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The Misunderstood God: The Lies Religion Tells About God
The Misunderstood God tells the truth about who the Creator is. This book analyzes what religion says about God's heart and personality and measures it up to what God calls Love. It simplifies a generation's tangled perceptions of God by taking a journey through the sixteen aspects of love described in one of the most well-known Bible passages in the 1 Corinthians 13, also known as "the love chapter." So many Christians have been bombarded with confusing teachings and doctrines that their understanding of God resembles a tightly tangled ball of Christmas tree lights. This book takes that twisted mess and replaces it with one soft, warm light of truth that anyone can God is love.
224 pages, Paperback
First published November 2, 2009
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May 5, 2012Before you read this. I AM BY NO MEANS TRYING TO INVALIDATE THIS BOOK. I love the message of Grace, in fact I wish there was more throughout this book. I guess you can call this suggestions.
I'm half-way through this book, not super fond of his writing style. He makes a lot of absolute statements as well as thoughtless connections that may be interpreted the wrong way. I get what he's trying to say though. But the problem is, I shouldn't have to try to deduce what he means because of his undeveloped writing. The danger is if or when things are interpreted the wrong way. For ex he writes "A true relationship with God is impossible unless we love people". I have a problem with this, I get that he's trying to make the point that loving people is important and God wants us to love people. But is it really IMPOSSIBLE to have a relationship with God if we don't love people? All things are possible through Him who gives me strength. Yes, it maybe difficult to love God if we don't exercise that love with his creation, but impossible? Also, what does that mean for people who have autism, who are asocial and cringe at any sort of human contact. Perhaps they don't have the cognitive capacity to love people. But I have read blogs by people who have Asperger's who love God so much because of the fact that he isn't people. He doesn't have the annoying tendecies that we as humans have. So I fully believe it is possible to have a relationship with God without having to love people, not that I'm advocating not loving people.
"Jesus told us that the way to love God is to love people". Jesus says in John 15 "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ". Yes, Love one another. However, it isn't stated that loving people is THE way to love God. Of course you can love God by loving others. But isn't it to remain in God's love first? "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you". Isn't it love God, then love people, and we love not by our own strength, but by God's? Perhaps he means ONE way to love God is to love people, not THE way. It's such a simple change, yet completely changes the interpretation.
It seems like he tries to force analogies. Some of then directly contradict what he says. He uses the analogy of how an artist covers his masterpiece before it is finished because it's still not perfect. Then he compares it to God saying, "God does not expose your sin, he covers it". But the whole message of grace is that he has forgotten it. "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." It is REMOVED, not covered. Covered suggests that its still there, but if it's still there, then what did Christ die for?? He continues to say "Do not fear that God will ever humiliate you in order to humble you or teach you a lesson. Exposing an unfinished person is rude. He is great at keeping things just between you and Him. You are His masterpiece, and He will protect you and cover you until you are complete" This points to God never condemning us. Ok GOOD. But here he suggests that we are incomplete. The next page he says, "Though you are a work in progress, He has already declared you completed!". Ok, then why did say that we are unfinished, then say we are complete. I understand his point that we are made complete through God's grace and what Christ did for us. However, according to his previous analogy, because we are complete, God will expose us? Take out the analogy.
It's little things like this that I have problems with. I wish he would directly talk about grace. It seems like with each chapter, he's saying what people believe about God, and then merely negating them without a much deeper approach. Don't get me wrong, there are some great things in this book. But it's almost if he's trying too hard by forcing God into his own analogies. I'm not bashing him, I just would like a more developed and thoughtful approach. But this is certainly a great starter book to share with people who have false perceptions of God.
I'm half-way through this book, not super fond of his writing style. He makes a lot of absolute statements as well as thoughtless connections that may be interpreted the wrong way. I get what he's trying to say though. But the problem is, I shouldn't have to try to deduce what he means because of his undeveloped writing. The danger is if or when things are interpreted the wrong way. For ex he writes "A true relationship with God is impossible unless we love people". I have a problem with this, I get that he's trying to make the point that loving people is important and God wants us to love people. But is it really IMPOSSIBLE to have a relationship with God if we don't love people? All things are possible through Him who gives me strength. Yes, it maybe difficult to love God if we don't exercise that love with his creation, but impossible? Also, what does that mean for people who have autism, who are asocial and cringe at any sort of human contact. Perhaps they don't have the cognitive capacity to love people. But I have read blogs by people who have Asperger's who love God so much because of the fact that he isn't people. He doesn't have the annoying tendecies that we as humans have. So I fully believe it is possible to have a relationship with God without having to love people, not that I'm advocating not loving people.
"Jesus told us that the way to love God is to love people". Jesus says in John 15 "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ". Yes, Love one another. However, it isn't stated that loving people is THE way to love God. Of course you can love God by loving others. But isn't it to remain in God's love first? "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you". Isn't it love God, then love people, and we love not by our own strength, but by God's? Perhaps he means ONE way to love God is to love people, not THE way. It's such a simple change, yet completely changes the interpretation.
It seems like he tries to force analogies. Some of then directly contradict what he says. He uses the analogy of how an artist covers his masterpiece before it is finished because it's still not perfect. Then he compares it to God saying, "God does not expose your sin, he covers it". But the whole message of grace is that he has forgotten it. "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." It is REMOVED, not covered. Covered suggests that its still there, but if it's still there, then what did Christ die for?? He continues to say "Do not fear that God will ever humiliate you in order to humble you or teach you a lesson. Exposing an unfinished person is rude. He is great at keeping things just between you and Him. You are His masterpiece, and He will protect you and cover you until you are complete" This points to God never condemning us. Ok GOOD. But here he suggests that we are incomplete. The next page he says, "Though you are a work in progress, He has already declared you completed!". Ok, then why did say that we are unfinished, then say we are complete. I understand his point that we are made complete through God's grace and what Christ did for us. However, according to his previous analogy, because we are complete, God will expose us? Take out the analogy.
It's little things like this that I have problems with. I wish he would directly talk about grace. It seems like with each chapter, he's saying what people believe about God, and then merely negating them without a much deeper approach. Don't get me wrong, there are some great things in this book. But it's almost if he's trying too hard by forcing God into his own analogies. I'm not bashing him, I just would like a more developed and thoughtful approach. But this is certainly a great starter book to share with people who have false perceptions of God.
August 28, 2012
This book takes some key phrases I hear in church and calls them "lies". The author explains how God is our Father and compares our relationship to Him with our relationship to our own children. He is very much of the opinion that certain aspects of church such as the tithe are Old Testament theology where as the New Testament covenant is based on the 1 Corinthians 13 idea of "God is Love". Thae author does not use a lot Bible verses to back up his explanations, and that made me uncomfortable. I'd love to have my pastor read it and give me his opinion on it:)
November 21, 2009
this is a fantastic book about the Love of God and the lies that religoin portrays. Darin gives real life examples from his life and from others to help you along in the book. Some of the lies told about God are:
He is the angry God, He is the jealous God, He is holding you accountable, God is watching you, always waiting for you to mess up.
This book is clear and easy to read and is a very good book to give someone hurt by religion
He is the angry God, He is the jealous God, He is holding you accountable, God is watching you, always waiting for you to mess up.
This book is clear and easy to read and is a very good book to give someone hurt by religion
September 26, 2011
I can empathize with the person who has grown up in the church, receiving a picture of God as a divine manipulator, angry, condemning, disinterested, etc.. For those who have, I HIGHLY recommend this book. However, this is not how I was raised, and after reading this book, I am SO GRATEFUL that I was raised under the arms of a loving God.
March 20, 2018
Incredibly good book. If you've grown up in church and have tried to navigate around the "rules" you think God is holding over your head, this book is an essential. So good, so freeing, so much truth.
April 12, 2010
This book was recommended to me by my father-in-law who says it has completely changed the way he looks at God and religion and how he, a pastor, preaches about both. He bought the book for me because he was curious what the "atheist's perspective" on it would be.
The book's basic premise is essentially that we should strip away everything else we've learned about God and what it means to be Christian and boil it down to one simple concept: "God is Love". When we look at Him through that perspective, all our in-fighting, all our feelings of guilt and unworthiness not to mention our need to judge and condemn others will cease to seem important as we simply focus on loving God the way He loved us.
And that's all well and good as a theory except for one glaring thing: HELL. Specifically, how can you say God is Love at His most basic essence, and then explain a place created by Him (or at the very least, allowed by Him to exist) where people, who He supposedly at one time loved, get burned and tortured and pretty much get the shit kicked out of them non-stop over the course of trillions upon trillions of years. This kind of love, to me, reeks of an abusive relationship where the husband promises to love, honor and cherish his wife... but if it doesn't work out or she strays in any way, he will fucking KILL HER. And I know this isn't a new or mind-blowing concept, but it's one that the author seems to take a keen interest in repeatedly NOT addressing, almost as if he's conspicuously avoiding the subject. Which tells me one of two things: either a) he too doesn't know how to reconcile eternal hellfire with a loving God or b) he doesn't believe that Hell actually exists but is too afraid to alienate his Christian reader base.
The thing is, I was right on board with a LOT of what the author was trying to convey. They were the kinds of things I was thinking myself regarding the Christian faith while I was still a part of it. Namely that too many of the faithful would rather spend their time focusing on and worrying about the negative aspects of God's character rather than simply rejoicing in the fact that He just wants to be our friend, Dad and confidant. Unfortunately when you balance this "truth" to the "truth" of the Bible, you really can't escape the fact that this is a conditional relationship and if you walk away from it (citing abuse, absence of affection or complete and total alienation) you are beyond screwed. I made notes about various things that struck me as I read, raising issue with many of the author's minor points, but in the end, most every comment I made came back to that one irreconcilable point: "That's all well and good, but what about Hell?"
All that said, I actually think this is an important book for Christians to read. Honestly, if more Christians adopted this "love as the basis for everything" concept, the religion as a whole would leave a lot less to be loathed. Loving others and just being secure in your own salvation without the need to scare others into the faith is exactly what a religion based on love should be anyway.
The book's basic premise is essentially that we should strip away everything else we've learned about God and what it means to be Christian and boil it down to one simple concept: "God is Love". When we look at Him through that perspective, all our in-fighting, all our feelings of guilt and unworthiness not to mention our need to judge and condemn others will cease to seem important as we simply focus on loving God the way He loved us.
And that's all well and good as a theory except for one glaring thing: HELL. Specifically, how can you say God is Love at His most basic essence, and then explain a place created by Him (or at the very least, allowed by Him to exist) where people, who He supposedly at one time loved, get burned and tortured and pretty much get the shit kicked out of them non-stop over the course of trillions upon trillions of years. This kind of love, to me, reeks of an abusive relationship where the husband promises to love, honor and cherish his wife... but if it doesn't work out or she strays in any way, he will fucking KILL HER. And I know this isn't a new or mind-blowing concept, but it's one that the author seems to take a keen interest in repeatedly NOT addressing, almost as if he's conspicuously avoiding the subject. Which tells me one of two things: either a) he too doesn't know how to reconcile eternal hellfire with a loving God or b) he doesn't believe that Hell actually exists but is too afraid to alienate his Christian reader base.
The thing is, I was right on board with a LOT of what the author was trying to convey. They were the kinds of things I was thinking myself regarding the Christian faith while I was still a part of it. Namely that too many of the faithful would rather spend their time focusing on and worrying about the negative aspects of God's character rather than simply rejoicing in the fact that He just wants to be our friend, Dad and confidant. Unfortunately when you balance this "truth" to the "truth" of the Bible, you really can't escape the fact that this is a conditional relationship and if you walk away from it (citing abuse, absence of affection or complete and total alienation) you are beyond screwed. I made notes about various things that struck me as I read, raising issue with many of the author's minor points, but in the end, most every comment I made came back to that one irreconcilable point: "That's all well and good, but what about Hell?"
All that said, I actually think this is an important book for Christians to read. Honestly, if more Christians adopted this "love as the basis for everything" concept, the religion as a whole would leave a lot less to be loathed. Loving others and just being secure in your own salvation without the need to scare others into the faith is exactly what a religion based on love should be anyway.
June 4, 2012
Rose and I read this together and loved it. It is a wonderful book to get you thinking if nothing else. A wonderful reminder that God IS love.
May 16, 2012
God's Word is More than Words. What Tone do you Hear in His Voice?
I'm going to disclose that I purchased this book fully expecting to be challenged by it because I've had an opportunity from a distance to get to know the author by participating on his web-site, listening to his podcasts and reading his blog. In addition, knowing this book was presented by Windblown Media, the publishers of The Shack, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore and He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection all books which have had a profound impact in my life, I fully expected that this would provide a similar challenge.
I was not disappointed.
This material represents something of a rewrite and editing of previous work by Hufford and while I have not read the previous material, I can't help but believe that the message has improved in strength and clarity for that.
Those who measure the value of a book by its adherance to familiar systematic theological patterns are likely not to appreciate this book. It doesn't conform to those patterns and indeed, as is the case with most material from Windblown Media, that is the point. The Misunderstood God plays strongly upon the theme that God is Love (period). The common themes within today's christian community that would add something to that statement (the yeah, ... buts) have contibuted to an image or picture of God that has people seeing God as something He is not. This is true of institutional religion that has added elements that seem designed to influence behavior and commitment based upon an appeal to fear, guilt or shame and has resulted in a representation of God that seems more akin to a schizophrenic deity or an alcoholic celestial father, when clearly the New Testament speaks repeatedly that God is Love.
Hufford dares to take the statement seriously and structures his book upon I Cor 13 by contrasting the popular images within today's performance based, behavioral modifying religious approaches and then dares to present God as the loving non-manipulative God that He in fact is. In doing so, Hufford draws from the simplicity of the images found in scripture and his own experiences. This simplistic approach flies in the face of those more "sophisticated" theologies that insist that God's love must be balanced by his justice, his wrath, his judgement etc. Hufford seems to be saying in fact, that these elements must be seen first and foremost through the prism of his love, and nothing else.
As I read the book, I could not help but draw my own analogy to today's examination of what the real components of communication are. Tone and body language in fact convey more of the total message in most communications than the words themselves. What Hufford is suggesting is that you cannot understand God if you "hear" or "apply" tones and motives to his words that are not there. If you see God as anything less, or anything more than love in essence and truly desirous of your best, then you have misunderstood God.
This book is worth the read and even those who may be predisposed against such a message for whatever reason I believe will find something within that will help to draw God into a sharper and more personal focus.
I purchased this book for reading on my Kindle and I found nothing in that medium that detracted from the reading experience.
5 stars.
bart breen
I'm going to disclose that I purchased this book fully expecting to be challenged by it because I've had an opportunity from a distance to get to know the author by participating on his web-site, listening to his podcasts and reading his blog. In addition, knowing this book was presented by Windblown Media, the publishers of The Shack, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore and He Loves Me! Learning to Live in the Father's Affection all books which have had a profound impact in my life, I fully expected that this would provide a similar challenge.
I was not disappointed.
This material represents something of a rewrite and editing of previous work by Hufford and while I have not read the previous material, I can't help but believe that the message has improved in strength and clarity for that.
Those who measure the value of a book by its adherance to familiar systematic theological patterns are likely not to appreciate this book. It doesn't conform to those patterns and indeed, as is the case with most material from Windblown Media, that is the point. The Misunderstood God plays strongly upon the theme that God is Love (period). The common themes within today's christian community that would add something to that statement (the yeah, ... buts) have contibuted to an image or picture of God that has people seeing God as something He is not. This is true of institutional religion that has added elements that seem designed to influence behavior and commitment based upon an appeal to fear, guilt or shame and has resulted in a representation of God that seems more akin to a schizophrenic deity or an alcoholic celestial father, when clearly the New Testament speaks repeatedly that God is Love.
Hufford dares to take the statement seriously and structures his book upon I Cor 13 by contrasting the popular images within today's performance based, behavioral modifying religious approaches and then dares to present God as the loving non-manipulative God that He in fact is. In doing so, Hufford draws from the simplicity of the images found in scripture and his own experiences. This simplistic approach flies in the face of those more "sophisticated" theologies that insist that God's love must be balanced by his justice, his wrath, his judgement etc. Hufford seems to be saying in fact, that these elements must be seen first and foremost through the prism of his love, and nothing else.
As I read the book, I could not help but draw my own analogy to today's examination of what the real components of communication are. Tone and body language in fact convey more of the total message in most communications than the words themselves. What Hufford is suggesting is that you cannot understand God if you "hear" or "apply" tones and motives to his words that are not there. If you see God as anything less, or anything more than love in essence and truly desirous of your best, then you have misunderstood God.
This book is worth the read and even those who may be predisposed against such a message for whatever reason I believe will find something within that will help to draw God into a sharper and more personal focus.
I purchased this book for reading on my Kindle and I found nothing in that medium that detracted from the reading experience.
5 stars.
bart breen
February 13, 2010
I received a comlimentary copy of this book from the publisher and Goodreads. Of course, I had to flip through it and check it out. Should it go to "the top" of my reading shelf, on my "to read" shelf or "when I get time" stack of books?
Out the door I went to an appointment, and as I turned to lock the door I grabbed the book and dropped into my bag. Normally, I dislike waiting, however I became so engrossed in this book that I forgot the time. I found myself thinking that if I would hurry I might finish another chapter before they called my name!
Mr. Hufford shares some touching stories in his life and he tells a certain truth about how religious principles have remained the same for centuries, but it is we,the people, who have lost sight to their value and meaning. Perhaps this is why a majority of Christians admit to being miserable and frustrated in their Christian lives.
It's a very good book and I'm passing it around to members of my church for them to read. We need God in these days and times more than ever.
Out the door I went to an appointment, and as I turned to lock the door I grabbed the book and dropped into my bag. Normally, I dislike waiting, however I became so engrossed in this book that I forgot the time. I found myself thinking that if I would hurry I might finish another chapter before they called my name!
Mr. Hufford shares some touching stories in his life and he tells a certain truth about how religious principles have remained the same for centuries, but it is we,the people, who have lost sight to their value and meaning. Perhaps this is why a majority of Christians admit to being miserable and frustrated in their Christian lives.
It's a very good book and I'm passing it around to members of my church for them to read. We need God in these days and times more than ever.
February 9, 2011
I cannot say enough good things about this book. If one allows it to speak to one's heart, what this book is saying, can lead you into magnificent places in your life. It can help you get on the path to knowing the heart of God.
For that is what this book is about, the heart of God. Darin has not written a book of theology or doctrine. He has not written us a method or formula for knowing the heart of God.
He has simply pulled back the curtain on religion and shown us the man manipulating the levers.
I highly recommend this book, and would hope that all my friends would buy a copy and read it.
For that is what this book is about, the heart of God. Darin has not written a book of theology or doctrine. He has not written us a method or formula for knowing the heart of God.
He has simply pulled back the curtain on religion and shown us the man manipulating the levers.
I highly recommend this book, and would hope that all my friends would buy a copy and read it.
June 5, 2010
When I recieved this book I was extremely excited to recieve it. As an agnostic, I am constantly looking for books that provide an impartial and academic view on religion and spirituality. This book simply was not what I was looking for. Darin Hufford is very one sided and portrays his beliefs as the obvious truth. An already established Christian would enjoy this book more than someone who is trying to find an objective view on god.
May 16, 2017
I didn't know how to rate this book because it as useful at the time, but now that I look back I don't like what it's saying. This book was my first step out of religion basically. I was super grateful for this book at the time.. but at the same time the author is basically just saying whatever he wants to make God seem however he wants. There is really no basis to what he is saying. It's cherry picking at its finest.
September 16, 2013
This is an amazing book that challenges some of the things that we grew up in the church hearing, and replaces those things with a God who loves us so deeply. Based on 1 Corinthians 13, Darin Hufford walks us through the qualities and characteristics of God to show us that we are in relationship with a loving God who wants His very best for us. I highly recommend this book!
June 22, 2020
One could argue that there are some decent theological points in this text. Unfortunately, however the author’s understanding of sociology and psychology- as evidenced in this book- is appalling. At first, it would seem that this author understands the plight of the abused partner. The abusive partner abuses me, he does all those things to me, but he loves me. This point draws you in. The author then begins speaking of counterfeit love, which he asserts is manipulation. The trouble is, the further you read into the text, the more you realize that you as the reader are being manipulated. I am not upset with this author for the usual reasons I have seen many reviewers state. I have read reviews which speak of cherry picking and no basis -nor even any inclusion- of scripture to back up the author’s claims. My disgust arises not so much in how the author views God, but in the ways the author claims to view- and judge- others. (The author claims that his love of people directly originates from his love of God, so the beliefs he carries about people would seem to be very telling.) The first judgment of others comes on page 49. The author makes the sweeping statement that women buy “enticing clothing” in order to “entice men.” (Don’t flatter yourself, pal! When I put on a pair of tight leggings, TRUST ME- it is because I enjoy how they look and feel- men never entered into the picture!) He asserts that the first thing a woman does in a clothing store is look at her cleavage and turn around to see how her butt looks in the mirror. Seriously?? You think women do this because they are after a man?? Maybe they simply want to know how a piece of clothing FITS?? This author believes himself to be non-judgmental and yet this is the first of several places in the book where his judgment is on full display. That paragraph alone made me want to quit reading! Hufford makes a good point that God is jealous on behalf of us, not in a selfish manner. Yet he then goes on to reveal a very jealous nature in his own recounted experiences. An example is jealousy as a child of his own brother, calling his brother’s hair cut “stupid” and “cocky.” On page 84 Hufford claims that hitting children is OK when they are young, but older children “deserve respect and honor.” And God sees us as “older kids.” By the time I reached chapter 10, I could barely read any further but I persevered. The author illustrates a point that love is not easily provoked by telling the tale of a poor, easily provoked dog- whom the author as a child-along with all his friends-would emotionally torment all day while the parents were gone… purposefully taking turns leaning back in a chair so the dog would try to attack. They would carry on doing this until the author’s parent’s came home, at which point the dog would be exhausted in another room and “cough like it was sick.” The author seemed to find this disturbing tale of abuse to be an amusing way to illustrate that love is not easily provoked- like that dog was. If that were not revolting enough, the author goes on to state that children who act up are in actuality trying to control their parents. This is utter non-sense. By page 109, he is back at it again with the women-bashing, stating that women in abusive relationships sometimes provoke the man to abuse her- and that her “false understanding” of love- not the man’s behavior!- causes them to be abused. I suppose this author is the kind of man who thinks women who are rape victims “were just asking for it??” I could not read any further. I cannot trust the spiritual wisdom of a man who thinks like this. The contents of these few paragraphs alone should be enormous red flags to any reader- Christian or non-Christian alike.
October 13, 2018
I have been familiar with the author, Darin Hufford, for years before I buckled down and got his book. Hufford is a former evangelical/Pentecostal pastor-turned (mostly) progressive Christian author, speaker, and podcast host on his website, Free Believers. I have appreciated listening to his podcast show and his interesting insights about living as God’s people and the importance of relating to God through the heart. I’ll also say I don’t agree with everything he says. I had been interested in his book for a long time, and now was the perfect time to read it. Overall, the book was very good.
The book uses as its framework the famous “love passage” in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It uses the attributes of love described in that passage and explains how they are both the essence of love and the essence of God. Topics include patience, kindness, jealousy, arrogance, pride, rudeness, selflessness, anger, forgiveness, delighting in evil, protection, trust, hope, and perseverance (you can probably judge which ones ARE of God and which ones ARE NOT!). The chapters begin by explaining how our modern culture, especially church culture, has often twisted the meaning of beautiful words/ideas to the complete opposite of what they really mean. It then goes on to describe God’s true attribute and urging us to have it for ourselves.
Hufford’s writing style is conversational and informal. Not everyone will like it. He relies heavily on stories and metaphors to illustrate his ideas. Specifically, he has a lot of experience with relationship counseling, and as such, the book commonly uses examples of romantic relationships to show where things go right or wrong and how. Given that I’ve never been in such relationships, I couldn’t personally relate to these examples, but it did teach me a thing or two about how these relationships work. Hufford frequently talks about his wife and five children, and his love for them truly exudes off the page. He drives the point home that love of God is experienced through love of others.
I enjoyed the earlier chapters, but I liked the later chapters best. The chapters on forgiveness, protection, and trust struck a cord with me, and provided me a different perspective on these concepts. He does a great job at describing what relationship with God should really look like, and assuring us that this isn’t just wishful thinking, but can be a reality. This book would be especially groundbreaking for those who come from the evangelical/Pentecostal tradition he does. I grew up in a more liberal Christian tradition, so I wasn’t raised with nearly the same negative thinking as some readers. Even for me, I was refreshed by what I read and his willingness to criticize the current Christian paradigm.
But it is not easy. Personally, I have a challenge with emotional connections. A relationship with God is not any easier than with a human—nay, it’s harder. I was sometimes put off by his centrality of love of God through relationships, especially the claim that love of God is impossible without this. It’s clearly what works best for him, and comes naturally to him, but others such as myself that might not be the main thing. His language is frequently hyperbolic to the degree that I think he could have been more careful in how he wrote a thing or two here and there. Like all books, he is only writing from his own perspective. I think he gets most of what he writes about the love of God right, and that’s my take-away from the book.
The book uses as its framework the famous “love passage” in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. It uses the attributes of love described in that passage and explains how they are both the essence of love and the essence of God. Topics include patience, kindness, jealousy, arrogance, pride, rudeness, selflessness, anger, forgiveness, delighting in evil, protection, trust, hope, and perseverance (you can probably judge which ones ARE of God and which ones ARE NOT!). The chapters begin by explaining how our modern culture, especially church culture, has often twisted the meaning of beautiful words/ideas to the complete opposite of what they really mean. It then goes on to describe God’s true attribute and urging us to have it for ourselves.
Hufford’s writing style is conversational and informal. Not everyone will like it. He relies heavily on stories and metaphors to illustrate his ideas. Specifically, he has a lot of experience with relationship counseling, and as such, the book commonly uses examples of romantic relationships to show where things go right or wrong and how. Given that I’ve never been in such relationships, I couldn’t personally relate to these examples, but it did teach me a thing or two about how these relationships work. Hufford frequently talks about his wife and five children, and his love for them truly exudes off the page. He drives the point home that love of God is experienced through love of others.
I enjoyed the earlier chapters, but I liked the later chapters best. The chapters on forgiveness, protection, and trust struck a cord with me, and provided me a different perspective on these concepts. He does a great job at describing what relationship with God should really look like, and assuring us that this isn’t just wishful thinking, but can be a reality. This book would be especially groundbreaking for those who come from the evangelical/Pentecostal tradition he does. I grew up in a more liberal Christian tradition, so I wasn’t raised with nearly the same negative thinking as some readers. Even for me, I was refreshed by what I read and his willingness to criticize the current Christian paradigm.
But it is not easy. Personally, I have a challenge with emotional connections. A relationship with God is not any easier than with a human—nay, it’s harder. I was sometimes put off by his centrality of love of God through relationships, especially the claim that love of God is impossible without this. It’s clearly what works best for him, and comes naturally to him, but others such as myself that might not be the main thing. His language is frequently hyperbolic to the degree that I think he could have been more careful in how he wrote a thing or two here and there. Like all books, he is only writing from his own perspective. I think he gets most of what he writes about the love of God right, and that’s my take-away from the book.
December 2, 2023
I was frustrated reading this book. My main complaint is around the style of writing, I think. I continued reading only because my small group was reading it together.
The first half of every chapter covers what the author claims are lies told about God in present day churches. There are a lot of absolute statements. The problem with this is I didn’t experience what the author experienced, and it felt somewhat like gaslighting - this is how it is and if you disagree you were/are deceived.
On a positive note, I almost always agreed with what he claims is the truth about God. I only wish he would’ve provided more scripture to support his claims.
If you happened to experience the same religious indoctrination and trauma as the author, this book will probably be life-changing for you. For me, however, it was tiresome and unenlightening. I’m thankful I didn’t experience what the author did and am so very grateful he has found the truth about God. I wish him the very best and hope his book reaches those who need it.
The first half of every chapter covers what the author claims are lies told about God in present day churches. There are a lot of absolute statements. The problem with this is I didn’t experience what the author experienced, and it felt somewhat like gaslighting - this is how it is and if you disagree you were/are deceived.
On a positive note, I almost always agreed with what he claims is the truth about God. I only wish he would’ve provided more scripture to support his claims.
If you happened to experience the same religious indoctrination and trauma as the author, this book will probably be life-changing for you. For me, however, it was tiresome and unenlightening. I’m thankful I didn’t experience what the author did and am so very grateful he has found the truth about God. I wish him the very best and hope his book reaches those who need it.
June 5, 2017
"The Misunderstood God: The Lies Religion Tells About God" by Darin Hufford is a self-explanatory title. Is God really the Hair-Trigger, Divine Manipulator, Jealous, Rock-Star, Proud, Offensive, Needy, Angry, Great List-Keeper, Terrible, Condemning, Distant, Untrustworthy, Disappointed, or
Disinterested God we have been led to believe? I know I've believed a good many of these lies throughout my Christian walk, but it's largely the result of misunderstanding the nature of Love and sometimes forgetting that, as a Christian, I have an Adversary and he wants to destroy my beliefs about God and His goodness.
Despite some gross generalisations and Hufford's tendency to heap most of the blame on the Church (I think our own fallen natures are equally to blame) he does a good job of exploring each of these lies in detail and then presenting a biblical picture of a loving, but just, Father. Recommended.
7.5/10
Disinterested God we have been led to believe? I know I've believed a good many of these lies throughout my Christian walk, but it's largely the result of misunderstanding the nature of Love and sometimes forgetting that, as a Christian, I have an Adversary and he wants to destroy my beliefs about God and His goodness.
Despite some gross generalisations and Hufford's tendency to heap most of the blame on the Church (I think our own fallen natures are equally to blame) he does a good job of exploring each of these lies in detail and then presenting a biblical picture of a loving, but just, Father. Recommended.
7.5/10
April 4, 2018
I wish I could give this book more than five stars - it is stellar!
I had "aha" moments almost every page. I considered highlighting the good parts, but the entire book would yellow.
It too
Being raised in the Assembly of God church, I had a very warped, twisted, just plain wrong idea of who God was and what he wanted for me. From all humanity. Over the years I have learned one or two of the truths the Darin Hufford has laid out in his book. I took my time reading this because I wanted to digest a chapter, paragraph or sentence before I moved on.
I have since ordered three more copies to share with friends. I could share my copy, but I know I will be coming back to it again for a refresher course.
I had "aha" moments almost every page. I considered highlighting the good parts, but the entire book would yellow.
It too
Being raised in the Assembly of God church, I had a very warped, twisted, just plain wrong idea of who God was and what he wanted for me. From all humanity. Over the years I have learned one or two of the truths the Darin Hufford has laid out in his book. I took my time reading this because I wanted to digest a chapter, paragraph or sentence before I moved on.
I have since ordered three more copies to share with friends. I could share my copy, but I know I will be coming back to it again for a refresher course.
April 18, 2023
Really wanted to like this book but the book makes a lot of bold claims (i.e God’s kingdom is for us, not Him, we should receive glory when people compliment us vs reflecting back to God, we shouldn’t pray and include God’s words and promises back to Him, etc) with zero Bible references to back up his points.
He vaguely refers to some scriptures or Bible references that try to drive his revolutionary points home but it’s contradictory or what the Word says about God’s character. I can appreciate the references and examples he makes as a father and trying to get us to see how God relates to us, but without scripture to back it up, especially when he tries to address some things that people have believed for so long, it truly does fall short
He vaguely refers to some scriptures or Bible references that try to drive his revolutionary points home but it’s contradictory or what the Word says about God’s character. I can appreciate the references and examples he makes as a father and trying to get us to see how God relates to us, but without scripture to back it up, especially when he tries to address some things that people have believed for so long, it truly does fall short
December 13, 2017
Amazing insight and love the honest approach to damage of religious ideology.
October 11, 2019
Really opens your eyes to the freedom we have through Christ and the love God has for us.
September 7, 2021
Very helpful book for someone who is frustrated with God and what seems as hypocrisy in Christianity.
March 11, 2022
Several profound arguments almost lost in a repetitive exercise of redefining words. The message would have been more effective as a 50-page pamphlet instead of a 200-page book.
April 9, 2022
I enjoyed this book very much. I would have liked more biblical references for each chapter though.
July 26, 2024
Absolutely wonderful book. For the first time in years and years I feel God's love again. The church and my fellow believers don't realize how judged they can make one feel.
January 9, 2024
fresh look at God’s love
Darin gives some great stories of how we as the body of Christ have missed the beauty of Grace. “Saved by Grace but working to earn it!”
Darin gives some great stories of how we as the body of Christ have missed the beauty of Grace. “Saved by Grace but working to earn it!”
August 19, 2014
Overall a good read, but I am rating this book at three stars for the following reasons:
1) I wasn't "surprised" by most of what Hufford had to say in regards to our false ideas about God, ideas that Hufford calls "lies". But I personally have also spent a good deal of time reflecting on our (my) misrepresentations of who God really is, so in many ways Hufford was just reflecting some of my own thoughts. I don't mean that to sound arrogant... just that this book would likely be more appreciated by others than myself. In a less distinguished way (easy to read, modern language), this book reminded me of A. W. Tozer's "The Knowledge of the Holy".
2) I felt that Hufford over-used "absolute statements". For example, Hufford states: "Our problem today is that we subscribe to a theology we can't trust as far as we can throw it." Not that I disagree with this statement in a general sense, but I felt that he made quite a few generalizations that I would argue weren't completely fair. And it would be one thing if it just happened once or twice... but his style of writing makes frequent use of these kinds of over-arching bold statements.
3) A understand that Hufford was basing his chapters on the 1 Corinthians 13 passage, but I felt in doing so, the book was needlessly drawn out and a little wordy. For instance, the chapters on boasting and pride could have easily been condensed into one. But that is only my humble opinion.
If you have never thought much before about God outside of your own box of understanding or what you were brought up to understand, this might be just the book of you to jog your mind to the amazing majesty of our relationship-seeking God!
1) I wasn't "surprised" by most of what Hufford had to say in regards to our false ideas about God, ideas that Hufford calls "lies". But I personally have also spent a good deal of time reflecting on our (my) misrepresentations of who God really is, so in many ways Hufford was just reflecting some of my own thoughts. I don't mean that to sound arrogant... just that this book would likely be more appreciated by others than myself. In a less distinguished way (easy to read, modern language), this book reminded me of A. W. Tozer's "The Knowledge of the Holy".
2) I felt that Hufford over-used "absolute statements". For example, Hufford states: "Our problem today is that we subscribe to a theology we can't trust as far as we can throw it." Not that I disagree with this statement in a general sense, but I felt that he made quite a few generalizations that I would argue weren't completely fair. And it would be one thing if it just happened once or twice... but his style of writing makes frequent use of these kinds of over-arching bold statements.
3) A understand that Hufford was basing his chapters on the 1 Corinthians 13 passage, but I felt in doing so, the book was needlessly drawn out and a little wordy. For instance, the chapters on boasting and pride could have easily been condensed into one. But that is only my humble opinion.
If you have never thought much before about God outside of your own box of understanding or what you were brought up to understand, this might be just the book of you to jog your mind to the amazing majesty of our relationship-seeking God!
December 29, 2010
In "The Misunderstood God", Darin Hufford addresses (what he sees as) common misunderstandings God from the perspective of a former "pastor" and one who was highly invested in institutionalized Christianity.
Hufford explains in part why he rejected his former spiritual path within Christianity, in pursuit of connection with God and consequently, -with people. He does not specifically name a denomination; but the universal issues he raises appear to pertain particularly to evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity.
In my own interpretation of this book, he argues that we are to others what we understand God to be. And a misunderstanding of God is what drives the dysfunctionality and madness masquerading as "God". The people who are most unaware of it, are those "drinking the kool-aid".
But Hufford is obviously done "drinking the kool-aid", and while he still apparently considers himself a Christian, is somewhere on the fringes of institutionalized Christianity and a Christ-centered, post-Christian perspective.
Hufford presents an understanding of God that is relational and virtually interchangable with the energy of love. The book is an easy read. He does not quote the bible as if citing legal cases to win over pharisees, or to ward off vampires. He does not ask you to "give your life to God", but rather, that God has given your life to be lived to the fullest.
Refreshing. I have highlights on most of the pages. And I give it five stars.
Hufford explains in part why he rejected his former spiritual path within Christianity, in pursuit of connection with God and consequently, -with people. He does not specifically name a denomination; but the universal issues he raises appear to pertain particularly to evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity.
In my own interpretation of this book, he argues that we are to others what we understand God to be. And a misunderstanding of God is what drives the dysfunctionality and madness masquerading as "God". The people who are most unaware of it, are those "drinking the kool-aid".
But Hufford is obviously done "drinking the kool-aid", and while he still apparently considers himself a Christian, is somewhere on the fringes of institutionalized Christianity and a Christ-centered, post-Christian perspective.
Hufford presents an understanding of God that is relational and virtually interchangable with the energy of love. The book is an easy read. He does not quote the bible as if citing legal cases to win over pharisees, or to ward off vampires. He does not ask you to "give your life to God", but rather, that God has given your life to be lived to the fullest.
Refreshing. I have highlights on most of the pages. And I give it five stars.
December 29, 2010
In "The Misunderstood God", Darin Hufford addresses (what he sees as) common misunderstandings God from the perspective of a former "pastor" and one who was highly invested in institutionalized Christianity.
Hufford explains in part why he rejected his former spiritual path within Christianity, in pursuit of connection with God and consequently, -with people. He does not specifically name a denomination; but the universal issues he raises appear to pertain particularly to evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity.
In my own interpretation of this book, he argues that we are to others what we understand God to be. And a misunderstanding of God is what drives the dysfunctionality and madness masquerading as "God". The people who are most unaware of it, are those "drinking the kool-aid".
But Hufford is obviously done "drinking the kool-aid", and while he still apparently considers himself a Christian, is somewhere on the fringes of institutionalized Christianity and a Christ-centered, post-Christian perspective.
Hufford presents an understanding of God that is relational and virtually interchangable with the energy of love. The book is an easy read. He does not quote the bible as if citing legal cases to win over pharisees, or to ward off vampires. He does not ask you to "give your life to God", but rather, that God has given your life to be lived to the fullest.
Refreshing. I have highlights on most of the pages. And I give it five stars.
Hufford explains in part why he rejected his former spiritual path within Christianity, in pursuit of connection with God and consequently, -with people. He does not specifically name a denomination; but the universal issues he raises appear to pertain particularly to evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity.
In my own interpretation of this book, he argues that we are to others what we understand God to be. And a misunderstanding of God is what drives the dysfunctionality and madness masquerading as "God". The people who are most unaware of it, are those "drinking the kool-aid".
But Hufford is obviously done "drinking the kool-aid", and while he still apparently considers himself a Christian, is somewhere on the fringes of institutionalized Christianity and a Christ-centered, post-Christian perspective.
Hufford presents an understanding of God that is relational and virtually interchangable with the energy of love. The book is an easy read. He does not quote the bible as if citing legal cases to win over pharisees, or to ward off vampires. He does not ask you to "give your life to God", but rather, that God has given your life to be lived to the fullest.
Refreshing. I have highlights on most of the pages. And I give it five stars.
March 4, 2010
This is an amazing book. Taking the famous passage about love in I Cornithians, the author looks at one facet at a time. Since God is love, and love is defined as patient, kind, and so on, he explains what these terms mean. He also points out how most of the world - including much of the church - has twisted the meanings of the words so that we tend to see God as anything but loving.
There are several anecdotes which made it more interesting; the writing is clear and enjoyable to read. I was glad, too, that no one denomination was criticised; what the author says about organised Christianity obviously doesn't all apply everywhere, but I could certainly recognise much of what he claims as anti-God teachings. There were one or two places where I was a little startled by the theology, which appeared to ignore some important parts of Scripture; however, no book can cover everything, and I found that the vast majority of the message resonated strongly.
Highly recommended... to anyone within or outside the church, whether a Christian believer, or an atheist, or anything in between. For those who have rejected or ignored the church, this would at least let you know in positive terms who God is.
There are several anecdotes which made it more interesting; the writing is clear and enjoyable to read. I was glad, too, that no one denomination was criticised; what the author says about organised Christianity obviously doesn't all apply everywhere, but I could certainly recognise much of what he claims as anti-God teachings. There were one or two places where I was a little startled by the theology, which appeared to ignore some important parts of Scripture; however, no book can cover everything, and I found that the vast majority of the message resonated strongly.
Highly recommended... to anyone within or outside the church, whether a Christian believer, or an atheist, or anything in between. For those who have rejected or ignored the church, this would at least let you know in positive terms who God is.
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