The Kindergarten Wars: The Battle to Get into America's Best Private Schools

by Alan Eisenstock

Provides advice on the private school application process from teachers, educational consultants, and admissions directors, and discusses whether particular kindergartens may help children gain acceptance to preferred colleges.

Genres: Education, Nonfiction, Parenting

256 pages, Hardcover

First published September 18, 2006

About the author

I've been a writer most of my life. I've written books, magazine articles, TV shows, movies, plays, advertising copy, and brochures for my kids' school. A few years ago, I decided to walk away from a successful television writing and producing career and follow my dream of writing prose for a living.

Reviews

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Phew. A fast, fairly entertaining read, and a very helpful glimpse under the hood of (at least a sliver of) the private school admissions process. For better and worse, the book treats various "factors" like diversity and connections as commodities to be leveraged. It describes the emotional and mostly self-centered journey of several parents. It's eye-opening to read about these people who profess to be so concerned with their child's needs but in practice seem to focus much more on their own. The epilogue provides a nice sense of perspective on the bigger picture, and the entitlement and listlessness that over-parenting produces. I'm feeling a lot more satisfied with my local (very solid) public school option after reading this. Others might read it and come away feeling primed and ready for the private school admissions battle, but it made me feel more content with the idea of stepping away from the insanity.

[Ashley Hiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book got me like "I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative".

[Ensiform · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author investigates the world of "elite" private schools in a few American cities, with a specific emphasis on New York, which has its own breed of self-importance. He follows four moms who have put their life on hold trying to get their four-year-old accepted into the most exclusive and expensive private kindergartens, interviews dozens of heads of schools, admission directions, and preschool directors, and follows along on some of the school's meet-and-greets. Mostly this book is a window to a world few know much about (or care, probably), and not really a think piece on solutions for America's class and education problems. But while it is heavy on anecdotes and light on research studies, Eisenstock does offer a few thoughts about whether this Kool-Aid drinking and manufactured scarcity is worth it.

This book was written in 2006, so the prices are nearly 20 years out of date, but the eyebrow-raising factor is still strong. I lived on the school side of this world for over a decade, so most of this information is not new or surprising to me, but it was interesting following the harried moms' journeys into pleading, denial, and acceptance. I liked the author's "three Cs" of why parents pursue elite kindergartens: children, college, and country club. That last one (the allure of prestige) really hits home. The most successful people I know went to public school, but putting that fancy elementary school crest on your car sure makes people feel good.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting, quick read of process and lengths it takes to apply to and get into these private "feeder" kindergarten schools.

[Henry Cuningham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting, especially if your kid's getting ready for kindergarten. It might scare you though.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an incredibly interesting book, and it is worth a read whether private schools are on your radar or not. Having attended a Catholic school myself I was interested to see how the admission process plays out at some of the country's most elite private schools. The book does not disappoint.

Eisenstock talks about some of the best schools in the country (often using fake names). He interviews their admission counselors, prospective parents and students, and education consultants. The information he gathers makes for a riveting reading on the state of private education in this country. Everything from pulling strings to get in to the reality of accepting "diversity students" plays out in 256 pages. Additionally he follows 4 or 5 families as they go through the entire process from touring schools to dealing with acceptance and rejection.

The book is somewhat shocking. While I understand that the country's elite kindergartens (what a silly statement...we're talking about 4 year olds) are competitive I had no idea how ridiculous it really is. Eisenstock focuses mostly on New York City schools, but he touches on ones in Atlanta and on the West Coast. There are interviews, tests, "play dates," applications, and so on. It made me wonder who REALLY puts a 4 year old through this process. There are obviously plenty of private schools that don't require such rigorous requirements for admission (this was my experience).

It is an interesting read no matter your education preference. The book is a very quick read, and your attention will be held the entire time. At points I felt myself cheering for families, and I realized how easy it is to get wrapped up in the process.

This book does not tell you any tricks to getting accepted. If that is your goal you would probably need to look elsewhere. It does, however, repeatedly tell you that tuition is near $20,000 FOR KINDERGARTEN. That is almost 2/3 of what my college tuition was per year.

[Kim Palacios · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Kindergarten Wars" is a dually entertaining and fascinating read that gives a "train wreck" view of elite school admissions (i.e. grotesque, but you can't look away). Particularly strong is its attention to the importance of power, status, and other forms of influence over admissions decisions--"The Kindergarten Wars" accurately depicts this issue better than any other book on the topic.

Another strength is its readability: it is a non-fiction expose written in the best possible style: that of a quasi-novel. Eisenstock vacillates effortlessly between his own voice and character voices, showing--not telling--us the score.

I gave this book five stars because it was exactly what I was looking for, but here is my caution to some readers: this book is exactly as its title indicates--a commentary on America's *best* private schools. If you are a parent who is not living in one of the most competitive private school markets (e.g., New York, Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles), and/or you are not dead-set on sending your children to the very best schools within that market, "The Kindergarten Wars" will merely become an entertaining read--not a practical guide. Several other books (including my own) supply advice for approaching a broader range of schools, and for building merit-based applications just in case you can't have a library dedicated in your name or lock down a recommendation from God himself...

[Julia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a really fun (completely crazy) quick little read. I may have enjoyed it more simply due to the fact that I am in the process of hunting for preschools in Chicago, and have been totally shocked by how difficult a process it is. So I guess I found a little peace of mind knowing that this process is actually occuring in large cities across the country, and that many other parents out there are dealing with the same issues (when the local public school is just not an option, do I pay a ridiculous sum to send my child to private school, do I hold my breath that he may get into a lottery-based magnet school, or do we have to move to a different district?) This book reads like a novel (partially because it's so hard to believe that all the drama that occurs is actually over getting children into the right KINDERGARTEN) however it is in fact based on the real events and stories of four mothers (and sometimes fathers) over the year+ long application process.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am shocked that parents spend so much to send their children to private schools! However, it was interesting to see how the parents made their decision. I wish this book had offered more details into how the schools chose their kindergarteners. I have read college admissions books that showed a lot more behind the scenes details.

[Moyna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved This book. The best thing about it, was I didn't feel like I was reading some biased, mean bitter, skeptic adults opinions on the whole thing. It was like reading fiction, but real. I couldn't stop reading it, and when my sister read it she was hooked, too. I learned a lot. VERY informative.

[Lanette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read that makes me so thankful that our quest for admittance into private school was super easy and successful without this much stress. It was stressful enough as it was without all that was described in this book. I was able to relate in some ways to the process described and then blown away in some other respects.

[Agatha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nonfiction book about trying to get your child through the private school kindergarten application process. I thought the best chapter was the final one, called “Tea Cups and Crispies,” which asked, “Does it even matter? Or are you creating fragile tea cups who will crack under the slightest pressure? Or little crispies who crumble at the first sign of trouble?”

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! How amazing is this entire process. A great book for any parent to read (or anyone interested in education in general). I'm so far removed from the world of private schools, but some of the descriptions of the schools really make me wish I could have gone to them when I was a kid.

[ron newman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy to read and moving. Although it's somewhat depressing to be presented with the sad shape of Americas public school system. I can empathize with the desperate parents who's actions appear over the top.

[Dawn]

should have been classified as nonfiction/fiction. the storyline of the moms' trying to get into private school was WAY funny, but it wasn't really an informative book

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Old TT mini-review:

Kindergarten Wars was really something, quite the page-turner. Thank God we don't live in NYC.

[Hilary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was easy to read and presented some fascinating evidence and observations about the nature of private education. I read the whole book in a couple of sittings, and loved it.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has such a limited niche audience, but since I am part of same at the moment, I found it a quick, mildly fascinating read.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

pet peeve/obsession! helicopter parents where only a 20,000 a year kindgergaraten is good enough for their lil johnny to get into harvard.

[Wendy · Rating 2 out of 5]

meh.

[Justine Glynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alan Eisenstock's style is so easy and enjoyable to read, even when dealing with a difficult subject. Great book for any parent to read!

[Barbara Brockhaus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank God we have a fabulous public school. These people are crazy.