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In Praise of Stay-at-Home Moms

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New York Times Bestseller The internationally syndicated radio host celebrates a group of critically important yet usually overlooked women—stay-at-home moms—and offers them words of inspiration and wisdom. “I’m scared out of my mind.” Dr. Laura hears this frequently from women who know that staying home to raise their children is the right thing for their family. Building on the principles developed during her long career as a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Dr. Laura provides a wealth of advice and support as well as compassion and inspiration to help them attain this goal. She pays special attention to the outrageous fact that stay-at-home moms are actually controversial! Dr. Laura offers a profound and unique understanding of how important it is for many mothers to raise their own children, and how stay-at-home moms benefit society.

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

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About the author

Laura Schlessinger

63 books253 followers
Laura Catherine Schlessinger (born January 16, 1947) is an American talk radio host, socially conservative commentator and author. Her radio program consists mainly of her responses to callers' requests for personal advice and has occasionally featured her short monologues on social and political topics. Her website says that her show "preaches, teaches, and nags about morals, values and ethics".

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 428 reviews
Profile Image for ELNAZIOR ( Realm.Of.Ella).
218 reviews
August 9, 2025
تنها دلیلی که امروز تمومش کردم این بود که دوست نداشتم فردا رو هم با این کتاب سپری کنم🙄
اسم کتاب در ستایش مادران خانه‌داره ولی بهتر بود به عنوانِ کتاب یه تیکه‌ی دیگه اضافه میشد "در نفرت از مادران شاغل"
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کاش حداقل قبل اینکه کتاب رو می‌نوشت و در مورد فمنیسیم نظر میداد دوتا کتاب در مورد فمینیسم می‌خوند شاید متوجه میشد چیزی که داره ازش حرف میزنه و به پای فمنیسم میبنده یه چیز دیگه‌ست😶 (لازم به ذکره اگه فمینیست ها نبودن آیا این خانم حق انتخاب داشت که کارش رو ول کنه و بشینه خونه؟ چون در اینصورت کلا مجبور بود بشینه خونه و حق انتخاب نداشت که آیا دوست دارم بمونم خونه یا برم سرکار، تازه ممکن بود به عنوان یه زن حتی حق نوشتن کتاب و پخشش با اسم خودش رو نداشته باشه، شاید حتی دانشگاه هم نمیتونست بره و از عنوان دکترش استفاده کنه)
بیشتر کتاب هم مضمونش این بود که آره بشینین خونه، خرج زندگیتون کمتر میشه چون دیگه پول مهد کودک و رفت و آمد به سرکار رو نمیدین، آشپزی ،غذا پختن و تربیت فرزندان رو به عهده بگیرین و یه زن رویایی برای شوهرت باش، گاهی خسته میشی و حس بی‌ارزش بودن میکنی ولی یادت باشه تو بی ارزش نیستی، اون مادری که میره بیرون به هر دلیلی کار میکنه خودخواهه و تو خیلی خوبی چون من از روی هوا بدون هیجی میگم خیلی خوبی.
چند جایی هم گفت آمار و ارقام و مقالات رو ندید بگیرین و بندازین دور و بشینین خونه😂 همین قسمت آیا کافی نیست که به زرد بودن کتاب پی ببریم؟
و اینکه بعضی جاها اشاره کرده که گاهی خسته میشین ولی در عین حال زنان رو اَبَرزَن فرض کرده که میتونن اگه دلشون میخواد شب تا صبح کار خارج از منزل یا دورکار کنن و کل روز رو در حال سر و کله زدن با بچه ها و خونه داری باشن🙂و در عین حال که نفس عمیق میکشن با گفتن مانترای" من آدم آرومیم بازی نکن با روحیه‌م " به طرز معجزه‌آسایی خوب بشن و بشن یه زن نمونه و فداکار که غذاش آماده روی گازه و خونه‌ش تمیز و مرتبه و بچه‌هاش رو همه خودش بزرگ کرده و درس داده و شوهرش از سر کار میاد و با یه زن مرتب مواجه میشه و زن باید خستگیش رو با نفس و حرکات ورزشی که شاید حتی وقتش رو نداشته باشه برطرف کنه،چون شب‌ها رو هم نسخه پیچیده اگه دلت میخواد شاغل باشی کار کن چون بچه‌هات خوابن.
آها باید به بچه هاشون هم یاد بدن که اگه دوستش مادرش شاغله ، مادر بدیه و فقط من خوبم که نشستم خونه😙 و اگه دوست داری بری مهد کودک با بچه‌ها بازی کنی حق نداری دوست داشته باشی چون به هر حال من خوبم که از همه چیز گذشتم که بشینم خونه که تو نری مهدکودک پس ساکت شو بشین سرجات بذار ماچت کنم که بفهمی اگه مهد کودک بودی الان من پیشت نبودم که ماچت کنم😂
خلاصه که کتاب بیشتر به موضوعش میخورد نفرت‌افکنی علیه زنان شاغل و پرداختت به موضوع زنان علیه زنان باشه هرچند که من با خوندنش قصد داشتم دیدگاه جدیدی در مورد افرادی که تصمیم میگیرن کل زندگی و تحصیلی که به دست آوردن رو رها کنن و خونه بمونن پیدا کنم ولی خب این کتاب برخلاف چیزی که فکر میکردم و پشت جلد خوندم بود🙂
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پ.ن. من به تصمیم مادرانی که تصمیم به خانه‌دار بودن گرفتن احترام میذارم، به مادرانی هم که شاغلن همینطور، هر کسی برای زندگی خودش با توجه به شرایطش تصمیم میگیره، و کسی حق نداره تصمیم دیگری رو زیر سوال ببره.
پ.ن.۲ مادر من شاغل بوده و من در طی این سالها وقتی جایی میگفتم مادر من شاغله و شغلش رو میگفتم حس غرور داشتم. توی بچگیم مهدکودک میرفتم و از اون دوران هم خیلی راضیم چون واقعا خاطرات خوبی دارم، به علاوه من با مادرم هم خیال‌پردازی میکردم و تمام چیزهایی که میگفت مادر شاغل نمیتونه برای فرزندش فراهم کنه از جمله بازی و ... هم با مادرم تجربه کردم و تازه خاطرات قشنگی هم مثل مهدکودک دارم .پس باید به نویسنده گفت که اینکه یه مراجعه بهش گفته توی مهد کودک اوقات خوشی رو نداشته و یا اینکه با مادرش بازی نکرده چون شاغل بوده رو نباید به همه تعمیم بده😊
Profile Image for Kelsey.
14 reviews2 followers
February 15, 2012
I had a friend recommend this to me and I only got through about half of it. Don't get me wrong-- I have praise for stay-at-home moms too, and certainly I think there is a case for staying home with your children. Dr. Laura is just not making that case. In fact I think she made stay-at-home moms look more small-minded and condescending than I could have imagined was possible, all while insulting every woman on the planet who doesn't spend every waking and would-be sleeping moment coddling and nurturing their child. Frankly, I was nauseated and straight-up upset by her perspective. She was so close-minded and showed no compassion for the incredible variety of family situations, touting the singular approach of mother at home all day, father at work all day. She continually made extreme, unsupported statements; perhaps the most blaring was one that essentially stated (in more or less words) that unless the mom was a working in a cathouse or drunk on the couch, every child who had a stay at home ALWAYS felt loved, comforted and safe.

????

Okay I'm sorry, but that is completely absurd, and quite frankly it is wrong. I think the thing that bothered me most about her book was that she kept emphasizing mother being home as the paramount parenting quality, when in fact there are plenty of women who stay at home and are not very good mothers at all. She also continually slandered women who stated that they felt like they would be crazy if they were home all day, so they kept part-time jobs or something. She stated, without exception, that those women needed to get over themselves and spend every moment of their entire day with their children. Here's a thought: if a woman feels insane when she is at home all the time, she's probably not going to be the most amazing mother. Give her a break-- if she's going crazy, it would be healthier for all parties, including the children, if she had some outside activities. Whether that's a part-time gig or volunteer work or whatever I frankly don't care, but I do know that everyone in the family is better off when mother is happy. And if mother is unhappy being closeted in her house all day, then there needs to be a different arrangement.

Further, Dr. Laura continually emphasized that every possible sacrifice should be made so that the mother can be at home all the time. If the husband has to take on 4 jobs and never spend a moment with his family, so be it. It's better for the children to have the 24/7 attention of their mother. Again, what the!?! I was, quite frankly, offended by this approach. I have a much higher opinion of my husband and the future father of my children than that. Her assertion was that the most valuable contribution a father can make is to support his wife in staying at home, and provide for the family. Certainly a man who works hard enough to support his family ought to be praised and acknowledged, but I am confident that is not the sole, nor the most important, offering that a father has for his children. Having had a father that worked non-stop for many years of my childhood and then switched careers so he could better support my mother at home and spend more time with the family, I will tell you this: I would take an involved father over a $-making one EVERY single time. Fathers need to be involved in the raising of their children! They have a valuable, wonderful perspective to offer that cannot be compensated in any other way. I'm offended that Dr. Laura thinks so low of men that the only viable offering they have is money. Personally, I am not so conceited to think that my attention and nurturing alone is enough to meet my child's every possible need. I know that their father needs to be a part of that, and rightfully so.

To her credit, it seems that she does make women who are currently staying at home feel validated about the work they are doing (as evidenced by the positive reviews by "SAHMs" on here). I supposed this could be a good read to validate someone who is already at home and hopes to feel better about her decision. Though personally I would still find it hard not to discredit her praise of SAHMs given her obvious and blatant bias. I would certainly never recommend this to anyone who is considering staying at home, or who works and would like to better understand the value of staying at home. Especially if that person were even remotely bright or intelligent. Dr. Laura's laid back writing style and lack of any real evidence besides anecdotal letters from select fans would be enough to turn off anyone with critical thinking skills.


All that aside, I still think there is a strong case for women to stay at home with their children, particularly when they are infants and young children. But there is a better case for them than the one Dr. Laura makes, and there is a better balance to be found than the ridiculous caricature of family life that Dr. Laura paints here. As one who admires and defends all mothers who make their children the highest priority, I raise my voice in praise of the sacrifice and love they consistently give. And to those that stay at home, I applaud you. Your work is valuable and irreplaceable. I hope someone else writes a more accurate and better-evidenced book defending your actions-- certainly it could be done.
Profile Image for Mary.
73 reviews
February 14, 2011
To be honest, I couldn't finish it. When you choose a path in life, you often search out those who validate and support your choice to buoy you on days when your path is challenging. However, after the first two or three chapters, I felt that the author was so negative towards those whose choice was not mine, that it bordered on superiority. I do not believe that all women who do not stay home with their children do so because of selfishness. She didn't seem to even acknowledge that so many do so because they had no other choice. You can just hear the anger in her voice. And then to think that she is a working mom, by the way (which I've heard her rationalizations for), just seems so hypocritical. You can support and encourage the choices of stay-at-home-moms without denigrating those who choose differently. It felt like the old tactic from school days - put someone else down so that you can feel better about yourself. I can think of a hundred reasons why I'm happy with the choice I've made to be an at-home-mom without even referencing those who continue with careers while raising kids.
Profile Image for Skylar Burris.
Author 20 books278 followers
May 13, 2009
I’m all for hearing myself praised. And in this day and age, it is especially difficult for stay at home moms to feel appreciated; we are often told we are wasting our brains or educations, or we are met with the “What do you do for a living? …. Oh.” But this book, like many of Dr. Laura’s books, is disorganized, quite repetitive, and a little shrill. It contains thrown together quotes from e-mails and her talk show, loosely gathered into chapters.

It didn’t really make me feel all that proud of myself, unfortunately. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the author made it clear that, as a stay-at-home mom, she never missed a single moment with her son all day long, then worked half the night at a successful career as a radio talk show host, all the while having sex with her husband virtually every single night and maintaining a honed body through yoga and other exercise. Yeah. No unrealistic expectations that might diminish one's feelings of accomplishment there.

She’s overly harsh on women who choose to work and place their children in daycare. She claims in her introduction that the book was only written to praise stay-at-home-moms and not condemn working moms, but she says it something like this, “I wouldn’t DREAM of saying working moms are selfish wenches who are destroying their children’s chance at future happiness just because they happen to be selfish wenches who are destroying their children’s chance of future happiness!”

The book has smatterings of random advice for stay-at-home moms, including typical old standbys such as “nap while the children are napping.” And if they don’t nap? Or if they don’t nap at the same time? Or if they nap but you can’t exactly fall asleep on the drop of a dime at 1 PM? She did have important advice about staying positive and not complaining, and since I can’t think of another book dedicated to praising my choice and telling me I’m not a brain-wasting lazy subservient for being a stay-at-home mom, I give it an okay.
Profile Image for Jen.
69 reviews
April 17, 2010
The first 3 chapters praise, but the true beauty of it is the feedback and suggestions it gives you in order to be better at staying home. It gave me a great perspective and a good kick in the pants that was much needed. I was inspired greatly by it and that's why I gave it 5 stars.
Favorites: "One of the greatest blessings in life is to learn to be content with and fulfilled by the small simple things in life. After all, these make up the majority of the human experience"
"It's often better to give support than advice"
"She takes care of our world"
"There could never be a more incredible privilege than to be the heart of your home"
"The mother is the center, the focal point, the life blood of the family"
"An important step in maturation is becoming less self-centered. Being responsible for children, a home, a husband teaches you to live outside yourself for something and someone other than yourself. Getting accolades, applause, bonuses, and such is great...it's just that the ultimate quality of your life is not in your resume, but in the minds and hearts of those you mean something to because you gave of yourself to them"
"When you make the decision to ENJOY being a stay-at-home-mom more important that just to be a stay-at-home-mom, you will discover all sorts of things about yourself"
"Enjoying it is a decision you make every day"

Profile Image for SusanwithaGoodBook.
1,107 reviews2 followers
May 21, 2012
As a stay-at-home and homeschooling mother I have at times felt the derision from working mothers of my choice to stay home. I’ve heard that I’m wasting my intellect, my college degree, and my time. I’ve heard the age old “My kid just looooooves daycare or preschool or his after school program.” And then there’s the ever popular, “I just couldn’t do that, I’d be SO BORED!” But the most upsetting one for me has always been the strangely popular “I just couldn’t do that, they drive me crazy! I love it when they go to school. I even hate holidays and summer!” I’ve always wondered why these people even had children. Maybe that’s why I truly enjoyed this book.

Doctor Laura’s book is definitely going to upset the working mom, so if you’re one of those, don’t bother to pick it up. She definitely puts down that choice, and gives plenty of good concrete reasons for believing that the love and attention of an unhurried, unstressed mother is best. A fair reading of it shows that Doctor Laura acknowledges that not every family is perfect, but she maintains that a stay at home mother is still better than a working one unless the mother is abusive or neglectful. She uses hyperbole to make her points at times, but she also uses concrete examples and testimonials from real life mothers and children. [My own experience working in a day care center mirrors the comments from the writers in her book. After two days in that place, I knew I’d never put any child of mine in one.]

A lot of the book is devoted to explaining to the stay-at-home mom that if you’re still feeling overly stressed or not enjoying it, then you probably aren’t doing it right. Husbands are critical to the family, and Doctor Laura is big on the necessity for a happy, healthy marriage to support the growth and development of the children, even with mom at home. She encourages moms to remember to make their husbands - their marriages - a priority. This is not done to make moms feel less than, but to help them see that if their marriage is strong, they will, in turn, be happier in the long run. She strongly emphasizes not making your children the center of the universe, but rather part of the family unit - a team - working through life’s problems together. She also gives lots of other tips on getting rest, finding support, and - most of all - looking for the little joys in a simple life of spending time in the family.

It really is a beautiful picture of the way a family should work. So many in our world want to put down the family structure, and marriage and children as a priority in favor of the self. Women are encouraged to “find themselves” and find fulfillment in ways other than in a family. It was refreshing for me to read a book that reminds us to find our fulfillment in our families and in serving each other.
Profile Image for Dianna.
1,954 reviews43 followers
January 14, 2010
I thought I would like this book more, considering I'm a stay-at-home mom. And her message is great: it's a nice change to hear someone saying that being there for your kids is important, as I believe it is.

But the tone of this book bothered me. The over-casual writing style and a few dumbed-down grammatical choices (like less instead of fewer and a few others) led me to believe that either Dr. Laura or her editor or both feels that stay-at-home moms (or SAHMs, as she calls them) need to be talked down to.

I also don't like her portrayal of men. Some men are actually intelligent and care about their families. As much as she bashes "feministas" (I have no idea where she came up with that word) in her book, she sounds like one almost every time she talks about men—because she treats them as animals or objects, not as people.
Profile Image for Kater Cheek.
Author 37 books291 followers
August 25, 2011
I chose to be a stay-at-home mom, and did so for more than a decade, so it came as a surprise to me that a book dedicated to lauding my decision would piss me off so much. I'm giving it three starts, because I enjoyed reading it. Apparently, I kind of like to be pissed off. It gives me great fodder for book reviews.

I've read other books by Dr. Laura, including the ten things people do to mess up their lives. For those of you who haven't been exposed to her books or her talk show, she's basically a conservative taskmistress who coaches people to act prudently and put their duties above their desires. Not terrible advice, especially if you have a tolerance for myriad references to God. Ie, teach your children to live a godly life.

Generally, her arguments for being a SAHM are that being with your children, and raising them, is the best thing for them, and that it's a duty and a privilege, more important than anything else to do with your life. If you're pregnant and on the fence about what childcare options are right for you, this is not the book you're looking for. This is the book that your (mom, sister, friend, aunt) who is already firmly in the SAHM camp will hand you to convince you.

The strongest arguments this book posits are the ones where women talk about sad children at day cares who want to be with their families instead of at a place with too many rules and too little love. I have to say this is a compelling argument. Anything that's considered women's work (cleaning, cooking, caring for children or the elderly) is paid peanuts, and if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Is having a mother at home better for the children? On this page, Dr. Laura and I are in agreement. Is it better for the husband? I also agree. I mean, who DOESN'T want a wife at home? I want one myself. Is it better for the woman? Dr. Laura says yes. Of course. That's what God and nature have created you for. She glosses over concerns, such as this woman's, whom Dr. Laura coached on the importance of being a SAHM.

"At first she felt like less of a person, leaving her professional life to be 'just' a mom....She would watch people's eyes glaze over when seh told them seh was a SAHM, and she felt like she had to rush in with a 'But, before I left I was...,' as if to prove her intelligence to them."

This is a real, valid concern. Often, when you tell people that you're concerned about how you are viewed, you'll get the blase "What do you care what other people think?" which always strikes me as facile and ignorant. We live in society, and what society thinks impacts us. Anyone who insists that one can just ignore what all ones peers think (and by peers, I include the entire western hemisphere, and the media which binds us) is either willfully blind or socially maladjusted. The problem with being a SAHM is that your pay (which is to say, none) is the same whether you cook your own organic vegetables, make gourmet meals, homeschool your children, and teach them to play guitar while maintaining a spotless house, or if you're the kind of SAHM mom who sits and watches television all day, drinking bourbon and eating frosting straight from the can. Except for the homeschooling (and I taught multimedia visual art, not guitar) I was more of the former kind of mom than the latter, and yet, I saw the same eyes-glazing-over when I told people what I did. It's hard to feel proud of your occupation when your society largely sees you as a slack-jawed heifer who sits at home all day because she's too lazy to get a "real" job.

Dr. Laura also glosses over the important fact that a SAHM is financially dependent on a man. As television is wont to tell us, a wife who cares for her children instead of working is laudable, in a mousy, God-fearing, martyr kind of way, but a single woman who cares for her children instead of working is just a lazy, good-for-nothing welfare queen. Dr. Laura seems to think that if a woman puts her husband and children at the center of her life, if she makes sure that she's always happy and cheerful and loving and doting, that she remains sexy and always gives and gives, that she won't get divorced. After all, only women who selfishly listen to "feministas" who brazenly mislead these poor women into thinking they need autonomy, those are the shrews who get divorced, as a direct result of them emasculating their husbands with their demands for equality. One would think, by reading this, that real men desire happy placid fembots rather than complex human beings.

"'It is important...to shield your family from youer personal sufferings'" a SAHM wrote Dr. Laura, and Dr. Laura agreed. "Those are wise words. That means you have to 'stifle yourself.' Well, in a word, yes!"

Still, if you, like me, have been a SAHM incensed when tv watching mouthbreathers who haven't read a book in a year dismiss you as uneducated because they sit in a cubicle all day and you "just" watch children and maintain a home, this is a good pick-me-up that someone out there knows you made a good choice. I agree with Dr. Laura that one occasionally has to make sacrifices for what's important. You can have it all, you just can't have it all right now. And, like she says, your children will only get one childhood, don't you want to be there for it?

However, Dr. Laura loses me when she trots out the old tired gender roles and expects us to fit neatly into them. At one point, she has an anecdote about a woman who was complaining that while she was at work the house didn't get cleaned and the dinner didn't get cooked and her husband and son got a stressed out wife and mom when she was at home in the evenings. Dr. Laura responds:

"Well, the obvious answer to this problem is to hire a housekeeper, a cook, a personal assistant to take care of errands and calls, a nanny as a surrogate mother, and a surrogate sex partner for the husband, who largely bears the brunt of the exhaustion, resentment, and outright anger of his overworked, frenzied spouse..."

Wait, hold up a minute. The husband is the one who has to suffer the most, because he--poor lad--has to live with a woman who is overworked. It seems to me that the obvious solution is to share the housework, but of course, that doesn't occur to Dr. Laura. Men don't do housework or cooking or cleaning. Men are men and women are women, and when they step outside their gender roles, chaos and horror ensue.

This book is very much geared towards women. She gives advice for how to handle your men like, don't argue, just say this is imporantant to you and you know he'll be man enough to accept the responsibility. She talks about "priming the pump," ie. sweeting your man up with praise so that he'll be more tractable. She insists that it's a well known fact that happier men will spontaneously help with the housework. I'd like to see a double blind study testing this, as I'm not convinced, but okay. Nowhere is there anything about how to please your SAHM when she's been caring for your children all day. Nowhere in this book is there the idea that maybe you and your spouse share the same gender, or that you might have a non-standard arrangement. Nope. If you are reading this book, you are female and heterosexual. End. Of. Story.

This is what riles me up more than just about anything. Because no one is completely male or completely female. All people who have female bodies have male characteristics, and all people with male bodies have some female characteristics. Saying "these are men and those are women" reminds me of when I was a child and my mom told me to sort my laundry into lights and darks. Like a primary-school wardrobe, people don't fit neatly into one category. (Yes, even something as superficially binary as gender.) Dark and light should be as easy as male and female. So where does the lime green go? How about the red and white striped jersey? And the floral print? And the check? Maybe the charcoal grey and the pale yellow feel that they're not too squished in their narrow category, but just because I'm not navy blue doesn't mean I like being lumped in with the pastels. I think this is a conservative thing, wanting everyone to fit into neat categories. The ultra-conservative viewpoint wants people to be clean and simple, to fit into their external category no matter how they feel on the inside.

And the decision to be a SAHM isn't a simple one. Like life, it doesn't fit into one category or another. If you make the decision to stay at home, you take a huge risk by absenting yourself from the job market and placing your trust in a spouse, knowing that half of marriages are going to end in divorce. If you make the decision to continue working when your child is born, you take a risk that your child will suffer (and/or you will suffer) by not being together. Like my Kindergarden wardrobe, the decision is more like a pink pair of shorts dotted with purple footprints that doesn't fit neatly into good or bad. It's a judgement call.

I recommend this book for SAHMs who want some encouragement. I recommend it for husbands and fathers who support a wife who cares for the family, so you can feel good about yourself. I also recommend it for conservatives who want to feel self-righteous and liberals who enjoy a good bout of indignation. I do not recommend it for women who are financially constrained to work while their little ones are in day care. You have enough on your plate without having Dr. Laura breathe down your neck.
Profile Image for Carrie.
113 reviews21 followers
July 19, 2009
I LOVE THIS BOOK!!! I checked it out from the library, but I want to buy my own copy so I can highlight and mark it all up. I need to return it tomorrow and have found myself wanting to refer back to stuff that I now can't find :( (some GREAT quotes I wanted to share in this review.) Anyway, I would reccommend this book to ANY woman who has ever thought of having children. It is in NO WAY a bash on working moms. I have respect for others desicions just as they should have respect for mine. Being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is HARD!!! Being a working mom is HARD!!!! We are in no competition here. We both love being moms and would not change it for anything. We (most of us) have that in common. I feel that SAHM's are incredibly under valued. I am sick, sick, sick and tired of the "Oh, I JUST stay at home with my kids...." Whaa???? You JUST stay home w/ your kids??? That's NO SMALL thing people!!!! No one reads my reviews anyway, so as long as I am saying what I feel, I just think SAHM are too easily dismissed and undervalued for the most part. But just as I finished this book, my husband looked me in the eyes and lovingly told me that I AM doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. He is happy with me just as my heavenly father is. That's enough for me. Right now my life is about raising my kids, and THAT is by and Large the BIGGEST, most rewarding success I will EVER have!!!! :) (((No other success can compensate for failure in the home....LOVE THAT QUOTE!!!))

Anyway, there are many, many subjects and aspects of this book I love. It has been a great support to me and affrimation that even though the world does not hold SAHM's in the highest regaurd, my kids do. They are all that truly matter to me anyway. I am SICK of others asking me "what do you do all day?" freak!!! I swear most days i feel busier than the president!! (just a figure of speech of course!) I am happy to take care of the world as my son, daughter and husband see it. i am thankful for a husband that gives me breaks. although i am not JUST a mom, I am a sister, daughter, friend, wife. But, my favorite is wife and MOM!!! i am purley tired right now!!! so that will explain these strage ramblings. so enough of me for now.
362 reviews40 followers
April 20, 2011
Let me just get this part out in the open: I am a stay-at-home-mom and I feel that yes, she really does trash working moms in this book. Even though she states right there in the preface, "I come to praise at-home moms, not to bury full-time working moms." I do remember quite a bit of controversy over this book was it was released. This book was a gift from a friend who is a working mom, interestingly enough.

Now, that said, this book came to me at just the right time. Things are difficult right now and lately when I'm tired and frustrated, I start asking myself "Why am I doing this?" This book reminded me that it is all about your perspective and attitude and reminded me of all the reasons I chose to be a SAHM. It felt nice to get a pat on the back. I'm glad I'm able to raise my children and be there for every "first" and most days I love it. I liked the book more than I was expecting to.

One more gripe...Dr. Laura makes lots of negative comments about the feminist movement in this book that REALLY irritate me. The feminist movement is what allowed her to attend college and be a big career woman for so many years before she had her epiphany about wanting to be home with her child. Thanks to the feminist movement, being a SAHM is a CHOICE that women can make, not the only option. Shame on you Dr. Laura for completely disregarding the bravery and sacrifice of the women who came before you and helped open up our society and your opportunities in life.



Profile Image for Kelley.
283 reviews4 followers
August 13, 2009
Two stars means "it was okay" and that's about all I can say for this book. I didn't hate it. I am a stay at home mom, for Pete's sake! I just thought it would be better titled, "In criticism of working moms." She just attacks them over and over, pretty harshly. I believe in staying at home, but I don't know if she goes about the argument the right way(aka rage-filled ranting). I also think she paints too pretty a picture of staying at home. She talks about how you're there to see all the "firsts" and to give hugs and watch the darlings grow, etc. She glosses over the fact that it's HARD!!!! Way harder then any job I've ever been paid for! Anyway, there's my two cents. I guess the bottom line was, I wanted a book admitting that what I do is hard and encouraging me to keep at it, but this book is more for the "thinking about quitting my job" or the "stay at home moms are worthless" crew, not the ones already living it.
52 reviews1 follower
July 17, 2009
First, I would like to address what I thought was good about this book. Stay-at-home moms do not have many champions in our society. It is refreshing to read a book dedicated to cheerleading for stay-at-home moms.

I liked all of the letters that Dr. Laura shares in the book that are from her readers/listeners.

Unlike some fellow reviewers, I don't think that this book is mocking or degrading working moms. Afterall, the author IS a working mom herself. She has authored 15 books, had a television show, and a radio show. All this while raising her son. When asked by some what she did for a living, I doubt that she has ever replied that she is a "stay-at-home mom"!

What I disliked about this book is Dr. Laura's pious tone. Many mothers don't have a spouse to help care for the children and must work. Others simply need 2 incomes to make it. I for one could never afford to pay someone to come and stay with me for 2 weeks postpartum. I definitely can't afford a personal trainer to tone me and a pilates instructor to stretch me out! Sometimes mothers are forced to work, not that they want to work.

I also don't think that Dr. Laura is really the person who should be writing this book. Afterall, she really isn't nor has she been a stay-at-home mom. A stay-at-home mom is someone that STAYS AT HOME and isn't the primary breadwinner! A stay-at-home mom isn't someone who is home most of the day and works at night. Additionally, I don't like being preached at by a divorcee who shacked up with her current hubby for 9 years before bothering to marry him. Her current hubby, according to what I have read, was still married to his first wife (mother to 3 of his children) when Dr. Laura became involved with him.

Speaking of hubbies, I didn't like Dr. Laura's division of labor between a stay-at-home mom and her working husband. My hubby does help out around the house, even washing dishes once in a while. He certainly doesn't just plop down after "a hard day at work" (like I've been laying on the couch eating bon bons all day!) while I wait on him hand and foot!

Apparently, the wifey-poo should be a godess of calm who stays thin, prepares meals, and wants to jump in the sack at any given moment. The husband should be "pumped up" and told that he is "the man"! While I do believe that husband and wife should bolster each other's self esteem, she repeats this litany of shameless pumping up the man over and over. My husband knows that he is a man and has confidence and faith in himself. While he appreciates compliments from me, he doesn't need them to bolster a flagging self-esteem.

Stay-at-home moms do work. They are the backbone of the family. I do agree with her there. I just don't understand why someone who has been the main support of her family is even writing this book to begin with. Perhaps it is to continue to support her and her husband in the lifestyles to which they have become accustomed.
Profile Image for Lisa.
1,529 reviews15 followers
Read
January 15, 2012
I read the sample that Kindle sent me, about 2 chapters or so. I'm very pro-sahm too but jeez, she basically bashes working moms and degrades even the notion. Then she tells about how she worked during the night and woke up really early and did all this to, apparantly, never be away from her kids - ever. Except when she was traveling, working on book tours, etc. I don't know, I know I didn't read the whole thing so I shouldn't judge, but her condescending tone really irked me from the get go and she seemed extremely hypocritical and insensitive. Like I said, I'm pro-sahm too but if a mom wants to work, that's their choice and no one has the right to tell them otherwise. Dr. Laura should not feel the need to boost herself up by bringing others down, it's just not right!! The choice of staying at home is an individual choice and those that do stay at home shouldn't boast about it, but just be honored that you can do it and not judge those who don't make the same choices.
Profile Image for Lacey Louwagie.
Author 8 books68 followers
October 5, 2014
I REALLY hope stay-at-home moms have a better advocate out there in the world than Dr. Laura.

I want to preface this review by saying that I think there are LOTS of good reasons to stay home with your children, some of which Dr. Laura manages to stumble upon in the midst of her rants. I also think there are lots of good reasons for going back to work, and that this is a situation where there is NOT a "one-size-fits-all" solution -- something that people on "both sides" of the "Mommy wars" seem to forget.

Back in January, I read The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much?, which argued for women staying in the workforce. I wanted to read something that showed the other side of the issue because this is a question I am deeply engaged with when it comes to my own future. But this book couldn't even come close to "The Feminine Mistake"--and not because of the viewpoint embraced, but because of the way Dr. Laura delivers it.

She opens with a preface claiming that she's not going to judge women for their choices, and then goes on to do exactly that for the next several hundred pages. I think EVERY SINGLE PAGE had some dig at mothers who work for pay, and that includes mothers who work from home and those who work part-time. There is not a SINGLE mention that a father might be the parent who chooses to stay home; instead, she stresses how you have to let your husband "be the man" by earning all of the family's income. She also gets pretty cagey around the issue of her OWN career, insisting that she's the EXCEPTION to the rule of working while you have young children because for her "her children always came first". (As if that's not true for the millions of other parents who work for pay?)

She doesn't include a SINGLE statistic or study to back up her point of view because she feels that "statistics are divisive" (and calling working women selfish and shallow isn't?), and instead bases her whole argument on anecdotes from women who have written into her radio show. For every saccharine story of the sweet thing your child said about you as a stay-at-home mother, there's an anecdote about an adolescent who is contemptuous of Mom's invisible role, or a divorce that leaves a stay-at-home mother scrambling to stay afloat financially.

Oh yes, and what about those single parents? Her solution for THEM is that they get "night jobs" so that they can work while their children sleep and be stay-at-home moms during the day. It is SO obvious that she's never had to face this situation on her own because then she would have realized that

1) As a parent, you NEED to sleep sometime, too.
2) Even if you're at work while your child is asleep, YOU STILL NEED CHILDCARE. And you're going to pay more for it overnight. Which means
3) you're sleeping during the day rather than interacting with your child, or you're not sleeping nearly enough, and either way you're still paying for childcare for the hours you are gone.

HOW is this an ideal solution?

This book has absolutely no organization whatsoever and just circles around the same old tropes over and over again like a broken record. If you've read the first quarter, you've read the whole thing. If I'd stopped there, as I'd wanted to, I wouldn't have missed a thing.

I have a feeling the audiobook was probably harder to take than the print version because I had to listen to Dr. Laura's condescending voice the whole time. I want to be very clear that I rated this book so lowly NOT because of any disrespect toward stay-at-home parents, but because it was the vehicle through which I learned firsthand what I'd only suspected in the past:

Dr. Laura Sucks.

[If you know of another book that makes a cogent argument for the stay-at-home parenting decision without all the unsubstantiated, conservative BS, please leave me your recommendation!]
Profile Image for Lisa.
1,724 reviews1 follower
August 7, 2009
This was a great book. It reinforced the reasons that I chose to become a stay-at-home mom and gave great advice on how to deal with different issues that women face while being one. Specifically, she talks about women who feel like they to give their credentials so people don't think that they're "just" a mom. This was so me until a few months ago. It was a hard transitions going from an MBA graduate and career woman to a stay-at-home mom. I've never regretted the decision but I have felt looked down upon for my decision. I stopped feeling this way a few months ago simply because I just stopped caring. I'm doing what's best for me and my family and that's all that matters!

I would recommend this book to people deciding whether or not to be stay-at-home moms or women who already are. This is a short book, by the way. It took me just a couple of hours to read it.
Profile Image for Emily Eddleman.
6 reviews2 followers
July 28, 2019
I picked this book up because I heard someone on social media talking about it and I was just curious about it. I was expecting to just read a few chapters just to see what it was like. But i ended up reading the book in like 3 days.

This book goes into discussion about why someone would want to be a SAHM and the way women who chose to do so sometimes are looked down upon by Society, working women and feminist. It also discusses the struggles, sacrifices and guilt that comes along with that decision.
I love how this author was not afraid to be blunt about an opinion that is not “popular” in this day and time. She talks about the fact that being a SAHM is not a woman being lazy, unmotivated or uneducated, like some try to make them feel. But rather a sacrifice you make for your children, husband and overall family.

“The value system of these times looks at the stay at home mom as a drain to the family finances, and and imposition on the husband, who bears the weight of supporting the family.”

I appreciated her boldness to go against what most media and society thinks is a successful woman. And to give validation and importance to those who choose to “be their children’s mommy’s “ as she liked to put it.
Profile Image for Jessica Deany.
354 reviews9 followers
February 26, 2019
DNF. I could barely get past the intro where, though the whole purpose of the intro is to say she doesn't judge, she makes jabs at women who work or have childcare instead of being stay at home moms. I guess I thought this would be a book to feel good about my decision to stay home, not one that puts down the choices of many of my close friends. Hers definitely isn't an attitude I care to read, much less strive to emulate. (All this from the intro and first part of the first chapter...I didn't give it much of a chance past that.)
Profile Image for KM.
61 reviews
October 19, 2018
In the introduction, Dr. Laura stated this book was not meant to downplay or discredit working moms in lieu of the “moms war”, and yet the entire book talked about why stay at home moms are better than working moms.
Profile Image for Claire.
235 reviews71 followers
May 27, 2018
Refreshing, affirming, and inspiring
Profile Image for Sarah.
227 reviews1 follower
June 22, 2024
Obviously I was not going to LOVE this because I am not a stay-at-home mom, but I was interested to see if I could be convinced that I should be. I am feeling bad about myself a little bit thanks to her harsh approach putting down all non stay-at-home moms. So she was successful in accomplishing that.
Profile Image for Yellow Rose.
38 reviews10 followers
August 21, 2012
Staying Home is the Best Work an Intelligent and Dignified Woman should Pursue

I really liked this book, the Premise of the book is beautiful, and I wholeheartedly agree with the fact that women should stay home to raise their children and help their husbands.

The drawback of the book is that the author is concerned with career women who have decided to stay home. Therefore, she deals with all the issues these women might encounter on their switch to becoming a stay at home mother. She talks about how to convince your husband. It is so sad that husbands these days need convincing that it is beneficial for a woman to stay home. Back in the days, it was shameful for a man to make his wife work outside the home. The man by law had to support and provide for the woman's well being so she can raise happy healthy children who in turn become useful members of society. She also talks about the transition into staying home such as the feeling of "dependence" and loss of identity that women might feel. She presumes that her readers are all oriented independent career women wannabes just like Dr. Schlessinger.

Therefore, I think this book is great for mothers who are thinking to become stay at home moms and leave their careers in order to raise children and take care of the family, a highly recommended book.

Nevertheless, what Dr. Laura fails to mention is the enormous amount of pressure that young women especially late teens and early twenties experience, to become career women. Surveys tells us that if a woman had a chance over 50% of women would stay home to raise children it is either distrust, lack of money and other social factors where society sees stay at home moms as "useless" mentality that draws a lot of the women to actually go on and have careers although they might not want to. Eventually the career and the "double burden" at home destroys these women and there families. There is no peace the wife is cranky because she must do all the work a husband gets cranky that his wife is nagging him and children suffer. Marriages were a woman and men both work are more likely to dissolve and fail as studies tell us.

Overall, I recommend this book even thought I believe it has its drawbacks because Dr. Laura wrote this amazing little book that actually praises stay at home mothers. In addition, in this modern society were stay at home moms are seen as lazy, parasitic, and depressed. We need more books that tell us of the virtues and the positives of being a stay at home mom.

It is the hand that rocks the Cradle that Rules the world after all. To have a good society we must have stable and positive families that bring joy and happiness to the world and to everyone. This book is just about that it is celebrating stay at home moms, because stay at home moms are strong women who are doing the most important job in the world.

The biggest changes in the world start with happy and successful families.
Profile Image for Virginia.
39 reviews5 followers
May 4, 2018
Some great points are made, albeit often buried under a pile of gender-normative and unnecessarily oppositional language.
Profile Image for Amy.
59 reviews1 follower
January 21, 2018
I really enjoyed this book. As a stay-at-home-mom myself (and a woman who fervently believes that is the ideal way to be a mom), I appreciated hearing how important the work I'm doing really is. I haven't yet hit a point where I doubt that, or where I feel that I would rather be doing something else with my life, and I don't feel like I'm "wasting" my talents or my college degree, but there are definitely days when things are just HARD and it's nice to get a little pat on the back and hear someone say, "You're great--and you CAN do this!" I also really appreciated all the advice and suggestions Dr. Laura offers for SAHMs (like how to respond to people who criticize you for being "just a mom" or websites to check out for creative ways to keep kids entertained).

That said, I have to address Dr. Laura’s tone. Throughout the book, she speaks against career women and feminista types in an almost unbearably harsh manner. Although I didn’t particularly love this, I think you have to call into mind her purpose for writing the book. Certainly there are notable exceptions and situations where women can not and even should not stay home with their children, for whatever reason, but I don’t believe Dr. Laura wrote this book for these women. I believe she intended this book to be a source of support and validation for SAHMs, and a wake up call to women who choose not to be SAHMs specifically because they feel it would be a waste of their time and talents, or just plain boring. To those women, I say let the truth be spoken unapologetically, not to offend but to ENLIGHTEN and (hopefully) inspire—children need their mothers, and that message should be shouted from rooftops, not whispered quietly under a blanket.
Profile Image for Kristina Rich.
58 reviews2 followers
June 8, 2011
Being a stay at home mom I thought this book would relate to me more. the first 1/3 of the book is basically talking about ultra feminists who think they can do it all and have it all while someone else raises their kids, then on to deciding to be a SAHM and then convincing your husband to let you stay home. None of which I really cared for. I must say that my husband and I knew before we had kids that I would stay at home. I do not feel like I need a pat on the back for my decision. Yes, its hard, its rewarding and its my own personal choice. There are plenty of women around the world who are single and forced to work and I don't think it makes them any worse of a parent. They could probably use more praise than the stay at home moms! I don't feel looked down on by society because of what I do. So I guess this book is pretty much null and void to me because I don't need praise to know what I do is worth while. I just know it and I can tell by how it affects my family life. Now as far as reviewing the book, I did think that Dr. Laura was a little hypocritical being as she works outside of the home when her kids are at school or sleeping. That is not really considered homemaking in my book, but whatever. Most of the book was letters from listeners that were somewhat uplifting to read, but by the 20th one I started to feel like they were all saying the same thing over and over again. She did add some of her own feelings and jokes that were somewhat funny in between the letters. Maybe since I'm a little bit seasoned at being at home, I just don't feel like I need that kind of support anymore. I think this is more geared towards women before they have kids and brand new moms who haven't quite trained their husbands haha ;)
Profile Image for Donna.
342 reviews
February 24, 2010
My mom bought me this book because she thought that it would be interesting for me since two years ago I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. I had no expectations for the book. I never followed Dr. Laura Schlessinger before or knew anything about her. I have to say that I have mixed feelings about the book. I did not dislike the book, however I did not like the author's tone---a little too defensive and sarcastic---even though she claims she is not being just that. My philosophy in life is, what is good for one person may not be good for the next. I feel like every person makes a decision based on their lifestyle, income and values. I don't have the right to judge a woman who works just as she doesn't have the right to judge me because I stay home. I found some parts of the book a little too traditional for me. The male and female roles in the book were so clear cut and in reality I don't think they are that clear. I do love being home with my children and seeing their firsts and having the time to do activities with them, but if a woman financially needs to work to help support her family she is sacrificing too as a mother. Not every family can live on one income and those that can are very blessed. I enjoyed the "praise" through the book and the acknowledgement for what I do on a daily basis for my family but not at the expense of putting another woman down because of her choice. If you are a SAHM it is not a bad choice to read the book a long as you can read it without taking it literally. Make your own intelligent decisions on what is good and right for you, personally, and your family.
Profile Image for Erica.
197 reviews
April 20, 2009
I have mixed feelings about this book (it was a lot different than I was expecting). At time it made me feel so lucky that I'm a stay at home mom, but it seemed like a lot of the book was trying to help people cope with not being at work. I never had a problem quiting work to be a stay at home mom, so that aspect of the book didn't really apply to me. I also felt that at times she sort of criticized moms who work, eventhough in the introduction she said this book was not going to do that! I also have a wonderful husband who supports me and wants me to be a stay at home mom. A lot of the book talked about how to get your husband to agree with you staying at home and having only one income. If you feel like you need that extra little push and encouragement th quit your job and be a stay-at-home mom, then this book would be good to read. At the end of the book there is three pages full of websites to help stay at home moms. They include websites about: receipes/cooking, coupons/saving money, budgets, organization, kids' play/games, working from home, and support groups. I haven't checked any of them out yet, but they look interesting.
Profile Image for kyersten.
92 reviews2 followers
May 6, 2009
I bought this book to give to my sister for Mother's Day,
Happy Mother's Day Lydia!!
Of course I had to read it first before mailing it off. I am a fan of Dr. Laura, I try to listen to her when I can. I appreciate her way of telling it like it is and not worring about whether it's PC or not. I didn't have kids so I could warehouse them off to someone else to raise, and I don't need a paycheck to make me feel like I contribute or am of importance. I am doing the most important work of all, raising smart, confident contributors to society. A home should be an oasis for family to get away from "worldly influences" not another burden for a working mom. How must that crush a childs self-esteem knowing they are a burden to their parents? A child needs to know mom loves him more than anything especially more than a job. Imagine if all mother's took their responsibility seriously and stayed at home to love and teach their children moral values? Less violence, less addictions, less selfishness, less divorce? You bet. Thank you Dr. Laura for once again praising Stay-at-Home moms.
480 reviews9 followers
June 5, 2009
Well, I certainly wouldn't have picked this book for myself, but since Ken got it for me for Mother's Day it was an interesting read. The thing I don't like about Dr. Laura is her tone. She can come off as so condescending and arrogant that it can be hard to really get her message. At once point I started feeling like a lot of what she was trying to say (which is great, by the way if you can get past her tone) is similar to what Thich Nhat Hanh says in "Anger." Basically, if you want to get good back from your family you first have to give good. Only with Dr. Laura it is more of a gender specific thing and for Thich Nhat Hanh it is more generalized. After I decided that they are basically saying the same thing, except for the gender differentiation that Dr. Laura makes, it was an easy read. It did make me feel empowered as a woman for the power that I have over the happiness and comfort of my family. I think it is easy for us moms to sometimes feel powerless and isolated and alone, but this book made me feel a sense of power, responsibility, and connectedness to society and other women.
16 reviews
February 8, 2010
My faith gives this book a mixed review. I appreciate the praise and kind words Dr. Laura gives SAHMs, but I think the tone of the book is what I struggled with. I believe every woman has her own thoughts on the subject of working vs. staying at home. I think if you are fortunate enough to be called mom ... you will be working full time every day for the rest of your life. Joy is what you find in those every day moments with your children whether you are at home or working. My refrigerator is sprinkled with homemade artwork, my mirrors have hand prints and smudges by the end of the day, and I am blessed. My life is extremely rewarding looking through the eyes of my children. I believe you can be at home and be absent as well as working but too busy for your children. I think it was one of Dr. Laura's letters in her book where the woman wrote... "as a woman, you can have it all just not all at the same time". Women in general need to be more supportive of each other, loving, and kind if for no other reason than those sweet little faces... our children.
43 reviews1 follower
December 12, 2009
I agree with you completely Kelly...this book basically said the same argument in many different ways. I too believe that a child having a stay at home mom is priceless, and I'm really thankful I can do it for my children.
In our book club when we discussed it many different points of view were represented so it was interesting.

My only complaint about the book is Dr. Laura. I agree with what she says, I admire her for defending the truth even when it makes her unpopular...but she can be so rude to people when they call in, she bugs me! I also felt like this book was a little bit of her tooting her own horn (especially the part when she talks about what a hottie 60 year old she is, ha ha!) I'm sure she was a great mom, but honestly I don't think she REALLY understands what it means to be a stay at home mom...she always had her career going on in the background...her situation is definitely different than your average stay at home mom.
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