Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential

by Marylou Kelly Streznewski

What is it like to be smarter than 95% of the people you meet? Fifty-four-year-old Alison says, "They told me I was smart and I cried. I wanted to be sexy, or glamorous!" Jean, 38, laments, "I learned the whole job in six weeks, and now I'm bored."

Gifted Grownups, Marylou Kelly Streznewski's unprecedented, 10-year study of 100 gifted adults, examines how being identified as a "smart kid" early on affects career choices, friendships, and romantic pairings later in life. Why do some talented and gifted people become Mozarts and Einsteins or corporate chieftains, while others drop out of school, struggle to hold down jobs, or turn to self-destructive behavior? What are the signs of giftedness, its pitfalls, and its promise? Marylou Streznewski provides answers to these and other questions, and creates an intriguing picture of what it is like to have an accelerated mind in a slow-moving world.

Traditionally, the gifted were measured in terms of intelligence only, and anyone with an IQ score higher than 130 was automatically grouped in with that misunderstood minority. Recently "giftedness" has been redefined to include qualities like extraordinary creative, leadership, or physical skills. Heightened perception, sensitivity, humor, and the ability to put complex ideas together quickly are also aspects of giftedness. These gifts affect the way talented adults react to their friends, families, jobs, and life challenges. Doing for gifted grownups what the bestselling Driven to Distraction did for adults with attention deficit, Gifted Grownups traces many types of gifted adults, including the high-testing, power-achieving Striver; the popular scholar or athlete Superstar; and the creative intellectual, free-spirit Independent. Here for the first time and in their own words, 100 gifted grownups, from ages 18 to 90, and a variety of family and educational backgrounds, occupations, social classes, and races, count the blessings and tally the costs of a high-powered mind. "Highly informative and interesting."--Alice Miller, author of The Drama of the Gifted Child

"This book was a delight. It affirmed my own experiences and observations. The author makes her study come alive . . . through the voices of real people talking about their experiences. . . . I highly recommend this book.i--Joanne Rand Whitmore, PhD, Professor and Dean College and Graduate School of Education, Kent State University

"Many readers will recognize their own experiences.--Lita Linzer Schwartz, PhD, ABPP Distinguished Professor Emerita, Pennsylvania State University.

"This thoughtful book . . . has taken us one step further in our understanding of how and why some talented individuals realize their potential while others do not."--Dr. Sally M. Reis, Professor of Educational Psychology, The University of Connecticut.

"Gifted Grownups meets a long-awaited need. This book would be of interest, not only to gifted education professionals, but also to parents, teachers in general, and to gifted individuals of all ages.--E. Paul Torrance, Georgia Studies of Creative Behavior, author of Gifted and Talented Children in the Regular Classroom. ISBN 0-471-29580-9

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Education, Social Science

304 pages, Hardcover

First published March 15, 1999

Reviews

[Susanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has wondered, "If I am (or someone else I know is) so smart, why can't I pick a career/stick with things/make friends/just be normal?" I am not a scientific reader, like some of the recent reviewers, but I found this book easy to read cover to cover, with its introduction to general scientific topics that are pertinent to giftedness, like how the brain actually requires stimulation to function at its optimal level. I enjoyed the interviews from an anecdotal perspective; they are there to serve the author's hypothesis that although there are different types of giftedness and a diversity of gifted people, some experiences and traits are common to the condition of being bright, no matter whether a person is young or old. And I appreciated the summation of some key points from psychology and educational theory. I had plenty of "Oh wow" moments about myself and my family thanks to this book.

[Tony · Rating 1 out of 5]

Total bollocks. This makes the case for genetics – and anyone without the right genes can fuck off.

Giftedness is a myth. Hard work, dedication and perseverance is where it’s at. The book even has the nerve to cite Einstein and Mozart when all evidence (and even form the mouth of Einstein) tell us that hard work gets us where we need to be.

Even has the fucking nerve to suggest this is a good read for us teachers… so what do you suggest I do, tell my students to not bother if they’re not ‘gifted’.

Arse.

Apologies. I’m angry.

EDIT: DNF (of course)

[Summer · Rating 3 out of 5]

First problem: For a book ostensibly about "grownups," a lot of it focuses on children. There are countless books on gifted youth, and if I had wanted to read about them, I would have gotten a book with a different focus.

Second problem: Anecdotal, unscientific, a little boring. While it is nice to know that other people have similar life experiences, it doesn't really satisfy my curiosity.

Third problem: Every time I read books about giftedness, I end up getting depressed about myself, childhood, the American educational system, and how I spent so many years shutting off my brain that now I can't think too good no more. This isn't really the book's fault, though.

[Sue Bridehead (A Pseudonym) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I saw this mentioned on a blog and decided to check it out and see what it says about career choices.

Strange that this book was published in in 1999; it feels like it came out in the 1950s. I didn't learn much from reading it, and in fact am wondering who the target audience is. Parents of unusually smart kids or teens, maybe? (And yet, the author spends most of her time declaring that the majority of gifted children come from gifted families, whatever that means. I find the very notion to be uncomfortably elitist.) Ultimately, I feel like "gifted" is one of those words where the more you repeat it, the less it seems to mean. Gifted, gifted, gifted. With what? By whom?

My main takeaways from reading this book:

1. Hyperactive or unfocused children with behavioral issues may simply be bored;

2. It's a good idea to marry someone as smart as you or smarter (indeed, the concept of never marrying is barely broached, and LGBQT is nonexistent in the world of this book -- thus the 1950s vibe). Marrying someone less "gifted" will doom the relationship; and

3. Keep mentally active your entire life, especially when you're older -- "use it or lose it" applies to intellect and creativity.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Browsing around my recent reading-theme of all-things-brain, I came across this. Quite interesting. A bit dated (published 1999). It's mostly a long list of personal stories of very clever people and the way in which their cleverness often left them bored and inattentive in school/college and therefore, ironically, underachieving. Can't think of much else to say about it. There are probably better books on this subject out there somewhere.

[Emma · Rating 4 out of 5]

completely helpful. if you've ever wondered why you seem to move at a faster speed than the people around you or feel frustrated or depressed if you don't have stimulation and challenge and growth in your life, read this book. 4 stars because the writing is a little uneven.

[Fate's Lady · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recognized myself or my loved ones in nearly every page of this book, and was stunned and overjoyed to discover that so many of my quirks are actually pretty normal for gifted people.

It's hard to talk about having a high intelligence without sounding elitist, arrogant, or deluded, and complaint about any aspect of life as a gifted person is met with derision. "You're a genius, you've got it easy; stop complaining!" So I don't. I bottle up frustration, impatience, and boredom and just wind up feeling alone and "freakish". But imagine if you were forced to spend all day every day working and relaxing with no one but legitimately mentally retarded people for company. My IQ is as much (or more) above the average than the average is above retardation. I'm not complaining about being smart, and I'm not trying to call anyone else dumb; it's just legitimately exhausting and sometimes uncomfortably frustrating.

It was also wonderful to realize that there's nothing "wrong" with being unable to settle on one thing at a time and to just settle into a career like most people. It's okay to start over, to want to learn something new as soon as I've mastered the old, and to thrive on throwing myself into the deep end and then teaching myself to swim to the surface.

[Lissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I AM normal for changing education/jobs/hobbies so frequently! Yee gads I'm Normal! Er, okay, maybe sometimes. The entire book was based on one teacher's personal interviews with a number of "gifted" adults, though not necessarily those that scored highly on a standardized IQ test. Due to the nature of the research conducted for this book, the writing was based on stories culled from the interviews, so most statistics were lacking.

Faq:

-Sensory deprivation CAN happen in the classroom; lack of stimulation to the Reticular Formation (part of your brain stem that handles all the fun stuff from attention spans to wanting chow, to walking and sleeping, to even wanting sex! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reticula...) can actually cause slowing down of mental processes and thus decrease concentration.

-Gifted folks have a drop-out rate 3x higher than others, and possibly as much as 20% of prison populations could be considered gifted, some even profoundly so.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a bookgroup, and it wasn't groundbreaking. This is the first I've really read about giftedness in adults, almost all research seems to be about gifted children. This book had too many examples for me, I ended up skimming many of them, and they seemed to demonstrate that gifted adults range from underachieving depressed individuals to superstar overachievers.

The main things I took away from this book is that to be happy gifted people must be learning new things constantly. (Nothing different from gifted kids) And that we need to support gifted mothers more when they choose to stay home to take care of their gifted children.

[Paul Broenen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although her writing style detracted from the readability of this book, the author was very thorough with the topic and provided tons of useful links, references, and entertaining anecdotes. I gave the book 4 stars for content. There is a dearth of resources for gifted adults, so this author should be lauded for her contribution to the field!

[Patricia Mauerhofer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting approach and compilation based on 100 interviews with gifted adults from their 20ies to their 80ies.
I liked the mixture of theoretical information and an overview of the research around giftedness together with the illustrations through real life experiences. It's an intellectual stimulating and entertaining way to show as well similarities as the panoply of different ways to struggle and cope with the still widely misunderstood concept. (Even the grammar check here for this review don't recognize the term 'giftedness' - interesting!)

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The variety of characteristics of gifted was very interesting to read about. As with many books, some of the information pertained to people I knew and was interesting and some was not. Definitely a good book to read on the subject, although I'd sure there is newer, more scientific works out there.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Relatively insightful regarding career/professional issues, but I grew weary of the anecdotal stories and felt like some of it was elitist - particularly the description of searching for "others." I believe we are all gifted in our own ways, so I did like that she said you are more than your IQ number. p.s. PA/NJ friends: the author is a teacher from Bucks County, PA.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes you a read a book that fixes everything. For me, this book (couple with "Quiet") helps to explain some of my key experiences to myself in a way that helps me navigate the world. Streznewski provides solid education and psychology research sprinkled liberally with stories gathered from over 100 interviews, which is a very successful format. Highly recommended.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting and relevant to me personally.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good read, and super impactful to my thinking. Honestly, a must-read for any gifted adult out there. Love how it combined research and interviews.

[Je Nolan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've rated it 2 stars. Factually correct in many ways. Stories of actual gifted people and their experiences, life choices, and consequences was the best part. Author's literary voice and perspective were most irritating. The perspective of the book (this may have been intentional) seems to be a private high school teacher begging gifted kids she knows to stay in school and persevere. She presents many good examples of the futures of gifted adults. Additionally, the author praises any famous post-secondary school on the east coast of the US as "a good school". Any other post-secondary school is referred to as 2nd-rate or 3rd-rate. This last bit probably angers most high school and college educators who are struggling with the issues of their gifted students. The book does not take up the issue of mental health of gifted children and adults, which will will influence their choices more than any encouragement or research. Overall it has verifiable facts, yet presents only a narrow selection of issues in this area. I wouldn't be surprised if it were written specifically for 1 or 2 gifted students who know the author.

[Sippy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some parts were interesting and insightful, large parts were obsolete. A whole chapter on growing up gifted in a gifted family, but not one on growing up gifted in a a not accepting family, except if you find yourself turning into a criminial. Found myself skimming, scanning and skipping large parts of the book that seemed irrelevant (all this talk about children and adolescengs in a book that is supposed to be about grownups, the talk about how to raise gifted children and the bla bla about gifted women seemed from an era longer ago than the less than 20 years this book is old) and found large parts just much talking and having a lack of information density and synthesis. So sometimes interesting, but all in all not superimpressed.

If anyone reading this has suggestions on better books about gifted adults, I would love to receive your suggestions! : )

[Spaghett · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy to read and well written, but I don't think it quite hits the potential it could have had. Granted it does seem to be the first book on the adult side of this topic, and the first penguin on the ice falls through the cracks, but like others have said the book spends way too much time on children which is fairly well-trodden ground. I'd say maybe half of this is actually about the adult experience. There are some legitimately helpful takeaways, the shifting of interests every X months, and the ways some of the interviewes make things better. The interviews themselves were good, but a lot of them were so similar some of them could have been trimmed down for a shorter read that gets the same point across. Overall it wasn't really what I'd call an eye-opener but it was a decent enough read before bed

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not entirely sure what to make of this book.

Much of it is simple snippets about how some gifted individuals act in a variety of situations. This is good because in many cases, the reader can hopefully see themselves and understand they're not alone. On the other hand, I don't care what Susan does when she's at a party. Too much space is dedicated to this content.

There is good information in here but it does not go super deep in part because there's not a ton of research or other scientific data to rely on. In any case, this is a poor review because I'm not particularly gifted but I'd recommend this book if you're interested in this topic as at least a good introductory text.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had one key insight for me, which was the idea that interests and boredom come in cycles of 18 months-3 years. Other than that, a lot of the book seemed outdated. Much of what she called for in 1999 has come to pass, in terms of women’s roles, and it is strange to think all of that has happened since I graduated high school...

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Would probably give this 3.5 stars. It's a bit dated at this point and some sections are definitely better than others.

[Daniel Davtyan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book helped me to see me, I realized many thinks when reading the book

[Kyra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nobody told me.
And everybody else lied.
And those who live by comparison are always eager to find "flaws." (Contrary to many manuals' directives, just because the problem follows you everywhere you go, it doesn't mean you are a problem.)

They starting dancing in the rust belt 10 years ago when the car began stalling, passive-aggressively holding that my car was some sort of grandiose delusion.

The engine is almost clean and running. It's only taken seven years.

I'm in the wrong place and the wrong body to be one to stall from misuse. There are only three places that don't erect unnecessary stop lights, and they ALL have their share aggressive drivers. And traffic cops abound EVERYwhere here.
This is all news to me.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more than I did, but I was really turned off by the pseudoscience the author drops in. For example, in the chapter on criminals, the author characterizes sociopaths as having a weak superego combined with a weak ego. I don't know any psychologists who still take Freud seriously, and that's before we get to the alternative theory the author presents that sociopaths have a stern father and indulgent mother, which "causes enough personality dislocation to distort the bright child's sense of right and wrong".

[Joseph · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book demonstrates a pattern common to others written by psychologists. It talks about the subjects rather than to the subjects.

So, if you're a parent, spouse, or employer looking for information about your gifted grownup you might find this book of use. If you're a gifted grownup hoping for information to help you survive in a world that just doesn't get you (a more common scenario I believe), not so much.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Somewhat repetitive and not necessarily one to read linearly, but still chock full of useful info and resources.

Never once did any k-12 teacher tell me that giftedness doesn't go away with age, and (what's worse) I never thought to ask. I wish I had been aware earlier of what gifted actually means, but I'm glad I know now.

[Catherine Gillespie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Issues of how you relate to others, process information, and navigate life don’t just go away because you finished school. Reading Gifted Grownups was incredibly helpful to me, because it not only pointed out things I know about myself, but gave strategies for dealing with them as an adult.

{Read my full review here}

[LauraW · Rating 3 out of 5]

This isn't as rigorous as I would have liked. It feels a bit dated, especially in light of more recent focus on the stages of growth in gifted adults. Of course, it could be that I just didn't see myself or my problems addressed, so therefore, I deem it lacking.

[Aras · Rating 3 out of 5]

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