I boję się snów

by Wanda Półtawska

Wspomnienia autorki z obozu koncentracyjnego w Ravensbrück, gdzie była więziona w latach 1941- 1945. Książka zawiera opisy bestialskich eksperymentów medycznych, którym poddawane były młode więźniarki, w tym także autorka. Wśród doświadczeń poniżenia, pogardy i wrogości wspomina niosące nadzieję przejawy solidarności i serdeczności, które pomogły w zachowaniu człowieczeństwa w tak nieludzkich warunkach. Nowe wydanie książki zostało uzupełnione o zapiski Autorki z 1945 r., a odnalezione w 2008 r. Polecamy także wersję dźwiękową książki. Wanda Półtawska - doktor medycyny, zdobyła drugą specjalizację w dziedzinie psychiatrii. Jej działalność, zarówno zawodową, jak i społeczną, określa światopogląd chrześcijański, pełen miłości, akceptacji i szacunku dla drugiego człowieka. Kieruje Instytutem Teologii Rodziny przy PAT w Krakowie; członek Papieskiej Rady Rodziny oraz Papieskiej Akademii "Pro Vita".

Genres: Nonfiction, History, World War II, Biography, Polish Literature, Holocaust, Historical

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1961

About the author

Wanda Wiktoria Półtawska was a Polish physician, author, Holocaust survivor and pro-life activist.

Her memoir of the life and conditions for the women held in the camp has provided material for other books such as Ravensbrück: The Cell Building by Insa Eschebach. She had decided during her incarceration that if she survived she would become a doctor. She completed her medical studies at the Jagiellonian University in 1951 and obtained her doctorate in psychiatry in 1964. She conducted research on the so-called "Auschwitz children", people who had endured the concentration camps as children. In 1967, she organized the establishment of the Institute of Family Theology at the Pontifical Academy of Theology in Kraków and managed it for 33 years. Between 1981 and 1984, she was a lecturer at the Pontifical Lateran University in Rome.

After her imprisonment, Półtawska developed a close friendship with Pope John Paul II during his priesthood, and remained friends with him until his death in 2005.

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

Rarely, these days, have I ploughed through a book so quickly. Wanda Półtawska was one of the Polish women used in criminal medical experiments at the Ravensbrück concentration camp, and wrote this book in two intense months after her release--as catharsis, since she found herself so shell-shocked she couldn’t sleep.

It is a riveting story of imprisonment and survival and courage, and towards the end becomes a shout of triumph as the camp’s “rabbits” (“guinea pigs” is the English sense of the Polish word, but the Polish word means “rabbits”) rise up in open rebellion against the SS and are supported wholeheartedly by the entire camp. It’s a tremendous and amazing tale, and I feel rather as though this final episode is missing from Jack Morrison’s otherwise excellent Ravensbrück: Everyday Life in a Women’s Concentration Camp 193945.

Although I am sure I went misty-eyed here and there throughout Półtawska's book, I didn’t start sobbing aloud until I got to the postscript. In “Return to Ravensbrück 1959,” Półtawska describes the unveiling of a memorial on the site of the former concentration camp. As the visitors and guests arrive on site, Półtawska is gripped with fear, and then:

A German voice, seeking to bring order into chaos, shouts:
“Will the Polish delegates stand in rows of five!”
With a single voice we all cry out:
“No! No! Not in rows of five!”
The official looks at us blankly, not understanding. He calls an interpreter who repeats the order:
“The Polish delegates are to stand in rows of five.”
And again that single, many-throated cry:
“No! Not in fives!”
They don’t understand. In the end I can stand it no longer and shout into the man’s ear:
“Man! For five years we stood here in rows of five!”

Półtawska was 19 when she was imprisoned. Mentally and physically scarred for life, in spite of these wounds she went on to qualify as a doctor, specializing in the psychiatry of juvenile patients. She married and had four daughters of her own. This inspiring, amazing woman has a shining list of publications, humanist activities, and honorary degrees, and I believe she's still an active lecturer. She'll be 90 this year. She was a close friend of Pope John Paul II.

http://translate.google.co.uk/transla...

On to Michelangelo in Ravensbrück: One Woman's War Against the Nazis!

[Michal Paszkiewicz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haunting and traumatising, I could barely hold my tears back while reading this book on the tube. The author does not provide the reader with the gore modern society seems to desire from modern media, but strikes much deeper and appeals to the humanity within oneself.

Wanda Poltawska writes about her time at Ravensbruck concentration camp where she, with many other (mostly Polish) inmates were used as guinea pigs for torturous experiments. She details the struggles faced in the camp, the horrific attitude of the guards, the terrifying return journey as dozens of soviet soldiers tried to rape her on her way home, and the decades of anger as post-war commissions refused to acknowledge and commemorate the vast majority of Polish prisoners at Ravensbruck.

More importantly for me, this book is about the strength of human spirit - how a group of young ladies, tortured and drained of physical strength could stand against their oppressors in order to retain their dignity. The formation of the piratenblock and the schemes designed to ensure the propagation and survival of the truths of the camp are truly inspiring. The many cases where many of the camp women were willing to risk their lives for people they had barely time to glimpse show altruism in its purest form.

I think this book should be read by everyone, upon reaching the maturity capable of handling the content.

[Jim]

And I am afraid of reading this book…

[Marko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wspomnienia Wandy Półtawskiej z obozu koncentracyjnego w Ravensbrück, gdzie była więziona w latach 1941-1945, są na wskroś obdarte ze złudzeń, prawdziwe, dotykające, porażające, przeszywające. Nawiązując do tytułu, czasami bałem się zamknąć oczy bo to co przeczytałem wracało do mnie w postaci obrazów wytworzonych przez moją wyobraźnię. Niezwykła siła przetrwania w niesamowicie skrajnych warunkach jest inspiracją do przeciwstawiania się losowi w jakże odmiennych obecnie czasach czy warunkach życia. Książka o silnym przesłaniu.

[Marcin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Książka nie jest łatwa i przyjemna. Pokazuje jak okrutna jest wojna i to jak duże cierpienie
jesteśmy w stanie zadawać innym. Oby nigdy więcej nie powtórzyły się tego typu sytuacje.
Dowiadujemy się również jak silne relacje są zawiązywane w trudnych momentach.
Dzięki nim i silnej motywacji człowiek jest w stanie przetrwać nieludzkie warunki.

[emilia emdza markowska · Rating 4 out of 5]

mialam sobie znalezc tylko fragment do recytacji na konkursie, ale tak mnie urzekla, ze musialam przeczytac w calosci przed prezentowaniem tekstu. jedna z tych ksiazek, ktore uwazam za lekture obowiazkowa bardziej niz jakakolwiek inna - obok takiej dozy bolu i cierpienia nie mozna przejsc obojetnie, zwlaszcza, ze historia lubi zataczac kolo i to w tym wszystkim najbardziej przeraza

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written because the author couldn't sleep after she returned home from Ravensbruck, it is the account of one of the Polish "Rabbits" at the camp who was experimented on by the Nazis. Arrested at 19 in 1941, she spent four years in Ravensbruck before finally making her way home to Lublin, Poland. There were a few times that the author's strict Catholicism pulled me out of the story a little, simply because they're not things I agree with, but it was fascinating to see how she viewed the other people in the camp from the Nazis to her fellow Rabbits. The craziest part to me is what she and her friends had to go through to get home! No one bothered to make sure they got home safely so they had to protect themselves on the trip back through Germany to Poland. A quick, interesting read and definitely worthwhile if you're interested in the experiences the Rabbits had to go through. And if you've read Rose Under Fire by Elizabeth Wein, you can definitely see the influences on her characters. :P

[Kalliope · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Such a very personal account, it was as if I was sitting across from an older aunt listening to her stories of her time in the concentration camps, and afterwords. very moving

[Nici Bndr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unglaublich schmerzhaft und berührend aber auch voller Lebenswillen.

[Grazyna Nawrocka]

It was easier to get English version of the book, so that's what I got. Sometimes I have this feeling, that language can't express states of mind, or ideas. This book is like that. Whatever I'll say will sound inadequate, but like always, I'll insist of trying.

I gulped the book in two days. It's a very heartbreaking and beautiful story of heroism, patriotism, humanity and evil. Many years ago, I have read about experiences of German prisoners of Ravensbruck. The book was richly illustrated with photos of injuries, and bitterness about the fact that your kin can make it to you. I haven't realized that there was a huge group of other nationalities there, being exposed to the same medical experiments.

Many times, I wondered how can you live through this hell, and still go on living; how do you adapt to living among other people who do not have similar experience, and stay normal. The sad part of what history is telling us is, that it hasn't stopped. There are still people tortured in Guantanamo, and whether they are guilty or not, inhuman treatment of fellow people continues.

[RaysRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book - 5.0 probably one of the most graphic WWII books I’ve read. Unbelievable true story of survival, resilience and sacrifice. This is a very brutal account of the tragedy so many Jews faced during captivity in nazi concentration camps. The lengths that Nazi doctors went to experiment on humans is astounding and their inhumane treatment is just impossible to fathom. This book should be a must read in schools so people understand how brutal war and people can be. I highly recommend this book and amazed at the author’s ability to document the events and experiments that she went through. SAD
Can’t remember dates I read the book but it’s finally showed up on Goodreads to put down my review.

[Anthony Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew Wanda Poltawska. After the war she became a physician and still travels Poland helping people who suffer trauma because of their wartime experience.
99 years old on 2nd November 2020, she lost her 97 year old husband, a philosopher, on 29th October 2020.

A great woman with a deep inner compassion.

[Rosario Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't believe how hard it was to find a copy of this book. But my local librarian ultimately did find and borrow a copy for me from a local college library. Why, oh, why is this book out of print?

In the end, I found the quest for this book well worth the effort. It is a moving and detailed first-hand account of a little known aspect of WW2. I highly recommend.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Tough story of capture and imprisonment in Ravensbruck, female concentration camp during WW II. The worst of it was surviving the experiments and treatment while in the war, but then facing harrowing experiences from the liberators and men in the surrounding towns in trying to get back to their homes.

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

In één ruk uitgelezen. Indrukwekkend.

[Hania Żurek · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5
Bardzo dobra książka traktująca tematy badań pseudomedycznych w obozie Ravensbruck. Ciężka, niektóre opisy bardzo trudne do czytania, i właśnie przez to 4.5/5. Polecam

[Wiktoria Godlewska · Rating 5 out of 5]

Świetna książka, czuć autentyczność. Polecam

[Faustyna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Świetna książka! 😊

[Aurelia Kluz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Daje bardzo dobry ogląd na rzeczywistosc obozową.
Jest to książka dość krótka, lecz ta ilość stron wystarczy by wstrząsnąć czytelnikiem i skłonić go do refleksji

[Deanna]

...

[Rhea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so compelling from start to end. it was an extremely heartbreaking story about the extreme dehumanization, patriotism, resistance, and unity of the victims of the Nazi Regime. The book was richly illustrated with photos of injuries and information about the horrible experiences. I have read other books about the Holocaust but this one fully emphasized and immersed me, and gave me fresh perspectives. This book speaks volumes of courage and kindness being found in the worst conditions possible. Inmates at Ravensbruck found strength in one another in a place meant to break them. Their collective actions demonstrated how the unbreakable bonds of cooperation preserved life, resisted oppression, and protected human dignity even in the darkest periods. I recommend this book for readers wanting to gain a deeper understanding of these topics!

[Monika · Rating 5 out of 5]

To jedna z tych książek, którą powinien przeczytać każdy. Ilość łez wylanych przy lekturze można by liczyć w wiadrach. Trudno się to wszystko czyta, z takim wewnętrznym buntem, że przecież człowiek człowiekowi nie mógł… a jednak niestety mógł.

[maddie · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5/5

Po czasie, czuję, że muszę się usprawiedliwić z tej oceny. Była to dla mnie pierwsza książka wojenna. Są tutaj opisane dokładnie wspomnienia autorki. Duży natłok opisów (które, nie ukrywajmy, nie są wyżyną literacką - jest to zrozumiałe, autorka pisała to dla siebie jako pamiętnik) jest przytłaczający. Opisy często są chaotyczne, niektóre sytuacje nie do końca opisane. Czytałam tą książkę około miesiąca, mimo jej niedużej objętości. Była to dla mnie naprawdę trudna lektura, po jednej przeczytanej stronie musiałam odłożyć książkę przez za duże emocje. Naprawdę ciężko czyta się takie wspomnienia. I nie chcę mówić, że książka mi się nie podobała, czy podobała. Uważam, że to szalenie niemoralne, żeby oceniać takie książki pod tym względem.

[Jody · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was once told by a college professor that the reason we know so much about the human body in regards to medical science is because of all the experiments the Nazis put their prisoners through. I have read other books about the Holocaust but for some reason this one really brought that idea home. The Nazis were very clinical and organized in everything they did, they kept really good records which may have gone on to benefit the medical world but damned themselves at the same time. This book speaks volumes of courage and kindness being found in the worse conditions possible. If you have this unexplinable fascination with the Holocaust (like I do) then you will want to read this book.

[Beverley Chalmers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great insight into some women's lives during the Holocaust

[J. S. Seebauer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Wow. The words to describe this re-telling of the atrocities the HUMANS endured fail me. This is a must read.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

A memoir by one of the Nazi doctors' "guinea pigs" who survived Ravensbruck.
This book should be a must-read for every school child everywhere.