Mrs. Patty Is Batty!

My Weird School #13

by Dan Gutman, Jim Paillot (Illustrator)

With more than 30 million books sold, the My Weird School series really gets kids reading!

It’s Mischief Night in this thirteenth book in the My Weird School series! Ella Mentry School’s secretary, Mrs. Patty, gives out the best Halloween candy in the history of the world! So A.J. decides to go to her home for more! The only problem is that her house is haunted! People say she's a witch and her husband is a ghost. Is it worth A.J.'s risking his life for the best candy ever?

Perfect for reluctant readers and word lovers alike, Dan Gutman’s hugely popular My Weird School chapter book series has something for everyone. Don’t miss the hilarious adventures of A.J. and the gang!

Genres: Childrens, Fiction, Humor, Chapter Books, Halloween, Audiobook, Holiday

112 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 25, 2006

About the author

The author of over 80 books in a little over a decade of writing, Dan Gutman has written on topics from computers to baseball. Beginning his freelance career as a nonfiction author dealing mostly with sports for adults and young readers, Gutman has concentrated on juvenile fiction since 1995. His most popular titles include the time-travel sports book Honus and Me and its sequels, and a clutch of baseball books, including The Green Monster from Left Field. From hopeful and very youthful presidential candidates to stunt men, nothing is off limits in Gutman's fertile imagination. As he noted on his author Web site, since writing his first novel, They Came from Centerfield, in 1994, he has been hooked on fiction. "It was fun to write, kids loved it, and I discovered how incredibly rewarding it is to take a blank page and turn it into a WORLD."

Gutman was born in New York City in 1955, but moved to Newark, New Jersey the following year and spent his youth there.

Reviews

[Colleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would, if I could, give this book a -10 rating. If you are a parent trying to teach your child morals and good behavior in life, do not read this book to them!

These children are horrid and there are NO CONSEQUENCES for their terrible behavior. The lesson taught in this book are 1)hate school & extra education is stupid 2) feel free to lie whenever you want 3)Its fine to make fun of people 3)There is no loyality in friendship 4)Its ok to destroy property 5)Its fine to "hate" people and call them names.

This book is more of a "how to raise morally corrupt and evil children" book. Below is a summary of what you can expect to find in the books chapters.


In chapter 1 we meet AJ, Ryan and Michael, who are friends. The first sentence AJ says, "I hate school" and then "There is one thing about school I really love. Dismissal!". If your a parent who tries to impart a good attitude about school to your child, you don't want them to read this.

Then Ryan and Michael decide to TP Andrea's house for mischief night. Michael states that he "hates" Andrea because she is smart and tries to take extra classes to learn.

chapter 2: Ryan and Michael both lie to their parents and say they are going over to each others house but go to Andrea's instead to TP her house. They mess up the mission and are discoverd by Andrea and run away before her dad can come.

chapter 3; the three boys show up to school for halloween with an axe sunk into their helmets with fake blood running down and say that they are zombies. They then make fun of Andrea and her girlfirends costume. Words like, "I hate them", "I hate her", "shut up", "your dumb heads", are scattered all over this chapter.

Chapter 4: More "i hate" words and calling names. Michael accidently steps on Andrea's costume but after he realized that he stepped on her train he doesn't get off, he allows her to keep walking so her costume rips and she stands in public in her underwear and then says, "That's what she gets for dressing up like a dumb queen anyway".

Chater 5: Mrs. Patty, the teacher, warns the kids to watch out for the halloween monster who "chops up kids, steals their candy and keeps it for themselves".

chapter 6: Trick or treating, the kids rudely grab a bunch of candy out of the bowl and when the lady pulls the bowl back and says, "no", they say, "she was mean". later, michael states he'd rather have "rotten teeth than no candy". Then the kids decide that if any of them gets chopped up by the halloween monster, the survivors would split the dead kids candy. Michael was secretly hoping that Ryan and Michael would get chopped up so he could keep their candy.

Chapter 7: It is explained that the mrs patty's house is haunted because she is witch who, "poisoned her husband, Marvin, and chopped off his head". Now he's a ghost and his head is in a bucket in her basement.

There's more like this in the rest of the chapters.

[Erth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked it, the best part was when Ryan said"I think I am going to pee my pants and A.J. Was terrified and he did not like Halloween that much anymore! Really should read this book! I even gave the book 5 stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Samantha · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of the worst books I have ever read. I'm 21, so automatically I am not the target audience, but that doesn't mean that I have never been a kid who once enjoyed kid books. I still love kids' books and read a lot of them. Go through my shelves and there is plenty of evidence for it, from Diary of a Wimpy Kid to anything by Dr. Seuss, Mo Willems to Lemony Snicket to C. S. Lewis to Beverly Cleary. Rick Riordan to Dav Pilkey, Geronimo Stilton and Jigsaw Jones and Goosebumps, and hundreds of picture books.

I am a person that was in my school's gifted and talented program. I was/am a G.T. kid. A.J. is OBVIOUSLY not. What a rip off this book would have been had I bought it. Luckily it was just something my little sister checked out from the library for Halloween that I happened to notice and read for fun. So one might argue that I'm a G.T. girl, and not a boy. I knew a boy who was also G.T. in my school who I was very close friends with all the way up to high school graduation. He would have never acted like this!

I have so many gripes it isn't even funny. G.T. kids are not as cruel and self-centered as this book paints its main character. We make jokes, but our IQ and intellect goes beyond childish tendencies. G.T. kids are highly sensitive when it comes to emotions and we are very empathetic. Yes, we would laugh if someone's underwear was showing, but we would not hyperfocus on it or make them feel bad or call them crybabies or dumbheads. Girl or boy, there are lines in behavior that are distinctly drawn between an average child and a G.T. child. A.J. isn't G.T. Gifted and talented kids don't go around thinking others should be in the GT program. Its a meaningless label when you're a kid. All you know is you're tested, you get accepted into some kind of extra thing that gives you different projects to do in class or just tells you that you have something that makes you a bit special, it isn't an over arching acknowledgement of intelligence for children. We don't care that we are in GT when we are young, we just are and life goes on, we run out to the playground and play with our friends and never bring it up because it really means nothing from a kid's perspective. We don't tack extra labels to ourselves, it isn't until we are older that we understand fully what it is, but it isn't something to be flaunted or tossed about in thought.

Next complaint: overexaggeration. I've observed kids my whole life. I see my little sister on a daily basis and have helped care for her over the years. I knew most of her schoolmates and went to her school. I have little cousins. I've tutored younger kids and observed them at children's hospitals and all kinds of events in all kinds of playing activities, school activities, and various conversations. None of them talk or present ideas the way A.J. does. They say jokes that aren't funny, they don't use the same jokes or sentence constructions for everything. They might stretch time, but they won't use the same one constantly for everything.

Next: costume choice. Kids can't wear costumes like the boys did when I was in school. I wasn't in there that long ago either, probably from about 2000-2012, which was during the time that this book was published. You couldn't have anything covering your face, much less an axe with fake blood on you. Maybe my school was out of the norm, but violent things weren't super allowed. You couldn't have weapon props at all on your person or as part of your costume, regardless of what you were. Fake blood could be painted on your clothes, or as makeup on your face, but no weapons at all. No guns for cowboys, no swords for pirates, nothing like that. But maybe my school was the only one with such costume requirements and restrictions.

Next: the kids' activities. Elementary schoolers don't T.P. people's houses. I had trouble maker friends who knew about T.P.ing but no one did it until middle and high school. In my experience, that isn't a grade school activity, but again, maybe my school and city aren't as normal as everywhere else where such thing smight frequently occur. But why have that happen? Why encourage kids to do activities like that when they can do so many other things? Elementary kids go to school, they play at the park, they go to their friends' houses to play or do sleepovers, they play games or go to the movies with their friends' parents. Middle schoolers are the hell raisers who walk around and cause trouble. Thats the age where they start hating school and people, in my experience. Some kids don't love school, but very few say they hate it or just hate on everything and everyone around them. Kids are too young to care umless their upbringing has exposed them to crueler parts of human nature and bullying. They like you or don't but they aren't vindictive. They just about play with anyone who isn't too strange to them or who doesn't have cooties. Boys don't hate girls. I was a very accepted girl to all the boys and I played woth them all the time. I was one of the smartest kids in my class, not a brown-noser, but all A honor roll and people knew that. I was never disliked for it, nor did boys ever call my anything or refuse to play with me. The big thing is cooties.

Next: History and quotes. "Let them eat cake". A phrase not uttered by kings. Maybe not even said by Marie Antoinette. It was attributed to a princess or queen and Marie Antoinette, in France, during times when there were famines or social issues revolving around bread. It wasn't even literal modern cake as we or as kids would understand it. Not to get too into detail about it, but I thought it was dumb to have the male principal utter this phrase and say it is attributed to amny kings as a kingly phrase. I mean, unless you want to make commentary about teachers teaching kids wrong and speakingnlies that they were taught in school, then by all means go for it, but I don't believe that is the point. Wrong for the character, misquoted history, way to go author who can't research quotes to use properly in writing. Sure, you can just write whatever and try to get away with it....lets just go ahead and say that Columbus was an Asian or that Tomatoes are blue and America was colonized by Atlanteans, I mean, who cares about the actual historical details right? Its a book for children, but that doesn't give a person the right to be sloppy. The head chopping is accurate, but of course we wouldn't want kings to be known for peaceful activity now would we? We NEED historical accuracy. Too bad there is no consistency here.

The author goes beyond to really mess up a book for children. He misses the mark on what a G.T. kid is like, he highlights bad behavior that isn't even usually an elementary school activity, he emphasizes bullying and hatefulness where it might not even exist. He overexaggerates childhood diction and he just misses the mark on what a good children's book should be. I DON'T recommend this book for anyone, at all. Not for children, not for parents, not for appreciators of Children's Literature. Awful, awful, awful. There are tons of other books out there for children that are amazing that should not be missed on account of reading this book.

After reading this book, I'm convinced that it doesn't take much to get published when it comes to children's literature. All you have to do is overexaggerate and focus on things kids love, like candy and Halloween, then put everything in an environment that revolves around school. It doesn't matter if you can actually write well or create a compelling story with lovable characters. But hey, what do I know? I'm only a writer in a college writing program who has read a lot and was once a kid.

Captain Underpants is better. The potty humor only adds to push intriguing stories, while the characters are lovable and fun and aren't as awful as A.J. and his friends are, nor are they as intellectually challenged.

Give your kids some Berenstain Bears, Clifford, Geronimo Stilton, and Captain Underpants or Ricky Ricotta. They'll be better off.

P.S. No one wants their friends to die, even if it is for candy, come on man, don't be such a lazy fool.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked that AJ was so funny.

[Leanna DIY · Rating 5 out of 5]

A.J goes trick- or- treating and its creepy out. Are there monsters out? Or not. Is it a mummy a witch or a werewolf? This is about Mrs.Patty the witch.




I DO NOT LIKE BOOKS I LOVE BOOKS!

[Meg · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this would be a cute, short Halloween read. It was a quick read, but I did not enjoy it. The characters in the story were too bratty and annoying for me.

Things I liked:
- Very short read.

Things I didn't like:
- The characters were very annoying. I wouldn't recommend this book to kids because the kids are constantly doing bad things and they don't get in trouble for them and they don't learn from their mistakes either.
- The ending was super abrupt and left a lot of questions at the end. Was Mrs. Patty really a witch? Is her husband really dead? We will never know.
- Their school was weird, and not how an actual school works. It is just how a child would want school to work.

[Samagh · Rating 5 out of 5]

کتاب عالی و پرهیجانی بود
از خوندنش راضیم👍
من در عرض چند ساعت کلش رو خوندم

[Joshua Chen]

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[Atamdev Monga · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm going to be blunt: this is one of the worst, most infuriating books I have ever had the displeasure of reading. I’m 22, so I’m clearly not the intended audience, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love reading children’s books. In fact, I adore kids’ literature. I grew up devouring Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Roald Dahl, and Lemony Snicket. These are books that shaped my childhood, books that made me laugh, think, and grow. But this... this is just a trainwreck in every possible way.

Let me start by saying, I was a G.T. (gifted and talented) kid. And trust me, A.J. is the complete antithesis of everything a G.T. kid stands for. If I had spent my money on this book as a child, I would have been utterly horrified. Luckily, my younger sibling picked it up from the library for Halloween, and I—against all better judgment—decided to take a look. I’m honestly shocked that this was ever published. The sheer level of immaturity, the glaringly bad character development, and the utterly ridiculous plot make this feel like a half-baked mess, created by someone who has absolutely no understanding of children or how to write a decent story.

First off, let’s talk about A.J. This kid is a nightmare—a pure embodiment of everything wrong with how children are often portrayed in bad literature. A.J. hates school, hates his classmates, hates everything. He’s rude, inconsiderate, and spends the entire book mocking others, bullying people for their appearances and interests, and consistently making horrible, cruel statements like, “I hate her,” “You’re dumb,” and “Shut up.” Where is the lesson here? Where is the growth? Instead, the book teaches kids that it’s okay to be a mean-spirited, disrespectful little monster, and worst of all, there are no consequences for any of it. A.J.’s behavior is ignored, brushed aside, and it’s just... okay? That’t even get me started on the “gifted” part. A.J. is supposed to be a G.T. kid, but he’s the complete opposite of what any G.T. student actually is. G.T. kids are curious, introspective, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent. They are not petty, vindictive little bullies. I don’t know where this author got the idea that being gifted somehow makes you into a self-absorbed, egotistical brat, but trust me—there is absolutely nothing in this book that even remotely resembles the experience of being in a G.T. program. The author has completely misunderstood what it means to be gifted. The constant focus on A.J.'s superiority complex, and the mockery of anyone who isn’t in his “special” club, just feels cruel, misguided, and frankly, insulting.

Then there’s the humor—or lack thereof. This book is so painfully over-the-top, it’s unbearable. A.J.’s jokes and insults are so repetitive, they could put you to sleep. The constant “I hate this” and “You’re dumb” phrases are not funny—they’re toxic. This isn’t quirky or funny writing, it’s a shallow attempt at humor that just falls flat. I have spent years observing children, watching my younger siblings and cousins, volunteering with kids, and working in schools, and I’ve never, ever seen kids talk or act like A.J. They don’t focus on every little detail to make someone feel bad or deliberately go out of their way to cause hurt. This book misrepresents children in the most frustrating way possible.

Let’s talk about the costumes. What elementary school ever allowed a child to wear something like this? In this book, A.J. and his friends show up with axes and fake blood running down their faces for Halloween. What?! In my elementary school, we had strict rules. No weapons, no blood, no gore—nothing that could make anyone feel unsafe or uncomfortable. These kids would have been sent home, no questions asked. But in this book? Apparently it’s fine to run around dressed as walking, talking slasher movie characters. It’s ridiculous. It’s dangerous. And it completely misses the mark of what Halloween is about for kids—fun, silly costumes, not gore and violence.

Now, we have the infamous T.P. scene. T.P-ing houses? Really? That’s a middle school or high school thing! In my experience, elementary school kids aren’t out there causing mischief of that nature. They’re playing tag, riding bikes, trading Pokemon cards—T.P-ing is something older kids do when they’re bored and looking to cause trouble. The book’s decision to include this asabsurd*. Why are we encouraging children to do reckless things like this when they should be learning how to behave, share, and develop relationships with others?

And let’s talk history—because, believe it or not, this book manages to mess that up too. There’s a scene where a character quotes the famous “Let them eat cake” line, which is completely misquoted. This phrase wasn’t even said by Marie Antoinette. It’s a widely debunked myth, and the fact that the author has this character spouting it without any context or explanation just shows how lazy the writing is. There’s no effort to research, no care for accuracy—just throw in whatever sounds vaguely historical and hope no one notices. This is children’s literature—accuracy matters.

And honestly, after reading this, I’m convinced that getting a book published for kids doesn’t require talent, effort, or any kind of meaningful storytelling—it just takes a few recycled tropes: Halloween, mischief, insults, and a couple of historical inaccuracies to make it sound “fun.” Throw it all together, add some random Halloween monsters, and voilà—you’ve got a book.

The bottom line is this: Do not let your kids near this book. Don’t read it yourself. Don’t even think about it. There are so many better books out there that actually teach kids valuable lessons and provide entertainment without all the negativity and nonsense. Captain Underpants, Magic Tree House, The Berenstain Bears—these are the kinds of books children should be reading. They are fun, full of heart, and actually mean something.

This book is a complete disaster. It’s a mess. A failure in every possible way. Don’t waste your time. And don’t make your kids suffer through it either. They deserve better. Trust me.

P.S. If the author thinks this book is actually the work of a gifted writer, then I’d love to see what happens when a "genius" tries to spell “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.” Spoiler alert: they won’t. It’s harder than getting through this book without a headache.

[Lexi · Rating 1 out of 5]

We will not be reading this author or series. Parents beware. In the beginning of the book the lead character says that Mrs. Patty says funny things like “Will all children that left their jackets on the playground take off their clothes.” Funny right, when a teacher tells their student to take off clothing.?Funny when this same student undresses a female classmate then laughs at her flowered underwear? This book is poorly written and the content is very questionable.

[Adam Oussalh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love your books there sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahaha I HAVE A BOOK OF YOU AT HOME WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Janna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Children's book about a teacher and students on Halloween trick or treating. Funny and obvious book. I actually read this book only because I needed two more points to reach my AR goal but I'm glad I chose this book because it was amusing and only 100 pages.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the best book ever

About it has great reviews
I like I like everything in the book in the book
It is so great it's just so so so so so great so great to great

[Lianne Pompeo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I give this book 5 stars because it is really funny and is enjoyable to read.My favorite chapter is the T.P.ing of Andrea's house.I like it because it is really funny to read with a lot of details to laugh at. My favorite part of that chapter is when A.J. and his friend Ryan ran away when Andrea see's it from her window, then the next day at school Andrea is mad at A.J.and Ryan when she saw it and wrapped it all back up in the rolls that she found and gave it back to them. I thought it was funny and interesting.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always love a Halloween special.

In Mrs. Patty is Batty!, the book focuses on the school's secretary, Mrs. Patty. Mrs. Patty is obsessed with Halloween and decorates her desk for Halloween all year round and passes out candy. However, well Halloween actually rolls around and A.J. and his friends go trick or treating someone tells them a rumor that Mrs. Patty's house is haunted and that she may have murdered her husband. A.J. and his friends work up the courage to go to her house and find out for themselves whether or not Mrs. Patty is Batty... or crazy.

[Anthony · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's Halloween at Ella Mentry School, and A.J. and his classmates are trick or treating for candy, but when they arrive at Mrs. Patty house, they are lured into the basement to get some candy. But all they find is a headless mummy in a trunk who takes all of their candy. Will A.J. and his friends survive the scare and escape from the headless mummy, and will they get their candy back? Things have become really weird this time.

[Amelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me the chills in parts so I gave it 4 stars. It is about Halloween and AJ was told that Mrs. Patty cut off her husband Marvin's head. When he goes to her house, she invites him into the basement and he sees Marvin holding his head and Marvin tells all the kids to give him their candy.

[Sheri S. · Rating 2 out of 5]

One of my children picked out this book and I think they liked it, but I thought the plot was weak and the creativity lacking. I'm not a huge Halloween fan either, so that probably didn't help with any objectivity regarding rating the book. I supposed I'll listen to another book in the series if my kid picks one out again...maybe the next one might be better?

[Manmade M0nster · Rating 5 out of 5]

My 8 year old daughter liked this one as much as the other ones I've read to her. However this one was my favorite so far because of the Halloween theme. \m/
I also think this story was a lot more fun than the other ones.

[Karen & Gerard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mrs. Patty Is Batty! by Dan Gutman is a children's Halloween story that is about trick-or-treating. I thought it was pretty good because it had some humor and suspense to it. I think young children would like it. (4 stars)

[Chavoya Smikle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so glad I found this book again; I've been searching for it for like forever. this is the book that got me started in my reading journey, but I lost it, and I was devastated. I'm so glad I found it back.
It is a great book if your just starting out.

[Kelly Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm conflicted because my daughter LOVES these books, and they're very short and fun reads, but the characters are not nice to each other. They call one another dumb, and the main character is very hateful towards two girls in his class.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creepy cool and very funny. The kids are so true to kid form.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adore the titles to these books and my first graders love them. I have never had such a captive audience before.

[Brooklynn Gookin · Rating 4 out of 5]

My favorite part about this book was when Mrs.Patty through the joke on all of the kids. I like it because its funny and has a good and spooky book.

[Honey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is story about the main carakter going to the trik or treting to the taon.
Then the main carakter want to the techer house Mrs.patty house and sou the haloween monster.

[Queenie · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I read it in the end it actuly gave me scared when it is talking about mrs. patty's place and the story was very funny and I liked it a lot

[Nam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cute! I wish Mrs. Patty was my school secretary. She sounds awesome!

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

It Was So Good!

[Marya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well that took quite a turn! I didn't really peg this series as belonging to the fanatastic, but I guess headless mummies chasing the children is what you get get for Halloween!