Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth about Women, Body Image, and Re-imagining the "Perfect" Body

by Leslie Goldman

"I wish my thighs were smaller." "If only I could lose ten pounds." A wake-up call for any woman who has engaged in the "if only" wishing game,Locker Room Diaries uses the unique lens of the locker room to reveal what, exactly, goes into "shaping" not just a woman's body but her body image.

The locker room can be a wondrous retreat, a place to toss aside the worries of the day, but it is also where our flaws become most apparent-and where most of us can't help but wonder how we "measure up." Often dressed in no more than a towel, Leslie Goldman spent five years talking with women of all shapes and sizes about their body image, from taut twenty-somethings to heavyset seniors. Why is it, she asks, that almost no one seems satisfied with her physique? From compulsive workouts to daily dates with the scale, from bikini waxes to body fat measurements, American women are swept up in a constant quest for the "perfect" body. Thankfully, more than one woman reveals how she halted her cycle of self-loathing and learned to like her body as is.

Blending expert opinion with wonderfully intimate, often laugh-out-loud, confidences, Locker Room Diaries will inspire anyone who knows the highs of exercise to leave the lows of self-esteem behind-and, most especially, once and for all, to step off that scale!

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Sociology, Psychology, Womens, Womens Studies, Book Club

264 pages, Hardcover

First published May 22, 2006

Reviews

[Pixie Fair · Rating 5 out of 5]

(This review was originally posted on my blog here on 4/3/11)
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It has never been a secret that I’ve battled with being overweight and mildly obese since elementary school. I mean, how COULD it be a secret? I’m fat. People can clearly see this. But what people fail to see, is even though I’ve always felt large in a physical sense, emotionally self-esteem issues with my body made me feel really small socially. To this day, I sometimes feel worthless, as if because of my huge ass, I have nothing worthy to contribute to society. Because I wear a double digit size jeans, I am not important to the world. I was always aware of how I felt, and how other bigger women and girls felt. What I didn’t know is, skinny people feel this way, too.

That is exactly what this book is about.

Leslie Goldman, an avid gym-go-er, couldn’t help but overhear proclamations of unhappiness all over her gym locker room. What shocked her was that these comments weren’t uttered from the lips of women who everyone ASSUMES should be unhappy with their bodies (a venomous poison inflicted by society). Gorgeous women with lithe, taut bodies were complaining about their butt, their thighs, and anything else they felt “plagued” them.

Curiosity got the better of Goldman, and she set out on a 5-year project, chronicling the most intimate inner workings of the female mind. For five years, she interviewed countless women, and eventually the leopard print notebook in which she took all her notes became Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth about Women, Body Image, and Re-imagining the “Perfect” Body

I picked up this book purely because of it’s title. Battling with my own weight loss issues, I’ve always been one to read and educate myself about how to feel better, and maybe even get better. I don’t regret it one bit. If memory serves me right, I read this book cover to cover in 2 days. With chapter one, I was hooked.

The book takes you on a virtual tour of the female mind. Fat, thin, old, young, white, black and everything in between, she gets us all. From boobs to eating disorders; flab to cellulite; beauty rituals to birth, Goldman leaves no stone unturned. You learn about how other women not only view their own bodies, but your body as well. You see that what is coveted is different in every single person. But what really sucks you into this book? One thing: it’s all true.

We all hate our bodies. In this book, Goldman shows us that, even when you are in a pit of self-pity and despair over your “short-comings”, you are not alone in that pit. And that is the best lesson in this book; you are not alone. While you may envy the girl on the elliptical next to you for her fabulous butt, she may want your killer abs. And the heavy girl three bikes down may think the thighs you hate are the sexiest thing in the world. That deep dark pit of self-loathing is never an empty one, even when it feels like it. It’s sad and disheartening, but while we wallow in that pit, we are teaching our daughters to climb on down the ladder and join us.

In the beginning of the book, there are three quotes Goldman included from her unconventional research. One of them made me cry.

Honey, let’s get you on the scale and see if you’ve lost anything – Mother to young daughter, approximately ten years old, overheard in locker room

At just ten years old, that girl is learning that the scale is what tells her if she’s worthy of the world or not.

Nobody has the perfect body. No one. Not a single soul. Why? Because there is no such thing. So the moral of Goldman’s story is, be happy with what you got. I agree. It’s not easy to love yourself, and I can personally attest to that. But little by little, take baby steps, and learn. It’s good for your body, and for your soul.

I’d like to leave you with a quote from an amazing woman. Leslie Goldman recognized the power in this verse, and also included it in her book. Please, take the time to absorb what it’s saying.

It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

~ Maya Angelou

[Merredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book so i could learn more about women, since i so rarely hang out with them. it ended up kind of scaring me... first of all, i do think this book had a lot to do with the author herself. she was trying to make a book about how women view themselves and their bodies, specifically in the locker room. she said she studied this over years and that this is an ethnology, but it's a lot about herself, her own anorexia, and i do believe her impressions of everything else were skewed by that. i would have liked to see her interview people from other gyms than only her rich gym, which she is continually pointing out how expensive it is, and that everyone there is rich. yes, she interviewed the janitors. there is something in between though! it also would have been interesting for her to interview some gay women, she touched on people being afraid that someone was checking them out or that people would think that, but nothing more. surely, it wasn't only straight women at her gym all those years? she did do a good job of covering a variety of ages, from little kids to old women. according to this author, everyone in the locker room is a basket case. people are rude, checking out each other's size labels on their clothes and how much the scale says for other people. people are mean, thinking mean thoughts about people both skinnier and fatter than them, and the author encourages it. i used to just get changed but this book made me wonder what my fellow locker room women were thinking about me. it made me check out my own body, like my butt and stomach. it really made me paranoid! LOL! if this is how most women view themselves, it's really sad. made me glad to be a hermit!! so, i'm torn, it did make me think, and give me different views, but those weren't always good. if you're on the edge about life, don't read this, it's depressing! lol.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in pieces, savoring some of the words, hoping they would seep into my brain and make me appreciate and love my body more than I do. As I run over 20 miles each week, drink light soymilk and munch on carrots, I'm attempting to live with my muffin top. It often seems unfair that I don't have the body I want when I work so hard, yet I'm healthier than I've ever been and in the best shape of my life. Goldman tries to convey the fact that so many of us have eating disorders and body image disorders and please, oh please, let us try to just love who we are and what we've become and not compare ourselves to each other.

Most of the book is full of little stories from other women which is another reason why it took me six weeks to read it. I just wanted to hear their story and think about it and not read anymore for a day or two. My favorite part of the book, though, was the "senior" section. Goldman had over a dozen "older" women (including Goldman's mother) tell their stories and how most of them have come to love their bodies although most struggled to finally get there.

I want to be one of those women and hopefully, with time, I will be.

[Brennan · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Whatever I'm walking around with is the best I've got at that particular time."


"I believe in focusing on the body, as long as we remember we are not the body; and if you focus too much on the body, you lose what you really are. And what you really are is a beautiful daughter of God. First, realize you are a spiritual soul. The body is a vessel. And that's what's wrong with the world today--we're so interested in the I, the me, that we don't realize we're more than the body. We're the mind and spirit. My advice to younger women would be to take care of your body by eating right, by not smoking, not drinking. Don't get overweight. Be sure you get enough omega 3 and flaxseed oil, that kind of thing. Vitamins and supplements. Yoga, definitely. But realize you are more than the body. You are the spirit and the body is just the clothing. If you focus on your spirit and your mind, your body will be radiant."

[KD · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book meant to be an ethnography of women's locker rooms, but it's written for a popular audience (and not by an academic). This makes it a chatty, quick read, but totally lacking in analysis. I enjoyed hearing various women's stories about their self-image, especially in the last chapter which is stories from older women who've mostly come to terms with their bodies, and the stories are almost completely uninterrupted by the author's voice. But the shorter quotes from women throughout the book are things all of us have heard (or said!) so hearing them again without any added analysis didn't do much for me.

[Elizabeth tedrow · Rating 2 out of 5]

i appreciate her point and her effort to get to the root of women's body issues, and the interviews she does really speak for themselves. but i got very tired of how casual her language of, and really wished she wouldve spent more time going into why they women she interviewed said the things they said.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

What a disappointment. This is a rather superficial book-length essay (and a poor one at that) that didn't offer any real insight into body image issues. The author is way too into herself and I didn't find her attempts at humor all that funny.

[Books Ring Mah Bell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Waste of my time. Thanks for the news flash that a large percentage of women (big and small) hate their bodies.

I bumped her from 1 star to 2 because she had a great interview with a 91 year old yoga instructor. That was it.

[E · Rating 2 out of 5]

insipid, masquerading as legitimate inquiry.

[Educating Drew · Rating 1 out of 5]

Argh!

Let me reiterate.

ARGH!!

This book was sooooo frustrating. Like, worse than having a hang nail and not be able to clip it, frustrating. And even worse than having someone stand right next to you pointing and saying, "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you".

I picked it up because I was perusing through the library finding books that I normally wouldn't check out, when viola, it caught my attention. It presented itself as a "real look"at women and their body images. This sort of thing fascinates me. I mean, come on, we live in Dr. 90210 times and Biggest Loser marathons. I want to hear what real women have to say about their bodies. A no hold back sorta book, ya know?

And at first, that's what I thought I was getting. Goldman opens with her role in observing locker room conversations. How self conscious women are, how they self deprecate, judge, etc. But then, a few odd pages in, the woman seemed a bit, eh, flat? (For lack of better words). They didn't strike me as the type of friends I would surround myself with. Reading a bit more, I began to piece everything together.

These women were not normal women. At least, not in my universe normal women. These women were rich women. Skinny women. Women who spent $150 a month on a gym membership that would also give you a Brazilian wax after a workout for an extra $100. Ummm, my total gym membership for the year doesn't exceed $200. Are these women really speaking for the general public?

Plus, when she interviews the women about body images and weight, she never speaks to overweight women (two - I think - are interviewed in a later chapter specifically for that). More time was spent on: hey I've had an eating disorder and I understand the struggle. Not necessarily what I was looking for.

Nope. This book came across as superficial, over the top, and I was unable to relate. I kept reading it hoping for some redeeming qualities. My loss. I would not be surprised if this does not end up on my least liked list of 2010.

[Liralen · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept of this book is great - who among us hasn't heard a woman (or, for that matter, a man) complain about her weight/shape or dress as quickly as possible in a corner?

Unfortunately, the author didn't deliver. Although I appreciated how quick a read it was, this book was also a very light read, with insufficient research and methods that wouldn't get past a decent peer review.

Goldman spent her "research" hours sitting in the locker room of her upscale gym, pretending to paint her fingernails or read a magazine while eavesdropping on (and eyeing) other women. Her observations are interesting and to some extent ring true, but she's hardly an objective writer, and her "witticisms" and revelations generally felt more like complaints - for example, the (free) razors that her gym handed out were not great (Oh! The horror!) when compared to a fancier razor bought at the store. (I... I'm sorry your fancy gym isn't fancy enough for you?) The book would have benefitted greatly from more range - perhaps Goldman could have ventured outside her gym, for example, and talked to women at the YMCA, or perhaps she could have conceded the point that wearing a pregnancy belly for an afternoon does not tell somebody who has never been pregnant how it actually feels to be pregnant (never having been pregnant myself, this is conjecture, but I suspect that it's fairly accurate nonetheless).

Read it if you want an easy read or if you like the opportunity to shout at your book in annoyance. Don't read it if you're looking for anything resembling good research or objectivity.

[Summer Lewis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought about putting this book down a few times, but I finished it. The subject matter was interesting, but I found the author's manner of writing a bit annoying. (Maybe it's because I wasn't a popular, pretty girl in school?) I think this is just a personal preference--I prefer books about body that are more academic or from women that I more easily identify with. Altogether a good effort, and at least it's not a boring read!

Quote I liked:
"…[twins:] Mary and Maureen tend to not compare their bodies with those of other women at the gym because in their minds, what’s the point? The only truly accurate comparison would be with each other because, as Maureen pointed out, “other women are not an accurate gauge.” … How could we stop comparing ourselves to each other when every other body is different from our own, and we are the only one with our belly, our ass, our legs? This would require a sea change in our way of thinking, but then again, isn’t that what this book is calling for? An entire re-imagining of the 'perfect body,' one that uses our own body as the gauge by which we measure ourselves?"
(Page 108)

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is pretty great and I only noticed two typos. hehe. It's all about how women compare themselves to other women when really we should use our own body as the standard and accept ourselves for who we are. It talks a lot about how society shapes our body images and how advertisements and other forms of media are contributing to the sexualization and body realization of young girls, some as young as 5. Those parts of the book are very sad for me because why make a 12-year-old think she has to look like a 25-year-old? Why can't we just let our kids be?
One thing I didn't like was the author's use of pop culture references. I don't know why, but they just seemed a little over-used. Every time she'd make a reference to J. Lo's booty, I was like "Okay I get it and didn't we stop talking about that five years ago?" She isn't the most clever writer when it comes to metaphors and similes, but the gist of the book, while subject topic that all women probably already know but just don't practice, is very important. I'm glad this book is out there.

[Alexis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A study about body image as it is seen in the locker room. This book had a chatty, girlfriendy magazine type style that made it easy to read. If you're a card carrying feminist, you've probably read more academic stuff about body image and you're not going to learn much here because there is really no major analysis. Still, there are some interesting points, such as the section on ethnicity and body image, ideas about waxing, lessons learned from older women etc.

Some women will probably be offended by some of the tone in this book. For example, she tends to list the body size of most people, and write like, "Shona, a black woman who is a size 8.... etc." It didn't bug me that much, but I know that this would infuriate some people.

(Other reviewers seem to love it or hate it, so I sense that I'm smack in the middle. It was an easy read)

[Melissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Picked this up on a whim from an enticing display of nonfiction books at the library and it wasn't worth the .6 of a calorie I expended to carry the damn thing home. Goldman describes this as an "ethnography" and it is in the sense that it resembles the ethnographies we had to write in 9th grade where I wrote a 10-page paper exposing all the drama in the chamber choir. Margaret Mead we ain't, people.

Seriously, this is probably the first book I've put down after the first 50 pages ALL YEAR. And this was the passage that did it: "This was my Brazilian bikini wax and I had asked for it... When it was over my cha-cha looked as if it belonged in Playboy. Yowza. It was like some sort of vaginal topiary."

Yowza.

[JoAnn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure I liked how the book was written, the author's writing style etc. Her theories are also based on a relatively small and obscure sample that I don't really think is representative of our society as a whole. HOWEVER, this was a great book to read and then discuss later for a bookclub. It was absolutely wonderful and barrier breaking to have open discussion about body image, norms, what we see that is going that is harmful, negative self talk, etc. It served a great purpose in reading and then discussing openly many concepts and ideas that are within the text.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this book freshman year of college after hearing the author speak on campus. It is written with a very casual, familiar way that assumes its audience is mostly (upper) middle class, primarily white, (sub)urban females or at least people who can relate on a cultural level to that reality. It was an easy read that at times probed me to consider my own formations of body image. Ultimately, it's a positive book that inspires women to appreciate their inner qualities more and to worry less about purely external/physical characteristics.

[Lis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting ethnography-ish book about women, working out, and body image. Though I struggled a little with woman who's a size four telling her readers they should be happy no matter what their size, Leslie Goldman manages to capture a cross-section of American women and the way they think and talk about their bodies. Not written for an academic audience (kind of a nice change for my reading), and lacking in critical analysis - but I don't think either of those were really her purpose.

[Rachel]

I really enjoyed it. It was well written, to the point and the anecdotes were well edited and a great touch.
The personal research element added a lot because the author was experiencing things mostly first hand.
It made me think a lot about culture and my own body image. Also, I was introduced to the gym/health spa culture.
Now someone needs to do a book just like this but for men.

[Jenine Young · Rating 3 out of 5]

For what it's worth this book didn't take me three years to read, just three years to decide to come back to it. I finished it in a day this time around because it's written as a pop confessional sort of book rather than written in an academic way.
It's not exactly earth shattering, but was comforting (and sad) to know that women of every shape and size have the same image issues.

[Marnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I'm always at the gym & could relate to the women in it wanting a "perfect" body & all the work involved in getting your "best" body. Reading about the women in the locker room was like talking with friends, body image is something everyone deals with & can relate to.

[Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great for any woman who wants a self-esteem boost, to better understand the negativity of pursuing the "perfect body", and/or put things into perspective! This is one of my fav books and is really uplifting, reassuring, and eye-opening!

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was great, it's good to look at things like body image through someone else's eyes. Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves, I know I can be. Can't wait for bookclub discussion about these topics.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC

The interview with little girls about body acceptance on p. 194 is delightful. Even more delightful than the stuff on 195 about how horrible fatness is is dreadful.

I realize that locker rooms are as foreign territory to me as if they were another country, another culture. Hmm.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone who has ever questioned their body image or other people's bodies should read this book.

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like this one. About women and body image.

[Teri Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not sure what the point was, but I did take some good ideas away about body image and reality.

[Brandi Moore-Declue · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was interviewed by the author for this book. Check it out. It is eye-opening to say the least.

[Bunnyhugger · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very shallow, and as others have said, mostly about the author herself.

[Ariel · Rating 3 out of 5]

If I could give it 3.5 stars I would. It wasn't really what I expected but it more or less interested me.