52 Things Kids Need from a Dad

52 Things

by Jay Payleitner

“ God, please help me …another game of Candy Land …” Quite a few dads spend time with their kids. However, many have no clue what their kids really need . Enter author Jay Payleitner, veteran dad of five, who’s also struggled with how to build up his children’s lives. His 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad combines straightforward features with step-up-to-the-mark challenges men will And, refreshingly… Dads will feel respected and empowered, and gain confidence to initiate activities that build lifelong positives into their kids. Great gift or men’s group resource!

Genres: Parenting, Family, Nonfiction, Self Help, Christian, Faith, Christian Non Fiction

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Jay Payleitner spent a decade in major market advertising. Learning how people think and doing some fun work. Including creating TV spots for Midway Airlines, Kroger, and Corona Beer. And heading up the creative team that named "SunChips."

But God called him into Christian media. And he became an almost-too-busy freelance producer. For more than a decade, Jay scripted and produced Josh McDowell Radio, Today's Father, Jesus Freaks Radio with TobyMac and Michael Tait, Project Angel Tree with Chuck Colson, and thousands of hours of radio that aired across the country and beyond.

Jay is a long-time affiliate with the National Center for Fathering and nationally-known motivational speaker for Iron Sharpens Iron, marriage conferences, men's retreats, women's events, writers' conferences, and weekend services.

Jay has sold more than half million books including the bestselling 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? His latest -- and perhaps most important release -- is The Jesus Dare.

This June, Waterbrook/Multnomah is releasing the surprising book, The Prayer of Agur.

Jay's books have been translated into French, German, Spanish, Italian, Afrikaans, Indonesian, Slovenian, Polish, and Russian.

He has been a guest multiple times on The Harvest Show, 100 Huntley Street, Moody Radio, Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, Cornerstone TV, and Focus on the Family.

Jay and his high school sweetheart, Rita, live in the Chicago area where they’ve raised five great kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood.

Reviews

[Chip Hunter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of the advice found in this book is obvious. Be there for your kids. Show them love, patience, and kindness. Be a good role model. Teach them how to behave and how to treat others. Teach them a love of learning. Teach them good morals and how to be respectable. These basic concepts of ideal fatherhood are highlighted in each of the 52 short, 2-3 page chapters. Maybe reading this will help some fathers start thinking about all the ways they can be there for their kids, and when the opportunity arises, they may be more likely to step up, but I feel like most dads that care enough to read this book are probably already on board with 95% of the “tips” found here.

The most memorable of the 52 chapters to me was “To catch them in a lie”. Payleitner’s idea is that you want to make that first instance of purposefully lying to a parent such a BIG DEAL that they may never do it again. Most parent’s inclination would be to ignore it (pretend it didn’t happen) or gently chastise a child with rational discourse on why lying is frowned upon. Payleitner thinks you should take the opportunity to put the fear of God (literally) into them and then go on and on about how serious lying is. This is an interesting approach, one that strikes me as a little extreme somehow, but if it works, maybe it is worth considering. My kids are not at that age yet, so I have a couple of years to consider it…

This book is light reading to say the least. There are cute stories, a few novel suggestions, and a lot of basic confidence boosters. Most readers will enjoy it (unless they are offended by Christianity) but I think you should look elsewhere if you’re looking for a book to really make you think. Funnily, the most profound statement in the book comes n the very last paragraph, where Payleitner states that “Your children are your most tangible connection to the future here on Earth. Your legacy remains undefined. It has no limits. It has only potential.” That is a nice thought and definitely worth thinking about.

[Vincent · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a gift from Dee, which came with a disclosure: she already knows I am a great dad, but there seemed to her some useful knowledge for loving fathers. Thanks Dee!

There are many good reminders in this book, mostly about maximizing the very short time we have as fathers with our children, before they are off on their own. Of course the Christian principles and centering your life around Jesus are the main thesis, but the author focused on many practical fathering tips, whether it is setting examples and setting the bar high, administering discipline, swimming with the dolphins (even if you can't afford it) or stopping to catch fire flies (I have already done this one with Nico last summer, but have to admit it was Jessica's idea first).

Other favorite chapters included: to catch them in a lie, tell them the hamster died as soon as it dies, to answer their questions with questions, establishing family traditions, to wait at the next bridge (you will have to read this chapter), to buy them an unicycle, revel in your inner Clark Griswold, teach Knock-Knock jokes, to take the lead on Halloween, to wake them up for a Lunar Eclipse, and my favorite -- to kiss my wife in the kitchen (or every other room in the house).

Again, great reminders, but I hope I was capable of many of these strategies on my own, but I will incorporate a few new ideas.
I am a very lucky dad and husband.

[J. Sebastian · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy book to read, and a reminder of the most important things. It is sad and tough for children whose fathers are overworked, tired, busy, and have no time or patience left for them. We all know that our children are most important, yet it's helpful to be reminded of it in short chapters that focus on simple things a dad should keep in mind, opportunities he should look out for, or ideas for things he might do together with his children. Spend time with them and love them unconditionally.

[Aaron Wong · Rating 3 out of 5]

Payleitner, J. K. (2010). 52 things kids need from a dad. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers.

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - p. 82

Don't freak out, or they won't come to you. - pp. 111-113

Knock-knock jokes - pp. 119-123

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book with lots of tips for being a loving, creative, Christian father. The tips come in the form of 52 short chapters, so you could quickly read one chapter a week, or at a faster pace if you prefer.

[Bobby Baden · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very enjoyable book... Easy to read the short chapters, and each one gives a simple point to really ponder. Lots of variety in topics on how to be a hands-on father.

[Derrick · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to this book which may also cause me to lean in a less favorable way to the book. It seemed less of a book and more a long list of 52 things with a few paragraphs to further explain the quirky and "memorable" way the author chose to share the thought. Then there were what I expect were two pages of knock knock jokes. Between that and other chunks of the book I think that the author was stretching to get this to book length. Some of the 52 ideas seemed similar enough they could've been combined. Most of it all was things that just sitting and having a little common sense or scouring the web or talking to any other father you could come up with the same or a similar list. I think it really comes down to; love your kids by being present and engaged, point them to the Father through word and deed, and have fun in the process both in their missteps and also in your own. It'd probably be a good coffee table book or maybe something to read in a group of dads who aren't all readers.

[Sujit Nathan · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a follower of Christ and as a father I found this book valuable. Most of these 52 things in the book should be common sense, however reading this book helped bring those ideas to the foreground. At times it did feel like this book was advocating "gentile parenting" and avoids disciplinary concepts, but other than that I have no complaints.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely worth reading. There were a number of times I was reading a chapter and realized how important it was for me to put the book away and spend time with my kids. So many great principles, ideas, and practical ways to love my kids. I have a feeling I will reference this book anytime I do something right as a dad of two girls.

[Patrick Hanlon · Rating 2 out of 5]

At times a valuable read on parenting with some basic reminders but the Christian tone, which veers toward fear-based rather than faith-based in the discussion of how to cope with Halloween goes too far in its unwillingness to accommodate varying points of views.

[Jake Manning · Rating 4 out of 5]

A practical book for dads on how to be the father his kids need him to be. It serves as a guide for fathers in the 21st century who especially desire to love and lead his kids to the Lord. It made me encouraged, challenged, and excited to be a dad.
4.3

[Joshua Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

I spent the day reading this book. It was full of humor, Scripture, and practical tips. I loved reading this book today. I feel challenged and renewed. I plan to give this book to new dads. Great light read!

[Greg · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick and great guide for Dad tips, I think it will be good to revisit this list on a yearly basis. I like the simple and often profound ideas the author shares and hope to improve my fathering!

[Kevin Bracy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of good nuggets. Reads as a series of short essays. Hard to get into a consistent flow, but easy to read in small doses. Good reminders of things to do as a Dad.

[Karla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

Quick

Easy read

Like the chicken soup series

[Dave Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Similar thoughts to the Wife book in this series.

[Matt Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for any parent or future parent.

[Zach · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book of reminders. Didn't know it was so Christianity focused when I bought it but some timely Bible verses.

[Jonathan Thornton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for me as a dad of toddlers right now. Lots of great things to think about - I plan to go back through this again many times as the years progress.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Would recommend to any Dad!

[Steven Mandeville · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun read with some good thoughts on being a dad.

[Donald Naylor]

A Must read if you are or plan to be a father.

[Eliézer Salazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

A MUST READ FOR ALL DADS! Very enjoyable and digestible (yet challenging) book that you can divvy up by chapters and become a better dad.

[Bookworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best parenting book for dads I have ever read!

[Natalie Gubler · Rating 2 out of 5]

Probs won’t read again. It felt like a dad brag sometimes and it leaned to old traditional roles of male roles(a little sexist imo) but I do think all men should try to read and I appreciated all the scriptural references.

[Samp]

I loved this book. It made me want to be a better father. It gave me lots, and lots of practical ideas I could implement right away and others I could start saving money for, for the future. I want to be a great dad and I really felt like the author built that same desire into his daily, weekly, and monthly schedules. It was a part of him and his kids were able to recognize it. (At least, that's how it's portrayed in the book by the father, it's an entirely different perspective for the kids.) He also made it feel achievable and not overly burdensome to be a great dad. You don't have to take the kids camping every weekend. You just need to let them know you care and that you're there.

Great book. Every father should read this book.

[Troy Jeffcoat]

Nothing really new...but a nice reminder of the things we dad's need to do for our kids. I really liked all the insertion of a father in the fun development of our kids lives. We can always discipline our children, but can we truly spend quality time with them? I know I don't as much as I should and it really is up to me to change that. I have made a more concious effort to go out of my way and praise my children. We need to remember that we can always see the bad, but how often do we point out the good that they do. If you feel your children do no good, then maybe you need to take a long at yourself.

[Ross Heinricy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am in no way making an exhausted overstatement when I say - this book is the best parenting (for fathers) book I have ever read! This book marks book the 200th book that I have ever read, but it is already in my top f. It is full of challenges, wisdom, provocative ideas, and sound Biblical teaching, making it a must for each and every father (or grandfather) out there! I m going to be using the thoughts of this book for the rest of my life, and the final chapter is the crown jewel of truth for the entire book...get a copy for yourself or for someone else...well go ahead - it's worth every penny!

[Neil Dougherty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad read, not ground breaking. Some useful tips and things to keep in mind for me. Picked it up on recommendation from a friend not knowing it was part Dad tips, part Christian family guidebook. The latter didn't put me off necessarily, but made me realize that there are many approaches to the same problem. At the end of the day the author is probably more secure in his faith than the average American dad. I like his take on a Dad's responsibility to his kids to be creative and spontaneous while also setting boundaries and ground rules.

[Bruce · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a new father I saw this book at an airport and thought this might be a good book for me to read. So I did. It has a lot of cool ideas, like always coming up with a better response for I'm bored, like building stilts or coke and mentos, or like showing the scientific intricacies of life to kids such as a lunar eclipse or a rainbow.

The author however pushed God quite heavily. I would have preferred a secular/practical guide to the title of the book. But it was usually easy to skim over and understood its relevance for some.

All in all quick read with good advice.