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Building Your Family: The Complete Guide to Donor Conception
Building Your Family is the first all-inclusive guide by experts to cover both the medical and emotional aspects of becoming a parent through donor conception.
Once shrouded in secrecy, modern families built with the assistance of egg or sperm donation are growing in numbers and voice. As more people see friends, family members and celebrities use donor conception to build their families, the process has become much more mainstream and accepted. The number of donor sperm programs and egg banks have grown enormously in the past decade and the news is full of stories of athletes, journalists, and entertainers like Elton John, Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Camille Guaty, and Natalie Imbruglia, who have used donor gametes to have their children.
The authors, Lisa Schuman, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist, and Dr. Mark Leondires, a board certified Reproductive Endocrinologist, have decades of experience working closely with patients who have chosen to use donated eggs and sperm, as well as their own personal stories of fertility treatment and non-genetic parenthood.
Together, they walk readers through the medical, emotional, and genetic aspects of donor conception, common ethical dilemmas, managing relationships with friends and family members, ways to tell donor-conceived children about their origins, and strategies to cope with the challenges of fertility treatment.
In a compassionate and authoritative narrative, they help hopeful parents-to-be find their way forward with confidence and joy.
Once shrouded in secrecy, modern families built with the assistance of egg or sperm donation are growing in numbers and voice. As more people see friends, family members and celebrities use donor conception to build their families, the process has become much more mainstream and accepted. The number of donor sperm programs and egg banks have grown enormously in the past decade and the news is full of stories of athletes, journalists, and entertainers like Elton John, Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Camille Guaty, and Natalie Imbruglia, who have used donor gametes to have their children.
The authors, Lisa Schuman, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist, and Dr. Mark Leondires, a board certified Reproductive Endocrinologist, have decades of experience working closely with patients who have chosen to use donated eggs and sperm, as well as their own personal stories of fertility treatment and non-genetic parenthood.
Together, they walk readers through the medical, emotional, and genetic aspects of donor conception, common ethical dilemmas, managing relationships with friends and family members, ways to tell donor-conceived children about their origins, and strategies to cope with the challenges of fertility treatment.
In a compassionate and authoritative narrative, they help hopeful parents-to-be find their way forward with confidence and joy.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
320 pages, Hardcover
Published November 14, 2023
About the author
Lisa Schuman
2 books6 followersLisa Schuman is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW).
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 11, 2023
I am glad I won this book and read it. I gave it to my daughter who is in her twenties and has been told that she might not be able to give birth. I think this book will give her hope and a happier outlook on life. Good information for anyone interested. Interesting book about families who are created with surrogates. Highly recommend.
November 29, 2023
They advertise this as a complete guide to donor conception, but it is not. The authors do have a lot of good content. They talk about how it all works, choosing a donor, and how to talk about donor conception with your kids and others. They bend over backwards to be accommodating and inclusive of different types of families (heterosexual, lgbtq, single parents). Overall, it's a good book and there's good information for anybody considering donor conception.
But the book really really really falls short on conception with donor embryos. This was only mentioned twice, and both times quite superficially (less than 3 pages total of this book). And a good portion of the discussion was deciding whether to donate your own leftover embryos, not about donor embryo recipients. They also seemed to believe that the main reason somebody would choose donor embryo conception is that it is cheaper, not acknowledging the complexity behind this decision. They also seem to think that all embryo donation occurs through adoption-focused groups, not acknowledging clinic-based donor programs which are run very differently.
Another shortcoming of the book is that it leans heavily towards selecting an open or known donor. Yes, this is ideal, but for many it is not possible. The ensuing discussions don't really stress talking with your child about an anonymous donor, and are much more focused on navigating relationships with open or known donors.
As a recipient of anonymously donated embryos through a clinic, I found that this book had some good information, but really did not address my situation and many of the worries and questions that I was hoping would be discussed. Overall, I'd give this book 4 stars for content, but I would only give it 2 stars for donor embryo recipients considering it. Perhaps worth the read for the parts that are useful, but overall it's a bit alienating and there is a lack of relevant content.
But the book really really really falls short on conception with donor embryos. This was only mentioned twice, and both times quite superficially (less than 3 pages total of this book). And a good portion of the discussion was deciding whether to donate your own leftover embryos, not about donor embryo recipients. They also seemed to believe that the main reason somebody would choose donor embryo conception is that it is cheaper, not acknowledging the complexity behind this decision. They also seem to think that all embryo donation occurs through adoption-focused groups, not acknowledging clinic-based donor programs which are run very differently.
Another shortcoming of the book is that it leans heavily towards selecting an open or known donor. Yes, this is ideal, but for many it is not possible. The ensuing discussions don't really stress talking with your child about an anonymous donor, and are much more focused on navigating relationships with open or known donors.
As a recipient of anonymously donated embryos through a clinic, I found that this book had some good information, but really did not address my situation and many of the worries and questions that I was hoping would be discussed. Overall, I'd give this book 4 stars for content, but I would only give it 2 stars for donor embryo recipients considering it. Perhaps worth the read for the parts that are useful, but overall it's a bit alienating and there is a lack of relevant content.
March 3, 2025
Building Your Family is an absolute MUST read for anyone thinking (or trying) to pursue donor assisted reproduction. I have read over a dozen books on this topic and this book is the best end-to-end discussion of the challenges, issues, and joys of assisted reproduction. The book also thoughtfully addresses concerns unique to LGBTQ+ and Single Parent by Choice populations (in addition to more tradition hetero-two-parent households). This books expertly moves from the medical, technical, social, emotional, and psychological aspects of donor-assisted reproduction. Cannot recommend this book enough (it is also a good book for family and friends who are curious about what you are going through).
June 3, 2025
A modern, compassionate guide to family building with donors or surrogacy, especially helpful for the LGBTQ community.
June 7, 2026
Very informative. I thought I knew a bit about donor conception but this book proved me wrong often. I now feel ready to tackle this next journey of my life 🥰
June 28, 2024
Co-authors Lisa Schuman, LCSW and Dr. Mark Leondires have written an extremely informative, must-have volume for those seeking help building a family. Whether you are a couple suffering infertility, a same sex couple or a single hopeful parent-to-be, this book will help you in multi-faceted ways and should definitely belongs on your book shelves. Reading it cover-to-cover should almost certainly ease your long, stressful and pain filled journey by empowering you with the knowledge you need to make decisions, what steps are necessary to take and guiding you through each of those steps and what to expect. This knowledge should ease your stress level and make the process much, much easier for you and your partner, if applicable.
The authors bring to the table years of experience in the family building/donor conception field and their practice has helped thousands of families start their family in this way or helping parents and would-be parents make the determination if one of these methods of family building is right from them, or even decide not to go this route. Truly, knowledge is the key that can open this avenue wide open for you. And this book is written in such an uplifting manner. The text is straightforward, easy to follow and full of positivity--the perfect combination! Highly recommended.
The authors bring to the table years of experience in the family building/donor conception field and their practice has helped thousands of families start their family in this way or helping parents and would-be parents make the determination if one of these methods of family building is right from them, or even decide not to go this route. Truly, knowledge is the key that can open this avenue wide open for you. And this book is written in such an uplifting manner. The text is straightforward, easy to follow and full of positivity--the perfect combination! Highly recommended.
January 25, 2024
While I’m giving this four stars for content, I listened to the audiobook version and can’t say I recommend it. The audio quality isn’t great (the male narrator’s segments were worse), and both narrators (who are also the authors) read the text like they’ve never seen it before, pausing often and in awkward places, and read in either a flat or questioning tone, which is really distracting. I would definitely recommend picking up a physical copy of the book if the subject matter interests you.
As for the book itself, I found it quite informative and a great primer if you’re thinking about donor conception. It covers everything from choosing your donor to stress management to the science behind the actual procedures, and is both LGBTQIA+ and SMBC friendly. It’s also quite hopeful and optimistic while being equally realistic and honest, which is a hard balance. Overall, I think it’s a great, short read with helpful information if you’re looking for a one-stop-shop deep-dive on the topic.
As for the book itself, I found it quite informative and a great primer if you’re thinking about donor conception. It covers everything from choosing your donor to stress management to the science behind the actual procedures, and is both LGBTQIA+ and SMBC friendly. It’s also quite hopeful and optimistic while being equally realistic and honest, which is a hard balance. Overall, I think it’s a great, short read with helpful information if you’re looking for a one-stop-shop deep-dive on the topic.
October 9, 2025
This is THE best donor conception book for ALL situations. If you're considering donor conception or embryo adoption......read this. I am really impressed with the amount of data, stories, and advice packed into this book. It was easy to read, and yet it bears some of the most important weight in the world - creating our family.
While a large chunk of this book was irrelevent for me (the LGBTQ and single parent by choice parts), I learned so much even just by reading those sections and trying to understand the additional difficulties they experience in this realm.
I wish I had read this well before we adopted our embryos. But I also loved that this book reassured me that we definitely still picked the right embryos and for all the right reasons for us.
While a large chunk of this book was irrelevent for me (the LGBTQ and single parent by choice parts), I learned so much even just by reading those sections and trying to understand the additional difficulties they experience in this realm.
I wish I had read this well before we adopted our embryos. But I also loved that this book reassured me that we definitely still picked the right embryos and for all the right reasons for us.
June 1, 2023
Good information for anyone interested
August 10, 2023
Interesting book about families who are created with surrogates.
November 16, 2023
Well-written! This book will broaden your scope of knowledge, providing an avenue of possibilities to start a family. Bravo!!
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews