Narcissism and Intimacy: Love and Marriage in an Age of Confusion

by Marion F. Solomon

In our culture we demand a great deal from our intimate relationships―and we are often disappointed. This book not only reveals the social and psychological factors that lead to marital unhappiness, but also offers guidelines for change. Solomon starts by uncovering certain pervasive narcissistic myths and exploring what it means to be intimate in a culture that values autonomy and self-fulfillment above all. She shows that experiences in early childhood can lead to narcissistic vulnerability in later relationships. Case examples from her practice clarify how two individuals' feeling states and defenses mesh in the marital system and how the attempt to defend against emotional injury creates barriers to intimacy. The second part of the book focuses on treatment and on ways to change.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Relationships, Nonfiction

236 pages, Paperback

First published February 15, 1989

Reviews

[catinca.ciornei · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ending phrase of this book: “it has been a basic assumption of this book that solid marital relationships are of such value that we need to develop a theory of dynamic marital therapy as a specific discipline with a focus on realizing the potential of a secure, intimate relationship for emotional health”. Society is narcissistic (“confusion between responsability to others and obligation to oneself”), marriage is much more important than we superficially treat it in our culture nowadays, and psychotherapy can help us manage it better. The author, a renowned psychotherapist, explains how to do this, or at least with what framework to start. This is a how-to-do book for professionals, but the approach and the language are so well structured that it opens up to a layperson also. It was a very interesting read (although at times I may not agree or find arguments persuasive), and I’ll venture to say that it stands well the test of time - it’s written in 1989.

[Rhonda G.]

drama of the gifted child

[Jonathan Ridenour · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It did a great job moving past Narcissim as a personality disorder to the root causes of it. It also looked at the core issues of intimacy and relationships. A good fit for an Object Relations psychologist.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

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