-This is more of a summary to myself-
Although it is repetitive, there are many gold nuggets within the book. He presents the "laws of living" interpreted from Solomon's Book of Proverbs. If you're ignorant of these laws, your life will not work, you will fail. Even if you choose to ignore them, they will still exist and run our lives. -Search for wisdom and knowledge like you would for gold and silver-
"Diligence is a skill, it's creative persistence, smark-working effort rightly planned and rightly performed in a timely manner" -- work smart and efficiently.
"The hand of the diligent will rule, but the slack hand will be put to forced labor" --- **
The diligent are sought after by people in power, people will come to you.
"In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty" --- ***
Work on gaining true diligence, it's contrary to human nature. We often seek instant gratification, but we need to stop taking the path of least resistance.
DON't rush or be hasty, be prepared always.
Laziness Results in more laziness.
"It's easier to act out of ignorance than educating ourselves" - always dig deeper
#1 stop procrastinating, take responsibility for your life
#2 have a vision, "where there is no vision, the people perish", an ant is so mission-oriented that
without direction or supervision, it does exactly what it needs to for its benefit and benefit of the colony.
- "Vission Mapping Process"
- having a perfectly clear picture of your destination and a roadmap to get there provides
motivation and direction
- be fueled by "hope" that your vision will come to life in a timely manner
- without vision, life just becomes about getting by, it has no real meaning
- HOPE IN MARRIAGE - the four greatest needs of a woman are emotion and physical security,
regular and meaningful communication, nonsexual touch, and romance. For men, it's respect
and admiration, love and desire, sex without it feeling forced. Couples often defer the hope in
their partners by not tending to their needs. Focus on helping others fulfill their dreams and
desires.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
- -This is more of a summary to myself-
There are many gold nuggets within the book. He presents the "laws of living" interpreted from Solomon's Book of Proverbs. If you're ignorant of these laws, your life will not work, you will fail. Even if you choose to ignore them, they will still exist and run our lives. -Search for wisdom and knowledge like you would for gold and silver-
"Diligence is a skill, it's creative persistence, smark-working effort rightly planned and rightly performed in a timely manner" -- work smart and efficiently.
"The hand of the diligent will rule, but the slack hand will be put to forced labor" --- **
The diligent are sought after by people in power, people will come to you.
"In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty" --- ***
Work on gaining true diligence, it's contrary to human nature. We often seek instant gratification, but we need to stop taking the path of least resistance.
DON't rush or be hasty, be prepared always.
Laziness Results in more laziness.
"It's easier to act out of ignorance than educating ourselves" - always dig deeper
#1 STOP PROCRASTINATION, take responsibility for your life
#2 VISION, "where there is no vision, the people perish", an ant is so mission-oriented that
without direction or supervision, it does exactly what it needs to for its benefit and benefit of the colony.
- "Vission Mapping Process"
- having a perfectly clear picture of your destination and a roadmap to get there provides
motivation and direction
- be fueled by "hope" that your vision will come to life in a timely manner
- without vision, life just becomes about getting by, it has no real meaning
- HOPE IN MARRIAGE - the four greatest needs of a woman are emotion and physical security,
regular and meaningful communication, nonsexual touch, and romance. For men, it's respect
and admiration, love and desire, sex without it feeling forced. Couples often defer the hope in
their partners by not tending to their needs. Focus on helping others fulfill their dreams and
desires.
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
- it is equally as bad to not say anything at all as it is to say something bad.
- most women speak 25-50k words per day, men 12-25k. This dynamic can cause
miscommunication
- the way you speak has an important impact on others - it can wound or heal
- KEYS 1. communicate in an easily digestible manner, making others want to listen.
2. learn the art of persuasion 3. listen before speaking, don't interrupt 4. be slow to speak and
guard your words 5. don't speak too much 6. never speak negatively of others 7. speak truthfully
8. share wisdom "The lips of the righteous feed many"
#3 EFFECTIVELY PARTNER, seek counsel before you make any big decisions
imagine a car without an accelerator, it wouldn't move forward no matter how impressive the car
itself was. That's what seeking counsel/effective partnering does to your life. It allows you to
reach success.
seek counseling before any problems occur - in marriage
partnering reduces the risk, the partnership gives the potential to success
avoid partnering with people that lack integrity, are quick-tempered "anger is the single most destructive force in a relationship", offers a lot for a little, doesn't seek wisdom, excessively flatter you, gossips or exaggerates, has a disregard for rules, laws, personal boundaries
GRATEFULNESS
- "it's impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same moment of time"
- "you can't stop a bird from landing on your head but you can stop it from building a nest on it"
- don't be envious, lose the entitlement - expectations of others
"Wisdom is not something you store in your head like facts, it involves action"
KINDNESS
- "Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablet
of your heart" - kindness is priceless and these should be the first two attributes a person notices
about us
- whenever you're kind to someone, it raises their level of loyalty and commitment to you
- our first instinct is to be self-consumed with our needs, but kindness is a mental and emotional
muscle that needs to be exercised
be generous with your time, kind words, thoughtfulness, deeds, emotional support, etc
lack of generosity will lead to poverty of the soul, emotional bankruptcy, generosity is never
passive
Choose to be gracious, choose to be patient when you're feeling impatient. Choose to be kind when you are angry and fell like giving someone what they "deserve"
CONFLICT/ ADVERSITY
- like gold and silver, you must go through fire if you want to be great, in order to refine our
character and build our strength
- most of the conflict we face is a direct consequence of our actions
- conflict is the gateway to the deepest levels of communication and intimacy in a marriage/
relationship. You can do more harm than good if you avoid confrontation at all costs.
- conflict should be looked at through the lens of wanting to achieve the best possible outcome, not
about who's right or wrong
- don't be PRIDEFUL - it's the cause of many of the issues in our life
- seek counsel before engaging in a conflict
- don't come down to the level of the attackers or you will be like them if they won't stop or listen
to walk away
- never prolong an argument
- be quick to forgive, "the greater the hurt, the better the opportunity for forgiveness"
- attack conflict head-on, don't bury it thinking it will go away
#4 SEEK WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING, they are the foundation for a good life
LOVING CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM
- "He that refuses instruction hates himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding"
- it's better than love, "complacency will destroy you"
- learn to respond rather than react 1. is the person qualified to give you this critique? 2. is it accurate? 3. review it and change behavior if necessary
- criticism is like getting an unexpected bucket of water thrown on your face, it might shock you but it's not dangerous, the words are only water, sand, and some gold. To get the sand out of your eyes, write down the criticism down, blocking any body language, tone, etc.
HOW TO CRITICIZE? - when not angry, done in order to produce a positive outcome, "sandwich
method"
CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS, TEMPER (Keep your anger cup dry)
- it will allow you to provide a solution when other's are blindsided by their anger
- the root cause is unfulfilled expectations, a sense of entitlement that others should be doing c
certain things
- allow yourself time to grieve to let the emotion out
- "A pearl is created by the irritation of a grain of sand"
-- truly forgive
- do not seek revenge or enjoy the fall of those who have hurt you
" Whoever digs a pit there shall fall therein. and he who rolls a stone shall return to him"
"THE NAIVE BELIEVE everything, BUT THE WISE MAN LOOKS WELL INTO THE MATTER"
' we naively act on impulse believe we will have tomorrow to correct the mistakes we make today"
people always put their best foot forward, be skeptical.. don't be lazy, do your research, seek counsel, don't act in a state of haste, don't ignore the red flags
FOCUS ON ACHIEVEMENT RATHER THAN MONEY, DON'T BE GREEDY
trying to get rich is the quickest way to go broke
generosity is the cure for greed
"A man's pride will bring him low", Soloman's pride led to his downfall
"WHEN HUMILITY IS ABSENT, PRIDE IS USUALLY IN CONTROL"
have a periodic pride checkup
if you don't understand your own behavior you will repeat it again and again
Remain a learner your entire life.