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Nine Hundred Grandmothers

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Here at last are the finest of Lafferty's shorter works, stories about - * A man who found one day that he knew absolutely everyone in the world *A race who kept their most ancient ancestors on shelves in the basements * A speeded-up world where a man could earn and lose a dozen fortunes a night. * Friendly bearlike creature named snuffles who said he was God ...in all, twenty-one immensely enjoyable stories that will continue to delight you long after you've finished reading them.

318 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1970

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About the author

R.A. Lafferty

541 books312 followers
Raphael Aloysius Lafferty, published under the name R.A. Lafferty, was an American science fiction and fantasy writer known for his original use of language, metaphor, and narrative structure, as well as for his etymological wit. He also wrote a set of four autobiographical novels, a history book, and a number of novels that could be loosely called historical fiction.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
Profile Image for Matthew Gatheringwater.
156 reviews1 follower
April 17, 2008
After reading this collection of short stories, my first introduction to Lafferty, I realized he isn't interested in many of the standard trappings of science fiction. His aliens are more like elemental forces than detailed cultures. Technology is presented in an off-hand fashion, as if sentient computers, transcendent machines, or faster-than-light travel were the inevitable and not very interesting byproducts of human civilization. His stories don't seem intent upon inspiring wonder. Instead, they may take us half-way across the galaxy in order to see ourselves clearly. It is a little like the galactic missionary in The Name of the Snake who, transported to a planet inhabited by gargoyles, cries, "Oh, for the old familiar sins that one can get hold of and denounce!" Lafferty's stories suggest that, however far we travel from home, we are essentially the same people, looking for the same things.

What Lafferty does appear to be interested in is a cruel and often humorous justice, illustrated by fatal misunderstandings of the human condition. He repeatedly argues, for example, that no amount of technology can circumvent human folly. This perspective makes his stories read like fables in which the moral is left to the imagination--a different kind of speculative fiction, perhaps, but one I like.



Profile Image for Theo Logos.
1,282 reviews290 followers
July 22, 2022
Lafferty's books were labeled science fiction by default. No one could figure what else to call them, and you had to shelve them somewhere. Sure, some of them give a nod to sci/fi tropes, and all of them are fantastical, but if you are looking for traditional science fiction you should keep on moving; Lafferty isn't likely what you have in mind.

Some have described what Lafferty actually created as tall tales or shaggy dog stories. That description gets you to Lafferty's neighborhood, but still falls short. Lafferty's writing is best understood as magical realism, but not the high brow style of say, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, that is often associated with that term. Imagine instead Bugs Bunny munching on peyote buttons while reading Thomas Aquinas and watching a movie adaptation of an Escher print as preformed by the Marx Brothers, all while randomly shouting out lines from Kierkegaard and riding on a platypus. Only now do you begin to glimpse Lafferty's full contact sport approach to magical realism.

This book is an excellent introduction to Lafferty. Each story immerses you in his mad style in relatively easy doses. He definitely isn’t for every taste, but if like me, you find his controlled, erudite madness intoxicating, you will walk away with the joy of having discovered a new favorite author.
Profile Image for L.S. Popovich.
Author 2 books466 followers
December 29, 2019
4.5 stars.
My first encounter with R. A. Laugh-ferty. His humor and cleverness are quite astounding. He sets up gags and jokes in the middle of serious situations. His humor is often so unexpectedly outrageous it is harrowing. He made me catch my breath and squint my eyes. It is all a matter of subverting expectations. And he has a way of throwing out an offensively absurd line and then justifying it a few lines later. Anything can happen at any moment. And yet it all adds up to a satisfying conclusion.

In several of the stories, RAL seems to be commenting on Capitalism, contraception, xenophobia, economy, relationships, mortality, and conventional science fiction tropes. But often, it is impossible to separate straight satire from facetious propaganda.

These stories are wacky, gruesome, inappropriate, hilarious, abstract, and still compact. They operate almost entirely on dream-logic, and are guaranteed to baffle and entertain. A few times I was ready to move on, in the sense that I felt I had already gotten the joke, but he felt the need to throw in a few more punch lines. His wit is ripe though, and holds up well with the passage of time. Some of the stories are re-readable in my opinion, but knowing the plot-twists, or predicting them can ruin part of the fun. He still reads like a Golden Age science fiction author, and can run circles around some of his contemporaries as far as plot goes.

My only gripe is his choppy, chunky, rough sentence structure. Occasionally reminiscent of Philip K. Dick's sloppily constructed, contrari-wise, underachieving sentences, Lafferty's take some getting used to. But he is worth it. The clownish antics border on bizzaro-genius.
Profile Image for Yórgos St..
104 reviews55 followers
October 9, 2025
“I'm the commonest man you ever saw,”...“I am made from the clay and the salt of the Earth, and the humus from decayed behemoths.”

After i read nine hundred grandmothers it became pretty obvious to me that R.A. Lafferty was a literary genius and a criminally neglected writer. Thanks to Gene Wolfe (who mentions Lafferty in all of his interviews) i learned about the man who was an influence for a lot of famous writers but never had any major break through himself.
Nine hundred grandmothers is a triumph of the short story form. Stories like "Through Other Eyes" about how every-man regards the world differently or "One at a Time" about the importance and the joy of living our life to the fullest and everyday like it is our last are still with me and haunt me days after i read them.

“....You were a boy before, but you will never be again. I should think it would have aged you enough, and I cannot see what fascination this new one will have for you. At least the other recaptured the past. This will permit you to see only the present.”

“Yes, but through other eyes.”

“One pair of eyes is enough. I do not see any advantage at all except the novelty. I am afraid that this will be only a gadget.”

“No. Believe me, Smirnov, it will be more than that. It may not even be the same world when viewed through different eyes. I believe that what we regard as one may actually be several billion different universes, each made only for the eyes of the one who sees it.”
Profile Image for Peter Tillman.
4,042 reviews479 followers
July 3, 2020
Lafferty's only (ims) mass-marketed collection. Fortunately it's a great one. I need to dust off my copy for reread! TOC: http://www.isfdb.org/cgi-bin/pl.cgi?2...

Update 5/23/20 : I went to price one, to give a friend. $75 & up, for the mmpb! Whoa!
In the meanwhile, you can read "Slow Tuesday Night", a classic reprinted there, online at
https://www.baen.com/Chapters/9781618...
"Manus modules had no practical function, no more than had Sameki verses. They were attractive, of a psychologically satisfying size and shape, and could be held in the hands, set on a table, or installed in a module niche of any wall. Naturally Freddy became very rich. Ildefonsa Impala, the most beautiful woman in the city, was always interested in newly rich men. She came to see Freddy about eight-thirty. People made up their minds fast, and Ildefonsa had hers made up when she came. Freddy made his own up quickly and divorced Judy Fixico in Small Claims Court. Freddy and Ildefonsa went honeymooning to Paraiso Dorado, a resort. It was wonderful. All of Ildy’s marriages were. There was the wonderful floodlighted scenery. The recirculated water of the famous falls was tinted gold; the immediate rocks had been done by Rambles; and the hills had been contoured by Spall. The beach was a perfect copy of that at Merevale, and the popular drink that first part of the night was blue absinthe...."
Woot! Hot stuff.
Profile Image for Oscar.
2,240 reviews581 followers
May 8, 2019
No ha llegado a gustarme este volumen de cuentos de R.A. Lafferty. Me gusta el humor, la ironía y la sátira. Pocas veces me he reído tanto como con David Lodge, Martin Amis, Kurt Vonnegut o John Fante. Quizá no me gusta tanto aplicado a la ciencia ficción, creo yo. Añado que también me gusta (poco) el surrealismo, pero con lo que no puedo es con el absurdo. Y en esta antología hay mucho, demasiado, en mi opinión.

‘Novecientas abuelas’ (Nine Hundred Grandmothers, 1970; original que en español, por esas cosas extrañas de las editoriales, se dividió en dos volúmenes, el presente y ‘Los seis dedos del tiempo’), empieza de manera magnífica con el relato que da título al libro. En él, Cerán Bibueno, Experto en Aspectos Especiales, se dispone a descubrir el secreto de los proavitoi, una raza alienígena, que según ellos nunca mueren. Me parece que es el único relato que rescato de la recopilación. El resto, bastante flojo, en mi opinión.
Profile Image for Richard S.
442 reviews84 followers
September 29, 2019
The wildest and most creative science fiction I've ever come across. It's in the Ray Bradbury line - light on the science, heavy on the creativity - as opposed to the Haldeman or Egan "hard" style. The stories are incredible, just over-the-top in their variety, style, theme, and are never boring, although sometimes predictable. The one overarching sense or feel of the stories, however, is the author's incredible sense of and variety of humor which fills each story.

The creativity is evident not only in the content but the style. Lafferty is very much into wordplay, it's a bit coarse, but always brilliant. Large portions of it, and entire stories at times, are barely scrutable, even on a rereading. Although a few compare him to Wolfe, Lafferty's style is actually not literary as much as "literate." And he likes to throw things out there, obscure references, in his very chaotic and unpredictable way.

Some of it is wildness almost for the sake of wildness. Despite an occasional story that has a didactic element, the message almost seems to be in the style itself. The wild style is as much of the content as whatever creative "idea" he is using. There's not a single "sober" story in the entire collection that reads like traditional fiction. It frequently takes a little while for the reader to enter into the mind-set of the story, to figure out the specific world he has created or the idea that he is playing on. Lafferty can put creative ideas in a paragraph as densely as Egan can put "hard" sci-fi ideas into a chapter.

Overarching everything is the remarkably consistent quality he is able to maintain. Most collections of science fiction short stories are uneven - there's usually one great one and the rest are kind of okay. There's barely a single weak story in this collection, they are all like mini-masterpieces. The crazy variety makes it even difficult to pick a sample one. On one extreme of Lafferty's genius is "Ginny Wrapped in the Sun", which as a stand-alone work of absurdist literature outside of the sci-fi genre is possibly the best thing I've ever read. An extreme of purely chaotic wildness is "Slow Tuesday Night" which doesn't even try to make sense outside of its "idea".

I'm not going to pick a favorite story (too many candidates) but I will pick my favorite passage, from "Polity and Custom of the Camiroi," about a super-highly evolved variant of humanity that Earth humans are visiting to get a sense of their culture:

"We miss a lot. The enjoyment of poverty is generally denied to us. We have a certain hunger for incompetence, which is why some Earth things find a welcome here: bad Earth music, bad Earth painting and sculpture and drama for instance. The good we must produce ourselves. The bad we are incapable of, and must import. Some of us believe that we need it in our diet."

Anyway, strongest recommendation to all readers and while I was reading I was puzzled why this collection is not included among the all-time science fiction greats (is it too far outside the genre?) Neil Gaiman lists it among his 100 favorite works. Gene Wolfe thought very highly of Lafferty. It's definitely on my top 5 of all time list. I've always had a fondness for surrealist literature (Breton), and absurdist (Oulipo) as well. These stories would appeal to enthusiasts for that kind of literature as well.
Profile Image for Robert.
1 review4 followers
April 18, 2012
Unfortunately difficult to find these days, this is the finest collection of "science fiction" shorts stories, imaginative, friendly and engaging. R A Lafferty was a unique and personable voice in the the genre of late 20th century writing in fantasy, fiction and history.
Profile Image for Daniel.
164 reviews15 followers
August 29, 2023
Long time out of print, never published in Brazil, Lafferty was an author much as he is described by other authors that admire him ( huge list, Zelazny, Harlan Ellison, Gaiman, Gene Wolfe, etc.) and say nothing less than he was a genius writer that lived in Tulsa, and wrote many excellent fantasy/science fiction tall tales. Spirituous, humorous ( not LOL of course ), and intrinsically fantastic.

My first Lafferty book.

Nine Hundred Grandmothers
- 5/5 About a spatial merchant trying to speculate about the origins of the universe from knowing the infinite etymology of an ancient race.

Land of the Great Horses
- 3/5 I bet this tale will look better at the second read, but it deals with an inhospitable ancient landscape in India and its implications in the exodus of the Romany ( Gypsies ).

Ginny Wrapped in the Sun
- 4/5 Speculations of the cyclic nature of the human psyche in far undetermined planet/future.

The Six Fingers of Time
-5/5 Just about a story of a regular guy with six fingers and speculation of the primordial pit from where man came out at the dawn of times and the nature of time and after all about the process of learning and enlightenment.

Frog on the Mountain
- 5/5 Probably drawing influences from Native American Mythology this is the primordial search for the vilest beast on an alien planet.

All the People
- 5/5 Another quintessential tale about artificial life just as is P. K Dick The Simulacra.

Primary Education of the Camiroi
- 4/5 Made upon pure irony and satire, this tale criticizes the archaic learning systems that we need to go through by postulating a planet where there is a utopia in this regard.

Slow Tuesday Night
- 3/5 What if it took seconds for us to acquire economic empires?

Snuffles
- 5/5 Nearly a theological study of an omnipotent deity meeting the long-time known human arrogance. Some nods to cartoon-like nature.

Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne
- 5/5 The well-known Butterfly effect from a historical perspective. A good dosage of humor.

Name of the Snake
- 5/5 Huge critical satire of religious intolerance - from a Catholic perspective - and fruitless search for sins.

Narrow Valley
- 5/5 Very funny magic tale about a narrow valley that is hidden by arcane Native American magic.

Polity and Custom of the Camiroi
- 5/5 The planet Camiroi comes back and more satire. It does seem those Camiroi really like to play jokes and mock the space-illiterate, naive Earthlings.

In Our Block
- 5/5 Outstanding tall story, where imagination comes in strongly to postulate the creation of matter from nothing. Pretty fun.

Hog-Belly Honey
- 3/5 One of the weakest stories here. But deals with two kinds of intelligent and smart arrogant men:
One scientist's mind is natural and raw against a brilliant and erudite scientist. Probably to illustrate the arrogant behavior of some scientists.

Seven Day Terror
- 4/5 Quite a fun plot from an impossible premise: an imaginary machine that makes things disappear for 7 days.

The Hole on the Corner
- 5/5 This is a bit strange at first, the reader is a bit caught by the humorous tones. But in the end, we see that is another strange tale based upon the premise of multiple personas living at the same time in space. Family comedies and head doctor jokes

What's the Name of that Town
- 5/5 Lafferty seems to enjoy the idea of things deleted from the human mind, like a huge city and a tragedy that hit it.

Through Other Eyes
- 5/5 While reading the first pages I thought I'd not like it all, but it happened to be one the best tales: poetic and a little bit humorous. Reflection on the perceptions people have of the world surrounding us and the beings dwelling around us.

One at a Time
- 5/5 The best story here and one of my - now - all-time favorites. Drawing influence from the popular Irish culture at the same time it evokes the carpe diem motto. A story about friendship, enjoying life. A little bit humorous.

Guesting Time
- 3/5 The last take is ok, It tells the story of certain alien people popping in on Earth in groups of gazillions, and that turns Earth into an overcrowded planet.
40 reviews94 followers
Want to read
March 8, 2012
Just found this 1970s Sci Fi author on Unglue.it. I'd love to know more about his neglected legacy. Apparently Neil Gaiman is a fan.
Profile Image for Julio Bernad.
494 reviews200 followers
November 23, 2025
Pese a que Lafferty es un escritor cómico, más bien humorístico, no es nada fácil leerlo, y desde luego no debe ser nada fácil traducirlo. La comedia es, quizá, el género que peor se trasvasa: muy fino debe ser el caudal y muy ancho el recipiente para que gran parte de los chistes no empapen el suelo. El enredo, lo ridículo de las situaciones y las acciones, la comedia física en general es un lenguaje universalmente entendido por todos, no así los juegos de palabras, los retruécanos, el equívoco, la ironía o el sarcasmo. Por ello es posible que esta traducción antigua no sea la mejor para contagiarse del personalísimo sentido del humor de Lafferty, que siente debilidad por las situaciones y conceptos absurdos y los diálogos poco ortodoxos, pero, dado que es la única que tenemos, uno debe tratar de dejarse llevar ante la delirante inventiva de este genial humorista de la ciencia ficción. Si disfrutáis del autoestopista galáctico, vais a encontrar algo muy parecido en cuanto ideas geniales, no tanto en cuanto a chistes, pues Lafferty tiene remates muy poco británicos. Es extraño que, siendo yo tan anglófilo, prefiera antes al americano que al inglés, cuya novela me pareció inaguantable.

Los relatos contenidos en esta antología son los siguientes:

Novecientas abuelas (****): Cerán Bibueno, experto en Aspectos Especiales, acude al planeta de los proavitoi, una peculiar raza alienígena capaz de remontar su ascendencia hasta su origen por la sencilla razón de que son inmortales, con el objetivo de conocer su secreto.

La tierra de los grandes caballos (***): dos geólogos realizan una expedición a una región despoblada a caballo entre la India y Pakistán para realizar una prospección. Cual no será su sorpresa al descubrir que el paraje visitado no concuerda al representado en los mapas. Uno de ellos, incluso, parece enloquecer ante el descubrimiento, pues abandona el jeep y se lanza a escalar el monte, donde dice que se encuentra su anhelado hogar.

Ginny envuelta en el sol (**): unos biólogos evolutivos discuten sobre la existencia de uno de los antecesores de la especie humana, el hombre de Xauen, del que se han recuperado restos infantiles, pues al parecer tenía la capacidad de reproducirse a los cuatro años de edad, mientras observan los juegos de la hija de uno de estos, Ginny, que muestra alarmantes signos de precocidad en más de un tema.

Toda la gente (**): ¿Es posible conocer a toda la gente del planeta? Para el protagonista sí, lo cual le revela una verdad sobre su naturaleza hasta entonces inadvertida.

La educación primaria de los Camiroi (***): los niños de la raza Camiroi tienen la capacidad de retener una enorme cantidad de datos en su cerebro, una inteligencia pasmosa que hace que su sistema educativo sea inasumible para los niños humanos. Sin embargo, esta retentiva superlativa también tiene consecuencias nefastas.

Lenta noche de un martes (****): el protagonista de esta historia se dispone, tal como ha hecho en días anteriores, a convertirse millonario en una noche. En este mundo es bastante fácil, pues la optimización de las relaciones y negocios humanos han logrado que una persona pueda, en menos de un día, amasar grandes fortunas. Y, por supuesto, perderlas con igual rapidez.

Resoplón (****): un grupo de científicos llegan a un diminuto planeta en el que las leyes de la física, más que cumplirse, parece que se improvisan. No hay ningún habitante inteligente en la superficie del planeta salvo, quizá, Resoplón, una suerte de oso espacial con grandes dotes imitativas. El úrsido se muestra amable y colaborador hasta que los científicos van avanzando con sus investigaciones.

Así frustramos a Carlomagno (****): mediante el uso de una improvisada máquina del tiempo, un grupo de científicos se propone cambiar el pasado para mejorar el presente. Sin embargo, con cada nuevo intento nada cambia para ellos. Aparentemente.

El nombre de la serpiente (**): un sacerdote católico se lanza a predicar por el universo. En su misión llega al planeta Analos, donde se topa con una importante dificultad, y es que su sociedad no conoce el pecado. Al menos no como los religiosos lo entienden.

Uno cada vez (****): Juan Vinagrio, autodenominado coleccionista de tipos raros, se topa en una de sus noches toledanas con un hombre que condensa la alegría de vivir al extremo: bebe como un cosaco, engulle como un gigante, canta y baila como un irlandés y seduce a mujeres como un dios griego. Cuál es su secreto, le pregunta a su compañero durante la francachela. Sencillo, le dice: hay que vivir siempre como si fuera tu último día.

Tiempo de visitas (****): un día llegan de visita a la Tierra una flota entera de escandios, una raza alienígena diminuta que no han oido hablar nunca del control de la natalidad ni de los preservativos. Su llegada pone a prueba las normas de hospitalidad terrestres, pues pronto los visitantes se instalan y colonizan cada rincón del planeta, realizando, en el proceso, su labor proselitista, pues es una verguenza que la Tierra esté tan vacía, cuando el secreto de la felicidad reside, precisamente, en el contacto humano.

¿Cómo se llama esa ciudad? (***): un superordenador está metido en una importante misión. Luego de haber sido entrenado con infinidad de textos y enciclopedias, ha localizado una serie de irregularidades inexplicables. Sin embargo, los científicos no parecen entender la tarea en que se haya metida la máquina y piensan que les está gastando algún tipo de broma pesada.
Profile Image for Alex Sarll.
7,071 reviews363 followers
Read
June 22, 2021
A book read, as much as anything, out of spite, because I saw an article insisting Lafferty was 'the best science fiction writer you've never heard of' and, as is usually the case with such headlines, of course I'd heard of him, and even read a bit. But not this book, though I knew enough already to own it. Short stories, mostly very short, but ones which pack a huge amount in; alien worlds where death seems unknown, but the immortality might not be as marketable as hoped; that old mainstay of a strange child suggesting conventional humanity's time is done, but played differently enough that it feels wholly new. All garlanded with little details that, even in such restricted spaces, we get a perfect sense of the societies and people being turned upside down, just from little details such as the macho aliases of the space traders in the title story. The writing is a marvel – intricate, knotted sentences building tales like ships in bottles, where it seems it should be impossible that they can be so obsessive and intricate yet also feel so alive. At a whole 14 pages, The Six Fingers Of Time is one of the longer pieces here, but in that space, still hardly a sprawl, it manages to anticipate both Nicholson Baker's Fermata and, more impressively, 95% of the decades of super-speedster comics which have been published since, also finding space for an ancient conspiracy meddling with humanity since records began, a medical mystery solved, ghost stories explained and - once again - that sense of worlds within worlds which powers the title story. And speaking of titles, Lafferty has a similar way with them to Harlan Ellison and Cordwainer Smith, often coming out with oblique teases that make you want to know more – my favourite here being Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne. Which turns out to be a time travel story which, for all that the supposed brains trust in it are missing an obvious problem, still does a brilliant job of catching the changes caused by meddling in the past. Although dear heavens the way that the wrong intervention suddenly strips the world of all its pleasures feels far too familiar now. It's interesting too, given subsequent developments, that a conservative American writer should have seen safeguarding early trade in ideas between Christian and Muslim worlds as the best way to create a utopian timeline. Similarly, while Narrow Valley initially looks like it's going awkward places given the idiolect of the Native American lead, it turns out to be precisely about colonialism and to give him some wonderfully vicious lines: "How come you're not wearing the Iron Crown of Lombardy if you're a white girl? How you expect me to believe you're a little white girl and your folks came from Europe a couple hundred years ago if you don't wear it? There are six hundred tribes, and only one of them, the Oglala Sioux, had the war bonnet, and only the big leaders, never more than two or three of them alive at one time, wore it." Not that it quite gets left there, mind; very few Lafferty characters ever meekly take their medicine, and in a recurring motif for these stories, she is a very peculiar little girl.

Contrary to the wilder claims of that Wired article I was spiting, not every story here is a winner. The other 14-page epic, Frog On The Mountain, uses devices too familiar from subsequent SF, without quite the same Lafferty twists and tweaks. Also, both the leads are incredibly annoying, and unlike in the other stories, not in the enjoyable way. Still, even here there's the fabulous notion of a man who prefers to be sedated when his spaceship approaches a planet, as otherwise he sees it growing from a dot and so is unable to be sufficiently awed by the scale of its mountains once he's down on the surface. There's so much to unpack in that, isn't there? But in the weaker pieces, the sing-song names and air of baffled superiority, normally displayed by small children, can feel merely glib. Still, it's not like you're ever stuck there for long, and soon you'll be back among the wonderful and worthwhile, presented with some fabulously odd puzzle. A man wakes one day knowing who everyone in the world is - all three billion of them (and yes, I had a little grieve there at the notion that so recently there were so few). Sometimes, as in Snuffles, I felt sure I was missing some kind of allegorical import, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the relatable title character, a genial alien bear given to occasional bouts of ingenious savagery. Here too are Bellota, a planet where gravity works differently, "made by a wild child or a mixed-up goblin just to put the rest of them in proper perspective, to deflate the pomposity of the cosmos"; perhaps it was the same thinking which inspired Lafferty to create another planet called Analos. Back on Earth, Lafferty will prod at the anomaly where humans are the only mammal not to have roughly the same number of heartbeats across their lifespan; show why seeing the world through someone else's eyes might not be the panacea as which it's sometimes proposed; or propose a future where after the removal of the "mental stutter" of the Abebaios block from human minds, we make decisions faster - acceleration taken to the point that a man can make and lose four fortunes overnight, and as many marriages – a not entirely inaccurate portrayal of the trajectory of the past few decades, at least until the Event, and even now the way that a parish council or feline lawyer or sea shanties will be absolutely ubiquitous for a fortnight feels like it's proving his point. And if we do get the world returned to us, I would love some venue to take its lead from In Our Block, where alien visitors start replicating Earth businesses in ways which work much better even if the details are a little out. Because come on, who wouldn't want to visit a bar called Cool Man Club?
Profile Image for Conor.
377 reviews34 followers
April 18, 2020
There's a lot of stuff in here. It reads like years of stories that were submitted to a magazine. Which is probably was. Each is self contained, but there are some inter related stuff.

I didn't like it quite as much as PKD "stuff," but it's wealth of unexpected speculative and sci-fi ideas. It might be fair to say that where Dick sits at the crossroads of existence and technology (and drugs), Lafferty sits there with our understanding of the world and alien understandings.

It's maybe not as spectacular to have a PTA meeting on another planet and discuss education with aliens, but it is fun.

The times when the text shows it's age is also less insulting than most "classic" science fiction. I don't think Lafferty has a strong female character in these short stories, but there's also not a moment where you feel he's either fixated on the future gender roles, or fettishizing future sex (it's not Heinlein) even though there's a rapey ghost.

...and on typing that I suddenly remembered that ghost.

5 STARS!
-1 star - not as fun for me as PKD
-1 stars. Worst ghost ever.
+1 for not being Heinline

Profile Image for Philipp.
704 reviews225 followers
May 24, 2024
I love this so, so, so much. Ever found an author who feels like they just get you, the reader? Who wrote stories that are just for you? That's Lafferty for me.



^ this is me with Lafferty's writing

Just the correct amount of goof, smart, hilarious, random. All the stories have ADHD. Every character has a wonderful name, try these on your tongue: Ceran Swicegood, Art Slick, Jim Boomer, Garamask, Gutboy Barrelhouse, Manbreaker Crag, Homer Hoose. Nothing is serious, but everything is smart. As Lafferty wrote in Fourth Mansions: 'It is required that one man should goof gloriously for the people.' All goof, all glorious, all the time.


"Anthony," said the colonel, "I want you to tell me if you discern anything unusual. That is really your job, to discern anything unusual. [.] Now tell me clearly if anything unusual has come to your notice."
"Sir, it has." And then [Anthony] blurted it out. "I know everybody. I know everybody in the world. I know them all in their billions, every person. It has me worried sick."
"Yes, yes, Anthony. But tell me, have you noticed anything odd? It is your duty to tell me if you have."
"But I have just told you! In some manner I know every person in the world. I know the people in Transvaal, I know the people in Guatemala. I know everybody."
"Yes, Anthony, we realize that. And it may take a little getting used to. But that isn't what I mean. Have you, besides that thing that seems out of the way to you, noticed anything unusual, anything that seems out of place, a little bit wrong?"
"Ah, besides that and your reaction to it, no, sir. Nothing else odd. I might add though, how odd can a thing get? But other than that, no, sir."
"Good, Anthony. Now remember, if you sense anything odd about anything at all, come and tell me. No matter how trivial it is, if you feel that something is just a little bit out of place, then report it at once. Do you understand that?"
"Yes, sir."
But he couldn't help wondering what it might be that the Colonel would consider a little bit odd.


I love this so, so much.

P.S.: Love that I have this beautiful 1970s edition, bought at Bella Books for ~$10. Unfortunately the front cover fell off immediately.

P.P.S.: If you want to know why Anthony knows everyone: .
Profile Image for Jenna.
536 reviews1 follower
Want to read
July 10, 2009
(not my review):
"It all goes back to Neil Gaiman. In the foreword to “Fragile Things,” he wrote that his short story “Sunbird” was his way of trying to write his own R.A. Lafferty story. So I found “Nine Hundred Grandmothers,” and it’s like nothing I’ve ever read before. It’s very blue-collar science fiction – all the familiar tropes of people going to outer space and to other planets. It’s hilarious, incredibly funny and at the same time it’s insanely dark. You get the feeling like it’s a guy just writing to amuse himself: “I don’t care if any of this makes sense, but I want to see weird stuff happen.” One of his stories starts off, “He began by breaking things that morning.” There’s a short story called “Ginny Wrapped in the Sun,” and it’s just about this little girl who’s super strong, running around, picking things up. You get such a sense of joy and boundless imagination in every sentence – even if the story doesn’t totally cohere, you feel like it’s about something. It’s so incredibly Tulsa. You get that feeling when you see a Flaming Lips show. It’s not like we’re dark and hurt and twisted. It’s like, “I’ve got blood on my face – come on, y’all, this is awesome.” "
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/mov...
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/mov...
Profile Image for Marley.
128 reviews135 followers
August 10, 2010
There is no rating. There is every rating. Lafferty just is what he is and you ingest his off-logic like a drug and follow the ride. Never get too emotionally invested, yet giggle along with his great human pessimist joke. I love this stuff and yet it never gets me too deep, so I'm compromising on a four. I agree with whoever it was who said Lafferty is weird like Dick but interested a lot more in systems than people. It's all ABOUT systems, great big Rube Goldberg devices of systems that chew folks up and spit them out weirder, and maybe you get eaten by an insect alternate universe clone of your wife along the way.
Profile Image for Melissa.
54 reviews2 followers
February 24, 2011
I just read one short story from this book called: "Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne"...the story involves Epikt the Ktistec machine and a group of scientists who work with it have decided to change the past and then everything goes wako....

I will probably read the others because i found this one very funny...
Profile Image for Al Maki.
664 reviews25 followers
January 29, 2014
As someone wrote in a review of another of Lafferty's books, they were perpetrated rather than written. Imagine Spike Milligan parodying a Stanislaw Lem novel and you have some notion of the tone. If you can find this book, and you've never read him, read it. We'll never look upon his like again.
Profile Image for Ben Brackett.
1,399 reviews6 followers
July 22, 2024
This short story collection is a real doozy of a mindfuck.
Profile Image for Pablo Bueno.
Author 13 books205 followers
Read
May 26, 2022
Este es un libro curioso y contradictorio. Por una parte, Lafferty nos presenta una propuesta sorprendente e interesante en cada relato y la trata, a menudo, con un agudo sentido del humor, pero, en todo caso, siempre con un estilo muy particular. Esto hace que, en ocasiones, sea complicado conectar con la obra.

Pero, por otra parte, nos encontramos con escritos tan sobresalientes como "La educación primaria de los camiroi" o "Lenta noche de un martes" (que ya había leído, aunque no consigo recordar dónde. ¿Puede que en las antologías de Marcheto?) y hace que nos enamoremos de ellos.

Como digo, una antología contradictoria, pero no me atrevería a decir "con altibajos", puesto que los que se encuentren cómodos con la manera de desarrollar las ideas de Lafferty se lo pasarán fenomenal.
Profile Image for Eric F.
63 reviews2 followers
October 2, 2014
"Excitement is in the discovery of the machine..." This is a great collection of short stories; a few of which have continuity to each other. "Nine Hundred Grandmothers" is a spiraling inside joke and a nested doll. "Land of the Great Horses" is a great migration to a gap in space and time. "Ginny Wrapped in the Sun" is a particular favorite having an all-knowing monster-child at its center; the same goes for "Seven Day Terror". I loved the Benjamin Button-like challenge laid out in "The Six Fingers of Time": "It is only very good people who have no fear at all of the unknown.' "Frog on the Mountain" called to mind Burrough's John Carter of Mars works, with a very nice twist. The blindness and subsequent self-awareness of AI runs a neat yarn through "All the People": "Anthony had a sad feeling at leaving his brain behind him." Two of the linked stories featuring the Camiroi race, "Primary Education of the Camiroi" and "Polity and Custom of the Camiroi", were thickly detailed studies (packed with nice glimmers and sharp lines: "Even buzzards sometimes gag.") but my least favorite stories in the book. They were heavy, not as nimble as the rest of the collection. Two other linked stories, "Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne" and "What's the Name of that Town?", follow the exploits of Epiktistes, a super computer, and his scientist pals with too much free time at their disposal. "Slow Tuesday Night" was in the vein of Moorcock's "Dancers at the End of Time". The snake-oil salesmanship versus the angry mob in "Hog-Belly Honey" was neatly done as were the Rip VanWinkle antics of "One at a Time".

I love how Lafferty takes Earth-human confidence and superiority and turns it on its ear. The Earth-human goes to study the universe, head high and looking down his sharp nose at all he observes. And Earth-human is handed a big serving of rotted crow each time. The hunter becomes the hunted. The observer is being observed. "Snuffles" is a shining example spinning around the definition of dumb animal. As is "Name of the Snake" - and its good old-fashioned punch line: "My wife makes a fine soup. I will miss her." The same goes for the Twilight Zone-like "The Hole on the Corner" and the stinging disillusionment of Charles Cogsworth when he invents a way to see the world "Through Other Eyes". Powerful stuff.

Without fail, Lafferty whacks humanity on the head: "A roomful of miracles wasn't enough."
Profile Image for Sean Leas.
341 reviews11 followers
July 13, 2018
I'm going to dispense with my parting thoughts and go straight to rating the individual stories.

Nine Hundred Grandmothers 5/5 - Favorite
Land of the Great Horses 3/5
Ginny Wrapped in the Sun 5/5
The Six Fingers of Time 4/5
Frog on the Mountain 4/5
All the People 5/5 - Reminds me of PKD The Simulacra
Primary Education of the Camiroi 5/5 - Favorite and full of irony and satire
Slow Tuesday Night 3/5
Snuffles 5/5
Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne 3/5
Name of the Snake 4/5
Narrow Valley 5/5 - Brace yourself for some puns, such a fun romp.
Polity and Custom of the Camiroi 5/5 - Another favorite
In Our Block 4/5
Hog-Belly Honey 3/5
Seven Day Terror 4/5
The Hole on the Corner 5/5
What's the Name of that Town 5/5
Through Other Eyes 4/5
One at a Time 3/5
Guesting Time 4/5
Profile Image for John Defrog: global citizen, local gadfly.
714 reviews20 followers
November 4, 2023
I enjoyed R.A, Lafferty’s second short-story anthology, Strange Doings (1972), and was keen to rewad more of him. Then I found a copy of his first anthology, released in 1970. One of them I’d already read: "Land Of The Great Horses", which appeared in Harlan Ellison’s Dangerous Visions. However, that story didn’t make much of an impression on me at the time, and re-reading it here didn’t help that much. And it turns out there’s quite a few other stories here like that. Luckily they’re in the minority.

The stories here cover a range of scenarios: an aspiring space pulp hero tries to discover the beginning of the universe; a man who wakes up to discover he can move through time at lightning speed; another man who discovers he somehow knows everyone in the world; a bear god named Snuffles; a kid invents a device that can make things disappear; people are replaced by monsters and no one notices at first; a valley that looks five feet wide but isn’t; an Earth that ends up literally hip-deep in friendly aliens; and a team of scientists with a supercomputer to see alternate realities through the eyes of other people. Etc and so on.

The quality of the plots vary, but as before, what makes it work for me is Lafferty’s wild, twisted imagination and playful writing style that swings between lyrical and whimsical. While this does result in characters reacting strangely to weird and dangerous phenomena, I find it a lot of fun to read. Lafferty also seems to be poking fun at standard SF tropes at times, such as the story where scientists try to use time travel to change history whilst assuming that they themselves won’t be changed. It’s one of the funniest stories here, or anywhere, really.
Profile Image for Amy W.
597 reviews13 followers
February 29, 2016
"This is the slowest I've ever seen you read. Also the most depressed I've seen you about reading." — my boyfriend
I think we all knew this wasn't going to be my new favourite book. I'd got into a conversation about books with a work colleague that ended in me agreeing to try some Sci-Fi as I have very little experience with the genre.

For the most part I found the stories very confusing. I don't care if I sound dense, but I didn't understand what the heck was going on in half the stories. I don't like having to think hard about what the story is trying to say about God, Time, Humanity etc. I prefer to take a story at face value rather than having to wonder about things and fight my way through the riddles.

My overall experience of this book was something along the lines of "whyyyyy?!". (If you know me in person, you'll know the face I'm pulling as I say that.) Still, I wanted to finish the book so I could report my thoughts back without having given up half way. I knew I had to get through it, but every time I picked up the book it's like life just drained away from me. I had to stop for a nap while reading on two separate occasions.

So, safe to say it wasn't for me. That doesn't mean the book is bad, just that I think you have to already be a fan of Sci-Fi to be able to enjoy this.

That said, there were a few highlights. The title story Nine Hundred Grandmothers, along with The Six Fingers of Time, Primary Education of the Camiroi, Snuffles, and In Our Block I found most interesting. That's why I'm giving this a 2-star rating and not 1-star.
38 reviews
July 28, 2013
I tried a Lafferty novel once, Past Master, found it confusing and weird then gave up. Then later I decided to try this collection as some things I'd heard of him intrigued me. He started in SF in middle-aged, was beloved by the counterculture and yet was an arch-conservative Catholic whose works show a strong interest in 14th-16th century Catholics. (Thomas More, Teresa of Avila, a few others) So I tried this collection and for the most part really liked it. His stories are sometimes in more of a "tall tale" vein than traditional science fiction and other times there's a kind of gallows humor to them. Of the stories themselves I really remember

"Primary Education of the Camiroi", a somewhat twisted yet occasionally quite amusing take on education.

"Slow Tuesday Night", with its unusual time.

"Snuffles", a kind of thriller.

"What's the Name of that Town", Manages to be a horror to the reader, but a laugh to the characters.

Lastly I generally found Lafferty, and this book, less morose than most of the other Catholic science fiction authors I'd tried. (I'm a Catholic myself)
Profile Image for James.
353 reviews
July 11, 2018
For a time, R. A. Lafferty was the most original short story writer in America. Nominally SF, Lafferty's work is a heady amalgam of Fantasy/SF tropes, folksy tall tale form, dazzling linguistic japes, theological overtones, and a sneaky, absurdist sense that the world was somehow out of whack. In short, he was wholly unique; he seemed to be a combination of Philip K. Dick and Harlan Ellison on laughing gas.

This, his first collection, is a superb introduction to Lafferty 's world. From the ironic cosmic joke of the title story through such gems as "Narrow Valley", "In Our Block" , and "Slow Tuesday Night", to the simple, elegant brilliance of "Land of the Great Horses", this collection reveals a true American Original and a master of the short form.

In fairness, however, it must be said that Lafferty is an acquired taste. Many readers are left absolutely cold by his stuff, and wonder and complain about what all the fuss is about. I don't know how to answer that question- one either loves his work or hates it. I, for one, love it.
Profile Image for Rachel.
78 reviews
December 30, 2016
Lafferty writes as though he were half madman, half child. His stories are the stuff of garish nightmares and baroque fantasy, which may both entrance and revolt within the same page.

Nine Hundred Grandmothers is set up like an anthology of short stories, typically unrelated, but thematically similar. Some stories do seem to follow the same characters, same plot, but those were less interesting in my opinion. I prefer when Lafferty opens the can of worms and leaves them squirming on the table for your reflection.

Nine Hundred Grandmothers was a quick read that sticks with you long after you finish. Reminded me a lot of the original Twilight Zone. Moral relativists, sci-fi fans, and curious humans rejoice; Lafferty's stories will tickle your imagination and set fire to your mind.

My favorite stories were:
Ginny Wrapped in the Sun
The Six Hands of Time
Frog on the Mountain
Slow Tuesday Night
Snuffles
Narrow Valley
The Hole in the Corner
Profile Image for Peter.
363 reviews34 followers
March 5, 2025
"‘Oh, no, no!’ Valery forbade. ‘Not again. That way is rump of skunk and madness.’

Lafferty is one of those writers you can more or less instantly recognize – certainly after a paragraph or two. The words sort of boil over and gush out in unexpected directions.

His short stories are nominally science fiction, but only in a wibbly-wobbly kind of way. Most of them – well, actually all of them – are disconcertingly strange, ridiculously inventive, and appear to comprise the oral folklore of a demented tribe of jesters.

I particularly liked “Thus We Frustrate Charlemagne”, rump of skunk and all, and “Narrow Valley”, but the stories tend to blend into each other and I’d have to reread the whole book to remember which was which.

I may do that. But on the other hand, there’s more Lafferty yet unread on the shelf, so...
Profile Image for Bill.
364 reviews
July 2, 2020
Lafferty is proving to be one of the handful of SF genre writers whose work has staying power. He was a master of little fables that offer funny and unexpected observations. A lot of his best work is not included in this volume, but his books are mostly out of print and hard (and expensive) to find.
If Mark Twain collaborated with Jorge Luis Borges to write for pulp SF magazines in the 1960's, you would end up with 900 Grandmothers.
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