Like Gossip Girl and all the adventures-of-the-rich-and-famous books that came before it, The A-List is the novel equivalent of the celebrity drama rags you poke through while waiting in line at the supermarket. It bombards you with perfect-looking people, expensive fashion and elite locales, but you don’t really give a damn about any of it because in the end, nothing actually happens. Couples hook up and break up, girls have petty catfights��sure, it’s superficially entertaining, but there was no depth or interest to pull me in and keep me reading.
The characters, first off, are flat as cardboard and only marginally more intriguing. Miss Anna (Perfect) Percy is described as being thin, blonde-haired, and good at every damn thing she puts her mind to. We’re hit over the head repeatedly with how intelligent she is, but I read the book cover-to-cover and didn’t catch the slightest whiff of brilliance. But she’s going to Yale! She likes Emily Dickinson and Anais Nin! (And can I add – just because you like classic literature and music doesn’t mean you’re cultured or a genius. I know incredibly smart individuals who enjoy watching Disney movies and reading Harry Potter when they’re not studying.) She even uses “big words”! My eyes almost rolled themselves right out of my head during the scene in which Anna used the world “palpable” and Ben nearly peed himself with excitement over how intelligent she sounded. Yep. If he thinks that passes for brains, the Princeton girls he hangs with must be dumb as rocks.
According to Anna, however, all this perfection just isn’t cutting it. She’s tired of being a well-bred princess living in a fancy upper East side apartment in NYC, because having an eight-digit trust fund and all the jewelry and clothes you could ever ask for is just so…dull. She needs an adventure, and thus, she hops on a plane to good ol’ Beverly Hills. We meet a whole new cast of characters, including the bratty-but-secretly-sweet Sam Sharpe and the hell-spawn Cammie Sheppard. Sam is, well, plump – and no, I’m not being judgmental here. Bless the author for actually including a girl with normal body proportions! I’m only mentioning it because it completely defines her character. Not a scene goes by in which Sam doesn’t buy bigger clothes than the other girls or moan about her hips/butt/stomach/you name it. Cammie’s on the other end of the spectrum, a girl so blindingly gorgeous that chapels have been built for men to worship the ground she walks upon (I exaggerate, but not much). We hear a lot about her enormous breasts and her luscious, curvy body…and then in the next scene, she’s buying tiny dresses and size-zero clothing. Honey – if your implants and hips are that shapely, you’re not going to fit into tiny tees and jeans. I know, everyone in this story is perfect (sorry, chubby Sam – you got the short end of the stick, didn’t you?) but you can’t have it both ways.
The rest of the book is boyfriend drama and bitching galore. Don’t forget the excessive and mind-numbing brand name dropping, which made me feel like I was reading the first fifty ad pages of Vanity Fair. I’m sure some people love to read about the pair of Joe’s jeans that Sam squeezed into or the Hermes handbag that Cynthia peed on, but I honestly couldn’t care less about Anna’s Chanel flats, the Kohler toilet seat that Cammie sat on, or the Charmin Ultra-Soft that she used to wipe her perfect ass afterward.
Did the book have some good moments? Yes. As nasty as Cammie is, her backstabbing was so dramatic as to be hilarious at times. The family scenes were real and emotional as well, such as between Anna and her father or Cammie and her late mother. Unfortunately, so much of it was lost among the overwhelming blandness of the characters and the “troubles” they suffered. I regret that so much of the story was told through angelic, flawless Anna’s eyes – it would have been interesting to hear things from a more genuine, three-dimentional character. Anna never really had anything at stake; she never truly suffered or had anything to lose.
I don’t think I plan on reading the other books. I suspect it’ll be like Gossip Girl – the same characters thrown into the same situations, with the couples being occasionally swapped around to keep things from getting boring, although little is actually resolved. If you’re looking for something silly to read (the literary equivalent of potato chips), this is a mildly entertaining book. But if you’re looking for depth and plot and characters you actually care about, I’d start looking elsewhere.