Keeping Kids Out of the Middle: Child-Centered Parenting in the Midst of Conflict, Separation, and Divorce

by Benjamin D. Garber

Decades of psychological research has taught us that divorce need not harm children. The damage is done when kids are triangulated into adult conflict, with or without the formalities of marriage or divorce. Enlisted as infantrymen in an adult war, these kids are at tremendous risk for serious social, emotional, educational and health concerns. Dr. Benjamin Garber –child psychologist, Guardian ad litem, Parenting Coordinator, national speaker and award winning author- paints the picture of the children triangulated into their caregivers' conflict with bold strokes. This is the first book to present this epidemic of childhood as it exists beyond the legalities of divorce. In doing so, Dr. Garber gives us here-and-now useful strategies with which to improve our co-parenting and to keep our kids out of the middle. Dr. Garber brings his background in child and family development, his expertise as a court-appointed evaluator and his deep compassion for children's wellbeing to the task of helping us to better meet our kids' needs. Keeping Kids Out Of The Middle! gives parents and child-centered professionals alike the tools with which Improve child-centered communication even among highly conflicted co-parents Make child-centered decisions about the future of the adult relationship 'Script' adult conflict and family transition so that the kids hear one, consistent message Answer children's painful and provocative questions Create child-centered post-separation and post-divorce parenting plans Recognize and minimize the kids' risk of being adultified, parentified, infantilized and alienated Anticipate and respond to 'visitation' resistance and refusal Keeping Kids Out of the Middle! is both a title and a mandate. Its about the health of the next generation. Keeping Kids Out of the Middle! is required reading in the ancient art of cooperative caregiving.

315 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 11, 2008

Reviews

[Suzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book for any couple not in complete agreement on how to parent. Cleraly written with wonderful examples and suggestions. Assumes that both parents are willing and capable of putting their differences aside, which is not always the case.

[Ann Drewiske · Rating 4 out of 5]

Valuable and helpful insight.

[Alyssa Griffin]

I don’t want to give this book stars because it was hard to read through my own personal traumas. It’s not the authors fault.