21st Century Boys

by Sue Palmer

A major new insight into the difficulties of raising boys, and how parents can help their sons fulfil their potential. From the author of TOXIC CHILDHOOD.What's happening to boys? At home, they sprawl before a flickering screen, lost in a solitary, sedentary fantasy world; at school, the choice of role seems limited to nerd or thug, bullied or bullying. By the time they reach their teens, the chances of depression, self-harm, drug or alcohol abuse grow each year. Raising boys has never been more difficult.For the sake of their sons, parents need to know the facts about how boys develop and how best to protect them from the damaging effects of modern life. Sue Palmer assesses the issues currently confronting boys from birth to when they leave school, and explains how we can all help to ensure they emerge as healthy, normal adults. Based on the latest research from around the world, 21st CENTURY BOYS provides parents, teachers and others with a clear pathway to bringing up boys.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Education

342 pages, Paperback

First published May 21, 2009

About the author

Sue Palmer is a former primary headteacher in the Borders of Scotland. She is a literacy specialist, writer, presenter and 'childhood campaigner'. She has written widely on aspects of literacy. She chaired the Scottish Play Commission, served on the Scottish Government's Early Years Task Force and currently chairs the Upstart Scotland campaign.

Reviews

[Aurélien Thomas · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, yeah but no. The whole premise of this book is that boys are innately different from girls based on (here) the work of Simon Baron-Cohen. Now, of course, if you know better when it comes to neurosciences and the so-called 'pink brain vs blue brain' paradigm, then you will know that Simon Baron Cohen's work has been widely discredited, and that there is no such a thing as innate, gender differences. Now, does it mean that this whole book is merely good enough to be reduced to shred? Well, yeah but no.

As the author points out, we live in a culture which is now grossly undermining and demonising of the very positive behaviours that, culturally, were once part of manhood and masculinity. For instance, playing rough-and-tough and indulging in risk-taking behaviours have now been shut down by a risk averse culture where even playgrounds have been impacted by health and safety culture gone mad; and, the code of honour which was once implicitly associated with traditional masculinity (e.g. being gentlemanly, gallant, chivalresque) has all be sneered upon as "benevolent sexism" to be condemned. That's bad enough.

As the author rightly points out too, the triumphing of other societal issues certainly haven't help. Consumerist and marketing pests have been selling on to us all sort of 'junk play' and 'junk toys' reinforcing gender stereotypes; our school curriculum can't be bothered with basic child development anymore; and, adults seem to have developed an intolerance of children as a whole, making for a complete let down of... our boys?

Or our children?

The author argues that it's our boys that are suffering the brunt of such inane mindset and new policies. It's true to an extent but, then again, she believes that boys are innately different than girls and I, as per a new paradigm which has been emerging, certainly don't. As such, I believe that it's not only boys who are let down but, our children as a whole.

Should boys be subjected to a different formal education and schooling as girls? Should they follow different curriculum? Not only do I believe that NO!, they shouldn't; but I also believe that doing so would be a counter-productive way of fostering gender segregation and differentialism when, again, science has been telling us that there is no innate gender differences between boys and girls. But then, so what?

This book rightly points to issues mostly faced by boys and that the current system exacerbates. As such, it's a welcome read. Sadly, though, it relies on bad science and sexist prejudices having been debunked already when it comes to outlining solutions. As such too, then, it's a very (very!) poor arguing. What should we do to help our sons? Well, as with our daughters: throwing into the bin, once and for all, this bogus idea that we are innately different would be a good start! Yet, this book doesn't do that. There.

[Robbie S · Rating 3 out of 5]

It seems compelling and well-argued, but I don't entirely trust it. A gut reaction that is hard to justify. So let me make some clear points about slovenliness. No index. The DNA data referred to on p9 as 'see p31' is not on p31. Emersion on p84 is I suppose meant to be immersion. For a literacy expert, this author has not done her proof-reading very well.

[Rosey Fetherston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of research and common sense in this book, which though a little dated still holds up. All Palmer’s advice for the early years is still very possible in families that have a parent at home, I’m not sure how you could avoid much of what she criticises in the care of boys age 4+ if you have your children in mainstream education. I suspect many of the problems she discusses are significantly worse now than they were in 2009 when the book was published.
Her basic ingredients for confident, caring, responsible men are a safe home, nutritious food, plenty of exercise and plenty of sleep for healthy bodies, and love, language, discipline, play and literacy for healthy social and emotional wellbeing. I found the breaking down of the stages of boyhood helpful, and there were quite a few reminders through the book of why I’m doing what I do.

[Debbie Curtis]

Had started reading this book for work. Then I retired! Nevertheless, very though provoking

[Russio · Rating 3 out of 5]

Egad! I have finished this at long last. Boys are bloody terrible aren't they? What we need is some good old-fashioned common sense. Broken down into advice for parents, teachers and politicians (but not for children themselves) this offers a range of pat answers that often have something to day that is worth hearing but are often far of the mark in their inaccuracy: 21st Century kids listening to gangsta rap - this is surely a long way out of date. What is more galling are that these opinions parade as fact and the evidence is so thin "a researcher says.." etc. In Toxic Childhood Sue Palmer identified the problem. Here, in gendering it, her analysis is diluted. Her biggest issue, however, is that she seems to have lost hope for those who are already teenagers. I work with them - hope is vital!

[Steve Gillway · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a father of an 11 year old I was recommended this book by a friend. It is pretty comprehensive and cogently argued. I would say that she was preaching to the converted with me on many of the issues here. However, her focus on the village aspect means that outside your own family there are things you can do in the wider community. The latter part of the book was the most interesting for me as it deals with older kids. The case studies are useful additions giving an aspect of realism to general theoretical arguments. It is particularly focused on the UK. I would have liked more internationalism.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book but is a dnf for me because I lost interest as I have read similar information before. I would recommend it if you haven't read much on this subject before, but nothing new here if you have.

[Carol Ferro · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating discussion of modern childhood and its effect particularly on boys. Well-written, well-researched and enlightening. Anyone who raises, works with or even lives near boys should give this a read. It explains a lot, without doom-mongering.

[Catherine Drake · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well researched, passionate and insightful book on how boys are struggling in this fearful, technological & consumer obsessed era. She looks at what parents, schools, communities and politicians can do to improve boys' chances of becoming happy well adjusted adults.