Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook

by Sarah Schmelling

When humorist Sarah Schmelling transformed Hamlet into a Facebook news feed, it launched the next big humor trend-Facebook lit. This hilarious book is the first to bring more than fifty authors and stories from classic literature back to life and online. Schmelling uses the conventions of social networking-profile pages, status updates, news feeds, and applications-to retell everything from The Odyssey to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to Lolita.

Every day 150 million active users of Facebook log on to reconnect with old classmates, add pictures, share quizzes, and post news stories, notes, and videos. In Schmelling-s network, Satan and Beelzebub connect using the fiend finder, Don Quixote vows vengeance against Superpoke, Jane Eyre listens to Jay-Z-s -Hard-Knock Life- on repeat, Ernest Hemingway completes the -Are you a real man?- quiz, and Oedipus works on his family tree.

A loving spoof of the most-trafficked social networking website in the world and a playful game of literary who-s who, Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don-t Float will have book lovers and Facebook addicts alike twittering with joy.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Books About Books, Classics, Literature, Comedy, Retellings

273 pages, Paperback

First published July 23, 2009

About the author

Sarah Schmelling is an American journalist and humor writer. She has written for The New Yorker, The New York Times, Spin, Slate, Variety, The Washington Post, Real Simple, Newsweek, the Los Angeles Times and McSweeney's Internet Tendency, where "Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition)" first appeared. The piece inspired her book, "Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook."

Reviews

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a hoot! My husband (an English major) and I both really enjoy it. (The part on Jane Austen's Profile and the News Feed with "Pride and Prejudice" characters is my especial delight!) It's a book that is just great fun to skim over now and then when you want a good chuckle; it's very clever and witty and pays homage to the greats in Literature. I love that it brings them current with "Facebook" without demeaning the actual stories/characters themselves. I haven't read all the entries yet (some just were more engaging for me than others; and some books I haven't read yet so I don't "get" the entries) but so what I've read, I've enjoyed. Recommended for literature lovers who know their way around the Classics shelves--and their Facebook page ;-)

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Several years ago, a "Hamlet on Facebook" floated around the internet... Well, the author has published a book, presenting many of literature's classics through the medium of Facebook. We get a newsfeed of Shakespeare's history plays... we can take a "What sort of adulterous woman are you" quiz and read Hester Prynne's and Madame Bovary's squabblings about it... or see famous authors argue on someone-or-other's profile... It's like one giant in-joke for English majors.

The book is best taken in small doses, and there are certainly better sections than others. I particularly enjoyed most of the depictions of Shakespeare's works... not as thrilled about the Pride and Prejudice newsfeed.

Certainly worth picking up for lovers of classic lit. Even my mother (who has yet to give in to facebook and doesn't understand all the formatting or phrasing decisions) highly enjoyed it.

So go, all of you English majors and closet classic lovers--you know who you are--and pick it up. =)

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was amusing, but not quite as funny overall as I hoped it would be. I did chuckle at the sections on Jane Austen and the Brontes. My favorite part was Oscar Wilde's profile page, which devolved into a quip battle between Wilde, Mark Twain, and William Shakespeare. (I'm glad I just read The Picture of Dorian Gray, which helped me appreciate that section a lot more!) I also appreciated the arguments between Joyce & Faulkner and Hemingway. :-)

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny, particularly to me as I'm a Facebook addict (but a fan of the old-style Facebook feed - which is the format used in this book) and a fan of classic literature.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for anyone who loves literature and uses facebook. Hysterically funny.

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I picked up the book Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don’t Float mainly because I love anything Hamlet and anything Ophelia.

What I got was WAY more than I expected. First off this book is hilarious. It goes through a number of the classics by making them all like facebook.

So each novel has clubs they join, news feed updates, games they play, apps they add, friend request and comments, and this is how the author tells their stories.

She also added some author input and some sarcastic snark that I really enjoyed. Basically this was seriously clever and made me literally laugh out loud during several moments.

So what, pray tell, is the reason this is getting four stars instead of five? I will tell you. I got bored with some of the “books.” I haven’t read them all so the ones I have not read and honestly have no idea what they were about and didn’t care, started to bore me. I basically read the ones I wanted to and skipped the rest. Now there are 9 chapters and she covers about six books in each section. So out of roughly 54 books/author works I only skipped about eight of them. So I feel pretty good reviewing this.

The novel starts out first person Shakespeare creating a group for those who have been deemed worthy of the title Classic Author. He puts forth rules and regulations for everyone who joins and writes between a mixture of his original prose and modern day English.

Note worthy items and passages to give you a funny example of how this book worked:

Hamlet:
The King poked The Queen
The Queen poked the King Back

Dante’s Inferno was written entirely in an online quiz

Every so often writers or character would play a game called Scrabulific (scrabble) and engage in smack talk.

Wuthering Heights:
Heathcliff now owns Cathy's house via Fathering a Frail and Wimpy Son Application.

Jane Eyre:
Jane added “Lowood School” to her Education Info
Rochester's bed is smokin' and not in a good way

Anna Karenina and several others like Lolita have ADMIN notes. Anna Karenina’s is all about how long the novel is and do we really want to read pages up pages of how Levin feels about Agriculture. While Lolita’s ADMIN notes are warnings about inappropriate subjects and content.

Other stories like Romeo and Juliet show inboxes of emails. In Romeo and Juliet it shows how Friar L’s first email to Romeo about how Juliet is faking her death didn’t send and how he hopes this second email makes it in time.

To Kill a Mocking Bird is told by Scout Finch in one of those annoying if you are tagged you must fill this out and tag other people kind of way. Five Random Things About Boo Radley. She starts making things up and other characters from the book scold her, it ends with actual facts about Boo Radley.

With Edgar Allan Poe the author basically just covers all his poems and stories in one crazy section.

Edgar Allan Poe just received a ROLF Catz: iz in ur wall (wit ur ded wife)

Dracula was pretty funny, one of the more humorous lines:

Renfield found Dracula’s new house and is now humping the door.

Pride and Prejudice

Elizabeth: Yes and it must be hard to see with your head that far up your butt" to Mr Darcy



Little Women’s section was very brief and full of Louisa May Alcott complaining how tired she was of “all this moral pap.”

Over all I had a GREAT time reading this, laughed, was entertained and it was a fast easy read. I highly recommend this if you enjoy different takes on the classics (you know different takes that are not adding a vampire or a werewolf and calling it a novel.)

Enjoy.



Like this? More at: http://hauntedgravebooks.blogspot.com/

[Ms.soule · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining and often laugh-out-loud funny, at least for the books I've actually read or read about.

Favorite Parts -

Pride & Prejudice Page:
Elizabeth sent Happy Feelings to Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Darcy: I don't receive gifts from people who are obviously beneath me.
Elizabeth: Yes, and it must be hard to see with your head so far up your butt.
Mr. Darcy has changed his privacy settings.

James Joyce's Profile:
James Joyce is.
Mark Twain: Is...what?
Charles Dickens: Yes, why not finish your sentence? You have to think about your readers. What will they make of this?
William Faulkner: He's breaking boundaries with his status updates. He's flouting conventional wisdom!
Jane Austen: Are you sure he didn't just hit "Post" too soon?

Joyce, Faulkner, & Hemingway play Scrabulific:
Hemingway: And what the hell is a muchsias??
Joyce: You know, muchsias, or "thanks." Like muschsias grapcias.
Hemingway: That does not count.

[Rach · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty darn funny, especially if you've read the books and authors parodied inside. And are a facebook user, of course. Some, of course were funnier than others. I think my favorites were Romeo and Juliet with its teen over-exaggeration and angst ("Juliet OMG hooked up with random guy! Don't even know his NAME"), Alice's Adventures in Wonderland with its differing font sizes and comments from a wide range of characters and authors (Morpheus and Neo from the Matrix, Charlie, Jack, Kate and Sawyer from Lost, Dorothy Gale, Harry Potter, Gregor Samsa, Dr. Jekyll, Peter Pan, James Joyce), and Lord of the Flies with its 20th Reunion page (Jack still pisses me off, for the record). It definitely got slow in places, though, and I would say this is more of a book to leave around the house and flip through every once in a while instead of reading straight through.

[Jessamyn Leigh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow, I forgot what Facebook used to be like, lol.

This wasn't as funny as I hoped, but it had its moments. Gatsby was especially good.

[Annabelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that would work best for a reader who's a) familiar with, or preferably active on Facebook; and b) read at least half of the spoofed authors' works here (yep, you've got to be fairly well-read to appreciate the spoofs--Cymbeline didn't work for me as much as Romeo and Juliet did). Having gotten that out of the way, I had a hilarious time reading posts like these manic updates from Juliet:

Event: Party at My House!
OMG hooked up with random guy! Don't even know his NAME.
Juliet updated her privacy settings. The Capulet network may no longer view her status updates, posts, photos, and friends.
Juliet is now friends with Romeo.
Juliet is loving her balcony right now.
Romeo: Let's get married.
Juliet: I'm thirteen.
Romeo: I know a guy.
Juliet: Wheeeee!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, Humbert has changed his Relationship Status to "It's complicated," Oedipus is working on his Family Tree, Gatsby is playing Rich Guy Show and Tell, Dracula joined the group The Dead Dead, and Scarlett will try again tomorrow.

Apart from the farcical status updates, games, and applications, there is the occasional riotous quiz:

Are you a REAL MAN? Ernest Hemingway took the Are You a Real MAN? quiz with the result: 40%...You could stand to get to the gym once in a while. People you're compatible with: Ashley Wilkes, Ishmael, Jonathan Swift, Ron Weasley
Ernest Hemingway: This is ridiculous. Of course I'm a REAL MAN, ask anyone.

For the consumptive maidens there's this one from Chapter 2-The Love and Difficulties Network. Quiz: How would you snag a Byronic hero? Choose your MOST favorite to LEAST favorite methods. Some of the methods:

- Wander listlessly down a lane, distracting him so he falls off a horse.
- Hide in the corner as he woos high society women.
- Complete ignore those bizarre noises from the third floor.

This was published in 2009. Where are the sequels? With so much classic lit to mine out there, this book deserves multiple sequels! Three and a half stars.

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a fantastic book, I had a great time reading it! It's absolutely hilarious and although I loved every section of the book my all-time favourites have to be Oscar Wilde's and James Joyce's profiles. Here's a small excerpt from Oscar Wilde's which I find irresistible:

Oscar Wilde thinks we live in a age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.
Oscar Wilde: Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing. Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
William Shakespeare: Oscar, you're going to hurt yourself quipping. Also, you'll never win in a quip-off against me. We know what we are, but not what we may be. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. Frailty, thy name is woman!
Mark Twain: The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco.
William Shakespeare: Har har.
Oscar Wilde: Who would even care about that quip unless they were in San Francisco?
Ernest Hemingway: How do you fellows find the time to quip so often? No one ever quotes my quips?
Charles Dickens: They do have bad writing contests in your honour, however, as well as those look-alike contests. No one does that for me.
Ernest Hemingway: You get built-in publicity every damn Christmas!
Charles Dickens: True.
Dorothy Parker: I hear you're quipping over here? I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
Oscar Wilde: Can you all take this somewhere else? This is my page. My quips.
William Shakespeare: Sure
Charles Dickens: Of course.
Dorothy Parker: Certainly.
Ernest Hemingway: Damn right.
Mark Twain: Okeydoke.

I also loved the smack talk when authors play Scabulific together! "Faulkner: Muchsias grapcias my sautril little meise. Hemingway: I hate you." Hilarious I tell you:)

[Ash · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's no secret that I love classic lit, and I love literary jokes (I think it's safe to say this to other book lovers) so when I saw the book Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook by Sarah Schmelling I had to buy it. Literally had to, I couldn't wait to get it. And let me tell you my friends, it was worth full-price. Let me sum up the book for you the short way: Classic Lit characters and authors on Facebook. Status updates, groups, poking and all. This book at me laughing for a week.

I loved the passage on Jane Eyre, obviously. I'll give you a little taste of Jane's News Feed so you get an idea of what this book is like:

Read the rest of this review at English Major's Junk Food

[C.O. Bonham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really funny book. And I firmly believe that you don't have to be a bookworm to get the jokes. I have only read about half of the books that Schmelling Spoofs. This is not a book club book (though I guess you could start a book club with it by trying to read every book it mentions) that is to say dont sit down and treat it like a novel (there is not plot)but you will get the same enjoyment if you read it cover to cover or if you just skip around. Though please do read it all because some profiles play off of each other.

The most importaint thing though is to be a Facebook user because it makes the experiance much more enjoyable.

[Anna Francesca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was great at first, but it went on too long. Also, while I have read many of the books parodied, some I have not. Most of those jokes went over my head, and I bet this is a common occurance. I still like the idea of this text and think it could be a jumping-off point for student projects. I am also impressed by how well-versed the author is in both classic literature and online formats. One amusing section, for example, is a quiz of whether a situation came from a Shakespearean comedy or Three's Company. This book is precious for those gems, but I wouldn't suggest it for many as a cover-to-cover experience.

[Snail in Danger (Sid) Nicolaides · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first learned about this in a First Reads giveaway, and was intrigued by the title. Who wouldn't be? (Besides, of course, people who don't care for black humor.) I didn't win, alas; and since my library didn't get the book and I wasn't interested enough to buy it, I sort of let it sit on my to-read list for a while. Then, one day, I saw it sitting in the remainder bin at a Borders, and snagged it.

Verdict: the introduction is amusing, and the gimmick/premise is promising. The Facebook adaptations have little top notes of black humor, but as a rule they're all right but not grippingly funny.

[Eva · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really really funny, but probably only to big fans of English lit. At least, the numerous friends and relatives who I subjected to out loud recitations of (in my mind) some of the funniest parts did not find it that funny. They didn't laugh, and eye rolling was prevalent. I even got a few "Who's Hester Prynne?" Silly plebeian friends and relatives. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. It made me want to go back and revisit some of my favourite classics and read some that I never got around to (i.e. Great Gatsby).

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

What Facebook would be like if your favorite characters and authors all joined and began status-updating, friend requesting, and Farmville-playing their lives away. Mostly clever. You have to be pretty well-read to be able to enjoy all of it, which I am not, so there were a quite a few chapters I skipped. After the first few, some of it started to feel really repetitive. The first piece about Hamlet (the one that started it all) is still the best one. Read that and then if you're not an English uber-nerd, find your favorites, then leave the rest.

[Ami · Rating 4 out of 5]

I absolutely adored this book. HI-larious stuff. Of course it combines two of my favorite things: literature and facebook. Some of my favorite sections are the live feed for Hamlet and Jane Eyre and Oscar Wilde's profile.

The secret to continue loving this book is to equate it with the candy Sour Patch Kids. Taken in moderate doses, it provides excellent entertainment, it's stimulating, and induces a euphoric high (much like a sugar rush). But if the reader over-indulges it can leave one jaded, morose, and nursing a sick belly. So remember: ration your readings.

[Kristy Dyer Sherrod · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Elizabeth threw a sheep at Mr. Darcy." This is only one of the many hilarious lines from the Sarah Schmelling's book Ophelia Joined the Group Maidens Who Don't Float: Classic Lit Signs on to Facebook. Schmelling has brilliantly taken our obsession with social networking and applied it to some of our favorite authors and characters from classic literature.

Read more at Coffee & Literature

[Eustacia Tan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Very Short Review:

This book is perfect for lovers of literature. Provided, of course, you have a healthy sense of humour about the classics. If you think that Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is a travesty and that Android Karenina should be thrown into flames, you probably won't like this book. But if you like to make jokes about the various book (litmus test: watch Huck Finn in 4 minutes. If you laugh, the odds are you'll like it).

My literature (English A1 HL) class and I loved this book. We were passing it around during lectures(:

[Kristen Northrup · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book to browse periodically rather than read straight through. The gimmick is too specific for things to not get redundant after a chapter or two. That said, I was pleasantly surprised by how much variety she worked into that theme.

Many of the Facebook applications used here are long gone, but their gist is clear enough.

Most entries only make sense if you've actually read the source works. This is not a fun version of Cliffs Notes.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was somewhat bawdy (depending on which novel or play Schmelling was spoofing), funny, and a bit irreverent. Schmelling imagines what many of the English language classic works of literature would be like if they took place on facebook! This book is NOT a good source for literature summaries: it is purely tongue-in-cheek entertainment. HOWEVER, it will not be entirely funny to you if you aren't familiar with all of the literature that is referenced.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Authors and characters from well-known books create Facebook pages with both info from their classic stories as well as imagined opinions, thoughts, and funny connections between them as seen by their feeds, the groups they join and writing on each other's walls. It's not necessary to read through it front to back, but rather perfect for randomly opening to various pages for a surprise that will make you laugh. I received this book through Goodreads First Reads giveaway.

[Noam · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a really cool concept. Unfortunately, one of the pieces (Pride and Prejudice via Facebook) has already been done (see McSweeneys' website), and it the other version was better. Still, it was a funny concept, and Oscar Wilde's profile was pretty funny.

Schmelling might have done better focusing on a couple of pieces and making them really good rather than churning out a whole book of mediocre ones.

[J · Rating 2 out of 5]

I never actually looked through this book before I bought it. I saw it when I was standing in line at the bookstore and went home to look it up on Amazon. I got the premise, classic literature does Facebook but for some reason I just thought it would be more...novel-y. It is literally classic literature done as a series of Facebook posts. Not that great. Humorous at times but it really didn't hold my interest. Also helps if you've read the books and/or authors under consideration recently.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny way to modernize literature ala Facebook and Twitter update style. It should have had more separate sections to go over fully the other Shakespeare comedies instead of intertwining them (just my opinion). Also it would have nice to have some of the updates on Wilde stories, like Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest. And more profile information on Shakespeare, Shelley, Dickens, etc. In conclusion, literary buffs will find it a carefree way to look at the classics updated.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Pip became a fan of Mean Girls." The perfect book for the literary nerd with a substantial sense of humor. I loved it, and appreciated the author's obvious love of, and respect for, classic literature. Of course, it's not for everyone. However, even if you haven't read all the books included, it's still a very fun read, and the hilarious sum-ups of the books you haven't read may pique your interest in reading the actual book.

[Suzan Alteri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book - although at times it could be a bit even. Hear from your favorite (and not-so-favorite) characters from classic literature via News feeds in social media. A very clever idea a good introduction to some authors you probably never considered reading before. This would be a great book for reluctant readers who aren't into the canon, or for those who are and want a fun read.

[Sari · Rating 4 out of 5]

What fun. A great coffee table book for any literature fanatic in the facebook age. I laughed aloud at Edgar Allan Poe's profile/wall and the Lost references that pop up in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It's like you're having a conversation with a fellow literature nerd, and she's pretty funny.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is one of those ideas that probably looked great on paper: take some of the English language's most famous tales and turn them into Facebook posts. Unfortunately, a books-worth of them gets to be a bit much. Still, it made of an occasional chuckle. (Lady Macbeth is in need of a stain remover.) An amusing bathroom book.