The narrator, a film projectionist at a second-run cinema, finds herself at an existential crossroads. Driving the drama are her poet roommate Billie, her unconventional editor Claudia, and the unattainable object of everyone’s affection, artist Julia Riding. Enter the ghost of 15-year-old Madeline, a spirit which knows an unbearable secret and has an icy grip on our heroine's heart. One dark night, the narrator recounts Madeline's failed attempts at finding true love in a passionate, wickedly funny lament. On that night, in vibrant prose, Brenda Brooks reveals the secrets behind this unusual love story.
I'm still trying to digest this. One thing I will say, this is not "wickedly funny," "deliciously funny," or "brilliantly funny" as described all over the jacket. It is, however, poignant, sad, annoying, depressing, and good.
Gotta Find me an Angel is a story about love lost and possible healing. The narrator of the book, is a film projectionist in her thirties, whose childhood best friend and also first and only love, Madeline, has drowned at fourteen. The unnamed narrator lives with Billie, a wannabe poet, who introduces her to a painter, Julia, with whom they both fall in love. The narrator has lived most her life detached from other people and unable to love again. It is her relationship with Billie, and mostly her attraction to Julia, that are the catalysts for her finally having to deal with "twenty years' worth of pent-up grief and tears". Julia, by being able to make her feel things that she has been able to bury, unravels emotionally the narrator, who starts having panic attacks and to withdraw within herself again. One night she starts addressing Madeline inside her head, telling her what has happened in her life since she drowned, especially in the last year, when she met Billie and Julia, in order to try to finally get closure. The narration also allows us to understand what led to Madeline's drowning. Although the book's main theme is quite heavy, one of the great things about this book, besides the quality of the prose, is the self-deprecating and cynical humour of the narrator that permeates the whole story. I found myself laughing out loud at the description of Billie's attempts at learning to play the guitar and sing Aretha Franklin's Gotta Find me an Angel, or at her cynical look at intellectual lesbian writers such as Billie's rival, ffiona perks. There are some minor inconsistencies in the plot and I would probably have liked to know more about both Madeline and Julia, but overall this is a very good book.
It was dark but had some really poetic descriptions. It's an interesting book, and I enjoyed reading about the lesbian love story and personal struggle of the author.