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Damned If You Do
Queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore in this horror comedy about a high school stage manager who accidentally sells her soul to a demon.
Seven years ago, Cordelia Scott’s abusive father left without a word, and life has been normal ever since. The seventeen-year-old spends her days stage managing the school play (which is going great, if anyone asks), pining over her best friend, Veronica, and failing one too many pop quizzes.
She’s never been sad that her father left, but she knows something is...missing. When her school guidance counselor, Fred, reveals during a session that he’s actually a demon, she learns that something is indeed a piece of her actual soul. Why? She unwittingly made a deal with him to make her father disappear – then bargained to have the memory erased. To make matters worse, Fred is here to make another Help him with a “little” demonic problem, or she’s doomed to spend eternity in Hell with her father.
The deal? Help Fred neutralize a rival demon, who means to do more harm in her hometown than your average demon deal.
Seven years ago, Cordelia Scott’s abusive father left without a word, and life has been normal ever since. The seventeen-year-old spends her days stage managing the school play (which is going great, if anyone asks), pining over her best friend, Veronica, and failing one too many pop quizzes.
She’s never been sad that her father left, but she knows something is...missing. When her school guidance counselor, Fred, reveals during a session that he’s actually a demon, she learns that something is indeed a piece of her actual soul. Why? She unwittingly made a deal with him to make her father disappear – then bargained to have the memory erased. To make matters worse, Fred is here to make another Help him with a “little” demonic problem, or she’s doomed to spend eternity in Hell with her father.
The deal? Help Fred neutralize a rival demon, who means to do more harm in her hometown than your average demon deal.
345 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 2023
29 people are currently reading
9677 people want to read
About the author
Alex Brown
6 books136 followersAlex Brown (she/her) is a Locus nominated queer biracial Filipino American writer who loves to root for the final girl--especially if she's a monster. Alex's YA Comedy-Horror debut, DAMNED IF YOU DO was a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection and was also selected for Taysha's Reading List.
Alex's YA Horror anthology, THE HOUSE WHERE DEATH LIVES, will be out on August 2024 and is a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection.
Alex's sophmore YA Horror-Comedy, REST IN PEACHES, will be out October 2024.
Alex co-edited the YA Horror anthology NIGHT OF THE LIVING QUEERS. Alex has a short story in the instant Indie Besteller, THE GATHERING DARK.
Alex is also the co-creator of The Bridge, a sci-fi/horror narrative fiction podcast that's had over 1,000,000 downloads to date!
Alex lives in the San Francisco with her partner and three extremely chaotic cats.
Alex's YA Horror anthology, THE HOUSE WHERE DEATH LIVES, will be out on August 2024 and is a Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selection.
Alex's sophmore YA Horror-Comedy, REST IN PEACHES, will be out October 2024.
Alex co-edited the YA Horror anthology NIGHT OF THE LIVING QUEERS. Alex has a short story in the instant Indie Besteller, THE GATHERING DARK.
Alex is also the co-creator of The Bridge, a sci-fi/horror narrative fiction podcast that's had over 1,000,000 downloads to date!
Alex lives in the San Francisco with her partner and three extremely chaotic cats.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 221 reviews
August 8, 2023
3.5 Stars
When Cordelia was 10, she wished for her abusive father to disappear. A demon heard her plea and granted her wish. But in return, he took part of her soul and wiped her memory. Seven years later, that same demon is back to make a new deal. Help him destroy his rival, another demon who wants to wreak havoc on the town, or spend eternity in Hell.
Great idea and concept. I love how the author weaved Filipino folklore into the story. It's something I'm not familiar with and found it intriguing. With that said, I wanted more from the side characters and storyline. Some characters felt superficial or one-dimensional. Also, as others have stated, the romance was underwhelming. There was all this build-up in the beginning but barely went anywhere as the story progressed. Lastly, there were moments when the story got a little too cheesy and corny for my taste.
Overall, a decent YA fantasy. Would recommend it to fans of YA fantasy and paranormal.
***Thank you to NetGalley, Alex Brown, and RB Media, Recorded Books for graciously sending me the audiobook to review. As always, all thoughts are my own.***
When Cordelia was 10, she wished for her abusive father to disappear. A demon heard her plea and granted her wish. But in return, he took part of her soul and wiped her memory. Seven years later, that same demon is back to make a new deal. Help him destroy his rival, another demon who wants to wreak havoc on the town, or spend eternity in Hell.
Great idea and concept. I love how the author weaved Filipino folklore into the story. It's something I'm not familiar with and found it intriguing. With that said, I wanted more from the side characters and storyline. Some characters felt superficial or one-dimensional. Also, as others have stated, the romance was underwhelming. There was all this build-up in the beginning but barely went anywhere as the story progressed. Lastly, there were moments when the story got a little too cheesy and corny for my taste.
Overall, a decent YA fantasy. Would recommend it to fans of YA fantasy and paranormal.
***Thank you to NetGalley, Alex Brown, and RB Media, Recorded Books for graciously sending me the audiobook to review. As always, all thoughts are my own.***
September 2, 2023
This book is horror excellence and none of y'all are ready for it. It's queer and it's funny and it's completely unputdownable!
August 4, 2023
3.5 stars rounded up
Pitched as queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore, Damned if You Do is a YA horror novel that really centers on parental abuse and the misplaced guilt that abused children might carry.
Cordelia is a high school student who is struggling academically, but committed to running the tech side of school plays, and is secretly crushing on her best friend. When she was a tween, her abusive father moved to Florida after trying to kill her, but maybe that's not actually what happened? And of course she lives in a town founded on a supposed deal with a demon, so when she finds out that their guidance counselor is also a demon, she's roped into a complicated mess of life and death, trying to capture a demon.
I think this is a solid debut novel and uses horror as a way to work through this issue of abuse and letting go of a sense of guilt. I didn't go in expecting that element to be so intense and I want to make sure people are aware- she ends up interacting with her abuser in some disturbing ways though I think the ending does a good job of pulling everything together. The inclusion of Filipino folklore was cool too. I wanted a little bit more from the sapphic maybe romance plot arc and I think I was expecting something a bit more campy. This has camp elements, but also a lot of more serious bits. I could see this being turned into a series if it does well! The audio narration is pretty good. I received an audio review copy of this book via NetGalley, all opinions are my own.
Pitched as queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore, Damned if You Do is a YA horror novel that really centers on parental abuse and the misplaced guilt that abused children might carry.
Cordelia is a high school student who is struggling academically, but committed to running the tech side of school plays, and is secretly crushing on her best friend. When she was a tween, her abusive father moved to Florida after trying to kill her, but maybe that's not actually what happened? And of course she lives in a town founded on a supposed deal with a demon, so when she finds out that their guidance counselor is also a demon, she's roped into a complicated mess of life and death, trying to capture a demon.
I think this is a solid debut novel and uses horror as a way to work through this issue of abuse and letting go of a sense of guilt. I didn't go in expecting that element to be so intense and I want to make sure people are aware- she ends up interacting with her abuser in some disturbing ways though I think the ending does a good job of pulling everything together. The inclusion of Filipino folklore was cool too. I wanted a little bit more from the sapphic maybe romance plot arc and I think I was expecting something a bit more campy. This has camp elements, but also a lot of more serious bits. I could see this being turned into a series if it does well! The audio narration is pretty good. I received an audio review copy of this book via NetGalley, all opinions are my own.
May 30, 2022
prepare to be obsessed. rtc!
August 3, 2023
A dramatic cover and an intriguing summary can't make up for inexperienced writing.
The hook is a great one - who wouldn't want to read about demons, soul contracts, and Filipino folklore against the backdrop of high school theater? But the skill to pull off the story well just isn't here.
A lot of the story focuses on an abusive parent and without the writing chops to evoke empathy the whole thing becomes a rough miss. There's no nuance or emotional grit - just repetitive, informative angst played very straightforwardly. Taking out every reminder of Cordelia sending her father to hell and Cordelia dwelling on whether she's a monster would cut the book down by at least a quarter!
Characters are despicable jerks until they're suddenly not. Even the promise of folklore can't save the story - "Filipino folklore" can be boiled down to "there's one supernatural creature from Filipino legend." Granted, it's a cool one! I wanted more of that. I also wanted more of the sapphic romance, which is nice even when the plot dictates that the main character makes inexplicable choices purely to forestall an obviously inevitable relationship.
The book itself suffers from a bit of an identity crisis. The focus on angst ridden teenage romance takes a sudden turn to a dark, violent murder before returning to the regularly scheduled plot laced with one-liners. The characters try so hard to be young and cool and relatable, and end up feeling pretty campy instead.
Some of the problem for me is in the audiobook narrator. I appreciate the attention to different voices for the various characters; I just hate half of the voices used. (why the weird vibrating vocals for Dustin!?) Stretches of exposition are mostly fine, but dialogue often cues a switch to odd cadences that sound like performatively bad actors and not like actual humans talking. Emotion comes through nicely in some scenes, while in others the inflection and volume of a character doesn't match what the writing indicates. It could be much worse! but it's also not an experience I'd like to revisit.
I'm truly sorry to have felt this way about such a promising book. I wanted to love it! but it simply didn't work for me. If not for my copy being an ARC, I would have DNFed.
Thank you to NetGalley and RB Media for an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.
The hook is a great one - who wouldn't want to read about demons, soul contracts, and Filipino folklore against the backdrop of high school theater? But the skill to pull off the story well just isn't here.
A lot of the story focuses on an abusive parent and without the writing chops to evoke empathy the whole thing becomes a rough miss. There's no nuance or emotional grit - just repetitive, informative angst played very straightforwardly. Taking out every reminder of Cordelia sending her father to hell and Cordelia dwelling on whether she's a monster would cut the book down by at least a quarter!
Characters are despicable jerks until they're suddenly not. Even the promise of folklore can't save the story - "Filipino folklore" can be boiled down to "there's one supernatural creature from Filipino legend." Granted, it's a cool one! I wanted more of that. I also wanted more of the sapphic romance, which is nice even when the plot dictates that the main character makes inexplicable choices purely to forestall an obviously inevitable relationship.
The book itself suffers from a bit of an identity crisis. The focus on angst ridden teenage romance takes a sudden turn to a dark, violent murder before returning to the regularly scheduled plot laced with one-liners. The characters try so hard to be young and cool and relatable, and end up feeling pretty campy instead.
Some of the problem for me is in the audiobook narrator. I appreciate the attention to different voices for the various characters; I just hate half of the voices used. (why the weird vibrating vocals for Dustin!?) Stretches of exposition are mostly fine, but dialogue often cues a switch to odd cadences that sound like performatively bad actors and not like actual humans talking. Emotion comes through nicely in some scenes, while in others the inflection and volume of a character doesn't match what the writing indicates. It could be much worse! but it's also not an experience I'd like to revisit.
I'm truly sorry to have felt this way about such a promising book. I wanted to love it! but it simply didn't work for me. If not for my copy being an ARC, I would have DNFed.
Thank you to NetGalley and RB Media for an audio ARC in exchange for an honest review.
July 19, 2023
Thank you to Turn the Page Tours, Alex Brown, and Page Street YA for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
Damned If You Do was a joy to read. It’s no secret that I can’t resist representation in books (especially YA!) that applies to me, so when I saw this was by a queer biracial Filipino American author, clearly I had no choice but to pick this up. I don’t typically read fantasy, or paranormal, or horror, or whatever you want to classify this as, but I’m so glad I gave this debut a shot!
Full of Filipino folklore, complex family dynamics, theater appreciation, and enjoyable characters, Damned If You Do is an exciting, colorful read. The writing was tight but witty and I loved all the action. It’s a fast paced book—I burned through it in less than 24 hours—that isn’t bogged down by excessive world building while still creating a rich atmosphere. A strong debut that looks promising for any future releases from Alex Brown!
Damned If You Do was a joy to read. It’s no secret that I can’t resist representation in books (especially YA!) that applies to me, so when I saw this was by a queer biracial Filipino American author, clearly I had no choice but to pick this up. I don’t typically read fantasy, or paranormal, or horror, or whatever you want to classify this as, but I’m so glad I gave this debut a shot!
Full of Filipino folklore, complex family dynamics, theater appreciation, and enjoyable characters, Damned If You Do is an exciting, colorful read. The writing was tight but witty and I loved all the action. It’s a fast paced book—I burned through it in less than 24 hours—that isn’t bogged down by excessive world building while still creating a rich atmosphere. A strong debut that looks promising for any future releases from Alex Brown!
July 18, 2023
Thank you to Pride Book Tours and Peach Tree Teen for a physical ARC in exchange for an honest review and promotion. All opinions are my own.
Damned if you do is a YA Urban fantasy novel following Filipino American teen, Cordelia Scott. When her guidance counselor turns out to be a demon, Cordelia learns that when she sent her abusive father to hell she lost part of her soul. In order to get it back she has to help Frank get rid of a rival demon in town.
This book was sooo good!! The pining. The theatre production. The DEMONS!! I loved it all. Especially watching Cordelia attempt to profess her crush to her best friend Veronica. I also loved the Filipino folklore that was present. I’m a sucker for mythology and it’s siblings so this one did not disappoint on that front. In fact, I need a sequel where Cordelia vanquishes more awful demons and befriends mythical creatures.
This is one you won’t be able to put down once you start. I love Cordelia’s group of friends and her stubborn personality. It’s very much me 💅. If you’re a fan of Shadowhunters, A Dark & Hollow Star or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, add this one to your TBR/preorder list!
CWs: violence, injury/injury detail, religious themes, murder, death, past mentions of child abuse and attempted child murder, fire/fire injury.
Damned if you do is a YA Urban fantasy novel following Filipino American teen, Cordelia Scott. When her guidance counselor turns out to be a demon, Cordelia learns that when she sent her abusive father to hell she lost part of her soul. In order to get it back she has to help Frank get rid of a rival demon in town.
This book was sooo good!! The pining. The theatre production. The DEMONS!! I loved it all. Especially watching Cordelia attempt to profess her crush to her best friend Veronica. I also loved the Filipino folklore that was present. I’m a sucker for mythology and it’s siblings so this one did not disappoint on that front. In fact, I need a sequel where Cordelia vanquishes more awful demons and befriends mythical creatures.
This is one you won’t be able to put down once you start. I love Cordelia’s group of friends and her stubborn personality. It’s very much me 💅. If you’re a fan of Shadowhunters, A Dark & Hollow Star or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, add this one to your TBR/preorder list!
CWs: violence, injury/injury detail, religious themes, murder, death, past mentions of child abuse and attempted child murder, fire/fire injury.
August 7, 2023
check out the full review on my blog!
Damned If You Do is definitely a fun and chaotic urban fantasy, with equal parts horror and comedy. It follows Cordelia as she discovers she made a deal with a demon and lost a part of her soul to get rid of her abusive father. Cordelia has her hands full with being the stage manager for the theatre club’s upcoming play, crushing on her best friend and studying for pop quizzes but now she also has to get rid of the town’s little demonic problem to fulfill her end of the bargain.
This story took one for the team and gave us the full theater production drama and snarky demons trying to wreak havoc. I really liked how Brown played with the history of the town for the premise of the story. Making deals with the devil, intentional or accidental, has always been a thing and that’s how Cordelia lands up in her current predicament, with Fred the demon she made a deal with, posing as her guidance counsellor. Fred is quirky and the perfect father figure for these dramatic teenagers even though you don’t know if you can trust him.
While saving the town is initially on Cordelia, soon her fellow theater kids get roped into the ordeal of facing demonic powers. They form her support system and that friendship development is heartwarming to witness. To top it all of, Cordelia is pining over Veronica, her literal partner in crime, which she believes to be unrequited but is it after all?
The inclusion of Filipino folklore honestly made the story even more fun. We have stories about mythological creatures and Cordelia dealing with said creatures! Aswangs are as interesting as they’re scary. And of course, the biracial rep we deserve.
All in all, Cordelia’s humorous monologues and the epic battle scenes make Damned If You Do a fun read. Because while most of this book deals with demons literally, it’s also about Cordy facing her own inner demons and letting go of the guilt holding her back.
thank you to the publisher for the ARC!
Damned If You Do is definitely a fun and chaotic urban fantasy, with equal parts horror and comedy. It follows Cordelia as she discovers she made a deal with a demon and lost a part of her soul to get rid of her abusive father. Cordelia has her hands full with being the stage manager for the theatre club’s upcoming play, crushing on her best friend and studying for pop quizzes but now she also has to get rid of the town’s little demonic problem to fulfill her end of the bargain.
This story took one for the team and gave us the full theater production drama and snarky demons trying to wreak havoc. I really liked how Brown played with the history of the town for the premise of the story. Making deals with the devil, intentional or accidental, has always been a thing and that’s how Cordelia lands up in her current predicament, with Fred the demon she made a deal with, posing as her guidance counsellor. Fred is quirky and the perfect father figure for these dramatic teenagers even though you don’t know if you can trust him.
While saving the town is initially on Cordelia, soon her fellow theater kids get roped into the ordeal of facing demonic powers. They form her support system and that friendship development is heartwarming to witness. To top it all of, Cordelia is pining over Veronica, her literal partner in crime, which she believes to be unrequited but is it after all?
The inclusion of Filipino folklore honestly made the story even more fun. We have stories about mythological creatures and Cordelia dealing with said creatures! Aswangs are as interesting as they’re scary. And of course, the biracial rep we deserve.
All in all, Cordelia’s humorous monologues and the epic battle scenes make Damned If You Do a fun read. Because while most of this book deals with demons literally, it’s also about Cordy facing her own inner demons and letting go of the guilt holding her back.
thank you to the publisher for the ARC!
Want to read
August 1, 2023Filipino sapphic horror with folklore elements you say? Looks like I have an early birthday present!
August 1, 2023
[I received a free audiobook copy from RB Media, Recorded Books and Netgalley. This review is done freely, honestly and without payment].
[Ich habe ein kostenloses Hörbuchexemplar von RB Media, Recorded Books und Netgalley erhalten. Die Rezension erfolgt freiwillig, ehrlich und ohne Vergütung.]
In which I lied to a priest.
(DEUTSCH WEITER UNTEN)
Summary
Seven years ago, Cordelia Scott’s abusive father left without a word, and life has been normal ever since. The seventeen-year-old spends her days stage managing the school play (which is going great, if anyone asks), pining over her best friend, Veronica, and failing one too many pop quizzes.
She’s never been sad that her father left, but she knows something is...missing. When her school guidance counselor, Fred, reveals during a session that he’s actually a demon, she learns that something is indeed missing: a piece of her actual soul. Why? She unwittingly made a deal with him to make her father disappear – then bargained to have the memory erased. To make matters worse, Fred is here to make another bargain: Help him with a “little” demonic problem, or she’s doomed to spend eternity in Hell with her father.
The deal? Help Fred neutralize a rival demon, who means to do more harm in her hometown than your average demon deal.
.
I think the genre classification „horror“ & „YA“ had me expecting something a little different in terms of atmosphere, but in the end I still enjoyed the book very much.
I can imagine that the book is certainly a bit „scarier“ for younger readers, but for me it was largely just funny and sweet and sometimes hilarious.
Somehow it felt like typical YA fantasy and yet it was refreshing. I liked the idea of demons and neutralize one, because it all reminded me a bit of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. (Also the whole setting in general)
Cordelia and the characters around her all grew on me very quickly and they were just normal teenagers with standard problems. (More or less) All the characterisations were typical, not new or exciting, but you just felt at home immediately. Also, of course, our teens were (mostly) totally brave and faced the supernatural problems and didn’t have a massive breakdown. (Minor ones there were, but who needs major ones when there’s the town to save).
All this is quite illogical, of course, but typical for the genre.
The pacing of the story was fast and so there was always something happening and the action (the horror) didn’t slow down. I personally liked that quite a lot, because it made it clear once again how little time Cordelia actually has to do her job. What I also really liked was that the love interest wasn’t the focus. You knew someone had feelings for someone, but it stayed in the background for the most part. Loved it!
I also liked the humour in the book, even if it was sometimes a bit too forced for me and especially towards the end ... it was just inappropriate and made a mockery of the seriousness of the situation.
Whether I liked the chapter titles or not, I can’t really say. They were somehow very appealing. („In which I lied to a priest“ / „In which I ...“) What bothered me a bit was that they always gave away what was going to happen in the chapter and therefore a bit of tension was lost.
I mean, I liked the way „In which I“ was, because it was just very approachable somehow, but maybe they could have come up with something more subtle there.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed listening to Amielynn Abellera! For me, her reading pace was perfect and I was so fascinated by how she highlighted each character vocally. Maybe some characters sounded a little funny in between, but I loved how well I could tell them all apart and how creative Amielynn Abellera was.
The direct speech was sometimes a little too slow for me to read and Cordelia sounded more aggressive from time to time than the book gave her credit for.
What I particularly liked was how Amielynn Abellera brought out grief and also anger and also that the quality of the audio was really good. <3
All in all, a nice book for YA fans and that’s exactly who I would recommend it to. :)
(DEUTSCH)
Inhalt
Vor sieben Jahren verließ Cordelia Scotts misshandelnder Vater sie ohne ein Wort, und seitdem ist ihr Leben ganz normal verlaufen. Die Siebzehnjährige verbringt ihre Tage damit, die Schulaufführung zu leiten (die großartig läuft, falls jemand fragt), ihrer besten Freundin Veronica nachzutrauern und bei einem Pop-Quiz zu oft durchzufallen.
Sie war nie traurig, dass ihr Vater sie verlassen hat, aber sie weiß, dass etwas... fehlt. Als ihr Schulberater Fred während einer Sitzung enthüllt, dass er eigentlich ein Dämon ist, erfährt sie, dass tatsächlich etwas fehlt: ein Stück ihrer Seele. Und warum? Sie ist unwissentlich einen Pakt mit ihm eingegangen, um ihren Vater verschwinden zu lassen - und hat dann ausgehandelt, dass die Erinnerung daran gelöscht wird. Um die Sache noch schlimmer zu machen, ist Fred hier, um ein weiteres Geschäft zu machen: Sie soll ihm bei einem „kleinen“ dämonischen Problem helfen, oder sie ist dazu verdammt, die Ewigkeit in der Hölle mit ihrem Vater zu verbringen.
Die Abmachung? Hilf Fred, einen rivalisierenden Dämon zu beseitigen, der in ihrer Heimatstadt mehr Schaden anrichten will als der durchschnittliche Dämonendeal.
.
Ich glaube, ich habe mich durch die Genre-Einordnung „Horror“ & „YA“ von der Atmosphäre her ein wenig auf was anderes eingestellt, aber am Ende habe ich das Buch dennoch sehr genossen.
Ich kann mir vorstellen, dass das Buch für jüngere Leser*innen sicherlich ein wenig „gruseliger“ ist, aber für mich war es großteilig einfach nur witzig und süß und manchmal zu Haare raufen.
Irgendwie hat es sich wie typische YA-Fantasy angefühlt und war dennoch erfrischend. Ich mochte die Idee mit den Dämonen und das einer ausgetrieben werden soll, denn all das hat mich ein wenig an „Buffy The Vampire Slayer“ erinnert. (Auch das ganze Setting Drumherum)
Cordelia und die Figuren um sie herum sind mir alle sehr schnell ans Herz gewachsen und sie waren einfach typische Teenager mit typischen Problemen. (Mehr oder weniger) Die ganzen Charakterisierungen waren typischen, nicht neu oder aufregend, aber man hat sich einfach sofort zuhause gefühlt. Auch waren unsere Teens natürlich (meistens) total mutig und haben sich den übernatürlichen Problemen gestellt und haben keinen massiven Breakdown gehabt. (Kleinere gab es schon, aber wer braucht schon Große, wenn es die Stadt zu retten gibt.)
Alls das ist natürlich recht unlogisch, aber typisch fürs Genre.
Das Pacing der Geschichte war schnell und somit ist immer was passiert und die Action (der Horror) hat nicht nachgelassen. Das hat mir persönlich ziemlich gut gefallen, denn es hat noch einmal verdeutlicht, wie wenig Zeit Cordelia eigentlich hat, um ihre Aufgabe zu erledigen.
Was ich auch sehr mochte, war, dass die Liebesbeziehung nicht im Vordergrund stand. Man wusste zwar, dass da jemand für jemanden Gefühle hat, aber es bliebt zumeist im Hintergrund. Liebe dafür!
Ich mochte auch den Humor im Buch, auch wenn mir alles manchmal ein wenig zu aufgesetzt war und vor allem zum Ende hin ... war es einfach unpassend und hat den Ernst der Lage doch in Lächerliche gezogen.
Ob ich die Kapitelüberschriften nun mochte oder nicht, kann ich gar nicht genau sagen. Sie waren irgendwie sehr ansprechend. („In which I lied to a priest“ / „In which I ...“) Was mich halt ein wenig gestört hat, war, dass sie immer schon durch die Blume verraten haben, was so im Kapitel passiert und deshalb ein wenig Spannung verloren ging.
Ich meine, ich mochte die Art und Weise von „In which I“, weil es einfach irgendwie sehr nahbar war, aber vielleicht hätte man sich dort etwas Subtileres einfallen lassen können.
Ich kann gar nicht sagen, wie sehr ich es genossen habe Amielynn Abellera zuzuhören! Für mich war ihr Lesetempo perfekt und ich war so fasziniert davon, wie sie die einzelnen Charaktere stimmlich hervorgehoben hat. Vielleicht hat sich manch eine Figur zwischendurch mal ein wenig ulkig angehört, aber ich habe es geliebt, wie gut ich sie alle auseinanderhalten konnte und wie kreativ Amielynn Abellera war.
Die wörtliche Rede war mir manchmal ein wenig zu langsam gelesen und Cordelia klang von Zeit zu Zeit aggressiver, als das Buch es hergegeben hat.
Was mir besonders gut gefallen hat, war, wie Amielynn Abellera Trauer und auch Wut herausgearbeitet hat und auch, dass die Tonqualität richtig gut war. <3
Alles in allem ein nettes Buch für YA Fans und genau diesen würde ich es auch empfehlen. :)
[Ich habe ein kostenloses Hörbuchexemplar von RB Media, Recorded Books und Netgalley erhalten. Die Rezension erfolgt freiwillig, ehrlich und ohne Vergütung.]
In which I lied to a priest.
(DEUTSCH WEITER UNTEN)
Summary
Seven years ago, Cordelia Scott’s abusive father left without a word, and life has been normal ever since. The seventeen-year-old spends her days stage managing the school play (which is going great, if anyone asks), pining over her best friend, Veronica, and failing one too many pop quizzes.
She’s never been sad that her father left, but she knows something is...missing. When her school guidance counselor, Fred, reveals during a session that he’s actually a demon, she learns that something is indeed missing: a piece of her actual soul. Why? She unwittingly made a deal with him to make her father disappear – then bargained to have the memory erased. To make matters worse, Fred is here to make another bargain: Help him with a “little” demonic problem, or she’s doomed to spend eternity in Hell with her father.
The deal? Help Fred neutralize a rival demon, who means to do more harm in her hometown than your average demon deal.
.
I think the genre classification „horror“ & „YA“ had me expecting something a little different in terms of atmosphere, but in the end I still enjoyed the book very much.
I can imagine that the book is certainly a bit „scarier“ for younger readers, but for me it was largely just funny and sweet and sometimes hilarious.
Somehow it felt like typical YA fantasy and yet it was refreshing. I liked the idea of demons and neutralize one, because it all reminded me a bit of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. (Also the whole setting in general)
Cordelia and the characters around her all grew on me very quickly and they were just normal teenagers with standard problems. (More or less) All the characterisations were typical, not new or exciting, but you just felt at home immediately. Also, of course, our teens were (mostly) totally brave and faced the supernatural problems and didn’t have a massive breakdown. (Minor ones there were, but who needs major ones when there’s the town to save).
All this is quite illogical, of course, but typical for the genre.
The pacing of the story was fast and so there was always something happening and the action (the horror) didn’t slow down. I personally liked that quite a lot, because it made it clear once again how little time Cordelia actually has to do her job. What I also really liked was that the love interest wasn’t the focus. You knew someone had feelings for someone, but it stayed in the background for the most part. Loved it!
I also liked the humour in the book, even if it was sometimes a bit too forced for me and especially towards the end ... it was just inappropriate and made a mockery of the seriousness of the situation.
Whether I liked the chapter titles or not, I can’t really say. They were somehow very appealing. („In which I lied to a priest“ / „In which I ...“) What bothered me a bit was that they always gave away what was going to happen in the chapter and therefore a bit of tension was lost.
I mean, I liked the way „In which I“ was, because it was just very approachable somehow, but maybe they could have come up with something more subtle there.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed listening to Amielynn Abellera! For me, her reading pace was perfect and I was so fascinated by how she highlighted each character vocally. Maybe some characters sounded a little funny in between, but I loved how well I could tell them all apart and how creative Amielynn Abellera was.
The direct speech was sometimes a little too slow for me to read and Cordelia sounded more aggressive from time to time than the book gave her credit for.
What I particularly liked was how Amielynn Abellera brought out grief and also anger and also that the quality of the audio was really good. <3
All in all, a nice book for YA fans and that’s exactly who I would recommend it to. :)
(DEUTSCH)
Inhalt
Vor sieben Jahren verließ Cordelia Scotts misshandelnder Vater sie ohne ein Wort, und seitdem ist ihr Leben ganz normal verlaufen. Die Siebzehnjährige verbringt ihre Tage damit, die Schulaufführung zu leiten (die großartig läuft, falls jemand fragt), ihrer besten Freundin Veronica nachzutrauern und bei einem Pop-Quiz zu oft durchzufallen.
Sie war nie traurig, dass ihr Vater sie verlassen hat, aber sie weiß, dass etwas... fehlt. Als ihr Schulberater Fred während einer Sitzung enthüllt, dass er eigentlich ein Dämon ist, erfährt sie, dass tatsächlich etwas fehlt: ein Stück ihrer Seele. Und warum? Sie ist unwissentlich einen Pakt mit ihm eingegangen, um ihren Vater verschwinden zu lassen - und hat dann ausgehandelt, dass die Erinnerung daran gelöscht wird. Um die Sache noch schlimmer zu machen, ist Fred hier, um ein weiteres Geschäft zu machen: Sie soll ihm bei einem „kleinen“ dämonischen Problem helfen, oder sie ist dazu verdammt, die Ewigkeit in der Hölle mit ihrem Vater zu verbringen.
Die Abmachung? Hilf Fred, einen rivalisierenden Dämon zu beseitigen, der in ihrer Heimatstadt mehr Schaden anrichten will als der durchschnittliche Dämonendeal.
.
Ich glaube, ich habe mich durch die Genre-Einordnung „Horror“ & „YA“ von der Atmosphäre her ein wenig auf was anderes eingestellt, aber am Ende habe ich das Buch dennoch sehr genossen.
Ich kann mir vorstellen, dass das Buch für jüngere Leser*innen sicherlich ein wenig „gruseliger“ ist, aber für mich war es großteilig einfach nur witzig und süß und manchmal zu Haare raufen.
Irgendwie hat es sich wie typische YA-Fantasy angefühlt und war dennoch erfrischend. Ich mochte die Idee mit den Dämonen und das einer ausgetrieben werden soll, denn all das hat mich ein wenig an „Buffy The Vampire Slayer“ erinnert. (Auch das ganze Setting Drumherum)
Cordelia und die Figuren um sie herum sind mir alle sehr schnell ans Herz gewachsen und sie waren einfach typische Teenager mit typischen Problemen. (Mehr oder weniger) Die ganzen Charakterisierungen waren typischen, nicht neu oder aufregend, aber man hat sich einfach sofort zuhause gefühlt. Auch waren unsere Teens natürlich (meistens) total mutig und haben sich den übernatürlichen Problemen gestellt und haben keinen massiven Breakdown gehabt. (Kleinere gab es schon, aber wer braucht schon Große, wenn es die Stadt zu retten gibt.)
Alls das ist natürlich recht unlogisch, aber typisch fürs Genre.
Das Pacing der Geschichte war schnell und somit ist immer was passiert und die Action (der Horror) hat nicht nachgelassen. Das hat mir persönlich ziemlich gut gefallen, denn es hat noch einmal verdeutlicht, wie wenig Zeit Cordelia eigentlich hat, um ihre Aufgabe zu erledigen.
Was ich auch sehr mochte, war, dass die Liebesbeziehung nicht im Vordergrund stand. Man wusste zwar, dass da jemand für jemanden Gefühle hat, aber es bliebt zumeist im Hintergrund. Liebe dafür!
Ich mochte auch den Humor im Buch, auch wenn mir alles manchmal ein wenig zu aufgesetzt war und vor allem zum Ende hin ... war es einfach unpassend und hat den Ernst der Lage doch in Lächerliche gezogen.
Ob ich die Kapitelüberschriften nun mochte oder nicht, kann ich gar nicht genau sagen. Sie waren irgendwie sehr ansprechend. („In which I lied to a priest“ / „In which I ...“) Was mich halt ein wenig gestört hat, war, dass sie immer schon durch die Blume verraten haben, was so im Kapitel passiert und deshalb ein wenig Spannung verloren ging.
Ich meine, ich mochte die Art und Weise von „In which I“, weil es einfach irgendwie sehr nahbar war, aber vielleicht hätte man sich dort etwas Subtileres einfallen lassen können.
Ich kann gar nicht sagen, wie sehr ich es genossen habe Amielynn Abellera zuzuhören! Für mich war ihr Lesetempo perfekt und ich war so fasziniert davon, wie sie die einzelnen Charaktere stimmlich hervorgehoben hat. Vielleicht hat sich manch eine Figur zwischendurch mal ein wenig ulkig angehört, aber ich habe es geliebt, wie gut ich sie alle auseinanderhalten konnte und wie kreativ Amielynn Abellera war.
Die wörtliche Rede war mir manchmal ein wenig zu langsam gelesen und Cordelia klang von Zeit zu Zeit aggressiver, als das Buch es hergegeben hat.
Was mir besonders gut gefallen hat, war, wie Amielynn Abellera Trauer und auch Wut herausgearbeitet hat und auch, dass die Tonqualität richtig gut war. <3
Alles in allem ein nettes Buch für YA Fans und genau diesen würde ich es auch empfehlen. :)
October 27, 2023
This was such a FUN YA horror/thriller that sees a queer Filipino American teen forced to become a demon hunter when she discovers she accidentally made a deal with a demon and he's come to collect.
If Cordelia Scott wants to get her soul back and help save her town she has to figure out how to banish her demon's rival all while dealing with complicated romantic feelings for her best friend and trauma over the abusive father she got sent to hell. Great on audio and perfect for Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review! This was a perfect #SpookySeason read with diverse characters and a great balance of humor and horror! I would definitely read more by this author in the future!!
If Cordelia Scott wants to get her soul back and help save her town she has to figure out how to banish her demon's rival all while dealing with complicated romantic feelings for her best friend and trauma over the abusive father she got sent to hell. Great on audio and perfect for Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans.
Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early audio copy in exchange for my honest review! This was a perfect #SpookySeason read with diverse characters and a great balance of humor and horror! I would definitely read more by this author in the future!!
August 7, 2023
7 years ago, Cordelia’s mentally and physically abusive moved to Florida out of nowhere. And looking back on a statement like that, it almost sounds like when you were younger and your parents tell you that your dog is out running around a big farm and you won’t see them again… as an adult, it sounds ridiculous, because why would they just be gone? As a child, it makes sense.
So when she’s called into her guidance counselor’s office for a talk about her less than stellar grades, she’s woken to the memory of what ACTUALLY happened all of those years ago. One burn on the corner of a rug and a repressed memory returns like 🫰💥!!
The little town she lives in has an urban legend about how the founder summoned a demon… but what if everyone knew that tale they thought was make believe is all set in reality? And that they could get whatever they wanted… for a small fee, of course.
This was a fast paced YA Horror that gave me Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes, but if they were all thespians putting on “Our Town”. The story has bases in Filipino folklore, which I looooooooove!! Also, if you knew me, you’d know that I was a theater kid all through school, so I enjoy books with this setting.
And to top it all off, Cordelia is in love with her best friend Veronica. So not only are we getting Buffy vibes, Filipino folklore, and theater kids, but it’s SAPPHIC!!!! It was everything I wanted and more!!! 😍 My little queer heart can’t take it!
So when she’s called into her guidance counselor’s office for a talk about her less than stellar grades, she’s woken to the memory of what ACTUALLY happened all of those years ago. One burn on the corner of a rug and a repressed memory returns like 🫰💥!!
The little town she lives in has an urban legend about how the founder summoned a demon… but what if everyone knew that tale they thought was make believe is all set in reality? And that they could get whatever they wanted… for a small fee, of course.
This was a fast paced YA Horror that gave me Buffy the Vampire Slayer vibes, but if they were all thespians putting on “Our Town”. The story has bases in Filipino folklore, which I looooooooove!! Also, if you knew me, you’d know that I was a theater kid all through school, so I enjoy books with this setting.
And to top it all off, Cordelia is in love with her best friend Veronica. So not only are we getting Buffy vibes, Filipino folklore, and theater kids, but it’s SAPPHIC!!!! It was everything I wanted and more!!! 😍 My little queer heart can’t take it!
October 26, 2024
3.5 stars rounded up.
This was such a fun YA novel with witty dialogue and funny characters! It did really well balancing lighthearted moments with heavier, emotional moments.
It excelled with portraying teen emotions. The MC, Cordelia, feels a lot of guilt and angst for what she did to her abusive father, and I thought that was portrayed really well.
The cast of characters were fun, although most felt very one-dimensional. The only two characters that were well-rounded were Cordelia and Fred, the school counselor/demon. Everyone else gave me filler character vibes, even the love interest, Veronica. But even then, the dialogue and interactions were written well.
I loved the theater production aspect of the story. It was woven so neatly into the storyline that it felt natural and not forced. Everyone involved in the play was funny to an extent and had loud personalities.
The second half lagged for me because it was really tropey. Everything unfolded as it should've and there weren't really any fun plot twists to keep me on my toes.
I liked the inclusion of Filipino mythology, even though it was very light. Cordelia had a kalis blade and there was an aswang. I wish there was more.
The audiobook narrator just didn't do it for me. They had a strange way of narrating dialogue and different character's voices that was very stilted, like they were reading word for word on a script. It didn't feel natural at all and kind of irritated me at times since they did well with general narration.
Overall, I'd recommend this YA novel for a quick, fun contemporary fantasy read. I can't wait to read more from Alex Brown.
Thank you to Recorded Books and NetGalley for this arc.
This was such a fun YA novel with witty dialogue and funny characters! It did really well balancing lighthearted moments with heavier, emotional moments.
It excelled with portraying teen emotions. The MC, Cordelia, feels a lot of guilt and angst for what she did to her abusive father, and I thought that was portrayed really well.
The cast of characters were fun, although most felt very one-dimensional. The only two characters that were well-rounded were Cordelia and Fred, the school counselor/demon. Everyone else gave me filler character vibes, even the love interest, Veronica. But even then, the dialogue and interactions were written well.
I loved the theater production aspect of the story. It was woven so neatly into the storyline that it felt natural and not forced. Everyone involved in the play was funny to an extent and had loud personalities.
The second half lagged for me because it was really tropey. Everything unfolded as it should've and there weren't really any fun plot twists to keep me on my toes.
I liked the inclusion of Filipino mythology, even though it was very light. Cordelia had a kalis blade and there was an aswang. I wish there was more.
The audiobook narrator just didn't do it for me. They had a strange way of narrating dialogue and different character's voices that was very stilted, like they were reading word for word on a script. It didn't feel natural at all and kind of irritated me at times since they did well with general narration.
Overall, I'd recommend this YA novel for a quick, fun contemporary fantasy read. I can't wait to read more from Alex Brown.
Thank you to Recorded Books and NetGalley for this arc.
July 23, 2023
Cordelia Scott (Filipino, 17) made a deal with a demon to send her abusive father to Hell when she was ten, which resulted in losing a piece of her soul. Cordelia is offered the chance to get it back by teaming up with Fred (the demon she made the deal with) to stop another demon in town who is on the warpath.
I absolutely loved Cordelia and her best friend Veronica (Filipino). It’s clear that they are both in love with each other but neither one says anything, which leads to SO much pining.
I loved the Filipino folklore that was interwoven through out the story. Aswang are absolutely terrifying, and that still stands in this book.
All of the side characters were fantastic. Even though Fred is a demon, you honestly can’t help but love him and his sarcastic, grumpy demeanor.
I’m not sure if this book will turn into a series, but I would love to see more adventures from Cordelia and her found family group as they go after more demons!
Thank you Page Street Books for providing a review copy. This did not influence my review. All opinions are my own.
I absolutely loved Cordelia and her best friend Veronica (Filipino). It’s clear that they are both in love with each other but neither one says anything, which leads to SO much pining.
I loved the Filipino folklore that was interwoven through out the story. Aswang are absolutely terrifying, and that still stands in this book.
All of the side characters were fantastic. Even though Fred is a demon, you honestly can’t help but love him and his sarcastic, grumpy demeanor.
I’m not sure if this book will turn into a series, but I would love to see more adventures from Cordelia and her found family group as they go after more demons!
Thank you Page Street Books for providing a review copy. This did not influence my review. All opinions are my own.
August 10, 2023
Deal with the devil!
Cordilia never questioned her abusive father's absence. One day he just left. But one school day, her counsellor reveals himself as a demon with whom she made the deal. Get rid of her father in exchange for a part of her soul. Now the counsellor demon 😈 needs Cordilia to help him with a demonic problem else she will be sent to the same place as her father and spend eternity together.
I am going to say this outright, I loved the title and the main plot of this book. Cordilia's character as a stage manager is done very well. The author made sure not to overcomplicate the world buildup by just keeping enough creatures in there. There is also a side angle of folklore, town legends and childhood friends that are going on to keep it interesting. Everything rounds up together in a great cozy ball towards the end and wraps all the mysteries in its periphery. Enjoyed reading this one so much!
Genre: #Fantasy #middlegrade #lgbt
Rating: 4/5 ⭐️
Thankyou @netgalley @madethisforlu @pagestreetya for the digital ARC
Cordilia never questioned her abusive father's absence. One day he just left. But one school day, her counsellor reveals himself as a demon with whom she made the deal. Get rid of her father in exchange for a part of her soul. Now the counsellor demon 😈 needs Cordilia to help him with a demonic problem else she will be sent to the same place as her father and spend eternity together.
I am going to say this outright, I loved the title and the main plot of this book. Cordilia's character as a stage manager is done very well. The author made sure not to overcomplicate the world buildup by just keeping enough creatures in there. There is also a side angle of folklore, town legends and childhood friends that are going on to keep it interesting. Everything rounds up together in a great cozy ball towards the end and wraps all the mysteries in its periphery. Enjoyed reading this one so much!
Genre: #Fantasy #middlegrade #lgbt
Rating: 4/5 ⭐️
Thankyou @netgalley @madethisforlu @pagestreetya for the digital ARC
September 1, 2023
This is a hilarious small town romp with demon deals, murderous vultures, awkward sapphics and truly pathetic demons – in short, this book is an updated, modern day Buffy, and it's such a fun read.
I did feel the pacing in a few places kinda slowed down to a crawl before picking back up again and going balls to the wall with the action, I'm not sure it ever found a sweet spot with the pacing, but the bloody battle scenes were really fun.
I loved Veronica and Cordelia (is that a Buffy reference?), or Harmonica and Accordion as they nickname themselves, and Fred is the perfect updated Giles, an old as hell demon who's trying to deal with a bunch of teenagers before the world ends.
I did feel the pacing in a few places kinda slowed down to a crawl before picking back up again and going balls to the wall with the action, I'm not sure it ever found a sweet spot with the pacing, but the bloody battle scenes were really fun.
I loved Veronica and Cordelia (is that a Buffy reference?), or Harmonica and Accordion as they nickname themselves, and Fred is the perfect updated Giles, an old as hell demon who's trying to deal with a bunch of teenagers before the world ends.
November 30, 2023
i'm told this is a queer buffy the vampire slayer with mixed rep and i honestly could not be more excited. i want to devour this book, take it in, feel the love. i was reached out to to review because of the mixed asian rep and i'm honestly emotional just for that. i can't wait to read this and tell you all about it <3
July 18, 2023
Excuse me, a sapphic ya horror novel, that’s inspired by Filipino folklore.
Say no more.
Say no more.
August 11, 2023
I always love reading a book with Filipino representation! Pinoy Pride!!!
Cordelia has had a rough seven years after her abusive father up and disappeared. A mom that has withdrawn within herself, in love with her best friend, not making any marks in school, and managing a play that leaves much to be desired. Add a demonic guidance counselor asking for a favor, into the mix and it’s one big powder keg!
This book has all the found family vibes you could be looking for! Brown did a great job at building such a diverse band of misfits. The relationship between Cordelia and Veronica is *chefs kiss*.
I could absolutely see this as a mini series on Cartoon Network! Most of the characters are part of the theater group, so naturally their exaggerated personalities would be perfect for a children’s cartoon.
This one did take me a bit longer to get through on audio. Mainly because I had a difficult time with a few of the character voices chosen by the narrator. That is 100% a preference and not at all popular opinion.
Cordelia has had a rough seven years after her abusive father up and disappeared. A mom that has withdrawn within herself, in love with her best friend, not making any marks in school, and managing a play that leaves much to be desired. Add a demonic guidance counselor asking for a favor, into the mix and it’s one big powder keg!
This book has all the found family vibes you could be looking for! Brown did a great job at building such a diverse band of misfits. The relationship between Cordelia and Veronica is *chefs kiss*.
I could absolutely see this as a mini series on Cartoon Network! Most of the characters are part of the theater group, so naturally their exaggerated personalities would be perfect for a children’s cartoon.
This one did take me a bit longer to get through on audio. Mainly because I had a difficult time with a few of the character voices chosen by the narrator. That is 100% a preference and not at all popular opinion.
January 23, 2025
4.6⭐️
It was good. Kinda slow at the start but i liked the plot and the characters. Enjoyable read for the most part. Overall good book.
It was good. Kinda slow at the start but i liked the plot and the characters. Enjoyable read for the most part. Overall good book.
August 6, 2023
A rounded-up 2 stars. I came into this one so ready to love it: funny theatre kids! Deals with demons and Filipino lore! Sapphic friends-to-lovers!! I think that excitement is what made the disappointment sting even more.
So many character moments and even plot events happened with seemingly no buildup. Our main character Cordelia would suddenly make the decision to start working on herself (and then go through the whole process again in two chapters); our demon buddy would suddenly decide to be helpful and reveal his tragic backstory (via the most banal tale possible); a “mean guy” character would turn out to be friendly and funny on a whim; Cordelia would decide to start relating to the demon out of the blue; a piece of information would randomly be revealed or offhandedly be mentioned. I felt like I was reading a bullet-point list of story beats thrown together rather than a cohesive story with emotional and narrative flow and setup. The demon and supernatural aspects were fine on their own, although they suffered the same problems as the rest of the story. It was fun to learn about aswangs, but that was about the extent of the Filipino-specific lore present in the novel—all the other demons are your garden-variety Christian-inspired fare. The climactic moments were scattered and chaotic; the emotional moments never felt earned. The writing also suffered intensely from sentencefragment-itis and was especially fond of dropping subjects (ew). You can communicate a fast pace and still throw a fun personal pronoun in there.
Where I was most disappointed was with the main romance. We get a lot of telling about how Cordelia likes Veronica and Veronica was always there for her etc etc, but it was very tepid, falling prey to the sort of “oh she’s so pretty and nice and soft and there for me” talk that plagues sapphic romance. Which isn’t to say that your love interests can’t be pretty and nice, but when I’m reading a friends-to-lovers romance—especially one with as much emotional baggage as this one—I want more than that. The pining should be earned and felt, not just Cordelia stating every other chapter that “I can‘t get close to Veronica because I’m a bad person” or mentioning yet again how Veronica is always nice to her. It was so unbearably soppy, like a very intense cringe set deep in the soul. And what is with all this ~gasping when they ~brush arms? Girl.
I'm ambivalent about Cordelia’s plot with her abusive father. Spoiler, , which is where her guilt and shame vis a vis Veronica and her own personhood comes from. Since I’ve never been in her situation, I don’t really have the knowledge to comment intelligently on the experience itself, but the writing of it just felt weak. There’s a lot of circling around about Cordelia wondering if she’s a bad person. She’s like “am I a monster? Do I deserve love? Should I stay away from Veronica? Does my mom wish it was me?” every chapter and, as harsh as it is to say, I had no reason to buy into her vortex of guilt—keep in mind of course that this is a character, not a real person. Cordelia’s father is an unrepentant black-and-white villain, and Cordelia is suffering through some serious shades of gray of identity crisis. Her angst as it was written just didn’t fit with the completely evil demon-monster character of her father. We never saw glimpses of his humanity, evidence of her connection to him, or even her visceral reaction to Eventually I just wanted to go “girl, that’s called self-defense; it’s chill.” The book tried to fit complex emotions more suited to real life scenarios into its monster-hunter storyline and ended up making the main character tiresome. I thought it was a disservice to the gravity of this situation.
Closing aggravations: Fred (the demon) constantly calling Cordelia “little one” grated on me so bad, and the father INCESSANTLY calling her “kiddo” was even worse. Also, characters cannot seem to stop crying or tearing up or having water pool in their eyes or speaking through sobs. Several times (four? five? more?) a chapter in some stretches! There can’t be that much water in your body! I’m sure I would cry too in your situation, but that doesn’t mean I want to read about it every three paragraphs!
So many character moments and even plot events happened with seemingly no buildup. Our main character Cordelia would suddenly make the decision to start working on herself (and then go through the whole process again in two chapters); our demon buddy would suddenly decide to be helpful and reveal his tragic backstory (via the most banal tale possible); a “mean guy” character would turn out to be friendly and funny on a whim; Cordelia would decide to start relating to the demon out of the blue; a piece of information would randomly be revealed or offhandedly be mentioned. I felt like I was reading a bullet-point list of story beats thrown together rather than a cohesive story with emotional and narrative flow and setup. The demon and supernatural aspects were fine on their own, although they suffered the same problems as the rest of the story. It was fun to learn about aswangs, but that was about the extent of the Filipino-specific lore present in the novel—all the other demons are your garden-variety Christian-inspired fare. The climactic moments were scattered and chaotic; the emotional moments never felt earned. The writing also suffered intensely from sentencefragment-itis and was especially fond of dropping subjects (ew). You can communicate a fast pace and still throw a fun personal pronoun in there.
Where I was most disappointed was with the main romance. We get a lot of telling about how Cordelia likes Veronica and Veronica was always there for her etc etc, but it was very tepid, falling prey to the sort of “oh she’s so pretty and nice and soft and there for me” talk that plagues sapphic romance. Which isn’t to say that your love interests can’t be pretty and nice, but when I’m reading a friends-to-lovers romance—especially one with as much emotional baggage as this one—I want more than that. The pining should be earned and felt, not just Cordelia stating every other chapter that “I can‘t get close to Veronica because I’m a bad person” or mentioning yet again how Veronica is always nice to her. It was so unbearably soppy, like a very intense cringe set deep in the soul. And what is with all this ~gasping when they ~brush arms? Girl.
I'm ambivalent about Cordelia’s plot with her abusive father. Spoiler, , which is where her guilt and shame vis a vis Veronica and her own personhood comes from. Since I’ve never been in her situation, I don’t really have the knowledge to comment intelligently on the experience itself, but the writing of it just felt weak. There’s a lot of circling around about Cordelia wondering if she’s a bad person. She’s like “am I a monster? Do I deserve love? Should I stay away from Veronica? Does my mom wish it was me?” every chapter and, as harsh as it is to say, I had no reason to buy into her vortex of guilt—keep in mind of course that this is a character, not a real person. Cordelia’s father is an unrepentant black-and-white villain, and Cordelia is suffering through some serious shades of gray of identity crisis. Her angst as it was written just didn’t fit with the completely evil demon-monster character of her father. We never saw glimpses of his humanity, evidence of her connection to him, or even her visceral reaction to Eventually I just wanted to go “girl, that’s called self-defense; it’s chill.” The book tried to fit complex emotions more suited to real life scenarios into its monster-hunter storyline and ended up making the main character tiresome. I thought it was a disservice to the gravity of this situation.
Closing aggravations: Fred (the demon) constantly calling Cordelia “little one” grated on me so bad, and the father INCESSANTLY calling her “kiddo” was even worse. Also, characters cannot seem to stop crying or tearing up or having water pool in their eyes or speaking through sobs. Several times (four? five? more?) a chapter in some stretches! There can’t be that much water in your body! I’m sure I would cry too in your situation, but that doesn’t mean I want to read about it every three paragraphs!
May 23, 2024
So much fun with great characters - even the two dimensional villains. A nice allegory for young people.
September 16, 2023
The précis for Alex Brown’s Damned if You Do describes it as "Queer Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino folklore". It’s been years since I’ve seen Buffy but I remember a bit of tongue in cheek humor blended in with some pretty graphic stuff, and that’s a good idea of what Damned if You Do is.
I’m going to start out this review by saying that I enjoyed the story just fine. I feel Brown truly captures the essence of high school life, with the social dynamics and events the characters are going through. There’s some intense family drama, and Brown does a good job exploring how the main character feels as she tells us her tale.
Unfortunately the narrator in the audio version of Damned if You Do really didn’t work for me. If I was reviewing the book alone, I’d probably go for four stars, but factoring in the narrator’s performance levels it out to three stars for me.
thank you to RB Media, Recorded Books, via NetGalley, for providing me with an audiobook copy of Damned if You Do, this is my honest review and all opinions are my own
I’m going to start out this review by saying that I enjoyed the story just fine. I feel Brown truly captures the essence of high school life, with the social dynamics and events the characters are going through. There’s some intense family drama, and Brown does a good job exploring how the main character feels as she tells us her tale.
Unfortunately the narrator in the audio version of Damned if You Do really didn’t work for me. If I was reviewing the book alone, I’d probably go for four stars, but factoring in the narrator’s performance levels it out to three stars for me.
thank you to RB Media, Recorded Books, via NetGalley, for providing me with an audiobook copy of Damned if You Do, this is my honest review and all opinions are my own
August 2, 2023
I wanted more from the side characters. Cordelia was a shining star, mostly, but there wasn’t much of anything beyond an outline to anyone else - not even Fred. It also felt like there was so much time spent talking about what was going to happen and then it did not go remotely as was discussed, so it kind of felt like much of the story could have been cut to make the pacing better.
I really liked the aswang - though I wished we got a bit more context and the mythos behind them (shapeshifting witch/vampire just sounds awesome? Please tell me more!) And I liked the way the author played with Cordelia’s expectations about the aswang in order to make it both scarier and more unexpected.
Also, the audiobook narrator made some… strange and rather inconsistent choices for character voices. It made it very hard to take the story seriously.
{Thank you RB Digital for the ALC in exchange for my honest review; all thoughts are my own}
I really liked the aswang - though I wished we got a bit more context and the mythos behind them (shapeshifting witch/vampire just sounds awesome? Please tell me more!) And I liked the way the author played with Cordelia’s expectations about the aswang in order to make it both scarier and more unexpected.
Also, the audiobook narrator made some… strange and rather inconsistent choices for character voices. It made it very hard to take the story seriously.
{Thank you RB Digital for the ALC in exchange for my honest review; all thoughts are my own}
July 21, 2023
Got an arc from work
This was fun!! Very Early Seasons of Buffy feel that I know I loved and I hope the target YA audience will too. It’s funny and heartfelt, with a lot of poignant things to say under the snark, I hope it finds the people who need it
This was fun!! Very Early Seasons of Buffy feel that I know I loved and I hope the target YA audience will too. It’s funny and heartfelt, with a lot of poignant things to say under the snark, I hope it finds the people who need it
August 19, 2023
I wanted to like this so badly. I loved the concept and, given the way they endorse the novel, I was excited for some campy fun. It was a bit campy, I'll give it that.
My first main issue with this was the inconsistent characterization. Characters flip flop around in their convictions seemingly randomly, or with no real build up/support from the plot or other characters. Like they'll go from angry to laughing to sobbing in the span of pages. Dustin loses his entire brother and is like "lol you remembered Reginald" mere moments after being super angry and upset. I also don't quite know how to explain it, but this story feels like it was loosely constructed around a main character the author liked a lot, so that they could have witty one liners and be sassy, instead of a fully developed idea and characters that fit into the world.
I was also super let down that something advertised as having Filipino lore/mythology has *barely* one Filipino mythical creature and then the rest of the creatures are from, like, the Catholic canon.
The romance was...so weird? I am not convinced that the two main characters are in love, let alone that they're even really friends. Their interactions are just so bland and the romance has little to no substance. At the end of the story they called each other Accordion and Harmonica (a play on Cordy and Veronica) but it was too little, too late to convince me of their relationship. Again, big disappointment from a story that advertised itself as "queer Buffy meets Filipino folklore" (literally from the back of the book).
The plot is also a mess. I was at page 188 before I felt like anything even happened. The first half of the book is Cordy repeatedly worrying about whether or not she's a monster, random theater snippets that don't really add anything to the plot or characterizations, info-dumpy yet bland back-and-forth with a demon guidance counselor, and really sparse information/set up about demons and how to catch them. I felt like Blake's sections were really underbaked, too. It felt like he only existed to jam random relevant plot information into the story (and then he *literally* dies once he isn't useful anymore, lol).
I also think without the repetitive scenes, the first half of the book could have been cut down a lot and the pacing of the story would have been a lot better. As it stands this is super slow in the first half, a bit random in the second half, and overall just a bit of a mess.
Overall, I was really let down by this read. I would check out more from this author, because I enjoyed the way in which they wrote, but this story just didn't do it for me.
My first main issue with this was the inconsistent characterization. Characters flip flop around in their convictions seemingly randomly, or with no real build up/support from the plot or other characters. Like they'll go from angry to laughing to sobbing in the span of pages. Dustin loses his entire brother and is like "lol you remembered Reginald" mere moments after being super angry and upset. I also don't quite know how to explain it, but this story feels like it was loosely constructed around a main character the author liked a lot, so that they could have witty one liners and be sassy, instead of a fully developed idea and characters that fit into the world.
I was also super let down that something advertised as having Filipino lore/mythology has *barely* one Filipino mythical creature and then the rest of the creatures are from, like, the Catholic canon.
The romance was...so weird? I am not convinced that the two main characters are in love, let alone that they're even really friends. Their interactions are just so bland and the romance has little to no substance. At the end of the story they called each other Accordion and Harmonica (a play on Cordy and Veronica) but it was too little, too late to convince me of their relationship. Again, big disappointment from a story that advertised itself as "queer Buffy meets Filipino folklore" (literally from the back of the book).
The plot is also a mess. I was at page 188 before I felt like anything even happened. The first half of the book is Cordy repeatedly worrying about whether or not she's a monster, random theater snippets that don't really add anything to the plot or characterizations, info-dumpy yet bland back-and-forth with a demon guidance counselor, and really sparse information/set up about demons and how to catch them. I felt like Blake's sections were really underbaked, too. It felt like he only existed to jam random relevant plot information into the story (and then he *literally* dies once he isn't useful anymore, lol).
I also think without the repetitive scenes, the first half of the book could have been cut down a lot and the pacing of the story would have been a lot better. As it stands this is super slow in the first half, a bit random in the second half, and overall just a bit of a mess.
Overall, I was really let down by this read. I would check out more from this author, because I enjoyed the way in which they wrote, but this story just didn't do it for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 3, 2023
Holy smokes this was fabulous!!! I first saw Damned if You Do by Alex Brown pitched as Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Filipino Folklore and was instantly sold! As a Buffy fan from day one I just knew this book was going to be fantastic!
We follow Cordelia who unknowingly sold a piece of her soul to a Demon - the upside? She now has a chance to earn it back! All she needs to do is help him defeat his demonic rival. The issue? She’s a high school student, it’s tech week for their theatre group, her bff may be a monster, the demon has taken up residence as her guidance counselor and she has an endless amount of homework and pop quizzes!
I absolutely loved this! It felt like reading a mix of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the High School Musical Episode of Supernatural with a side of Filipino Folklore. It was horrifyingly hilarious and monstrously fun - jam packed with found family, friendship, action, cheeky demons, coming of age realness and general badassary!
Thank you so much to RB Media for the advanced copy. Amielynn Abellera did an amazing job bringing the story to life!
We follow Cordelia who unknowingly sold a piece of her soul to a Demon - the upside? She now has a chance to earn it back! All she needs to do is help him defeat his demonic rival. The issue? She’s a high school student, it’s tech week for their theatre group, her bff may be a monster, the demon has taken up residence as her guidance counselor and she has an endless amount of homework and pop quizzes!
I absolutely loved this! It felt like reading a mix of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the High School Musical Episode of Supernatural with a side of Filipino Folklore. It was horrifyingly hilarious and monstrously fun - jam packed with found family, friendship, action, cheeky demons, coming of age realness and general badassary!
Thank you so much to RB Media for the advanced copy. Amielynn Abellera did an amazing job bringing the story to life!
August 4, 2023
Thank you Netgalley and RB Media for an advanced copy of this audiobook.
When I was looking at this book, what caught me was that this book was a Queer Buffy The Vampire Slayer meets Filipino Folklore and I was immediately sold. As someone who grew up with Buffy The Vampire Slayer, this marked all my check marks off my list.
Cordelia Davis was 11 years old when she made a deal with a demon. 7 years later that demon returns as Fred, who is under the impression of her guidance counselor. When he confronts her to hold up her end of the bargain to entrap another demon, things start to get a little out of hand.
This book was filled with comedy, horror, friendship, fighting your most epic demons, and of course falling in love with your best friend. I loved this sapphic story and hope to read more from this author.
When I was looking at this book, what caught me was that this book was a Queer Buffy The Vampire Slayer meets Filipino Folklore and I was immediately sold. As someone who grew up with Buffy The Vampire Slayer, this marked all my check marks off my list.
Cordelia Davis was 11 years old when she made a deal with a demon. 7 years later that demon returns as Fred, who is under the impression of her guidance counselor. When he confronts her to hold up her end of the bargain to entrap another demon, things start to get a little out of hand.
This book was filled with comedy, horror, friendship, fighting your most epic demons, and of course falling in love with your best friend. I loved this sapphic story and hope to read more from this author.
July 10, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!
This book was so good! I read Alex’s short stories in both The Gathering Dark & Night Of the Living Queers and was looking forward to her debut novel. I don’t know much about Filipino folklore so I was looking forward to learning, but I’m always down for a queer demon fighting team. I’m also not familiar with Buffy, but I’ll have to check out more about it after this.
Cordelia and Veronica were so cute. I’m always so glad for strong friend groups in these sort of books, and Cordy’s friend group was the best. Although her home life was awful and school wasn’t the best, she always had people who were there for her and on her side. I wasn’t a huge fan of her Mom and the ending wasn’t as satisfying with their relationship as I had wanted, but I’m glad she got her ending.
I’m always a sucker for characters who fight their demons, and Cordy does this figuratively and literally. She was a lovable and relatable character. I’m very impressed with her demon hunting/going to school balance. I also just wanted to hug her throughout the whole book. What she was going though broke my heart. If there’s more to this universe, I’ll always sign up to read it.
This book was so good! I read Alex’s short stories in both The Gathering Dark & Night Of the Living Queers and was looking forward to her debut novel. I don’t know much about Filipino folklore so I was looking forward to learning, but I’m always down for a queer demon fighting team. I’m also not familiar with Buffy, but I’ll have to check out more about it after this.
Cordelia and Veronica were so cute. I’m always so glad for strong friend groups in these sort of books, and Cordy’s friend group was the best. Although her home life was awful and school wasn’t the best, she always had people who were there for her and on her side. I wasn’t a huge fan of her Mom and the ending wasn’t as satisfying with their relationship as I had wanted, but I’m glad she got her ending.
I’m always a sucker for characters who fight their demons, and Cordy does this figuratively and literally. She was a lovable and relatable character. I’m very impressed with her demon hunting/going to school balance. I also just wanted to hug her throughout the whole book. What she was going though broke my heart. If there’s more to this universe, I’ll always sign up to read it.
August 7, 2023
Deal with the devil!
Cordilia never questioned her abusive father's absence. One day he just left. But one school day, her counsellor reveals himself as a demon with whom she made the deal. Get rid of her father in exchange for a part of her soul. Now the counsellor demon 😈 needs Cordilia to help him with a demonic problem else she will be sent to the same place as her father and spend eternity together.
I am going to say this outright, I loved the title and the main plot of this book. Cordilia's character as a stage manager is done very well. The author made sure not to overcomplicate the world buildup by just keeping enough creatures in there. There is also a side angle of folklore, town legends and childhood friends that are going on to keep it interesting. Everything rounds up together in a great cozy ball towards the end and wraps all the mysteries in its periphery. Enjoyed reading this one so much!
Genre: #Fantasy #middlegrade #lgbt
Rating: 4/5 ⭐️
Cordilia never questioned her abusive father's absence. One day he just left. But one school day, her counsellor reveals himself as a demon with whom she made the deal. Get rid of her father in exchange for a part of her soul. Now the counsellor demon 😈 needs Cordilia to help him with a demonic problem else she will be sent to the same place as her father and spend eternity together.
I am going to say this outright, I loved the title and the main plot of this book. Cordilia's character as a stage manager is done very well. The author made sure not to overcomplicate the world buildup by just keeping enough creatures in there. There is also a side angle of folklore, town legends and childhood friends that are going on to keep it interesting. Everything rounds up together in a great cozy ball towards the end and wraps all the mysteries in its periphery. Enjoyed reading this one so much!
Genre: #Fantasy #middlegrade #lgbt
Rating: 4/5 ⭐️
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