Warming the Stone Child: Myths & Stories About Abandonment and the Unmothered Child

by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Another underground bestseller from the author of Women Who Run with the Wolves. On Warming the Stone Child, Dr. Estes takes us past the gates of the conscious mind to discover the unmothered child within. Along the way, this gifted storyteller and Jungian analyst illuminates the psychology of abandonment in childhood, how it affects people in later life, and its curious gifts and powers."Important material for those wishing to fan alive the coals glowing within". -- Parenting Magazine

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Spirituality, Self Help, Mythology, Short Stories

1 pages, Audio Cassette

First published January 1, 1990

About the author

An American poet, psychoanalyst and post-trauma specialist who was raised in now nearly vanished oral and ethnic traditions. She is a first-generation American who grew up in a rural village, population 600, near the Great Lakes. Of Mexican mestiza and majority Magyar and minority Swabian tribal heritages, she comes from immigrant and refugee families who could not read or write, or who did so haltingly. Much of her writing is influenced by her family people who were farmers, shepherds, hopsmeisters, wheelwrights, weavers, orchardists, tailors, cabinet makers, lacemakers, knitters, and horsemen and horsewomen from the Old Countries.

Reviews

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this book in less than 24 hours, that's how enlightening it was. Given to me by a mentor, the book is intended for the unmothered child. It expresses the pain that comes with growing up without a loving parent, but also addresses the unique and special gifts that arise from the emotional absence of a guardian. This book was a lovely reminder that love starts within, and that we, individually, can develop a strong and loving internal mother.

[Miya (severe pain struggles, slower at the moment) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is super interesting. I listened to it on audio. The stories are unique. Sometimes it can be emotional for those who have a mother wound. All in all, a good adventure to add to your journey towards healing mother wounds.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this audio Clarrisa Pinkola Estes looks at how those who were neglected or abused - from the little-T to big-T trauma (to use more psych terms) - can thrive, and not just survive in life. She makes use of some tales to illustrate parts of the human psyche, and the possibilities that lie within us to deal with our past hurts and deprivations.

I am certainly not one for story-telling, fairytales, fiction of any sort really, but here Pinkola Estes definitely illustrates how the lines between fiction and 'fact' is simply constructed; the tales of creative minds simply reflecting some of our deepest truths.

The depth and relevance of her chosen stories are evident, and the ease and soothing nature of her voice (I didn't initially think that) and tale-telling allowed then to rest within me as needed.

She clearly speaks form heart and experience. And her Jungian, psychoanalytic training pays off in her being able to translate these tales into views and understandings we can work with in our lives.

[F.T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarissa Pinkola Estes' work has always had a profound effect on me. Whenever I come across one of her books I haven't seen before, I pace around it like a blank canvas for fear of what will come up, whether I'll be able to handle it when it does or, worst of all, that nothing will come up, but will stay frozen or lost in the void. Being a great lover of fairy tales and all such things, I've never experienced the latter after delving into Estes' work -- though sometimes, especially around the issues she uncovers in this particular work, what does come up is so terrifying I would almost rather stay frozen.

After listening to this I felt scattered, as if all my usual bearings had been blown away. It tore me into little pieces...and then put me back together again, like a shamanic initiation. I still feel weird, like something has changed but I can't say what. This feeling might last awhile. But it's all good. I think. Anyway, highly recommended.

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a CD and it is very healing for someone who has felt or been abandoned by their mother. It is a very nurturing tape.

[Deanna Ellis joplin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Her voice doing the reading is a nice treat.

[Jinan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author walks through a, in retrospect, very common psychological wound via various myths throughout history that had been used as a tool to hmm tackle it of sorts. Very jungian, much symbolism, wow.

[S. Harrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy Pinkola-Estes work. She has a way of cutting to the heart of matters in a compassionate and enlightening way. I've listened to several of her series, and they are wonderful. I didn't find this one was insightful as others that she's done. Without question it's the best, most honest assessment of adult survivors of childhood abuse. She tells the story of the abused child without sentiment of sympathy. Rather, she shows total empathy and strength. I took a couple of insightful revelations from it, and for those listening to this series was worth it. I highly recommend this work for anyone who has survived child abuse, or is helping a child cope with such in the present.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Estes voice is so warm and wise. I love simply listening to her. The stories she shares here are healing for everyone coping with a loss of mothering. I am especially grateful of her description of mothering as wise counsel, not necessarily over-compassionate cuddling. This series is intended to help you along the way in creating your own wise inner mother, even when you have few examples to build from.

[Dottie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blew me away just a bit. Echoing conversations I've just had recently with several individuals. Lovely audio with the author's lovely voice and voicing of the stories included. Took me YEARS to finally tackle Women Who Run With the Wolves but so glad I did finally wowrk my way through it as it then led me to this gem.

[Rebecca Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarissa has a love affair with words and stories. She embraces you with them. This is a book on healing. Of breaking through the rock, the defenses to find the treasure. Another read through this book can be read again and again

[Jae · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read books by Clarissa Pinkola Estes before, but I'd never heard her wonderful voice; how supportive and soothing it is, yet so powerful. This books is a treasure, and no doubt will be of benefit to many people.

[Mily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD is BRILLIANT.
I've enjoyed every single book (and audio CD's of her talks)
She is a Junian Analyst and progressive thinker.

[Eartha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I mostly cried through this one, profound and healing...

[Josie Varela · Rating 5 out of 5]

In so few words: if you grew up in a household built upon pain, anger and lack of developmental guidance, this book is for you.

[Saaniya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Breathtaking emotional experience. Perhaps someday I will come back to listen to it again. Her work is so nourishing.

I loved the experience of this.

[Nadia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Дуже коротенька аудіо книжка. Окрім теми, цікава тим, що начитана авторкою, чию книжку "Вовки..." я читала багато років тому. Її голос заспокоює, врівноважує, обіймає і дає надію. :)
P. S. Авторка практикує психоаналіз за Юнгом. Це не науково, але казково (і в буквальному, і в переносному сенсі).
P. P. S. Чи є книжки на тему unFathered child?

[Kate Wileman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I may be Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ biggest fan

[Emily Steffel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Her writing, the stories, her voice. Clarissa Pinkola Estes has given humanity a gift, has given me a gift, with Warming the Stone Child.

[Yaakov · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't think anything I've ever read for children raised by abusive parents has ever resonated as much as this did, and then reframed that childhood in ways that allowed me to see potential and gifts in the past I carry with me. I've never felt so understood. The stories are rich and wonderfully read, and this will not be the only thing I listen to from the wonderfully rich storyteller, Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow this book was so good. I wish it was longer. I love CPE’s work and this was no different. I love the way she explains story and myth and let’s you find things at your own pace. I’m going to listen again because I know there is more to get out of this book.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough about any of Dr. Estes books. This one is no different and captured me from the moment of her voice.

[Rain Jewelle Martin]

brilliant!

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Who has not been abandoned? Wise words and comfort here.

[Sofia · Rating 4 out of 5]

[Sophia Ciocca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This audiobook felt like the warm hug I've been yearning for on this harrowing journey. Estés's voice feels so warm and wise; I felt like she was telling me stories over a campfire, wrapping a cozy sweater around my shoulders and whispering wisdom in my ear.

There are plenty of books and resources out there on abandonment, attachment, child abuse, and childhood neglect; most of these come at the topic from a psychological and scientific point of view. These have been great. But I have been desperately hungering for some sort of guide that could tell me that this journey is about more than just a devastating psychological injury that I'm now stuck trying to "fix" and "heal" for the rest of my life. I've been wanting a mythical context for this journey -- some framing for it that felt redeeming, like maybe there were gifts here, and this was not a car wreck but a birth canal. Clarissa gave me exactly that, and that is the reason this was easily a 5-star read for me.

There were a few things she said that didn't resonate with my own journey (for example, her assertion that good mothering is just wise guidance and *not* abundant warm cuddly nurturing), but on the whole, the stories she told and the interpretations and lessons she gleaned from them spoke so precisely to where I am, in this particular spot on this confusing journey in the dark. I actually was stunned -- the little details and interpretations really landed for me in a way that most authors and articles I've read have not. With the third story (the Inuit story of Warming the Stone Child), especially, it felt like Clarissa was peering at *exactly* where I am psychospiritually and speaking to it.

Highly recommend this for anyone who feels a niggling feeling they did not get the care and nurturing they needed as a child, or anyone who's in a dark night and desperately yearning for a mythic context for this journey of healing abuse.

[PJ]

Via storytelling and archetypes, Dr Estes talks about childhood neglect and abuse and shows warm pathways to healing.

It took me two listens to understand some of the themes, lessons, and threads. Dr Estes tells stories and teaches in a way that is more roundabout than I'm used to, so a second listen helped me understand the reasons behind certain "detours." I've found this to be true for some of her other works, too. Sometimes a story or teaching doesn't make sense in the moment, but then a few days later, some event happens in my own life, and the remembered story comes alive for me.

[Annabel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was therapy homework. It is a painful listen/read but also a healing one. Psychoanalysis of fairy tales have always spoken well to me so this was a good medium to process childhood wounds. The narration is very engaging which helped massively since I've always struggled to focus on audiobooks. I think anyone can find something in this to benefit from, even if there isn't a unresolved mother wound.

[Pinar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nefis tavsiye olunur. Terkedilmişlik, terkedilmişliğin acısı (hem gerçek, hem metaforik olarak) ve kendini iyileştirme üzerine muhteşem hikayeler.. Sanırım tek olumsuz kısmı, kişiyi sonsuza kadar dinlemeye hazır bir hale getirdikten sonra bitiveriyor oluşu.

[Liina Helme · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard it in audible, three times already. If you have any way felt being left alone, or literally been left by your parents, this book gets in deep to unstir the stuck sadness and anger. Beautyful book, beautifulli red in, brings a lot of beauty.