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No Bed for Bacon
Five o'clock and all's well in Merrie Englande. But not for long. Good Queen Bess is stirring in her four-poster and is feeling neither happy nor glorious. Down at the Globe, Will Shakespeare is chewing the end of his quill: something's amiss with Love's Labours Wunne. And Walter Raleigh, boiling his new potato in the depths of the regal kitchens, is getting very hot under the collar of his latest cloak - will his spud achieve the perfect fluffiness for The Royal Tasting? Heads are sure to roll before the day is out.
Beautifully written, uproarious comedy, No Bed For Bacon is a trivial pursuit through Elizabethan England - a book which will delight all scholars of Shakespeare, history and gleeful frivolity alike.
Beautifully written, uproarious comedy, No Bed For Bacon is a trivial pursuit through Elizabethan England - a book which will delight all scholars of Shakespeare, history and gleeful frivolity alike.
255 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1941
5 people are currently reading
912 people want to read
About the author
Caryl Brahms
46 books14 followersCaryl Brahms, born Doris Caroline Abrahams was an English critic, novelist, and journalist specialising in the theatre and ballet. She also wrote film, radio and television scripts.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
March 28, 2021
Dagglebelt almost snatched the held-out pumpkin in his eagerness. His big chance had come.
"Now just watch me a minute,"he pleaded.
He planted his feet in an open fourth. He threw up one pumpkin. He threw up another. He threw up the third.
"Juggler, "explained the Master of the Revels.
Breathing heavily Dagglebelt caught the first pumpkin. He clutched at the second. He missed the third.
"A bad juggler," said Burghley disappointed.
"It was an accident," said Dagglebelt. He picked up the pumpkins. He tried again.
"Dolt," cried a raw voice from an upper storey. "Run away and practice while you still have hands to do it with."
Dagglebelt gave one glance. He abandoned his pumpkins. He ran.
Elizabeth of England withdrew from the window. She was smiling.
If this strikes you as funny (or like in my case, mildly amusing) this might be the book for you! There were only a couple of parts that I laughed out loud (the best one was Elizabeth of England choosing her outfit for the day) but I read most of it with a smile.
A wild mixture of Shakespearean fact & the authors' equally wild imagination (they were both Fire Wardens during WWII when they wrote this) , until near the end when this tale started to drag a bit.
I was curious what a pantoble was. Some of the characters threw one quite a bit. Sounded like a small piece of furniture. The (uninformative definition) I googled said it was another name for a pantofle. (which sounds like a pastry)
It is actually;
a type of footwear.
Good fun!
https://wordpress.com/view/carolshess...
May 12, 2017
It’s a tribute to William Shakespeare that we are still interested in him, 400 years after his death. His life provides just the right mix of known facts and mysteries. We know the bare bones of his life—who he married, how many children he had, details of his career, and elements of his reputation.
What’s missing are the personal details—how did he feel about things? What kind of person was he to work with? What were his religious beliefs? Was he a faithful husband? Who was that Dark Lady of the sonnets, anyway? Did he really write all those things attributed to him?
This leaves authors lots of lee-way to write their own adventures for the Bard. I’ve enjoyed the likes of Shakespeare Undead and The Dark Lady's Mask, not to mention a short story involving Atticus O’Sullivan of Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid series (Goddess at the Crossroads). Surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be any kind of collated list of fiction featuring Shakespeare as a character, but No Bed for Bacon is the earliest that I have yet encountered. I’m surprised that there aren’t many more novels with Shakespeare figuring prominently as a character! If you know of any, please let me know in the comments, I’m intrigued to read more. There are tons of books written as reinterpretations of his works, but fewer which feature the Bard himself.
Despite being first published in 1941, No Bed for Bacon still feels remarkably fresh to me. Reputedly, it is the basis for the movie Shakespeare in Love.
What’s missing are the personal details—how did he feel about things? What kind of person was he to work with? What were his religious beliefs? Was he a faithful husband? Who was that Dark Lady of the sonnets, anyway? Did he really write all those things attributed to him?
This leaves authors lots of lee-way to write their own adventures for the Bard. I’ve enjoyed the likes of Shakespeare Undead and The Dark Lady's Mask, not to mention a short story involving Atticus O’Sullivan of Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid series (Goddess at the Crossroads). Surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be any kind of collated list of fiction featuring Shakespeare as a character, but No Bed for Bacon is the earliest that I have yet encountered. I’m surprised that there aren’t many more novels with Shakespeare figuring prominently as a character! If you know of any, please let me know in the comments, I’m intrigued to read more. There are tons of books written as reinterpretations of his works, but fewer which feature the Bard himself.
Despite being first published in 1941, No Bed for Bacon still feels remarkably fresh to me. Reputedly, it is the basis for the movie Shakespeare in Love.
October 18, 2015
A fun, rollicking read satirising the Elizabethan era.
I wonder if I'm quite well-educated enough to get all the jokes. Parts of the book were laugh-out-loud funny ("In what manner that I have not already used," he asked Dick Burbage, "can I bring a heroine to life who has been most dead?" HA SO TRUE), especially everything to do with Sir Walter Raleigh. The book is fairly dry and straight-faced, and I couldn't shake the feeling that some of the jokes were flying over my head.
Even if some of them do, this is still a gloriously silly read which any fan of Shakespeare and the Elizabethans is sure to enjoy.
I wonder if I'm quite well-educated enough to get all the jokes. Parts of the book were laugh-out-loud funny ("In what manner that I have not already used," he asked Dick Burbage, "can I bring a heroine to life who has been most dead?" HA SO TRUE), especially everything to do with Sir Walter Raleigh. The book is fairly dry and straight-faced, and I couldn't shake the feeling that some of the jokes were flying over my head.
Even if some of them do, this is still a gloriously silly read which any fan of Shakespeare and the Elizabethans is sure to enjoy.
March 14, 2012
Originally published on my blog here in September 1998.
Caryl Brahms & S.J. Simon wrote four humorous historical novels together; and this is probably both the silliest and funniest. They have taken a sort of general idea of the Elizabethan period, as though culled from second-rate popular histories and a good knowledge of the literature and stirred it all together as though everything in the period happened in a rush rather than during a reign of over forty years. Characters from the 1560s rub shoulders with others from the 1600s and later (playwrights right through until the closing of the theatres in the 1640s are often described as Elizabethan).
The plot is dominated by the two best known parts of Elizabethan society, the theatre and the court. Francis Bacon is desperate to be given a secondhand bed by the queen, a sign of great preferment. He commissions Shakespeare to write a play to be performed for the queen and court, to captivate her. (Shakespeare holds out for a fee of £40 when, as Bacon points out, you can get Beaumont and Fletcher for a ten pound note, and there are two of them.) Meanwhile, new lady-in-waiting Viola Compton has annoyed the queen by an accurate imitation of Mary Queen of Scots; she has discovered the stage. As in many stories dealing with the theatre of the time (I can think of two novels and a play without even trying), she disguises herself as a boy to become an actor in Shakespeare's company. (The commoness of the theme is probably because it is prompted by the many girls who disguise themselves as boys in Shakespeare's own plays.)
Across the town, the rival theatre company of Philip Henslowe sets out to destroy the Burtbages and Shakespeare, with various ham-fisted attempts to destroy their theatre: inciting the Puritans to close it down, sending out bravos to burn it - they get lost and burn down Henslowe's theatre instead, and finally sabotaging the props for a performance of Henry VIII. (In fact, the Globe did burn down after an accident with cannon in Henry VIII.)
It's the small touches that make this book so successful - the nightwatchman with ambition, Shakespeare's continual attempts to begin his masterpiece Love's Labour Won, Raleigh's potato tasting and so on. It helps if you know something about Elizabethan history and drama, but the novel is still riotously funny even if you don't know that much. The tone of the whole thing is a little like a student revue (up to including a "Warning to scholars: This book is fundamentally unsound" at the beginning), but it is a good student revue.
Caryl Brahms & S.J. Simon wrote four humorous historical novels together; and this is probably both the silliest and funniest. They have taken a sort of general idea of the Elizabethan period, as though culled from second-rate popular histories and a good knowledge of the literature and stirred it all together as though everything in the period happened in a rush rather than during a reign of over forty years. Characters from the 1560s rub shoulders with others from the 1600s and later (playwrights right through until the closing of the theatres in the 1640s are often described as Elizabethan).
The plot is dominated by the two best known parts of Elizabethan society, the theatre and the court. Francis Bacon is desperate to be given a secondhand bed by the queen, a sign of great preferment. He commissions Shakespeare to write a play to be performed for the queen and court, to captivate her. (Shakespeare holds out for a fee of £40 when, as Bacon points out, you can get Beaumont and Fletcher for a ten pound note, and there are two of them.) Meanwhile, new lady-in-waiting Viola Compton has annoyed the queen by an accurate imitation of Mary Queen of Scots; she has discovered the stage. As in many stories dealing with the theatre of the time (I can think of two novels and a play without even trying), she disguises herself as a boy to become an actor in Shakespeare's company. (The commoness of the theme is probably because it is prompted by the many girls who disguise themselves as boys in Shakespeare's own plays.)
Across the town, the rival theatre company of Philip Henslowe sets out to destroy the Burtbages and Shakespeare, with various ham-fisted attempts to destroy their theatre: inciting the Puritans to close it down, sending out bravos to burn it - they get lost and burn down Henslowe's theatre instead, and finally sabotaging the props for a performance of Henry VIII. (In fact, the Globe did burn down after an accident with cannon in Henry VIII.)
It's the small touches that make this book so successful - the nightwatchman with ambition, Shakespeare's continual attempts to begin his masterpiece Love's Labour Won, Raleigh's potato tasting and so on. It helps if you know something about Elizabethan history and drama, but the novel is still riotously funny even if you don't know that much. The tone of the whole thing is a little like a student revue (up to including a "Warning to scholars: This book is fundamentally unsound" at the beginning), but it is a good student revue.
January 26, 2016
So I bought this on a whim. Basically because because some of the blurbs called it the basis for Shakespeare in Love — one of my favorite movies — and, while they do share some uncanny superficial similarities (a girl boy-player named Viola falling for a stressed-out Shakespeare, the gleefully irreverent nature, blah, blah, blah), it is, for the most part, NOTHING AT ALL like Shakespeare in Love. I mean, despite his name being in the subtitle, Shakespeare's story is mostly a subplot, and the bulk of the book focuses instead on a handful of several other historical characters of the period, with most of the attention given to the Queen and her merrie (so merrie) band of cohorts.
I'm still really glad I picked this book up though! Mostly because it is the most charming thing ever to have been charming. The writing style is Spartan and funny and quirky and so self-aware. So self-aware, in fact, that I was actually pretty surprised to learn that this book was written in the early 1940s, the humor seeming so, you know, modern. All the recurring jokes sprinkled throughout the book — the unnamed commoner's journey through ever-changing careers, Sir Walter Raleigh's doomed search for fashionable cloak, people complaining about spelling — were definite highlights for me. The book does falter a bit, towards the end (of course an otherwise excellent book would falter towards the end) but overall a pretty fun read!
I'm still really glad I picked this book up though! Mostly because it is the most charming thing ever to have been charming. The writing style is Spartan and funny and quirky and so self-aware. So self-aware, in fact, that I was actually pretty surprised to learn that this book was written in the early 1940s, the humor seeming so, you know, modern. All the recurring jokes sprinkled throughout the book — the unnamed commoner's journey through ever-changing careers, Sir Walter Raleigh's doomed search for fashionable cloak, people complaining about spelling — were definite highlights for me. The book does falter a bit, towards the end (of course an otherwise excellent book would falter towards the end) but overall a pretty fun read!
December 2, 2020
A hilarious and wonderfully irreverent romp across Shakespeare's stage and through Elizabeth I's court that doesn't take itself the slightest bit seriously and merrily pokes fun at pretty much every notable figure involved. Historical accurancy you'll search for in vain in this delightful little book, but excellent entertainment is found aplenty.
March 9, 2016
It is time for the Queen's Revels and Elizabeth is on a tear. It seems as if she will not be pleased with anything and anyone.
Shakespeare has been commissioned to write a play but can't make up his mind. The two theatres are major competitors and are out to destroy each other while being polite and courteous to each other's faces. Essex is rebelling and Raleigh is worried how his new discovery will be liked or not liked. He has just brought a new delicacy - the potato - to England and it is to be tasted for the first time during the events. Drake just goes on and on about his old battles.
Oh, and Bacon and the bed? Seems there is quite a cachet to owning a bed that the queen has slept in. Quite a status symbol and Bacon is out to get the next one this time.
It is the lunatic asylum out on the streets and in court with all that is going on. Humourous and entertaining with an Elizabethan flourish.
Shakespeare has been commissioned to write a play but can't make up his mind. The two theatres are major competitors and are out to destroy each other while being polite and courteous to each other's faces. Essex is rebelling and Raleigh is worried how his new discovery will be liked or not liked. He has just brought a new delicacy - the potato - to England and it is to be tasted for the first time during the events. Drake just goes on and on about his old battles.
Oh, and Bacon and the bed? Seems there is quite a cachet to owning a bed that the queen has slept in. Quite a status symbol and Bacon is out to get the next one this time.
It is the lunatic asylum out on the streets and in court with all that is going on. Humourous and entertaining with an Elizabethan flourish.
January 7, 2022
I randomly picked this up at a secondhand bookstore because the title seemed fun, which is something I should not do in the future.
November 29, 2019
A fine example of the mastery of delightful silliness that only the English seem able to achieve. The writing captures the chaotic world of Elizabethan London and more particularly that of the theater. Those who enjoyed the film “Shakespeare in Love” will recognize and relish many of the characters and situations.
There are passages that obliged me to put the book aside a bit to recover from laughter-induced pain:
Cardinal Wolsey, enamored of the theater has arrived where Shakespeare and his company are simultaneously building, decorating and rehearsing (a play that’s less than half written) in what is to become a theater.
He hurried over and drew Shakespeare aside.
“Master Will,” he said, “I want to be a ghost.”
Shakespeare looked at him evilly.
On their right an epidemic of hammering had broken out. On their left a great deal of hoisting, whoa-ing. Steadying and “there-lads” was going on. Cardinal Wolsey felt that perhaps he had not made himself clear.
“A ghost,” he repeated.
“A ghost,” said Shakespeare, looking at him with hate. “You are going the right way about it.”
The scene deteriorates continually from there …
In the midst of all the nonsense, a good deal of quite serious English history marches by, including the downfall and demise of Mary Queen of Scots, Robert Devereux (Essex) and the unfortunate Lady Jane Gray. But Brahms and her collaborator S. J. Simon quickly get on with topics that are a lot more fun, including the extended sending-up of Sir Francis Bacon — perhaps intended as a sharp poke at the “Baconites” who have claimed Bacon as the true author of Shakespeare’s plays.
The book itself is somewhat helter-skelter in construction, in keeping with the turmoil of the scenes portrayed; but I couldn’t help thinking that the chaotic writing was also affected by the extreme haste with which it was written, in the midst of the London blitz, working to a very demanding deadline, the publisher demanding at least 7,000 words a week.
There are passages that obliged me to put the book aside a bit to recover from laughter-induced pain:
Cardinal Wolsey, enamored of the theater has arrived where Shakespeare and his company are simultaneously building, decorating and rehearsing (a play that’s less than half written) in what is to become a theater.
He hurried over and drew Shakespeare aside.
“Master Will,” he said, “I want to be a ghost.”
Shakespeare looked at him evilly.
On their right an epidemic of hammering had broken out. On their left a great deal of hoisting, whoa-ing. Steadying and “there-lads” was going on. Cardinal Wolsey felt that perhaps he had not made himself clear.
“A ghost,” he repeated.
“A ghost,” said Shakespeare, looking at him with hate. “You are going the right way about it.”
The scene deteriorates continually from there …
In the midst of all the nonsense, a good deal of quite serious English history marches by, including the downfall and demise of Mary Queen of Scots, Robert Devereux (Essex) and the unfortunate Lady Jane Gray. But Brahms and her collaborator S. J. Simon quickly get on with topics that are a lot more fun, including the extended sending-up of Sir Francis Bacon — perhaps intended as a sharp poke at the “Baconites” who have claimed Bacon as the true author of Shakespeare’s plays.
The book itself is somewhat helter-skelter in construction, in keeping with the turmoil of the scenes portrayed; but I couldn’t help thinking that the chaotic writing was also affected by the extreme haste with which it was written, in the midst of the London blitz, working to a very demanding deadline, the publisher demanding at least 7,000 words a week.
May 15, 2015
I first read this when I was at school (in the 1960s) and have returned to the authors recently. It's still wry and sometimes outrightly funny and to me at least it has not dated. Nicely written by Brahms and Simon.
June 14, 2012
What a riot. I read this years ago, and I am afraid it informs my interest in Shakespeare and Francis Bacon. You would have to read this book to understand why that is alarming.
July 30, 2012
A little silly, and there wasn't much of a plot, but cute and funny.
June 4, 2021
‘Shakespeare in Love’* is one of my favourite films, so when I found out in January that it had been based on this book – as opposed to springing, Artemis-like, from the head of the unmatchable Tom Stoppard** - I jumped on it, breaking a ‘no new book’ rule I instituted while reading through the first of my TBRs.
Aaand it’s taken since January for me to finish it. Despite a galloping start, solid comic writing, and an interesting premise, the work never comes together. Stoppard** chose, wisely, to focus on the fictional relationship between Shakespeare and his ‘muse’ Viola. She ultimately becomes Viola in ‘Twelfth Night’, based on a relationship blossoming with Will while he writes and directs and she stars in (while cross-dressing) ‘Romeo and Juliet’. This book, however, gives equal airtime to Francis Bacon and his quest to be gifted one of Elizabeth I’s second-hand beds (which – ew?!), the rivalry between Henslowe and Burbage (resulting in grand arson), Walter Raleigh’s wardrobe malfunctions, the Master of the Revel’s Henry VIII’s anecdotes, and the arrival of the potato to English shores. It lacked an ‘in’, a POV character, and a recognisable plot arc. The film is much, much better.
*Many people lament that this film won Best Picture at the Oscars over ‘Saving Private Ryan’. This honestly baffles me. ‘Shakespeare in Love’ has witty writing, historical nous, fantastic costumes, exquisite editing, and a perfect bittersweet ending. It’s a Fabergé egg of a film. SPR is just like every other grey-to-sepia toned war film I have ever seen. Some people are super invested in watching Tom Hanks get covered in mud and having their ears assaulted with replica battles, I guess. To which I say: your trash is not my trash. And it’s also fully trash. Suck it.
**I’m aware that Stoppard is only one of three or even four screenwriters credited on this production. I do not care. The wit of the individual lines and the clever call-backs and small plot resolutions is 100% Stoppard. I saw a student production of ‘Arcadia’ in Oxford in 2013, it still haunts me, I’m definitely an authority on this matter.
On the title page it says, “Warning to Scholars: this book is fundamentally unsound”. Which reminds me of a dramatis personae list that included an ‘angel who did not so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards’. Which, given that it was a rec-list by Neil Gaiman that brought this book to my attention, is very apropos.
Aaand it’s taken since January for me to finish it. Despite a galloping start, solid comic writing, and an interesting premise, the work never comes together. Stoppard** chose, wisely, to focus on the fictional relationship between Shakespeare and his ‘muse’ Viola. She ultimately becomes Viola in ‘Twelfth Night’, based on a relationship blossoming with Will while he writes and directs and she stars in (while cross-dressing) ‘Romeo and Juliet’. This book, however, gives equal airtime to Francis Bacon and his quest to be gifted one of Elizabeth I’s second-hand beds (which – ew?!), the rivalry between Henslowe and Burbage (resulting in grand arson), Walter Raleigh’s wardrobe malfunctions, the Master of the Revel’s Henry VIII’s anecdotes, and the arrival of the potato to English shores. It lacked an ‘in’, a POV character, and a recognisable plot arc. The film is much, much better.
*Many people lament that this film won Best Picture at the Oscars over ‘Saving Private Ryan’. This honestly baffles me. ‘Shakespeare in Love’ has witty writing, historical nous, fantastic costumes, exquisite editing, and a perfect bittersweet ending. It’s a Fabergé egg of a film. SPR is just like every other grey-to-sepia toned war film I have ever seen. Some people are super invested in watching Tom Hanks get covered in mud and having their ears assaulted with replica battles, I guess. To which I say: your trash is not my trash. And it’s also fully trash. Suck it.
**I’m aware that Stoppard is only one of three or even four screenwriters credited on this production. I do not care. The wit of the individual lines and the clever call-backs and small plot resolutions is 100% Stoppard. I saw a student production of ‘Arcadia’ in Oxford in 2013, it still haunts me, I’m definitely an authority on this matter.
On the title page it says, “Warning to Scholars: this book is fundamentally unsound”. Which reminds me of a dramatis personae list that included an ‘angel who did not so much fall as saunter vaguely downwards’. Which, given that it was a rec-list by Neil Gaiman that brought this book to my attention, is very apropos.
March 15, 2021
The epigraph page of No Bed for Bacon bears a Warning to Scholars: ‘This book is fundamentally unsound’. It may be so, but it’s both fun and, surely, hugely influential. Written in the course of several frenzied months in 1940, this historical farce imagines the London of Queen Elizabeth I at just the time that so many parts of the city were being destroyed in the Blitz. The two authors, both of whom were serving as air raid wardens, often had only an hour or so together each day to exchange ideas, and were reduced to leaving cryptic notes for one another in their wardens’ log-book. Though they squabbled passionately, and at one point considered taking out a legal injunction to prevent them ever having to work together again, they managed to produce a work of high British silliness. At its heart is Francis Bacon, an ambitious courtier who wants nothing more than to be awarded one of Gloriana’s beds from her progresses, so that he can pass it down to his heirs as an investment. Across town, the rival impresarios Philip Henslowe and Richard Burbage strive for theatrical domination, while the author Will Shakespeare is struggling to find a suitable opening for his new play Love’s Labours Won. A young aristocrat, Viola Compton, dreams of becoming an actor. And, at court, Sir Walter Raleigh plans for the greatest day of his life: the ceremonial tasting of the first potato from the New World. If only he can find a new cloak elegant enough to wear…
For the full review, please see my blog:
https://theidlewoman.net/2020/06/15/n...
For the full review, please see my blog:
https://theidlewoman.net/2020/06/15/n...
March 16, 2024
A legitimately funny 1940s Shakespearean comedy. There's silliness and heart and a lot of excellent jokes. I found it very enjoyable to read and also fascinating as a historical artefact, written as it was in 1941 in the margins of World War Two.
December 20, 2024
Mildly amusing/entertaining, obvious inspiration for the background to Blackadder II/Upstart Crow but without much in the way of plot/laugh-out-louds.
June 20, 2025
No Bed for Bacon by Caryl Brahms and SJ Simon – this novel is included on The 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read List – you find it on The Guardian site
8 out of 10
To think that I have been waiting for this to ‘show up’ for so long, and once it became available on the Archive site https://archive.org/ and I have had the chance to read it, either I blew it, or the book is not so formidable after all…granted, the latter hypothesis is the less probable, it is more likely that I am losing my grip
If I ever had it – one issue with No Bed For Bacon is surely the high expectations fallacy, with all that longing to get to this opus, which happens to be near the head of The Comedy Chapter, on the aforementioned list of 1,000 Big Beanos, once it became accessible, and the reading started, I said loudly…
What? This is the long-awaited magnum opus; you must be kidding me…
Besides, I must be thinking in terms of Shakespeare in Love https://realini.blogspot.com/2023/08/... come with preconceived ideas to the Glasperlenspiel aka Glass Beads Game, and ergo, the Caryl Brahms proposal is confusing
In conclusion, the book was not for me, and that was the quote at the end of this note -a Standard ending in which I brag about an invention of mine, in which you might be interested, participation in the 1989 Revolution, and there are some other things, you could skip, and go the bottom, or just see that this is tedious and stop altogether…
But let me tell you about the story behind Shakespeare in Love -this is the dysfunctional way these scribblings work, or do not, I just take a path, then abruptly abandon it, leave the route, and just stumble into the wild
Julia Roberts was attached to the original project, that is how the funding is obtained, you need a big name – well, there are always the independent films – and she had been catapulted to stardom with Pretty Woman, albeit she was still very young, and this justifies the mistakes she made, and her dropping the ball
They travel to England, where she wanted Daniel Day Lewis to be Shakespeare – which makes sense, he is the only one with three Oscars (there is the glorious Jack Nicholson, but he has two for leading, and one for supporting role, the latter is for As Good as It Gets, where I did not like Helen Hunt, she is one of my movie allergies actually, together with Kushner, Debicki) – only Day Lewis was not available. He was doing In The Name of The Father
Julia Roberts insists, I think she sent flowers, but the fabulous thespian replied that he could not film with her, and then they showed her Hugh Grant, colin Firth, at least this is how I remember it, nonetheless, there were young actors, who would become huge names, and Roberts rejected them all, with arrogance
Eventually, she leaves the hotel, city, and then they have to work hard to take this from the ashes and have a Phoenix bird renaissance, with Gwyneth Paltrow taking the empty place, going to win the Academy Award (and crying at the ceremony), along with Judy Dench, as Elizabeth II, and the film is a landmark now
Elizabeth II is a major player in No Bed for Bacon, and she reminds me of another great motion picture, Elizabeth https://realini.blogspot.com/2019/02/... wherein Gloriana is portrayed by Cate Blanchet -nominated for an Oscar for this, she has two, or is it three now, with Tar, Academy Awards – and the cast is phenomenal, with Geoffrey Rush, Richard Attenborough, Clive Owen and others
In No Bed for Bacon, Gloriana – this is a new one for yours truly, Elizabeth having this name – complains of…nightingales, she wants to see them as…food, for breakfast, and not be annoyed by them, presumably, they disturb her rest, the sleep of her majesty, the virgin queen, and that was enough to turn me off
‘the demand for Gloriana’s bedsteads was never greater’ this is one of the main themes, and it does have an amusing turn, and this is one crucial element of Positivity – the other nine would be interest, awe, inspiration, pride, hope, joy, serenity, gratitude, love and you learn more about them in a psychology classic
Positivity https://realini.blogspot.com/2015/05/... was written by Barbara Fredrikson, and it is one of the criteria with which I try to select books – they come from the 1,000 Must Read list – trying to avoid the Crime section, I mean, yes, I read those too, but the priority would be lower…
If the characters, the plot, offer inspiring, awesome personages, the plot has joy, serenity, such as Glasperlenspiel https://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/... the magical chef d’oeuvre by Magister Ludi, Nobel Prize Winner for Literature Herman Hesse, then the game is on
So yes, if the novel comes close to The Glass Beads Game, then it is worth reading, but if the characters are not all that exciting – here the caveat is that Shakespeare, Elizabeth II, Drake the pirate, well, you could hardly find more thought provoking names – then the read may turn out to be boring, and that is not Flow https://realini.blogspot.com/2016/10/... because for Maximum Experience you need to be in control, nothing else matters, it is autotelic, the goals are clear, challenges meet expectations, time is relative and feedback is instantaneous and constant…
Now for my standard closing of the note with a question, and invitation – maybe you have a good idea on how we could make more than a million dollars with this http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/u... – as it is, this is a unique technique, which we could promote, sell, open the Oscars show with or something and then make lots of money together, if you have the how, I have the product, I just do not know how to get the befits from it, other than the exercise per se
There is also the small matter of working for AT&T – this huge company asked me to be its Representative for Romania and Bulgaria, on the Calling Card side, which meant sailing into the Black Sea wo meet the US Navy ships, travelling to Sofia, a lot of activity, using my mother’s two bedrooms flat as office and warehouse, all for the grand total of $250, raised after a lot of persuasion to the staggering $400…with retirement ahead, there are no benefits, nothing…it is a longer story, but if you can help get the mastodont to pay some dues, or have an idea how it can happen, let me know
As for my role in the Revolution that killed Ceausescu, a smaller Mao, there it is http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/r...
Some favorite quotes from To The Hermitage and other works
‘Fiction is infinitely preferable to real life...As long as you avoid the books of Kafka or Beckett, the everlasting plot of fiction has fewer futile experiences than the careless plot of reality...Fiction's people are fuller, deeper, cleverer, more moving than those in real life…Its actions are more intricate, illuminating, noble, profound…There are many more dramas, climaxes, romantic fulfillment, twists, turns, gratified resolutions…Unlike reality, all of this you can experience without leaving the house or even getting out of bed…What's more, books are a form of intelligent human greatness, as stories are a higher order of sense…As random life is to destiny, so stories are to great authors, who provided us with some of the highest pleasures and the most wonderful mystifications we can find…Few stories are greater than Anna Karenina, that wise epic by an often foolish author…’
‚Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus’
“From Monty Python - The Meaning of Life...Well, it's nothing very special...Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”
8 out of 10
To think that I have been waiting for this to ‘show up’ for so long, and once it became available on the Archive site https://archive.org/ and I have had the chance to read it, either I blew it, or the book is not so formidable after all…granted, the latter hypothesis is the less probable, it is more likely that I am losing my grip
If I ever had it – one issue with No Bed For Bacon is surely the high expectations fallacy, with all that longing to get to this opus, which happens to be near the head of The Comedy Chapter, on the aforementioned list of 1,000 Big Beanos, once it became accessible, and the reading started, I said loudly…
What? This is the long-awaited magnum opus; you must be kidding me…
Besides, I must be thinking in terms of Shakespeare in Love https://realini.blogspot.com/2023/08/... come with preconceived ideas to the Glasperlenspiel aka Glass Beads Game, and ergo, the Caryl Brahms proposal is confusing
In conclusion, the book was not for me, and that was the quote at the end of this note -a Standard ending in which I brag about an invention of mine, in which you might be interested, participation in the 1989 Revolution, and there are some other things, you could skip, and go the bottom, or just see that this is tedious and stop altogether…
But let me tell you about the story behind Shakespeare in Love -this is the dysfunctional way these scribblings work, or do not, I just take a path, then abruptly abandon it, leave the route, and just stumble into the wild
Julia Roberts was attached to the original project, that is how the funding is obtained, you need a big name – well, there are always the independent films – and she had been catapulted to stardom with Pretty Woman, albeit she was still very young, and this justifies the mistakes she made, and her dropping the ball
They travel to England, where she wanted Daniel Day Lewis to be Shakespeare – which makes sense, he is the only one with three Oscars (there is the glorious Jack Nicholson, but he has two for leading, and one for supporting role, the latter is for As Good as It Gets, where I did not like Helen Hunt, she is one of my movie allergies actually, together with Kushner, Debicki) – only Day Lewis was not available. He was doing In The Name of The Father
Julia Roberts insists, I think she sent flowers, but the fabulous thespian replied that he could not film with her, and then they showed her Hugh Grant, colin Firth, at least this is how I remember it, nonetheless, there were young actors, who would become huge names, and Roberts rejected them all, with arrogance
Eventually, she leaves the hotel, city, and then they have to work hard to take this from the ashes and have a Phoenix bird renaissance, with Gwyneth Paltrow taking the empty place, going to win the Academy Award (and crying at the ceremony), along with Judy Dench, as Elizabeth II, and the film is a landmark now
Elizabeth II is a major player in No Bed for Bacon, and she reminds me of another great motion picture, Elizabeth https://realini.blogspot.com/2019/02/... wherein Gloriana is portrayed by Cate Blanchet -nominated for an Oscar for this, she has two, or is it three now, with Tar, Academy Awards – and the cast is phenomenal, with Geoffrey Rush, Richard Attenborough, Clive Owen and others
In No Bed for Bacon, Gloriana – this is a new one for yours truly, Elizabeth having this name – complains of…nightingales, she wants to see them as…food, for breakfast, and not be annoyed by them, presumably, they disturb her rest, the sleep of her majesty, the virgin queen, and that was enough to turn me off
‘the demand for Gloriana’s bedsteads was never greater’ this is one of the main themes, and it does have an amusing turn, and this is one crucial element of Positivity – the other nine would be interest, awe, inspiration, pride, hope, joy, serenity, gratitude, love and you learn more about them in a psychology classic
Positivity https://realini.blogspot.com/2015/05/... was written by Barbara Fredrikson, and it is one of the criteria with which I try to select books – they come from the 1,000 Must Read list – trying to avoid the Crime section, I mean, yes, I read those too, but the priority would be lower…
If the characters, the plot, offer inspiring, awesome personages, the plot has joy, serenity, such as Glasperlenspiel https://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/... the magical chef d’oeuvre by Magister Ludi, Nobel Prize Winner for Literature Herman Hesse, then the game is on
So yes, if the novel comes close to The Glass Beads Game, then it is worth reading, but if the characters are not all that exciting – here the caveat is that Shakespeare, Elizabeth II, Drake the pirate, well, you could hardly find more thought provoking names – then the read may turn out to be boring, and that is not Flow https://realini.blogspot.com/2016/10/... because for Maximum Experience you need to be in control, nothing else matters, it is autotelic, the goals are clear, challenges meet expectations, time is relative and feedback is instantaneous and constant…
Now for my standard closing of the note with a question, and invitation – maybe you have a good idea on how we could make more than a million dollars with this http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/u... – as it is, this is a unique technique, which we could promote, sell, open the Oscars show with or something and then make lots of money together, if you have the how, I have the product, I just do not know how to get the befits from it, other than the exercise per se
There is also the small matter of working for AT&T – this huge company asked me to be its Representative for Romania and Bulgaria, on the Calling Card side, which meant sailing into the Black Sea wo meet the US Navy ships, travelling to Sofia, a lot of activity, using my mother’s two bedrooms flat as office and warehouse, all for the grand total of $250, raised after a lot of persuasion to the staggering $400…with retirement ahead, there are no benefits, nothing…it is a longer story, but if you can help get the mastodont to pay some dues, or have an idea how it can happen, let me know
As for my role in the Revolution that killed Ceausescu, a smaller Mao, there it is http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/r...
Some favorite quotes from To The Hermitage and other works
‘Fiction is infinitely preferable to real life...As long as you avoid the books of Kafka or Beckett, the everlasting plot of fiction has fewer futile experiences than the careless plot of reality...Fiction's people are fuller, deeper, cleverer, more moving than those in real life…Its actions are more intricate, illuminating, noble, profound…There are many more dramas, climaxes, romantic fulfillment, twists, turns, gratified resolutions…Unlike reality, all of this you can experience without leaving the house or even getting out of bed…What's more, books are a form of intelligent human greatness, as stories are a higher order of sense…As random life is to destiny, so stories are to great authors, who provided us with some of the highest pleasures and the most wonderful mystifications we can find…Few stories are greater than Anna Karenina, that wise epic by an often foolish author…’
‚Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus’
“From Monty Python - The Meaning of Life...Well, it's nothing very special...Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”
Read
September 16, 2015In 1941, at the height of the London Blitz, two immigrants – a Russian bridge player and a second-generation Turkish ballet critic – set out to write what would turn out to be one of the most quintessentially English comic novels ever written. The two were both fire wardens, and when they weren’t on duty together, they would leave each other cryptic notes in the watch’s log, to the puzzlement of their fellow wardens.
It may seem strange to review a book that was written almost three-quarters of a century ago. But this is a book I read and reread until the original Penguin paperback I found on my parents’ bookshelves fell apart in my hands, and only to start all over again when it was reprinted after the film, Shakespeare in Love, came out.
At its heart, No Bed for Bacon shares its story with Shakespeare in Love – a young noblewoman who falls in love with the theatre and disguises itself as a girl-boy-player. But while the film focuses on the love story between Shakespeare and Viola, Brahms and Simon give us the whole panoply of Elizabethan life. Like a Brueghel or a Where’s Wally picture, the story romps from one vignette to another. One moment, we’re in the thick of court intrigue, and the next we’re with the horse holders outside the theatre, or conspiring with rival theatre managers, or playing witness to the execution of Mary Queen of Scots.
Dipping in and out of original sources – from Philip Henslowe’s account book to first-hand descriptions of the burning of the Globe Theatre – the two authors play fast and loose with history, without ever quite departing from it. We are treated to a host of comic creations, from a vain Raleigh and a miserly Lord Burghley to a Francis Bacon who bears a suspicious resemblance to Malvolio. Along the way, the authors have a sly dig at those who theorise that Bacon was the real author of the plays.
My favourite passage is where the ageing Queen Elizabeth, surrounded by her old sea dogs on a royal barge that has run aground in the Thames, relives the defeat of the Armada. But there is so much to choose from. As the authors themselves say in their opening note, “This book is fundamentally unsound.” And all the better for it.
It may seem strange to review a book that was written almost three-quarters of a century ago. But this is a book I read and reread until the original Penguin paperback I found on my parents’ bookshelves fell apart in my hands, and only to start all over again when it was reprinted after the film, Shakespeare in Love, came out.
At its heart, No Bed for Bacon shares its story with Shakespeare in Love – a young noblewoman who falls in love with the theatre and disguises itself as a girl-boy-player. But while the film focuses on the love story between Shakespeare and Viola, Brahms and Simon give us the whole panoply of Elizabethan life. Like a Brueghel or a Where’s Wally picture, the story romps from one vignette to another. One moment, we’re in the thick of court intrigue, and the next we’re with the horse holders outside the theatre, or conspiring with rival theatre managers, or playing witness to the execution of Mary Queen of Scots.
Dipping in and out of original sources – from Philip Henslowe’s account book to first-hand descriptions of the burning of the Globe Theatre – the two authors play fast and loose with history, without ever quite departing from it. We are treated to a host of comic creations, from a vain Raleigh and a miserly Lord Burghley to a Francis Bacon who bears a suspicious resemblance to Malvolio. Along the way, the authors have a sly dig at those who theorise that Bacon was the real author of the plays.
My favourite passage is where the ageing Queen Elizabeth, surrounded by her old sea dogs on a royal barge that has run aground in the Thames, relives the defeat of the Armada. But there is so much to choose from. As the authors themselves say in their opening note, “This book is fundamentally unsound.” And all the better for it.
Want to read
July 12, 2016* 1000 novels everyone must read: the definitive list
Selected by the Guardian's Review team and a panel of expert judges, this list includes only novels – no memoirs, no short stories, no long poems – from any decade and in any language. Originally published in thematic supplements – love, crime, comedy, family and self, state of the nation, science fiction and fantasy, war and travel – they appear here for the first time in a single list.
Selected by the Guardian's Review team and a panel of expert judges, this list includes only novels – no memoirs, no short stories, no long poems – from any decade and in any language. Originally published in thematic supplements – love, crime, comedy, family and self, state of the nation, science fiction and fantasy, war and travel – they appear here for the first time in a single list.
July 12, 2017
This one would have been lively enough illustrating, as it does- hilariously, the theatrical milieu of Shakespeare, Burbage, their rivals and respective companies, but when you add a rousing account of the defeat of the Spanish Armada, and Raleigh's bungled introduction, to Elizabethan England, of the potato, well, fuck me, that's a Classic.
January 11, 2010
A comedy about Shakespeare. Amusing and charmingly old-fashioned, but not all that compelling, or possibly I wasn't in the mood (skipped through the last part...).
Want to read
February 24, 2010Hmm: .
September 11, 2010
Good, uncynical, imaginative fun. Some amusing stuff about potatoes.
January 29, 2013
Really funny, good for anyone who likes Shakespeare in Love, the Tudors or comedy - Although it is completely inaccurate!
June 27, 2013
Very funny, but surprisingly hard to follow.
January 14, 2015
A gem of a comedy. Loved every bit of this one.
dismissed-books
February 3, 2017I tried, but couldn't get into it. No rating, just dismissed.
May 13, 2021
William Shakespeare and his troupe of actors are honoured by the chance to perform for the Queen; an impressive array of characters (everyone I've ever heard of from that period of history) take part in setting the scene for this performance, hilariously. So many little "insider jokes" that play with the whole Shakespeare era -- the diverse spellings of Shakespeare's name, political intrigues, Sir Walter Raleigh's vanity, and so on. So good.
December 17, 2018
I really enjoyed this book. Yes there is the original idea behind Shakespeare in love and some of the gentle humour of 1066 and all that, but mainly it carries its own fun and charm. I thought this was fantastic. It dwells a bit on the armada but given the time it was written this can be understood. If you are feeling a bit down then this is a brilliant book 'to cheer us all up'.
June 5, 2021
What a treat ! A rollicking, intellectually rich, comedy featuring Shakespeare, his theatrical pals and rivals, his royal and noble paymasters and much more. For many years out of print - I borrowed a rare 50s survivor from my local library, but re-issued on the back of Shakespeare in Love, which it of course pre-dates, and possibly inspired.
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