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The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models
Divorce rates are at an all-time high. But without a theoretical understanding of the processes related to marital stability and dissolution, it is difficult to design and evaluate new marriage interventions. The Mathematics of Marriage provides the foundation for a scientific theory of marital relations. The book does not rely on metaphors, but develops and applies a mathematical model using difference equations. The work is the fulfillment of the goal to build a mathematical framework for the general system theory of families first suggested by Ludwig Von Bertalanffy in the 1960s.The book also presents a complete introduction to the mathematics involved in theory building and testing, and details the development of experiments and models. In one "marriage experiment," for example, the authors explored the effects of lowering or raising a couple's heart rates. Armed with their mathematical model, they were able to do real experiments to determine which processes were affected by their interventions.
Applying ideas such as phase space, null clines, influence functions, inertia, and uninfluenced and influenced stable steady states (attractors), the authors show how other researchers can use the methods to weigh their own data with positive and negative weights. While the focus is on modeling marriage, the techniques can be applied to other types of psychological phenomena as well.
Applying ideas such as phase space, null clines, influence functions, inertia, and uninfluenced and influenced stable steady states (attractors), the authors show how other researchers can use the methods to weigh their own data with positive and negative weights. While the focus is on modeling marriage, the techniques can be applied to other types of psychological phenomena as well.
436 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 20, 2002
34 people are currently reading
653 people want to read
About the author
John M. Gottman
95 books2,081 followersDr. Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He is the author or co-author of over 200 published academic articles and more than 40 books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; What Makes Love Last; Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love; The Relationship Cure; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail; and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child — among many others. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, Reader’s Digest, and Psychology Today.
Co-founder of The Gottman Institute and co-founder of Affective Software, Inc. with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, John was also the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded “The Love Lab” at which much of his research on couples’ interactions was conducted.
Co-founder of The Gottman Institute and co-founder of Affective Software, Inc. with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, John was also the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded “The Love Lab” at which much of his research on couples’ interactions was conducted.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
October 18, 2014
This is not for the layperson, unless you're a mathematician. And then, it states very clearly that the math has been simplified so the non-math professionals can understand it. So let's be clear, if calculus scares you, don't bother reading. This read like a college dissertation versus an actual book. They clearly outline their theories and their goals and then follow with subsequent scientific and mathematical research and results. As a non-math person and a non-professional in therapy, there was a lot of wading for me to go through in order to get to the point of things.
But despite my limitations, I found the research fascinating. And I liked the results. I first read about Gottman in a Malcolm Gladwell book and I found his whole approach to relationships extremely interesting. I liked that he is using science to help address couples in therapy. And science not in solving their problems but pinpointing where the problems begin. Another reason I liked his research is he didn't limit himself to just heterosexual couples. He devoted an entire chapter to gay couples, both gay men and lesbian couples. The findings compared to heterosexual couples was quite interesting. There were similarities and differences that play important roles in couples therapy. And a good therapist will know what they are, or at least make the attempt in learning them.
I saw at the end that there are other books by Gottman that sound more for the non-professional. I do plan on trying at least one of them out. One of my biggest disappointments of this book is that I had so many questions that a professional would probably not ask. But I was quite pleased by chapter 17 as it gave a lot of great examples of what to look for and what Gottman would do in certain situations.
I would not recommend this to anyone outside the professional therapy field unless you have specific interest in the subject or a lot of time on your hands. But I encourage you to at least take a look at other Gottman books. He made some really great points that as someone in a relationship could use to help make their relationship stronger. You don't need to be in trouble to learn the skills to defuse tension and be better communicators.
One of my favorite statements was comparing looking at negative situations with our partner as similar to how you would handle them with your friend. Example given is you would not say "this evening really disappointed me. I was expecting more intimacy and community and so this friendship is over." Likewise, with your partner, not all your problems are solveable. But how you react to them and your ability to discuss them are.
But despite my limitations, I found the research fascinating. And I liked the results. I first read about Gottman in a Malcolm Gladwell book and I found his whole approach to relationships extremely interesting. I liked that he is using science to help address couples in therapy. And science not in solving their problems but pinpointing where the problems begin. Another reason I liked his research is he didn't limit himself to just heterosexual couples. He devoted an entire chapter to gay couples, both gay men and lesbian couples. The findings compared to heterosexual couples was quite interesting. There were similarities and differences that play important roles in couples therapy. And a good therapist will know what they are, or at least make the attempt in learning them.
I saw at the end that there are other books by Gottman that sound more for the non-professional. I do plan on trying at least one of them out. One of my biggest disappointments of this book is that I had so many questions that a professional would probably not ask. But I was quite pleased by chapter 17 as it gave a lot of great examples of what to look for and what Gottman would do in certain situations.
I would not recommend this to anyone outside the professional therapy field unless you have specific interest in the subject or a lot of time on your hands. But I encourage you to at least take a look at other Gottman books. He made some really great points that as someone in a relationship could use to help make their relationship stronger. You don't need to be in trouble to learn the skills to defuse tension and be better communicators.
One of my favorite statements was comparing looking at negative situations with our partner as similar to how you would handle them with your friend. Example given is you would not say "this evening really disappointed me. I was expecting more intimacy and community and so this friendship is over." Likewise, with your partner, not all your problems are solveable. But how you react to them and your ability to discuss them are.
November 13, 2017
A quite dense yet comprehensible book about FACS and marriage for anyone (even someone with no mathematical background).
June 13, 2020
Except the mathematics that I don't understand, it's a perfect book to know almost everything about love.
February 23, 2021
Good info,
Writting could have been better pressented.
Writting could have been better pressented.
November 8, 2016
Excellent!
February 8, 2009
This is a complete thesis work. Most of the book is with equations and empirical. I skimmed through those parts (most).
Got some talking points from the text though :)
Got some talking points from the text though :)
September 9, 2010
Very interesting analysis of how marriage works (or doesn't) from a nonlinear perspective.
Currently reading
October 19, 201710/18/2017
[[two chapters in, and I wanted to leave a note about how I started this book and what I have felt so far]]
I consider optimism as my key strength, but when it comes to work or logic, I tend to become very pessimistically realistic; if I expect something to be nearly impossible to be flawless before starting a task, I oppose or argue against it first. 2 years of work experience have led me to question such attitude and to encourage myself to acknowledge the value of pursuit in spite of such challenges.
My manager recommended me this book when I told him jovially (not at all in a serious setting) that as an economist-wannabe, I sometimes find it difficult to convince myself social phenomena can be explained or modeled with economics, for the similar reason I just presented. He then handed me this book: The Mathematics of Marriage. I laughed. Disclaimer: I do not look forward to, or even plan to get married - again, for the same ridiculous reason, that I do not expect marriage to be flawless (although I will fail to be that logical in a romantic relationship once I start one). This, combined with a lame excuse that I was busy at work, took me almost a year to actually get started on this book.
I am in chapter 2. It is already challenging my my skeptical view towards mathematical model of a social sciences topic, not because it is nearly perfect, but because it humbly acknowledges the model's flaws, difficulties, and limitations. I am starting to think that maybe if I know where I am going into, it may not be that bad indeed to offer an imperfect explanation for a complicated social issues.
[[two chapters in, and I wanted to leave a note about how I started this book and what I have felt so far]]
I consider optimism as my key strength, but when it comes to work or logic, I tend to become very pessimistically realistic; if I expect something to be nearly impossible to be flawless before starting a task, I oppose or argue against it first. 2 years of work experience have led me to question such attitude and to encourage myself to acknowledge the value of pursuit in spite of such challenges.
My manager recommended me this book when I told him jovially (not at all in a serious setting) that as an economist-wannabe, I sometimes find it difficult to convince myself social phenomena can be explained or modeled with economics, for the similar reason I just presented. He then handed me this book: The Mathematics of Marriage. I laughed. Disclaimer: I do not look forward to, or even plan to get married - again, for the same ridiculous reason, that I do not expect marriage to be flawless (although I will fail to be that logical in a romantic relationship once I start one). This, combined with a lame excuse that I was busy at work, took me almost a year to actually get started on this book.
I am in chapter 2. It is already challenging my my skeptical view towards mathematical model of a social sciences topic, not because it is nearly perfect, but because it humbly acknowledges the model's flaws, difficulties, and limitations. I am starting to think that maybe if I know where I am going into, it may not be that bad indeed to offer an imperfect explanation for a complicated social issues.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews