"We constantly try to one-up each other with new and inventive ways to end it all. We believe if you're going to go to the trouble of killing yourself, do it with style. Anyone can pick up a gun and shoot himself in the backyard. Where's the fun in that? Make it special! Slap on some clown makeup and blow your head off in front of a blank canvas! It's the perfect way to leave your loved ones with a little piece of yourself. Only an unimaginative bore would jump off a ledge in board daylight. Be original! Fill your pockets with fireworks, light a match, and go out in a blaze of glory visible throughout the tri-state area! ... Our sick game aside, I'm not really one to plan a suicide. I'm far too considerate to leave my affairs in disarray. Before shuffling off this mortal coil, I'd feel obligated to settle my debts, make a will, write a note, find a home for my cat, and arrange to have the rug shampooed. The problem is that I'm too much of a procrastinator to ever get everything done; I'm here for the long haul in large part because I find the list of chores overwhelming."