What do you think?
Rate this book
Mentally Diseased
When certitude becomes doubt and skepticism replaces credulity, self-reflection feels foreign. Micah Allen Losh lived the first 37 years of his life as a Jehovah's Witness. Never questioning is dangerous - questioning is dangerous too. Mentally Diseased is the true story of how he left the "truth."
- GenresMemoir
127 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 9, 2022
4 people are currently reading
65 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
January 24, 2023
Micah is an amazing writing and individual. His talent was demonstrated in his book. This writer defies the odds and has the courage to open his life and expose this megacult. This book was truly excellent!
July 8, 2023
A very dark and forthcoming memoir of sorts that I now consider a must-read for any ex-jehovah's witness looking for catharsis. I'd also consider it a must-read for any soon-to-be or current jehovah's witness that may be attempting to vet the organization. It's a fantastic book in general for anyone interested in an eloquent and morbid rendition of a cult survivor's story.
Micah details some very pivotal points in questioning his faith and the actions of jehovah's witnesses around him that drove him further and further into doing so. These examples, I believe, are important, as this horribly damaging experience is regular for anyone who became labelled as a black sheep in that organization. From the elders valuing appearances of the society as a whole over the mental well-being of a young man in their congregation, to them downright shaming and belittling someone experiencing suicidal ideation, and even publicly shaming couples in the congregations for things that should only be between the couple, constantly involving themselves in the sex lives of their members.
This shit happens, so many experience this sort of treatment from an organization that only seeks to beat them into submission, and for many, those beatings with no real outlet or support group, will result in self-destructive tendencies, life-long anxiety and depression. Those that have responsibility towards these people as their only support group, as they have been pressured to shelter themselves and deny association with non-jws, instead treat them like dirt, abuse, berate, or otherwise alienate them. After all, you're in the only true religion, how could you be unhappy? Something must be wrong with you, and it can't be anything holy.
Micah does an amazing and bold job of putting all of this on display from his own perspective, and other major issues with how the lifestyle and ideals of jw's ultimately, and ironically, creates a monster in you. An always worried, always terrified, often hateful monster that is both constantly on edge waiting for the apocalypse. This anxiety is hard to shake as your entire worldview is built around it, both denouncing those deemed "against the one true god" and hoping silently for their death so you and all jw's can finally achieve that carrot on a stick promised since dedication to the religion.
This is all not even having mentioned the latter half of the book, which describes the author's experience in recovery, and near-constant fight and critique of how recovery organizations seeking to help individuals do so only through a rigid standard of replacing the reliance on substance with a reliance on god or seemingly trained mantras. Also here consistently receiving shame instead of much in the way of constructive, uplifting support. Reliance for reliance, instead of tailoring the recovery process and support to the individual. For many, especially someone whose own life was just upended by religion, this is an empty and ultimately doomed way to go about recovery.
I could go on a harangue for ages about how damaging this excessively controlling organization is, and how much I enjoyed reading Micah's story. The bottom line, though, is that this book will do a far better job of it than I can in this review box.
Micah details some very pivotal points in questioning his faith and the actions of jehovah's witnesses around him that drove him further and further into doing so. These examples, I believe, are important, as this horribly damaging experience is regular for anyone who became labelled as a black sheep in that organization. From the elders valuing appearances of the society as a whole over the mental well-being of a young man in their congregation, to them downright shaming and belittling someone experiencing suicidal ideation, and even publicly shaming couples in the congregations for things that should only be between the couple, constantly involving themselves in the sex lives of their members.
This shit happens, so many experience this sort of treatment from an organization that only seeks to beat them into submission, and for many, those beatings with no real outlet or support group, will result in self-destructive tendencies, life-long anxiety and depression. Those that have responsibility towards these people as their only support group, as they have been pressured to shelter themselves and deny association with non-jws, instead treat them like dirt, abuse, berate, or otherwise alienate them. After all, you're in the only true religion, how could you be unhappy? Something must be wrong with you, and it can't be anything holy.
Micah does an amazing and bold job of putting all of this on display from his own perspective, and other major issues with how the lifestyle and ideals of jw's ultimately, and ironically, creates a monster in you. An always worried, always terrified, often hateful monster that is both constantly on edge waiting for the apocalypse. This anxiety is hard to shake as your entire worldview is built around it, both denouncing those deemed "against the one true god" and hoping silently for their death so you and all jw's can finally achieve that carrot on a stick promised since dedication to the religion.
This is all not even having mentioned the latter half of the book, which describes the author's experience in recovery, and near-constant fight and critique of how recovery organizations seeking to help individuals do so only through a rigid standard of replacing the reliance on substance with a reliance on god or seemingly trained mantras. Also here consistently receiving shame instead of much in the way of constructive, uplifting support. Reliance for reliance, instead of tailoring the recovery process and support to the individual. For many, especially someone whose own life was just upended by religion, this is an empty and ultimately doomed way to go about recovery.
I could go on a harangue for ages about how damaging this excessively controlling organization is, and how much I enjoyed reading Micah's story. The bottom line, though, is that this book will do a far better job of it than I can in this review box.
April 30, 2024
This was a very powerful book! The author takes you on a journey retelling some of the most difficult times in his personal life as well as the events in his childhood that brought him to those moments.
Amazing writer!
Amazing writer!
December 13, 2022
Fantastic memoir. My only criticism is that I want to keep hearing the rest of Micah's story and see him find future moments of contentment, reality, and happiness. The rest of his story is unwritten, unlived, and full of possibilities.
I started following Micah online while he was writing his book. Some of the things he said online made me take a look at myself and my personal habits. I reached out to him one day to talk about how I felt I had a real problem with alcohol. I was drunk at the time. He didn't know I was. Or maybe he did. He didn't judge and told me a little of his experience. Now that I've read his book, I realize it was VERY little of his experience.
A few weeks after talking to Micah about my alcohol abuse problem, I decided to get sober. I've tried to do so in the past, but often relapsed after 2-4 weeks. I would tell myself that, "I don't get drunk, I just drink every day. That's not an addiction." I've been sober now for 139 days. Micah would probably be irritated if I gave him any credit for it, so I won't. However, the conversations I've had with him certainly helped me find the power to take responsibility for my own actions and face the reality of my unhealthy and dangerous habit.
Thank you for this book, Micah. Your letters to your sons brought me to tears.
I started following Micah online while he was writing his book. Some of the things he said online made me take a look at myself and my personal habits. I reached out to him one day to talk about how I felt I had a real problem with alcohol. I was drunk at the time. He didn't know I was. Or maybe he did. He didn't judge and told me a little of his experience. Now that I've read his book, I realize it was VERY little of his experience.
A few weeks after talking to Micah about my alcohol abuse problem, I decided to get sober. I've tried to do so in the past, but often relapsed after 2-4 weeks. I would tell myself that, "I don't get drunk, I just drink every day. That's not an addiction." I've been sober now for 139 days. Micah would probably be irritated if I gave him any credit for it, so I won't. However, the conversations I've had with him certainly helped me find the power to take responsibility for my own actions and face the reality of my unhealthy and dangerous habit.
Thank you for this book, Micah. Your letters to your sons brought me to tears.
December 19, 2022
POWERFUL BOOK! I support anyone exposing this beast of a cult. The love left this cult decades ago and this religion doesn't evolve with modern awareness. Keep up the good work friend.
January 24, 2023
Loved your book. It is so many things! It addresses conditional love by parents, surival, addiction and leaving a cult. You write well sir!
October 30, 2024
As a pioneer-turned-atheist, I have experienced similar interactions with elders, parents, and the congregation. Many of my friends who have left have similar stories. What didn't resonate with me was the tone of this book. I understand the author's anger, but the way he treated and talked to others in the book made him unlikable in my opinion. The way it was written, every time another person talked was just a setup for him to say something wise/deep/superior/shocking. It felt very pick-me. I kept thinking that he would have a moment of humility and realize he needs to make his own happiness, but I never felt that shift. That's how I got through my trauma, but everyone has to heal in their own way, at their own pace.
Speaking of pacing- I got whiplash when he was arrested. Where did a drinking problem come from? Before that point, I thought there was a nice pace through his life's events. After that, the introspection and minute details of jail and the half-way houses were slow. I feel like this must have been cathartic to write, but as a reader, I was thinking, "We're reading every conversation with every sponser, but just glazing over how he blacks out and messages other women?" I felt like the negative parts of the author were intentionally minimized to preserve an image of moral superiority.
I still think it's important to have stories like this. Many ex-jws don't have the education, resources, or confidence to tell their stories. Even if I didn't 100% identify with the author, I saw myself in him, like when he tried to talk to the elders about committing suicide. It reminded me of how I tried to get help with cutting and they said they'd "get back with me" and never did. Ex-jws can heal parts of themselves that have been gaslighted by reading this book. And people who have never experienced the JW religion firsthand can be made aware of it's underbelly.
Speaking of pacing- I got whiplash when he was arrested. Where did a drinking problem come from? Before that point, I thought there was a nice pace through his life's events. After that, the introspection and minute details of jail and the half-way houses were slow. I feel like this must have been cathartic to write, but as a reader, I was thinking, "We're reading every conversation with every sponser, but just glazing over how he blacks out and messages other women?" I felt like the negative parts of the author were intentionally minimized to preserve an image of moral superiority.
I still think it's important to have stories like this. Many ex-jws don't have the education, resources, or confidence to tell their stories. Even if I didn't 100% identify with the author, I saw myself in him, like when he tried to talk to the elders about committing suicide. It reminded me of how I tried to get help with cutting and they said they'd "get back with me" and never did. Ex-jws can heal parts of themselves that have been gaslighted by reading this book. And people who have never experienced the JW religion firsthand can be made aware of it's underbelly.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 19, 2023
Through the guise of ‘love’, Micah was prohibited from expressing himself – his interests in alternative media, his natural human inclinations and his valid grief over losing his father at a young age.
Despite years of trying to fit the mould and do what was expected of him, he was ultimately abandoned by those closest to him. So much for the ascendency of religious morality.
Micah has a beautifully succinct writing style which lends itself well to the brutal reality of what is described in this book. His perspicacious views, coupled with a rich and remarkable vocabulary, makes for a compelling read.
There is a defiant rebelliousness and a radicality to publishing a work like this – it takes bravery and a willingness to face your darkest moments with unflinching honesty. It is also a triumph of the human spirit to persevere despite extreme adversity, neglect, and substance abuse issues.
By reading Mentally Diseased, you can empathise with the unrelenting and systemic ways in which Micah was ostracised. In many ways, this is a first-hand missive about the pain of being ‘othered’ as well as a treatise on the appalling way that religion is used to control and abuse its members.
I would recommend this book to not only those interested in religion, cults and psychoanalysis, but also those who have ever felt like an outsider.
Despite years of trying to fit the mould and do what was expected of him, he was ultimately abandoned by those closest to him. So much for the ascendency of religious morality.
Micah has a beautifully succinct writing style which lends itself well to the brutal reality of what is described in this book. His perspicacious views, coupled with a rich and remarkable vocabulary, makes for a compelling read.
There is a defiant rebelliousness and a radicality to publishing a work like this – it takes bravery and a willingness to face your darkest moments with unflinching honesty. It is also a triumph of the human spirit to persevere despite extreme adversity, neglect, and substance abuse issues.
By reading Mentally Diseased, you can empathise with the unrelenting and systemic ways in which Micah was ostracised. In many ways, this is a first-hand missive about the pain of being ‘othered’ as well as a treatise on the appalling way that religion is used to control and abuse its members.
I would recommend this book to not only those interested in religion, cults and psychoanalysis, but also those who have ever felt like an outsider.
January 24, 2023
Micah Allen Losh's life is an example of how the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses can control your every thought and then leave you completely alone and lost. This book gives example of how the elders manipulate so much of your life. Then needing someone, anyone to support you- thirsting for acceptance. His life is full of so much emotion. I can't imagine what he's gone through. Everyone who even is questioning whether to be part of this cult should read this example of how they work- and hopefully realize they take everything away- I'm beyond thrilled that he can still find happiness in his life with his child. And can't wait to hear more from this amazing author!
March 12, 2023
Micah Losh draws a very vivid picture of the mental battles he endured after the death of his father at a young age. Life as a JW means your entire identity is being a JW…you are ‘owned by them’ and must follow all directions given by the Elders from the Governing Body at Headquarters or you are kicked out, DisFellowshipped. The total lack of empathy for this young man from his mother and the elders lead him down a path of self destruction and attempted suicide more than once. This is a story of shunning and total lack of any concern or caring for mental battles, is not only Micah’s, but all to common to so many in the world of this high control organization. Highly recommend ♥️
December 23, 2022
Heartbreaking, Emotional but we'll worth it
I recommend this book to any ex JWs out there that are looking at peoples experiences and seeing how not only does the JW cult exploit, separate, take advantage of, crews and spits out it's followers, but leaves those who leave the High control group stunted emotionally.
Micah's experiences and life story is honestly heartbreaking, and tough to read. But it's well worth to see his growth. I just hope we get s future follow up to see how he copes now. The letters at the end were definitely a touching moment.
I recommend this book to any ex JWs out there that are looking at peoples experiences and seeing how not only does the JW cult exploit, separate, take advantage of, crews and spits out it's followers, but leaves those who leave the High control group stunted emotionally.
Micah's experiences and life story is honestly heartbreaking, and tough to read. But it's well worth to see his growth. I just hope we get s future follow up to see how he copes now. The letters at the end were definitely a touching moment.
January 29, 2023
This story is about death of a parent, being raised in a cult, addiction. How much more can this guy go through? Powerful memoir! Many of us are born into a difficult situation or circumstance - it is important to heal, gather knowledge and become a conscience person. We all have a purpose in our life and sadly unloving parents that only offer conditional love, cults (colonizing companies) and abusive forces act as a parasite on our collective conscienceness. I highly support authors and survivors like these.
March 12, 2023
Micah Losh draws a very vivid picture of the mental battles he endured after the death of his father at a young age. Life as a JW means your entire identity is being a JW…you are ‘owned by them’ and must follow all directions given by the Elders from the Governing Body at Headquarters or you are kicked out, DisFellowshipped. The total lack of empathy for this young man from his mother and the elders lead him down a path of self destruction and attempted suicide more than once. This is a story of shunning and total lack of any concern or caring for mental battles, is not only Micah’s, but all to common to so many in the world of this high control organization. Highly recommend ♥️
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews