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The Secret Life of France
In this candid and funny account of her escape from English boys and her love affair with a Frenchman, Lucy Wadham describes the mutual bafflement and fascination that characterised both their subsequent marriage and her unfolding relationship with France. Using her own personal experiences over 25 years, Lucy offers a rare, insider's view of a nation that may be deeply incompatible with ours but is also, she thinks, chronically misunderstood. In "The Secret Life of France", Lucy leads us on a journey through the French moral maze, and examines French attitudes to a range of subjects from marriage and adultery to work and race relations. By taking apart the cliches she helps us gain a better understanding of this nearest and most alien of neighbours, and suggests that on some matters we have much to learn from them.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
56 people are currently reading
453 people want to read
About the author
Lucy Wadham
9 books11 followersLucy Wadham is a British writer of crime and thriller novels, but her most widely reviewed work is her autobiographical account of her life in France.
Wadham was born in London in 1964 and educated at Magdalen College, Oxford. She has worked as a news assistant at the BBC Paris bureau since 1989. She is currently a freelance journalist and regularly contributes to The Independent, The Spectator, and The New Statesman. She lives in France with her four children.
Her first novel, 'Lost' (2000), a thriller set on Corsica was shortlisted for the Macallan Gold Dagger Award. The second novel, 'Castro's Dream' (2003), about the Basque terrorist movement, ETA is set in the Basque Country. Her latest book, 'The Secret Life of France,' is an autobiographical account of her life in France. She writes a regular blog on the same theme under the same name
Wadham was born in London in 1964 and educated at Magdalen College, Oxford. She has worked as a news assistant at the BBC Paris bureau since 1989. She is currently a freelance journalist and regularly contributes to The Independent, The Spectator, and The New Statesman. She lives in France with her four children.
Her first novel, 'Lost' (2000), a thriller set on Corsica was shortlisted for the Macallan Gold Dagger Award. The second novel, 'Castro's Dream' (2003), about the Basque terrorist movement, ETA is set in the Basque Country. Her latest book, 'The Secret Life of France,' is an autobiographical account of her life in France. She writes a regular blog on the same theme under the same name
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 76 reviews
September 6, 2017
Very enjoyable for what it is, namely, a bunch of anecdotes about the Parisian bourgeoisie intended to provide a tongue-in-cherk ethnography of the French. If you know Paris and Parisians, it will give you plenty of laughs of recognition, but it hardly stands as a work of sociology. Some insights and lots of nice tidbits of cultural information, told in a bemused and amusing tone.
March 11, 2018
I want to say the author comes off as smug, but clueless might be a better word. Told through the perspective of an Oxford intellectual, living among similar Parisians for decades. Think of a similar European living in Manhattan, claiming to "explain" America. Not particularly recommended - really 2.5 stars.
June 22, 2009
How refreshing it is to read an account of France and the French that hasn't resorted to the usual "hilarious" micky-taking of every stereotype you can think of.
I am a huge Francophile and am about to embark on my 8th trip in the next few months so I was looking forward to reading this. The book is written by a Brit who has lived in France for over 20 years, was married to a French man and has two children who have always considered themselves French rather than dual-nationality, so she's pretty well placed to make fair and frank comments about both the French and the Brits and all our differences without resorting to cliches and poking fun.
Wadham, if telling about a certain aspect of French behaviour, always tries to back it up with historical facts of why that may be (the revolution, catholicism, a national love of and belief in Freud for example) which did cause a few "aha" moments. What I also liked was the way she explains our British behaviour in comparison and the reasons why the French see us the way they do: we dress badly and have a culture of ladettes and drunkeness but they have a great affection for our eccentricity and sense of humour.
There were some eye-openers too, particularly when it comes to extra-marital relations and racism. I also now know why those "rude" Parisian waiters behave the way they do too. While I come from a nation of manners, politeness and overusing the words please and thankyou in resturants, for the French the role of waitor is held in icredibly high esteem and expressing gratitude is seen as us looking down on their profession. Now I know to look down, not up and say simply "onion soup and red wine". Simple!
My only slight grumble about this book is that it sometimes appeared as though it was hopping back and forth between times or themes. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it a refreshing and convincing portrayal of one of our closest neighbours.
I am a huge Francophile and am about to embark on my 8th trip in the next few months so I was looking forward to reading this. The book is written by a Brit who has lived in France for over 20 years, was married to a French man and has two children who have always considered themselves French rather than dual-nationality, so she's pretty well placed to make fair and frank comments about both the French and the Brits and all our differences without resorting to cliches and poking fun.
Wadham, if telling about a certain aspect of French behaviour, always tries to back it up with historical facts of why that may be (the revolution, catholicism, a national love of and belief in Freud for example) which did cause a few "aha" moments. What I also liked was the way she explains our British behaviour in comparison and the reasons why the French see us the way they do: we dress badly and have a culture of ladettes and drunkeness but they have a great affection for our eccentricity and sense of humour.
There were some eye-openers too, particularly when it comes to extra-marital relations and racism. I also now know why those "rude" Parisian waiters behave the way they do too. While I come from a nation of manners, politeness and overusing the words please and thankyou in resturants, for the French the role of waitor is held in icredibly high esteem and expressing gratitude is seen as us looking down on their profession. Now I know to look down, not up and say simply "onion soup and red wine". Simple!
My only slight grumble about this book is that it sometimes appeared as though it was hopping back and forth between times or themes. Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it a refreshing and convincing portrayal of one of our closest neighbours.
January 29, 2018
As a confirmed Francophile, I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK, from which I learned so much more about the cultural mores of France.
Wadham herself had been married to a Frenchman for close to 20 years, with whom she had 4 children (all of them educated in the French educational system), and, though divorced, continues to live and work in France. While shedding insight into French attitudes toward religion, politics, education, race, relationships, history (France continues to be very conflicted about its wartime behavior under the German Occupation), the French language, the law, and the nation itself, she intersperses the book with some of her own experiences with her French family and friends, which also gives the book the feel of a diary and an anthropological case study. Further, Wadham's contrasts of French attitudes with comparable Anglo Saxon cultural norms and practices (as exemplified by Britain and America) I found both startling and intriguing.
(I have twice visited Paris, and though my French is very far from fluent, I had not met with any outward shows of derision or contempt from any Parisians I encountered during my daily pereginations in the city.)
For the reader of this review, I'd like to cite 2 passages from the book, which may give you food for thought ---
"Television is [for the British] ... a medium naturally given to the worship of reality. In line with our love of reality and our taste for the comic over the tragic, the British are excellent watchers and makers of television. The French, on the other hand, with their love of grand ideas and their contempt for reality, make execrable television. Hours of French airtime are devoted to the spectacle of people (anybody will do) sitting around discussing ideas. There is none of the British mistrust of 'talking heads'. Talking heads are seen as a good thing in France, and the louder they talk the better."
"It is strange to me to watch my own children struggling, for the first time, with the very facets of their own culture that I found so infuriating when I first arrived twenty-three years ago. While they were growing up, I was blind to my own influence upon them. They seemed to me so wonderfully French that I would never have guessed that their Englishness would one day come and bite me on the bottom. Now that they're getting ready to leave for England, I find myself buried so deeply in this culture that I doubt I can ever escape it. France has swallowed me up, but not my children.
"My relationship with France began with my relationship with Laurent. When the marriage ended, I assumed that my link to France would lessen in intensity. I was no longer speaking French all hours of the day, dreaming in French, arguing in French, loving in French. I thought I was no longer bound to this place. My children were grown up, so I could now choose: England or France. And then I discovered that I didn't want to leave. I know France now and in knowing her, I love her. Like the long-suffering spouse who realises, after all those years, that in spite of everything, there is no one in the world she would rather be with. I adore and despise this country in equal measure."
Wadham herself had been married to a Frenchman for close to 20 years, with whom she had 4 children (all of them educated in the French educational system), and, though divorced, continues to live and work in France. While shedding insight into French attitudes toward religion, politics, education, race, relationships, history (France continues to be very conflicted about its wartime behavior under the German Occupation), the French language, the law, and the nation itself, she intersperses the book with some of her own experiences with her French family and friends, which also gives the book the feel of a diary and an anthropological case study. Further, Wadham's contrasts of French attitudes with comparable Anglo Saxon cultural norms and practices (as exemplified by Britain and America) I found both startling and intriguing.
(I have twice visited Paris, and though my French is very far from fluent, I had not met with any outward shows of derision or contempt from any Parisians I encountered during my daily pereginations in the city.)
For the reader of this review, I'd like to cite 2 passages from the book, which may give you food for thought ---
"Television is [for the British] ... a medium naturally given to the worship of reality. In line with our love of reality and our taste for the comic over the tragic, the British are excellent watchers and makers of television. The French, on the other hand, with their love of grand ideas and their contempt for reality, make execrable television. Hours of French airtime are devoted to the spectacle of people (anybody will do) sitting around discussing ideas. There is none of the British mistrust of 'talking heads'. Talking heads are seen as a good thing in France, and the louder they talk the better."
"It is strange to me to watch my own children struggling, for the first time, with the very facets of their own culture that I found so infuriating when I first arrived twenty-three years ago. While they were growing up, I was blind to my own influence upon them. They seemed to me so wonderfully French that I would never have guessed that their Englishness would one day come and bite me on the bottom. Now that they're getting ready to leave for England, I find myself buried so deeply in this culture that I doubt I can ever escape it. France has swallowed me up, but not my children.
"My relationship with France began with my relationship with Laurent. When the marriage ended, I assumed that my link to France would lessen in intensity. I was no longer speaking French all hours of the day, dreaming in French, arguing in French, loving in French. I thought I was no longer bound to this place. My children were grown up, so I could now choose: England or France. And then I discovered that I didn't want to leave. I know France now and in knowing her, I love her. Like the long-suffering spouse who realises, after all those years, that in spite of everything, there is no one in the world she would rather be with. I adore and despise this country in equal measure."
March 4, 2011
I've had this book lying around for ages and finally picked it up thinking it would be another book on how strange the French are but how lovely Provence is. Instead I found this a very erudite book on why the French are how they are and how this compares with les rosbifs; not just more obvious things like their views on adultery and their media's lack of interest in the sex-life of politicians (though Sarkozy is changing this), but deeper, more philosophical aspects as well. For example, the French think of us as hypocritical. This is because they see negatively words like 'equivocal' and 'ambivalent'; in France you need to sign up to an idea or an ideal totally rather than have mixed, complex views like we have here. Then there's the strange way that they can live with various aspects of a police state alongside their ability to take to the streets (and win) on almost any aspect of life. The revolution plays a big part, but so too do more distant factors. For me, I was delighted to read the explanation for why in l'Aveyron we kissed three times, while across the border in Tarn they kissed only twice and in Paris (we were told) it's four times now. I learnt that it was areas that were formerly Catholic who kissed two or four times, while those that were protestant kissed three. I wish I'd read all this 11 years ago when we first moved to France. It really explains those deep differences very well indeed.
August 9, 2009
I enjoyed this book, although as many other reviewers have said, it's more "The Secret Life of Paris" (and the Parisian haute bourgeoisie at that) than of France -- there were numerous places where I just didn't recognise my friends and neighbours, notably the dinner parties where people pop discreetly into the next room for group sex between courses, and the assumption that everyone has a jardin secret, aka a lover.
The book is a sometimes uneasy mixture of the personal and the political, but she has some thought-provoking insights and explanations of French behaviour, and this is far more satisfying to read than Peter Mayle and his tiresome, substandard followers. I won't bother to write more here, because the Independent's review has summed it up so perfectly, better than I could have done. Recommended for anyone open-minded enough not to subscribe to the rose-tinted glasses view of France, or its opposite.
The book is a sometimes uneasy mixture of the personal and the political, but she has some thought-provoking insights and explanations of French behaviour, and this is far more satisfying to read than Peter Mayle and his tiresome, substandard followers. I won't bother to write more here, because the Independent's review has summed it up so perfectly, better than I could have done. Recommended for anyone open-minded enough not to subscribe to the rose-tinted glasses view of France, or its opposite.
July 29, 2023
I'm not sure I quite expected this to be as autobiographical as it was, going through the author's life after moving from France. This meant we started with courtship and sex and then moved onto more public cultural differences. It was still an interesting read though, albeit one that made me realise how incompatible my personality is with French culture!
January 6, 2019
The title should really be "A Very Specific and Narrow-Minded View of France". I was severely disappointed in this book. Wadham writes from the perspective of the Parisian bourgeoisie in a particular neighborhood - not at all representative of France as a whole. Every other subject seems to come back to sex, bordering on an obsession. When, halfway through the book, she delves into foreign policy and politics, it's almost impossible to take her seriously given how biased the first part of the book is. Wadham also claims to be integrated into France, but there was such a strong "me versus them" mentality throughout the entire piece, I have trouble believing that.
I don't recommend this book. It's biased, narrow-minded, and sex-obsessed. Wadham is stuck in her "Anglo-Saxon" views and honestly, doesn't even seem to like the French.
I don't recommend this book. It's biased, narrow-minded, and sex-obsessed. Wadham is stuck in her "Anglo-Saxon" views and honestly, doesn't even seem to like the French.
May 8, 2010
I'm a sucker for books which attempt to explain a culture from an insider/outsider point-of-view. In this informational memoir, Wadham (an English woman) describes what it has been like to live most of her adult life in France. She attempts to explain some cultural differences between England and France by using a combination of personal and journalistic experience. As the book develops, there is less of the author's personal life and more (seemingly objective) analysis of France. I liked it better when it was infused with her own experience. Very strong start -- I really enjoyed the first chapters -- but then it kind of bogged down.
Interestingly, her discussion of France's political system (with its protective state benefits and privileges) has helped me understand the economic/emotional meltdown happening in Greece right now.
I bought this book at the famous Shakespeare's Bookstore in Paris, and started it on the Eurostar trip home to London.
Interestingly, her discussion of France's political system (with its protective state benefits and privileges) has helped me understand the economic/emotional meltdown happening in Greece right now.
I bought this book at the famous Shakespeare's Bookstore in Paris, and started it on the Eurostar trip home to London.
May 30, 2015
This book explores the historical foundations of feminist ideology in Britain and France and then tries to make sense of research into this history in reference to the authors own relationships in France, as a British citizen married to a French man. Lots of references to guilt derived from Protestant socialization in Britain, being absent in social interactions in Paris.
"Having been bought been bought up in post-feminist Britain, it took me almost a decade to adjust to the experience of being a woman in France"
This analysis is also applied to the political culture in France. I was left with a sense upon reading this book of 'unfinished business' of the authors reconciliation of this culture and impact on her personal life. It seemed to me that the author escaped the patriachal model of her relationship only to replace it with another, and a critical tone of the submission of women turned into a romantic overture and defence of French social culture towards the end?
"Having been bought been bought up in post-feminist Britain, it took me almost a decade to adjust to the experience of being a woman in France"
This analysis is also applied to the political culture in France. I was left with a sense upon reading this book of 'unfinished business' of the authors reconciliation of this culture and impact on her personal life. It seemed to me that the author escaped the patriachal model of her relationship only to replace it with another, and a critical tone of the submission of women turned into a romantic overture and defence of French social culture towards the end?
June 7, 2015
On the surface, this seems an interesting proposition but once you sink your teeth in, you realise it's everything you thought it wasn't.
The level of literary skill is roughly around the Heat magazine/ tabloid newspaper supplement level and the author backs up her entire analysis of her experiences in France with almost random anecdotes and hear say rather than anything remotely credible.
On top of this, the model she uses for comparison with the French way of life is 'Anglo-Saxon' or 'Protestant', sometimes both at the same time. Seriously, she uses each of those words at least half a dozen times per chapter. That is the depth of her skills at comparisons. Forget all the non-white, non-Protestant people who make up the population of Britain and combine that with the fact she makes wide-sweeping mass generalisations of the French as if an entire nation is one homogeneous entity which moves like one giant herd with the same motivations and same impulses...
Well, as you can tell, this book is utter guff.
It's akin to a French person marrying an Englishman who decides to write about her experiences of living in England based solely on the highly limited personal interactions (relatively) that she has with English people and bases her entire anthropological analysis of a culture's habits & moral standards by what she reads in Heat, The Sun and the Daily Mail.
Merde.
The level of literary skill is roughly around the Heat magazine/ tabloid newspaper supplement level and the author backs up her entire analysis of her experiences in France with almost random anecdotes and hear say rather than anything remotely credible.
On top of this, the model she uses for comparison with the French way of life is 'Anglo-Saxon' or 'Protestant', sometimes both at the same time. Seriously, she uses each of those words at least half a dozen times per chapter. That is the depth of her skills at comparisons. Forget all the non-white, non-Protestant people who make up the population of Britain and combine that with the fact she makes wide-sweeping mass generalisations of the French as if an entire nation is one homogeneous entity which moves like one giant herd with the same motivations and same impulses...
Well, as you can tell, this book is utter guff.
It's akin to a French person marrying an Englishman who decides to write about her experiences of living in England based solely on the highly limited personal interactions (relatively) that she has with English people and bases her entire anthropological analysis of a culture's habits & moral standards by what she reads in Heat, The Sun and the Daily Mail.
Merde.
October 31, 2016
I read The Secret Life of France pretty soon after the UK voted to leave the European Union. I didn't want us to leave but this book showed me, often with great wit, what the differences between the French and the British are and how, in the end, it's perfectly possible for us to understand each other and get on with each other - especially if we take the time to learn a bit about each other.
Obviously, we have to find a proper tolerance for each other's quirks, belief-systems, habits and ways of government (the citizens of all countries need to do that if there's to be any sort of understanding and collaboration between us all), but tolerance and understanding come with knowledge (not without it) and because I prefer collaboration to isolation I urge anyone who thinks isolation is a better bet to read this and come to a better understanding of the French and their ways of life and how they differ from ours.
The Secret Life of France was written before the Brexit vote and it isn't about the vote or its possible effects, at all, but by implication Lucy Wadham's book shows that the only way to co-exist and collaborate is first to understand, even if we don't particularly like what we discover.
Obviously, we have to find a proper tolerance for each other's quirks, belief-systems, habits and ways of government (the citizens of all countries need to do that if there's to be any sort of understanding and collaboration between us all), but tolerance and understanding come with knowledge (not without it) and because I prefer collaboration to isolation I urge anyone who thinks isolation is a better bet to read this and come to a better understanding of the French and their ways of life and how they differ from ours.
The Secret Life of France was written before the Brexit vote and it isn't about the vote or its possible effects, at all, but by implication Lucy Wadham's book shows that the only way to co-exist and collaborate is first to understand, even if we don't particularly like what we discover.
November 1, 2016
I don't know. This book felt confused. Started with some lighthearted exploration of attitudes towards sex in French society (vs "Anglo-Saxon", as she calls Brits/USians) and then veers into discussion of their legacy of colonialism and inability to admit their problems with banlieues, with interviews with people high up in their justice system and secret service. I don't know what she was going for here, but it felt disjointed. I would have loved a deeper exploration of how French politics got the way it is, but this wasn't it. The stuff about collaboration in WWII in particular deserves more than a chapter or so. It just felt like an overly-long personal essay with speculation and political sentiments that I would leave out (if it were me).
I went in expecting a kind of silly holiday read with a few interesting tidbits about French culture, but that's definitely not what I got. I had fun in parts, but overall I'm not going to recommend this. I'm pretty sure there will be better observational books and serious historical/sociological texts rather than this one that doesn't do either particularly well.
I went in expecting a kind of silly holiday read with a few interesting tidbits about French culture, but that's definitely not what I got. I had fun in parts, but overall I'm not going to recommend this. I'm pretty sure there will be better observational books and serious historical/sociological texts rather than this one that doesn't do either particularly well.
March 10, 2011
As you will see from my list, beginning in 2002 I have read a rather large volume of books about France and from these personal accounts of others who have moved to or spent time in Frnace, I have picked up tidbits of what it is like to live there but none have been as insightful as The Secret Life of France. Because of Lucy's position with the BBC which allowed her opportunities to interview French nationals in political positions, she is able to share detailed information regarding the attitudes and feelings of the French about their own country, England, America and Africa. Lucy's story helps explain many of the reasons why France and the French are so unique. I very highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever had any interest in France and the French, especially for those who have considered moving there as you will be well prepared for the indifferences. There are no holds barred, nothing held back. My only dissappointment is that she did not share details regarding the reason for her divorce, especially since she talks about relationships throughout the book.
November 13, 2012
Having struggled with doing business in France and had occasionally bonkers experiences with the French, I spotted this in an airport bookshop and picked it up with relish.
I had been confused about the French, who I adore, for some time. Of course I love the language, which I speak well enough and you have to adore the country itself - but if like me you have ever worked with them, been infuriated by some arcane rule that was stopping you doing something in France, or wondered how an entire World Cup football team can have a hissy fit, go on strike and collapse - then this is a must-read.
This is not pretending to be great literature, but if you're a tortured Francophile, it is an hilarious and riveting read. If you want to work with, employ, or have a relationship with anyone French, it is an essential core textbook.
I thought I was the only one who was driven to distraction by our Gallic neighbors and wondered how on earth their country's society actually works and survives, then I read this book and felt overjoyed that I am not alone.
I had been confused about the French, who I adore, for some time. Of course I love the language, which I speak well enough and you have to adore the country itself - but if like me you have ever worked with them, been infuriated by some arcane rule that was stopping you doing something in France, or wondered how an entire World Cup football team can have a hissy fit, go on strike and collapse - then this is a must-read.
This is not pretending to be great literature, but if you're a tortured Francophile, it is an hilarious and riveting read. If you want to work with, employ, or have a relationship with anyone French, it is an essential core textbook.
I thought I was the only one who was driven to distraction by our Gallic neighbors and wondered how on earth their country's society actually works and survives, then I read this book and felt overjoyed that I am not alone.
September 26, 2017
Wadham really goes deep into the ins and outs of the French and France, critiquing their republican attitudes and the further implications of said attitudes, such as ties with socialism, lack of condemnation of rioting, and a widespread intolerance of religion. She analyses their zero-tolerance attitude towards terrorism, police malpractice, the view on Capitalism (and therefore the US) as an enemy and the bourgeoisie and their parisien paradises and jardins sécrets. A narrative of her life entwined with her personal and professional experiences runs alongside the analysis and provides a very good read. Slightly hard at times, but otherwise a very interesting view on our neighbour. Will definitely keep this on my shelf in case it comes in handy writing an essay on anything regarding France.
January 24, 2016
Lucy Wadham provides a well-written, entertaining and insightful profile of her adopted nation. Many of her observations of French culture echoed my own underdeveloped inklings and it was satisfying to read that somebody had confidently and articulately taken those thoughts to their natural though often contradictory ends. Her approach is balanced and she is fair and often humorous in her weighing of differences between French and English (and sometimes American and other) cultures. I especially enjoyed her impressive vocabulary (I started a word bank) and the sense she gave that she was rolling her eyes throughout the entirety of the book. I also enjoyed the way in which she shared anecdotes of her personal life which were broadened to reflect a facet of French culture, politics of history.
October 1, 2012
'I was nineteen the first time Laurent Lemoine asked me marry him'. The first sentence of the book had me filled with dread that this was going to be yet another stereotypical but amusing lighthearted story about English girl meeting French boy and so forth. However, yes it is the story of English girl meeting French boy, but it is so much more than that. At last a book which goes beyond why French women are not fat and why French children eat salad, ... I thought it was an astute, insightful work about France and the French, covering everything from philandering to politics. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
September 9, 2009
I very much enjoyed this book, which offers keen insight on a nation that, while reams and reams have been written about, still remains a mystery. At the same time, as a journalist, I wanted and needed more sourcing beyond, "Well, my other well-heeled bourgeois friends all have affairs and that's just what the French do." Still, other claims were well researched and clearly backed up, so I can't complain overmuch. And I read it whilst in France, so everywhere I looked, I saw mean waiters and the pernicious effects of a country built on more idealism than bedrock.
August 10, 2009
Engaging and idiosyncratic view of modern France and, in particular, women's place within it. Obviously a subjective take on the country and its history -- sure to contain much that some Francophiles will find arguable or infuriating -- but entertaining and lucid. As an ex-pat living in Britain (and only an infrequent visitor to France), I most enjoyed the cross-cultural comparisons between the UK and France.
Want to read
August 15, 2010There's an excellent review of this book by the UK Independent which quotes the book saying things I completely identify with like:
She memorably describes Parisian zebra crossings for instance as being "like Bosnia's safe zones: places where, if you die, you may simply die with the knowledge that your killer was in the wrong".
It has to be good. :)
She memorably describes Parisian zebra crossings for instance as being "like Bosnia's safe zones: places where, if you die, you may simply die with the knowledge that your killer was in the wrong".
It has to be good. :)
July 18, 2019
This book was given to me by a dear friend living in Brussels. At the time I didn't have any desire to read the book so it sat on my shelf for 3 years. After reading it I want to call and apologize to her though she is none the wiser. I think she knew this book would be a great significance to anyone that spends as much time as I do in France without being french. "The Secret Life of France" is truly one "ah-ha moment" after another.
January 12, 2014
The Secret Life of France fell down in two places for me:
- The stream of consciousness style that meant the chapters were somewhat arbitrary
- The fact that the author was really examining PARISIAN, not FRENCH attitudes, something she doesn't acknowledge until the epilogue. Mass generalisations are made throughout that any reader who didn't know better would assume applied to the whole of France, when this is certainly not the case
- The stream of consciousness style that meant the chapters were somewhat arbitrary
- The fact that the author was really examining PARISIAN, not FRENCH attitudes, something she doesn't acknowledge until the epilogue. Mass generalisations are made throughout that any reader who didn't know better would assume applied to the whole of France, when this is certainly not the case
April 8, 2017
I've leafed through a lot of books written by English people about their life in France (a whole literary genre it seems), and as a Frenchman I can tell you this author gets a lot of things right that others get wrong or don't even talk about. She also gets a few things wrong, and her French experience seems to take place solely among the bourgeoisie : there's nothing about the lower, or lower middle classes.
April 9, 2022
After living the majority of my life in France as a middle aged man I've managed to identify a number of factors that the author has covered that have been true to french culture and the parisian lifestyle. I highly recommend this book to whoever is considering reading it to get a detailed understanding of France. A brilliant read.
July 9, 2023
A lot of this book probably went over my head but this comparison of England’s and France’s culture was very interesting.
January 19, 2014
(in french)
Le point de vue d'une anglaise qui débarque à Paris à 18 ans et découvre les moeurs de la bourgeoisie Parisienne (du 16ème).
J'ai beaucoup aimé l'analyse des différences entre les deux pays (surtout socialement). Malheureusement (et l'auteur le souligne dans le dernier chapitre), les bourgeois du 16ème ne sont pas représentatifs des français!
Il y a des passages vraiment drôles (le restaurant, la partouze). Il y également des passages plus injustes: par exemple cette aversion contre la Fête de la Musique ou cette idée de liberté liée à celle de la propriété).
Le livre est très plaisant à lire quand l'auteur relate ses expériences personnelles. Mais lorsque le récit devient trop général (analyse de la deuxième guerre mondiale et la politique, chapitres 9 à 12), c'est franchement très rébarbatif (pour le français que je suis). On sent bien que l'auteur (ex journaliste à la BBC) a fait de nombreuses recherches, mais je trouve qu'on évoque à de trop nombreuses reprises les Nazis et De Gaulle.
Le point de vue d'une anglaise qui débarque à Paris à 18 ans et découvre les moeurs de la bourgeoisie Parisienne (du 16ème).
J'ai beaucoup aimé l'analyse des différences entre les deux pays (surtout socialement). Malheureusement (et l'auteur le souligne dans le dernier chapitre), les bourgeois du 16ème ne sont pas représentatifs des français!
Il y a des passages vraiment drôles (le restaurant, la partouze). Il y également des passages plus injustes: par exemple cette aversion contre la Fête de la Musique ou cette idée de liberté liée à celle de la propriété).
Le livre est très plaisant à lire quand l'auteur relate ses expériences personnelles. Mais lorsque le récit devient trop général (analyse de la deuxième guerre mondiale et la politique, chapitres 9 à 12), c'est franchement très rébarbatif (pour le français que je suis). On sent bien que l'auteur (ex journaliste à la BBC) a fait de nombreuses recherches, mais je trouve qu'on évoque à de trop nombreuses reprises les Nazis et De Gaulle.
August 25, 2015
The author finds ways to express many idiosyncrasies that I have noticed but have never been able to put into words. The author eloquently and deeply discusses the differences between the two cultures and the reasons behind these differences. The French have a completely different approach to their priorities, are fundamentally socialist, have a sense of humour that lacks both irony and self-deprecation, and have a concept of marriage and religion that is significantly estranged from the British version.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who has lived in both countries. It is an educated and informed piece of work which hits the nail on the head time and time again. I find it fascinating that two countries that are so close in proximity and are ostensibly rather similar, have deeply ingrained distinctions.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who has lived in both countries. It is an educated and informed piece of work which hits the nail on the head time and time again. I find it fascinating that two countries that are so close in proximity and are ostensibly rather similar, have deeply ingrained distinctions.
July 23, 2011
I find the French at times paradoxical. The French embrace beauty in their fashion, architecture and art, yet their streets are littered with cigarette butts, human urine and dog feces. They want to remain as one of the preeminent global leaders, but they don't seem to want to account for their past legacies, particularly in Africa. The French also want the best education, food and services, but don't appear to want to work or pay for it. What is at least clear about the French is that they love life for what it is now in its most uninhibited and simplistic form, an endearing quality. This book has helped to reinforce many of my initial perspectives of this complex and intriguing country, or at least of life in Paris.
June 6, 2012
I really enjoyed Lucy Wadham's personal account concerning being an Englishwoman who, upon marrying a Frenchman, adopted the French way of life. Her anecdotes were amusing, often funny, and her observations about French culture were informative for any nascent (or longtime) Francophile. In short, a vivid depiction of cultural immersion. However, when Wadham descended more into the political goings-on of France, and it became less of a memoir, I found myself becoming increasingly disinterested. Still an enjoyable and entertaining read, but I would have preferred Wadham kept with the style and subject matter she had established in the first half of the book.
Sidenote: Despite the author's claims, Air are in fact a very good French band...
Sidenote: Despite the author's claims, Air are in fact a very good French band...
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