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Dobytí severního pólu Čechem Karlem Němcem 5. dubna 1909
Dobytí severního pólu (full Dobytí severního pólu Čechem Karlem Němcem 5. dubna 1909, in The Conquest of the North Pole by the Czech Karel Němec on 5 April 1909) is a comedy written allegedly by fictional Czech polymath, Jára Cimrman. Its real authors are Zdeněk Svěrák and Ladislav Smoljak. The work was premiered on 25 October 1985 in Divadlo Jiřího Wolkera in Prague.
The play is about a fictional Czech Arctic expedition who conquered the North Pole one day before Robert Peary. As with the other plays supposedly authored by Cimrman, it satirizes Czech national psychology and patriotic clichés, using many puns, historical hoaxes and the distancing effect. It was published as a book, CD, DVD and VHS, and was translated into English by Craig Cravens and by Emilia Machalová and Brian Stewart. The premiere of the Machalová and Stewart version of Conquest of The North Pole is set for April 16th, 2016 at the Jára Cimrmana Theatre in Prague. As with their previous translation of another Cimrman classic, The Stand-In, Záskok, the Machalová and Stewart version aims to stay closer to the original Czech text.
The play is about a fictional Czech Arctic expedition who conquered the North Pole one day before Robert Peary. As with the other plays supposedly authored by Cimrman, it satirizes Czech national psychology and patriotic clichés, using many puns, historical hoaxes and the distancing effect. It was published as a book, CD, DVD and VHS, and was translated into English by Craig Cravens and by Emilia Machalová and Brian Stewart. The premiere of the Machalová and Stewart version of Conquest of The North Pole is set for April 16th, 2016 at the Jára Cimrmana Theatre in Prague. As with their previous translation of another Cimrman classic, The Stand-In, Záskok, the Machalová and Stewart version aims to stay closer to the original Czech text.
74 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1993
3 people are currently reading
114 people want to read
About the author
Jára Cimrman
18 books44 followersJara Cimrman was a Vienna-born Czech polymath. He was a pedagogue, dramatist, philosopher, gynecologist-amateur, skier, inventor, a close friend of Einstein and a private enemy of Edison. His strongest character trait was patriotism, and he liked to come to Bohemia, which he considered his true home. Here his life work culminated.
In 2005, Jara Cimrman won the title of The Gratest Czech as a result of a poll organised by the Czech Television.
Early life
Jara Cimrman was born in the years 1850-1870 in Vienna. Because Franz Huschkov, the registrar of the 4th Vienna Parish, was making most of his entries in a state of inebriation, it cannot be said with any degree of certainty whether Jára Cimrman was born to Marlén and Leopold Cimrman on a freezing February night in 1857, 1864, or 1876. We therefore assume that he was born in 1880, which would make the year 2000 the 120th anniversary of the master’s birth.
In his childhood, he had to attend a Czech school in the mornings and a German school in the afternoons. Consequently, his manuscripts, which were written in a mixture of Czech and German, are full of Czechisms and Germanisms. Jara didn't live through the period of puberty. His parents were hiding the fact that he was a boy as they wanted him to wear his elder sister's old clothes. When his fellow classmates at the girls' school accidentaly revealed the truth that he was not a girl, he was already out of puberty (because girls mature sooner).
Biography & Contributions
At the age of 17 (or 42), he left home and lived in many countries and almost all continents.
According to his biographers, cimrmanologists represented by Ladislav Smoljak and Zdeněk Svěrák, Jára Cimrman made extensive contributions to all of mankind in many areas. He proposed the Panama Canal to the U.S. government, while composing a libretto for an opera of the same name. He reformed the school system in Galicia. With Count Zeppelin he constructed the first rigid airship using Swedish steel and Czech wicker (the wicker being for the cabin). He was deported from Germany as an anarchist, his personal documents carrying a note that he was "a source of unrest." This led the Swiss company Omega to offer him a job to improve the unrest - balance wheel - for their Piccolo line of ladies watches. (N.B. the Czech and German words for a watch's balance wheel ("nepokoj", "Unruhe") mean "unrest.") While in Switzerland, he introduced (and practised for some time), under the difficult Alpine conditions, the profession of obstetrician. He conducted investigations into the life of Arctic cannibalistic (who eat their fellows) tribes; and once, while running away from the furious tribe, he missed the North Pole by a mere seven meters, thus almost becoming the first human reaching the North Pole.
In Paraguay he supposedly created the first puppet-show. In Vienna he established the school of criminology, music and ballet. He corresponded with G.B. Shaw for many years, but unfortunately the dogged Irishman never replied him. He invented yogurt. He generously helped many great scientists: He carried on his own back the 45 tubs of pitchblende to the basement of Mr. and Mrs. Curie, he assisted Prof. Burian with his first plastic surgery, he reworked the electrical contact on Edison's first light bulb, and he found an sublet for Mr. Eiffel. He is the creator of the philosophy of Externism. Because of his enthusiasm for natural sciences, he discovered the monopole (as opposed to the then well known dipole), but this discovery fell into obscurity until it was bewilderingly revived by 20th century economists. He is also known for having advised Mendeleev, after seeing the first draft, that the Periodic Table should be rotated to its current orientation. It is said that when Graham Bell invented his telephone, he found 3 missed calls from Jára Cimrman.
In 2005, Jara Cimrman won the title of The Gratest Czech as a result of a poll organised by the Czech Television.
Early life
Jara Cimrman was born in the years 1850-1870 in Vienna. Because Franz Huschkov, the registrar of the 4th Vienna Parish, was making most of his entries in a state of inebriation, it cannot be said with any degree of certainty whether Jára Cimrman was born to Marlén and Leopold Cimrman on a freezing February night in 1857, 1864, or 1876. We therefore assume that he was born in 1880, which would make the year 2000 the 120th anniversary of the master’s birth.
In his childhood, he had to attend a Czech school in the mornings and a German school in the afternoons. Consequently, his manuscripts, which were written in a mixture of Czech and German, are full of Czechisms and Germanisms. Jara didn't live through the period of puberty. His parents were hiding the fact that he was a boy as they wanted him to wear his elder sister's old clothes. When his fellow classmates at the girls' school accidentaly revealed the truth that he was not a girl, he was already out of puberty (because girls mature sooner).
Biography & Contributions
At the age of 17 (or 42), he left home and lived in many countries and almost all continents.
According to his biographers, cimrmanologists represented by Ladislav Smoljak and Zdeněk Svěrák, Jára Cimrman made extensive contributions to all of mankind in many areas. He proposed the Panama Canal to the U.S. government, while composing a libretto for an opera of the same name. He reformed the school system in Galicia. With Count Zeppelin he constructed the first rigid airship using Swedish steel and Czech wicker (the wicker being for the cabin). He was deported from Germany as an anarchist, his personal documents carrying a note that he was "a source of unrest." This led the Swiss company Omega to offer him a job to improve the unrest - balance wheel - for their Piccolo line of ladies watches. (N.B. the Czech and German words for a watch's balance wheel ("nepokoj", "Unruhe") mean "unrest.") While in Switzerland, he introduced (and practised for some time), under the difficult Alpine conditions, the profession of obstetrician. He conducted investigations into the life of Arctic cannibalistic (who eat their fellows) tribes; and once, while running away from the furious tribe, he missed the North Pole by a mere seven meters, thus almost becoming the first human reaching the North Pole.
In Paraguay he supposedly created the first puppet-show. In Vienna he established the school of criminology, music and ballet. He corresponded with G.B. Shaw for many years, but unfortunately the dogged Irishman never replied him. He invented yogurt. He generously helped many great scientists: He carried on his own back the 45 tubs of pitchblende to the basement of Mr. and Mrs. Curie, he assisted Prof. Burian with his first plastic surgery, he reworked the electrical contact on Edison's first light bulb, and he found an sublet for Mr. Eiffel. He is the creator of the philosophy of Externism. Because of his enthusiasm for natural sciences, he discovered the monopole (as opposed to the then well known dipole), but this discovery fell into obscurity until it was bewilderingly revived by 20th century economists. He is also known for having advised Mendeleev, after seeing the first draft, that the Periodic Table should be rotated to its current orientation. It is said that when Graham Bell invented his telephone, he found 3 missed calls from Jára Cimrman.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
September 7, 2025
velmi krátké a zábavné. 4,5
February 20, 2024
Knížka dobrá, ale hra lepší
January 22, 2023
miluju! 🫶🏻
September 19, 2018
"Tedy, nerad to říkám, ale jsou chvíle, kdy by se optimisté měli popravovat."
"Domů, do Prahy, do Podolí, do lékárny, do prdele, to je mi smutno…"
Tuhle hru jsem v rozhlasové podobě slyšela poprvé na základce a už tehdy mi připadala neskutečně vtipná. A to jsem ani netušila, že je to divadelní hra, takže vidět ji v divadelní podobě pro mě bylo jako zjevení. Dodnes patří mezi moje nejoblíbenější cimrmanovské kusy.
"Domů, do Prahy, do Podolí, do lékárny, do prdele, to je mi smutno…"
Tuhle hru jsem v rozhlasové podobě slyšela poprvé na základce a už tehdy mi připadala neskutečně vtipná. A to jsem ani netušila, že je to divadelní hra, takže vidět ji v divadelní podobě pro mě bylo jako zjevení. Dodnes patří mezi moje nejoblíbenější cimrmanovské kusy.
January 4, 2025
Dobytí severního pólu je jedna z těch mých oblíbenějších her (byť třeba ne úplně nejoblíbenější). Autoři tu výborně zpracovávají téma typické pro dobu 19. a počátku 20. století, kdy Cimrman "žil a tvořil", a to snahu Čechů vyrovnat se Němcům. Tak proč ne tím, že předběhnou Němce v dobytí severu? Opět spousta vtipných momentů, narážek, skvělé zapamatovatelné postavy a opět skvělá pointa. A v semináři vždycky pobaví Školní brašnička a Přetržené dítě. Tohle prostě baví.
"Jdu na sever... a už jdu na jih."
"Polární noc má zvláštní moc, každého přepadne smutek..."
"Děkuji ti, náčelníku, že ses mě zastal."
"Jdu na sever... a už jdu na jih."
"Polární noc má zvláštní moc, každého přepadne smutek..."
"Děkuji ti, náčelníku, že ses mě zastal."
April 24, 2025
Tahle knižní verze mi ukázala jak moc toho udělá intonace hlasu. Vtipné a záživné to je stejně jako na pódiu ale nebýt toho, že si jakž takž pamatuju intonace pana Smoljaka a Svěráka, tak by mi to nepřišlo zdaleka tak dobré. Prostě je rozdíl když to čtete a když slyšíte tu ironii a zabarvení hlasů přímo od herců.
October 16, 2023
tohle bylo tak vtipný že nic jiného k tomu říct nemůžu
February 12, 2025
Dohanim resty, po zhlédnutí jsem ráda, že jsem z Česka a jsem vděčná že toto je i moje kulturní dědictví
January 4, 2016
Není lepší pocit než číst knihu odehrávající se na Severním pólu v prosinci! :D
February 1, 2018
Desátá kniha tohoto roku, desátá Cimrmanovka a že stála za to! Cimrmanovky jsou všechny fajn, ale tato je víc než fajn 😍
November 9, 2020
tohle je vý-bor-né. vtipné, jednoduché, čtivé.
December 30, 2023
Read and watched.
February 22, 2024
Nudila jsem se. Idk proč jsem to četla ale jako zábava celkem pana berana chtěli sežrat 😭
May 14, 2024
for school
February 4, 2025
Samozřejmě, že jsem viděl představení na YouTube.
July 30, 2025
Dobytí severního pólu je desátou hrou divadelního seskupení Divadla Járy Cimrmana. Hra vznikla pod taktovkou Ladislava Smoljaka a Zdeňka Svěráka. Na pouhých třiceti stranách je zpracován scénář úvodní přednášky a potom i samotné divadelní hry. Obojí je postaveno na humoru, jenž je založen na jazykovém vyjádření, což mnohonásobně převažuje nad situačním humorem. Knihu jsem četla v rámci společného čtení v rámci skupiny #klasikomilove. Do této chvíle jsem znala jen filmovou verzi dramatu a jsem ráda, že jsem se v rámci výzvy dostala i ke knižní podobě. Byla to zábava a rozhodně mě kniha nepřinesla žádné zklamání.
January 9, 2012
Miluji Járu Cimrmana :D
March 5, 2017
Toto si přečtěte. Játy a "Co takhle sníst psy"? Nejlepší. A Školní brašnička. :D
August 21, 2013
Audiobook. Long time ago in a czech language lesson. It was a very relaxing lesson thanks to Mr. Cimrman. :D
March 8, 2016
Naprostá genialita v jakékoli podobě. Při čtení této hry jsem se chechtala jako snad nikdy předtím. Doporučuji.
September 5, 2013
Jednoduché a zábavné. Snad u každé druhé věty sem se musela smát a příběh se mi celkově hodně líbil.
October 19, 2014
Tak tohle se vážně povedlo :D
January 1, 2024
Tuhle knížku jsem četla kvůli maturitní četbě, ale byla fakt hrozně fajn. Četla se rychle a čtení mě bavilo.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews