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The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers
Say good-bye to diapers and hello to fast, effective potty training, from the parenting author millions trust Potty training your child doesn't have to be a stressful experience. Parenting authority Elizabeth Pantley helps your child get on the road to bathroom independence without frustration, confusion, or tears. Elizabeth Pantley's easy no-cry solution will help you:
192 pages, Paperback
First published August 28, 2006
77 people are currently reading
259 people want to read
About the author
Elizabeth Pantley
63 books448 followersElizabeth Pantley is a bestselling author of fiction and non-fiction books. She writes two well-loved cozy mystery series: The Magical Mystery Book Club, and the Destiny Falls Mystery and Magic series. She has also written the international bestselling No-Cry Solution parenting book series that is available in over twenty languages.
Elizabeth lives in the majestic Pacific Northwest and spends winters in the sunny desert of Arizona. While neither location is home to any paranormal beings (that she knows of) the vastly different yet equally lovely locations are the inspiration for the settings in many of her books.
Sign up for her newsletter to get a free novella at www.elizabethpantleyauthor.com
Elizabeth lives in the majestic Pacific Northwest and spends winters in the sunny desert of Arizona. While neither location is home to any paranormal beings (that she knows of) the vastly different yet equally lovely locations are the inspiration for the settings in many of her books.
Sign up for her newsletter to get a free novella at www.elizabethpantleyauthor.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews
February 10, 2012
The No-Cry Potty Training Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Child Say Good-Bye to Diapers is a gentle guide to help you transition your child from diapers to the toilet. It takes a gentle and relaxed approach to potty training that is based on waiting until your child is ready for potty training. If you are looking for either an elimination communication solution or an intensive 1-3 day potty training solution, this is not the book for you.
There are a total of 9 chapters in this book with a set of quick guide summaries in the beginning. The first chapter sets the philosophical tone of the book. It tries to make you understand your child’s perspective and show you how difficult and complex potty training is. It claims that potty training is rarely achieved in that short amount of time and that it typically takes months.
The second chapter has a fairly comprehensive quiz on readiness that spans several pages. Even if your child is not yet ready for potty training, there is still quite a lot that you can do beforehand to get your child prepared, and this is discussed in Chapter 3.
The meat of the book is in Chapter 5, and that chapter is accurately entitled “A Menu of Potty Training Ideas”. Indeed, the author gives us many ideas about potty training. Too many in my opinion. When there are so many options and every way can be the right way, I am left lost as to what I should do.
The remainder of the book discusses bed wetting and common problems & questions with the last chapter on bathroom safety.
One particularly useful insight presented in this book is that it doesn’t matter when you start potty training, the end time is usually the same. This insight helped me reconcile the elimination communication approach with the standard readiness approach. As an Asian-American, I am well-aware of the elimination communication practices in Asia, and I was previously unable to reconcile the two approaches. Pantley’s explanation hit home for me, and I had a light bulb moment. If the end goal is completely independent elimination of waste in a toilet, then elimination communication does not accomplish that because it requires a lot of assistance.
In general, this book is a thorough and comprehensive guide to potty training. It is full of good information and it’s a worthwhile read. However, it might be best complemented with a more straightforward, instruction type of approach so that you have some guidance on what steps to actually take. I recommend On Becoming Potty Wise, which I hear has the same content as Potty Training 1-2-3. You’ll get step by step guidance from those books, which you can then modify using the menu of ideas from this book.
There are a total of 9 chapters in this book with a set of quick guide summaries in the beginning. The first chapter sets the philosophical tone of the book. It tries to make you understand your child’s perspective and show you how difficult and complex potty training is. It claims that potty training is rarely achieved in that short amount of time and that it typically takes months.
The second chapter has a fairly comprehensive quiz on readiness that spans several pages. Even if your child is not yet ready for potty training, there is still quite a lot that you can do beforehand to get your child prepared, and this is discussed in Chapter 3.
The meat of the book is in Chapter 5, and that chapter is accurately entitled “A Menu of Potty Training Ideas”. Indeed, the author gives us many ideas about potty training. Too many in my opinion. When there are so many options and every way can be the right way, I am left lost as to what I should do.
The remainder of the book discusses bed wetting and common problems & questions with the last chapter on bathroom safety.
One particularly useful insight presented in this book is that it doesn’t matter when you start potty training, the end time is usually the same. This insight helped me reconcile the elimination communication approach with the standard readiness approach. As an Asian-American, I am well-aware of the elimination communication practices in Asia, and I was previously unable to reconcile the two approaches. Pantley’s explanation hit home for me, and I had a light bulb moment. If the end goal is completely independent elimination of waste in a toilet, then elimination communication does not accomplish that because it requires a lot of assistance.
In general, this book is a thorough and comprehensive guide to potty training. It is full of good information and it’s a worthwhile read. However, it might be best complemented with a more straightforward, instruction type of approach so that you have some guidance on what steps to actually take. I recommend On Becoming Potty Wise, which I hear has the same content as Potty Training 1-2-3. You’ll get step by step guidance from those books, which you can then modify using the menu of ideas from this book.
January 7, 2008
This is a decent book. There's not a whole lot of new information here, but I really like some of the questions she poses, such as, "How does your child learn other things?" This made me think about how to match my expectations to my son's history of learning. When it comes to physical things, he takes a while, likes to observe a lot first, be cautious about it, and then he practices, practices, practices, and does it really well. I think this book encourages one to give thought to things like that and really emphasizes that parents need to have patience and need to chill out.
June 12, 2009
I was glad not to have found a strict potty training regiment in this book. I was just looking for basic ways to get started and appreciated this book for the ideas and flexibility it allows.
March 7, 2022
Not the type of book I thought I would be reviewing on Goodreads, but I am counting this toward my yearly reading challenge dang it! We tried following the "Oh Crap Potty Training" method and it didn't go well. My son is more than a little stubborn and it was just too much pressure. This book isn't super detailed, but it has some good pointers for how to ease your child into potty training. It's not the only one I am going to read, but I think there are some concepts in here I will definitely use.
June 13, 2024
I feel more equipped to start potty training my 3-year-old next week. This isn’t a specific plan, but rather a lot of helpful tips and real life parenting stories about potty training. I appreciated the thorough Q&A at the end.
April 6, 2008
Here, finally, is a book that has proper modern ideas about when and how to start helping your little one to learn to use the toilet. Good ideas on how to handle unwanted advice/criticism. Things to do if "training" stalls or you have "setbacks". How to motivate kids who aren't interested. How night time dryness and daytime dryness are separate issues due to the physiology of children. This book should be recommended reading for every person involved in the care and welfare of children. Cannot sing its praises loudly enough. Wish it was heavier so I could throw it at my mother-in-law. Ahem.
February 10, 2008
There really isn't much in this book that is new or unique. I've read most of the ideas in this book elsewhere (other books or websites). The information is sound, though, and it's nice to have in one place.
Typical of Elizabeth Pantley, the tone of the book is knowledgeable without being condescending, and it's laid out nicely. It's a quick, uncomplicated read, and a good introduction to potty training. Not worth owning in my opinion, but a worthwhile check-out from the library.
Typical of Elizabeth Pantley, the tone of the book is knowledgeable without being condescending, and it's laid out nicely. It's a quick, uncomplicated read, and a good introduction to potty training. Not worth owning in my opinion, but a worthwhile check-out from the library.
September 7, 2012
I was sent this book by the author and I have to say as ever the approach is gentle and has provided me with confidence to begin toilet training my two year old son. The advice is common sense and gentle. I've passed it on to my friend with an 18 month old. It has lots of different ideas all in one book!
March 26, 2009
Well formatted. Easy to read and get finer points
Along the same lines as mt thinking.
Take away message:
Two magic indicator for toilet training success:
~teachers positive and supportive attitude
~teachers kind and understanding patience
Along the same lines as mt thinking.
Take away message:
Two magic indicator for toilet training success:
~teachers positive and supportive attitude
~teachers kind and understanding patience
January 13, 2017
Answered a lot of the questions I had (though not all, hence the 4 stars instead of 5), and left me feeling quite prepared for the undertaking.
March 20, 2025
“The No-Cry Potty Training Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley offers a gentle, child-centered approach to potty training. It’s designed for parents who want to avoid stress, pressure, or tears during the process. Here are the main takeaways from the book:
1. Child-Led Potty Training
• Pantley advocates for a gentle, gradual process that follows the child’s readiness and comfort level.
• Unlike rigid timelines, her method is flexible and adaptable to each child’s unique development.
2. Recognizing Readiness
• Instead of focusing solely on age, look for readiness signs like:
• Awareness of wet diapers
• Interest in using the toilet
• Ability to follow simple instructions
• Readiness varies, and Pantley encourages starting when your child shows consistent signs.
3. Creating a Positive Environment
• Make the potty fun and accessible by choosing a comfortable potty chair or toilet seat.
• Incorporate books, toys, or songs to make the experience enjoyable.
• Offer praise, encouragement, and affirmations to build confidence.
4. No Punishment or Pressure
• Accidents are viewed as part of the learning process.
• Pantley emphasizes responding calmly and reassuringly.
• Avoid shaming or punishment, which can create anxiety around potty use.
5. Establish a Routine
• Gently guide the child toward using the potty at key times (e.g., after meals, before bed).
• Modeling behavior by allowing them to observe family members can also be effective.
6. Nighttime Training
• Nighttime dryness may take longer to achieve.
• Pantley suggests using waterproof mattress covers and encouraging bathroom use before bed.
• Celebrate dry nights without stressing about occasional accidents.
7. Encouragement Over Rewards
• While rewards like stickers or treats can be used if desired, Pantley recommends focusing on natural praise and positive reinforcement.
• Celebrate progress with hugs, claps, or verbal affirmations.
8. Parental Patience and Flexibility
• Regression and accidents are normal, especially during transitions or stressful periods.
• Pantley encourages parents to remain flexible, supportive, and patient.
Overall, “The No-Cry Potty Training Solution” is ideal for parents looking for a compassionate, low-pressure approach that nurtures their child’s self-confidence and independence.
1. Child-Led Potty Training
• Pantley advocates for a gentle, gradual process that follows the child’s readiness and comfort level.
• Unlike rigid timelines, her method is flexible and adaptable to each child’s unique development.
2. Recognizing Readiness
• Instead of focusing solely on age, look for readiness signs like:
• Awareness of wet diapers
• Interest in using the toilet
• Ability to follow simple instructions
• Readiness varies, and Pantley encourages starting when your child shows consistent signs.
3. Creating a Positive Environment
• Make the potty fun and accessible by choosing a comfortable potty chair or toilet seat.
• Incorporate books, toys, or songs to make the experience enjoyable.
• Offer praise, encouragement, and affirmations to build confidence.
4. No Punishment or Pressure
• Accidents are viewed as part of the learning process.
• Pantley emphasizes responding calmly and reassuringly.
• Avoid shaming or punishment, which can create anxiety around potty use.
5. Establish a Routine
• Gently guide the child toward using the potty at key times (e.g., after meals, before bed).
• Modeling behavior by allowing them to observe family members can also be effective.
6. Nighttime Training
• Nighttime dryness may take longer to achieve.
• Pantley suggests using waterproof mattress covers and encouraging bathroom use before bed.
• Celebrate dry nights without stressing about occasional accidents.
7. Encouragement Over Rewards
• While rewards like stickers or treats can be used if desired, Pantley recommends focusing on natural praise and positive reinforcement.
• Celebrate progress with hugs, claps, or verbal affirmations.
8. Parental Patience and Flexibility
• Regression and accidents are normal, especially during transitions or stressful periods.
• Pantley encourages parents to remain flexible, supportive, and patient.
Overall, “The No-Cry Potty Training Solution” is ideal for parents looking for a compassionate, low-pressure approach that nurtures their child’s self-confidence and independence.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 27, 2018
I am writing this review before actually attempting active potty training, but I already know that it will be my reference guide when we do go for the action phase. I felt that it resonated with me because it is not a checklist of specific “steps” like a lot of other guides. If you are looking for very specific instructions, this may not be your “go to” for potty training. I do not like a specific methods approach to thing because if step 1 doesn’t go to plan, I find myself panicking as to what to do next.
For me, I like to think of child rearing as an art, not a science, so that is why this guide was appealing. The main take home points were: no other milestone or developmental stage is expected to take place in a matter of days for your child, and potty training should be no exception, but there are lots of pre-potty training activities and techniques that you can get started on before deciding what you want to do for the “active phase.” Also, that there are many approaches, and choosing a path should be based on your own child’s learning and development style; and stressed that your attitude and patience will determine how pleasant of an experience it is, NOT your child! I loved all the pre-potty training activities and felt a lot less stressed when it described some pros and cons of different approaches. It describes the “potty training process” as more of a “potty learning” or “toilet teaching” instead of a “training.” It does not encourage giving the decision to potty train 100% to the child or 100% to the parents... it meets somewhere in the middle.
I also liked the readiness quiz, it was a wholistic group of questions that included a lot of facets of “readiness” that I didn’t immediately connect... even though the most obvious signs are crucial... things like initiating independence in other tasks (like putting on own shoes) can foster success in potty training. We will see how it actually pans out later and I’ll update this review when the process is complete!
For me, I like to think of child rearing as an art, not a science, so that is why this guide was appealing. The main take home points were: no other milestone or developmental stage is expected to take place in a matter of days for your child, and potty training should be no exception, but there are lots of pre-potty training activities and techniques that you can get started on before deciding what you want to do for the “active phase.” Also, that there are many approaches, and choosing a path should be based on your own child’s learning and development style; and stressed that your attitude and patience will determine how pleasant of an experience it is, NOT your child! I loved all the pre-potty training activities and felt a lot less stressed when it described some pros and cons of different approaches. It describes the “potty training process” as more of a “potty learning” or “toilet teaching” instead of a “training.” It does not encourage giving the decision to potty train 100% to the child or 100% to the parents... it meets somewhere in the middle.
I also liked the readiness quiz, it was a wholistic group of questions that included a lot of facets of “readiness” that I didn’t immediately connect... even though the most obvious signs are crucial... things like initiating independence in other tasks (like putting on own shoes) can foster success in potty training. We will see how it actually pans out later and I’ll update this review when the process is complete!
February 27, 2019
I LOVE these "no-cry" books by Pantley! Her whole point to these books is that there is never a "one size fits all" solution. Every family, child, & situation is different so they all need to be approached differently. It's all about the growth mindset. This book inspired me to do all my toilet training backwards from what I was told to do with all my other children, resulting in successes & no stress this time around! I didn't read the book cover to cover, but have picked through it as needs arose. And while my kid is still learning the ropes, we're both happy about it! And that's HUGE considering what me & my other children experienced during potty training. I swore I'd never potty train another child, & this book has helped me do just that - I introduce concepts like dressing, washing hands, wiping, etc... & my kid puts the concepts together, essentially training himself! I love it!
dnf
September 10, 2021I fundamentally had a lot of problems with this book. Its good it works for some people but this gradual way of potty training goes against every thing I am as a parent and individual. As soon as I heard it would take 3-12 months to potty train with this method, I could not continue reading. My opinion for me and my child is that this is a one and done deal we are doing over a weekend - once we potty train, we are done with diapers and don’t even mess with pull ups.
I found it ironic there is an Asian baby on the cover - I don’t know any Asian that would take potty training as lackadaisically as this book does.
I found it ironic there is an Asian baby on the cover - I don’t know any Asian that would take potty training as lackadaisically as this book does.
May 2, 2022
This book was helpful in reminding me that this will happen eventually, and I appreciated Pantley’s ability to put potty training in the context of every other skill toddlers learn. This isn’t a race, and even if there’s a deadline to meet, adding stress won’t help.
I initially picked it up for some solid pointers about how to introduce and teach different concepts of toilet training, but found it didn’t really address that for the areas I need guidance. Overall, I found this book reassuring about potty training in the big picture.
I initially picked it up for some solid pointers about how to introduce and teach different concepts of toilet training, but found it didn’t really address that for the areas I need guidance. Overall, I found this book reassuring about potty training in the big picture.
September 12, 2017
It was a little more relaxed without losing the sense of urgency when it comes to potty training. I never felt like I was be berated for any previous potty training attempts. I didn't necessarily agree with everything in the book but on the whole it's the best potty training book I've come across so far.
October 13, 2019
I'm a nanny so I found a lot of the information pretty basic, but I loved the easy-to-read and lighthearted style of the book. A quick read and easy to go back and review specific sections. I appreciated the "common training problems" section and the Q&A near the end. Perfect for the first-time parent or a parent/caregiver who needs a review of the basics.
December 3, 2022
The content was a bit redundant repetitive, but we definitely took away some helpful tips. These included simple ideas like encouraging our little guy to practice the pulling up and down of his pants on his own and telling him when it’s time to go potty again instead of asking is he has to go. We are utilizing these now.
June 15, 2023
Elizabeth Pantley, you have changed my life in so many ways, thank you! You transformed our night time routine with just the slightest and simplest things. And you have given me hope for night time potty training. Your writing is knowledgeable and straightforward yet easy and comforting to read.
Sending a virtual hug from a mom of and extremely smart and incredible four year old.
Sending a virtual hug from a mom of and extremely smart and incredible four year old.
November 24, 2020
Flexible potty strategies
It's refreshing to have a potty learning book that doesn't lay out rigid guidelines. Instead, it takes into account the uniqueness of each child and family. Helpful & motivating.
It's refreshing to have a potty learning book that doesn't lay out rigid guidelines. Instead, it takes into account the uniqueness of each child and family. Helpful & motivating.
March 30, 2021
This book was a great accompaniment to other potty training books. It wouldn't work well as a stand alone book but it was perfect for assisting with the calming approach we needed to help my daughter's potty training anxiety.
February 24, 2023
Haven’t actually started yet , but this book felt so much less judgmental than the Oh Crap book that was basically just tells you that you’re an awful parent if you didn’t train your kid by 30 months 😂.
December 29, 2017
great advises overall, i'll try her method with my toddler, i disagree on suggesting the rewards for the kid, not the right method at least in my parenting method
May 18, 2018
A good resource if you’re just starting out.
January 29, 2019
This book helped me potty train my third! I wish I had had it with my first two! It was a full of no brainer facts and tips. Highly recommend! It was also a very quick read.
February 19, 2020
Quick guide including tips for toddler toilet training.
August 26, 2022
I was such a hard ass No Crap follower for my first I wanted a more laid back approach with my second. I think this is a better plan for us right now, though I dread how much longer it will take.
January 16, 2023
This didn’t offer much beyond what you own intuition would probably suggest. It may be a better book for troubleshooting when toilet training is in full swing.
March 10, 2023
A good general overview of potty training. Nothing groundbreaking. It answers common questions and helps you to evaluate the right time and approach for your family.
October 21, 2024
This is a useful resource.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews