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I'll Never Be French (no matter what I do): Living in a Small Village in Brittany

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Tired of Provence in books, cuisine, and tablecloths? Exhausted from your armchair travels to Paris? Despairing of ever finding a place that speaks to you beyond reason? You are ripe for a journey to Brittany, where author Mark Greenside reluctantly travels, eats of the crêpes, and finds a second life.

When Mark Greenside -- a native New Yorker living in California, doubting (not-as-trusting-as Thomas, downwardly mobile, political lefty, writer, and lifelong skeptic -- is dragged by his girlfriend to a tiny Celtic village in Brittany at the westernmost edge of France, in Finistère, "the end of the world," his life begins to change.

In a playful, headlong style, and with enormous affection for the Bretons, Greenside tells how he makes a life for himself in a country where he doesn't speak the language or know how things are done. Against his personal inclinations and better judgments, he places his trust in the villagers he encounters -- neighbors, workers, acquaintances -- and is consistently won over and surprised as he manages and survives day-to-day trials: from opening a bank account and buying a house to removing a beehive from the chimney -- in other words, learning the cultural ropes, living with neighbors, and making new friends.

I'll Never Be French (no matter what I do) is a beginning and a homecoming for Greenside, as his father's family emigrated from France. It is a memoir about fitting in, not standing out; being part of something larger, not being separate from it; following, not leading. It explores the joys and adventures of living a double life.

241 pages, Paperback

First published November 4, 2008

146 people are currently reading
5021 people want to read

About the author

Mark Greenside

6 books36 followers
Mark Greenside holds B.S. and M.A. degrees from the University of Wisconsin. He has been a civil rights activist, Vietnam War protestor, anti-draft counselor, Vista Volunteer, union leader, and college professor. His stories have appeared in The Sun, The Literary Review, Cimarron Review, The Nebraska Review, Beloit Fiction Journal, The New Laurel Review, Crosscurrents, Five Fingers Review, and The Long Story, as well as other journals and magazines, and he is the author of the short story collection, I Saw a Man Hit His Wife.

He presently lives in Alameda, California, where he continues to teach and be politically active, and Brittany, France, where he still can't do anything without asking for help.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 367 reviews
Profile Image for H (trying to keep up with GR friends) Balikov.
2,125 reviews819 followers
April 3, 2023
Greenside is an author who spent a summer in France. What makes this book:
1. Different from the many similar ones?
2. Worth time spent reading his memoir?

I hope to answer both questions and some others along the way.

Greenside writes with humor (though not in the vein of Peter Mayle whom he acknowledges).
This is a book about a small village in Brittany that he comes to know (and, perhaps understand) intimately.

He is very good at describing people, places and things….and even better at describing his erroneous assumptions.

His voyage of discovery is mostly first-person, present tense, so it is as close as one can get to being there with him.

The life of a such a place is fascinating. How? Here is an example.

“I push. She pulls. That’s it---I’m a pusher, and France is a nation of pullers. It’s a lesson I’ll have to learn.
“Merci,” I say as I step into the store. Seven people are waiting ahead of me, in a wedge. In the U.S. it would look like a stakeout of some kind of takeover. In Brittany, it’s French people waiting for bread. Even more amazing is how they’re dressed: the women in skirts and pumps with sweaters and scarves; the men in slacks, shirts with collars, and shiny shoes. No pajamas, bathrobes, hair curlers, jogging outfits, or sweat-pants on anyone. In my torn pants and yesterday’s T-shirt, with uncombed hair, unshaven, and unwashed, no one in the shop looks like me. No one looks at me either. In the U.S., if someone like me came into a small shop everyone would stare, fuss, become very quiet or very loud, and pretend that I didn’t exist.
“The baker, a young man in his late twenties or early thirties wearing a spotless white apron, his black hair and mustache covered with flour---no hair nets here!---greets each person as he or she steps forward from his or her place in the wedge. “Bonjour. Ca va?” Hello, how’s it going? It’s enough to get the conversation started. I’ve seen it before. There could be a hundred people in that wedge, and each person will get the time to say whatever it is that he or she needs to say. In New York, at six in the morning, with half a dozen tired, hungry people in line behind you, you and the baker would be dead for taking so much as a millisecond longer than the actual exchange required. If you waited in line and didn’t know what you wanted when your turn came or didn’t have your money ready to pay on the spot. God help you. None of which seems to matter here.”

This is a voyage of discovery that I enjoyed from the start. I believe it provided a greater understanding of a specific culture and it was entertaining as well.
Profile Image for Barbara.
45 reviews1 follower
January 12, 2009
I can't resist reading about people who find themselves falling in love with another country and then bravely finding a way to live there (and here.) This book was entertaining, laugh out loud funny, and sweet. I enjoyed reading about Breton culture and watching Mark bumble his way through buying a house, redoing his floors, opening a bank account, trying to understand the French insurance system (which so totally beats ours), and attempting to learn the language. He is blessed with lovely neighbors who shower him with advice and of course wonderful food. Enjoy the read! Even better, try Under the Tuscan Sun (Frances Mayes), Italian Neighbors (Tim Parks) and On Rue Tatin (Susan Loomis).
Profile Image for Elyse Mcnulty.
887 reviews23 followers
February 18, 2021
OMG...this book was so entertaining. Mark Greenside, a NY writer, goes to Breton, France for the Summer with his “then” girlfriend. He falls in love with the community, values, traditions, food, monetary policies and makes life long friends. He ends up purchasing a house there. You have to read his saga. This will go down as one 0f the most fun “true story” books I have read.
Enjoy!
Profile Image for Sara.
101 reviews153 followers
August 20, 2009
I must confess that I do not read a lot of travel books, but I was impressed with I’ll Never be French (no matter what I do): Living in a Small Village in Brittany. Despite the lengthy title, the book is actually a rather brief literary romance between a man and his coastal French town. Against Greenside’s best efforts, he and a girlfriend plan a vacation to France. The relationship doesn’t last, but Greenside’s growing affection for Brittany and the populace does. In the rashest move of his forty some years, Greenside is coerced into the purchase of a house. Comical miscommunications, anxiety, and miraculous good fortune ensue.

One of the things I enjoyed most about this book was the total debunking of the myth that the French hate Americans. Total. Debunking. Instead the charming and ridiculously polite strangers, neighbors and friends that Greenside meets, go above and beyond to help him out. They come across as near saints because it turns out that Greenside needs a lot of help. Self styled throughout the book as an incompetent, he spends a few chapters of the book in dirty ripped pants, repeatedly falling out of his window and buying things he has no way of paying for. Greenside effectively bumbles his way through life in France reconciling his bi-continental lifestyles. He compares himself to a three year old an apt description that endears himself to the reader and French alike.

It’s worth noting that Greenside speaks and understands very little French. And his way of communicating such frustration with the reader, is to include a lot of French dialogue that he doesn’t translate. So unless you have a working knowledge of French, Greenside leaves you as lost in the conversation as he was. While it is an effective technique and does incorporate the reader, it can also be irritating to traverse.

Injected with humor, I’ll Never be French, transports with its descriptions. For those of us who will never make it Brittany, or who have been and are interested in Greenside’s take, it is a delightful arm chair travel experience. Diane Johnson of L’Affaire, Le Mariage and Le Divorce fame calls it, “one of the nicest of the trillions of books about France.” And I’d agree with that.
Profile Image for Amanda.
21 reviews2 followers
April 16, 2009
Haw haw, the French are so different from us and I'm a bewildered American who can't get anything right and blah blah blah blah. UGH.
Profile Image for Susan Tunis.
1,015 reviews297 followers
November 27, 2021
I'm always up for a good travel memoir, but this one particularly grabbed my attention because I have friends who bought a house in Brittany. They have failed to paint the full picture. Perhaps Mr. Greenside will do a better job?

First, I'll mention that the author is a slightly neurotic, middle-aged, Jewish guy from the Bay Area. In other words, he's exactly like everyone I know. And basically, the book consists of two kinds of stories. First are the stories of him going into a situation (buying a house, making an insurance claim, arranging a party, etc.) expecting the worst and being more than pleasantly surprised. This man has become a true Francophile!

The other stories just highlight his inability to communicate and general propensity to look foolish. I can't say there was anything hugely enlightening within the pages, but it was a pleasant way to pass a couple hours. It inches me just the tiniest bit closer to visiting my friends in Brittany, which I fervently hope to do some day. And I look forward to reading the follow up he published a decade later. Please, please let him have learned to speak the language!
Profile Image for Lesley.
14 reviews1 follower
December 6, 2012


Mildly entertaining and a fast read. The author spends a bit too much time wondering (and deciding for himself) what other people think of him. There were some bits which were quite funny, and you may learn a thing or two about the French, Bretons, and the differences between the two. A nice look at a part of France not often publicized in literature, but a beautiful part of France with its own unique customs. Wish I could live in Finistere too! Overall, a decent memoir about owning a home in a foreign country. Recommended for: those who like memoirs, Francophiles or even those who have never been to France.
Profile Image for Dianne.
475 reviews9 followers
April 20, 2013
Mark Greenside was living with his girlfriend in New York when out of the blue she said to him: "Honey, let's go to France". He had been in France years earlier and it had not been a good experience, and he didn't speak French, so he wasn't thrilled with the idea. But she had answers for all his arguments and eventually she wore him down. They went to France - Brittany - for the summer. This is the story of how he fell in love with the country, bought a house and became a permanent part-time resident.

The title is what attracted me. He sounds so desperate to fit in. The fact that it's about France didn't hurt either, since I can't seem to turn down anything in writing that is set there or even mentions it a few times. There's a quote on the cover from the Detroit Free Press suggesting we all "run, do not walk, to the nearest copy of I'll Never Be French." They call it a "funny, funny book". I'm less enthusiastic. I think one "funny" is enough and walking is fine.

It's possible I've read too many of these stories and they just don't impress me that much anymore. I don't want that to be true but I don't know how else to explain my lack of excitement about this one. The writing is decent, the stories are interesting enough, his honesty about the helplessness he felt is (at least one) funny and the setting is perfect. I can't figure out why I was disappointed.

Greenside's experience was a little different than some I've read where trying to buy a house or a car turns into a nightmare. In this case people seemed to bend over backwards to help him and make it easy. What he did find difficult were the small things, like finding a locker at an airport or figuring out how to stand in line at a bakery. In his words: "It's extraordinary, really, the number of ways France finds to make daily life a difficulty."

Well I don't care. Great book or not, difficult daily life or not, I still want to go to France. As for the book, I'd give it maybe a 5 or 6, depending on my mood, out of 10. As Randy Jackson likes to say...it was just ok for me.
Profile Image for Wellington.
705 reviews24 followers
March 5, 2009


Started out as a potentially enchanting book but just tripped over itself. I last studied French in high school so a lot of the French dialogue can only be appreciated by someone who knows French. And then there were parts in the story that just seemed missing.

I could understand why the author would want to skip over the ending of a relationship. How someone just finds himself buying a house in France confused me too. It just felt like a chapter was missing there.

Profile Image for Numidica.
479 reviews8 followers
March 26, 2023
I had forgotten reading this book about fifteen years ago. I enjoyed it - it's a quick read.
Profile Image for Jeannie Leighton.
54 reviews1 follower
July 5, 2024
Mark Greenside writes an honest and funny portrayal of an American living half the year in a small French seacoast town and in Northern California. His struggles with language and culture, along with a NY style view of life takes the reader on an adventure that this reader dreams of. Great read.
Interspersed with true French and his bastardized attempts at the language reminded me of my 4 semesters of college French, most of which I've forgotten. By the end of the book, some of the language returned.
Profile Image for Glory Gray.
7 reviews1 follower
September 7, 2012
I'll Never Be French (no matter what I do) Living in a Small Village in Brittany by Mark Greenside
I'm a big fan of Peter Mayle and Frances Mayes, so I will read just about any book with a similar theme. Mark Greenside writes from the point of view of a hapless, poor, single American male who is a bit in awe of small town France.

The scenes of miscommunication are particularly entertaining. In the end, we cheer for Mark and wonder if he'll successfully navigate this new world and its alien culture.

I enjoyed the descriptions of Brittany. He provided just enough to make me want to visit without rambling on with too much detail.

About three-quarters of the way through the book, I became aware that many of the scenes have a lot of French conversations that don't include translations. My mind didn't register this at first because I know enough French to understand what was going on. However, someone who knows no French may get lost and not understand some of the humor.

Profile Image for Masteatro.
605 reviews87 followers
May 4, 2021
Si tuviera que calificar este libro con un solo adjetivo, sería simpático. Son una especie de memorias de los primeros años que el autor pasó en el que ahora es de alguna manera "su segundo pueblo", un pueblecito de nada más y nada menos que la Bretaña francesa.
Es evidentemente un libro narrado con toques de humor, algo que ya se puede intuir desde su título, y que trata de poner de manifiesto las diferencias de carácter y de modo de vida entre Estados Unidos y Francia, o más bien, la Bretaña francesa que, según tengo entendido es todo un mundo en sí misma.
Lo que más me ha gustado es que aunque el autor señala las diferencias, no lo hace burlándose sino resaltándolas con cariño, hasta el punto de que, en no pocos aspectos, prefiere el carácter Bretón.
¿Lo más divertido de todo? Para mí, las dificultades y equívocos idiomáticos, los he señalado todos :)
Profile Image for David Canford.
Author 20 books42 followers
June 13, 2021
An American writer visits Brittany with his soon to be ex girlfriend and decides to buy a house there where he spends half of each year. It makes for an interesting if brief foray into Breton life and culture.
I found it irritating that given he went back every year for many years, the author didn't make the effort to master even a modest level of French.
He is pleasantly surprised by the locals, discovering that they are not anti-American. They also don’t try to take advantage of him to make money out of him. Many consider the French off hand and unfriendly but he finds that is not the case. They merely have an etiquette of how things should be done and how people should behave. The locals he meets go out of their way to be helpful. A good light read.
Profile Image for Brian.
7 reviews
June 3, 2012
When you work in publishing, as I do, you have access to all kinds of books. A bunch end up on first-come, first-served shelves. Maybe they were sent for review to the wrong address. Maybe they two copies came for publicity purposes when only one would suffice. Some just arrive looking for a home.

I grabbed Mark Greenside’s book “I’ll Never be French (no matter what I do)” from a pile of very uninteresting books because it stood out. The bright red cover and witty title led me to discover a genre I fall in and out of love with – the expatriate memoir.

Read more here
12 reviews
March 27, 2016
The author is quite cynical and passive-aggressive towards others (mainly conservatives or the religious) who don't believe exactly as he does. It's subtle, but there are snide remarks throughout the book. He will have you believe at the end of each chapter though that thanks to the grace and kindness of others, he has become a better man. To think he's a college professor... I sure wouldn't want him shaping my youth's mind....the story itself is okay. It's Mark I couldn't stomach.
320 reviews
October 20, 2009
A charming starting-over book, this time from the (rare) single male persective. I enjoyed his perspective on the rural French lifestyle and the simple trust that villagers put in each other, something missing in Greenside's California upbringing.

Laugh out loud in a few places, slight smile throughout, a very pleasant read.
32 reviews
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October 8, 2025
Nostalgia overload. Laughed out loud multiple times.
1 review
June 30, 2021
During the global pandemic of 2019-21, in an effort to allay some of my frustration with being stuck stateside, I started reading about France—as many books as I could get my hands on (and that could fit on my shelves). Mark Greenside’s I’ll Never be French (no matter what I do: Living in a Small Village in Brittany was the 37th book that I completed. It was also the first book on which I felt compelled to disseminate a review. Which, in sum, is “NOPE!”

Throughout the book, Greenside reminds us that he is progressive, alternately describing himself as “liberal,” “hippie,” “Democrat,” “Socialist,” “Green,” “anti-gun,” “anti-abortion,” and a “civil-rights activist.” But the man doth protest too much, methinks! His bio is a smokescreen, laid down to obscure mean-spirited, often offensive, comments about France, the French, and especially the inhabitants of the village of Finistère (not to mention his ex-girlfriend, who orchestrated the vacation that spawned the book).

Greenside is unabashedly unwilling to learn even rudimentary French, continuing, even after purchasing a home in France, to communicate with hand gestures and Franglish. He seems to think that, because his Breton neighbors do not speak English, he should be forgiven his ignorance of their language and traditions. But it’s clear that his relationship with the residents of Finistère is lopsided. They feed him, take him shopping and sightseeing, and help him purchase then renovate a house—often for free or at a deep discount.

Far too many expats to France fall back on old stereotypes about France and the French, describing them as rude or lazy. Greenside has an opportunity to be an outlier among such expats, as he briefly acknowledges that he has landed in a village of friendly, salt-of-the-earth, patriotic Bretons. Instead, he depicts them as trusting to the point of gullibility. In one example, he pesters and teases his long-suffering insurance agent even after the agent’s munificence helps Greenside profit from his multiple insurance claims. At best, he is simply blind to his own parasitic behavior. But, more likely, he recognizes that he has taken advantage of their kindness and simply doesn’t care.

I expect that some of the people who buy Greenside’s book are hoping for insight into the process of buying a home in France. While he certainly does discuss home-ownership in this book, his approach is unlikely to suit 99% of his readers. To save you some time, here is Greenside’s home-buying process:

Step 1: Call your widowed mother. (Make sure to call her collect so that she eats the cost of your international call!)
Step 2: Have her give (not loan) you $85,000 (100% of the cost of the house). Be sure to brag about still living off of your mother at the age of nearly 50.
Step 3: Profit!
Right on the cover of its paperback edition, Greenside’s book is compared to the writing of Peter Mayle and Bill Bryson. Such a comparison is an insult to those seasoned, clever authors. (Could this be why their opinions are notably absent from the book’s scant “praise for…” section?) To paraphrase a classic from Senator Lloyd Bentsen:

Mark, I know Bill Bryson. You, sir, are NO Bill Bryson.

There are myriad engaging books about France that will enrich your understanding of French history, give you a feel for life in France profonde, and whet your appetite for French travel. Richard Bernstein’s sweeping Fragile Glory: A Portrait of France and the French, to name just one, explores the tortuous history that underpins the French lifestyle, behavior, and philosophy (i.e. what makes them “tick”). Writing two decades before Greenside, Bernstein has no trouble keeping his witty descriptions respectful and informative. If you need a dose of humor in your French reading, there are far better options. Consider instead David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day, Art Buchwald’s I’ll Always Have Paris, Adam Gopnik’s Paris to the Moon, and even Janet Flanner’s Paris Journals.

But leave Greenside’s books in the bargain bin.
Profile Image for Mark McTague.
535 reviews9 followers
September 22, 2021
The author describes the humorously peculiar circumstances that led him to buy a house in a village in Bretagne, France, and he portrays his Breton neighbors with great affection. He also makes numerous observations on French culture in contrast to his own American characteristics (son of a lawyer, New York raised, naturally suspicious and somewhat pessimistic), which provides the background for the change in his mid-life personality as the joie de vivre begins to work on him. The adventures he has are both amusing and instructive of the character that makes this a true-life comic tale. However, the same "I-can't-believe-he-did-that" that charmed in the first half of the book became somewhat irritating in the second half. If all of this happened in one year, fine, but he had several years of living in this village (true, only half the year), time enough to LEARN SOME FRENCH. Without a strong background in the language or culture, one can get away with throwing oneself on the mercies of one's neighbors for the first few months, but after a while I started to feel embarrassed for and by him. Yes, one can never be French the way they are. One can't escape one's cultural assumptions, but at least try harder to learn the language. Perhaps he did, but if he did, he kept that well hidden from the reader. Would have been a better book at 2/3rds the length.
Profile Image for Julie.
1,491 reviews7 followers
February 4, 2009
Mark Greenside grudgingly agrees to spend a summer in a small town in Brittany with his girlfriend. He figures that Kathryn speaks French, and it will be a nice place for them both to write for a while. Their relationship falls apart, but by then he has made firm friendships despite his utter lack of linguistic ability, and he finds himself under the spell of the French way of doing things. Unfortunately, although he appreciates the French way, he finds himself making one inadvertent faux pas after another. His anecdotes deal with this bewildered, middle-aged hippie buying a house and dealing with issues of ownership (insurance, banking, appliances, etc.), all without much command of French. After a while these anecdotes become somewhat repetitive, but his descriptions are charming and funny.
Profile Image for Lori.
855 reviews55 followers
September 9, 2012
I discovered this book when it popped up as a recommendation for me since I've read some books by Peter Mayle. This is one for those who enjoy reading about people who actually act upon their dream and live in other countries. The author never knew this was his dream until he actually visited one summer with a girlfriend and the idea to visit had been hers. He falls out of love with her and in love with France.

Mark Greenside writing is laugh out loud funny, no doubt about that. His writing style is visually descriptive. I found him likeable and so witty...completely able to poke fun of himself. I'd love to have dinner with him once. I wonder how his French is coming along now after all this time?
Profile Image for Megan Martin.
276 reviews
October 24, 2011
Loved this book. It was fun, light, and made me want to live in France, or at least experience it. Finished this one a day after reading Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong, so it was fun to have the two parallel books, one very educational, the other anecdotal. Both enjoyable and interesting. For me in my nerdiness it is fun to read multiple books on the same topic. Wow. I should make some friends or something.

Definitely would suggest to anyone who wants to imagine living somewhere whimsical. Fun read.
Profile Image for Snail in Danger (Sid) Nicolaides.
2,081 reviews79 followers
December 1, 2008
If you enjoy Bourdain, you might enjoy this, although it's not quite as gonzo. I laughed a lot at this fellow's efforts to speak French (among other things). Surely this will come back to bite me in the future. But even if you don't speak French, you can enjoy this book. It made me want to drop everything and move to Brittany. If you can't abide Marxism, though, you might want to give this a pass. (It's only minimally relevant, but it does come up.)
Profile Image for Rose.
193 reviews
February 17, 2018
Yet another place on earth to visit on my "bucket list"! :) I'm going to need to hit the lottery!

Mark Greenside writes a hysterical memoir of living and loving Brittany. As a bumbling, fumbling middle-aged American man who is discovering a new world so unlike the one he has known.

Profile Image for Marie.
654 reviews7 followers
February 4, 2015
I very much enjoyed this book. Living in the US and then living in France, back and forth, made for some very funny and charming experiences. He was actually living in Brittany, which the French call Finistere (end of the earth) and the Bretons call Penn ar Bed (beginning of the world). I loved the storyline as much as I loved being able to read all the French parts! Very fun read.
342 reviews15 followers
October 26, 2011
I bought this for my sister after I read it. I kept calling her up and reading her parts of it. So many enjoyable anecdotes. Really liked it.
367 reviews1 follower
October 19, 2022
The author is a Californian who follows his girlfriend to France for an extended visit. He does this without much forethought and without any French language skills. The romance with the girlfriend doesn't last* but the romance with the province of Brittany does.

This is a lark of a book with one funny fish-out-of-water story after another, always at the author's expense. He sure is a good sport. He is also edgy, impatient, somewhat paranoid and somewhat contentious. This is in contrast to the French people he meets, who are calm, patient, trusting, and accommodating. The question for me was whether the warmth of his reception in France would file down his (American) rough edges.

The (disappointing to me) answer is, not really. He seems to settle on the idea that he has to be one version of himself in the U.S. and another in France. This keeps the comedy steady throughout the book, but I think it's a missed opportunity for him.

*One of my favorite lines in the book: The girlfriend tells him that if the French could understand what he was saying, they wouldn't like him, either.
Profile Image for Lisa Brandl.
87 reviews1 follower
October 21, 2024
There were some parts I smiled at, laughed and chuckled. The first half of the book is good. The last half is a slog. More than a few chapters about how he is going to be screwed by various handymen, contractors, etc., bc that’s the way it is in the USA, blah blah blah.
I was looking for more passages about how he integrated into France, the different towns, etc. Very few passages about his girlfriend - she is one dimensional.
I did like that I got a feel for what the Brittany region is like. Sounds wonderful.
I have this book two stars bc of his incessant ranting about how he is going to be scammed out of money, or the taxman is coming for him, or the police are mean, and it doesn’t turn out that way after reading pages and pages of his skepticism about French ways. Tiring.
Profile Image for Len.
732 reviews11 followers
August 26, 2018
Another read in one of my favourite genres: that of the foreigner who moves to France, and all that they encounter in their efforts to acclimatize.
This time it's Brittany - an area I've never thought of, but certainly do now. The kindness of the author's neighbours and the group of new friends he amasses in a seemingly short period of time are enough to make northern France seem idyllic, warm, hospitable and just an overall great place for a displaced North American to end up.
And, as a bonus to this reader, unlike "Pardon my French..", this author comes across as charming and likable.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 367 reviews

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