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Deadish #1

DEAD[ish]

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Linda's had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won't tell her what he did with her body, and she can't find the stupid thing herself. There's only one thing she can do - torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.

This is a very short work - novelette length - around 11000 words or 44 (print) pages.

Warning: Frequent foul language, mild sex scenes, and Australian spelling. Not suitable for children.

104 pages, ebook

First published June 30, 2009

511 people are currently reading
1545 people want to read

About the author

Naomi Kramer

32 books92 followers
I grew up in a little country town called Walla Walla. A tiny place - about 600 people and a Lutheran church that, ironically, could seat all of them. Walla Walla had one big thing going for it - a lack of FUN trouble to get into. So when I was a kid, I spent most of my leisure time reading. And writing. And imagining weird stuff. I come by that talent naturally, you know - my mother has a nutty imagination and a nuttier sense of humour.

I grew up, moved to the Big Smoke, made a few dumb mistakes, grew up some more, and eventually realised that I'd always wanted to be a writer. So I started writing again. I wrote, and wrote, and eventually DEAD(ish) turned up in my head, almost fully-fledged, and I decided that Linda, Mike and Trent might just make me famous. *snicker*

I live in Brisbane, Queensland. I spend my days freelancing, writing books, and reading other people's books.

I'm a sucker for Katharine Kerr's Deverry series, Anne McCaffrey's Pern books, and Mercedes Lackey's everything. Less book-related - I'm a vegetarian, fierce feminist, and liberal christian. I wear my hair kd-lang-short, but usually brightly coloured.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 558 reviews
Profile Image for Shovelmonkey1.
353 reviews967 followers
March 20, 2012
I got me a kindle. Oh yes.

Dbolden has already pointed out that they are the work of the devil. I am starting to think that there might be some truth in that already and it has only been four days since I burned all my books and armed myself with a Kindle and a utility belt replete with Kindle accessories; chargers, differently textured and self-illuminating covers, screen stickers... truly it is endless. Kidding. I have burned no books and no books were molested during the acquisition of my e-reader.

Dead(ish) was my first complete e-read and looking down the list it seems I am not alone in popping my Kindle-cherry on this one. Sloppy seconds e-reader-style, how lovely. I chose this based on the title alone, figuring that I could download some free zombie action to read on the train. The obvious Kindle benefit is the lack of a cover thus not providing the world with a clear view of secret shame reading.

This wasn't a horrible read. But it was not the best of all reads either. To be honest, the blizzard of swears was what instantly turned me off. I work in a construction led environment and am no stranger to the multiple and many faceted expletive. I can extol, conjugate and commingle swear words into combinations, variations and exhortations that leave most 50 year old digger drivers weeping into their mugs of overly sweetened tea. But here, in this book, it all just seemed forced and unnecessary. Lack of further character development and background mean that we never get to understand why these characters all swear so much. Are they ex marine staff sergeants? Navy lifers? Ex dockers? Dunno. Not going to know either.

What you do know is that Linda is dead and she is surrounded by four useless men, three of whom contributed directly to her demise. Well them, a bottle of baby oil, some overly precipitous stilleto heels, a jealous lover and a bit of improbable afternoon delight with the neighbourly homosexuals, Geordie and Lazarus. Trent is the alleged non useless one who fulfils the dual role of PI and exorcist while doggedly searching for Linda's missing corpse. He is Whoopi Goldberg to Linda's Patrick Swayze. Is this book Ghost for Gen Y? Maybe. Cut out the swears and flesh out the living and the dead with a bit more of a back story and it would be heading in the right direction.

Profile Image for Allana Kephart.
Author 19 books95 followers
December 31, 2012


...wha...?

Okay. I recently got a Kindle and I've been downloading the free books like a mad-woman. Which is how I stumbled across this. DEAD(ish) got my attention because of the summary- which made me snicker and I thought it would be a funny murder-mystery from Linda's perspective.

I...was wrong.

Now, maybe I shouldn't talk about it, because I am such a picky person, but this book made zerooooooo sense to me. If I hadn't read the summary I would've had no idea what was going on. Mike is crude and the neighbors-whose-names-now-escape-me were such a BANG on the stereotype bell I found myself getting OFFENDED every other sentence...

Me:


I hate writing a poor review, but I just...I wanted to share my opinion on it, and I nailed it at the top of the review here. What in the hell is going on?



Just really not my kind of book. And I really don't feel a need to continue the series.. :S
Profile Image for M.N. Cox.
Author 2 books59 followers
November 17, 2021
Oh, wow. Oh, my. I read Dead[ish] on a long-distance train yesterday and became so engrossed that I suddenly thought I’d missed my stop. I flung myself onto the platform only to find the reality was I was half an hour early and had to re-board. I also laughed out loud (yes, literally) several times. I couldn’t help myself.

Dead[ish] is a weird book about a dead girl called Linda and her boyfriend—ex, I suppose—who was implicated in killing her. Linda ain’t happy and why would she be. The boyfriend’s a shithead and Linda’s pretty pissed off with him. She isn’t going to take not knowing what he did with her body lying down. Linda sets about to get her way, and it’s hilarious.

This book is blunt, contains some awful people, and doesn’t hold back on the swearing. But if you aren’t bothered by swearing it’s also a nicely written and original story - and funny, funny as hell. I loved it so much that I hope to move on to book #2 asap.
Profile Image for Becky.
1,662 reviews1,950 followers
March 5, 2013
Errr... Right. Where to even start?

I picked this up for free a while back for my Nook, because, come on - that cover is cute! I just now got around to reading it, though, and, well, it wasn't the best.

This whole story, novella, whatever, just felt unfinished. Starting from a whole chapter of Mike's monologue to someone about how his wife/girlfriend (I think gf, though) died, and then another chapter from Trent's perspective with his own monologue... and I started to wonder that each section would be that kind of story-progressing-dialogue-I-hate - only with a twist of not actually being dialogue at all, but just one person talking to themselves...

Oh yes, quite. I agree. Juvenile and awkward. Quite right.

(Yeah, like that.)

So then things move along, shifting around from perspective to perspective, and in the end I just found myself wondering what the actual story was. There were a lot of Things That Happened, but there seemed to be missing one of those plot thingies.

The Quick Rundown, and there will be spoilers: Mike's girlfriend/maybe-wife is dead and haunting him because she thinks he killed her. He claims it was an accident, and that they argued after she cheated on him with the flamboyantly-gay-no-only-mostly-gay neighbors, and he slapped her, she fell and hit her head and died. Only, there's no body. And the girlfriend/maybe-wife is haunting him until she gets it back. Only to find out that, uhh, it's not available. Because... Mike barbequed her and fed her to the very same flamboyantly-gay-no-only-mostly-gay neighbors she was supposed to have cheated on him with - or did he ask her to do it? Nobody seems to really know.

But, gaping plot-(haha what plot?)-holes... If Genius Mike claimed that the death was an accident, how, exactly, did he plan to make that stick when there's no body? Even if he wasn't being haunted and harassed by his murder victim? I mean, logistically, there's got to be blood evidence out the wazoo to have cut her up into cookable and eatable pieces. Hair, bones, bloody clothes... all things that would leave lots of mess and wouldn't have been served at the neighborhood cook-out.

But to add insult to injury and hobble this "story" a little more, Mike then goes ahead and tells the neighbors what they just ate, so that they'd have to, I dunno, cover for him. I dunno about you, but I don't get it.. It's not like they were in on the murder, so why tell them? Because he's clearly not the brightest bulb on the tree (one), and because Trent wouldn't have his deus ex machina drunken flamboyantly-gay-no-only-mostly-gay neighbor spill the beans and wrap up the story (two).

The characters were one dimensional, lifeless (ha-ha, see what I did there?), and moronic caricatures in the extreme.

Don't waste your time on this one. The only good thing I can say about it is that reading it on the smallest font size on my nook apparently counted as two pages each, so it was over really fast.

One star for my nook's awesomeness.
Profile Image for Carly.
302 reviews
June 21, 2019
I've had this book on my kindle probably since I got it. It was a semi-enjoyable evening's worth of reading, I guess. Honestly, this was…weird. I don't mean weird as a horrible thing, necessarily, just…weird. It was entertaining enough, I had a few chuckles, but it was kind of choppy and the jumpy POVs handing out little tidbits of info didn't help. The pacing was confusing, and the story itself…it was weird. All of it combined made it super weird. I have no other words.

Profile Image for VLynch.
257 reviews5 followers
October 12, 2010
I read this while recovering from the stomach flu, and let me tell you I felt awful. I needed something light and funny. This was just perfect. My husband was sleeping next to me while I was reading this book, and I have to tell you there were a few times I was laughing so much I was afraid I was going to wake him up. It's a short story but well worth it. It was a wonderful pick me up, and great belly laughs. I have never read a book by Naomi Kramer, but this book has made me a fan!
Profile Image for Yvensong.
914 reviews55 followers
December 23, 2011
I have a mixed reaction to this story. I think it would have been more intriguing if it had been fleshed out a little more, with some more clues leading to the revelation of what had happened to the ghost's body. The characters were interesting enough and the premise was fun, with a bit of humor thrown in. Sometimes, the abrupt leap from one character's narrative to another was distracting, and I believe if the story was longer that form would have worked a whole lot better.

I would enjoy seeing this story extended into a short novel, as this has lots of potential.

One warning, though, to other potential readers -- there is local slang and quite a bit of coarse language. If that offends you, stay away; but, if you enjoy a quirky, paranormal-type mystery, and are looking for a very quick read, give this a try.
Profile Image for Sophia Triad.
2,241 reviews3,766 followers
September 4, 2016
Linda is a ghost who wants revenge and her body back.
Mike is her boyfriend who killed her and now he is tortured by her ghost.
Geordie and Lazarus are their two hottie bisexual neighbours who seem to know a lot about what happened.
Trent is an exorcist and private investigator who talks to both Linda and Mike and is trying to understand what is going on, where is Linda body, what is the truth and not to be killed in the process.
It was not a bad read. It was short (I finished it in less than half an hour) and it is free. You may not like it -especially after the disgusting revelation in the end- but since it is short, you will probably finish it as I did.
Profile Image for Zep.
136 reviews
August 27, 2012
I really can't understand any rating above ... say a 2 for this book. this is the only 'thriller/horror/mystery' thing I've ever encountered where the answers provided in the story raise far more questions than were answered. *additional spoiler warning* for example:

where's her body?
a. oh, we ate it.
you ate it? her entire body? does this author have any notion at all
of how difficult such a thing is? what would they have done with organs? ate them too, I suppose? bones? washed it down with a healthy glass of blood, I guess?

why did mike murder her?
a. because she's rich. that must have been it. oh. did I forget to mention she's rich? yeah, I guess that was kinda forgotten till the very end. oh say. how many rich people do you know that just disappear and nobody looks for them. esp when the significant other (boyfriend, mind you, not an actual spouse with real legal claims to inheritance) try to collect their accounts. nah. that's not suspicious. at. all.

she's tormenting Mike in prison, occasionally 'pops' into or out of view for random people. wouldn't... someone ... ya know. notice or maybe wonder?
a. apparently not. in prison it's perfectly normal if you get smeared up with makeup, have random script drawn across your butt with implements you aren't provided in a locked cell and when you start screaming at things that other people can't see, it's all just chalked up to 'another day in da slammer'. people vanish and/or appear in front of everyone all the time, don't let anyone tell you differently.

This book is, quite frankly, something I'd expect out of a HS class. and not a very good class, mind you. DEAD(ish) is, at it's very best, a half ass attempt to try to make you want to read some more from this author at full price. If this is the best preview she can give me to her other works, I'm afraid I will have to pass.

This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Neil Schiller.
Author 5 books11 followers
May 13, 2011
I have real mixed feelings about this book. Where do I start? Ok, let's look at the positives. At the heart of DEAD(ish) is a great idea. It's quirky and it's different and it's quite original. I wasn't 100% convinced of the narrative twist where the ghost of Linda finds out what happened to her body, but I was convinced enough. It just about worked in an offbeat, Chuck Palahniuk kind of way. And it's fair to say that Naomi Kramer can write. She has a great style which flows well and has an edge to it. No typos, no awkward turns of phrase. Technically speaking it's written very well.

The big problem, though, is that this book to me doesn't work as a novelette. I don't have a problem with short work, but when something is this short I would expect it to cover only about a third of the narrative this one does, and to be a lot more densely written. What I mean is, DEAD(ish) covers a lot of ground. The framework is there not for a sixty or seventy page short but a fully formed two hundred page novel. Because it whipped through, because the chapters were so short, I was left feeling like this was an outline for a good book rather than being a good book. An early draft of something which, if worked on, could have been great.

Going back to Chuck Palahniuk (who Naomi Kramer reminds me of in some ways) - his novel Fight Club initially started out as a short story. DEAD(ish) reads as I would imagine that short story did: ie. really interesting, but in need of fleshing out. If Kramer had let some of the narrative ideas develop a bit more on the page, lengthened them out a bit, and if she had explored the characters a bit more, let their stream of consciousness build, this could have been really really good. As it is, I think it's just ok. I didn't waste the forty minutes it took me to read, but I came away a bit frustrated that it didn't match its potential.
Profile Image for Julianne Snow.
Author 39 books86 followers
January 10, 2012
Recently I picked up this little gem for free from Amazon. Here’s the synopsis exactly as I first read it…

Linda’s had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won’t tell her what he did with her body, and she can’t find the stupid thing herself. There’s only one thing she can do – torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.

So you can see why I was intrigued!

Normally I don’t review shorts (the story is only in the area of about 11,000 words). Heck, I haven’t reviewed anything in quite some time. As 2012 dawns on us, I’ve decided that it’s about time that I share my thoughts about what I’ve been reading. And I read this, so it counts!

Ultimately I found the story that Kramer wove together quite delightful! Fascinating even. But not from a “this has never been done standpoint”. More of a “why the heck haven’t I thought of doing something like this yet!”. The manner in which Kramer pieced together the plot through the use of multiple points of view was fun and just quirky enough to keep me intrigued. And her descriptions of what Linda does to Mike are hilarious!

“I look like a smurf, a munchkin and an oompa loompa had an orgy and I was their love-child.”

To find out what else I wrote about Dead(ish) head on over to http://theflipsideofjulianne.wordpres... Thanks!!
Profile Image for Trisha.
434 reviews12 followers
March 19, 2011
The Professional Description
Linda’s had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won’t tell her what he did with her body and she can’t find the stupid thing herself. There’s only one thing she can do - torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.

A Bit of a Ramble
I read this quickly and probably a bit hazily on the plane ride back from Vegas. Five days of partying with minimal sleeping is probably not conducive to productive reading, but there you have it. As such, this is going to be a rather short review.

The story is short (a novella), has quirky characters, and contains more than a smattering of ADULT LANGUAGE. That's right; I'm busting out the all caps. They cuss like sailors in this one. The story flips back and forth between a few characters, and while this means minimal character depth, each character is unique enough to garner some interest and the switching pov isn't confusing. While I wouldn't lay down a lot of cash for it, if you are looking for a fast, irreverent read, you could definitely do worse than Dead(ish).
Profile Image for Brian Steele.
Author 40 books90 followers
December 11, 2011
To be blunt, Naomi Kramer's humor is not for those who may find their delicate sensibilities easily offended. There's sex, death, LOTS of swearing - and that's just in the first few pages. It's darkly delicious, meant for only those who truly appreciate a more brutal type of laughs. If one can imagine the depraved horror of Edward Lee crossed with the absurdity of Christopher Moore, you might end up with the sharp silliness presented by Kramer. Personally, I laughed out loud a handful of times, although I did find a few of the gags overused. Regardless, I feel Kramer will only grow as an author, her work promising to be a delightful display of gruesome giggles, and I'm quite pleased with this free introduction to her sideshow imagination.
Profile Image for Penelope Fletcher.
Author 27 books1,352 followers
December 13, 2010
Short, vulgar and funny as hell. This book's saving grace is how honest it is. Because at times my language is just as foul as Linda's. I started reading this, not taking it too seriously (the cover hinted at its quirkiness), and it didn't lie. I read it on my way into work. Don't take it too seriously and you'll have a blast.
Profile Image for Katherine.
953 reviews179 followers
November 4, 2019
The story starts off quite funny despite the seriousness of the situation. Linda, the lead character of the story is murdered by her awful boyfriend and therefore seeks revenge from him. She tried many obscure and hilarious pranks to fess him up about what actually happened on the night he killed her.

Her boyfriend, Mike is much more weird character who is telling the story with absolute resolution of explaining everything last detail. The plot progresses slowly but with enough curiosity for the reader to continue till the very end of the book.
Profile Image for Nathan.
80 reviews2 followers
March 1, 2011
Considering I got this for free, I can't say I paid too much for it, however the half hour it took to read could have been spent doing so many other things.

I was going to write horrible mean things because I felt it was appropriate since I only gave it one star, but it wasn't a complete and total waste of digital paper.

The story actually had a decent base. The murdered girlfriend haunting her murderous boyfriend trying to find her body. That's got funny potential. Private eyes and gay neighbors. Yep, ingredients of comedy. What? The gays are kind of straight and the straight guy is kind gay....ahhh right free book written by a girl with a Yaoi fetish who wants her boyfriend to be a little more open. That's cool. Not my thing, but hey, it's memorable.

So, why does the book get only one star? Every character was totally and entirely flat. And with all the comic gold potential the almost 100 page book barely got me to crack a smile. There was mystery with no clues or suspense. It was mystery which only ended when a character just told us the answer. Despite the potential of the story, Kramer failed to capitalize on it entirely.

The idea behind the book could be fun. Not five star amazing literature good, but a solid fun read. However, it was a bare bones story. It wasn't fleshed out. Even the planned parts lacked definition. The book needed more. More of each character, more character motivation, more plot, more description, and just more work.

This is the only one star book that I've ever read that hasn't entirely caused me to write an author off. Kramer's idea was good enough that I may look at some of her other books. As long as their very inexpensive and not ripped too hard on here, I may pick one up and hope she's learned some lessons as a writer.
Profile Image for Lila Lockhart.
Author 3 books52 followers
August 25, 2016
WARNING: This review is going to contain bitching. A lot of bitching. While I like to be fairly positive with my reviews, sadly folks, this is not going to be one of them. Sorry!

I was absolutely appalled by this book. I didn't have high expectations to being with, yet they still managed to be pulverized to a paste. Thank the heavens that this was a short and free book.

Never have I seen such a clusterfuck of morally deprived, uncultured and plain eye-roll-worthy characters in once place. They were a giant thorn that made this whole story hard to stomach.



So much irritated me about this book...
- Swearing overload. Swearing is often seen as 'cool', but come on, some moderation would be nice!
- 'Gay' men who aren't really gay
- A ghost girl who pulls a bunch of ridiculously immature pranks on her murderer instead of seeking any kind of justice
- Choppy cuts between scenes
- No character depth whatsoever
- Weak humour, at best (I'm sure it would amuse some peoples tastes but not mine)
- A killer whose head I'd rather not be in
- Characters who realize the murder has occurred but don't do anything until they find that others know they know
- A flimsy plot line. There were no substantial twists or clues to keep the reader guessing

It's only real saving grace was Trent, who wasn't such an awful character. He wasn't anything special, but hey, you appreciate something remotely worthwhile when surrounded by a whole bunch of filth.
Profile Image for Indigo.
165 reviews31 followers
March 9, 2011
In the urban fantasy/supernatural detective genre it is nice to see someone branching out a bit with feminist and GBLT issues.

DEAD(ish) is only 100 pages long, and it gives you the characters, sitch, plot, conflict, and resolution. But at onlt 100 pages, it gives them to you with very little else.

I would never have known Linda was a blonde if I hadn't seen the first dew pages of the next book.

I would've loved to know more about Trent and how Linda came to choose him. And while we do get told whodunnit, it is mainly by Mike, who we know lied, and by Linda, who knows Mike well enough to know he would lie.

For what little characterization there is, it's an abbreviated appearance. Mike is stupid, ill-tempered and domestically violent.

Linda is not as vapid as she pretended to be, but petty, petulant and somewhat justifiably vengeful.

Trent is surly, cranky and like mike, slightly misogynistic.

Laz and Geordie are the least characterized. Laz is the brains. Geordie the looks. Laz is the calm one while Geoordie appears to be the stereotype of the girlish gay man.

It is a quick, fun read but it had the potential to be a bit more meaty.
Profile Image for Marvin.
1,414 reviews5,409 followers
May 13, 2011
This is a short novelette and it was free so I can't complain too much about it. Cute idea but falters on the execution. Got quite a few laughs out of it but it still felt like a rough draft. Two mehs.
Profile Image for SpookySoto.
1,175 reviews137 followers
April 14, 2017
This book is supposed to be funny, but it's not.
I got it for free and only read it because of my reading challenge: "a book with bad reviews", and this had a lower rating in my TBR.
I don't recommend it
Profile Image for DoodlePanda.
305 reviews25 followers
May 8, 2018
The idea behind the books showed some promise, but I feel it didn't deliver.
I think that the characters weren't well constructed and there are some plot holes.
And a lot of swearing just thrown in everywhere. Now I have been known to use a swear word or two myself when the situation calls for it, but there is so much here it gets a little silly.

At least I got it for free on the Kindle :)
Profile Image for LG (A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions).
1,290 reviews25 followers
December 23, 2012
I downloaded this because the cute, visually appealing cover art led me to believe it would be a funny book in the same vein as Christopher Moore's A Dirty Job, or possibly even MaryJanice Davidson's Undead and Unwed or Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys. Yeah, I read a lot more into that cover image than I should have. It really is a nice-looking cover, though.

I'll get this next part out of the way quickly: If you're easily offended by swear words, don't even touch this. I think there are maybe 1-4 per page. Also, if the idea of gay sex, voyeurs, or a heterosexual couple trying to form a foursome with a gay couple offends you, don't touch this. I don't remember the book containing graphic descriptions of anything, though - in this area and in others, this book is more "tell" than "show."

Especially in the beginning, that was my primary problem - readers are told more than they're shown. The book starts off in the first person, from Mike's perspective, and it's quickly clear that, as awful as Linda's treatment of him is, he deserves it. Mike is not a pleasant person, and Kramer communicated that well.

What she didn't communicate quite so well was context. From the way characters spoke, I guessed the story was maybe set in England (Kramer is Australian, so Australia is more likely). There was very little sense of place - I could tell you what all the people were like (for the most part, horrible excuses for human beings), but I couldn't tell you a thing about Mike's place other than that apparently it gave him and Linda a good view of their gay neighbors having sex.

Another problem I had with the book was that the characters had a tendency to talk (or think) about talking to other characters, but they often weren't shown talking to the characters. There was so much of that in the beginning of the book that it started to feel a little claustrophobic. Then again, if Kramer hadn't done that, the entire story would have unraveled well before the 100-page point - the whole thing depended upon characters not revealing important facts, which wouldn't have been as easy to arrange if Kramer had stepped outside of their heads enough to show them actually talking to each other.

I also had suspension of disbelief problems. Even if I accepted that Trent had maybe dealt with ghosts before and therefore wouldn't see anything wrong with working for one, I found it hard to believe that he just said, "Ok, I'll find your body for you," without even trying to get context. He found out from Mike how Linda died, but he never bothered to ask Linda - you'd think Linda would be the first person he'd ask, and you'd think it'd be considered an important initial question. Later, when Trent talks to the gay neighbors and finds out they initially thought he was a hit man, you'd think that would have set alarm bells off in his head. If I had been him, I certainly would've wondered why they thought Mike might send a hit man after them. Trent does come to some conclusions at that point, but he would've had a much easier time if he had just talked to Linda when she first hired him. Linda didn't know everything about her death, but she knew enough to have cleared up quite a bit of confusion.

The final revelations about what happened to Linda's body were certainly a shock, at least to me. Mike's a bastard, but I hadn't expected quite that level of awfulness from him, and I'd argue that the gay neighbors are almost as bad. They didn't know what they'd done until Mike told them, but you'd think they could have shown some remorse and horror at their part in the whole thing. Any remorseful reactions they did manage to dredge up when they finally reported the whole thing to the police, well after they should have, just came across as fake.

Overall, I didn't enjoy this book. Its primary saving grace was that it was short, and its formatting was nice and easy on the eyes. I skimmed the excerpt for the next book in the series - it has Linda in it, which only increases my desire not to read it. Kramer's got another book out called Maisy May, but the description doesn't appeal to me enough to give her another shot.

I think Kramer might have intended Linda to be a character readers could feel sympathy for - Linda was one of those people who justifies her awful boyfriend's behavior by saying she's so in love with him, so she can't always see how awful Mike really is. While I agreed that Mike was awful, I didn't like Linda much either. You could say that, for me, Mike was the sludge on top of sludge, while Linda was an annoying buzzing fly.

(Original review, with read-alikes and watch-alikes, posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.)
Profile Image for Tara Lee.
137 reviews8 followers
March 23, 2013
I got this book, I believe, because it was free on Amazon and initially the premise was interesting. At first. The description for Dead(ish) by Naomi Kramer on Goodreads had a disclaimer that there was foul language but really... dropping the F-bomb 5 times on the first page and throwing in who knows how many other curse words is necessary?

Linda wants to find her body. So she's hired a PI to try and weasel out of her ex boyfriend where it is. How can a ghost hire a PI, you may ask. I don't know. And it isn't explained.

I understand that the story is only 45 pages long but the entire thing skipped back and forth between so many different perspectives and it just felt disjointed and forced. I don't have a problem with cursing in stories.... unfortunately I do it in real life. But honestly, where is the line drawn between cursing and completely taking away from the story itself?

It wasn't long enough to do the story it COULD have been any justice.

Trent was supposed to be a detective or a PI or something... but was completely clueless and had no idea what he was doing it seemed. He complained most of the time that Linda was getting on his nerves and he wished she'd go bother Mike... and then all of the sudden at the end of the story had some weird sympathy for her that came out of nowhere and made no sense.

Mike was a crude and vulgar jerk (maybe the only person in the entire story that was portrayed the way he should have been). He never showed any remorse or compassion or even disgust for the fact that he (spoiler alert) ATE HER. He was completely one dimensional but it didn't feel like that was done on purpose.

Geordi and Laz were their gay (but only most of the time) next door neighbors who liked to have "party time" outside where everyone could see. Their relationship and attitude seemed completely forced (like the story) and fake and I had a hard time believing any of the dialogue between the two of them, or them and anyone else. It just didn't seem like the way two people (gay or not) would actually speak.

I didn't like the story. I don't think that's a surprise or a big shocker. It made no sense. Nothing popped out at me to say "Look at that! Keep reading!" I was more reading just so I could get to the end and get it over with. Apparently there are more books that follow this, but I won't be reading them.

It's not a book I would recommend to anyone (especially anyone under the age of 18). The description is misleading in that it makes it wound like an interesting story to read. And it just isn't. Man I hate reading books I don't like. Bums me out.
Profile Image for Craig Hansen.
Author 15 books84 followers
October 7, 2010
After reading DEAD(ish), which I got for free thanks to an Amazon-initiated sale, I felt I should give Naomi something back, so here's a review. DEAD(ish) is a longish short story or maybe a shortish short novel. Whatever you want to call it, it piqued my curiosity with its concept: a dead girl bugging a private eye to find her body so she can rest in peace.

Somehow, Naomi Kramer managed to juggle five main characters and tell the story from (if I counted right) three narrative voices and yet never allowed the story to drag or the perspective switches to become confusing. As an American reader, there were some Aussie words that threw me just a bit, but not too much.

The narrative is focused and lean; there's no unnecessary description, nor are there reams of burdensome and irrelevant backstory. The tale just kicks off and doesn't let up until it's done.

The book's central mystery - locating Linda's body - unravels nicely but doesn't tip its hand too early. Some pleasantly-played-out twists keep one guessing until just the right moment.

One thing bothers me about DEAD(ish), though. That is the portrayal of a male homosexual couple who seem too open to the idea of including a woman in their bedroom activities. That seemed to stretch credibility a bit, but as a straight male, I'm no expert.

The story's definitely not for readers who are turned off by rough language or some mild sexual content (no worse than a Silhouette Romance, though, really). But if one possesses a dark sense of humor and wants a book that can eat up a couple-three hours some afternoon, DEAD(ish) is worth your time and your $0.99. I enjoyed the book enough, in fact, that even though I got DEAD(ish) free, I bought her other book, MAISY MAY, as soon as I finished DEAD(ish).
Profile Image for Literary Ames.
845 reviews403 followers
July 8, 2011
A quirky and humorous story that although may seem stupid to some, I found quite entertaining. The language, especially Mike's, had me thinking this was a short story set in Britain but was confused by the use of the $ sign. It's Australian.

Linda's methods of revenge as a ghost on her still living ex, whom she suspects killed her and has hidden her body, are ingenious and hilariously funny though as a person she's incredibly annoying, at least from Trent's, the paranormal private investigator she's hired to find her body, perspective.

*Warning: foul language and if you're squeamish there is .

Favourite Quotes

From Mike (Linda's ex) POV
#1
'My hair's blue, and my eyebrows are green, and my skin's orange. I look like a smurf, a munchkin and an oompa loompa had an orgy and I was their love-child. Shit.'


#2
'Cops.

Fuck.

They're looking shocked, which scares me a little.

I look down. Fly's unbuttoned, for a start. My dick's waving hello in the breeze.

"God, sorry!" I say, putting him away and straightening myself up. "Rough night. Um...can I help you?"

One of them tears his eyes away from my pants and looks at my face, trying not to look fascinated by the fact that I'm still bright orange, I guess. My fingernails are still pink, so I must look like a freakshow even with my clothes in order.'


*snickers*
Profile Image for Winona.
Author 2 books28 followers
January 3, 2012
"Dead(ish)" was the very first book I read on my Kindle device. It is a short and fairly fast paced read, so I finished it in less than one day.

I'll start by saying there is a lot of talent to be seen in this work.

Naomi Kramer did a fine job outlining a story here, but it does feel like its only an outline. It was good enough to keep me reading long enough to finish it instead of just moving on to my next title, but not quite good enough to make me want to immediately buy the next one.

The thing that bothered me most is that there was no character development. I didn't feel anything for Mike, Trent, Linda or any of the other characters.

Secondly, the back story was hardly there at all. I'm still not 100% sure exactly what happened to Linda, and even though I know why, it was a very weak plot point.

There is also quite a lot of cursing and sexual content. (Which is no bother to me, but possibly a turn off for other readers.)

Naomi Kramer has went on to publish 2 other ebooks in this series. Book Two is called (technically) DEAD and book Three is DEAD (as a doorpost).

I have not purchased either of the sequels yet, but have read some of the reviews. It seems the reviewers thing that the fleshing out of the characters has gotten much better in each consecutive book, so I make give the other two a chance, in time.
Profile Image for Amanda.
209 reviews2 followers
January 1, 2012
If I had known that 93% was technically 100% of this book I could have finished this last night. I should have stuck with it even though I was ready for bed. Either way I'm done and I'm so glad I didn't pay anything for this book. I don't think I've read a book that uses the "F" word as frequently as this book. And I know I've read alot of books that don't refrain from using it or other choice words.

Anyways the idea of the story isn't terrible but I didn't like any of the characters all that much. Everything happened really quickly which it had to since this was a short story. The humorous thing was that Linda the woman that is dead(ish) hung around looking for her body and she was constantly screwing around with her ex-boyfriend/murderer. She was not a great character but once in a while did something funny. Like choosing Mike's wardrobe for court. That was a nice touch.

I'm not going to recommend it to anyone because I'd rather save anyone from the trouble of reading it and dissatisfied as well. Although the book contains an excerpt from (technically)DEAD I will not read any further. I'm not interested in the series.
Profile Image for Selina.
74 reviews
May 21, 2013
Pretty funny story. A lot of swearing in it, I think you can read 'fuck' on every single page. Also 'arse' is really common. And it keeps jumping from one person and his situation to another on every half page. Since the point of view keeps jumping from one character to another, I didn't think that there was a real protagonist. So I couldn't really empathize with someone. (Which I think is important.) It makes the story chaotic and it kind of looks like a mess. So it's clearly not the best writing style. But I liked the storyline. That's why I've given it 3 stars. But if I would judge on the writing... I guess that I wouldn't even have given it 1 star.
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