Bright Lights, Big Ass

by Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster hates to burst your happy little bubble, but life in the big city isn't all it's cracked up to be. Contrary to what you see on TV and in the movies, most urbanites aren't party-hopping in slinky dresses and strappy stilettos. But lucky for us, Lancaster knows how to make the life of the lower crust mercilessly funny and infinitely entertaining. Whether she's reporting rude neighbors to Homeland Security, harboring a crush on her grocery store clerk, or fighting-and losing-the Battle of the Stairmaster- Lancaster explores how silly, strange, and not-so-fabulous real city living can be. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can kiss her big, fat, pink, puffy down parka.

Genres: Nonfiction, Chick Lit, Humor, Memoir, Biography, Comedy, Biography Memoir

404 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2007

About the author

Jen Lancaster is the author of her own memoirs including: as Bitter is the New Black, Bright Lights, Big Ass, Such A Pretty Fat, Pretty in Plaid, My Fair Lazy, and the newest: Jeneration X.

She has also dabbled with fiction in her first book, If You Were Here.

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really hated this book. It is supposed to an accurate depiction of the author, so I suppose I can say, I hate Jen Lancaster. She is lazy, self absorbed, petty, jealous, rude, and worse, hypocritical. She is the worst kind of woman. She is educated, yet one would never know it considering how small her world view is. Yes, it is all about her.

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have rated this book higher, but the author had to rave about Ann Coulter. After that paragraph I had to throw up a little and stop reading. I'm not sure why you'd love Anne considering she says women shouldn't vote, liberals hate America, and that the 911 widows were vultures. I might try Jen Lancaster in the future she doesn't mention her love the spawn of Satan.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm a little late to the Jen Lancaster party...I picked up this book from the "New in Paperback!" section of Barnes and Noble on a whim one night when I was bored and desperately searching for something to read that I hadn't already perused a million times.

I realized quickly (because it says so on the cover) that there was ANOTHER one of these books out there...a predecessor, if you will...but I decided to stick with what I had, and go grab the first book if I liked this one. Luckily, with these sorts of memoirs, it doesn't much matter if you read them out of order.

Since reading, I have begun reading Jen's blog (www.jennsylvania.com), and have realized that this woman's not pretending (*cough*jamesfrey*cough*) - her life may not be the most exciting in the world, but damn, she's funny. And that makes the difference.

The reader is taken through house-hunting, squirrel problems, psychotic neighbors, and a mass of temp jobs, all in the kind of upbeat, sarcastic tone that one would expect to tire of quickly. Somehow, this doesn't happen. It's STILL funny, on the last page. (insider's tip: don't read this book if you have to pee, or if you have gas. it could end badly and be very embarrassing for you and those you live with.)

Jen's writing style? With her question-answer-holy-shit-are-you-kidding series at the climax of her stories? A new kind of classic delivery derived from a sorority upbringing, I'm sure - and one that works very well with her material.

This book would make a wonderful introduction to the genre of Comedic Memoir for anyone - it's my favorite type of book, and this is one of the better ones I've read. If David Sedaris was a grown-up sorority girl, this is the book he'd write.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I allowed a humorous title and promising amazon blurb to build up my expectations for this dreary collection of essays.

OK, irritating point #1: In one of the first essays, there's this guy from Texas who refers to everybody, including people in the second person singular, as "y'all." I've lived in various parts of the Southeastern U.S. and have yet to meet anyone who does this (unless it's a southerner imitating a non-southerner attempting a southern dialect--a la "Steel Magnolias.")

Wait, I'll just go ahead and skip to the worst offense: The author is sure to include reactions of other characters whenever she makes a joke. And the reactions range from loud giggles to hysterical laughter. Seriously, the woman inserted a laugh track into her book. I'm surprised she didn't include characters going "whoooooo" and wild applause whenever she opened a door.

I'm willing to swap this book for something that is actually funny (including MST3K DVDs).

[Allie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I thought I liked Bitter is the New Black but it's got nothing on this book. I was laughing out loud in the first chapter. I have grown fond of Jen Lancaster and can see a bit of myself in her.

There are so many great one-liners in this book and I hope there are more books to follow.

[Andrea Guy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so funny I hurt myself laughing in several places. Jen Lancaster really recounts parts of her life in a hilarious fashion.

She's one of those people that you love to laugh at, with and about. I'd almost want her to be my best friend, if not for her political leanings. Sorry, I can't trust anyone that enjoys reading Ann Coulter. It really makes me question her sanity. Same could be said about a certain lady that was in the running for VP, but I digress. After I got past all the little bits about politics that touched the book, and there isn't much, the rest is laugh out loud funny. I mean clutch your sides, roll off the chair and laugh until you cry.

Why?

Because Jen is just so crazy you have to laugh at her. You occasionally feel sorry for Fletch (her husband) and Maisey and Loki (her dogs) because they have to live with her.

Why?

Because though she will have you in stitches laughing she really does seem certifiable at times and downright mean at others and some other times, just plain dumb.

That doesn't stop this book from being good and it doesn't stop me from wanting to read her other books as well.

Why?

Because with all her craziness, its a wonder she's lived as long as she has without someone killing her!

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK, I went back and forth on this one. Sometimes I found her mean spirited, shallow, and just a plain pain in the ass. (As well as way too conservative in her political leanings for me. An Ann Coulter fan????? OMG!...but that's beside the point.) Regardless, the good outweighs the bad in my opinion. This lady is freakin' hilarious! There are times when you cannot keep yourself from busting out laughing. If you are in a public place, people are bound to think that you are a nut! I think perhaps my favorite chapter is one in which she confronts a telemarketer. She says things that most people only wish they could think of at the moment. She is sarcastic, opinionated, quick-witted, and someone whom you hope, if you ever met, you could be friends with instead of enemies. :)

[Stitching Ghost]

Well that was terrible. Normally I'm not one to tell people how to tell their own stories but I have a feeling a large amount of this unpleasant book was actually fictional any ways, so here goes. From the way Lancaster talks about others' appearances to the way she talks about her husband (who actually seems pretty cool) she comes across as immature and blandly mean (she occasionally seems somewhat self-aware of her own shallow, vapid and narcissistic nature so I guess there's that). I know this book was written at a different time and that our humor at that time was in something of an unfortunate era but wow that was boring and that scene of her fangirling over Ann Coulter while describing a random person who supposedly accosted her about her choice of reading material as a monkey came across as so pathetically fake (well I guess conservatives wanting to be the victim so bad isn't new). I should have looked into who that person was before picking up this book.

I don't rate memoirs but yeah do yourself a favor and skip this one.

[Felicia A Sullivan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jen Lancaster is a spoiled, racist, elitist, immature, bratty, Republican leaning, foul mouthed narcissistic arsehole, who is completely in love with herself. Worse, she thinks a) everyone else is too and b) if they're not, something is clearly wrong with them. That said, she is funny as hell.

But she? Writes like this. Even though? She complains when someone else does. So she? Apparently believes that she is allowed to do things that others are not. And that? Kind of proves my point about how much she thinks of herself. Also? That? Really pisses me off.1

She. Also. Does. A. Lot. Of. This. That. Makes. Me. Angry. Not. Funny. After. The. First. Ten. Times.

Like others in reviews of this book have written, she clearly believes herself to be far superior in intelligence and wit than the rest of us lesser humans. She is not a nice woman, but she admits that and makes no apologies for it. Cool. I can work with that.

Also like others have said, usually in stories like this (it's accounts of her life experiences, going from a six figure, elitist lifestyle to nearly a pauper in the blink of an eye when both she and her husband2 lose their jobs in the dot com crash of 2001) the people realize the errors of their ways through hard life experiences and become better people for it. Jen? Not so much. She is still all of those things above, only now she is a popular published author. God? Help us all.

1. And another thing? She? Loves footnotes. 9 times out of 10, the contents of the footnotes could be part of the actual paragraph, and you would not need to read this book like you are at an upside down tennis match. Text, footnote, text, footnote, text, footnote, up, down, up, down, up, down. Damn.

2. Her husband? Fletcher? Deserves a Ghandi Peace medal for having to deal with her ass every day. Poor, long suffering man...

[Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very disappointing follow-up to the book "Bitter is the New Black"
I couldn't even finish this book since I just got so sick of the main character's incessant ranting about nothing important. In the first book, there was actually a plot and the ranting was hilarious, but by the 2nd book, it's clear that she's basically just trying to make more money and writing another book even though there's no real substance.

[Christy · Rating 1 out of 5]

The only reason I kept reading is because she lives in my neighborhood and we apparently shop at the same Target and go to the same doctor's office. If I ever run into her in Logan Square I will tell her to stop? with the question marks in the middle of sentences and quit using footnotes to point out stupid puns.
Also, she should have stayed on the Blue Line to get to the library instead of transferring.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book SO much more than Bitter is the New Black. In fact, I was reading it in the lobby of a resort hotel (I was beginning to feel confined in my room and on my balcony) when I came to a particularly funny part and began to laugh uncontrollably. Of course, I didn't want people to know that I was laughing over a book, so I tried to restrain myself. The result was that now the patrons walking by probably thought that I was having a seizure. To their credit, no one stopped to see if I needed help. Yes, Jen Lancaster can still be mean in this book, but the non-mean moments definitely outweigh the snotty comments. I mean how can you not like a book where she admits that she turned in one of her neighbors to Homeland Security because he was in and out of the house at odd hours and drove an ever changing series of expensive cars. Turns out he was a real estate agent with parents who owned a luxury car dealership. How can you not warm up to a woman in her late 30s who is under the complete control of two dogs that she saved from the pound and several cats--all of which have revolting habits. Not as good as Such a Pretty Fat, but better than Bitter is the New Black.

[Madison Warner Fairbanks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely enjoyed. Humor in a sarcastic edge.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

In my review, I discuss a couple of passages in the book. Stop reading now if you don't want mini-spoilers.

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So far, I've got mixed feelings about this book. Sometimes I find myself laughing out loud (like when the author describes keeping the house quiet while her husband is on a conference call) and sometimes, I find myself wanting to write the author nasty letters (stop whining about being bored and let your poor husband work; grow up!)

Oh, and Terry Pratchett is the only author on this planet allowed to use copious footnotes. JL uses buckets of footnotes in Bright Lights (maybe her other memoirs too?), which annoying as hell because they don't add anything. (That, and I don't see a good reason why the footnotes couldn't go in-line with the other text.) I'm mostly through the book. I started ignoring the footnotes about 1/3rd of the way in and haven't felt like I've lost anything.

[Marie · Rating 1 out of 5]

...don't give a sh*t.

That sums up my feelings for this book. Please do yourself a favor and read Bitter is the New Black. She is so much better when she has a purpose. This was mostly "blah" about city life along with a tiny bit of temp work because her first book hasn't come out yet. It was funny in parts, even though I threw it across the room (figuratively because the copy I read belonged to my dear friend Kimberly) when she mentioned reading Ann Coulter. Out of her first three books (i haven't read the 4th yet), this is the one that really shows why she has a reputation of being a bit of a bitch.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing like driving to work listening to an audio book and laughing all the way there. I pretty much had to stop listening to this while at work because the sudden snorts and "HA!'s" were making people look at me funny. (Bless my co-workers hearts that they didn't think me a nutball - they already KNOW that - but were curious about what I was listening to since my knitting podcasts don't tend to cause such a reaction from me.) And I admit - although it made walking on my treadmill fun - I would get kind of sloppy and start laughing and walking more like I do when I have had a few glasses of Pino rather than my usual determined stride.

Yeah. I heart Jen Lancaster.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just started this book and am loving it so far. I'm about 100 pages in and have been in tears 3-4 times already.
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After reading:

I gave this bok 5 stars b/c it was hilarious. There were multiple times I was in tears b/c of it. It wasn't amazing in an earth-shattering kind of way, but I thoroughly enjoyed it anyway. It helps that I'm in Chicago, but I think lots of people will find it funny. My favorite scene is when she's in the doctor's office dealing w/ the paper robe.

[Shannon Rochester · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was not my first book by this author and it will not be my last. Apparently I have a really warped sense of humor because so many people seem to hate her books (I had no clue) but I think they are hilarious. When it comes to books, movies, TV, music, whatever...I am in it for the entertainment value...does it add any sort of value to my life? I don't have to like the author or her political leanings or anything else about her...if it makes me laugh or makes me cry...it is entertainment to me.

[Poppy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jen Lancaster's sophomore effort, which, since this is a memoir, is about the period in her life after she sold and then wrote Bitter is the New Black.

Amazingly enough, as a published author, Jen still needs to make a living. The book opens with the funniest job interview ever recorded, and closes with her entering a book store and discovering a table full of copies of Bitter.

A fun, fast, read.

[Esther Gierman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Her first book, Bitter is the New Black, was much better. I hated this book with every fiber of my being. It was terribly written, there was absolutely NO POINT to it! I'm all for "chick lit" I'm a sucker for a pink cover with curly-q lettering, but this just didn't ignite in me what even chick-lit should provide. Very disappointed, but I know myself and I know that I will read her other books. *sigh* I'm a glutton for punishment.

[Pachelbel · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Jen Lancaster's second book, and sophomore books (for me, anyway) usually don't measure up. Sadly, that's the case with this one. It didn't make me laugh the way Jeneration X did, nor did it inspire me like Tao of Martha, or charm me like Bitter is the New Black.

It did have its moments, though. If you're a Lancaster fan, definitely read this...but maybe save it for after you've read her other works.

[ScrappyMags · Rating 5 out of 5]

A 5 in the chick lit genre!! FANTASTIC - classic Jen Lancaster. I laughed out loud so much while reading this (please read alone unless you want to appear crazy). The best of all the books I've read by Lancaster - a classic.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading about Gloria Steinem's and Ruth Bader Ginsburg's accomplishments made me feel badly about myself in comparison, Jen Lancaster's special skill of humorously complaining was just what I needed to feel that I'm not completely failing at life.

[Melissa (Vacation Mode) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny memoir about Lancaster's life. Lots of focus on their living situation, moving, and the publishing of her first book.

[Obsidian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't love this one as much as "Bitter is the New Black." It definitely made me laugh a bunch, but after a while I kind of went, this seems like a lot that is happening to this one person. I had the thought that wondered if Lancaster was just "mining" those around her for good material to write another memoir about. I will say that even though my political leanings are nowhere near Lancaster's she manages to not be in your face about it and act as if you are the devil if you vote Democrat either (there's a whole thing about how she likes Ann Coulter that I totally forgot the first time through). But the book just slows down in parts and also has some not great moments which is why I gave it 3 stars.

"Bitter is the New Black" had an arc if you will. Upwardly mobile couple gets hit by the dot com bubble dropping out and then are forced into terrible places to live while trying to find work. When one of them starts to write about things that they are doing to get work, her blog becomes popular and then she gets a call and ends up writing a memoir. "Bright Lights, Big Ass" just shows us that not much of things have changed for Jen and Fletch. Instead, Jen is still working temporary jobs, Fletch is still on standby as her straight man. And Jen's neighbors are kooky and or a mess and she spies on them. There's a whole thing where she turns in one of her neighbors into Homeland Security that I didn't find funny in hindsight. I think the bigger issue is that she is writing about the in between place she was at before "Bitter" hit it big with people. It just wasn't that interesting.

I do say that the book is snappy in a lot of places and this author was the first one that I recall doing footnotes throughout her writing. I recall reading "Bitter is the New Black" and being frustrated because if you hit the footnote link it took you to them, but you couldn't get back to your reading place. "Bright Lights, Big Ass" fixed that issue though. No more trying to figure out what page I was at.

[Erin Sullivan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read 56/380 pages of this book and did not enjoy any of them. Lancaster's humor is really inappropriate, offensive, and rude.

This book was written in 2007, so I'm sure some of the offensive things can be excused as outdated and "normal for that time", but that was only 16 years ago; she shouldn't have been making these comments even then. She makes a lot of jokes about how she was formerly a very successful and wealthy woman, but that she got "fat and lazy" and now has to work temp jobs. The way she talks about herself is very negative, while also making it sound like she thinks of herself as a sexy god? She'll go from blowing her own horn and breathing about her superiority on one page to calling herself a fat, lazy cow in the next! I was gonna let that slide unless it got really unbearable, but she makes worse jokes later. In a horrible attempt to be funny (I'm assuming, bc why else would she say this?), she explains that she and her husband don't plan to have kids, but that they "reserve the right to adopt a kid from a foreign country if we ever have a big yard and no riding mower." This is a direct quote, page 48. That was when I decided to abandon the book entirely, which I try not to do if I can tough it out.

0/10 Do NOT recommend, don't read this book.

[Kira FlowerChild · Rating 3 out of 5]

Either you like Jen Lancaster's sense of humor or you hate it. I happen to like it. I can't say that I like her, and I wouldn't want her as a neighbor, but this is the third book of hers I've read, so it's fair to say I like her as an author - most of the time. The first hundred pages or so of Bitter Is the New Black were really hard to take, but I had already read The Tao of Martha, so I knew there were likely better things to come.

Bright Lights, Big Ass is better than Bitter but not as good as The Tao of Martha. We see Jen growing as a person and learning to (occasionally) think of other people instead of being totally self-centered all the time. One has to wonder what her long-suffering husband, Fletch, sees in her. She gives the impression that she would be totally lost without him. Codependency takes many forms, I guess.

[Kellie · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were so many quotable and funny quotes in here, I would be jotting down the whole book. I love this writer! This isn’t a novel with characters and plot. This is Jen’s actual life on paper. It takes someone special to be able to put all of her thoughts and adventures in writing like she does. I loved the chapter on Rachel Ray. I have a couple of her cookbooks and I have tried several of her recipes and liked them. But, I would never be caught dead sitting in front of the TV watching her show. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. I can’t take it. I like the fact Jen is a Republican and reads Ann Coulter on a bus. That’s brave. I admire her for being overweight and liking her self just as she is. Her husband should receive a medal for allowing Jen to put their life out there for all to see. If you are in the mood to sit and giggle for several hours, this is a book for you!

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't really like to use goodread's 5 star rating that often, because there aren't many books that I find "amazing." I was a little reluctant to use it for this book, because I don't want to imply that it's literary genius or anything - I just thought it was a really funny book that I was able to lose myself in for a few hours.

The book is basically a collection of essays about her life. She adds in her two cents to everything and includes witty footnotes. This will never be called great literature, but it's amusing and really light-hearted. Jen Lancaster is someone that I could see being friends with - she's funny, smart, and likes to drink. :) The only downside is that she's a Republican. Can't win 'em all, huh?

[Lori Whitwam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I LOVED "Bitter is the New Black," and this is Jen Lancaster's follow-up memoir. Also check out jennsylvania.com! Good for a great laugh every day!

Oh, Jen, thanks for making everyday things as well as ordinary things freakin' HILARIOUS!

Now, having finished it, I have to say it's a bit less satisfying than the first book. In that one, there was more of a "novel" feel to it, as we followed Jen's progress from 200K-plus VP job to extended unemployment, relocation, and new levels of self-awareness (even if still egocentric... it works for her). This one is more a collection of essays, about a variety of more minor (but still hilarious) topics. Still, I laughed out loud a lot, and recommend Jen to everybody!