The Mummy at the Dining Room Table: Eminent Therapists Reveal Their Most Unusual Cases and What They Teach Us About Human Behavior

by Jeffrey A. Kottler, Jon Carlson

"A wife pretends to hang herself in the basement so she can time how long it will be before her husband comes to rescue her. . . .a woman whose dead aunt was made into a mummy so the family could better grieve her passing and on occasion dine with her at family gatherings . . . a man wants his nose cut off to escape an annoying smell that haunts him . . . a teenage boy would only come to therapy if he could bring his pet snake."

These and other fascinating and revealing stories are told by some of the most famous therapists in the world. Collected in this extraordinary book, well known practitioners recount the most memorable case histories of their illustrious careers. Engaging and surprising stories of human behavior are dramatically and often humorously portrayed. Each chapter gives a behind-the-scenes look at how therapists work with clients whose problems and behaviors aren't found in standard psychology textbooks. The book also shows how these eminent therapists often cure these apparently intractable problems and learn something about themselves in the process.

1 The Man Who Wanted His Nose Cut Off / Jeffrey A. Kottler 7 --
2 The Mummy at the Dining Room Table / Jon Carlson 21 --
3 Buzzy Bee's Oral Fixation / Frank Pittman 32 --
4 An Oedipal Dilemma / Arnold Lazarus 45 --
5 The Urge to Eat from Garbage Cans / William Glasser 55 --
6 The Penis That Needed Permission from the Church / Domeena Renshaw 66 --
7 Therapy with a Gopher Snake and a Horned Lizard / Violet Oaklander 74 --
8 Getting Rid of Old Junk / Harville Hendrix 84 --
9 The Terminator Finds Himself on a Mental Ward / Scott Miller 95 --
10 They Learned to Live with Ghosts / Insoo Kim Berg 105 --
11 The Woman Who Should Have Been Depressed / Michael Yapko 115 --
12 The Woman Who Hated Everyone and Everything / Albert Ellis 126 --
13 The Medicine Man Who Never Had a Vision / Bradford Keeney 136 --
14 The Woman Who Hanged Herself to Check Her Husband's Response Time / Susan Johnson 147 --
15 The Hip-Nose Doctor Finds the Michael Jackson Tickets / Ernest Rossi 157 --
16 The Lawyer from Hell / Arthur Freeman 166 --
17 Reconstructing the Jigsaw Puzzle of a Meter Man's Memory / Robert A. Neimeyer 178 --
18 An Emergency Hypnosis to Solve the Crime at the Burger Joint / Pat Love 191 --
19 Beauty and the Beast / Samuel Gladding 199 --
20 The Lie That Hid in His Back / Gay Hendricks 208 --
21 The Client Who Wanted His Therapist to Be Someone Else / Howard Kirschenbaum 217 --
22 The Bride Wore a Tuxedo, the Groom Wore a Gown / Joel Bergman 228 --
23 Recovering from Recovered Memories / David Scharff 238 --
24 Panic Disorder from Sewer Grates, Amusement Parks, and Sex with Ministers / Howard Rosenthal 249 --
25 The Eighty-Two-Year-Old Prostitute / Jay Haley 257 --
26 Saved by a Ghost / Stephen Lankton 264 --
27 He'll Always Be Black / James F.T. Bugental 275 --
28 "I Wouldn't Mind Being That Guy in the Mirror" / Michael Mahoney 279 --
29 The Three-Year-Old Who Was an Alcoholic / Laura S. Brown 291 --
30 Every Parent's Worst Nightmare / Donald Meichenbaum 299 --
31 The Third Sexual Identity / Peggy Papp 305 --
32 The Bird Colonel Who Turned into an Elephant / Len Sperry 316

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Book Club, Essays, Science, Memoir

325 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Jeffrey A. Kottler is a professor, psychologist, author, consultant, workshop leader, keynote speaker, and social justice advocate who has spent the past 40 years working throughout the world to promote personal and professional development among professionals and marginalized groups. Jeffrey has worked as a teacher, counselor, therapist, and consultant in a variety of settings including a preschool, primary and secondary school, university, mental health center, crisis center, and corporate settings.

Reviews

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

More entertaining than educational. Which kind of creeps me out. Too little psychology, too much drama.

[Michelle Stie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seemed voyeuristic--more about exposing the strange than dealing with how we treat mental illness in our country.

[Liv · Rating 2 out of 5]

A very hit and miss book. Some of these stories were really interesting and actually explained some therapeutic concepts and how they helped in the case. Some of the other stories were purely for shock factor and didn’t really involve therapy helping the patient. Some of the stories were just plain boring.

So a very mixed bag, I’m glad I read it because I have learnt some interesting theories but I definitely wouldn’t read it again.

[Miss Fluffykins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was absolutely fascinated by the stories in this book, and amazed at some of the behaviors and situations therapists have to counsel through! "The Mummy at the Dining Room Table" is a collection of the most memorable cases seen by thirty prominent therapists, and what the therapists learned about life, love, and human beings as a whole. Some of the patients are memorable to their therapists because they are in terrible situations, or have lived through traumatizing events, and risen to the challenge of picking themselves up and moving on with their lives. Others are memorable because they find the patient in a strange situation or condition and the reader can't help but laugh and be thankful that whatever they have gone through in their lifetime, it probably doesn't compare the the lives of these patients. Several actually had me laughing out loud at the craziness these people have managed to achieve in their daily lives.

While this book was an especially eye-opening look into the human mind and the vast field of psychology and other related fields, one thing I wasn't particularly happy about was the authors' apparent assumption that anyone who reads this book is familiar with the different distinctive types of group and individual therapy, hypnosis, psychology, psychiatry, and the various theories and methods practiced in these professions. The authors introduce each spotlighted therapist at the beginning of their chapter, highlighting their respective accolades and chosen therapy methods, but as a layman, it didn't matter if a therapist follows Jungian or Rogerian methods, because I have no idea what either of them entail. While the authors do attempt to describe some of the terminology used, the meanings weren't always clear to me, leaving me still confused as to what exactly this therapist plans to do to treat the patient.

Overall, however, I found this book very educational and entertaining. It's interesting to see what cases these therapists found to be the most memorable, out of the thousands they handle throughout their careers. Any reader, especially those interested in psychology, will be thrilled with the stories and insights in this book. I give it four out of five stars and recommend no one pass up the opportunity to read it.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This really is one of the most intriguing books I've ever read. Not only is every story true, but they're all outrageous enough that they could be fiction. There is a vignette about a family that mummified their mother, a man who fell in love with a cow, and a woman who slept with her father. Each one of these stories inspired me to write, but in the end I couldn't stop reading.
The other great thing about this book is that it highlights what therapists go through as they treat these cases. They have feelings about their clients' actions and sometimes even pass judgment on them. This was really intriguing to me because it's my view that a therapist needs to fully accept a client in order to administer treatment.
There are a couple problems with the book though. The first is that over half the cases deal with sex. Sex is great, sex is all well and good, but it got tiresome after a while to read about sordid affairs between humans and animals. Maybe the therapists really did think their most memorable cases involved sex, but it seemed as if it was more an attempt to engage the general public.
The other aspect that wasn't great was the writing. It seemed very suck-up-y, which maybe wasn't avoidable, but this book felt as if it were written by two news reporters instead of two therapists.
Other than that, this book is well worth checking out at the library.

[Huda Fel · Rating 3 out of 5]

مشاعري متضاربة حول هذا الكتاب
لا أدري أي طريق ساقني إلى قرائته، لكنني فجأة وجدتني أتلهف لالتهام قصصه الواحدة تلو الأخرى
امم
مالفائدة المرجوة من قراءة هذه القضايا الغريبة؟! كل من رآني أحمله طرح نفس السؤال
"إيش حاوجك تتعبي نفسيتك بنفسك"
..
الكتاب يسلط الضوء على نوع من العيادات، نفقده في ثقافتنا وإن كنا في أمس الحاجة إليه
مالذي قد يجعلني أعتقد بخلو مجتمعنا من مثل القضايا المطروحة هنا؟
!لا شيء
لكن الفارق أنهم هناك ، تشبثوا بكل خيط -ولوكان رفيعا وعنكبوتيا أحيانا- لينتشلهم مما هم فيه
بينما نحاول نحن ، وبشتى أنواع الطرق أن نحافظ على أنفسنا بعيدا عن هذا النوع من المساعدة
..
هل سأواجه حادثة أكثر إيلاما من اعتراف والدة من الوالدات
بأنها مدركة جدا أن فلذة كبدها تعاني مشكلة حقيقية
لكنها مع هذا ترفض عرضها على طبيب نفسي؟؟
لأن هذا العمل (المشين) يجلب لها ولعائلتها العار
ماذا سيكون شأن هذه الطفلة عندما تكبر وهي غير مستقرة نفسيا؟
وهل سينفع الندم حينها؟
..
الأمر الآخر.. بكل صدق أجدني متعجبة من هؤلاء الأخصائيين
وردود أفعالهم المتزنة انفعاليا تجاه مايمرون به
وقدرتهم على الفصل تماما بين عملائهم، وحياتهم الشخصية
"هذا لحاله امتحان"


أنصح به كل من لم ينجح في كبح فضوله عن مايجري في تلك العيادات المظلمة
ودمتم بسلام

[Asher J. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was kind of a mixed bag for me. The stories were interesting, but I really didn't like its overall tone. The editorial voice came across as rather pompous, pretty othering toward the clients described, and not especially aware of or engaged with their common humanity.

There were also some odd mismatches of language and theory--it felt like the editors were sometimes doing too much meaning-making within stories they hadn't been a part of (example: a story about a couple whose therapist was asking about bisexual identity, with an aside to the reader that "the term gender-blender had not been invented, yet." What?).

That said, there were a few clinicians in these pages who I deeply respect, and whose own presentation of their cases (and awareness of their own clinical limitations) seemed more compassionate and authentic. I enjoyed the opportunity to read a couple of these--but I probably wouldn't actually spend money on this book. Get it from the library, and give yourself permission to skip the more irritating bits.

[Michael Cunningham · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of first person accounts of the most bizarre therapy encounters ever. This book is interesting because each chapter is written from a different therapists perspective and details how the therapist tackled their bizarre client. The conversations intertwined with the therapists thoughts makes for a very engaging read, if you’re studying psychology, or if you just want to read how a psychologist approaches his sessions with a man who is having an affair with a cow, or a family who has dinner with their deceased mother, then this is the book for you! The Mummy at the Dining Room Table is compiled by psychologist/author Jefferey Kottler and is written with great humour without ever making fun. The book loses a star only because some of the stories weren't as comparatively strong or engaging as the others, however, thanks to the book's presentation it is easy to read only the chapters that hold your attention and interest.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bite-sized stories of eminent therapists' most unusual or noteworthy cases. I picked up this book as a way to explore my own burgeoning interest in therapy. I have been wondering if becoming a counselor is the right path for me. If you're in a similar position, it's a great read. Those who are curious about the workings of their fellow humans' minds will also enjoy this book. I appreciated learning about the different therapy approaches of leading psychologists, counselors, and social workers. My next step: Go through the book again to cull a reading list from the counselors I resonated with the most.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This really was very interesting. I think I was a bit surprised to see how many of the therapists could help their patients when they had such fascinating problems. Also, it is amazing what humans do to cope with life. I felt like the strange things these people were doing were completely understandable, and that was one of the main reasons I enjoyed this book so much. It really seemed to show that people aren't all that crazy, even when they seem to be.

[Kristen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book! Each chapter presents an interesting, and often perplexing, casestudy told by some of the most prominent psychotherapists. I was able to gain insight into the minds of both patient and therapist through the detailed explanations of the treatments. If you like behavioral casestudies, this is the book for you!

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I understand why some would see this as voyeuristic; however, I do not think that is the intention. Some chapters are better than others, but my biggest appreciation for this book comes from the fact that these therapists are sharing the unusual cases (and they all define that differently) and what it meant to them. There are great takeaways.

[Kayla Anderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some very interesting stories (and some creepy ones!). It’s interesting to me that it got some bad reviews for not being a better therapeutic tool, but I don’t think it’s meant to be one. To me, it was more a fascinating look at some intense cases over the years.

[Asia Kmieciak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mam do tej książki bardzo mieszane uczucia. Nastawiona byłam do niej bardzo pozytywnie. Kiedy jednak zaczęłam czytać, przez pierwsze kilkadziesiąt stron byłam mocno rozczarowana. Rozczarowana terapeutami, ich podejściem do problemów pacjentów, opisem tych pacjentów - w rezultacie zaczęłam podchodzić do niej bardzo krytycznie. Myśląc wtedy o całej książce, doszłam do wniosku, że sam jej cel jest dosyć nieetyczny, mocno piętnujący, niesprawiedliwy, ale również łamiący zasady tajemnicy zawodowej. Książka ta to antologia dziwaków, jakby zadaniem terapeutów było wytknięcie palcami ich najbardziej "nienormalnych" klientów. Już abstrahując od tego, że część tych ludzi nadal żyło w momencie publikacji tej książki, to nawet w przeciwnym wypadku wywołuje to we mnie ogromny niesmak. Mówimy przecież o sprawach najbardziej trudnych i delikatnych, momentami wstydliwych, które wpływały na całe życie tych ludzi, a niejeden z pacjentów podzielił się nimi w desperacji, jak sądził, tylko z jedną osobą.
Kończyłam ją jednak z zupełnie innym wrażeniem. Przedstawionych było kilku naprawdę niezwykle empatycznych, elastycznych i szanujących swoich pacjentów terapeutów, a opowiadane przez nich historie faktycznie interesujące i inspirujące są pod względem samych interwencji terapeutów, czy ich perspektywy oceny problemu.
Koniec końców wydaje mi się, że sami twórcy mieli naprawdę dobre intencje, momentami po prostu lekko wymknęło im się to spod kontroli (nie wiem też, na ile ingerowali w treść i formę konkretnych opowieści). Ponadto czuję, że bardzo dużo wyciągnęłam z tej książki.
Nie wiem, na ile zaakceptowałam po prostu z czasem ten zamysł, może rozczuliło mnie w trakcie czytania kilku terapeutów, a na ile książka jest tak bardzo nierówna.
Może to też kwestia interpretowania przez rozmówców autorów słów: "niezwykły przypadek" - część z nich odebrała to mam wrażenie jako synonim "najdziwniejszego człowieka", a inni jako historie ludzi, którzy zmienili ich jako terapeutów lub nauczyli ich czegoś ważnego. Bez względu na to, za końcowy produkt odpowiedzialni są sami autorzy i czułam, że momentami tej odpowiedzialności nie udźwignęli.

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a mash of different therapy/counseling cases provided by a mash of different therapists/counselors, so it's a mixed bag.

There were a few sweet cases that felt really encouraging, and you could clearly see the therapists' compassion. A few cases read like rubbernecking - not particularly compassionate, but interesting. And then I found a few cases downright disappointing. To the man who kept calling the wife of one of his couples "a beauty" - you sound creepy. Stop that. He also implied that he would't expect such a good-looking couple to have any serious problems, which is an alarming thing to hear from a couples counselor. In another story the editors interviewed a male therapist who then discussed a case that he and his wife shared. I mean...why would they not also interview the wife?

Those last two cases I mention rubbed me the wrong way and felt misogynistic.

Overall, if you're interested in learning a bit more about therapy and different therapeutic approaches and styles, I think you'll get something from this book. They list each therapist's notable works so that you can read further, if interested. I appreciate that aspect of the book and for that, I found it worth reading.

[Essam Munir · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Disclaimer: I listened to the book and the narration is amazing*

This book is one of many that drew inspiration from the Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat, however, it falls short in a lot of aspects. First of all, being "strange" is subjective and not always the best thing. Several of the cases seem strange with an element of shock but the reader won't get satisfied by the approach or by the details mentioned. There's always something missing in these cases. Another thing is the lack of general structure as the author writes as the interview went with no attempts to structure the chapters in a similar manner and no expansion on the discussed case. Finally, the book feels like blog posts that you might read from time to time.
Overall, it's a light read with certain boring parts.

[Anmarie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting collection of famous psychotherapists “most bizarre” cases. There were many moments where the stories taken out of context felt very out dated and misguided— particularly regarding properly identifying misogyny, domestic violence, fat phobia and sexuality. I’d also agree with other reviews that many of the cases involve sexual deviant behavior or abuse which feels uncomfortable. At the same time, it’s helpful to see how the profession has grown in its understanding of mental health concerns, and that ultimately — therapists being willing to take risks is what helps us all evolve.

[Esther Leslie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting book! Was cool to see some of the therapists I have been studying in action and hear about their challenging cases. I do feel like the book is a little outdated and a little bit too shocking/detailed in some parts, particularly the first few chapters. But thankfully this was redeemed by other stories throughout the book.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fascinating

[Aliyah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unusual cases of human behaviour.

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very interesting peek not only into some exceptional therapy cases, but also into some really interesting therapists. I enjoyed it.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting book for people interested in psychology from a formal standpoint. I'm most of the way through my MA in Counseling, so I've heard of many of these clinicians and their theoretical models. I think that it can come off as cheaply shocking for a casual reader.

[Sever Gulea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Toate cazurile selecționate cu atenție de Kottler și Carlson evocă deopotrivă potențialul, flexibilitatea, provocările și limitele terapiei: uneori nu funcționează nimic, alteori au loc declicuri esențiale, uneori pacienții știu ceea ce mai bine pentru ei – niciodată nu rămâi cu impresia, așa cum sugerează și lecțiile învățate de psihoterapeuții în cauză, că există rețete uniforme, că există raporturi rigide, că terapia este o activitate supusă unor protocoale pe deplin standardizate.

Volumul celor doi autori americani este un tur de forță într-o lume a eroilor moderni. E vorba de eroi failibili și umani, e vorba de terapeuți care acceptă compromisuri pe cât de ciudate pe atât de fertile precum: vorbitul cu șerpii, hipnoza asistată de așa zișii ghizi, aprobarea aparentă a incestului, discuții libere cu Terminatorul lui James Cameron, cu persoane care își disprețuiesc semenii cu o ura de intensitatea a miilor de sori. E vorba de pacienți care se străduiesc să rămână coerenți, să își construiască narațiuni semnificante chiar și atunci când dezintegrează lumea la orice atingere. Cartea lui Kotler și Carson este, pe bună dreptate, după cum sugerează chiar autorii un omagiu adus curajului pacienților și inventivității terapeuților, o invitație și un exercițiu de a privi lucrurile outside the box, dincolo de paradigma cu care suntem obișnuiți.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far, this is a quick and engrossing read that's made me laugh and wince and stop to think a little. People are so fascinating.

Upon finishing the book, I have to disagree with the reviewers who thought the authors focused overmuch on sexual matters. I feel they first attempted to organize the book thematically, perhaps even breaking the articles into sections, and found there were not clear boundaries between what constituted a case of sexual identity versus a case of overall identity. No doubt the book is better for leaving us to remember the highlights and organize the stories that seem similar into natural groups. Maybe this is why the first half dozen or so stories did treat cases of sexual deviance, but it is not a good summary of the entire collection.

This book could be especially helpful for students and training practitioners of mental health science to find potential 'literary mentors' to guide them in their studies.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another field I'd have gone into if I had a few lifetimes to And I do love a good freak show. So this one jumped out at me from the library shelf whan I was looking for something totally unrelated.Each chapter is written by an eminent therapist, spcializing in various fields, speaking of their most memorable cases. The book starts off with a bang, tales of a horse-lover, violent sociopaths, and the family who kept their mummified mother's remains about the house, giving the book its title. However, the book sort of softens into glossy stories of personal triumphs over very serious disorders, it becomes a seris of "feel-good" stories about saved marriages and recovering addicts. All of that was satisfying reading, but my tawdry tastes were looking for the Tijuana Bible of Pychology cases. It is a good read overall, an interesting look at problem solving, the workings of the mind and the power of persistence and patience. But if shock value is all you're after, skip this one.

[Rosťa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Čtivá kniha pojednávající o nejbizardnějších případech současných předních terapeutů. Je psaná velmi volnou a výpravnou formou, psycholog se tedy nedozví nic hlubšího z probíhajících sezení, laik není zatěžován odbornými výrazy nebo postupy. Z tohoto popisu jasně plyne, že kniha láká především na bizardnosti, které v dnešní době již nepůsobí tak fantasticky, a přesto dokážou člověka zarazit a přimět k zamyšlení.

Pozorný čtenář/psycholog si z příběhů, byť jen velmi vágně a krátce podaných, může odnést i nějáké to ponaučení do života/praxe, když se bude velmi soustředit a snažit.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Chocolate-covered therapy!*

Pure therapeutic heaven! Well-known therapists share their most bizarre cases that have touched them the most---both in memory and heart. A common denominator to all of these stories was that what ultimately mattered most was the relationship between the therapist and the client, and the ability for the therapist to hear the client's song, even if it was from an unfamiliar genre.

[Rhianna Schoonover · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is just one heck of a book! From insight into how the human mind can become attached to certain ideas, beliefs, concepts and just work at them like a dog to a bone. These are all REAL cases, most of which just would make for a fantastic television episode like "Monk", or "Criminal Minds" or the like. Goes a long way to explaining how we, as humans, can treat an idea differently between what's considered "normal" and why someone else would go to a therapist.

[PeggyVW · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fascinating collection of stories from therapists highlighting their most interesting and inspiring cases. I appreciate that many therapists did not choose their greatest success stories. Instead, they chose to write about clients who taught them something new about what it means to be a helping professional. This book gives an amazing glimpse at a wide range of people and their unique experiences!!