Roger's Profanisaurus

by Viz Magazine, Terry Jones (Foreword)

The ultimate in schoolboy humor, this is the book for anyone who truly loves Viz humor! Roger Mellie presents a new edition of his classic dictionary of swearing that gives a hilarious new angle to many previously innocently used words. Fully updated for the new millennium with definitions culled from the intellects of Viz's finest readers, this is positively the last word in contemporary profanity.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Reference, Comedy, Writing, Language, Dictionaries

256 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2002

About the author

Viz is a British adult comic magazine founded in 1979 by Chris Donald. It parodies British comics of the post-war period, notably The Beano and The Dandy, but with extensive profanity, toilet humour, black comedy, surreal humour and generally sexual or violent storylines. It also sends up tabloid newspapers, with mockeries of articles and letters pages.

Reviews

[Manny]

I don't know any book with quite as many rude words and phrases. It even explains what they all mean! If you have a filthy mind, a unique resource that I cannot recommend too highly.

For example, suppose you urgently needed to look up the exact meaning of crash the yoghurt truck...
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The other day, I mentioned this book to notgettingenough, who until then had been fortunate enough never to have heard of it. I'm sorry, Not. But, now that the damage is done, I might as well go the whole hog and inform you and other readers that a new edition is just about to appear.

I will do my very best not to buy it, but accidents have been known to happen...
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I can't imagine how I've only just found out now, but a bootleg Profanisaurus is available online here. Enjoy!

[G.R. Reader]

floater n. 1. A turd in the pan which will not flush away.
2. Person who reposts reviews on Goodreads.

[Stephanie]

Every kind of profanity that one could dare to use is in this book,.

[Paul]

It's a commonly repeated urban myth that the Eskimo-Aleut languages have innumerable words for "snow". That is, of course, what scholars call "bollocks". Viz, however, has been able to catalogue approximately 4,450 English terms for fornication, masturbation and defecation. It is a bawdy, baseless and brilliant achievement and quite questionably more fun than an evening of firkyfoodling afore the Finsbury Bridge - an absolutely indispensible reference work.

[Anthony]

Roger Mellie (2002) ROGER'S PROFANISAURUS
London. Boxtree

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5 out of 5 stars

The sleeve reads, "Millions of readers already swear by Roger's Profanisaurus, an ever-expanding dictionary of contemporary profanity, euphemism and obscenity that has graced the pages of Viz for the past 35 dog years. Now fully revised, expanded and bang up-to-date, this hardback edition has to be the most foul-mouthed lexicon ever published."

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I'm an absolute child. I've cried with laughter! So many favourites... Aeroplane blonde... air tulip... air your guts... Anne Frank... arse wasps... atomic mutton... autograph the gusset... back wheels... badly packed kebab... BANT... bargain bucket... bear trapper's hat... beaten like a ginger step-child... beer coat... Beethoven's fifth... Billy goat's mouth... blart attack... blood orange... bolitics... Bourneville boulevard... butcher's window... carnival... Champagne corks... cheddar apple... Chewbacca after a flight... cranberry dip... and that's just the ABCs! Highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend this because it'll have you crying with laughter - it's a complete escape from your real life worries!
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[Barry Sherlock]

This book very accurately markets itself as "the foulest-mouthed book ever to stalk the face of the earth".
It is also the most hilariously funny book I have ever encountered.
It is an exhaustively comprehensive dictionary of swear words and profanities, put together by Viz magazine in the style of an academically rigorous dictionary like the OED. The 2018 revision contains an astonishing 20,000 entries.
I couldn't imagine reading it from cover to cover (it is after all a dictionary), but it is highly entertaining to dip into.

[Steven Leonard]

A literary tour-de-force that expanded my feeble understanding of profanity to a degree I didn't believe was humanly possible. Not only is my vocabulary of vulgarity expanded exponentially, I feel like an entire world of offensive possibilities is open to me now. This was THE book I've been looking for all these years.

[Philip]

A very British Isles vocabulary to dip into when feeling frustrated or elated.

[SGM Ashcroft]

A must for anyone who is serious about being foul-mouthed and generally disreputable.

[Jason Butterworth]

This is a great introduction to anyone interested in the hidden meaning swear words

[Ben462]

Magnificent. No notes.

[Dan]

An early edition of the much-admired reference work, though not the very first, which as I recall was a slender pamphlet stapled to an issue of Viz. But even the OED and "Psychopathia Sexualis" had to start somewhere.

[Jim]

Dr Johnson, eat your heart out. If all dictionaries were as interesting and informative as Roger Mellie's, we'd all be a lot more educated and the world may well be a better place. On the other hand, if Dr Johnson had spent his whole diary writing only about bodily functions, he still wouldn't have come close to the amount of definitions for such acts that Roger Mellie covers here (and so far I've only reached the letter "D"). If you've ever read Viz, you'll know what to expect from this. Some of it is eye-wateringly funny, most of it is outrageous and the majority of it reads like it was made up in a pub in Newcastle. Squaddie humour abounds, student puerile humour isn't far behind and Roger captures it all without discrimination. If you have strange and frankly weird thoughts pertaining to sex or bodily functions or alcohol - or all three combined - you'll find comfort herein. Not only has someone thought of it before you, they've actually coined a phrase for it.
I think Will Self wrote a book in which the premise was that a far distant future civilisation find one book from our civilisation (which has wiped itself out) and that book becomes their Bible. (It is the diary of a London cabbie.) I wonder what would happen if the only book to survive from our times was Roger's Profanisaurus? You know, on reflection, we could do worse.

[Gemma]

Brilliant! Very immature, but hilarious! Who doesn't like being immature laughing at rude words every now and then. The definitions of the words are a lot of the time, funnier than the words! Not a book you read cover to cover, but perfect for picking up any time when you're need a bit of a giggle!

[Lee Watkins]

Brilliant. I learned all profound things from this book.

E.g. wizard's sleeve n. A particularly capacious sausage wallet. 'I can't feel a bloody thing, Mother Theresa. You have a fanny like a wizard's sleeve'.

[Mel]

My friend George lent me this - and its so rude! I am learning new words, and am trying to share something new with him each day when i see him at work.

Corey said giving me new rude words was like giving matches to a Pyromaniac!

[Rhodri]

This is jam packed with some of the most immature humour you'll ever read. Once, I almost crashed my car because I was laughing so hard as my brother read out entries from this book. I was about thirty at the time.

[Kelly]

let's be honest... this is good for a giggle!

[Kevin Armes]

A useful resource for a anyone wanting to learn the origin of obscure swear words like 'zuffle'. Well, life can't be serious all the time. :-)

[Steve Clark]

Edition: Revised edition