From Age-ing to Sage-ing: A Revolutionary Approach to Growing Older

by Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, Ronald S. Miller

Over two decades ago, beloved and respected rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi felt an uneasiness. He was growing older, and fears about death and infirmity were haunting him. So he decided to embark on mission to get to the bottom of his fears. Through a series of events that included a vision quest in a secluded cabin and studying with Sufi masters, Buddhist teachers and Native-American shamans, Reb Zalman found a way to turn aging into the most meangful and joyous time in his life. In this inspiring and informative guide, Reb Zalman shares his wisdom and experience with readers. He shows readers how to create an aging process for themselves that is full of adventure, passion, mystery, and fulfillment, rather than anxiety. Using scientific research--both neurological and psychological-- Reb Zalman offers techniques that will expand horizons beyond the narrow view of "the present" into a grand and enduring eternity. By harnessing the power of the spirit, as well as explaining exactly how to become a sage in their own community, he gives readers a helpful and moving way to use their own experiences to nurture, heal, and perhaps even save a younger generation from the prison of how we typically regard aging. In this updated version of his popular book, Reb Zalman has added a brand new introductory chapter that provides insight into the shifts that have taken place in our culture since the first edition of this book came out in the 1990s. He speaks about the role the 78 million (now aging) Baby Boomers are currently playing in how we think about aging. Additionally he provides new inspiring ideas about the importance of an elder's role in shaping society, and explains how elders can embrace the power they have to provide value and wisdom to those around them.

Genres: Spirituality, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Philosophy, Religion, Audiobook

338 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1995

Reviews

[Ruby Grad · Rating 5 out of 5]

For those of us firmly within the stage of life variously known as old age, elderhood, golden years, etc., this is a must-read. Reb Zalman describes both the current arc of ageing and his vision for the future of moving sage-ing, into true elder-hood, where the elderly become elders, still learning and growing, still contributing, and changing the culture to honor aging, to naturally ally with and mentor the young, etc. And his vision is to some extent already reality, as the book was originally written in 1995 and led to the Sage-ing International. Reb Zalman speaks directly to the spiritual growth and development of older folks and Sage-ing presents programs and workshops to that end. I am so happy I stumbled onto Sage-ing and through it to this book.

And I'm looking forward with great anticipation to doing the exercises at the back of the book.

[Joe Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an effort to reclaim the last season of life from a cultural view that values youth and vigor, mature adulthood and accomplishment, but discounts the elder years as nothing more than decline and death. Observing that generally elders cannot compete with 40 & 50-year-olds in terms of stamina and business-like accomplishments, he clarifies that the developmental task for elders is not more of the same work but “harvesting” the fruits of a lifetime of experience and passing on a legacy. My reading of this book came at a good time for me, as I ramped up to my 65th birthday. It was stimulating, provocative, and helpful in creating a customized “rite of passage” ceremony for me on that magical 65th birthday. I would recommend it to any who have an interest in aging—existential or academic or otherwise.

Organization is as follows:

Part One: The Theory of Spiritual Eldering
1. The Vision of Spiritual Eldering
2. Becoming the Possible Sage
3. Elderhood: Past, Present, Future

Part Two: Spiritual Eldering and Personal Transformation
4. The Art of Life Completion
5. Tools for Harvesting Life
6. The Eternity Factor
7. The Conscious Transit at Death

Part Three: Spiritual Eldering and Social Transformation
8. Mentoring: seeding the Future with Wisdom
9. Elders as Healers of Family, Community, and Gaia
10. Spiritual Eldering Comes of Age

Appendix: Exercises for Sages in Training (11 suggested exercises, most probably individual work...described in 19 pages with titles like Approaching Elderhood, The Cycles of Your Life, Turning Points, Journey to Our Future Self, Healing a Painful Memory, Giving Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness, A Testimonial Dinner for the Severe Teachers, Doing Your Philosophic Homework, Scripting Your Last Moments on Earth, Letters of Appeciation, Acting as an Elder of the Tribe.)
Bibliography (4 pages)
About the Authors
About the Spiritual Eldering Institute
Index (11 pages)

[Beverly Flanagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing for me. Reading this book as I was approaching my 65th birthday transformed my view of my role in the scheme of things. Even though there is more behind me, in terms of time, how to maximize what's ahead, despite potentially increasing health issues, significantly decreased my angst about getting older. Even death does not daunt me. Of course as a Christian it doesn't have to, but sensing my mortality was causing me some negative anticipation. MY PURPOSE IS RENEWED AND STRENGTHENED AS I GO INTO MY FUTURE. Part of that purpose now is to share with others in my stage of life what I am learning and to receive from them what they are learning.

[Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

Laborious read but, in the end, worth it. Much like taking a chalky medicine by mouth. There is important perspective and wisdom in the book for those of us growing older. Words like "retirement" and "sunset years" and "nursing homes" make us all dread getting old. Challenges like mentoring and giving back the experience and wisdom we have gained for the benefit of the world sounds like an exciting future. His comment that dying is nothing to fear--after all, everyone who has encountered it so far has succeeded--takes some of the sting out of the prospect. Not a read I would recommend for a young person.

[Kara Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn this was a great book but incredibly depressing that it was written in 1995 and none of the great ideas have been integrated into our culture. How many decades will it take?!

[Carolyn Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book for those moving into their sage-ing years. Even though this was written about 20 years ago, Rabbi Zalman had his finger on the pulse of something big that was/is happening. He has reframed this time of life in terms of mental, physical, emotional, social and spiritual growth. This last stage of life allows people to ask questions and explore avenues of life that there was neither the time or the interest to explore at earlier times. He leaves us with a sense of exhilaration and possibility for inner change and the change we can make in the world.

[Mark Bourdon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was written in 1995 and reissued in 2014 with an updated preface and afterward. It is still relevant today and the work outlined in the book is still relevant today as well. We still have work to do to uplift those in the 63 + years of life. The authors challenge us to continue to demonstrate our relevance as wisdom keepers, spiritual elders, mentors and guides. The exercises in the appendix are wonderful and I see myself taking deliberate time to explore my thoughts, feeling and actions as I continue to grow into the October, November and December phases of my life.

I would encourage you to read this before you get to retirement age, but if you are retired or eldering, this may offer insights that could improve your life experiences and expectations.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

The right book at the right time in my life: searching for meaning, feeling the pull of personal projects I have not made enough time for, and wondering what’s to come. The author prescribes thought exercises to identify one’s own priorities and outlines a future where we return elders to a state of respect. Today’s media often portrays seniors as either doddering and confused or competing head-to-head with younger generations. Reb Zalman suggests a number of ways elders can coalesce, unite, and help bring about real change on key societal issues, climate action, and more. Plus more reasons to exercise and meditate regularly!

[Karen Shilvock-Cinefro · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book had many great ideas. All ages could benefit and gain from a more connected life. All ages have so much to offer yet society has labeled and segmented life. Having listened to this book on audible I did not like the voice for this book. I would have enjoyed a kinder and less business voice.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book quite awhile ago and need to pick it back up. It was one of the first books I read that discussed spiritual aging from a broad perspective.

[Richard Thompson · Rating 2 out of 5]

As I age, I want to avoid becoming a cranky complaining old person who makes life hard for those around me. I can't imagine that I would ever sink into boredom or lethargy because there is so much that interests me that I want to be, do and discover, and much of it can be done without getting off my couch, though I also enjoy exercise, being outside and doing other active things that I will do as well as I can for as long as I can. I also know that I have a tendency toward silence and isolation. I can easily become absorbed in my own world of things that interest me but that my friends and family don't care about so much. From what I have read, the best way to flourish in old age is through meaningful relationships with other people, which I have, but which I sometimes fear is my weakest link.

So I look for help in guiding me toward being the person I want to be as I get older, which led me to participate in an online class about aging for which this book is the text. There are parts of this book that resonated strongly for me. I agree with the author that my older years will give me opportunities for spiritual growth, creativity, using my mind in new ways and developing new kinds of social connections. I look forward to that and hope that I can do it well. So the basic program in the book is a good one that I want to follow, but then it goes off the rails in so many ways that I have trouble endorsing the book as a whole.

First, there is the ongoing metaphor of harvesting that runs through the book. I don't want to see my older years as a time of harvesting. Ugh. Stubble in the brown fields being picked over by doves before they are plowed under. A moment of plenty and celebration before winter comes. No, no, no. I want continuity and growth in new directions. And I don't want to gather up the riches I have sown. I want to keep sowing and sharing and discovering.

And then there is the fatuous neuroscience - the brain is not a hard disc with new untapped regions that can be "formatted" for use as we age. That metaphor is wrong on every level. I'm also not good with the obsession with death aka thanatos, even though he tries to rename it and pretend that it is a healthy acceptance, rather than an obsession. The chapter discussing life after death did nothing for me. And finally, I don't think that I ever want to see myself as a sage. I hope that I have some goodness and good ideas that I can successfully share with people. If I have learned things that I can pass along to others who want to learn, that's good, and I want to do that. But the idea of becoming a sage as either an aspiration or a positive self-image is not for me.

So the book didn't work for me, except perhaps in the most important sense possible - that it is helping to keep me on a path of learning and interacting with other people so that I can continue to have a good life as I get older.

[Gabrielle Jarrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed and was inspired by Schachter-Shalomi's book on aging. I chose it because I loved his book on Jewish Renewal. His wisdom, compassion, and teachings are a joy. The book is loaded with examples, guidelines, and experiences of others to aid in becoming an Elder instead of getting only older, then old. The examples of other cultures are enviable. America does not honor Elders...
Giving back in whatever form is rewarding on most levels. He presents the need to recognize, accept, and rest when our bodies are tired. (As opposed to push, push, and push.) Journaling and self-reflection within a Life Review process as well as meditation, includes journeying to our Future Self. Again, patience, humor, and gratitude accompany us on this courageous mission. We can honor ourselves for all we have endured, chosen, changed, and where we have succeeded.
I especially like his quote from an Anglican bishop. "My prayer life isn't verbal anymore. My best prayer is to it back and let God love me."

[Eve · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great topic, some excellent ideas, and once in a while, inspirational. The problem is that it was too "dense," meandering, ruminating, and put forth a vision in 1995 that hasn't really taken off. A great idea, but unfortunately, not realistic. Maybe for a very few enlightened people - particularly those with lots of money to attend workshops, retreats, and to live in enlightened communities. It's so ... Marin County, the 1970s - with it's good points, and with its self-indulgence, coupled with a call to action to make the world a better place. Yes, Elders can be instrumental in that. Message received, over and over again. I got the message which could be given in an article. I am somewhat glad I read it, but had to plod through it due to the way it was written, and its repetitive nature. I am positive that the author was a truly wonderful man, and applaud his vision, but ... as a book ... meh!

[Dennis Fischman · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book because my 89=year-old mother, z"l, liked it and used to refer to it quite often. Sorry, Mom.

Perhaps in 1995 it was necessary to say that old age is not merely a death trap and that people can do fascinating things in their 70's and 80's. For me, perhaps because of my mother's example, that's a given. The book swings too far in the other direction, hardly acknowledging the health problems, physical and mental limits, and financial crises that many people face in old age.

It also focuses on what individuals can do instead of what society can do to make old age an easier, more fruitful time and to encourage younger people to ask for stories and wisdom from elders.

Not for me, a 65-year-old who's been devoted to friends, family, and tikkun olam all his life. I look forward to reading more helpful books about eldering.

[Marguerite MacLean · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is going to be one of those books I refer to again and again. I already put it back in my TBR pile. There is just so much information to absorb. The idea that instead of fearing getting older we treat it like the next step in our learning adventure. Become quiet advocates for ourselves and face the future aware and in control. The book brings up the importance of diet and exercise and also being present. Meditation is mentioned quite a bit. It's never too late, or for some of us too early to start to make deliberate choices to have a fruitful and fulfilling older life. Just as we went from school to work, now we can go from work to school, only this time around, we are the teachers or as they use the term Elders. Passing on the knowledge of a life lived.

[Aliza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aging is a subject that began to interest me as I entered my 6th decade of living. One of my favorite books is Ram Dass's Still Here but that book now has serious competition in From Age-ing to Sage-ing. Well-written and thought-provoking, this is a book that every thinking person should read. A new way of looking at growing and being old.
I had the great good fortune of meeting the author once who graciously agreed to meet with me in spite of being in ill health when I had the nerve to request a meeting, finding myself in Boulder, CO, at one point. An amazing person with a mind which might have inspired the concept of thinking outside the box.
I not only bought and have cherished this book but have bought it for many friends and relatives.

[Tracy Blanchard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great thesis. All on board with it. But unbelievably repetitive. Could have been 1/2 the length or less. Hence, became infuriating and exasperating. Only finished because for a class. Was there an editor assigned to this book or what?

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A description of options available for creating a spiritual richness in elderhood. Inspiring. Thought provoking. An anitdote to negative stereotypes of aging. A reminder that there is beauty and potential in all seasons.

[Meredith · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is dated. I like "60 On Up" much better.

[Rae Simpson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Minuteman. So-so.

[Patricia Hallahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though first published in 1995 in the US, this book holds a light we can use on how to become an elder in our times and in different places. It illuminates options for a hope filled future and provides the tools to explore how we can do so. I will be returning to this book to do the exercises and plan my own exciting elderhood.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book I’ll be buying! I will also explore further these concepts of Eldering and finding ways to give back to others.

[Josephine Ensign · Rating 2 out of 5]

More than a bit woo-woo, which detracted from the value of the content of the book for me. Still, there were enough interesting and more solid parts to keep me reading.

[Susan]

Read with women's group

[Wren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi writes a lovely book with the help of Ronald S. Miller aimed at describing the richness available to people in their final stages of adulthood. Popular culture depicts aging as a series of losses to be suffered. This book counters this view with a very detailed look at the intellectual, spiritual, emotional and social opportunities available to people in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and beyond.

At times, I found the book arguing a bit for an introvert's approach to life. The authors encourage meditation, journal writing, reading and other solitary tasks. I am an extrovert, and I felt as though I was being asked to do a lot of introvert work in order to claim these riches.

Yes, these introspective tasks are great for balance, but a lot of research on aging points towards social engagement as a key to quality of life. The authors do talk about the importance of intergenerational relationships, particularly the mentor relationship. So I might just be overly sensitive when reading about invitations for pursuing more alone time activities.

It's hard to summarize the book, because much of the advice has to do with developing a stance towards the world rather than adopting a certain "to do" list. It's so filled with spiritual and philosophical insight that it took me longer than usual to finish it. I fully plan on rereading it every 5 years or so as I move towards eldering. I have a feeling that I just don't "get" everything he's saying since I am only 52 right now.

In any case, I highly recommend this book for people in late midlife who want to keep developing and growing in the decades to come. The book draws on a lot of other publications on the topic and presents narratives about several older adults striving for wisdom as they age. Rabbi Schachter-Shalomi has conducted many workshops around the country for older adults seeking more information on how to become a sage. Consequently, he has many stories to share from participants.

A lovely, powerful book.

[Arthur Gershman · Rating 4 out of 5]

My attraction to the first named author, Zalman Schachter-Shalomi was due to his reputation as a cabalist, the Jewish practice of mysticsm. When I bought and first read this book, in 1995, I was a mere 48 years old, much too young to put its sage advice into practice. This book is for the retired, and even then is not for everyone. When I lent it to my retired friend in California with whom I swap jokes on the internet, her comment was "Although it was a difficult read, bogged down in places, and I didn't like how it was written, it did say a lot of important things and was worth reading" 3-4 stars would't you say?
In any event, the authors discuss the "theory of spiritual eldering." There are several paths one may take in eldering. First, however, the authors confront the "conscious transit of death." In part three of the book the authors discuss "Spirual Eldering and Social Transformation." This section includes mentoring and elders as healers of family, community, and Gaia-the living Earth.
Finally, an appendix is provided which includes exercises for sages in training.
If you are retired or facing retirement and are at a loss for how to lead a productive life in your 'golden years' your time would be well spent in looking this book over.

[Bruce Dayman · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book had some useful information. It was a bit New Agey. I agree that it's important to consider life differently as you get past 60 and even 50. Momento mori. We must all consider our mortality. It's a good discipline to do from time to time. I also agree that spirituality is a necessary component of aging. Much of what the author wrote I have practiced at various seasons of life. I felt encouraged to do more journaling. I think some of the exercises in the appendix are helpful for anyone.

The book does bring out the concept of eldership which needs more attention and the role of a sage. The authors provide some helpful advice here. Wisdom receives appropriate emphasis. The need for being in community as you age is also a vital goal. Although all thse things are great I felt the book tended to lag a bit as I progressed. Everyone knows baby boomers are aging and that it is a phenomenon that is going to impact the world. I like that eldership is receiving recognition in our child-centred culture. To this end the authors have done a great job.

[Rach]

A beautiful and far-reaching study into the possibilities for late adulthood. Might we look at growing older with a sense of personal mission and awe, instead of "declining" or "resting on our laurels" or passively "accepting" the end stages of life? A glimpse into the possibilities for gaining a wider vista and insight with age; of becoming a mentor, healer, and sage to those who have yet to complete the journey. A worthy read.

[Nvd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book, for enjoying and making worth while, the final third of one's life in this existence. I am currently harvesting my life (prompted by the ideas in the book) and gaining a lot of wisdom from the process. However, to appreciate this book, you really need to have reached a certain level of spiritual maturity.

[Kat C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this one for work. I like a lot of the points he makes, but the tone is far too New Agey for me. Also, this isn't really a book meant to be read all at once, but a bit at a time with periods of contemplation built in. Maybe I'll come back to it in a couple of decades.