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You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want!, the 7-day Plan
Now You’re Talking!
Do you want to be bulletproof at work, secure in your relationship, and content in your own skin? If so, it’s more important than ever to be aware of what your body is saying to the outside world. Unfortunately, most of what you’ve heard from other body language experts is wrong, and, as a result, your actions may be hurting, not helping, you.
With sass and a keen eye, media favorite Janine Driver teaches you the skills she used every day to stay alive during her fifteen years as a body-language expert at the ATF. Janine’s 7-day plan and her 7-second solutions teach you dozens of body language fixes to turn any interpersonal situation to your advantage. She reveals methods here that other experts refuse to share with the public, and she debunks major myths other experts swear are
Giving more eye contact is key when you’re trying to impress someone. Not necessarily true. It’s actually more important where you point your belly button . This small body shift communicates true interest more powerfully than constant eye contact.
The “steeple” hand gesture will give you the upper hand during negotiations and business meetings. Wrong. Driver has seen this overbearing gesture backfire more often than not. Instead, she suggests two new steeples that give you power without making you seem overly the Basketball Steeple and the A-OK Two-Fingered Steeple.
Happy people command power and attention by smiling just before they meet new people. Studies have shown that people who do this are viewed as Beta Leaders. Alpha leaders smile once they shake your hand and hear your name.
At a time when every advantage counts—and first impressions matter more than ever—this is the book to help you really get your message across.
Do you want to be bulletproof at work, secure in your relationship, and content in your own skin? If so, it’s more important than ever to be aware of what your body is saying to the outside world. Unfortunately, most of what you’ve heard from other body language experts is wrong, and, as a result, your actions may be hurting, not helping, you.
With sass and a keen eye, media favorite Janine Driver teaches you the skills she used every day to stay alive during her fifteen years as a body-language expert at the ATF. Janine’s 7-day plan and her 7-second solutions teach you dozens of body language fixes to turn any interpersonal situation to your advantage. She reveals methods here that other experts refuse to share with the public, and she debunks major myths other experts swear are
Giving more eye contact is key when you’re trying to impress someone. Not necessarily true. It’s actually more important where you point your belly button . This small body shift communicates true interest more powerfully than constant eye contact.
The “steeple” hand gesture will give you the upper hand during negotiations and business meetings. Wrong. Driver has seen this overbearing gesture backfire more often than not. Instead, she suggests two new steeples that give you power without making you seem overly the Basketball Steeple and the A-OK Two-Fingered Steeple.
Happy people command power and attention by smiling just before they meet new people. Studies have shown that people who do this are viewed as Beta Leaders. Alpha leaders smile once they shake your hand and hear your name.
At a time when every advantage counts—and first impressions matter more than ever—this is the book to help you really get your message across.
230 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
428 people are currently reading
2590 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews
July 31, 2019
What I expected from this book was much more than that, But what I left behind quietly reminded me, that attitude and self - confidence are the foundation of the job.
August 6, 2016
I want to rate this 4 stars. I like the ideas and some of the content in the book but I found the execution to be poor. I thought the exercises were unrealistic expectations for someone to do in a short period of time. I really did not like starting the 'first day' of the 7 day journey with a story about a serial killer then ending with a set of exercises that were too much. It was at this point I stopped attempting to follow the '7 day' journey the book proposed and decided to read/re-read the parts that stood out to me. I did find the content really useful but ultimately I was disappointed with how it was presented. I would like to see a longer version of this book with better exercises that aren't simply "go skydiving!!".. I realize the author is trying to get the reader out of his or her comfort zone but it really didn't match or fit the goal of simply improving one's ability to read body language.
I am currently reading 'What Every Body is Saying' by Joe Navarro which might share a little bit of the same content but has a lot more depth to it.
I am currently reading 'What Every Body is Saying' by Joe Navarro which might share a little bit of the same content but has a lot more depth to it.
March 1, 2011
Sometimes I'll put RANDOM books on my library hold list after seeing something about them in a monthly newsletter. This was one of them. Sooo not my style (MUCH too self-helpy) and I just skimmed most of it. If you're interested in that type of thing, there were a couple helpful hints about projecting confidence and some tricks about reading body language. I'll just tell you so you don't have to read it: confident people don't cover vulnerable parts of their body (face, neck, crotch) with their hands or arms nor do they shove their hands in their pockets; your belly button points wherever your interest truly lies so if you're trying to strike up a conversation keep your torso turned toward the person, same goes for feet.
December 29, 2012
An unintentionally funny book on mastering body language. This tome mixes some plain old-fashioned myths of body language and some genuinely new thinking. The combination is a little dangerous. After warning -- quite properly -- readers not to try to decode a specific gesture because it may have multiple meanings, the author goes on to teach readers to use specific gestures -- as if their meanings were consistent (and useful) in all settings! I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. It's not about the gesture, it's about the intent behind the gesture. That's what matters.
December 29, 2020
For the love of God please stop calling them "naughty bits" it's not endearing.
September 28, 2019
A disjointed jumble of content overlaid by constant sales pitches for the author’s business. I’m surprised a singing hologram of her didn’t jump out at the end, selling a time share, too.
July 22, 2022
شلون أقراه
April 28, 2021
Its good book, i like way she placed the contents. Interactive and layered. I am sure you will catch atleast few ideas from this book. Remember body language is not all universal. This may not be applicable for people in some countries with different culture than US. Yet a good read.
July 5, 2012
So...a pre-review? Does that count? I do think that we communicate non-verbally much more than we think, or perhaps are aware of. What drew me to this book is what others have said--that the author goes out of her way to say that these aren't hard & fast rules--that some folk may naturally 'hug' themselves or cross their arms--and it doesn't by default mean anything negative--it's just their 'norm.' I'm curious to see how I feel about this book & its content after I've finished reading it. Will update.
January 26, 2013
It was what I call a 'rough diamond'. It's full of great ideas, but the execution is indeed hurried and rather poor.
The basic idea (change your life by changing your body language)
has potential, but I have a feeling that the writer just wanted to make a quick buck and didn't put a lot of effort in it.
It seems like a book that was written in a month or so.
That said, this book was indeed full of great ideas, concepts and useful information on body language.
The basic idea (change your life by changing your body language)
has potential, but I have a feeling that the writer just wanted to make a quick buck and didn't put a lot of effort in it.
It seems like a book that was written in a month or so.
That said, this book was indeed full of great ideas, concepts and useful information on body language.
October 16, 2023
Dr. Janine Driver, an acclaimed expert in body language and non-verbal communication, offers readers an enlightening journey into the subtle yet powerful world of unspoken cues in her book "You Say More than You Think." This insightful work, originally published in 2010 and packed with practical advice, forms a bridge between understanding the language of the body and improving interpersonal relationships and self-awareness.
In "You Say More than You Think," Driver's primary thesis revolves around the idea that our bodies continuously communicate, often revealing more about us than our spoken words. She delves into the depths of non-verbal language, demonstrating how it influences our daily interactions and decisions. Her writing resonates with the importance of deciphering the silent signals and embracing a heightened awareness of the messages we send.
Summarizing the book, Driver delves into a broad spectrum of body language cues, from facial expressions and gestures to posture and touch, unravelling their meanings and the role they play in everyday situations. Her engaging storytelling and the inclusion of photographs to illustrate various gestures make the book exceptionally informative and applicable.
Big Three Takeaways:
Non-Verbal Mastery: "You Say More than You Think" underscores the significance of mastering non-verbal cues to enhance communication, both professionally and personally. Driver's work emphasizes the essential role these cues play in conveying messages, feelings, and intentions.
Outward Mindset Connection: The book aligns with Arbinger's outward mindset philosophy, as it encourages readers to see people as people. Understanding and interpreting non-verbal signals can lead to more empathetic and compassionate interactions, helping break down barriers and fostering meaningful relationships.
The Power of Intention: Dr. Janine Driver highlights the power of intention in our non-verbal communication. By becoming more aware of the messages we send through our body language, we can intentionally convey respect and understanding, creating positive dynamics in our personal and professional lives.
Reflecting on "You Say More than You Think," it's evident that Driver's insights into the language of the body resonate strongly with the Arbinger Institute's teachings on the outward mindset. Just as Arbinger encourages us to see people as people, Driver urges us to pay attention to the subtle signals in our interactions. This interconnectedness is a powerful reminder that a shift in our awareness, whether towards body language or mindset, can result in more meaningful and authentic connections.
Drawing parallels to the frog video mentioned in my social media posts, the deaf frog and the non-deaf frog represent individuals' varying interpretations of non-verbal cues. In the world of body language, the messages we convey might be crystal clear to some but may go unnoticed by others. The importance of understanding these differences, similar to Gladwell's "Blink," highlights the complex and nuanced nature of human interaction.
In conclusion, "You Say More than You Think" provides a comprehensive and accessible guide to the language of body cues. Dr. Janine Driver's expertise in non-verbal communication delivers an exceptional resource for enhancing our understanding of unspoken signals. As we connect these insights to the outward mindset philosophy and the powerful lessons from the frog video, the book encourages us to reshape how we perceive and employ non-verbal language. It serves as a beacon for those eager to enrich their relationships, both personally and professionally, through the art of non-verbal communication.
#YouSayMoreThanYouThink #DrJanineDriver #NonVerbalCommunication #OutwardMindset #ArbingerInstitute #BookReview #TheClarkCommunique #Blink
In "You Say More than You Think," Driver's primary thesis revolves around the idea that our bodies continuously communicate, often revealing more about us than our spoken words. She delves into the depths of non-verbal language, demonstrating how it influences our daily interactions and decisions. Her writing resonates with the importance of deciphering the silent signals and embracing a heightened awareness of the messages we send.
Summarizing the book, Driver delves into a broad spectrum of body language cues, from facial expressions and gestures to posture and touch, unravelling their meanings and the role they play in everyday situations. Her engaging storytelling and the inclusion of photographs to illustrate various gestures make the book exceptionally informative and applicable.
Big Three Takeaways:
Non-Verbal Mastery: "You Say More than You Think" underscores the significance of mastering non-verbal cues to enhance communication, both professionally and personally. Driver's work emphasizes the essential role these cues play in conveying messages, feelings, and intentions.
Outward Mindset Connection: The book aligns with Arbinger's outward mindset philosophy, as it encourages readers to see people as people. Understanding and interpreting non-verbal signals can lead to more empathetic and compassionate interactions, helping break down barriers and fostering meaningful relationships.
The Power of Intention: Dr. Janine Driver highlights the power of intention in our non-verbal communication. By becoming more aware of the messages we send through our body language, we can intentionally convey respect and understanding, creating positive dynamics in our personal and professional lives.
Reflecting on "You Say More than You Think," it's evident that Driver's insights into the language of the body resonate strongly with the Arbinger Institute's teachings on the outward mindset. Just as Arbinger encourages us to see people as people, Driver urges us to pay attention to the subtle signals in our interactions. This interconnectedness is a powerful reminder that a shift in our awareness, whether towards body language or mindset, can result in more meaningful and authentic connections.
Drawing parallels to the frog video mentioned in my social media posts, the deaf frog and the non-deaf frog represent individuals' varying interpretations of non-verbal cues. In the world of body language, the messages we convey might be crystal clear to some but may go unnoticed by others. The importance of understanding these differences, similar to Gladwell's "Blink," highlights the complex and nuanced nature of human interaction.
In conclusion, "You Say More than You Think" provides a comprehensive and accessible guide to the language of body cues. Dr. Janine Driver's expertise in non-verbal communication delivers an exceptional resource for enhancing our understanding of unspoken signals. As we connect these insights to the outward mindset philosophy and the powerful lessons from the frog video, the book encourages us to reshape how we perceive and employ non-verbal language. It serves as a beacon for those eager to enrich their relationships, both personally and professionally, through the art of non-verbal communication.
#YouSayMoreThanYouThink #DrJanineDriver #NonVerbalCommunication #OutwardMindset #ArbingerInstitute #BookReview #TheClarkCommunique #Blink
January 14, 2024
I read this book because I was interested in what it had to say and my partner's mom raved about it. I didn't realize that I had expectations going into it until I started reading it and felt a little disappointed at times. Partly because of the author's experience (I think), a lot of the examples were law enforcement based (how to use this in interrogations, hostage negotiations, confessions, on trial, etc.). I understand that this is how some law enforcement conduct their business, however for me, these examples weren't effective, for the most part, because they didn't feel relevant to me. Driver also used a lot of dating/romantic relationships examples. While that's great for those that need it, us on the outside who are happy in their own situations were left hanging. It also felt that a lot of this book was more about using body language to manipulate others into giving you what you want, instead of improving oneself or one's confidence to obtain what you want. And manipulation of others just doesn't jive with me.
There were some useful tips that I will implement in my life but overall, I didn't find this book as helpful as I wished.
My rating for this book is based off the usefulness to me, personally: 3 stars. There were some useful and interesting information but not as much as I'd like.
There were some useful tips that I will implement in my life but overall, I didn't find this book as helpful as I wished.
My rating for this book is based off the usefulness to me, personally: 3 stars. There were some useful and interesting information but not as much as I'd like.
February 24, 2019
The New Body Language Program is written by a former federal law enforcement officer of ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms and Explosives) during the 1990s and 2000s before founding the Body Language Institute, where she teaches everyone from corporate executives to mothers and daughter outings. The focus of the book is to master changes in your body language behavior over a period of seven days, each day with a different aspect to work on. After the seven days, using your new tools, you can analyze your past behaviors and see what has changed.
Overall, the book has some interesting points to consider with body language, but it is a little dated at this point and has a lot of suggestions for how men can appeal to women better. I was not a huge fan of how Janine Driver would describe scenarios (very casual, some stories of her past work experiences may cause some discomfort) although she makes for an easier, more relatable reading for many individuals.
For those looking for body language books may want to consider some other options, but I would not totally discount this read. If Janine Driver wrote an updated version that would have more current situations, it would make for better understanding. Overall not bad, but best suited for medium to large libraries.
Overall, the book has some interesting points to consider with body language, but it is a little dated at this point and has a lot of suggestions for how men can appeal to women better. I was not a huge fan of how Janine Driver would describe scenarios (very casual, some stories of her past work experiences may cause some discomfort) although she makes for an easier, more relatable reading for many individuals.
For those looking for body language books may want to consider some other options, but I would not totally discount this read. If Janine Driver wrote an updated version that would have more current situations, it would make for better understanding. Overall not bad, but best suited for medium to large libraries.
March 8, 2024
The book is written in a very easy to digest way. I personally didn't enjoy how casual the tone of the author was, however, that's a personal preference and it in no way should be taken as a critique.
I didn't need to be inspired to "go out there and show myself to the world", I didn't pick up the book for the self-help guide, but more to delve into the information about body language as a whole. That being said, there was a good amount of information about body language and I very much enjoyed learning about it.
The "naughty bits" chapter just had me not enjoying myself much because of how often I had to read "naughty bits" instead of "genitals" or some other, more professional way of labeling our private area.
It's not a long book, it has useful information and it's in no way tedious to read. I'd say if anyone is thinking of giving this a read, do it, you won't waste your time.
I didn't need to be inspired to "go out there and show myself to the world", I didn't pick up the book for the self-help guide, but more to delve into the information about body language as a whole. That being said, there was a good amount of information about body language and I very much enjoyed learning about it.
The "naughty bits" chapter just had me not enjoying myself much because of how often I had to read "naughty bits" instead of "genitals" or some other, more professional way of labeling our private area.
It's not a long book, it has useful information and it's in no way tedious to read. I'd say if anyone is thinking of giving this a read, do it, you won't waste your time.
June 8, 2019
Janine is amazing! She teaches you body languages in a way that no other person does. She gives you a little saying to remember what she teaches. She also provides you with a lot of examples and tells stories about what she is trying to teach you so you can put it into a real-world context. She takes learning to the next level! She also provides you with activities and exercises to do after each section or chapter so you can apply what you have learned. I am a teacher by trade and you would think she was trained to be a teacher because of the wonderful techniques she uses. (Honestly, she is so much better than many teachers I know!!) I would love to be able to take one of her courses! This is a must read if you want to learn about body language!
August 26, 2017
This was one of the most influential books I have read in years. Studying body language is a crucial skill for communication and vital in decision making, but many of us are unaware of the truth behind bod language. I was brought up believing a few of these myths, even with military and law enforcement in my family's background. Driver does a spectacular job of educating us on this important component of human interactions. I found her to be funny and intelligent, which made reading the material more enjoyable. Out of all the psychology books I have read, this has been one of my favorites.
August 27, 2019
Janine Driver is a former investigator for ATF, trained in interrogation. Rather than teach the basics (what she calls Old Body Language), she structures the book around her formula of the three 'A's:
Accuracy+Application=Attitude
And provides helpful application techniques throughout.
I read this on a business trip to DC and applied it already during meetings while I was there, using the BBR (belly button rule) to discern the power structure in a group meeting. Driver is able to clearly describe, for instance, why Bill Clinton is so charismatic.
And why Hillary isn't. 🤣
Recommended.
Accuracy+Application=Attitude
And provides helpful application techniques throughout.
I read this on a business trip to DC and applied it already during meetings while I was there, using the BBR (belly button rule) to discern the power structure in a group meeting. Driver is able to clearly describe, for instance, why Bill Clinton is so charismatic.
And why Hillary isn't. 🤣
Recommended.
March 5, 2020
Better than expected, but annoyed by absent website
The book leads with mention of a companion website with additional resources, the closes with the same emphasis. Only the author allowed the domain to expire and be captured; a gross error and sign of bad faith. Other than that, the book is full of practical tips, both on reading others and broadcasting your own desired persona. I'll have to reread and practice till I get the outcome I want! Honestly, I never would have purchased this were it not on sale but I'm glad I did!
The book leads with mention of a companion website with additional resources, the closes with the same emphasis. Only the author allowed the domain to expire and be captured; a gross error and sign of bad faith. Other than that, the book is full of practical tips, both on reading others and broadcasting your own desired persona. I'll have to reread and practice till I get the outcome I want! Honestly, I never would have purchased this were it not on sale but I'm glad I did!
August 30, 2017
Bilgilendirici içeriği ve önerileriyle beklentiyi karşıladığını söyleyebilirim. Farklı bakış açısı, beden dili hareketlerinin ve gelebileceği anlamların veriliş algoritması ve düzeni gerçekten çok basite indirgenmiş, dolayısıyla akılda kalıcı. Fakat her bölümde bu yöntemleri uygulayanların hayatındaki değişikliklere yüzeysel de olsa sıkça değinilmesini sıkıcı buldum. Kitap bu noktada biraz kendini tekrar ediyor.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 3, 2017
Alrighty! Let’s find Garcia.
Written by a body language expert, herein lies the beginning of our own body language mastery. Fascinating cues and nuances lie within the covers, extraordinarily useful for both interpreting and displaying. I kept a body language journal as instructed and now have a mini toolkit with plenty of exercises that have helped solidify the lessons. The world of nonverbals is riveting. Highly recommend.
Written by a body language expert, herein lies the beginning of our own body language mastery. Fascinating cues and nuances lie within the covers, extraordinarily useful for both interpreting and displaying. I kept a body language journal as instructed and now have a mini toolkit with plenty of exercises that have helped solidify the lessons. The world of nonverbals is riveting. Highly recommend.
September 13, 2020
Some of my company’s sales team were reading this, and though I wasn’t interested in the book per se, I was curious about what they found important. Deeply disappointed, I can only describe the book as creepy. Some of it is common sense (the direction of your torso indicates interest), but most of it is creepy (examples don’t merit repeating). I’d call it a total waste of time, but I just learned something about those who recommended it!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 9, 2019
Chia sẻ quá nhiều thông tin cá nhân có thể khiến họ trở nên yếu đuối, cho nên thay vì thế khuyến khích họ nói. Hãy nghĩ đến sức mạnh khả năng kiểm soát mà bạn sẽ lắng nghe thay vì nói: họ tiết lộ suy nghĩ của họ, bạn chắt lọc thông tin, bạn hỏi thêm, bạn có thêm thông tin. Dần dần bạn điều khiển cuộc trò chuyện bằng câu hỏi của mình và biết nhiều chi tiết hơn về những điều bạn cần.
June 11, 2023
I learnt so much.
I’ll try to implement these new ideas and techniques. The book is written in a very approachable and non-technical way which makes it very readable for me. The instructions where interspersed with stories from Janine’s and other’s life. So that lender a personal note to the book.
Overall, an informative and easy to read book.
I’ll try to implement these new ideas and techniques. The book is written in a very approachable and non-technical way which makes it very readable for me. The instructions where interspersed with stories from Janine’s and other’s life. So that lender a personal note to the book.
Overall, an informative and easy to read book.
February 12, 2018
It's a good start if you want to get an idea about your own body language. Also there's a whole bunch of stuff here about reading other people's body language. Although, I personally think that seven days is not enough to learn everything.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 17, 2018
A new scientific approach and useful application regarding body language.
Nice written and easy to follow and apply in your life book. Highly recommended for people wanting to master body language.
Nice written and easy to follow and apply in your life book. Highly recommended for people wanting to master body language.
November 5, 2018
Positively the most rewarding,intelligent,comprehensive explanation of body language
Author has mastered the subject of body language writing clearly, concisely, completely and most of all careingly for her students and readers.
Author has mastered the subject of body language writing clearly, concisely, completely and most of all careingly for her students and readers.
March 5, 2019
Body language sometimes speaks more than words and this book was a good example still I would say it doesn’t apply to all cultures and every person can have a different way to communicate through body language.
June 4, 2019
2.5 stars. She's up front that reliably using body language to interpret motive or truthfulness isn't easy. This 7 day plan is quite a bit of work. I found her writing style a bit grating. She writes the way she speaks, so if you watch a few videos and love her, then you should pick this up.
March 9, 2020
Loved this book. Read it and listen to it on Alexa - increased retention using audio and visual senses.
I have recommended this book and will continue doing so. Better than other body language books I have read - thank you for sharing your expertise!
I have recommended this book and will continue doing so. Better than other body language books I have read - thank you for sharing your expertise!
April 7, 2020
I heard Janine speak years ago so I was anxious to read her book. I enjoyed her examples from her work at ATF and would have liked to read more about them. Janine has a few helpful points, but I thought the book was a bit too long. The exercises didn't appeal to me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews