Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter

by Melody Beattie

“Melody Beattie gives you the tools to discover the magnificence and splendor of your being.” — Deepak Chopra, author of Jesus and Buddha

 “Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift.” — Time magazine

From the New York Times bestselling author of Codependent No More, The Language of Letting Go, Finding Your Way Home, Journey to the Heart, and Stop Being Mean to Yourself, comes powerful wisdom and insight about how to make the best choices in our lives from the author who revolutionized how we look at relationships.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Relationships, Spirituality

274 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2002

About the author

Melody Beattie was an American self-help author best known for her groundbreaking work on codependency. Born in 1948 in Minnesota, she endured a traumatic childhood marked by abuse and early substance addiction. After achieving sobriety, she became a licensed addiction counselor and began writing to help others navigate emotional recovery. Her 1986 book Codependent No More became a bestseller, selling eight million copies and helping to bring the concept of codependency into mainstream awareness. Over her career, she authored 18 books, including Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, and Make Miracles in Forty Days. Though her work is often associated with Co-Dependents Anonymous, her books were independent of the program.
Beattie’s personal life reflected many of the struggles she addressed in her work, including four marriages and the loss of a son. Her writing often drew from her own experiences with grief, addiction, and healing. In early 2025, she was forced to evacuate her Malibu home due to wildfires and died shortly after at her daughter’s home in Los Angeles from heart failure.

Reviews

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Choices" by Melody Beattie is a unique non-fiction book. I've never encountered anything like it before. Normally it takes me forever to read non-fiction, but she sprinkles in stories and scenarios that are interesting to read and help her make the point in each chapter that she is trying to convey. "Choices" is filled with a lot of truth and many useful lessons about how we make choices all the time whether we realize it or not. Some parts (the stuff about reincarnation and spiritual journeys in Tibet) were kind of hokey because they contradicted the Judeo-Christian thoughts that made the most sense to me.

For the most part this book was helpful and could be life-changing for people who feel stuck in their lives. We are not just victims of negative circumstances, but can use our life experiences to grow as a person. She says that we get the most out of life when we take our eyes off ourselves and use our hard-earned lessons to help others. This is a very Christian principle. I've found it to be true in my life.

I highlighted a lot of things on my kindle that she wrote because I wanted to ponder them later. Life is a journey that we can enjoy or fall victim to in our minds. What we think about, what we dwell on, and the choices we make are ours alone. They do influence us on a daily basis. Faith is a key to unlocking all of the above.

I found this book to be inspirational and compulsively readable. I read over the reincarnation stuff but didn't find it to be helpful because it contradicts and confuses the other message. Melody is a fantastic writer and has a lot of useful insights. I would recommend this book as a tool for people to help them change their perspective. It contains a lot of nuggets of truth that are worth digging up. I feel more empowered as a person because of this book, and that makes it a book worth reading.

[Gwendolyn Broadmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful, true, and ever current! Published in 2003, Choices is my "go to" book, and I've read it countless times. Thank you, Melody, for your consistent inspiration. When the challenges of life close in, as they sometimes do, a book like this one reminds us that the choice belongs to us, even when it's a "hard call." Melody Beattie has the uncanny and gifted ability to reach right through the pages to gently hold the reader's hand.
Gwendolyn Broadmore, author, Life Came to a Standstill.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love melody beattie’s wisdom, and this book included many things to consider. I will be reading this again.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

A yoga teacher of mine is a fan of this writer so I picked this up. Started out strong and it's an easily digestible read, but somewhat superficial in terms of spiritual concepts. Standard new-age with a vague, poorly defined God/higher power bent and a dash of Tibetan Buddhism thrown in for good measure. Disorganized in places and sometimes hard to see how the stories exemplified the lesson/theme at the end of each chapter. Nonetheless there a few nuggets of wisdom in there. It comes at a time in my life where I'm facing some difficult choices, so it's a worthwhile read if you find yourself at a crossroads and need some empowerment.

[Mckinley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Self-help with a Christian bent. Choices have consequences. Starts with cause and effect, talks about living in the mystery (here the process of becoming real), linking (past work on?) codependency with being grateful (that "when you learn your lessons, the pain goes away), one step at a time that works for you, give of yourself, all with God's help.

[Sharon Tice · Rating 5 out of 5]

You never know what you don't know til someone shares their personal journeys.

I needed this information, see it printed out in front of me. What I know is that it will take my lifetime of choices to live my lifetime! I have recommended this book to other friends, with similar life experiences as mine. Thank you Meldid for listening to your inner voice and sharing your walk.

[Carleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

"After all those years of waiting to be chosen, we finally get to choose." -Melody Beattie

"I've found the oddest thing happens throughout my life when I've practiced the Golden Rule. When I give to most people - whether it's love, compassion, forgiveness or money - the person I give to doesn't necessarily give back to me. Usually they want more." -Melody Beattie

[Susan McMillin]

I generally read and get a lot out of Melody Beattie's books. This one is no different with the exception of my personal preference and taste. I am not a fan of reincarnation etc. I can glean from each of her stories with the exception of the new age references. Just my personal preference.

[Janene Greenhill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing .. calming to mind body soul

Definitely a go to book to calm the Mind body soul .. grounding and realistic .. totally able to relate and implement strategies into everyday living circumstances

[Sanja · Rating 2 out of 5]

Confused

All those snippets from life of so many people, that were so short that I don't know what really happened to them, jumbled together with various sentences by other random people, left me confused. The title is not delivered for me.

[H M Klein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book

Another great and helpful book from Melody. Some new, some from before. No preaching just plain helpful insights and an interesting look at free will.

[Deb Tokarz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melody Beattie is one of my favorite and doesn't disappoint in her wisdom. Also, love her "The Language of Letting Go" app from Hazelden Publishing.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A reality-check of a book about the power and consequence of choices large and small, and no matter what the circumstances and situations of life are. Beattie is compassionate and real, calming and straight-talking. Her work is so important to codependents everywhere, although I would say that the insight about choices in this book can apply to everyone at some point in their lives.

[Hilary "Fox" · Rating 3 out of 5]

Where Stop Being Mean to Yourself largely failed to engage me Choices consistently engaged me. I breezed through this book quickly, and felt that that the end of it I had indeed learned something. It's nice to find a self-help book that consistently maintains such a positive outlook on life, and on all that a person can accomplish therein. Melody Beattie tends to be relentlessly upbeat while also continuing to approach the topics of self-improvement from a blunt, no hold's barred sort of way. But with good humor. There are just hard truths we all have to face.

Choices is broken down into short narratives about people that the author has helped and met throughout her life. Some of them are Melody's own experiences, but most are those of others. Each story ends with some questions, some contemplation, and a small quote that sums up what one would likely take away from the chapter. All in all, it breaks down to the fact that there are difficult choices and not so difficult choices one needs to make in their life in order to live it to its fullest extent. It won't always be easy, but deep down you know what is right and it is always worth doing what is right over what it easy.

[Tanya Harrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the type of book that you want to savor like a cup of tea. It's nice and relaxing to take small sips or read small samples at a time in order to enjoy and absorb all of these wonderful and meaningful stories. It's a book for improving your life and uplifting your spirit.

Her writing style is very engaging. When you see how many books she's written you'll understand why.

[Andrea M · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a book with lots of anecdotes from people on the things that have happened in their life and the consequences of their choices. I thought it was decidedly non-religious. I didn't really find the book that helpful.

[Gatlianne Gatlianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I almost read this book in one sitting. Beattie has a lovely way of laying her point out there in a simplistic yet profound way. This book was one of those quite life changers. It doesn't rattle you. It doesn't shake you out of your stupor. It very gently helps you wake up.

[Kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot a great information and ideas to think about.

[Larry Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great book by Melody Beattie is one of my favorite Authors.
Reading her books I always feel they were written for me.
Thank you Melody

[Charisma Tandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fabulous! Reading it for the 2nd time. Taking notes and highlighting this time.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Life changing.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book