African Women: Three Generations

by Mark Mathabane

Mark Mathabane tells the stories of his sister Florah, mother Geli, and his grandmother. They have to cope with abuse, gambling, drunkenness, and infidelity from the men they love or have been forced to marry. All three women defy African tradition and the poverty and violence of life in a modern urban society, to make fulfilling lives for themselves and those they love within the context of South Africa's oppressive apartheid regime. The stories of Florah, Geli and Granny, are told in their own words, in alternating chapters that demonstrate how similiar are the problems faced by each generation - the need for an independent income to care for themselves and their children, the traditional assumption that women are property, commodities bought and sold by men, and the terrible hardship imposed not only on women but also on black men by the apartheid system. The story of these three courageous women is told with passion and sympathy, and conveys their honesty, faith, and even hopefulness in which they live.

Genres: Africa, Memoir, Nonfiction

384 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1994

About the author

Mark Mathabane (born Johannes Mathabane) is an author, lecturer, and former collegiate tennis player.

Dr. Mathabane touched the hearts of millions with his sensational autobiography "Kaffir Boy." Telling the true story of his coming of age under apartheid in South Africa, the book won a prestigious Christopher Award, rose to No. 3 on The New York Times best-sellers list and to No. 1 on the Washington Post best-sellers list, and was translated into several languages.

Reviews

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been captivated by the stories of Mark Mathabane and his family ever since I read Kaffir Boy. His storytelling makes you feel as though you’re right there, experiencing it all with them. He paints such a powerful and vivid picture of life under apartheid.

I recommend reading the books in this order:

1. Kaffir Boy (Mark’s story)
2. Miriam’s Song (the story of Mark’s sister Miriam)
3. African Women (stories of Mark’s sister Florah, mother Geli and Granny)

Each book brings a unique and interesting perspective. African Women, in particular, gives voice to characters we encounter in the other books but hadn’t got to know from their point of view. All three books are impactful and unforgettable, and I have found myself thinking about them long after finishing.

Reading the epilogue, I was struck by the statistics Mathabane includes - they highlight just how widespread and severe the struggles faced by South African women truly were during apartheid.

“Women constitute 53 per cent of the South African population of 35.2 million. Nearly two-thirds of black households are headed by women. An estimated one thousand rapes are committed each day, three hundred thousand illegal abortions are performed each year, and one psychologist estimated that 60 per cent of husbands routinely beat their wives.”

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! Mark Mathabane really captivated the reader with the oppression of these three women in his life. The stories of oppression was sad , awful and degrading for these women but it is a must read. I found myself choked up with sadness with some of the stories and belly aching laughing and cheering in other parts of the book. This is definately A " Good Read"

[Ebookwormy1 · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a complex book, as personal stories often are. There is no literary narrative, no poetic impact. This story is a compilation of interviews, in which three women poignantly share their life stories: the good, the bad and the ugly. Since the three generations span 70 years in South Africa, taking the reader from tribalism through the fall of apartheid, the stories are full of change, both societal and personal, gradual and immediate.

Quotes on the jacket promote it as a banner of feminism, and the writing inside reinforces that idea. I agree with the author and his family (the book covers the life story of the authors' granny, mother/Geli and sister/ Florah) that women need freedom from oppression, but I don't agree with the remedies as suggested. While apartheid stripped men of their masculine role, certainly feminism reacts by disenfranchising men on the opposite extreme. The healthy, happy, whole place for which women are created is not independence from men, but interdependence. We need each other. The height of maturity is learning how to relate to each other in mutually beneficial ways, not the degradation of one gender or the other. The solution to patriarchy is not matriarchy, but mutual respect for each other.

The stories are presented with catastrophically narrow perspective. The verse: "A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart" (Proverbs 21:2) repeatedly came to mind. I was frustrated, even annoyed, by the women's inability to assume personal responsibility for their own actions. Bad decisions by men are acknowledged (particularly getting women pregnant out of wedlock or marrying poorly), however, bad decisions by women are universally the result of environmental factors for which they are not responsible. I agree it takes two to make an unwed pregnancy, but switching from blaming solely the woman to blaming solely the man is swinging the pendulum too far. I do not want to the judge the women, their experience is worlds away from mind, but I simply wish they would have had the self-awareness to struggle with the matter themselves.

Another troublesome example of this narrow focus is the favoritism demonstrated. By favoritism, I mean the sense that "This is bad for others to do (to us), but fine for us to do (to others)". Many times, the narrative condemns Granny's husband for leaving the family in the homelands, and taking a second wife in the city. The second wife systematically denied financial support and inheritance to the first family. Yet, when it comes time for one of Geli's girls to marry, they are open to her becoming a second/ city wife, and Geli simply advises that she make sure she is married in a civil ceremony - the first step to establishing her rights. True, this would protect the beloved daughter, but it would also raise her above equal footing with the wife in the homelands. Yet, this hypocrisy is not recognized.

This lack of self-awareness is also present in that the troubles of ones own experience outweigh those of previous generations. The invective against apartheid is justified, yet the same standard is not applied to tribalism which is equally problematic in South Africa (and Africa as a whole). The fact is, women were not treated well under tribalism either, and while apartheid may have added to the strain on their families, tribalism holds the root of their troubles, if only because it was there first. The text does touch on the idea that tribalism divided the African population, weakening them through failure to unite against European influx, but since gender relations was a theme, I would have liked to see the role of gender relations in tribalism covered in greater thoroughness (particularly through Granny's story). Perhaps that is a topic for a more academic, and less personal, work. The irony is that while Europeans brought apartheid (bad), they also brought new ideas about the equality of women (good) that open a viable path for liberation in real lives like those shared with the reader here. Many of those ideas about women as equal partners with men come from Christianity--which infuses, though doesn't seem to replace tribal religion --and becomes a defining force in the later chapters of the family's experience.

Finally, the title is misleading. These are South African women. Some of the struggles are unique to South Africa, some are more common throughout Africa, and I found the title puzzling. Why broaden beyond the clearly compelling story of 3 generations of South African women? Also, there were some timeline issues that made the story confusing. Florah is grown and on her own and Collin is dead, and then suddenly, Florah is young and living in the shack with Geli and Jackson again. It felt like the story started over again about 2/3 of the way through. While the perspective of different generations is intriguing, the author is not skilled enough to create a different 'voice' for each character, which further muddied the narrative.

While I have pointed out the negatives, I am consciously choosing to refuse to parse the question of personal responsibility verses society. On a personal level, this book tore me up. I felt so much compassion for all the women have gone through. In the end, only the Creator and Judge of us all can accurately diagnose our responsibility verse the stress and strain of the environment He has placed us in, and only God can bring about real change to make such a horrible living situation better. I am thankful to have read their story and commit them to Him.

Overall, I felt this book challenged me, made me consider new ideas. The first person perspective is personal and powerful. It was a valuable contribution to my study of Africa, but if I were to read one book about South Africa, I'm not sure this would be the one.

[Amanda Irving · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book by Mathabane. The stories of what his grandma, mom, and sister endured are unimaginable to me. South Africa and myriad countries all over the world are entrenched in sexism and patriarchy. These systems of oppression impede women's progress and autonomy. The commonality these perspectives had in common is the different levels of abuse they endured at the hands of their respective partners.

[Gail Mathabane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book could be considered a "prequel" to Kaffir Boy because it tells the first-person stories of Mark's grandmother (Ellen); his mother (Geli) and the eldest of his 5 sisters (Florah). All three of them grew up in South Africa as part of the Tsonga tribe and were sold to their husbands under the practice of "lobola" (bride price). Lobola makes it nearly impossible for a woman to leave an abusive husband, and all three women had their struggles with men. To elaborate might ruin the stories. Deborah Tannen, who teaches Linguistics at Georgetown and writes books about male-female communications styles, told the Washington Post that this is one of her favorite books. I had the privilege of traveling to Johannesburg and conducting the interviews on which this book is based, and taking the photos on the cover and inside it.

[Paul Heidebrecht · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book several years ago and totally enjoyed it. It affirmed what I had been discovering in my visits to Africa--that women are the backbone and the hope of African societies and the church. It's true everywhere but especially in Africa. Mathabane who wrote a classic, Kaffir Boy, his own personal story, writes of his mother, grandmother and sister. Enter their lives and you will be profoundly touched by the continent and its people.

[Jolene · Rating 4 out of 5]

A must read, I highly recommend it to anyone. I think it is especially important in our current society to take stock in the wealth we have been given, and be considerate of those who struggle for even a fraction of our luxuries. Similar feminism concepts apply to both our cultures, although we consider our country to generally be a equal gender society, many of our women, myself included, struggle between the world of traditional responsibility and our possibilities.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three generations of South African women cope with their extremely difficult lives of poverty, abusive males, and apartheid and the evolving culture which has fed into the system. The constant change from one generation to another makes the book a little difficult to follow but the writing is clear and easy to read.
Read Kaffir Boy first for extra context.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

While still a worthwhile read, I didn't like this as much as the other two Mathabane books I've read ("Kaffir Boy" and "Miriam's Song"). For me, it was basically like reading a really long VAWA declaration, which is what I do every day.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this one after Kaffir Boy, which I thought was a classic that everyone should read. The three generations of women struggle against cultural traditions, poverty and abuse of all kinds against women.

[Caroline H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Author, a man from Alexandra, SA who manages to get a scholarship to college in US, relates the stories of his Grandmother, Mother and sister, in their words, during years of Apartheid and the mid 1980's. He is better known for his book Kaffir Boy

[Christine Caruso Gibson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book, I drew a ton of strength from the women in this story.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I need to get this book in my library. If you want to better understand the culture of black Africa before and during Apartheid, this is a very compelling book.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A real eye opener about the life of three generations of women living in South Africa during the time of Apartheid and in the current world.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book makes me appreciate everything I have.

[Wendy]

Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting read, esp. since I head to South Africa tomorrow. Its really a 3.5.