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104 pages, ebook
First published June 30, 2009




'My hair's blue, and my eyebrows are green, and my skin's orange. I look like a smurf, a munchkin and an oompa loompa had an orgy and I was their love-child. Shit.'
'Cops.
Fuck.
They're looking shocked, which scares me a little.
I look down. Fly's unbuttoned, for a start. My dick's waving hello in the breeze.
"God, sorry!" I say, putting him away and straightening myself up. "Rough night. Um...can I help you?"
One of them tears his eyes away from my pants and looks at my face, trying not to look fascinated by the fact that I'm still bright orange, I guess. My fingernails are still pink, so I must look like a freakshow even with my clothes in order.'