Between Us: A Legacy of Lesbian Love Letters

by Kay Turner (Editor)

Among lesbians, the letter has served as a crucial mode of expression - for centuries it was the sole recourse for documenting a unique and transgressive love. For any lover, letter writing is an act of urgency: for the lesbian lover, it has often been an act of necessity. Collected here for the first time is a sampling of poignantly revealing and often breathlessly passionate love letters between women, written over the past 140 years, including intimate musings by such famous writers as Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, and tatiana de la tierra. Illustrated with more than sixty full-color collages, Between Us is a landmark work, shedding light on lesbian love with candor, humor, and grace.

Genres: Nonfiction, Lesbian, LGBT, Queer, History, Poetry, Womens

160 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 1996

Reviews

[Ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

as suspected, sapphics really elevate the love letter into an art form.

tabbed some really lovely quotes from this, which I seemed to find on every other page. a very enjoyable read indeed.

[Trejon Dunkley · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a world that tried to erase or commodity us, these letters are marvelous to read. We lived, we laughed, we wrote bad poetry to the girls we loved.

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'M OBSESSED.
Let me tell you why. 

*Unconditional love as a force for good:

These simple love letters reveal the truth of being a woman and being in love, both sexual and intellectual. The truth that most men and women miss: Unconditional love. This means praising your lover, whoever they are, for the unbroken bond they have between body, soul and mind.
I guess these love letters could save the world from its cruelty:

"I have been thinking very much these days of beauty-(poor name is it not for anything so Holy). I know that if everyone felt beauty strongly, felt that everything beautiful was God and all things not beautiful not God. That woman was the nearest symbol for beauty. If one could see this- there would be no sin, or squalor, or unhappiness in the whole world.
_from the book"


*Love letters as both revolution and revelation:   

I'm even more impressed by the concept  of love letter as a "woman's art". This means one uses her art to describe her passionate love toward another person (More especially, from a woman to a woman)
It's an art, yet something hidden: While often intended to be private, these letters now offer us a glimpse into the love between women across history.  
To see something this dangerous, has lived throughout the years and governments, is notable. 
Let's see what Sappho said, centuries ago:

"It was sappho herself who first indicated the relationship between women and letters. In an ancient riddle attributed to her she asks:" what creature is it that is female in nature and hides in its womb unborn children who, although they are voiceless, speak to people far away?" she answers her own riddle: the female creature is a letter. The unborn children are the letters(of the alphabet) it carries. And the letters, although they have no voices, speak to people far away, whomever they wish.." Sappho hints at lesbian possibilities in her word game. Even in a time so distant," whomever they wish" might have been a woman receiving a love letter from another woman. Though her *letter" is forever lost, history attests to its legacy in the inscription of thousands of real love letters written between women.
_from the book"

[lexluvsb00ks · Rating 4 out of 5]

"why should they be right and we wrong? it's not just a matter of a woman falling in love with another woman, it's a whole way of approaching life, a whole series of beliefs and ideals, and feelings that is at stake. and i'm too selfish, too self-confident, to accept theirs instead of mine."

a beautiful collection of love letters written by real life lesbians, from new, secret romances to devastating and vengeful heartbreaks — gorgeous all around

[delaram · Rating 5 out of 5]

There’s something undeniably magical about reading a woman’s love letters to another woman. They hold the deepest emotions, pure and tender, woven with poetic grace to reveal what love, in its truest form, can look like.

It’s a gift women possess, the ability to shape their most intimate, romantic, and passionate thoughts into words. Each letter, a delicate offering, waits with bated breath for a response—be it joyful or bittersweet, unrequited or lovingly returned.

It’s a beautiful corner of the world, you see, this love between women. I adore everything about it. It can be a love so profound that nothing on earth could ever compare to the wonder it brings.

With all that said, I genuinely admire this book.

[Edeh]

i loved them. perfect pre valentines day book to die to. beautiful graphic designs too. a joy to read

[April Bradford · Rating 5 out of 5]

How can you rate pure confessions of love as anything but five stars?

As some other comments have mentioned, it is painful to read of fear and secrecy that was more common in the 1900s. At the same time, anything less wouldn't be accurate.

We have always existed and this is a beautiful collection of letters that proves that.

[Yvensong · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the letters in this book were beautiful tributes to love -- lost and gained. Others were just boring.

I think I would have found this more interesting if more letters were put into this book that told more of who these people were.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Went through all the emotions

[Liza · Rating 5 out of 5]

случайно обнаружила на просторах интернета: уникальный документ лесбийской любви. самое удивительное — как похожа интенсивность и способ выражения чувств. очень понравилось, некоторые письма сохранила <3

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a wonderful book. It is a collection of lesbian love letters that range in time of mid 1800's to late 1990's. It goes to show lesbians have been here a long time.

[sage e · Rating 4 out of 5]

very cute archive of love letters- an evidence to know that we have always been here

[valentina · Rating 4 out of 5]

nothing more intense that lesbians writing letters to each other

[Jaden Poindexter · Rating 5 out of 5]

turned into a gift for my soulmate on our anniversary <3

[пташатко · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Oh if I should have to lose you! I feel such hate at the very thot that I could crush the earth and pull down the heavens and destroy the little and big Gods-- (I wonder what first barbaric lover felt thustly?)."

беручись за цю книжечку, я наївно очікувала на шось таке собі гарненьке зі жменькою поетично-романтичних рядків, а на ділі мене сердито жбурнуло до злободенної реальності. ця збірка стала для мене трошки більш personal, ніж мені б того хотілось, та зачепила трошки глибше, ніж я зазвичай дозволяю. це були справжні історії справжніх людей, а докупи з відлуннями мого власного досвіду і у змісті, і в оформленні, і в самій тематиці стосовно листування – і я вже не змогла вчасно відсторонитись, заховавши сердечко подалі.

у цій збірці були представлені поодинокі листи з середини 1800-х аж до кінця 1990-х, і всі вони були чимось на кшталт самотньої прогулянки присмерковим містом, коли ти мимоволі зазираєш до осель інших людей і стаєш невільною свідкою якихось вирваних з контексту подій – буденних чи більш значущих. тут були і зізнання в коханні, і нотатки з тужбою та бажанням побачитись чимскоріш, і усвідомлення страхів чи несумісності, і листи, які насправді писались самим собі, чи ті, які ніколи свою адресатку не побачать, і просто буденні замальовки, листівки чи роздуми.

чесно кажучи, якщо оцінювати книжку суто за змістом листів, то я б не поставила тут щось більше трійки з гачечком, але весь досвід загалом та те, що він сам по собі та для мене символізував? я була б лицеміркою. крім того деякі листи були написані справді гарно й чуттєво, а деякі - до того ж дуже креативно. мені страшенно прийшлось до душі оформлення цієї книжки та врешті й сама її задумка. це було так чудово й щемко та важливо---- досвід вийшлов в цілому справді чудовезний, albeit трошки болючим особисто для мене — я лишилась вдоволена, хоч і трошки змордована відчуттям гіркості й власної чужості.


"I wonder what you do these beautiful starry nights. I long for you, to sit with me and watch them— to see if they were sneering at our little day and helplessness— or whether in their impotent aloofness they do not long for even a little Human love. And would exchange all their calm bright coldness for one warm young kiss. . . .

Dear little wind-bell voice I pine to hear you. Good night, Loved So Well, I wish you were here tonight and every night to go to sleep on my arm."



"when I think of you and what is growing between us like marigolds or zinnias, fast and furious in bold colors springing up all over the place, between cracks in city sidewalks and beside front porch swings bringing something wonderful and beautiful to all of those who walk by or see or feel it, and it is good to see it pass along among friends who can recognize THE GOOD and feel it and it rubs off on them and courses thru their bones too, this wonderful wonderful love that had come like Venus up from the waters, cool and sweet it makes me want to take you now, right now in my arms and hold you and kiss you everywhere everywhere not missing a single spot"

[Kayley Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I wonder what you do these beautiful starry nights. I long for you, to sit with me and watch them — to see if they were sneering at our little day and helplessness — or whether in their impotent aloofness they do not long for even a little Human love. And would exchange all their calm bright coldness for one warm young kiss . . .”

Reading these letters felt like watching liberation break out on the page. As the decades passed, lovers boldly and blatantly proclaimed their passion for one another. It was interesting to see how language was used throughout time to express the same sentiments, but differently.

This was a lovely read, and made you ache for those early days of love.

[Clau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bueno una edición tan bonitiña que non fun capaz de poñerlle ningún marcador porque o libro é do 96 e non quería dañalo. A maioría son cartas de mulleres non famosas, pero tamén hai de Emily Dickinson e Virginia Woolf. Van desde finales do S. XIX a finales do S. XX, e ao final do libro ponche un pequeno contexto de cada carta e das autoras. Contentísima de ter unha edición tan mona <3

[Diana Kalaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

das coisas mais lindas que já li na vida

[Jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend lent me this & it means a lot to her, so I don't want to diss it too much. It made me feel *incredibly* fortunate for the (relative) freedom I have to love & lust after women...some of these letters were sad & painful to read. I thought the collage artwork that accompanied the text was really dated & a pretty cheesy, but the nostalgia of it made me feel more forgiving. It wasn't until about halfway through that I realised there was a sentence or two about the authors at the back of the book, something I wish could have been mentioned earlier, as I enjoyed this context. I would have liked more of a narrative, rather than just a collection of random letters, but that's not what this collection was about. A heartfelt endeavour. It also taught me that LGBTQ+ folks should consider donating their letters & papers to local & national archives. This is our history!

[Sarah Adler · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lovely, colourful collection of love, resentment, friendship, fondness, longing, lust, flirtation, desolation, need, poetry, and sometimes plain silliness, accompanied by equally colourful vintage-like collages. It's a very lovingly made book that gives a narrative of the blossoming, fading, and sustaining of romantic relationships between women. The letters don't tell stories: they are frozen in time, handpicked little moments that receive a small clarification in the appendix, which lists each respective couple and a brief synopsis of their history together. Just lovely, lovely, lovely, and historically important.

[Su]

"My task is to convert you and me into us. You are you. I want you to be separate so that I can feel the thrill of taking (you) over, composing you/me/mine/ours. For a moment I construct you/me: inseparable, just as I write the word 'us' or 'we' - a rewriting of you/me. A momentary substitution. The 'you' standing in for you is the machinery that makes these letters possible. Overdrive: overwrite. What is passion without the dream of a resistance, a difference even ever so slight, a distance to be bridged."
eros ♡

[Adeliana Staszewski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having read Love Letters of Great Men (quite a long time after first reading this) and then re reading this, I really can't stress just how under hyped this book is. The clandestine letters between women in love are beautiful, they are not always romantic in the obvious sense but the tension of forbidden love is palpable on every single page.
Just reminiscing about this book makes me want to find the box it is packed away in, take it out and read it again.

[Esmé J · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book in the 1$ bin at my local feminist book shop and definitely don't regret the purchase! There's romance, cheese, steamy fantasies, tenderness, and of course a lot of cringey metaphors for pussy. WLW are glorious and our everyday acts of love deserve to be celebrated just like this.

[Macel · Rating 5 out of 5]

It contains letters of lesbians to their partners or to the love of their lives, in the latter part of the 18th century to the 1990's.

[David King · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delicately illustrated and beautifully presented little hardback volume, crammed with every aspect of lesbian love, from the wildly poetical to the earthily sexual, as told through an eclectic collection of love letters from all over the world. At once erotic, moving and deeply inspiring, the collection explores the many facets of the love of women for women.

What stands out however is not so much the same-sex object of the love portrayed as the timeless power of love itself, entirely separate from any notion of gender. For sure, there is something unique and different about the love of one woman for another, but the universality of the sentiments expressed is striking. Love it seems is love, and this makes the book is an outsanding evocation of romantic love and desire relevant to everyone, regardless of sexuality.

From loneliness and distant longing to intimacy and burning desire, its all here, as is more than a dash of wit and sharp, feminine humour. This is an joyful, moving and life-affirming book that stirs the embers of the human soul.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt such delight reading the earliest letters in this collection. I knew I had a slight obsession for lesbian love dating back to the end of the 19th century and first half of 20th century. This book confirmed it. Their delicacy, sensuality, hesitancy, subtlety, tenderness make for a moving read. These archives are truly (relatable) treasures.
I now have high expectations on how sapphic love letters should be written and I’m not sure I can compete at this point.
The daring tone of the most recent letters was also pleasant to read for their questioning of hetero-normativity but also their occasional erotic content.
And last but not least, the collages… THE COLLAGES.
Bravo les saphiques.

[javaria · Rating 4 out of 5]

gretchen was really feeling it, eh?

[Cometg · Rating 5 out of 5]

incredibly beautiful i love lesbianism

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

let's go lesbians, let's go

[pldn&#x1f4ab; · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it without putting it down even once. Happy Valentine’s Day!