The first physical book I purchased in 2024 from Book Culture, and the first book I was guilt tripped into buying because the store had 20% off and everyone was stocking up on their new year’s reading. It was the first time I saw readers buying entire PILES of books and I felt lame just checking out a greeting card. Was also inspired by Kylie to just spend an afternoon reading a physical book in a bookstore — something I hadn’t done since the romantic days of being 22.
Pretty good selection of essays profiling women, arts, culture, history, fashion. I found the essay on Amelia Earhart very eye-opening as I’d never reflected critically on her myth. The first 2 sections also focus heavily on mother-daughter relationships which made me think of Siaonimar and ex best friends. I felt like I went on a journey around the world from my couch and bed.
Excerpts
Nearly all of them had achieved distinction at a price their male counterparts didn’t have to pay.
The price of self-possession used to be spinsterhood.
She despaired of being what she enviously called a “real woman” (the “real” women were her husband’s mistresses). It wasn’t obvious to my generation how or if one could become oneself without performing what the psychoanalyst Louise Kaplan memorably called a “female-female” impersonation.
“You are so young and beautiful and free, and I hate myself for trying to cramp that in you which I admire most.”
One of Rome's eternal stories is that of the bookish spinster from a cold clime, whose life has its late spring in Italy, and who loses her inhibitions, amid the ruins, with a man like Giovanni Ossoli.
The daughters of depressive women often feel a propitiatory impulse to make some sacrifice of their own aggression and desire, perhaps because they are afraid to overwhelm an unstable figure on whom they depend; because they feel guilty about their own vitality; or to disguise rage-as much from themselves as from their parent.
For some women, however —creative spirits like Helen —who have been suffocated by domesticity and crushed by the weight of their own disappointments, a child's obvious helplessness may stir the instinct to give succor, but if the child dares to assert her will, or to manifest her vitality—which is to say, her otherness-the mother, who feels deprived precisely of those freedoms, can't abide the affront.
“Nothing in life has an expiration date. You are free to change at any age.”
D. H. Lawrence: "Some people have a lot farther to go from where they begin to get where they want to be —a long way up the mountain, and that is how it has been for me. I don't feel I am getting older; I feel I am getting closer."
Desolation is an eloquent howl at the grotesque fatuity of a tame life, and a work of exceptional virtuosity. In a novella-length monologue delivered with a murderous glee, Samuel Perlman, a retired clothier, addresses his absent son, a thirty-eight-year-old beachcomber whom, his wife tells him, he has "crushed." When his daughter reports that her brother is, finally, "happy," Perlman unleashes a diatribe about all the therapeutic clichés with which people who aspire to be civilized console themselves for having compromised their vital obsessions. Mellowness, tolerance, self-acceptance —they are, in his view, "the peace of dead souls." As Perlman takes stock of his losses — of the few friends who nobly "embraced frivolity"; of the mistress who, despite being a "complete nothing," had a genius for abandon; of the wife who charmed him until she began "neglecting futility"; of the children whose laughter had once been free and defiant he recognizes that he, too, has been "tragically humanized."
The central character in Dans la Luge d'Arthur Schopenhauer (2005), Ariel Chipman, is a suicidally depressed academic who has sacrificed real living to an idea of what his life should be. (The three other characters are his long-suffering wife, Nadine; an ex-colleague whom he despises; and a psychiatrist.) Luge was staged in 2006, with Reza playing Nadine. She tells the psychiatrist, "You're going to say, but I don't care, that I'm arrogant to think I've done well by keeping my distance from these so-called brainiacs who have ruled my husband's life, for his whole life my husband has been crazy about these so-called brainiacs who desert him at the crucial moment ... to a terrible solitude."
Lowe's mantra might have been an adage attributed to Winston Churchill: "Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." But Churchill wasn't a self-employed Black octogenarian with an eighth-grade education and no savings.
In the quartet, [Elena Ferrante] gives that premise a vivid embodiment in the hostile love — empowering and subversive, jealous and reverent, steadfast and treacherous — between two friends whom we meet as girls of eight, in the slum where they were born, and follow for six decades, through the upheavals of postwar Italian society. Elena Greco and Raffaella Cerullo (Lenù and Lila) seem fated from the outset to become their mothers—weary drudges brutalized by their men, who wreak that violence on their daughters, if not by blows then by disparagement. In that respect, each of them has been invisible to herself until her friend gives her the gift of being seen.
Every question asked about Sartre concerned his work, while all those asked about Beauvoir concerned her personal life.
The ephemeral elation of achieving what Dante calls “significando”:
I am one who pays close heed
When love inspires me, then as bidden
I proceed inwardly making meaning.
A. E. Stallings finesses Canto III in terza rima:
And just as, from the fold, come sheep—
first one, then two, then three; the flock
stand meek, and faces earthward keep,
and if one walks, the rest will walk;
and when he stops, huddle in place,
meek, mild, not knowing why they balk
That passage reminded me of the Sardinian shepherd, coaxing a ewe and her suckling from the flock. He chose a lamb with a fleece of pure white and was careful not to bloody it. (He could sell the fleece later, he explained, to line a cradle.) The mother followed mutely and trustingly until he slit the lamb’s throat. Then, with heart-piercing bleats, she charged us.