to find it, for me, it was annoying. And totally flubbed any sort of romance by making it lusty right at the start.
I'm heartily frustrated, hence why I've called a DNF for my own sake.
Yeesh.
Content:
Language: Mild. I think there was one swear and definitely one use of a crude British word.
Violence: Higher mild. Bloody/broken noses, broken stitched up heads, and blood on clothes depicted.
Sexual: Higher Mild to low moderate. While the kissing that happens is 'clean', there is a fair amount of suggestive language. Ex: there is a statue of Eros and Psyche and they describe it as erotic and that it 'put fantasies' in Lizzie's head. Darcy also talks about Elizabeth's figure and such in suggestive terms and stares at her chest etc.
As lady Catherine would say, "I am most displeased" with this story. I'm not rating it, as I just couldn't finish. But not only was it utterly ridiculous in the set up with Mr. Bennet being some sort of art forging master, but Mr. Darcy is now an expert on ancient antiquities? I could have overlooked that as being funny and whimsical if the entire historical accuracy wasn't thrown out the window and blown down the lane never to be seen again.
The language used isn't period accurate, and the propriety of the times for the classes depicted was taken as a suggestion. I get that this is supposed to be a total fluff and nonsense piece, I was prepared for that, but what really killed it for me was the total butcher of the characters. It would've been better if the author had just done her own random regency characters rather than put this as a Pride and Prejudice variation. Instead of it being entertaining, as so many others seemed to find it, for me, it was annoying. And totally flubbed any sort of romance by making it lusty right at the start.
I'm heartily frustrated, hence why I've called a DNF for my own sake.
Yeesh.
January 17, 2024
Absolutely delightful
I don't know if I've ever described anything in those terms before, but it is 100% the truth.
This wasn't my first Nicole Clarkston/Alix James read, but it is by far my favorite. This story is an alternate P&P where we already know and love Darcy and Elizabeth, but nearly everything else is different. Elizabeth is hiding her father's secret about his counterfeit art and Darcy has been called upon to inspect some at Netherfield. Darcy and Elizabeth accidentally stumble upon one another and she supposes he is a thief.
Operating under this misconception, their paths continue to cross until they need each other to each solve their own problem surrounding a sculpture that Prinny is interested it. Along the way, they also develop a need for one another and enjoy a lot of laugh-out-loud and witty exchanges.
If you enjoy a verbose Darcy and a sassy Elizabeth with just the right dose of the ODC we love, but also enough to feel totally new and to make you fall in love with them again, then this is the variation for you. I think if you aren't even a JAFF fan, this book hits all the right notes.
I don't know if I've ever described anything in those terms before, but it is 100% the truth.
This wasn't my first Nicole Clarkston/Alix James read, but it is by far my favorite. This story is an alternate P&P where we already know and love Darcy and Elizabeth, but nearly everything else is different. Elizabeth is hiding her father's secret about his counterfeit art and Darcy has been called upon to inspect some at Netherfield. Darcy and Elizabeth accidentally stumble upon one another and she supposes he is a thief.
Operating under this misconception, their paths continue to cross until they need each other to each solve their own problem surrounding a sculpture that Prinny is interested it. Along the way, they also develop a need for one another and enjoy a lot of laugh-out-loud and witty exchanges.
If you enjoy a verbose Darcy and a sassy Elizabeth with just the right dose of the ODC we love, but also enough to feel totally new and to make you fall in love with them again, then this is the variation for you. I think if you aren't even a JAFF fan, this book hits all the right notes.
January 5, 2023
Fabulous!
Mr Bennett has a hobby of creating fake antique vases, and even dabbles in fake sculpture. Darcy is somewhat of an expert in identifying true antiquities, and he's sent to Hertfordshire by his uncle, the Earl of Matlock, to determine if a statue being sold to the Prince by Mr Bennett is authentic or fake. Bingley leases Netherfield, and wants Darcy's opinion about some antique vases. Darcy meets Elizabeth while inspecting Bingley's new home.
This story is funny from start to finish, and that's such a rare treat. The story is told in the first person, alternating between Elizabeth and Darcy, and the back and forth banter is superb. The comedy is somewhat slapstick, and is a case of mistaken identity and mistaken presumptions. I was smiling the entire time that I was reading, and just had a great time.
The book is well written and well edited. I recommend it highly.
Mr Bennett has a hobby of creating fake antique vases, and even dabbles in fake sculpture. Darcy is somewhat of an expert in identifying true antiquities, and he's sent to Hertfordshire by his uncle, the Earl of Matlock, to determine if a statue being sold to the Prince by Mr Bennett is authentic or fake. Bingley leases Netherfield, and wants Darcy's opinion about some antique vases. Darcy meets Elizabeth while inspecting Bingley's new home.
This story is funny from start to finish, and that's such a rare treat. The story is told in the first person, alternating between Elizabeth and Darcy, and the back and forth banter is superb. The comedy is somewhat slapstick, and is a case of mistaken identity and mistaken presumptions. I was smiling the entire time that I was reading, and just had a great time.
The book is well written and well edited. I recommend it highly.
January 6, 2023
Outrageously off canon
I was all set to dislike this one from one of my favorite fanfic authors because it was so far from canon, but Darcy was so modern and cute and Lizzy so witty and brash, I grew to love it as I smiled my way through their antics as they try to save their reputations and regain Mr Bennet's statue. There seemed to be one oversight that took me out of the story for which I should deduct a half a star, and that was Elizabeth's ability to sew Darcy's gash with a needle and thread at an empty Netherfield. I doubt she carried her sewing with her as she went to Netherfield with her uncle to look at the pottery. And there wouldn't have been a sewing work basket laying around in an empty house. That should be explained somehow. If it was, I missed it. But it is an entertaining, well written novella that all but an absolute purist will enjoy.
I was all set to dislike this one from one of my favorite fanfic authors because it was so far from canon, but Darcy was so modern and cute and Lizzy so witty and brash, I grew to love it as I smiled my way through their antics as they try to save their reputations and regain Mr Bennet's statue. There seemed to be one oversight that took me out of the story for which I should deduct a half a star, and that was Elizabeth's ability to sew Darcy's gash with a needle and thread at an empty Netherfield. I doubt she carried her sewing with her as she went to Netherfield with her uncle to look at the pottery. And there wouldn't have been a sewing work basket laying around in an empty house. That should be explained somehow. If it was, I missed it. But it is an entertaining, well written novella that all but an absolute purist will enjoy.
July 31, 2024
This is one hilarious book. If you are looking for regency rules adhering stuff its not for you. Its an AU story where Darcy and E meets before Bingley comes to Netherfield to live but after he has signed up the lease.
Darcy is an expert on Art work and Bingley enlists his help for valuation of few items in Netherfield. They sneak in due to various reasons and E encounters D and promptly considers him a thief. In fact 'The thief' who is notorious in Meryton for stealing stuff and kissing the Lady of the house senseless. What we then get is a hilarious ride of stolen stuff, fake artifacts, an ingenious heist and the prince regent himself. Wickham is also in the story and serves his purpose
do read it for fun and not for strict regency portrayal
Darcy is an expert on Art work and Bingley enlists his help for valuation of few items in Netherfield. They sneak in due to various reasons and E encounters D and promptly considers him a thief. In fact 'The thief' who is notorious in Meryton for stealing stuff and kissing the Lady of the house senseless. What we then get is a hilarious ride of stolen stuff, fake artifacts, an ingenious heist and the prince regent himself. Wickham is also in the story and serves his purpose
do read it for fun and not for strict regency portrayal
October 11, 2024
Even thinking about this book makes me smile.
Is this book a serious P&P retelling?
No.
Is it well-researched and historically accurate to the time?
No.
Is it written in the same style as the great Austen herself?
No.
Does any of that matter?
No!
This book is an enchanting piece of nonsense that will keep you grinning the whole way through. Part romance, part heist, it doesn't take itself at all seriously, and I adored it from start to finish. The pacing and dialogue makes it feel very much like a modern day rom com taking a spin in Regency Britain. I read it from start to finish in one sitting, and throughly enjoyed every second of it.
This is well worth the read.
Is this book a serious P&P retelling?
No.
Is it well-researched and historically accurate to the time?
No.
Is it written in the same style as the great Austen herself?
No.
Does any of that matter?
No!
This book is an enchanting piece of nonsense that will keep you grinning the whole way through. Part romance, part heist, it doesn't take itself at all seriously, and I adored it from start to finish. The pacing and dialogue makes it feel very much like a modern day rom com taking a spin in Regency Britain. I read it from start to finish in one sitting, and throughly enjoyed every second of it.
This is well worth the read.
December 29, 2022
cannot willingly suspend disbelief
The dialogue is witty, the plot is intriguing and well-paced, but the story is set in the wrong century. The lack of chaperonage for Jane and Elizabeth throughout their entire journey is beyond belief. Because the only thing marking this tale as Regency is a cameo by Prinny, the author could easily have set this in the 1890s, subbing the slightly less lecherous Edward VII (then Prince of Wales) for Prinny, and the story would merit five stars.
Bought for permanent collection.
The dialogue is witty, the plot is intriguing and well-paced, but the story is set in the wrong century. The lack of chaperonage for Jane and Elizabeth throughout their entire journey is beyond belief. Because the only thing marking this tale as Regency is a cameo by Prinny, the author could easily have set this in the 1890s, subbing the slightly less lecherous Edward VII (then Prince of Wales) for Prinny, and the story would merit five stars.
Bought for permanent collection.
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