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Called Out: A Former Lesbian's Discovery of Freedom
Janet Boynes leads readers through her inspiring testimony, from her decision to try the homosexual lifestyle, to the trauma and pain she suffered during her 14-year walk as a lesbian, and finally, to her glorious homecoming back to God in 1998. Janet discusses with honorable candor many of the issues so aggressively guarded by the gay agenda. This book is also recommended for anyone who knows or is related to a member of the homosexual community and desires to love them as Christ would love them.
224 pages, Paperback
First published December 19, 2008
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
October 28, 2013
what can i say about this book but wow! this book by janet boynes is immensley insightful and really made me understand as christians what we should be doing to assist homosexuals. This book made me realize that we are called out and we need to be bold in our faith but not abrupt. thank you so much janet boynes, for writing this book and sharing your testimony.
March 2, 2024
THE AUTHOR TELLS HER LIFE STORY, AND WHAT IT ULTIMATELY LED TO
Author Janet Boynes wrote of her early life in the first chapter of this 2008 book, “I became convinced that I was a bad kid and deserved all of the beating and name-calling I received. I grew up hating my mother and used to lay awake at night, thinking of ways to kill her before running away… Shortly after I was born, my mother began dating a carpenter named Gus… they had three children together and he lived with us for a long time. Because I felt rejected by my mother, I reached out to Gus… Things didn’t go very well between Gus and my mother. She wasn’t an easy woman to live with… He began drinking and staying out of the house until the early morning just to avoid her, but she waited up for him and then fought with him when he came back home… Even though I loved Gus, when I grew older I got involved in their fights and tried to protect my mother by threatening and hitting him. My home life turned me into a tough little girl… I decided I had to hurt others before they could cause me any pain… I did not make many friends in school and quickly received the titles of ‘bully’ and ‘tomboy,’ names that made me proud… I hated everything that had to do with being a little girl… I longed to be with and be like boys and men because I thought that they were stronger than women and didn’t experience pain and suffering… I was interested in boys… but my masculine features and the fact that I beat them up kept most of the boys away from me.” (Pg. 3-6)
She continues, “I drew the attention of someone … MUCH older. Bobby was the father of my sister Patricia... while we were alone in his house, he started touching me in areas that no man should ever touch a little child… I didn’t tell my mother … because I was too afraid of what she would do to me if she found out… Only a few months later, I was raped by an altar boy at church… I was so afraid that I might be pregnant that I actually told my mother … I took a pregnancy test, which turned out negative…” (Pg. 7)
She goes on, “Robert [her brother] announced that he was gay… Robert’s announcement was far from my first exposure to homosexuality. I didn’t have many friends, but many of the friends I did have were lesbians. Sharonda lived across the street and helped me get cigarettes and pot, but my mother didn’t approve of me hanging out with her because she was a lesbian.” (Pg. 12) She enrolled in Concordia Bible College, but “Even though I was attending a Christian school, I couldn’t escape my past. Temptations and desires began creeping up on me… I could feel myself changing. Lesbianism was always something in the back of my mind, just waiting for me to embrace it.” (Pg. 16)
However, “I moved and met a wonderful man named Laurence, a drummer in the church band and a bicyclist… we began our engagement. I was happier than I had ever been in my life, but it was a happiness that didn’t last. I met Laurence’s immediate family and, even though the rest of the family loved me, his mother took an instant disliking to me. I was black and they were white and she … thought mixed-race marriages were wrong..” (Pg. 21) “At the same time, another problem entered my life, one that threatened to shatter my relationship with Laurence… It was a problem I … refused to acknowledge… until it was far too late.” (Pg. 21)
She continues, “I was working at Control Data… a woman named Ruth began saying hello to me every time she saw me… soon we were spending every day with each other… I went to Ruth’s house one night after work, and we talked ….but we soon realized it was becoming late. Ruth asked me to spend the night…. Our talking led to other things… and that night I had my first sexual encounter with a woman. When I woke up the next morning, I knew that my life was going to change drastically… I knew that I no longer had feelings for Laurence because I was infatuated with Ruth.” (Pg. 21-23) She adds, “I… [met] Ruth’s parents… as Christians, they didn’t approve of my relationship with their daughter… I grew bored with Ruth after a year, and I wanted… out of the relationship.” (Pg. 27)
She recalls, “Cocaine was fun and … I was having a great time getting high every day… I told myself that I wasn’t ready to go back to God and I did my best to ignore Him… My cocaine addiction started having serious effects on my body… I had become bulimic… I continued dealing drugs, but things were getting out of control… Finally, I placed a call to [a] counseling hotline and told the counselor… I was struggling with a drug addiction and needed help… that same day I started treatment at Fairview Southdale Hospital. I told God that if He would help me overcome my drug addiction, I would never go back to cocaine again.” (Pg. 30-33) Later, she muses, “Even though I was reluctant to turn back to God, I still lived in fear of the consequences if I didn’t. I was still afraid … that I would die before I had a chance to make my life right with God.” (Pg. 42) She adds, “I was miserable---a prodigal with nowhere to go. ‘Help me,’ I finally cried out. ‘Please God, just take me back.’” (Pg. 45) Soon, “After years of misery, I felt my first glimmers of peace that day. God had sought me out---He had called me out---and I had finally listened.” (Pg. 54)
She explains, “In the years since those early first steps of faith, I have gradually gained confidence as a woman… I still have thoughts about the homosexual lifestyle from time to time, but I no longer have any desire to return to it. My thoughts and desires have changed since I returned to a relationship with Jesus Christ. My hope for my personal life is now to one day have a husband, and my desire… is to help those who are struggling with the same things that I struggled with for so long.” (Pg. 67)
She asserts, “I will not mince words… The Bible says that homosexual behavior is a sin. It is NOT to be practiced…. The Bible leaves no wiggle room on the issue of homosexuality… [But] I do not believe that it is a special sin. From an eternal perspective, homosexuality is no different than adultery, coveting, lying, doing drugs, premarital sex, or placing anything in our lives before God.” (Pg. 75-76)
She observes, “What does the family have to do with homosexuality? It has EVERYTHING to do with it. Our families are where we receive the first messages that shape our identity.” (Pg. 95) She states, “It is important to know that you CANNOT change someone back into a heterosexual… If they do return to heterosexuality, the decision has to be THEIRS, not yours. It has to be THEIR desire, THEIR heart, and THEIR conviction or it will not work.” (Pg. 111)
She says, “Despite the current debate over whether or not people are born gay, I know I was not born homosexual. This is why: my early childhood was filled with sorrow, hardship, and verbal, physical, and sexual abuse… I was subjected to people telling me I looked and acted like a boy. I was constantly told not to become a lesbian like the neighbor girls… What people said began to take root … in my heart, and I believe that… the words of those around me paved the way to my eventual lesbianism. I also believe my physical environment contributed to my later lifestyle. My mother was a strict, hard woman… The only father figure I had was an alcoholic. I was sexually abused by two different men… I was not born homosexual. I made a decision. My background and childhood may have been factors to influence that decision, but they did not take away my responsibility for making the decision. When in finally listened to God’s call… I made another decision, this time to leave homosexuality… I had first to be willing.” (Pg. 130-131)
She adds, “It would be a misrepresentation to lay the entire blame of my homosexual inclinations on my childhood. I also fed my desire by placing myself in compromising positions and in the way of temptation. A desire was created and it grew, constantly demanding more and more for its fulfillment … Homosexual behavior… is something completely different from homosexual inclination in that it is entirely based on choice… Engaging in homosexual behavior, just the same as engaging in extra-marital heterosexual activities, has always been and will always be a choice.” (Pg. 139)
This book may appeal to some Christians looking for testimonies about homosexuality.
Author Janet Boynes wrote of her early life in the first chapter of this 2008 book, “I became convinced that I was a bad kid and deserved all of the beating and name-calling I received. I grew up hating my mother and used to lay awake at night, thinking of ways to kill her before running away… Shortly after I was born, my mother began dating a carpenter named Gus… they had three children together and he lived with us for a long time. Because I felt rejected by my mother, I reached out to Gus… Things didn’t go very well between Gus and my mother. She wasn’t an easy woman to live with… He began drinking and staying out of the house until the early morning just to avoid her, but she waited up for him and then fought with him when he came back home… Even though I loved Gus, when I grew older I got involved in their fights and tried to protect my mother by threatening and hitting him. My home life turned me into a tough little girl… I decided I had to hurt others before they could cause me any pain… I did not make many friends in school and quickly received the titles of ‘bully’ and ‘tomboy,’ names that made me proud… I hated everything that had to do with being a little girl… I longed to be with and be like boys and men because I thought that they were stronger than women and didn’t experience pain and suffering… I was interested in boys… but my masculine features and the fact that I beat them up kept most of the boys away from me.” (Pg. 3-6)
She continues, “I drew the attention of someone … MUCH older. Bobby was the father of my sister Patricia... while we were alone in his house, he started touching me in areas that no man should ever touch a little child… I didn’t tell my mother … because I was too afraid of what she would do to me if she found out… Only a few months later, I was raped by an altar boy at church… I was so afraid that I might be pregnant that I actually told my mother … I took a pregnancy test, which turned out negative…” (Pg. 7)
She goes on, “Robert [her brother] announced that he was gay… Robert’s announcement was far from my first exposure to homosexuality. I didn’t have many friends, but many of the friends I did have were lesbians. Sharonda lived across the street and helped me get cigarettes and pot, but my mother didn’t approve of me hanging out with her because she was a lesbian.” (Pg. 12) She enrolled in Concordia Bible College, but “Even though I was attending a Christian school, I couldn’t escape my past. Temptations and desires began creeping up on me… I could feel myself changing. Lesbianism was always something in the back of my mind, just waiting for me to embrace it.” (Pg. 16)
However, “I moved and met a wonderful man named Laurence, a drummer in the church band and a bicyclist… we began our engagement. I was happier than I had ever been in my life, but it was a happiness that didn’t last. I met Laurence’s immediate family and, even though the rest of the family loved me, his mother took an instant disliking to me. I was black and they were white and she … thought mixed-race marriages were wrong..” (Pg. 21) “At the same time, another problem entered my life, one that threatened to shatter my relationship with Laurence… It was a problem I … refused to acknowledge… until it was far too late.” (Pg. 21)
She continues, “I was working at Control Data… a woman named Ruth began saying hello to me every time she saw me… soon we were spending every day with each other… I went to Ruth’s house one night after work, and we talked ….but we soon realized it was becoming late. Ruth asked me to spend the night…. Our talking led to other things… and that night I had my first sexual encounter with a woman. When I woke up the next morning, I knew that my life was going to change drastically… I knew that I no longer had feelings for Laurence because I was infatuated with Ruth.” (Pg. 21-23) She adds, “I… [met] Ruth’s parents… as Christians, they didn’t approve of my relationship with their daughter… I grew bored with Ruth after a year, and I wanted… out of the relationship.” (Pg. 27)
She recalls, “Cocaine was fun and … I was having a great time getting high every day… I told myself that I wasn’t ready to go back to God and I did my best to ignore Him… My cocaine addiction started having serious effects on my body… I had become bulimic… I continued dealing drugs, but things were getting out of control… Finally, I placed a call to [a] counseling hotline and told the counselor… I was struggling with a drug addiction and needed help… that same day I started treatment at Fairview Southdale Hospital. I told God that if He would help me overcome my drug addiction, I would never go back to cocaine again.” (Pg. 30-33) Later, she muses, “Even though I was reluctant to turn back to God, I still lived in fear of the consequences if I didn’t. I was still afraid … that I would die before I had a chance to make my life right with God.” (Pg. 42) She adds, “I was miserable---a prodigal with nowhere to go. ‘Help me,’ I finally cried out. ‘Please God, just take me back.’” (Pg. 45) Soon, “After years of misery, I felt my first glimmers of peace that day. God had sought me out---He had called me out---and I had finally listened.” (Pg. 54)
She explains, “In the years since those early first steps of faith, I have gradually gained confidence as a woman… I still have thoughts about the homosexual lifestyle from time to time, but I no longer have any desire to return to it. My thoughts and desires have changed since I returned to a relationship with Jesus Christ. My hope for my personal life is now to one day have a husband, and my desire… is to help those who are struggling with the same things that I struggled with for so long.” (Pg. 67)
She asserts, “I will not mince words… The Bible says that homosexual behavior is a sin. It is NOT to be practiced…. The Bible leaves no wiggle room on the issue of homosexuality… [But] I do not believe that it is a special sin. From an eternal perspective, homosexuality is no different than adultery, coveting, lying, doing drugs, premarital sex, or placing anything in our lives before God.” (Pg. 75-76)
She observes, “What does the family have to do with homosexuality? It has EVERYTHING to do with it. Our families are where we receive the first messages that shape our identity.” (Pg. 95) She states, “It is important to know that you CANNOT change someone back into a heterosexual… If they do return to heterosexuality, the decision has to be THEIRS, not yours. It has to be THEIR desire, THEIR heart, and THEIR conviction or it will not work.” (Pg. 111)
She says, “Despite the current debate over whether or not people are born gay, I know I was not born homosexual. This is why: my early childhood was filled with sorrow, hardship, and verbal, physical, and sexual abuse… I was subjected to people telling me I looked and acted like a boy. I was constantly told not to become a lesbian like the neighbor girls… What people said began to take root … in my heart, and I believe that… the words of those around me paved the way to my eventual lesbianism. I also believe my physical environment contributed to my later lifestyle. My mother was a strict, hard woman… The only father figure I had was an alcoholic. I was sexually abused by two different men… I was not born homosexual. I made a decision. My background and childhood may have been factors to influence that decision, but they did not take away my responsibility for making the decision. When in finally listened to God’s call… I made another decision, this time to leave homosexuality… I had first to be willing.” (Pg. 130-131)
She adds, “It would be a misrepresentation to lay the entire blame of my homosexual inclinations on my childhood. I also fed my desire by placing myself in compromising positions and in the way of temptation. A desire was created and it grew, constantly demanding more and more for its fulfillment … Homosexual behavior… is something completely different from homosexual inclination in that it is entirely based on choice… Engaging in homosexual behavior, just the same as engaging in extra-marital heterosexual activities, has always been and will always be a choice.” (Pg. 139)
This book may appeal to some Christians looking for testimonies about homosexuality.
July 13, 2021
I found this to be an amazingly balanced book. I started skeptical but found Janet's story to be powerful and her insight valuable to me and praying for other pastors and believers.
A must read for everyone today. Everyone is search for truth and real answers and I found a book that delivers and a person who lives what they teach.
A must read for everyone today. Everyone is search for truth and real answers and I found a book that delivers and a person who lives what they teach.
September 14, 2025
2025 Pop Sugar reading challenge--a book centered on an LGBT character not about coming out.
This was a very powerful testimony.
This was a very powerful testimony.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews