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I Had a Friend Named Peter: Talking to Children About the Death of a Friend

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When Betsy learns about the death of a friend, her parents and kindergarten teacher answer questions about dying, funerals, and the burial process.

32 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1987

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Janice Cohn

8 books1 follower

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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
37 reviews
February 10, 2019
Genre: Challenges/Issues
Awards: None
Audience: 3rd grade & up
A. Betsy's friend named Peter dies when he gets hit by a car. The book is about the conversation between Betsy and her parents about the loss of her friend- what happens when death occurs, what death is, how to grieve properly, what happens at a funeral procession, etc.
B. It is a more difficult book to read solely due to the content, but it is a good selection if a parent or caregiver is struggling to explain death to a child. It answers every question a child will most likely be thinking and even subtly explains how not to describe death to a child. The book does not make the subject of death any easier, but a child will understand the process after this read.
C. This is a window book because the reading of this book is most likely because a death has occurred in the life of a child. It is probably their first time in dealing with death and they are needing strong explanations to understand the process.
Profile Image for Larissa.
Author 14 books299 followers
June 8, 2010
I'm taking a class on "Bibliotherapy for Youth Services" this summer and this was one of the first books on my reading list. Authored by a psychotherapist who was at one point the director of a Children in Crisis program, the book starts with an informational Q&A section for adults who are unsure of how to speak to children about death. It makes a number of useful recommendations (such as don't compare death with sleeping when speaking to children--this is scary), and emphasizes the importance of being honest and frank with children about death and allowing them to deal with their emotions.

Following this section, the book itself starts, telling the story of a little girl named Betsy who has to learn how to cope with and understand death when her friend Peter is hit by a car and killed.

As a book for parents or adults who work with children, I think this is a useful title, but as a book to share with children, it seems a little formulaic and stilted to me. The text conveys all the information that was in the Q&A section, stressing the same aspects of death that Cohn believes are important to share with children. But it doesn't feel very natural. The adults recite all the right lines ("I know this is scary") and the children respond in the most typical and productive ways (suggesting themselves to draw pictures in memory of Peter). This is fine, I guess, but a little too clinical for my tastes. I will say that the drawings--which the flap copy refers to as "reassuring"--wre just that. Very calming and sweet in soft pastels. They add quite a lot to the text.

I'm new to this field, so I'm open to other explanations of how this more "clinical" approach might be particularly useful for children.
21 reviews1 follower
March 31, 2016
"I Had a Friend Named Peter:Talking to Children about the Death of a Friend," by Janice Cohn is about a little girl who loses her best friend, and with the help of her parents she is able to understand death and cope with her loss. I think this book might be meant more for parents to learn how to talk to their children about death than for children to read through. The paragraphs are lengthy and maybe a little to advanced for children. However, I do think that a lot of children would be able to relate to how Betsy the main character is feeling about her loss. Cohn did a great job of having good answers to questions that children might be curious about when it comes to a topic as hard to explain as death.
The book even provides pages in the beginning that walks a parent step by step on how to handle an unfortunate situation like that of Betsy's. This is not a book that could be read at any random time because it does talk very seriously about death. However it is a book that could help a child feel like what they are going through is okay, and other people go through it too.
Profile Image for Tricia.
2,669 reviews
June 21, 2009
still undecided about the success of bibliotherapy, my jury is out on this title. a little girl's friend dies after being hit by a car. questions that a child may ask and reactions that they may have in this situation are addressed in the book. at times, the book is quite wordy so i wouldn't recommend for children under 5 unless the reader plans to paraphrase.
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