What is this fuckery, Meg Cabot? Everything that mildly irked me over the last few books blossomed into a full-blown catastrophe in this installment, which spins its wheels and presents absolutely toxic messages.
Suze, our oh-so-intrepid mediator, is nigh on insufferable.
She immediately assumes that Jesse doesn’t care about her when LITERALLY ALL SIGNS SAY HE DOES. He kisses her. Looks out for her. Calls her romantic Spanish nicknames. Is violently jealous of other guys. And yet she is firmly convinced he doesn’t love her, and acts out accordingly. This kinda made sense with Mia Thermopolis, who was younger with lots of self-esteem issues. Suze is presented as a confident badass, regularly comments that she looks good and knows it… there is zero reason for her to be this dense.
In the last four books, Suze has repelled the advances of perfectly suitable attractive young men because she was pining for her ghostly boyfriend. Now, she can’t keep it in her pants regarding Paul Slater even after Paul (1) sorta kinda leaves her for dead; (2) is stalkery and doesn’t take no for an answer; (3) SEXUALLY ASSAULTS HER. He lures her to his bedroom, kisses her, and then physically restrains her from pulling away… and then has a bodyguard try to stop her from leaving. This is not romantic. This is not acceptable. This is not forgivable just because the intended victim sorta kinda maybe enjoyed the kiss.
I understand these books were written in a less sensitive time. But dear god, how was it ever okay to have Paul as a potential love interest after all that? And how are we supposed to believe that Suze is all torn up about whether to hook up with Paul or not after he tries to sexually harass her? I don’t care how warm she is for his form, it just made me lose so much respect for Meg Cabot as a writer, because this is so wildly out of character and so completely unacceptable.
While that was the hill I’m going to die on regarding this book, there was just so much miserably wrong with it. First of all, remember CeeCee and Adam, the intrepid Willow and Xander to Suze’s Buffy? Yeah, well, they’re pretty much props in this book. CeeCee is completely ignored and brushed off by Suze, then decides Suze is gonna run for class VP again and manages the whole campaign (which Cabot completely cribbed later for her Princess Diaries books, but with the foresight to actually develop Lilly’s character). As for Adam, I’m unsure whether he speaks at all in this book, he just exists on the periphery. Suze’s family is also wholly underdeveloped, as is pretty much everything except for the Jesse-Suze-Paul love triangle.
Also, this book was wholly unnecessary for the series – it leaves us in the EXACT SAME PLACE as the last one did. Jesse just finally showed Suze he loves her (which will doubtless be forgotten the next day)? Check. Paul is kinda violent and very mysterious, possibly the main antagonist, and made Suze aware of there being more to her mediator powers? Check. All other characters wholly ignored? Check. There wasn’t even a memorable “monster of the week” – the ghost and his living brother are more of an inconvenience than a subplot.
I just… don’t understand how Meg Cabot could have fucked this up so spectacularly. Sure, the Princess Diaries had their ups and downs. But dear god, there was never a book this bad. I’ll keep going with the series because I’ve made it this far, and they’re fast reads, but I am shocked and appalled by this installment.