The Privilege of Being a Woman

by Alice von Hildebrand

Women historically have been denigrated as lower than men or viewed as privileged. Dr. Alice von Hildebrand characterizes the difference between such views as based on whether man's vision is secularistic or steeped in the supernatural. She shows that feminism's attempts to gain equality with men by imitation of men is unnatural, foolish, destructive, and self-defeating.  The Blessed Mother's role in the Incarnation points to the true privilege of being a woman. Both virginity and maternity meet in Mary who exhibits the feminine gifts of purity, receptivity to God's word, and life-giving nurturance at their highest.

Genres: Catholic, Religion, Nonfiction, Theology, Christian, Faith, Philosophy

118 pages, Paperback

First published March 21, 2002

About the author

Alice von Hildebrand DCSG (born Alice Jourdain; 11 March 1923 in Brussels, Belgium) was a Catholic philosopher, theologian, and professor.

She came to the U.S. in 1940 and began teaching at Hunter College in New York City in 1947. She earned a doctorate from Fordham University in 1949. In 1959 she married the philosopher and theologian Dietrich von Hildebrand (1889–1977). She retired in 1984.

Alice von Hildebrand lived in the United States and was a lecturer and author whose works include: The Privilege of Being a Woman (2002) and The Soul of a Lion: The Life of Dietrich von Hildebrand (2000), a biography of her husband. In 2014, she published her autobiography, Memoirs of a Happy Failure, about her escape from Nazi Europe and her teaching career at Hunter College.

Reviews

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Take care before reading this, any of my liberal friends/relatives - it is very conservative - just remember I am a strong woman and feel equal in our society, because of what I bring to it. I am not trying to say that their isn't injustice or discrimination in the world, just that we should be careful how we 'generalize" anything...

This book was given to me by my CBS teacher, they are considering it for a school-wide read at her all-girl Catholic school.

I was very intrigued by the book and read it with the precept of trying to imagine young women reading it. The premise was wonderful and the subject matter well presented, but I think too scholarly for high-school aged girls. Now, that being said, what this book reviews should be taught to girls ages 13-18, no question. If it was to be approached in a school setting, I would suggest a chapter a month and structured discussion time to reveal the real impact in a group setting it could be very beneficial.

The author does a good job drawing the reader in. Particularly, those of us who view ourselves as strong, well read women, by addressing feminist interests that we are often encouraged to agree with. She uses sensational and dramatic quotes from the feminists and then counters with wonderfully put together church doctrine (not sure if that is the right word).

Her analysis of the feminist movement is exceptional, particularly in how it attempts to 'de-womanize' us.

One great early quote is "In the end, unwarranted generalizations are typical of shallow minds" made me say "ha!" outloud. It was great. The feminist 'aim is supposedly to be achieved by competing with men in the work force, instead of being exiled in the kirche, kueche, and Kinder (church, kitchen and children), According to de Bouvier, liberation from the menial tasks of the home is the great noble achievement"... but the result is women 'are tortured now by the absurd modern attempt to make them domestic empresses AND competitive workers at the same time." - my notes in the margin were "isn't faith, sustenance and future what Church, kitchen and children really refer to?" what nobler task could we really have? - and I loved this:

"Unwittingly, the feminists acknowledge the superiority of the male sex by wishing to become like men. They foolishly want to alter inequality rather than to achieve truth of justice. Femininity is a a linchpin of human life; once it is uprooted, the consequences are disastrous. In fact, experience proves that feminism benefits men and harms women."

The word 'supernatural' almost needs to be defined at the outset, because otherwise those of the younger generations will just imagine magic or other cultural definitions. I did not feel I was well read enough even for this work, but her sources helped. She has well-placed sarcasm that helps to keep us connected to her points.

I felt at times, with the early chapters her progress towards her point was good, but that she didn't 'hit it home' so to say, sometimes losing the impact she had built up by how she wrapped up the chapter.

I absolutely loved chapter 5's concept of the transfiguration of weakness (The incarnation) - that "Christianity is true because it is above human invention.", "Christ, the almighty and all powerful one, chose to become weak, to teach us humility" That "indeed, it is only when we acknowledge our weaknesses, as Saint Augustine came to do, that we become strong" - Von Hildebrand builds a stronger and stronger case here "Women definitely have and advantage because it is easier for them to acknowledge that they are weak and depend on help" (you know, willing to ask for directions?) She even notes how "during Christ's passion, they showed more courage that the apostles for they braved the insults of the soldiers and dared to" be with Jesus until the very end - but then the author (in my opinion) counters all this she has built up with the statement "He allows women to be treated with contempt on earth, since He has chosen it for himself" I definitely do not agree with that!

She highlights the glorious roles assigned to women in the Bible, Mary 'declares' herself, an example of strength of character and possessing herself, von Hildebreand brings interesting points in noting that a 'true christian never solicits apologies" - I had never thought about that - and I am not sure how I feel about the comment that "Mary Magdalen believed more strongly because she loved more" - Are we sure of that, perhaps she had less to lose by demonstrating her love more publicly, not just because she was a woman...

Not to go on and on - and I could, but I like the consistent manner in which the author makes it clear that the Church has elevated women throughout the centuries., that she draws comparisons to women wanting to be just like men the way all mankind sinned in the Garden by wanting to be just like God.

"The world in which we now live is a world whose outlook is so distorted that we absolutize what is relative (money-making, power, success) and relativize what is absolute (truth, moral values, faith) Power, riches, fame, success and dominance are idolized; humility, chastity, modesty, self-sacrifice and service are looked down upon as signs of weakness... The glorification of strength and denigration of weakness - has become the shallow core of modern thought and feminist belief" (Opening of Chapter 3) - To just be able to teach discernment to our young people - to see the flaws in our contemporary values as designated here would be a huge first step in balancing our world. She makes a great point about spending millions to save baby whales yet we stand by while abortion becomes the norm for our young women.

She reminds us to keep perspective, consider all things in the light of eternity.

The book approaches all areas of being a woman from the way we dress, to the 'sex' of our bodies, she finds God in all and a tremendous amount of respect and focus on the 'strength' women bring to our societies. The last three chapters are the strongest and most clearly argue for traditional values, values that have withstood the test of time. Modesty, Chastity, Reverence of both sexes - understanding the greatness of creation within us. And while I think she is at an extreme, her teachings which are really timeless values need to be instilled in all of us, they will of course be tempered with reality, but without them our reality is sinking into the abyss...

"The state of our contemporary society sheds light on the fact that when women 'no longer know how to blush" it is a portent that this society is on the verge of moral collapse." Marchello and I often talk about how girls don't giggle much anymore, innocence is lost all too early...

The treatise on sex as an instinct, like hunger or thirst - is really wonderful - Hunger and thirst are life-critical and are about the self, sex is not, by it's very nature, no one dies for lack of it, and it involves another person, who if 'used' for it, is harmed. How can that be an instinct?

So - my overall opinion, in light of the quest I was given by Kathy? By all means, teach this to the girls, read it in groups, but not recommended for a 'school-wide' read, it's impact will be lost, perhaps even its teachings resented if not presented by a caring adult who is there to help them discern what it means for them.

[Tirzah Eleora · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm sort of neutral towards the term feminism. I have feminism to thank for the vote and the option of college or a career should I choose it. Without feminism I wouldn't be able to be treated by female doctors, and for that I am eternally grateful. But there are also a lot of horrible things, chiefly abortion, that have been brought about in the name of equality for women. I'm reluctant to use the term "feminist" to refer to my belief that women should be treated with equal dignity and respect because I don't wish to be associated with the many women using this title and promoting evil and moral anarchy, instead of advocating for women who are truly oppressed.

So I expected to be pretty much on the same page with Alice von Hildebrand, and I was on certain points, but overall she holds to some negative extremes.

I wholeheartedly agree with the basic premise of the book, which is that Christianity, and specifically the Catholic Church, is pro-woman. But although I agree with her verdict on the attitude of the Church, I can hardly agree with her own antique opinion of the minds of women. Here is the question the author means to answer:
"How can it be a privilege for a woman to be called "the second sex"; to be considered less talented, less strong, less creative, less interesting, less intelligent, less artistic than her male counterpart? All great creations of mankind have been made by men: in architecture, in fine arts, in theology, in philosophy, in science, in technology." I thought her intent was to refute these claims, but as I read on I was surprised to realize that what she meant to expound on was why women should, in fact, consider themselves "privileged" despite the fact that they are "less intelligent" etc. According to her, women should feel blessed because they have many other wonderful qualities. Don't feel poorly if you aren't as smart as a man, she tells us, because earthly wisdom is foolishness in the eyes of God. And likewise don't feel bad if you aren't as creative, because society "overrates" creativity.
Now I'll be the first person to agree that it's a biological fact that men are physically stronger than women and I wish feminists would just GET OVER IT ALREADY. But less intelligent? Less interesting?? Less artistic???
The Church may be pro-woman, but I don't feel the author of this book is so much. Were I to agree with her here, I wouldn't be feeling too "privileged". In addition to the above mentioned, she also seems to be in agreement with the attitude that women are more morally culpable for sexual sin than men are. She laments the fact that Christian women do not dress as modestly as Hindu and Muslim women, which I thought a rather extreme standard to set although I certainly believe in modesty. (Another poor piece of advice she gives is that Christians should teach little girls about modesty from a very young age as well as the "great mystery" of virginity and the "consecration of the womb". I have a serious problem with this, but that's another issue.)

You're probably wondering why I gave this book 3 stars if I hated it so much, but there WERE some good things in here too. I especially liked the discussion of why the female tendency to be more emotional does not warrant the scorn that trait is often treated with, but is a trait which allows women to be more fully human and achieve greater holiness (or depravity as the case might be). She speaks highly of the influence of a woman on those around her and discusses the special ways in which God has chosen to bless women and work through them.

It IS a great privilege to be a woman, ladies! But I feel the case made here is not quite convincing.

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 1 out of 5]

I feel really troubled that this book has received so much high praise (and average of 4.3 on Goodreads? Seriously?), and it confirms to me that the only people who pick this up are the ones who are already eager to swallow anything that gets the Vatican's approval, no matter how inane it is.

It is indeed a privilege to be a woman, but I wish that Alice von Hildebrand could have made that point without saying so many utterly stupid things. She essentially makes an argument that is in line with certain schools of feminism (that women should be valued for their "feminine" traits rather than try to become "more like men"), even as she discounts feminism while having absolutely no understanding of its breadth or depth. (In fact, it seems the only feminist she's ever read is Simone de Beauvoir.) For example:

“The agenda of feminists, while animated by a hatred of men, aims at virilizing women so that they can gain control over their bodies, their destiny.” (p. 2-3)

and

“Unwittingly, the feminists acknowledge the superiority of the male sex by wishing to become like men. They foolishly want to alter inequality rather than to achieve truth or justice.” (p. 10)

[Because somehow fighting inequality is NOT justice?]

While acknowledging that, "generalization is risky" (p. 40), she goes on to make sweeping generalizations with absolutely no evidence to back them up, including the following:

- If you lead a group of men and a group of women into a room in which there is a computer and a baby, all the women will go to the baby, and all the men will go to the computer (p. 59-60)

- "If all the tears shed by women had been collected since the beginning of the world, they would compete with the sea. The tears shed by men might fill a pond of modest size. (p. 37)"

- That it is "no coincidence" that marriages that use artificial contraception break up more often (p. 94). (There is absolutely NO citation for this "fact," which fails to mention that 93% of married couples use contraception, INCLUDING, Catholics. So any conclusions drawn from that remaining 7% seem totally bogus. Ever hear of too-small sample sizes? What about "correlation is not causation"?)

- That women who have abortions are plagued with "self-hatred" and become "suicidal." (pg. 61). (I'm sure some of them do. So do some women who have children.)

Her logic is totally twisted, such as her idea that the fact that the Catholic Church gives women no power is actually a way of "honoring" them (pg. 106). And her bizarre ideas about the relationship between men and women aren't even compatible with one another (she claims that women are called to be the "conscience" of man - p. 29 and also that men are responsible for telling women which of their emotions are "valid" and which are "irrational" - p. 38. After which Ivan asked me the very good question of, "How am I suppose to tell you which of your emotions are valid if I don't have a conscience?!" to which I would reply, "Why the * would I marry a man who didn't have a conscience?!?) But then she goes on to say the most "holy" people embody both masculine and feminine characteristics -- which goes against her whole thesis of the sacristy of "separateness" and "difference" (p. 76).

I initially gave this book 2 stars, but I had to downgrade it after I reviewed the two pages of bat***t crazy quotes I took down from it, and because, to serve as a warning for all, this book's average rating on Goodreads REALLY needs to be brought down a few notches. While there are a few interesting or even beautiful observations and ideas tucked away in these 108 pages, for the most part, von Hildebrand's tangential, unsupported work mostly just lends credence to her thesis about women's intellectual "inferiority."

[Robert · Rating 1 out of 5]

A short book, a sad book, the sort of book one would give to a pubescent daughter in the forlorn hope that she would remain pure and saintly - this is the author's attempt to defend the Catholic church against the accusation that it is sexist, is condescending to women, patriarchal, that it devalues women. Von Hildebrand is a traditional Catholic, a very conservative one, almost reactionary -is still not reconciled with the changes of Vatican II - regrets that women are no longer required to cover their heads in church, required to wear a veils. So naturally she makes no effort to understand the feminists' critique of the church, to address their concerns, to respond to their specific complaints. Has no respect for feminists. States quite flatly that "Feminists are women's greatest enemy". She seems not to know that there are devout Catholic women, including nuns, who, out of their real love for the church, are struggling, sometimes at great personal cost, to expand the role of women in the life of the church. If she did, she would probably dismiss them too. Instead of grappling with their concerns (e.g. the ordination of women) von Hildebrand provides an unapologetic exposition of the church's most ultra-conservative view of women - that they are frail ("their weakness is their strength"), are more emotional, less rational than men, are the guardians of purity (and so are more at fault then their male partners in illicit sexual relationships), are gifted with "receptivity", are privileged with the gift of motherhood, are all born to be mothers, and so forth. Course, for her the conclusive proof of the high value placed on womanhood in the church is the honor it bestows on the Virgin Mary - this despite the fact that Mary, while held out as an ideal of womanhood, is more a goddess than a real, flesh and blood woman - is a virgin, born without sin, hence free from the effects of that original sin: menstruation, the pangs of child birth, death itself - that she is a "one-of-a-kind". Course, these arguments are not particularly convincing, are certainly not new, are not just Hildebrand's. What I did find original to her are the many arguments she based on the physiology of the female body - arguments based, for example, on the fact that all female babies, even those resulting from rape or incest are born "modest", with a "veil" guarding their sexual organs - or that a woman's body is more sacred than a man's because during pregnancy it has been touched by God who enters it to implant the soul of the infant - or that unlike in ancient Greco-Roman religion where the herms, the phallic statues, are omnipresent, Catholicism emphasizes the female organ, the womb, which is continuously mentioned in the prayers of the faithful. The author's views of the female character are so extreme, so medieval, that she unintentionally makes a powerful argument for a radial reconsideration, a reformation, of the Roman Church's view of femininity.

[Nicole Patterson]

i think a lot of these themes would be fruitful for men to internalize too. except for the privilege of our female organs being veiled and hidden; not sure that would land for our brothers in christ

[Rose James · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book simultaneously set off my fight or flight response and made me want to force copies of it into the hands of every Catholic woman I know.
First of all, if I'd read this book even a few years ago, I'd have thrown it out completely as sexist rubbish. You need more than an open mind to read this; to get anything out of this book, you would need to a) view it purely as an academic text or b) have a base understanding of (and tolerance for) complementarian theology. Put it this way - it wouldn't be out of place on the bookshelf of your average "red-pilled" anti-feminist bro.
On the one hand, this book portrays such a beautiful view Catholic view of femininity and womanhood. The way the author describes the various titular "privileges'' made me genuinely excited for my future as a wife and mother, and proud of my femininity in a way that you just can't get from secular sources. The opening of this book is genuinely one of the best justifications of God's divine plan for men and women I have ever seen. I would regard it as a key text in the formation of my beliefs, particularly around the charism of motherhood to which I am drawn.
But this book is FAR from perfect. von Hildebrand almost seems proud of her blatant and delibrate misunderstandings of feminism. It seems she read de Beauvoir in the 60s, deemed that representative of all feminism, and decided "that's quite enough of that". I don't blame her for being turned off by first and second wave feminism - much of it was exclusive, prescriptive nonsense - but she clearly allowed this to form a prejudice so strong that she put many Catholic women off her and her work.
I have to mention the laughable pseudoscience and pseudo-psychology employed as 'proof' of the differences between men and women. Humans aren't terribly sexually dimorphic animals, but even employing the simple divison of man and woman, male and female (which hardly even applies to secular society anymore - not a judgement, just a fact), some of her arguments crumble without even needing to argue against them. She invents a scenario in which a group of men and women are ushered into an empty room, in which there is a computer, and a crib with a crying baby. Women will go to the baby, whereas men will be irresistibly drawn to the computer. I have a number of problems with this flight of fancy (not least the implication that fathers don't react to crying babies), but the main one is this - I downloaded and read her book using a 12 year old Lenovo ThinkPad that I rebuilt myself from scratch, using an open source eBook program that I researched and chose myself. Building and maintaining technology on a budget is one of my biggest hobbies. I'm an avid player of video games, and have known how to hack and mod those games since I was in primary school. I am known in my family as "Tech Support". I'm not sure what world von Hildebrand lived in that she thought women weren't drawn to technology over domestic matters, but it was clearly a different world entirely to the one I live in.
A pitfall many Catholic authors fall into is feeling the need to justify our undeniably different way of living by portraying all other ways of living as evil and devoid of value. Bar an odd aside in which she praises the modest dress of "Hindus and Moslems", von Hildebrand's disdain for "secularism" and "pagan" religions is made clear. I find it an odd choice to attack others in a book that would be far better if it focussed on the positives of our way of life, rather than the negatives of theirs.
It's important to mention the consistent prejudice both von Hildebrands espoused during their lives against the second Vatican council and its supporters. Seriously, I veil in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, I'm on board with the careful restoration of pre-Vatican II traditions, and, despite attending a reverent Novus Ordo Mass myself, I'm quite friendly with the TLM folks, but I still found myself grinding my teeth at points during the book. von Hildebrand clearly had an axe to grind, and never missed a chance to tell us about it.
This is a very strange book. At once completely infuriating and breathtakingly profound, I find myself unable to give a coherent review of it. So, I give it three stars; not to imply mediocrity, but simply an average of the two ratings I wish to give it. Five stars, and one.

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good, but perhaps a little old fashioned or 'fundamentalist' in her view of womanhood, I couldn't agree with absolutely everything but many of her ideas were very good.

[Marie Marcalus · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Women are more geared to piety because they have a keener awareness of their weakness. This is their true strength.” 🔥🔥🔥

Only giving it 4 stars because I wish it was longer! Read this book wayyyyy too quickly, but was surprised that it was only 108 pages. Alice is such a girl’s girl — it’s such a privilege to be a woman and to have the Blessed Virgin as our model of piety, obedience, humility, beauty, and strength. What an honor to be so small so that our Lord could be so great. I think if I gave this book to the average 21st century woman, her head would explode. That’s how you know it’s truth.

[Anna Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a lot of good in this book and I can agree with much of what she is saying... but there were some parts that really irked me.

Exhibit A: von Hildebrand claims over and over that women are morally superior to men. She provides the example of a room with a baby and a computer, stating that while women would go to the baby, men would care more about the computer. *eye roll* Guess men are all robots devoid of emotion now. It is interesting how von Hildebrand claims that feminism is harmful (rightfully so), but then falls into the exact same trap of putting women on a pedestal, claiming that they are better than men in some way. Yes, women and men are different. Yes, men are better in some things and women are better in others. But it doesn't help matters at all if you only focus on one side. Both sides must be taken into account to create a sound argument.

Exhibit B: First, von Hildebrand shows examples of how women are technically, in some areas, the weaker sex. Okay, I can agree with this. But then, later, she says that, by looking at the symbolism of the woman's hidden body, women are guardians of their own purity, and therefore, fault entirely rests upon their shoulders if they lose their virginity. This is entirely ridiculous, not only by recalling how many men seduce women, but also by remembering that von Hildebrand herself reminded her readers that women can fall into sin because they believed that they are loved, because they want affection, they hope that the men they love will marry them, etc. Ergo - a logical fallacy. If von Hildebrand had said that women are the guardians of their own purity, but that men have the duty to help them protect this virginity, I could have been on board with that.

The last page was quite interesting. von Hildebrand comments upon the "phallic cult" of paganism, but states that the Church has "waged a relentless war against this aberration," thereby conceding that feminists can have a point sometimes, yet illustrating that the Catholic Church is really on woman's side - which is really what this entire book is about.

[Marina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect.

[Rebekah W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was largely responsible for my conversion from feminism.
It is small, but it is a masterpiece.

[Haley Baumeister · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some incredibly beautiful and poignant observations from scripture and the world at large. I am always grateful for a ways of seeing, naming, and appreciating the distinctiveness of women, as women, not denigrating ourselves in pursuit of being some version of a man.

Among those positive moments in the book were some more unhelpfully generalized declarations that, while perhaps true for the majority of each sex, didn't leave much room for the variety of female dispositions - and especially the very normal and statistical outliers in the bell curve of any given trait or proclivity. The book could have benefitted from more careful explanation or nuance in those areas.

As someone responded to me recently (regarding my thought of Kathy Keller seeming to be the fascinating, unsung hero in Collin Hansen's biography of Tim): "Women have always been hero as siren, muse, Helen of Troy- we are always there luring men into danger or bringing them home." This idea resonates, and there were parts in here that echoed the sentiment. Other times, though, Hildebrand seemed to take a step beyond this, implying women have always been a type of moral gatekeeper - or at least the virtuously superior sex - responsible for bringing men up from their simple, caveman-like state.

Here I thought of Erika Bachiochi's "The Rights of Women": "For Wollstonecraft, after all, it was not women themselves who guarded against moral corruption. Rather, the shared duties of the domestic sphere and the development of good relationships therein properly adorned each human being with the virtues needed for upright and just public undertakings."

All in all, a short read with some gems mixed alongside statements I would take with a grain of salt.

[Anna Wolske · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, beautiful book. I can not recommend this one enough! Every woman of any age should read this book!

[Katie]

I have a lot of thoughts on this book. Need to discuss.

[A Fiore · Rating 2 out of 5]

What a disappointing polemic of propaganda. I was so excited to read Alice von Hildebrand after discovering Catholic new-feminism. She’s one of many others I want to read — Edith Stein and Catharine of Siena included.

What I anticipated was a thorough, comprehensive, and academic investigation of querrelle de femmes with the help of scripture and the inspiring lineage of women who have gone before us. Instead, I got a careless treatise that makes a myriad of assumptions about the differences between the sexes and reinforces purity culture era values, going so far as to concur with the notion that it is more abhorrent for a woman to be unchaste than a man. Yikes. Hildebrand concedes that women are both more wicked and more pious then men, creating an impossible binary that unfairly elevates women to the status of holy virgin and discriminately lowers them to the status of whore. And it gets worse.

Not surprisingly, Hildebrand spends a great deal of her book on the Virgin Mary, and while I’m Protestant, I have a soft spot for Marian doctrine. But Hildebrand is so daring and self-assured that she claims that “Satan fears Mary not only more than all angels and men, but in some sense more than God Himself.” I’m sorry, this is heresy, and would confirm any Independent Baptist quack’s belief that the Catholic Church is a bastion of Mary-idolatry.

What’s so disappointing about this book is that I wanted a thorough and fair treatment of differing theories and got instead a reductive summary of feminism as the feminine-abhorring male-aspiring evil-of-all-evils. And the thing is! I can get behind a great deal of her critique. Much of latent feminism encourages women to disband from what makes them uniquely different from men (evidenced by how capitalist corporations readily provide coverage for a woman’s abortion, because the procedure costs them less than providing paid maternity leave and facilities for working mothers), inadvertently reinforcing the belief that to be female is to be less than.

But Hildebrand doesn’t contend with the complexities of “the women question” and ignores the fact that the existence of the question at all confirms that there *is* something to consider. Instead, she reduces feminism to evidence of our increasingly relativistic and subjective society, not as the imperfect, but understandable culmination of unparalleled technological advancement that emancipated both of the sexes from the all consuming drudgery of survival. Nor does she consider that over defining femininity and masculinity outside the bounds of scripture denies the shared humanity that men and women have. Hildebrand is right that the ability to bare life ought to dash any thought of women’s inferiority out of existence, and yet, through pages and pages of mind-numbing assumptions, Hildebrand accepts that women have been and are derided as opportunity for their “hidden” and “mysterious” spirituality to strengthen, with no consideration that maybe the subjection of women is the result of the fall and is a sin that brings death into the life of our fellow brothers and death into the Church Herself.

[Guinevere Wagner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some beautiful theological concepts and sound Catholic philosophy, diluted by eyeroll-worthy unsupported claims about women vs. men, and pernicious purity culture tropes that left me ultimately disappointed in the overall message. Sigh.

[Sarah Furka · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started this book because a Servidora told me to…highly recommend accepting most - if not all - book recommendations when they come from a trusted religious sister! Indeed: God entrusts all of humanity to the heart, soul, and body of woman!!

“One thing is certain: When the time has come, nothing which is man-made will subsist. One day, all human accomplishments will be reduced to a pile of ashes. But every single child to whom a woman has given birth will live forever, for he has been given an immortal soul made to God's image and likeness. In this light, the assertion of de Beauvoir that ‘women produce nothing’ becomes particularly ludicrous.”

“Since Genesis, the one deadly enemy of the serpent is the woman because she has been named ‘mother of the living.’ This is confirmed by God Himself. Therefore the enemy's most vicious attacks will be directed against her. The whole drama that has been developing in our society over the last sixty years vividly shows how it is through the woman that the enemy is directing his attacks. Feminism was born the day that the enemy convinced some ambitious women that they will never achieve greatness unless they liberate themselves from the burden to give birth that was so unfairly placed on their shoulders. He convinced them to believe maternity is a jail and it is high time that women free themselves from these unbearable chains. It is only natural that the contraceptive mentality embraced in the sixties was seen as a key instrument in freeing women from this unfair burden. Yet, we cannot escape the individual and societal consequences of contraception predicted by Pope Paul VI in Humanae Vitae in 1968 - lower moral standards, greater infidelity, less respect for women by men, and coercive use of reproductive technology by governments - all evident today.”

“It is psychologically so satisfying to find an institution to blame for all the evils afflicting the world, while the accuser wraps himself comfortably in the mantle of blamelessness! Ignorant people stubbornly refuse to make a distinction between Her Holiness as Bride of Christ and Holy Teacher and the often pitiful actions of her wayward and rebellious children. The Church grants all her children the means of achieving holiness —but she cannot force them to become holy. It is noteworthy that the Church is at times censured for abusing her authority by ‘imposing’ her dogmatic and moral teaching on her children, without consulting them! But the next moment, her accusers criticize her for not using her authority to force her children to live according to the Gospel.”

“Man's conscience has been so darkened by his repeated infidelities toward God that these outrageous murders are no longer registered as being crimes that cry to heaven. Baby murderers go to bed with a good conscience and the satisfaction of having been ‘efficient.’ Bernard Nathanson, in his gripping work The Hand of God, relates that after having performed an abortion he had the pleasant feeling of having completed a work well done and of having ‘liberated’ pregnant women from a burden hateful to them. Babies are cheap to make. Baby whales are more costly.”

“Our first parents' minds were darkened by sin, their wills were weakened, their judgment became distorted. The hierarchy of values being upset, male accomplishments became overvalued. Physical strength became glorified and weakness was looked down upon as a proof of inferiority. This is written in the book of Wisdom, referring to the language of the ungodly: ‘but let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be useless.’”

“In the liturgy dedicated to Saint Agnes-a young maid who suffered martyrdom —the Church writes: ‘O God who chooses what is feeble in the world’ (‘qui infirma mundi eligis...’). A few days after the feast of Saint Agnes, the Church celebrates another young female saint: Dorothy, virgin and martyr. Dom Guéranger comments, ‘The religion of Christ alone can produce in timid women, like the saint of today, an energy which at times surpasses that of the most valiant martyrs among men. Thus does our Lord glorify His infinite power, by crushing Satan's head with what is by nature so weak.’”

“True strength is knowing how weak one is, because this awareness is a clarion call that one needs help. God always listens to those who beg Him to come to their aid. What a sweet victory when the victor refuses to have laurels put on his own head and gives all the credit to his beloved, his Savior, his Holy Physician.”

“The following passage in The Story of a Soul is revealing: ‘Ah! Poor women, how they are despised. And yet many more women than men love God. During Christ's passion, they showed more courage than the apostles for they braved the insults of the soldiers and dared to dry the adorable face of Jesus.
For this reason, He allows women to be treated with contempt on earth, since He has chosen it for Himself. In heaven, He will show that His thoughts are not men's thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9) for then the last will be the first.’”

In response to feelings being considered inferior/not to be trusted: “The greatest and deepest religious and human experiences are related to the heart. It is our heart that makes us vulnerable. The heart of the Savior was ‘bruised by our sins.’ It is the heart that loves, that is merciful, that has compassion, that feels contrition, that cries over sins, that is wounded by wickedness. Saint Francis' heart was bleeding "because love was so little loved." It is the heart that suffers with the beloved and would be happy to suffer for the beloved. Christ tells us that "He is meek and humble of heart."

“The state of our contemporary society sheds light on the fact that when women ‘no longer know how to blush,’ it is a portent that this society is on the verge of moral collapse. Women carry a heavy share of guilt because they betray their human and moral mission. When women are pure, men will respect, nay, venerate them; they will also hear the call challenging them to chastity.”

“He whom the whole world is unable to contain being made man, enclosed Himself in thy womb.”

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this little book so much! It's full of wisdom and good sense. It's one to read more than once, because there are so many profound statements that just can't all be absorbed the first time through. This book should be read by men and women. It truly is a privilege to be a woman, and the greatest accomplishment is to be the woman that God created you to be, not the woman that society wants you to be.

[Anna Maria Little · Rating 1 out of 5]

I felt like this book didn't teach me anything new from beginning to end. It gave no difference between man and women besides character and personality traits which are not differences, because sensitivity, courage, strength, and weakness are not inherently masculine or feminine traits they are human ones.

[Joy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an odd read, in that I agree with all of AvH's conclusions, but am frustrated by the arguments she makes to arrive at them. It's beyond preaching-to-the-converted; it's an argument that only the converted can follow.

[Maggie]

My mom found out she was pregnant with me while editing this book. She sat down to work and subconsciously ate a whole jar of pickles (her previous pregnancy craving) and after realizing what shed done, ran to go take a test, and now here I am! This book has a very special place in my heart.

[Madyson Hamling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truly do feel privileged to be a woman hehe

So many different points that affirm the goodness of woman. Many points were highlighted!

[Tori Viator · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of surface level but there were a few quotes that touched my motherly heart in a special way.


“When the time has come, nothing which is man-made will subsist. One day, all human accomplishments will be reduced to a pile of ashes. But every single child to whom a woman has given birth will live forever, for he has been given an immortal soul.”

“Maternity is a sublime calling, and even though man’s ungrateful heart often forgets his mothers sufferings to bring him into the world and her endless devotion in order to bring him up, it is well known that when a man faces death on the battlefield, his last words, his last thoughts are often directed to his mother.”

“Mary’s virginity and motherhood also manifest the immense spiritual fecundity of virginity. The virgin who consecrates herself to God in total donation is not and cannot remain barren. She, too, is to be called mother, but her motherhood is of a spiritual nature, and for this reason is open to the world. A consecrated virgin is called upon to be the mother of millions of souls whose sorrows she carries in her heart and to whom she hopes to help give birth in eternal life.”

[Mary Wieszczek · Rating 4 out of 5]

a phenomenal read. alice nails it. a true argument for the privilege of being a woman while exposing the outright lies of feminism. she does so in such an eloquent way, giving the supernatural view of the feminine genus, explaining the denigration of woman, the mystery of femininity in light of virginity and maternity, the nature of woman’s complementariness to man, and relating woman’s supernatural mission to that performed by Mary, the co-redemptrix in the economy of salvation. most notable of woman’s nature is her gift of receptivity which in turn is also a self-giving—mirrored so perfectly in Mary’s fiat. every young woman ought to read this book.

[Kami S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Wow. I plan on going back through and highlighting certain points that really struck me. Every young lady (and older lady too) should read this and begin to REALLY feel grateful for being created a woman! It's just a smaller book, easy to read.. I'm glad Alice wrote it and not her husband, he gets way too deep.

[Rhea Dricken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes yes and yes. Everyone and their grandma should read this book.

[Cris · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is a good book for popular consumption that will convey the general culture of the femenine in Catholicism in the aftermath of The New Femenists (Orthodox Catholic Theologians who reaffirm the basic tenets of femeninity while embracing society's new appreciation of womanhood). It is a good inspirational and summary book that is quick and easy to read. It is not however a work of deep theological insight or advancement. There is very little looking at the scriptures and almost no historical context about how the church about the nature of woman have 'evolved' through history. A better book to look at for theology buffs from a phenomenological approach is Woman: a collection of essays by Edith Stein. There are certain parts of the book, where Hildebrand seems to be saying that men and women have different capacities for being moral and I'm not sure the Church posits this. But then again, we are talking about issues where there isn't a clearly articulated teaching, but merely a tradition of thinkers and their opinions.

[Juliana Petito]

As feministas nada entendem sobre o sagrado feminino, tanto é que são mestras em destruir reputações e vidas, através de suas ideologias progressistas, com as quais contaminam as meninas cada vez mais jovens.

Frágeis, e com pouca ou quase nenhuma orientação espiritual, as adolescentes são alvos fáceis das teorias da libertação.

Contudo, a jovem um dia chegará à idade adulta, e algumas feridas em sua alma serão quase impossíveis de serem curadas.

Cada vez vemos mais igrejas vazias, e consultórios de psicólogos sobrecarregados. Alguma coisa deu errado, não é mesmo?

[M. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely cannot and will not follow her when she says that women are inherently more moral in compensation for their physical weakness, as well as will not say with her, that we are less intelligent, less interesting... but there are many gems to ponder on here, and this is a reason why I look forward to re-read.

[Katie Marquette · Rating 4 out of 5]

Note this is a theological work, not an apologetic, and therefore takes a certain worldview as self explanatory. That being said von Hildebrand does an excellent job exposing the inconsistency of both secular feminism and "anti woman theology." Both fail to understand woman's unique role - and the many aspects of womanhood that are truly a gift. A refreshing, thought-provoking, affirming work.