This Is Not Who I Am: Our Authenticity Obsession

by Emily Bootle

In contemporary culture, there is no stronger imperative than to be authentic. But what does authenticity actually mean? Everywhere we turn, we are urged to “live our truth”: an element of Western culture that is almost never questioned. Authenticity in all its contexts is becoming more significant than ever as digital culture breeds fakery and capitalism offers the illusion of infinite choice. In this climate, finding and being yourself is a more complex idea than it sounds - one that should not necessarily be taken as doctrine.

In this book of sharp, lively essays, the writer and journalist Emily Bootle explores how authenticity has pervaded every facet of our culture, from modern celebrity and identity politics to Instagram captions and wellness. Blending pop culture and philosophy, This Is Not Who I Am dismantles the ideology surrounding being ourselves at all costs, and questions what fuels our obsession with authenticity.


A very elegant and sharp-eyed series of essays. Emily Bootle asks all the right questions about the changes social media is forcing upon our sense of self, what the public now expects from its celebrities and artists, and the extent to which the modern world has turned us all into performers. Jonathan Coe

Timely and compelling ... This Is Not Who I Am offers a sharp commentary on the pervasiveness of “authenticity-culture” and probes its contradictions. The Monthly

‘Emily Bootle is one of our shrewdest and wittiest cultural critics... Turning her gimlet eye on the influencer economy, Kim Kardashian, astrology, artisanal coffee, Jane Austen, and the kind of man who considers himself "a creative, which is to say he has a humanities degree", Bootle exposes the fundamental collective delusion that links all of the above - our insistence on cultivating and exhibiting a single "authentic" self.’ Anna Leszkiewicz - Associate Editor, Culture, New Statesman

‘At a time when the personal has become deeply political, and vice versa, it's hard not to look at yourself in your front cam and think - in your best inner Nikki Grahame voice - "who is she"? Here, Emily Bootle has dared to poke an entire family of bears. From celebrity relatability through to personal branding, the wellness industry and the dominant narrative of "living your truth", this is a fascinating deep dive into the most lucrative and fractured phenomenon of the post-internet our selves’ Emma Garland - Culture Writer

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays

142 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 8, 2022

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This caught my eye in Waterstones with its bright (and, appropriately, very millennial) cover. It appears to be the second book from a new indie publisher, Ortac Press, which "specialises in non-fiction writing on art, culture, music and social science." (Their first book being Flower Factory: A Fairy Tale which also looks right up my street.)

Emily Bootle's debut is a collection of six essays centered on the theme of "authenticity". It is a collection I thoroughly enjoyed - an engaging mixture which is underpinned by literary backreading and made relatable with contemporary references. Recommended!

[Kira · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an incredibly fascinating dive into why society is so obsessed with 'authenticity' and living our most 'authentic' life. Mapping the increase in this ideology as social media gained popularity and 'influencer' became a legitimate career option, Bootle explores the anxieties and unrealistic expectations striving for authenticity puts on us and also looks at the redundancy of it - those we view as authentic are often posing as a character, or performing, and essentially being inauthentic. A very relevant and intriguing analysis of society, pop culture and fame.

[Vivi · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a good book and it got me thinking a lot about the concept of authenticity but I sort of put it on a pedestal as something that will fix my own need for validation and authenticity. I had too high expectations 🫠
I was on a bit of a rollercoaster, at time believing the author is more chronologically online than I am and not understanding and other times thinking I must be more chronologically online because I see further layers. It made me think of echo chambers in media and the book is a reflection of the bubble the author is in so it will be different for me. Every influencer mentioned I had to google although I am very online and most of the media I consume is online. On the other hand when talking about traditional celebrities I knew all of them (Kim K, Jennifer Laurence, J Lo etc) I don’t really know celebrities but traditional media is not as much of an echo chamber.
On a dumb note I also was curious what the author thinks/ personal experience because the book had a lot of quotes from others. I realise that’s exactly the point that no one ows anyone authenticity. Maybe that’s just a testament of how much we expect others to confess where they stand just as the others said.
There’s this part where Bootle talks about millennials “not being able to adult” and blaming them for not leaning adulting skills (exp given is sending an electricity reading) instead of making it a part of their identity “I can’t adult”. I would have said I’m more chronically online here but I think it’s because I said that phrase before and I perceive it differently. I think it’s not about identity or skills it’s about challenging the existance of “adults” completely. It’s the realisation of a young adult that no one knows what their doing and everyone pretended before. It’s choosing to reject that identity and admit uncertainty. I guess it is about authenticity but it’s hard to define how different people perceive sayings, multiple truth and all that.
The internet concept discussed and few and pretty superficial, that’s what I expected more from but as I was reading I also realised how fast internet changes and a relatively recent book can become outdated so fast so maybe there was no point to go in depth in a book when it will be old news tomorrow. For example the therapy obsession in 2021 where everyone romanticise going to therapy as catch all solution, raise of therapist speak like “toxic”, “dump him”. The author fairly criticised it but by now people are already having more in depth and nuanced discussions(or they are in my echo chamber). I find that trends happen but trends to often follow them is a criticism that adds nuance to the previous trend, I love that for us.

I think I needed further explanation from the author of what is being criticised and why, it felt very rushed and left me with more questions than answers. Maybe I didn’t understand the book, I just don’t know ok 😣

Finally I’m not sure authenticity is that bad of a trend… I started this keen to be a hater along with the author but ended up thinking I’m glad the internet is moving in a direction where we don’t need to put on masks and everyone is doing their best to encourage each others to do what feels right. I’m not sure if this was the intention of the book but it made me a bit more optimistic at how much power us as internet users have over celebrities and brands. I didn’t get answers to how to stop caring about “who I am” but I came out a bit more optimist about social media and with a bit more trust in people. A win is a win.

[Gabrielle Anagnostopoulos · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars, honestly nearly perfect.

This book is comprised of 6 essays on the concept of authenticity, and how it's reflected in pop culture.

Each of the essays covers a different topic, from celebrity culture, to social media, the increasing popularity of therapy and the use of branding (both personal and corporate).

I found each essay extremely interesting, and the author balances theory with real life examples from the last 5 years so the book never tips over into tedium.

Highly recommend!! I highlighted a ton of really great sections.

[Aušrinė · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very nice, short and easy to read. I wish I could read more (or longer versions) of some of the essays.

Also I loved that the book was exactly what it says it is - a book about authenticity and out obsession with it, I felt like I got exactly what I wanted.

[Elli Flitton · Rating 5 out of 5]

very thought provoking!!

[Diyora · Rating 5 out of 5]

brilliant, really though provoking!

especially enjoyed the essay on products

[Georgia Lamb · Rating 5 out of 5]

just so good

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like I was too dumb to completely 100% get this, but overall I really enjoyed it! I loved the modern references of Fleabag, Kim Kardashian and Caroline Calloway.

[Morgan Holdsworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

having never heard of the author or the publisher, but intrigued by the topic i thought i’d pick this up. it was a really enjoyable read, authenticity within the contemporary world clearly has roots in a myriad of areas so well worth the read.

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite book this year.

[Sascha Hinz-Pinet · Rating 4 out of 5]

A quick and “easy” read using relevant and modern example as to why living your true authentic self has become increasingly hard throughout the year. Although I couldn’t help but feel irritated at certain points, perhaps because there was an evident biased opinion about certain topics approached, and I guess it felt more judgemental than critical at some points, but perhaps I’m just getting offended as a Gen-Z that was born in a world and society where social media is an inevitable way of getting into certain industries, such as the creative and artistic one, which is where I lie.

Perhaps I need a second read a few years down the line, but I thought it was overall well written. I was surprised that the author didn’t mention Guy Debord “Society of the Spectacle”, as this collection of critical essays seems like a modern twist to Debords theory.

[Luca Anderson-Muller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super dense and comprehensive, in such a short space of time. No obfuscation, ambitious and a thorough scholarly base - neat and engaging, contemporary.

It's a bit poetically deflated, stylistically stiff to be an amazing literary work - and needs an extra layer of analysis to be an amazing academic work' but it's really great.

[Polina Saiapina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to know the author’s opinion, but it was mostly quotes.

I didn’t connect with this book. Maybe one day I’ll reread it and see something different in it, but for now, I had to push myself to finish it

[Francesca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is gold. Emily Bootle's analysis dissects the obsession for authenticity through multiple angles. I admire her writing and her lucidity on this topic.

[Ellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four stars and not five because now I'm sat here contemplating everything :)

[Sadhbh O'Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this series of essays. The first two were interesting but I found the rest increasingly compelling. A lot to think about and reflect on, highly recommend.

[Chloe Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75

[Tania · Rating 4 out of 5]

Massive food for thought. A deep dive into the facets of what we consider “”authenticity”” and its omnipresence in our lives, especially since the explosion of social media. Some chapters more thought provoking or interesting that others, although I appreciate the intent to diversify the contexts

[Chris Deeks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Live your truth. Be your most authentic self. Find and know yourself.

Emily Bootle’s meticulous collection of essays skewers these supposed adages and how they have pervaded every aspect of modern culture.

In ‘This Is Not Who I Am’, Bootle examines why there is so much emphasis on the imperative to be authentic, and how the current climate of late stage capitalism, digital culture, and the evolving state of both art and celebrity, makes the search for authenticity (and the attainment of a state of being authentic) far more complicated than it seems. Bootle also questions the very foundation of societies obsession with authenticity, and whether it has the value that modern culture has put upon its shoulders and whether the concept of being authentic should be able to wield the power that it currently does.

Each essay takes on a primary topic, with the evolution and ideology of authenticity at the essay’s core. Bootle takes us through celebrity, art, product, identity, purity and confession - probing her subject matter in unexpected and delightful ways. For instance, in the celebrity portion, Bootle shows the evolution of what it means to be authentic as a celebrity, as the very notion of celebrity itself changes. From enigmatic movie stars, to reality TV sensations, and social media influencers. Making the idea of an authentic celebrity full of hypocrisies and impossible contradictions. It is the way Bootle reveals these hypocrisies that shows how hard it is to even pin down a definition of the word authentic, in any topic.

It is an illuminating examination of why society is obsessed with authenticity, and all the contradictions that are inherent in striving for it as an ideal virtue or signal of value. Bootle has created a selection of essays that simultaneously read as academic studies and enthralling page turners, covering enormous and well researched ground in a short and punchy collection.

[Fred · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF. Not a book for me. Maybe if you're terminally online, unable to separate social media from reality and rendered miserable by celebrities appearing better than you this would be worthwhile.